Author |
Message |
Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Friday, February 11, 2005 - 11:01 pm
wow...if one of my kids had trashed their rooms in anger once, okay; but if it happened again they would have had everything but their bed and 3 or 4 changes of clothes packed up and stored away! there is no way i would clean up a disaster every time they felt like throwing things around. i'd just pack up 'the things'! i learned early on to put them on the bottom stair for time-outs. time-outs in their rooms meant their toys and being away from everyone. being around us but not able to join in, being on the boring bottom stair with nothing to play with...they got bored quick and nice even quicker! when i taught pre-school i gave the kids one minute for each year of their age for time-outs. i was happy to find out jojo thought the same amount of time. i had friends who would give their 2- or 3-year-olds 20 and 30 minute time-outs or say, "wait til your father gets home!"...well, after a few minutes a child can't recall what they are in trouble for and the last thing either a child or father wants is for the father to walk in at night and have to discipline a child for something that happened during the day (which dad didn't witness and the child can't recall anymore!) short and sweet and to the point--that's what time-outs or naughty mats or stools are for. but it does take a willingness to stick with the 'program'. it will work, but it's not always over-night with the success!
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Penpoint
Member
03-27-2001
| Friday, February 11, 2005 - 11:06 pm
Some random thoughts: -- I don't know why I watch this show; I don't have any kids. -- It's really the same thing week after week, a naughty corner or a naughty chair. How long can this show go on? -- There was absolutely no interaction between Jared and his stepfather, or at least none that was shown. Sad. -- Nanny should insist that these fathers remove their baseball caps in the house.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, February 12, 2005 - 7:25 am
I bet you are right Penpoint. I bet these 2 kids shows (SN and N911) don't last long, cuz really they are the same show and they are the same situation every week. Always with young kids and by the end of the show they are behaving better. I would like to see them do a more long term show on some older kids. Or even a longer term show with he current kids. See if the nanny tips are followed and if the problems stop say 6 months down the line...
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Auntiemike
Member
09-17-2001
| Saturday, February 12, 2005 - 11:24 am
Penpoint, my feelings exactly. I have four children, ages 5-13 and I don't find this show particularly helpful nor do I desire to watch parents dysfunction, week after week. Same old, same old......gotta go raise some kids. LOL
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, February 12, 2005 - 11:44 am
I think a lot of people may like to watch it cuz they can see that there are worse kids out there than theirs' and worse parenting skills than their own!
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Saturday, February 12, 2005 - 3:44 pm
so far I've been amused by the parents...and usually how many clothing changes the mom will make cause "she's on tv!!" Raising kids is really about having a routine yet there ARE adults who are unable to organize themselves let alone the kids. Then there are the working parents who are just plain too tired and mentally exhausted to give needed attention to the kids....unless the kids act up! Negative attention is at least ATTENTION! I would prefer to see the parents do some counselling as well as the Supernanny stuff.
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Penpoint
Member
03-27-2001
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 12:03 am
It might be a good idea for people contemplating having children to watch a show like this. They might actually realize that not everyone should have kids. Unfortunately most would probably deny that their children would ever be like these. I guess I'm of the opinion that children shouldn't be brought into this world by parents who don't have the time, money, love, and intelligence needed to raise children.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 7:55 am
Too true penpoint...
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 8:15 am
I think many people don't realize how truly hard parenting is. It's so much easier to give in than discipline. Plus, I think for some reason parents today want to be buddies with their kids and to have their kids like them. I remember reading and article in Time magazine years ago, it made the comment that today parents are so worried about being liked by their kids that they are afraid to parent them.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 8:16 am
Julieboo, I have to say I thought the chart was effective for my first two boys, but around 1st grade, bam, things changed - - fast!! They learned to outsmart me maybe?!! My dd too - they will weigh the consequences, and then do the negative behavior accepting if the consequences!! I'll never forget when ds was in first grade and kicked a girl - it took 2 -3 days to get the story out of him, because he knew the punishment at school was, and he was fine with it... it turns out this girl was always teasing him in line, purposely, he asked what would happen if he kicked someone and got caught the recess lady told him he'd have to stay inside for one recess... the next day he kicked her!! She stopped teasing him! Last night I (unfortunately) told my mom about an incident that happened with dd, mom said "its because you dont spank her enough" I'm telling you they would have to call DCF on me if I "Spanked" enough!! My oldest used to bite, and I tried everything, from 'naughty chairs', time outs, taking away privelges, biting back, once I saw him bite a child, while I was standing there so I smacked him in the mouth, and ds whipped his head back, fell over a toy - causing his mouth to bleed... did that stop the biting? NO!! for me, spanking does NOT work, it is a short term, "I'm bigger than you so I can hit and you cant" fix I usually only catch part of the program, it seems like I watch more of the commercials than I do of the programs, and I agree, these supermoms change their clothes way too much!!
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 11:18 am
LOLTabby! Because our house is so small, almost everything in that room at the time belonged to her sister! (Her sister is older, since there was only room for one kid's clothes, the older sister got the closet because she was old enough to dress herself when our youngest and oldest switched rooms. We have 3 daughters. When room wrecking time came, we still hadn't moved youngest kid's clothes out of the hallway closet.) So it was all her sister's clothes and mostly only sisters toys and books that were pulled out the closet and off the shelves etc. Youngest had most of her toys and books in the family room. Her sister had the top bunk, so at least she couldn't get up the ladder/didn't go up the ladder to her sister's bed! Unfortunately time outs in family areas of the house were made so awful for the rest of us by her screaming and kicking the floor etc. Anyway, that time has passed for our family. After a few room wrecks, we didn't have her do time outs in her room. We did threaten the garage (it's attached) after some period of time of her noisy time outs in the middle of the floor in boring places like the middle of the living room. She never took us up on our "offer" of time outs in the garage. I'm glad...if she'd have screamed as she often did, I would've been afraid the police would've shown up at our door!
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 1:35 pm
wow, i just recalled something my son told me when he was about 9 or 10 years old. the people across the street have 3 boys who were always in trouble-- not with their parents who would laughingly say, "oh, boys will be boys!" or, "those boys!" whenever anything happened--but were always in trouble with the schools or the police department. shooting guns inside the city limits, kicking a teacher when they got too much homework, stealing cars for joyrides, drinking in high school, etc. one day my son came to me and said, "i don't think hunter's parents love him very much." i asked why he thought that and he said, "because he never gets any discipline at home and his parents just laugh when he gets in trouble at school. if they loved him, they would care what he does with his life and care that he is not being a nice person." i guess--to me--what ds said proves the point that kids don't need their parents to be their buddies but responsible, caring, sometimes punishing parents. these parents my son spoke of are also the ones who have the hunting dog who killed our cat a couple of years back and the man wouldn't even have told us except that a lady walking her baby saw the whole thing and which house the man and dog returned to... ds was right--these people don't take responsibility for anything and i'm sure as grown-ups their sons may have difficulty being responsible, too. after all, you do learn at home... the youngest son is the one who put out his foot and tripped my son and my son fell and broke his collar bone. the kid tried to give my son some baseball cards to lie about what happened. two weeks later, he did the same thing to a girl on the block and she also broke her collar bone...her dad was a sheriff's deputy, but he didn't say anything to the boy's parents because they had a gun-dealing business together. we sure were happy when the boys all were old enough to move out of the family house! now we just have to deal with parents who dump their oil and gasoline down the street drains...and the dad works for the state water department! rules are for other people, i guess!
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Sunday, February 13, 2005 - 4:14 pm
Good points poster, expecially Penpoint. Also today parents are so worried about being liked by their kids that they are afraid to parent them I know a lady who had children because she wanted 'unconditional love'. She now has three. The children run wild as there is little discipline. When Mom finally gets angry she really goes off yelling- taking away privileges and banishing kids to their room. Shortly she will relent and let the kids come out and then gives them goodies and extra hugs because 'mommy still loves them' If a child does respond with hugging and talking babytalk (even the ten year old!!) Mom gets angry again and the circle continues. I think this mom wants to be friends with the kids and is truly crushed when they dont listen to her. Oh yeah, this mom also had a horrible upbringing and is very emotially scarred from her childhood. Now she is trying to raise kids..SIGH, what a strange world we live in.
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 6:47 am
Hmmm. People have commented on these nanny shows how it focuses mostly on the toddler age. And many of you have wished Jo would come and help you with your teenagers..... So, I wonder if anyone has advice on when you finally get your mom tucked into bed, and she gets back up again. Now that she's finally tucked back in again, I can finally go to bed. G'night!
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Dar422
Member
08-19-2004
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 12:45 pm
I checked the ABC's Supernanny page last night. Thay are asking for families with children ages infant through teen. Maybe families with teens think their kids are too old for nannies. Personally I wish they would show some kids that are preteens.
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Kep421
Member
08-11-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 12:46 pm
Maybe families with teens don't think their teenagers will listen to nannies... I know mine wouldn't LOL...
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Dar422
Member
08-19-2004
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 12:50 pm
Kep421 you said it better than I did. But it would be interesting to see how Supernanny Jo would handle them.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 1:12 pm
I was thinking about this last night and wondering how her observation of my 15 year old ds would go. He comes home, goes into this room. He comes out at dinner. Will terrorize her for a minute or too, then say we are on her side, go back into his room till 10 and come out and kiss me goodnight!
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 6:59 pm
ROTFL I think that the parents with Teens dont want to be embarrassed on National TV!!! Lets face it...dont we really think that bad behaviour is ultimately the Parent's fault?? Oh, I am probably going to get everyone Mad at me but....like they say, there is no such thing is a bad dog just bad owners. That kinda goes for kids too. I dont think any kid is a bad kid...misdirected maybe...but not evil!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 7:55 pm
lordy, i either need to learn to type or proof read!!!! terrorize his sister!!!! I think it's totally the parents. Now, I do think how the child reacts to discipline is their nature. Some kids accept no without a challenge. My ds was like that. I couldn't figure out why parents couldn't control their children. You just told them NO! sheesh really. Well, God decided to wipe that smug look off my face and gave me my daughter!!! No was not a word in her vocabulary to be accepted without a fight!!! Everything was a (and still is to some degree) battle with her. Same parents, same discipline techniques, but if you only knew my daughter, you would think I was the world's worst parent.
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Bluejaxrock
Member
04-23-2004
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 9:08 pm
Tex, my two girls are not only 13 years apart, but polar opposites, lol. The college freshman is dark-haired, has beautiful brown eyes, porcelain-skin, is even-tempered (usually), non-athletic (ok, klutzy), was easily disciplined (swatted once for walking into the street just to defy me) and overall an easy-to-raise child. My kindergartner, on the other hand, is a blond-haired, blue-eyed, rough-and-tumble tomboy who prefers HotWheels to dolls, and wants to debate everything she is asked to do/not do-basically one big handful...lol. I have to do the discipline thing differently with my younger one-partly because the same things don't work on her and partly because I'm older and am choosier about what battles I want to fight. The bottom-line with me was/is always consistency and no empty threats. My girls get 3 strikes and they're out...no discussion...I love you but I'm not liking you right now type thing. And every time I had to take something away from them (TV, phone, etc.) I remembered that when I grounded them I was also grounding myself, and I'd ask myself if I could take x number of days of them moping around. lol
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Jodied75
Member
08-26-2004
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 10:44 pm
I love Supernanny, but one thing remained unresolved for me in this episode. Jo tries to teach the boy how to play with others, and it looked so simple: "When so-and-so is finished playing with that, you can ask politely to play with it. And when you're finished playing with this, you can give it to so-and-so to play with." I've tried this many times with this one boy I take care of, but inevitably it goes back to him yelling "Mine!" and yanking the toy out of the other child's hand. It didn't miraculously work like it did for Jo. lol The boy that I care for has a single mother who has taken no measures to socialize her son properly. He's nearly four, an only child and only sees his mother and his caretakers. I've tried to acquaint him with other children I care for. So how do I teach him to play with others?
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 10:50 pm
Well, I'm no expert. But I've handled individual spats with, "if you can't share, nobody gets it." So, if the kid can't share the toy, I take it and put it up. The possessive kid then has a choice of either sharing, or not playing with the toy at all. Doesn't mean it works for everyone. And since I have no kids of my own, it could be I was doing it all wrong at the time.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Wednesday, February 16, 2005 - 12:14 am
depends if the toy in question is the boy's. If he has brought it from home he may be afraid it will be taken away. I hate to say it but many parents will not try and train their kids. This single mom may take each toy away from the young boy when he misbehaves. I know of a young girl's Mom who took EVERY toy away as a punishment for not listening. The young girl got so used to having to give up her toys she was amazingly possessive when she'd be given a new toy. AH.....I think it might be best not to try to train other people's kids. We really dont know what kind of homelife he has. If he feels rejected in your house he might be affected. JUST a theory
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Wednesday, February 16, 2005 - 12:44 am
Well, you don't need to train other people's kids. But you have every right to say, "these are the rules in my house." And if it is a toy he brought from home, then you put it up and give it back to the mother when she comes to pick him up. If his mother goes by the "its his toy, he can do what he wants with it" theory, then you just say, "ok, then we have plenty of toys in the house to play with, I'd prefer you not bring any from home." Again, not presented as a suggestion by an expert, just a way I would try, if nothing else. Slightly related, but not the same scenario. I remember a neighbor boy who was showing off his new toy rifle. Some very fancy and expensive thing. For whatever reason, he ended up hauling off and clubbing my sister over the shoulder with it, raising a very nasty welt. I can still remember the screaming pain my sister was in, and how I was so livid I wanted to strangle the little brat (I was a rather protective big sis). Anyway, thankfully a higher power took over me as I went out to confront the boy. I took the rifle, and told him if he wanted it back, he could send his mother over to retrieve it. A week went by, and nobody came. So I went over to their house to give it back, and explain why I had it. I remember his mother going, "oh, I was wondering where that went. He told me he didn't know where it was.....oh Steeeeeevie!" She made him come down from his room and apologize to my sister. And I'm guessing his mom put that rifle up for a very long time.
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