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Archive through February 27, 2005

The TVClubHouse: Other Reality Shows ARCHIVES: Archives for 2005-3: WifeSwap: ARCHIVES: Archive through February 27, 2005 users admin

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Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 2:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Fine. FINE!!!

Sure it is confusing that one words or phrase can offend some and not others, but that is the way it is. One word can also offend a certain person just by changing the tone. Confusing, but true. My friend can say the same exact words to me but if my husband and I are going through a rough time, I might get real testy if he says the same words.

I thought it was a good episode in that it turned out well. It seemed both families made positive changes.

It broke my heart to hear the black mom say that she didn't like kids - knowing that her sons would hear that. It still breaks my heart. I'm glad she said that she does like kids at the end of the show.



Llkoolaid
Member

08-01-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 2:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I am more confused than ever, but I do thank those that tried to explain it to me. I hope I didn't offend anyone asking that question. I think I will try to not use the word slave when I feel like one, not because I think I am being offensive to anyone in my family but because I have a young child who when they hear it might use it to someone who would find it offensive, does that make any sense. I guess the white wife should have not used the word when it got such a bad reaction from the son but I think the black mom was just pissed that she commented on the way she treated her son more than her choice of word. Good Lord I don't know. I think I will just shut up.

P.S. Don't any of you point out that my last sentence was my smartest one.



Puzzled
Member

08-27-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 2:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The black Mom was pretty biased herself. She put all black men into one stereotype, and she ignored the fact that the white Mom was married to a black man and her children were half black.

But, IMO, all she saw was White Woman, that she had put into another stereotype. She could have objected without going off. I think she blew up because she knew the other Mom was right.

Auntiemike
Member

09-17-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 2:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
What bothered me the most was how much the Black Mom (I'm sorry, I don't know her name) seemed to push the young girls into thinking that being a mom and wife was not "all that" and that is was less meaningful than being out in the workforce.

Excuse me but I think being a mother to my four wonderful adopted, multi-racial children is the best "job" I can have. I am blessed to be able to stay home and support my husband in so many ways by keeping the home happy and running smoothly.

I just hate it when stay at home mothers are seen as less valuable...IMHO.

Seamonkey
Member

09-07-2000

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Staying at home is definitely not less valuable but with that many little girls the likelihood is that they wouldn't ALL choose that path and their mom was telling them that it was the only path.. being a mom and a stay at home mom. I'd want them to know that they have choices and that no matter which choices they made, they need education and they should be all right with their choices.

Max
Member

08-12-2000

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
At first, I thought that was what she was doing, too, Auntimike. Mostly because that's how she phrased it to the confessional camera. But when I saw her actually having the tea party with the girls, her approach was a lot softer. She didn't tell them being a mom was bad, just that there were lots of other choices, too. I thought it was telling that the one little girl said she didn't know there were other options for girls. I think what the girls came away with was an understanding that they DO have choices, not that any one particular choice was better than another. Of course, it's hard to tell exactly with the little snippet we saw.

I hope also that the black mom came away understanding that just because women have a choice to work outside the home, working inside is equally as important and valuable. I got the impression that she realized that simply because she said she was going to start being more of a mom and she did start being more involved with her family and the chores and such.

In any case, both moms had very polarized views and I think being on the show help each of them move a little more towards the center of the spectrum, which is, IMHO, a good thing. :-)

I cannot imagine being a stay-at-home mom or any other kind of mom, so my hat's off to you and every other mom out there! :-)

Auntiemike
Member

09-17-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Aw gee wiz Max, thanks and it isn't even close to Mother's Day yet.

I do think the little girls will grow up around other women who are seen in different roles and they will be able to see women in the workforce, being successful and doing a good job. I didn't get the feeling they were totally isolated so they can learn from others. They might even, one day, challenge their mother's thinking.

Probably when they are teens!!!

Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
For me, the very best part of the show was those little girls learning there are choices and they can be anything they want to be (a mom, a teacher or even president) and I think the black mom handled it wonderfully. It seems that by being home-schooled these children don't get to see much of the outside world. And that is way more upsetting than an incorrectly chosen word. And it worries me how these girls will respond when they discover that world outside.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I loved how in the end the young girls realized that they could be anything they wanted and not just a housewife. And how the working mom learned to appreciate her family.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
And yes I've used that 'look' and that 'voice' with my kids. And when I'm really getting into the get down my neck moves and finger points.

Seamonkey
Member

09-07-2000

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 3:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LOL!!

Max
Member

08-12-2000

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 4:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I've always wanted to be able to do those neck moves and finger points. Never could get it right! LOL

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 4:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'll teach you one day Max, it's very easy lol.

Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 4:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
You go girl...

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 7:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The doublestandard has always confused me. Is it HOW the words are used or the INTENTION of the words or is it the INTERPRETATION of how the person who HEARS the words... that makes it racist?

I personally think it is in the person who is hearing the words. It is all how you want to perceive it. If someone is touchy about a subject, the most harmless misuse of a word could trigger anger. mind you, often these words are politically incorrect!!

All across Canada and the USA historical places are being renamed. Why you ask? Well, it is 2005 and places named Jap mountain and Squaw Valley are considered offensive. Jap was short for Japanese and Squaw was a real word that just meant woman/wife. WHY are these names being changed? Because people are overly touchy about certain subjects.

((Back on TOPIC! I still liked this show and feel that both families really got to have a good experience. The white wife didnt choose her words as politically correct as she should have. BUT then again, maybe she was trying to shake things up??))



Riviere
Member

09-09-2000

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 12:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Another episode with home schooled kids.. It's no wonder modern education stats already showed the average home schooled kids are behind. Plus it pointed out, again, a sheltered kid doesn't dream of much beyond their parents' world. It was a revelation hearing the girl say she wanted to be a mother and teach her children, but also asked if she thought she could be the President ahe smiled and said, yes!!!

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 1:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I personally think homeschooling does work IF the parent has the ability to be structured and organized. Many people think they are (but truly arent so the kids get left behind).

I know of someone who home schools but the kids are kept active with athletic teams and clubs. They meet up with their friends after the friends get out of school.

The kids are not isolated and controlled the way the Wife Swap families seem to do. But then again, its all in the Editing!! LOL

Scout
Member

01-20-2005

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 4:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I think some of the problem with home-schooling, is that there is no state follow-up in many states. Some require yearly testing, but others don't. There are parents who are teaching who have absolutely no qualifications to do so.
Now I have friends who do home-school, who are qualified, and who have complete lesson plans and set hours. These kids do interact with others and are part of clubs and athletic teams. But what worries me more and more, is that home-schooling is another way to isolate your kids. Religious fanatics, child-abusers, or people who just don't want to be bothered with the scheduling of regular schools now have this accepted reason for keeping the kids at home, and no one is checking up on them. At some point, there is going to be a whole generation of kids, many of whom are not going to be able to get into college because they are not going to be able to pass entrance requirements and also are going to have been so shielded from the real world that they will have only the viewpoint of their parents.


Mistysmoke
Member

08-10-2001

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 6:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I dislike how the show seems to put homeschoolers that isolate themselves, but, dont put the homeschoolers that are very active in thier community.

We have been homeschooling for three years now. We take the standardized tests, and I have my son tested once a year to determine what level he is in with math, reading and spelling. We are in Cub Scouts and Karate, so we keep busy.

Guess I just wanted it to be known that not all homeschoolers are "out there".


Scout
Member

01-20-2005

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 6:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I do think this particular show puts a bad slant on home-schooling by picking extreme families to show. I don't mean to imply that there aren't qualified people who are home-schooling and doing a great job. Sounds like you are one of them, Mistysmoke.
I'm only worried about the children who are kept completely isolated and who aren't getting the kind of education they will need. They don't seem to have anyone who can advocate for them.

Chieko
Member

11-20-2003

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 9:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Why do you homeschool Mistysmoke?

Puzzled
Member

08-27-2001

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 10:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I know a Mom who home schools in New York and her kids get tested each year to make sure that they're at grade level.

She also belongs to a group of homeschoolers that work together and have a lot of expertise amongst them.

Some of the Swap families were just pretending to home school. Those poor kids.

Mistysmoke
Member

08-10-2001

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 10:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Chieko,

There are a couple reasons we homeschool. One big reason is the number of students per teacher. I know that at home, if my son doesnt understand how to add fractions, or doesnt understand how a paragraph is put together, we can slow down and work on it until he does understand it. Or, if he learns his multiplication table, we can move on to something else.

I live in a small farming community in Northern California. In an even smaller community not ten minutes from us, a friend of ours went to pick his eight year old son up from school. He saw his son walk out of the school past some kids. As his son walked by, one kid pulled a knife out and waved it around. The friends son just kept walking to the car. When asked about it, the boy said its an every day thing. This was at an elementary school. So, safety is a concern for me.

There are some things that are my responsibility to explain to my son. I dont think that a school really should decide when my son is ready to discuss sex, or sexual preference. I can talk to my son about sex, about the definition of homosexuality, bisexuality etc. I dont need him going to an assembly about it, as they do where I live. I understand that some parents would rather not talk to thier children about sex, and maybe having the school do it works for them.

More than likely, we will eventually send our son to public school. In fact, if we move, we already have decided to send him. We will determine if its working for him after a semester, and go from there.

I admit, that I had a terrible experience in school, as did my husband. I don't let that cloud my judgement on what is best for my son though. Honestly, we first started homeschooling because my son still wasnt able to write when it was time to start school, and I knew the teachers would have problems with that. Admittedly, his penmanship is awful, but, we work on it. He could have gotten that from either one of his parents LOL.

I keep reading over what I have written, trying to see if Im being clear. It has been a while since anyone has asked me why I homeschool. :-) It actually helps to be asked once in a while, make me evaluate if its working for us. :-)

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 10:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Misty said There are some things that are my responsibility to explain to my son. I dont think that a school really should decide when my son is ready to discuss sex, or sexual preference. I can talk to my son about sex, about the definition of homosexuality, bisexuality etc. I dont need him going to an assembly about it, as they do where I live. I understand that some parents would rather not talk to thier children about sex, and maybe having the school do it works for them.

i have heard this reason for home schooling quite a bit, and this fascinates me. My kids are in 9th and 5th grade and except for the 5th grade 'this is what is happening to your body' talk. (where it's separated boys and girls) I have never had a school talk about sex, homosexuality, condoms ect. Is this common in other schools?



Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Sunday, February 27, 2005 - 7:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Not at any of the three large districts where I taught. And for the "what is happening with your body" talk, the parents are informed of when it is and they can pull their child out if they choose.

I never did teach High School....maybe they do that in health class there.