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Archive through February 24, 2005

The TVClubHouse: Other Reality Shows ARCHIVES: Archives for 2005-3: WifeSwap: ARCHIVES: Archive through February 24, 2005 users admin

Author Message
Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 8:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
OMG! This is really good tonight. The african american woman is rather headstrong and spoiled and says that she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body. I get the feeling that the fur will fly when "momma" ain't happy. On the plus side for her...she lives in a really nice house and her kids and husband keep it really clean.

Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 8:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Mocha...I'm glad that you are watching too....none of the african american women that I know are QUITE that headstrong....she has some interesting views....

I'm interested in your opinion!

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 8:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
And stereotypes. Why do you want my opinion? Cause I'm a black woman? Lol.

Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 8:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
No....cause you are outspoken and will give me your opinion!

I also have never dated a black man...I've taught lots of black boys/men. I know that these stereotypes don't hold for all the guys...but there are a few I've deat with that are so strong that they perpetuate the stereotype on their own.

I'm liking how this episode is turning out and everyone involved is softening up a bit. NOT liking the yelling in the preview for "after the commercial". We'll see how it plays out.

Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 8:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hmmm...the men are behaving better than the women at the "meeting".

Glad that the couples are solid in their relationships.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 1:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I liked this episode as it seemed like everyone was on the same page when they finally met over the table at the end. Yeah yeah, I know...there was a little anger as the lady had issue with the word 'slave', but that was understandable.

I found the show interesting also when the husband accused the wife of 'racist remarks'. WOW, she didnt like that too much, but then again I cant believe she'd paint all 'black men' as being identical in behaviour.

I think everyone learned something in this episode (maybe even us!)

Oh those five girls were so sweet! Being a blonde with blechy straight hair I am always envious of anyone with beautiful dark curly ringlets!

Scout
Member

01-20-2005

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
You know how all these people keep stressing family time and throwing away the television? Now I know last night's episode was talking about watching tv individually, but they've mentioned that many times on other shows about turning off the tv and spending family time together. Our family loves to spend time together - especially in front of the tv. I think some of our closest times together is when we all gather, get our popcorn, and set down for a night of great (sometimes great, anyway) entertainment.

Llkoolaid
Member

08-01-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ok I am going to ask because I really don't know. Was the woman mad because because she took the word slave as racist or was she mad because the woman didn't like her saying she used her son. I use the word slave all the time, to me I don't mean anything racist, but by the womans reaction I thought that might have been the reason, to me a slave comes in all colours, I use it when I am working my butt off for everyone else and no one is helping and I feel like I am being used. I am asking this because if it is an offensive word to people then I would be embarassed and stop using it.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I think just the use of the word slave set her off.

Marameko
Member

07-15-2002

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    


LL as a woman of color I felt that the word "slave" was offensive to her in that it would lead one to believe that she had mistreated and abused her son.


Max
Member

08-12-2000

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The white wife really, really needs to learn that her word choices are sometimes inappropriate. Using the word "slave" caused all communication to break down (thankfully, only briefly) just as using the N word would have. She had the same problem when she rolled out her rules at the house. She used the same wording then and the older son had a reaction similar to his mom's.

She could have worded it differently and not had the same negative response. She could have said, "you treat your sons like personal servants" and I doubt the response would have been as strong. Communication breaks down when loaded words are used -- unfortunately, I think that the mom was totally oblivious to the effect her words were having.

She had the same problem with the white dad when she rolled out her rules and started by saying that he was a bad role model. He blew up and I don't really blame him. She pretty much emasculated him on national TV and in front of his kids. Her point was lost because of the way she framed it.

Kep421
Member

08-11-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well she used her son as an unpaid servant...as someone who was obligated to do her bidding and she treated her entire family as "subjects" who were supposed to wait on her hand and foot. I think her being offended by the word slave is ludicrious. I wonder if she would have been offended if the other lady told her that she is a lazy, overbearing jerk?

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Marameko good response.

Kep, certain words said to someone who's black is like setting a match to a stick of dynamite. It's not ludicrious, it comes from centuries of being enslaved and continued racism.

Kep421
Member

08-11-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
As a white woman who is married to a black man these past 32 years, I have felt racism from BOTH SIDES, and I still say her anger was a knee jerk reaction to deflect from the actual fact that she treats her family in a shameful manner. And it doesn't matter what word the other mom used or doesn't use, it doesn't change the fact that she used her family especially her son, in a slave like manner.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I agree Kep. I wonder if she was feeling somewhat guilty and got overly defensive....

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well then I'm shocked and saddened that you don't understand.

Thiry18
Member

09-18-2004

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
i may be wrong about this, but didn't doreen tell eric that he treats his wife like a slave?? therfore she was making the same comparison as lashelle was?

Kep421
Member

08-11-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ah...but I do understand Mocha. I understand a lot more than you think I do. I understand that the black mom thinks its ok for her to be racist and make degrading remarks to another person based solely on his race, but no one better use any terms that might be remotely thought of as racist in her presence. If she was that sensitive to racist remarks, she would certainly have been more sensitive to her remarks to the black husband.

No one called her son a slave, it was simply stated that he was being treated as such. She wasn't offended by the word slave, she was transferring the negative attention to the other mom to take the focus off the fact that she in fact treats her son in such a manner. That's it in a nutshell.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I disagree.

Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Stepping very lightly into this discussion, I think everyone here has made very good points.

What I found ironic was that the black wife did use her family as whatever-you-want-to-call-it and the white wife basically called her on the carpet for it. I think the white wife used poor word choice, especially when she knew how the son reacted, but as strong as the black wife's reaction was, maybe she felt some guilt. And I have to wonder if she would have reacted the same way if it has been a black woman who said it.

My previous marriage was interracial (me white/him hispanic) and he will be the first to tell you that he never experienced racism from any member of my family (in fact, they enjoyed learning the culture) while I experienced a great deal from his.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:23 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
You're right Nt, she probably wouldn't have reacted as strongly if it was another black woman saying that. And therein lies the crux. Did the housewife deliberately use the word slave to get that reaction? And yes she had her family wait on her like she was a Queen. Hell I tell my boys to call me Your Highness lol.

Think about it this way, the working mom probably felt comfortable using the term slave etc in front of the black husband because that's just how it is sometimes. It's more comfortable to talk like that around another black person than around another white person. Just something to think about. Not saying it's wrong or right, just that that's the way it is.

Scout
Member

01-20-2005

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
That doesn't make any sense at all to me. If something is derogatory, then it should always be so. It shouldn't matter what color the person is who's saying it. And why does the term "slave" have any color connotation at all? White people were also slaves for centuries, and black people also owned slaves. It's a word and freedom of speech should allow her to use it -especially since I believe she did not use it in a racial way. You can't just start saying white people can't use a term, but black people can.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
<sigh> Ok let me say it this way, it's like black people using the n-word around and to other black people, but it's totally different when a white person uses it around and to a black person. And if that's not understandable then I can't make it any clearer.

Hippyt
Member

06-15-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I don't see anyone saying white people can't use a term.

Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 11:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Yes, I notice that my black students use terms (n-word, etc) with each other and it is quite acceptable. There is NO way I would use these terms with them or anyone else. It is not appropriate for me as a white woman to speak as the black students do to each other.

Mocha....you have your boys call you "your highness"? LOL, I can certainly imagine that!

<Marm wonders if it wasn't Mocha in disguise on WifeSwap...but do to the lack of aubergine, boas and tiaras decides against it!>