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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 12:10 pm
Actually depending on your area, you might be surprised at how many don't pass. Since you have to pass all portions of the TAKS to move on, many areas run serious summer school sessions to get these kids to pass one of the summer retakes.
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Dfennessey
Member
07-25-2004
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 12:30 pm
Ladytex my father always took time off from work when it came to school stuff we did not have 8th grade graduation but when it came to plays, Parent/Teacher confrences he was right there with my mother. He was also active with little league cub scouts/boy scouts. My cousins son asked me once if my father and myself ever had a father/daughter night and I answered him "Of course we did, we always went to a father/daughter dance"
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 12:56 pm
It depends on the event here. When I worked, I always took time off for the school stuff and drs appts, but the kids school and drs office was right down the street from my job too so I was only gone a short time. With Darren working out of town, he can't always take time off. If it's something like an awards assembly or regular drs appts, he won't take off because by the time he gets back to work he'll have missed several days. He does take off half days for things like the 8th grade graduation and serious dr appts and of course the school schedules a lot of things (open house, parent teacher conferences, concerts, etc) for in the evenings. He also makes it to most the kids performances, track meets (Caleb,) and softball (games and practices) with Kota, though misses some sometimes cuz of school. For most of the time the kids were in preschool and Caleb's year in kindergarten, Darren was home during the day and did all the volunteering in the kids classes. We always tried, if it wasn't Darren or I, to have someone there for the kids. Dakota's last year of preschool Darren went back to working days. And the preschool class had a daddy and me day, dads were invited to come for lunch and a project, really big deal because for the most part the dads didn't usually get to do that stuff. Darren, for whatever reason, couldn't take the day off work, so my bil offered to go. Dakota was so tickled to show off her uncle, lol, and bil enjoyed it (he still keeps the pic they took that day of the two of them in his toolbox.) It's important to be there when you can, but really it's just fun. It also works out well with all of us living close by cuz it's nothing for one of the nieces or nephews (or Caleb or Kota to call one of the other aunts/uncles) to call and say, "Hey, I've got this thing at school..." Or to turn around and see someone or other (grandpa, aunt, cousins) show up at whatevers going on. Heck, last night my aunt's neighbor showed up at the girls game, lol.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 1:01 pm
really, LT? 8th grade? I know TAKS/TEKS (whatever the hell we call it now! LOL )effects things, I just didn't realize it prevented many from being promoted.
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 1:08 pm
Unless your risking your job you should be at your son's graduation, Sia. He won't necessarily remember or thank you for being there, but he will definitely remember and blame you for not being there. You'll hear about it for a LONG time. It's an important rite of passage (it is where I come from), and his first real accomplishment in life I'd think. Isn't he your oldest? My older brother was a real hole when he was a teenager and he has turned into a stellar human being and a loving son (although he didn't cuss like that at my mother - he would be dead). ETA attending is one thing, but he shouldn't be rewarded in light of his bad behavior so the no gift thing certainly works for me.
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 1:38 pm
agreed with your ETA GAL Texannie, yep 5th, 8th, 12th grades must pass TAKS to be promoted.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 1:42 pm
i know they must, but except for the 12 graders, I didn't realize it was a big issue with kids not.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 6:55 pm
We just had our PTSA meeting to finish plans for the 8th grade grad stuff. Im as excited as the kids! We got every grad a fortune cookie with a special positive message inside. The dance is like a mini prom, with food, fancy chocolate fountains, pics, etc. A bunch of us plan to be at school to help prepare. The Saturday after grad Dylan and his bff are throwing a party (well me and my friend are 75-100 kids will prolly be here. Then we are going to San Diego for his gift, weekend of fun and sun. 
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2010 - 7:13 pm
Oooh, that sounds like a great time, Pamy. Hope you all have a blast.
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Sia
Member
03-10-2002
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 10:04 am
I've forewarned my son that I don't intend to attend his "graduation" on Saturday. His crappy attitude and treatment of me (yes, he still has all his teeth--although my mother slapped me hard enough to make my glasses fly across the room the ONE and ONLY time I ever called her a b!+ch when I was a teen!) makes me not want to go. My husband will be there, our 6th-grade daughter will be there, and my husband's grown daughter will be there. My parents will probably be there. Isn't that enough? That, and the fact that I can't smile and shake hands with the director of the school who will probably give my daughter failing grades in both math and language--because DD simply won't turn in her assignments. Also, I need to be at the meeting to tell those people that I resent the PR job being dumped in my lap last year. This is my fourth job as secretary, and I'm fine with taking minutes and typing/distributing them, typing and distributing newsletters, etc. I'm NOT fine with having to write press releases, because nobody gets back to me with current information and I'm freaked out about having things in print that are incorrect. I'm really not good with deadlines and don't even know right now if I made the deadline or not for this week's newspaper with the press release I was forced to write. I'm frustrated, depressed, and not accomplishing anything lately. I feel bad about myself and having the added pressure isn't helping my situation.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 10:19 am
Girl, one word: RESIGN!!! (As in resign the position, not resign yourself to your lot in life!)
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 11:08 am
<That, and the fact that I can't smile and shake hands with the director of the school who will probably give my daughter failing grades in both math and language--because DD simply won't turn in her assignments.> Ummm Sia, why do you have hard feelings toward the school director? What's going to happen to your daughter for not complying is simply the consequence for her (lack of) action. Maybe it will be a good lesson for her to learn but your showing resentment/hard feelings to the director is not a good lesson. That's projecting blame on the wrong person. JMO
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 11:18 am
I agree Holly (unless there is more to the story). With respect to the rest. Wow. I just don't know what to say (and that is rare for me). I hope you find a way to make things better, Sia.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 12:02 pm
Sia, I am so sorry you are feeling depressed and under pressure. I so wish you felt better. In re to your post: " My husband will be there, our 6th-grade daughter will be there, and my husband's grown daughter will be there. My parents will probably be there. Isn't that enough?" I mean this in the kindest and gentlest of ways...my answer is No, that isn't enough because it isn't enough unless you are there. I know you already talked to your son about it. But you can talk to him again and say you changed your mind even though you are still hurt and his treatment of you is not something you condone. You can tell those people at work what you need to tell them w/o being there in person. Re: "That, and the fact that I can't smile and shake hands with the director of the school who will probably give my daughter failing grades in both math and language--because DD simply won't turn in her assignments." That does not really have to do with your son or his graduation. I know it is a very small school. Whether the reason why you can't interact with the principal is because you are upset with him (and you didn't say that in your post) or some other reason such as being embarrassed because your dd didn't turn her stuff in (I've been there)...it still doesn't have anything to do with your son or his grad. (Re: if you are feeling embarrassed because your dd isn't turning in her work...like I said, I've been there. But you have to realize she is old enough and she makes the choice herself and it is all on her and not a reflection on you. And it is hard to realize/feel that way sometimes...easier said than done...I know .) Anyway, again...Sia, I'm sorry you are having a tough time and I hope my post comes across in a kind and gentle tone. (((Sia)))
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 12:11 pm
sia, I kind of understand where you are coming from. One of the hardest things for me to do as a parent is not be punitive when one of my kids hurts my feelings. When they hurt my feelings, I want them to know it, and I do think it's important for them to know when they do, but I also tend to carry a grudge. I have to work on that because they also need to know that I will always love and support them.
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Northstar
Member
09-29-2008
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 12:25 pm
There are FOUR separate issues here - graduation, cursing a mother, failing in school daughter and a job/duty. You're co-mingling and the result is your son is getting the short end of the stick. First and foremost, the reason for you to go is because he's your son. Secondly, he's a kid who has reached a milestone and it should be recognized FULLY by his loved ones. Deal with the rest of it one issue at a time and on their own merit. Write a summary for the meeting and have someone present it on your behalf. There is NO reason in the world to not acknowledge this once in a life time milestone. So, set the rest aside and tell him you're proud of him. He'll never forget it...ever.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 12:25 pm
I think graduation, a once in a lifetime event, is the wrong place to make a stand. You can't ever make it right. Problems as deep as this have taken a lifetime to develop. A single face-slapping incident (figuratively or literally) won't fix them; and will likely only worsen them. He graduated, that's the only reason there needs to be for you to be there. Period.
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 12:55 pm
Agreed. This is one thing he won't forget. Nothing makes up for mother being there (or not). I don't know how many of my kids friends come up to me later (my kids are all grown) and tell me that they were envious of my kids because I was at all of their events. I've been angry with my kids, but just like words, missing important events punitively you can't take back. Your punishment of him for his behaviour (and yes, I think there should be some sort of punishment) should be totally separate from your attendance. Your issues with your daughter should be just that, issues with your daughter. Why should your son suffer because she won't do what she's supposed to do?
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 1:06 pm
Re-organize priorities, ASAP.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 1:56 pm
Agree with the masses. Your son may be a beligerant little snot right now and has some lessons to learn about proper conduct, but his graduation is an accomplishment. I also wouldn't tie in a punishment for one thing with something that should be a positive experience for him. ...That, and the fact that I can't smile and shake hands with the director of the school who will probably give my daughter failing grades in both math and language--because DD simply won't turn in her assignments... So your daughter should pass even though she didn't do what was expected of her? It's good at this age that she has the opportunity to correct her errors. Turning in assignments is nothing compared with what will be expected of her as an adult. And finally, about the job. If you can afford to lose your job, then feel free to make a stink. I know there aren't any jobs around this neck of the woods, and so if that's your case where you live, I'd swallow a whole lot of "I don't like the way things are done" before I'd lose my job!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 2:07 pm
Honestly, IMO it is not enough for his Dad and sisters and grandparents to be there. Try to find a way for you to want to go to the graduation. I assume you love your son. Go because you want to be there for him and don't have any regrets. The other issues should be separate.
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Stormie
Member
03-01-2007
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 2:22 pm
I'm sorry you are going through so much. Can't there be other consequences for his bad behavior, though, bc somewhere in the future, the only thing he may remember from the graduation, is you not being there. As hard as things are for you, you should go, the fact that he's graduation is in and of itself something positive.
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 3:05 pm
We had a "continuation" ceremony between Jr. High and HS. This many years removed, there's only one thing I remember about it. We'd been told ahead of time one presenter would give out the boy's "diploma's" and the other would give out the girl's. As I went on stage to get my "diploma," the fellow who was assigned the boy's diplomas looked me square in the eye and held out his hand for a handshake. Even though I knew he was the wrong person, I dutifully responded. He then waved me on to the other guy. This many years removed, what I remember more than anything is my Mom ridiculing me for going up to the wrong person. She laughed and made fun of me for days after. I can remember thinking, "yea, ok I get it. I made a fool of myself. Enough is enough." The whole family did attend my HS graduation. I barely remember anything from that one, except it was terribly windy and we had to hold on to our caps so they didn't blow away. LOL. Long story short, unfortunately its sometimes the negative memories that leave a lasting impression in one's mind.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 3:25 pm
Stormie, that's beautifully said. ITA. Sia, IF you decide to go, that tells your son, (who KNOWS full well you don't want to be there, that you are fed up with his behavior, and have other legitimate priorities), that you've reconsidered and had a change of heart. That as his mom you are proud of this major accomplishment, and that he is your #1 priority. Also I'm concerned that if you don't go, you may just perpetuate the battle and give him more reasons, HUGE reasons, to justify in his mind further belittling and disrespect to you. By 'losing' this battle, you are on the path to winning the war: His hopefully maturing into a respectful young man who understands that he's loved, and that his mom's got his back, no matter what. I'm trying to make lemonade out of lemons here. Give the kid a positive memory of his special day. It doesn't remotely mean that you accept and condone his bad behavior, it's just a separate issue.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, May 26, 2010 - 3:36 pm
Sia, I know you are probably very frustrated and feel beaten down. But I hope you will take what you've heard here to re-orient you. Yes, you need to deal with your son's bad behavior, you are totally supported in that. But you also have to teach him about doing the right thing, even when you'd rather not, even when it's hard. That's a very important lesson, taught only by example.
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