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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Saturday, January 27, 2007 - 11:53 pm
really? I am very curious. What kind of adult has a mentor>? I've heard of adults with Sponsors..for quitting drug and alcohol support Or could Abassi's mentor be from his childhood? I guess it is possible.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 12:27 am
It is very common for people who work in large corporations to have a mentor. I had bosses I could go to to kick ideas around or help strategize with on ways to accomplish what I needed to get done, or do projects and I mentored any number of people who reported to me. It is very common in an academic setting. Many times it isn't a boss but just someone willing to support informally. At Transamerica we even had each of our master's level applicants for trainee positions taken to lunch by someone, before they were interviewed, to give them a friendly look at the company and the structure of our organization. They could ask questions (often they didn't, perhaps too scared), but it was just to give them a bit of an introduction, and a free lunch (I always thought that was a waste since most people can hardly digest a nice lunch right before an interview) Then when a person was hired (not just a trainee) they were given a buddy for the first week, to take them around, show them nuts and bolts things like where was the restroom, lunchroom, copier, printer room, to introduce the new person, help them get supplies and they also were supposed to arrange at least one lunch outing, if possible. Then the new person had someone that they recognized and felt more comfortable later. Of course this didn't always work.. in my case I was replacing a project leader who wasn't being transferred to Orange County and later found out he was going to rehab, so he wasn't real forthcoming, and I was told to get every bit of information I could possibly get since he was THE guru on this rather important system. I've also seen mentoring in volunteer positions. I was mentored when I came into the rape crisis agency and later was able to mentor several people who were very promising and encourage them to expand their duties. We also had a formal supervision set up so that a hotline counsellor always had a senior counsellor on call. I think anyone can be your mentor if it is someone you go to when you are questioning things, or need to bounce ideas off that person.
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Mizinvanccouver
Member
02-22-2003
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 12:55 am
I agree with those who said Abasi's apology wasn't heart felt. I also agree with you Julieboo about Abasi's nastiness when Margarite went to the neighbors and he was basically calling her crazy. Just watched the episode and would love to know/see LaToya's reaction to the way Abasi treated Margarite. Too bad they don't do follow ups after the show to show both families reactions to the televised show.
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 6:06 am
I would find a follow-up interesting as well. My 14 year old son is more of a mature man than Abasi is and I don't think Latoya is all that nice either. She just keeps her mouth shut more. She had plenty to say but when someone disagreed she shut up. I wonder what she would have had to say if anyone had agreed with her about things. I would like to know if they really have to spend the money as designated. Was Margarite's money last time designated for stomach staple surgery? Because that is how it was spent. I absolutely loved how Margarite designated Latoya's money so Abasi didn't get a dime of it. He only did the show for the money and was vicious toward Margarite. He doesn't deserve to even sniff that money. I think Latoya did a good job designating the money for Margarite's family. Ashley says she doesn't need it anyway. What a snot. Latoya didn't have any business involving herself in the dynamic of Margarite's family though in telling Ashley to move out. I would have rather seen her make Ashley take over all household duties; cooking, cleaning, laundry and had Brooke and dad not do anything at all. Maybe she'd have her eyes opened a little but as it is she's still a prima donna. I feel especially sorry for Shach living in that <100> environment and she can't even get away to go to school to see what life is really like. I fear for her future.
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Jodied75
Member
08-26-2004
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 8:13 am
Hey Sunshine, I have someone I always refer to as a mentor, too. I left home when I was 15, and I lived in group homes and was paying rent by 18. Needless to say, I didn't have much discipline about getting myself to school in those years, and moved so often I wound up going to 8 different high schools. I received very good grades, but I never stuck around long enough to earn any credits. I was also kind of treated like a "bad seed", running around making my own rules with the ability to escape parental consequences. How I loved it when a teacher would ask for a note or meeting from my parents, and I could say too bad, I live on my own. I ended up at an alternative school when I was 23 (I still hadn't graduated with a high school diploma), but I was basically going without a real expectation that I would succeed, as I never did in my past. But one of the teachers there (there were only three), saw some potential and kind of took me under his wing. He was hard on me to complete assignments, while at the same time giving a lot of support, like bus tickets and even occasionally getting me a load of groceries. I finally went through all the courses I needed, and graduated at 26. However, even by then I really thought post-secondary school was a bit of a pipe dream. But he convinced me to apply, even paying for my application fees, and I ended up being accepted at three universities. I decided on the University of Toronto so I wouldn't have to move again. Later on, he gave me paying part-time work helping to edit the textbooks he wrote on contract for the Toronto Star. (The Star is a newspaper, but also does other publishing work). He would never really admit to how much he helped me, just being that sort of person who brushes stuff like that off with his extremely sarcastic wit. I always refer to him as my mentor, and people who know me well always know exactly who I am referring to. Sorry for the long personal saga, I just wanted to point out that it is entirely possible for an adult to have a mentor, be it one they had from childhood, or were lucky enough to meet later on in life. There are formal mentors, such as those described above, or informal ones like mine, a person I was extremely lucky to meet after I became an adult.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 11:00 am
Jodi, your mentor sounded like a truly remarkable man. What a gift he was to your life.
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Jasper
Member
09-14-2000
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 12:01 pm
quote:I think anyone can be your mentor if it is someone you go to when you are questioning things, or need to bounce ideas off that person.
Exactly! Having a mentor can be a wonderful thing, my dh has someone whom he deeply respects and considers his mentor. I felt truly sorry for Marg with Abasi's behavior to her. I do remember in the letter from LaToya that it stated in Marg's continuing quest to lose weight, 10K re the marathon. As for the daughter , Ashley she did seem like a bit of a prima donna, but perhaps she is spending her salary on a private education for her daughter and maybe they like her living at home. I don't think LaToya's comments should have been about her moving out but more about her helping out, Brooke is not a maid. And why does Barry need $20K to find work? Isn't there a shortage of housing where they live that would make it a little difficult for Ashley to get set up? Another thing that LaToya strongly objected to was Ashley comparing her situation to that of Ms Jackie, but the way I interpreted what Ashley saying was more about generations of family living under one roof versus the losses that Ms Jackie suffered.
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Catfat
Member
02-27-2002
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 10:53 pm
A young, single mother, kicked out of her parents house just to satisfy the complaints of a guest? Or is that some kind of tough love? Give the girl a break, the parents are content, the daughter is content and the grand-daughter is content. I have seen horrible, disastrous things happen to young women who are forced onto the streets for various reasons. The reasons for Ashley still living at home were not discussed, and I think that is none of Letoya's business. Multi-generation families are usually a way of solving any one of a number of situations. I applaud Marguerite and her husband for keeping the family safe and intact.
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Catfat
Member
02-27-2002
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 10:55 pm
Or what if Ashley married or moved in with someone who treated her the way Abassi treated her mother. I've seen that happen, too.
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 11:25 pm
I would be curious to know how Abasi treats Latoya when the cameras are not around. I also wonder about Shach since I don't think I heard her speak 10 words during the whole two shows. Is she allowed to speak or just a quiet child? Latoya was way out of line telling Ashley she had to move out and it doesn't look like Ashley moved out at all. As long as everyone is happy with the arrangement what difference does it make. My only concern would be for Brooke who seems to be treated as Ashley's maid by Ashley. Brooke is the one who needs to be able to move out asap. Maybe it's just editing. The 'God Warrior' did not deliver as probably expected so they had to create controversy for us somehow?
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Jodied75
Member
08-26-2004
| Monday, January 29, 2007 - 3:11 am
I remember from the first show (the first time with the God Warrior) that Brooke's reclusiveness was an issue. To me, she and the granddaughter were the 'normal' ones of this family. I agree, Chili, that Brooke needs to get out. Catfat, I hardly think Ashley would end up 'on the streets' if she were forced to move out. Even if she were forced to move to a separate abode, I'd bet that she'd have a lot of support from her family. I don't see her as having the potential of becoming a poor, unwed mother trying to survive on her own. I think the women you are referring to come from extremely different circumstances. I do, however, agree that it was none of LaToya's business as to why Ashley was still living there. They seem happy; who is it hurting? LaToya probably has issues of her own as to why she has such strong feelings about Ashley. She likely was forced out on the streets, and may have some stored resentment towards mothers who have all the help and support they need without having to struggle for it. Twiggy, my mentor is indeed an amazing guy, although he'd hate for anyone to mention it. I was very lucky to have him come into my life, and I can't imagine where I'd be now if he hadn't.
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Laneesmom
Member
05-12-2005
| Monday, January 29, 2007 - 8:52 am
Anywhere I can find this on-line..?..i missed it.
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Rehtse
Member
08-17-2005
| Monday, January 29, 2007 - 10:50 am
The only way that I would agree about Ashley moving out (not that my opinion matters) is if her parenting of her child were in some way affected or undermined by living in that household. From what I saw, the child seemed to love and respect Ashley.
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Puzzled
Member
08-27-2001
| Monday, January 29, 2007 - 4:55 pm
Our daughter and her two kids live with us and it's great. Of course, she works, contributes, and is a great help around the house. No one else's business who we decide to live with.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Monday, January 29, 2007 - 7:33 pm
Maybe she wants her daughter to be part of the family. I can understand it from that point of view.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 1:35 am
THX Seamonkey and Jodied for the lowdown on adult mentoring. A topic I know nothing about and freely admit it LOL You know, I've been thinking about the Ashley situation. Now we know she owns and runs a dance studio. We know her young daughter isnt in Every class. Therefore I'll suggest that the grandparents happily babysit most evenings. In a situation involving a single mom I feel the focus is on the happiness and stability of the child. Ashley staying home is the best thing for her daughter. I think Latoya was just not opening her eyes to the situation.
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 1:42 am
I agree, Sunshyne4u. Ashley living with her parents appears to be the best situation for all involved except possibly Brooke. We only know what was shown us but it appeared Ashely thinks Brooke is her personal fetch-it girl. Brooke has never appeared awfully happy anytime they've ever shown her and I wonder if she's being stifled by Ashley's prima donnaness and if she'll ever be allowed to flourish as long as Ashley is there.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 2:38 am
yes Brooke appeared to be kind of forgotten in the previous Infamous God Warrior episode. She seems to have her dad's easygoing personality. I didnt see much of Ashley commanding Brooke to do chores but in the prev. trade, Brooke seemed to be doing most of the Housework etc, while Ashley lounges about.
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 3:13 am
I don't remember a lot about the first 'God Warrior' trade-off but it did seem as though Brooke was the house servant in that one too. In this trade-off Ashley ordered Brooke to make sweet tea. If you don't say 'could you please' and tell me to do something then it's an order IMO. Ashley got up long enough to tell Latoya what to do for the 'girl's luncheon' and then went back to bed without helping but Brooke was in there helping out. It seemed they always showed Ashley napping and Brooke helping out. Since Ashley is grown and has her own child she should be doing half the work around the house. Mr. and Mrs. God Warrior should be making Brooke their number one priority at this point and making Ashley take care of her own stuff IMO. If they don't, they may wake up one day to find Brooke is the one who has flown the coop.
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Rehtse
Member
08-17-2005
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 9:17 am
Since Ashley is grown and has her own child she should be doing half the work around the house. Mr. and Mrs. God Warrior should be making Brooke their number one priority at this point and making Ashley take care of her own stuff IMO. If they don't, they may wake up one day to find Brooke is the one who has flown the coop. I agree. What kind of a role model will that be for Ashley's daughter?
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 2:47 pm
Too bad we didn't realize that January was National Mentoring Month. http://www.mentoring.org Just saw this during a break in Prison Break, which I'm watching on my DVR (aired on Monday).
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 2:52 pm
Remember in part one when Latoya arrived at the airport the husband told her she had traded with The God Warrior and Latoya knew who that was, so she may have been reacting not just to her experience with the family but to her previous viewing of the family. I still think she was completely overdoing the commands to move out.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 3:48 pm
That's true Sea. I agree. He might have been responding to her from previous comments she made in the first show. There could be some creative editing going on, too.
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Jodied75
Member
08-26-2004
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 4:49 pm
Rehtse, why would you say your opinion doesn't matter? Of course it does. Nobody here is superior to anyone else, and the whole point of a forum is to read what other people are thinking about. - your fellow opinionated TVCH-er, Jodie Ashley living with her parents ahouldn't even be such a big issue. Who cares, really? Like I said before, it's certainly not hurting anybody else. Her daughter probably benefits far more with having more family members around than she would from living in a single-parent household. The real issue (IMO) is Ashley's attitude. Other people do not exist to serve her. I agree, Rehtse, she is not being a good role model in the disrespectful way she treats people.
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Rehtse
Member
08-17-2005
| Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 5:29 pm
Thanks, Jodied75. The only reason I mentioned it is because sometimes in this type of living arrangement, the child is being disciplined by a whole bunch of chiefs. One of my employees lived through something like this after her divorce. She would discipline her kids and then her parents would immediately overrule her. Suffice it to say that a power struggle between the parent and adult-child developed. As I stated, I don't see this being an issue between Ashley and her folks. Her daughter seems to behave like a well-mannered child. (I wish all children were well behaved!)
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