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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 10:47 am
Luvmy--THANK YOU so much!!! Wow! I just cannot believe how hard and how fast Tana fell (jumped) off of the pedestal I had her on. I liked her sooo much, even when she was bedazzler crazy. Even when she went to bed leaving Kendra to finish the brochure herself and even when she didn't help defend Kendra against meanie Craig... She was fine til the last few episodes and now what I see of her is awful.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 10:57 am
Thanks Luv!! She is really acting dumb! I bet her Mary Kay sales go down after the way she is acting now!
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Luvmykitties
Member
01-02-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 11:01 am
According to my online guide, I'm pretty sure that this episode replays on CNBC on Monday 7pm Eastern. I missed the beginning of the show so not sure who the other guests were, but I do believe it was Ted Danson. Try to catch it if you can. Watching Conan's reactions was pretty funny. Plus, there was more to the interview than what I transcribed. I only gave the jaw dropping portion.
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Luvmykitties
Member
01-02-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 11:09 am
even VH1's Best Week Ever did a goof on Tana and the Bedazzler. (they did a segment on Reality TV Yearbook)
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 11:37 am
I agree Luv - Tana was over the top on Conan. I was going to transcribe it too, but you did it for us. If only you had done the "rapper" parts too. She believes she is brown deep down, because she knows the song "Get Low" by Lil Jon, and I'm sure the only reason she knows that, is that she Googled Lil Jon (when she found out he was one of the celebrities on the task) and that was what popped up. Some of the combinations of forshizzle, posse, in the CRIB and stuff were soooooo farsical. She came off as so ignorant. She was blurting out non-sequitur hip-hop words like a white Dave Chappelle with Tourettes. I was so embarrassed for her. If anyone can rewatch the show when MSNBC runs it, I totally recommend it. She is on in the last 20 minutes of the show.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 11:52 am
LOL! I LOVE that transcription, Luvmy! Thank you for it. I will definitely have to try to see the rerun of that episode. And I love this description: "She was blurting out non-sequitur hip-hop words like a white Dave Chappelle with Tourettes." It makes me want to see it even more. Maybe when/if Dave comes back for Season Three, they can do the race draft skit again and Tana can get drafted as Black!
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Jimmer
Member
08-30-2000
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:10 pm
I agree Tish. I'm LOL Luvmy and Eeyore. You're funnier than the show. I can't believe or understand why Tana is doing this and how she possibly sees it helping her future????????
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Luvmykitties
Member
01-02-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:23 pm
LOL Eeyore. That was a good summary. Something about she doesn't drink because the "trucker" in her comes out. (I think that's what she says) she said if she gets a little alcohol in her, you'd think she runs with Lil John and his cribs, brothers, and posse. (she runs with his house?) I'd hate to see what she's like when she drinks... Oh - and her husband is a storm chaser and she and the kids go with him.
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Luvmykitties
Member
01-02-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:28 pm
Well Jimmer - to quote Tana; she's "keeping it real".

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Dingy_diva
Member
07-23-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:41 pm
*jaw drops* WOW Tana really changed from what I thought of her in the beginning. I just don't get it. Like she has a split personality or something. Weird. I would not be at all surprised if MaryKay were to pull her beauty consultant rights to sell their products. They are VERY much into God first, family second then job. Image is huge! It's like a religious cult in some fashion with the way they push God all the time. (I know I sold for a while...sales meetings were almost full fledged revivals!)LOL I don't think her throwing a$$, the b words and F words will get her a pink caddy, I'm sure Mary Kay Ash is spinning in her grave right now.LOL
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Pixieduster
Member
09-27-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 12:54 pm
So...now Tana's trying to be the white Omarosa? This season's reality show person who's over the top and just plain bad (or bad a**). During her clips throughout the season, I always had a sense of her rough edges, but she brought them into full-out focus on the last challenge and the finale. Her little red-feather boa sweater was just camouflage.
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Ketchuplover
Member
08-30-2000
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 1:15 pm
I think she joined the Britney career suicide tour. "Can you handle my truth Mr. Trump?" -Tana "hmmmmmm let's see. I have enough money to buy your whole town. So yeah I think I can handle your truth"-Trump
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Dalm_dad
Member
07-06-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 1:23 pm
Anyone know about this Marykay stuff. Tana said she did not have one of the Caddys. Do they give them to their top sellers? Isn't she supposed to be one of their top sellers? Any ideas? Dalm.
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 1:43 pm
OK here's a pic of Tana pointing at Conan. It's not the greatest of screen caps, but you get the idea.
I also tried to do the last half of the conversation. My color choice isn't as appealing as purple and aqua, but you guys get the drift. OK here's something I want to ask you about. I wanna ask you about the fact that on one of your episodes involved you working with rappers. And and and you...don't seem like the type, but out of nowhere you started bringing out the forshizzle speak. And I was wondering, was that something that was and act, or were you channeling this stuff? Oh my gosh no. That's the--I listen to hip hop. I love the music; I know I don't look like a hip hop freak, but I am. I love the stuff; I know every word to every song, and when I had the opportunity to be around these rap stars, it's just like it came out of me. I don't know where it came from, 'cuz I never read the Dummies for Learnin' the Lingo of Hip Hop; it just came to me, and I was working it and I got crunkdified in Little [sic] Jon's crib. You know what I'm sayin'? And I mean he's got a great crunk juice out there that is just to die for. You throw a --well it's actually crunk, but when you throw the Hennessey in it becomes crunk juice-- we never did that but.... It was a, he was a, it was awesome (AUDIENCE IS LAUGHING and CONAN IS JUST STARING AT HER PENSIVELY) What's so funny?
I think there are a few reasons things didn't work out last night. You can't me talking about Hennessy and the crunks and sisschizzle with Mr. Trump! I call him Mr Trump because I have a lot of respect for him. (salutes Trump) There's a lot of um...I have a question to ask you, and I realize I'm losing my mind...on the episode, you guys all live in the loft together... Yes. Am I wrong or is there a lot of booze in that loft?It just feels like there's wall-to-wall booze; there's booze everywhere. Well it's got a beautiful bar. But there isn't a lot, but there's a fully stocked bar, absolutely, and the refrigerator is filled with beer, wine and what not, and I tried to typically stay away from all the alcohol; I didn't wanna start gettin' loose lips. A couple of these in me (does a drink gesture) (laughing) Well yeah, you wouldn't want to start saying crazy things. I wouldn't want to start speaking my mind and all that. Could you imagine you if you were all drunk and aaarrrghgraaaarrrgh (sp?)!!! Oh hey!! The trucker in me starts to come out! Right good lord. My brother gave me one advice and that was 'keep the trucker parked in the garage', so when I get a little alcohol in me and start to loosen things up and stuff starts to come out and you really think I was you know, running with Little Jon and his crin and all his brothers and posse and what not and uh...So I kept it real and stayed away from the stuff. Good. So you stayed clean, you stayed true. Yes, yes. Street cred. Chip-chop, flip-flop. You got it! I know the lingo too you know. I grew up in the suburbs of Boston. Oh I grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia! Oh yes. And then you moved. Oh I want to talk about this, you moved because of your husband, he's a storm chaser? Absolutely. He's one of the best meteorologists in the world. Now he chases tornadoes? Yes he does. Do you go with him? Yes I have. So it's you and your husband-- And the two kids. --and the two kids, chasing the tornado, with hard-core rap blaring in the minivan?! Oh no. We don't do that! (Conan does this sort of thug impression, with shoulders up, and arms folded across himself) Oh yeah! How low!! Get low!! No we don't do that. We have to keep the music off because he's gotta be in tune with the radar and all that. they talk about storm chasing. she mentions that it's not a minivan, but an Avalanche. Did you just get a plug in for Avalanche? Oh no, but hey, I'll take a free one if they give it to me!! I'd be plugging Pontiac, but we don't wanna go there now, do we? Good lord! I'm glad you didn't have a drink in you tonight!! Cause you'd have gotten in my face and said some stuff!! They talk about what she's going to do, go on selling Mary Kay and Conan sort of mocks it. Don't bust on Mary Kay! I will not BUST on Mary Kay. I will not get in your grill about anything. And I've got a children's book that I wrote. she grabs his hand You just crushed my hand!! I did not! I've got a children's book I want to give to you for your daughter. Oh thank you very much! I wrote and self-published a book called "I'm bigger than this", and you can get it on my website, but I'm givin' YOU one tonight. Wow. It's a gift, AND a plug for you. Incredible. At hateTana-dot-com! Can you believe it!! Yeah I can. Tana Goertz. Mudvayne coming up. Did anyone else get the impression that Conan didn't like Tana? Towards the end when she mentioned the hate-Tana-dot-com thing, I really felt it. I think Conan is friends with Trump, and got pretty tired of Tana's personality.
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Bonzacat
Member
07-08-2003
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 1:49 pm
Pssst... Eyeore - GREAT summary and thank you for taking all that time for everyone! And I think her website is HeyTana.com, not "hate Tana". 
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Luvmykitties
Member
01-02-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 1:52 pm
it's http://www.heytana.com/ not hatetana LOL Great job Eyeore!!
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 1:55 pm
HAHAHA!! I guess one could say it was a Freudian slip. I heard what I wanted to hear....
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 2:09 pm
LOL great job Eeyore!!!! Tana is bananas!
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Buggles
Member
09-07-2002
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 2:33 pm
Wow, thanks for the recaps ROTFL .. So I suppose no one here is on the Hey Tana! Team http://www.heytana.com/Store/TanaTee.htm 
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Luvmykitties
Member
01-02-2004
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 2:40 pm
hey - I don't see any Bedazzles on that shirt - or an option to have them added 
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 2:51 pm
I wonder if you join the Hey Tana team, the insults are free.
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Buggles
Member
09-07-2002
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 3:05 pm
yeh too bad Conan's homies didnt find bedazzled hey tana shirts under their chairs... another missed opportunity <sigh> 
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Buggles
Member
09-07-2002
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 3:08 pm
also i think it might be better if the shirts said Yo Tana!
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 4:12 pm
Do you think Tana is going to write a rap "joint" called "Straight Outta Bala Cynwyd"? Or maybe "Straight Outta Bryn Mawr" would be better. I'd love to hear doggin' the five-oh for giving her jaywalking tickets when she raps tauntingly on "Darn Tha Police!" (with guest rapper Will Smith). On her second CD, "Fear of a Suburban Planet," she will lament her inability to get a pink Caddy on the song "Mary Kay's a Joke" and then, on her duet with Lil Kim, who she will annoyingly refer to as "Little Kim," she will yammer endlessly about the traumas associated with Mom Jeans.
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 5:05 pm
oh good grief ... she's not brown, and we don't want her ...
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