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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 7:23 am
It sounds like she wants other people to share in the burden of knowing what she does. I think the family member who wants to know the details needs to ask him/herself how will it benefit me or him to know the details? will by knowing make me more or less supportive? will by knowing change my relationship with my nieces and nephews?
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 10:27 am
I can tell my dh anything and tell him to keep it btwn us and he would. Can you tell your DH just to ease his curiosity and then expect him to just drop it?
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 11:12 am
Your parents should mind their own business, especially for the sake of their grandchildren. It seems very immature to me.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 11:18 am
I totally agree with Escapee.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 11:22 am
Also, if they are going to try counseling, they want it to work out. Your parents should support that, again, for the sake of the children.
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Rissa
Member
03-19-2006
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 12:31 pm
My parents are supporting counselling, in fact that is one of the reasons there is hostility towards SIL's family. My parents feel that until it's over you keep trying while SIL's parents seem bent on manipulating a better divorce even though it is counter-productive to reconciliation attempts. For (just one) example, SIL moved out months ago and my brother has been raising their two boys on his own. SIL's parents have told their daughter that leaving the marital home was a big mistake so they make her come over once a day to do things like pick up some dishes or laundry. It's like a game to them, very disapointing after all these years (bro/sil have been married 20 years). My question was more of a general one of how you handle personal information like this within a family. Once my parents were made aware i think they have reacted the same way any concerned parents would. The mistake was my brother telling them the details in the first place (IMO). Not sure why that makes them immature, perhaps I miss your point?
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 1:47 pm
Rissa I sent you a PM. Not about your question but about something else. No need to respond if you don't want to. Just sharing some info that might come in handy in the future.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Saturday, August 21, 2010 - 4:21 pm
Rissa, I confided in my mother many times. I knew I could trust her confidence and welcomed her advice. I miss being able to confide in her all the time. I don't blame your brother for coming to her. Your mom should have respected his confidence.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 8:32 am
Question -- re English, writing, word usage, etc. I am just starting to read Ken Follet's Pillars of the Earth. Is this some kind of writing / content error by Ken: "He was quite young, somewhere between twenty and thirty years of age . . . ." This is medieval times in England. Average life expectancy was thirty years. So young at 20 - 30? I don't think so. It's fiction, so is author allowed to say that because 20 - 30 is young for today's times. By saying that, that infers the character has a lot of years to live in his normal life. But he doesn't -- it's medieval times. In the next sentence, he writes "the old women . . . ." Late 20s? How does something like that work in fiction writing?
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 9:17 am
Rissa, I think the specifics should be kept between the couple. If the marriage doesn't survive, I still think the specifics should be kept between the couple. Your mother got only your brother's version. Even if your SIL would agree with the basics of whatever happened, there are usually differing opinions/feelings/reasons etc. Everyone has their own truth. I also think that if it is going to cause a problem for you and your husband, you should tell him the info. I know you feel strongly about not sharing that info. But it's really up to everyone to deal with that info as responsible adults and not do anything to hurt the kids (all the kids) in anyway no matter what the adults (your bro and SIL) did. But also, it's not good to create problems with your spouse either.
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Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 11:55 am
Color, I think the life expectancy for the poorest was 30ish, mostly because of disease and malnutrition. If you were more well-to-do, or even simply worked for those who were more well-to-do, like farmers, cooks, maids, etc. your life expectancy would be considerably more. So I think 20-30 would still be called young, but 30-40 would be well into middle age, so I think "the old women" would be late 30s or older. Just my guess though really.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 1:48 pm
I found one web site that said 30 was average life expectancy. So I have a hard time with 20 - 30 being "quite young". He's a thief (one time?) who's going to be hung. Other people in the community don't know anything about him, so there's little description of the character. Normally I don't catch things like that, but that jumped out at me. Really bothers me. Friend who reads a lot said you can say anything in fiction. But writing a historical novel, don't you have to keep some things real / factual?
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Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 2:04 pm
Remember "average" includes all those kids who die, and there would be a very high percentage of them even in the richer echelons, because of lack of good medical care. Also as there were a lot more poor than non-poor, that skews the average lifespan down. I don't think the writer is that far out in their descriptions, but I can see why it might niggle!
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 6:51 pm
Friend who reads a lot said you can say anything in fiction. But writing a historical novel, don't you have to keep some things real / factual? Nope, cuz it's FICTION. Even if it's based on historical events.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 7:09 pm
So in Follet saying the character was "quite young" at 20 - 30, that would infer that old age would be, say, maybe 70 - 75? And that's OK even though general medieval life expectancy was 30. I have such a hard time with that. Thanks, every body.
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Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 8:03 pm
I would say medieval old age is late 40s up. I'd guess only the rich and very lucky (i.e. didn't meet anyone with any diseases) would live to 60. If he's talking about people in their 70s, unless they're nobility I'd say he's just a better fiction writer than historian ;).
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, August 26, 2010 - 6:42 am
http://michaelhyatt.com/the-future-of-publishing.html
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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Thursday, September 02, 2010 - 6:49 am
Nothin' much -- just FIRE FIRE! No. Well? I'm in a condo building. About 9:00 a.m. the fire alarm started going. Everyone runs outside. NOT. It just goes off when it feels like it. Not this time though. Could smell a little odd smokey smell in the hallway. Someone said whatever was two floor above me. Alarm was finally turned off after 25 minutes of that loud "bzzt bzzt bzzt - bzzt bzzt bzzt". All fire trucks were gone after 45 minutes. There must have been something, but not much. Aaaaaah. Peace and quite again.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Thursday, September 02, 2010 - 10:43 am
Glad your okay ((Colour))!
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Friday, September 03, 2010 - 12:18 pm
CHRISTMAS idea! Yes, it's just around the corner. These "Sing-A-Ma-Jigs" are SO hysterical. I'm grabbing 2 for Abby and Madi. Their Momma and Daddy played with them at Toys R Us last week and said you absolutely can not stop laughing! There is a video demo on the page...omg, so funny! http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4081966
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Friday, September 03, 2010 - 12:25 pm
Huk'd, not too soon for Christmas! I was just pondering Christmas gifts earlier. Yesterday I went to pick Caleb up from school. First time I'd actually been inside the school and as I stood there waiting for him, I thought this is the strangest place, they had Christmas music coming through the speakers in the hallways. Very weird. I stood there for several minutes listening and thinking how odd it was, Christmas music, in September! And then someone opened a door across the hall and I saw the schools choir practicing for what I'm guessing is their Christmas show, lol. I felt like a dummy, lol.
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Panda
Member
07-15-2005
| Friday, September 03, 2010 - 1:04 pm
We got a blue Sing-A-Ma-Jig for my little one's birthday, it is so funny, I love the voice when it says "Hel-lo"...we need to get another one so they can sing in harmony! I have been thinking about Xmas too! I want to get my boys pillow pets! (and other things, too but I thought it would be a cute thing to have one for each under the tree) My 4 yr old said he likes the panda one .
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Friday, September 03, 2010 - 1:05 pm
Panda, do you know if different colors sing in different tones, like the yellow is bass, one is soprano, or what? I don't want to pick out the wrong ones for my girlies!
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Panda
Member
07-15-2005
| Friday, September 03, 2010 - 1:46 pm
No, I don't know! We just saw it on the shelf in Walmart and picked one out!
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Friday, September 03, 2010 - 2:02 pm
O.k., thanks anyway! I'm heading out to get me a couple of 'em!
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