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Archive through March 12, 2010

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: January 2010 ~ April 2010: Free Expressions: Advice please....: Archive through March 12, 2010 users admin

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Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 10:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
To each his own. To me, it's inappropriate for a little girl to dress/act this way.

I just can't believe the way things have changed in 15 years from when I cheered (for an actual sport).


Luckily she's not my kid.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 10:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
When I was a cheerleader, oh so many years ago, we wore our cheer uniforms (short skits) when we did fundraisers.
Our church youth group does car wash fundraisers and the girls were shorts and a t-shirt or bathing suit top (granted one piece).

Really trying not to be offensive, but I think you are the one who is sexualizing the little girl. I don't think any of us are looking at her that way....just a little girl doing a great lift in uniform.

Brenda1966
Member

07-03-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 10:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Brenda1966 a private message Print Post    
I feel the same way -- it's in the eye of the beholder, kind of thing. Unless we are all going to start wearing burkas and full robes boots and cover every square inch of exposed skin, I really don't see a problem with girls in t-shirt and shorts, even a cut off t-shirt. Remember tube tops?! That's what we wore when I was a kid. Those hideous things. I really doubt this girl is wearing that to be provacative. I think she's wearing it because it's comfy, allows her to move and do her cheers, and also won't be too uncomfortable if she gets wet. when kids start dressing provacativly on purpose, then I get a bit unsettled.

Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 10:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
" think you are the one who is sexualizing the little girl"

Among a board of primarily women, some who have themselves cheered or had their daughters cheered, this may look very innocent.

But this picture on Facebook and see how many creepy friends it attracts. That will give you a better view of what is really going on in the minds of the general public.

Escapee, I agree with you. If I could protect a child from this kind of premature sexualization I would. But the times have changed and I think you can see this thinking on the board. You are not likely to find much support.

But times have not changed all that much. There are still plenty of creeps out there enjoying this free show now more than ever.


Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Texannie, bless your heart, that's not offensive at all......


What benefit can this have to her? Show off your goods for money and praise? What message is that sending to girls this young?

But I guess it wouldn't have the same effect on certain people if the bellies were covered and the skirts not so short, and the makeup not so garrish and little girls weren't trying to look older to appeal to 'people' who like that sort of thing, I guess.



She is good, no doubt about it. She has natural ability as a gymnast, which is what she started out doing before her mom wanted her in competitive cheer instead.


I think it's important to protect children, especially in this day and age of sexual predators and dangers to children. Sticking your kid on a street corner, belly shirt, short shorts, leg in the air, I think, is inviting a bad element just as it's inviting to those who think they are "cute" and "talented".

TY Gidget.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
I have seen similar pages on FB, my kids' school website ect. Yes, I am sure there are creeps out there that would look at it differently, but if one is inclined to look at little children; their dress doesn't really matter in most cases.
I do agree that there is a definite problem with young girls trying to look too grown up and the general sexualizing of young girls in media ect, but I just don't see this example as one of them.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Thanks, Escapee, glad you were offended.
May I ask if you mind two piece bathing suits?
Is it the fact that she is wearing it outside of competition that is upsetting or the outfit in general?

Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
No one asked me but I am going to answer anyway. Shorts and belly shirt to wash cars, sure. Crotch shot in the air on the corner, no.

And she is nine friggin years old. Not a teenager. Nine.

No women don't have to wear burkas but women have a choice of what they wear or don't and the public reaction to them. And how they handle that.

A nine year old does not realize all what is going on. Somewhere an adult is making adult decisions and judegements and applying them to a child.


Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:28 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Two piece bathing suits or bikini's? The latter on little girls I do take issue with. Tankini's are one thing, string bikini's or tiny tops another. It's about age appropriateness.

There is something to be said about teaching your daughters demurity and modesty. A concept that is lost now days.

Texannie, do you have daughters?

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
On another note, she is an amazing tumbler. This child has extrordinary talent that I hope will take her far. I also hope that trying to grow up to fast does not get in the way of any of her hopes and dreams. I am not sure where this competition cheerleading leads or if it has a future as a sort of career. If so, I am sure she will go far as she has the ambition and drive to do great.


However, tweenages are creeping up fast and I think this is the time when it's most important to help the transition in a healthy way, not hinder it.

Christy358
Member

07-10-2007

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Christy358 a private message Print Post    
We have a group that comes into our dept store, (and I would guess many others) that looks for modest clothing. This means dresses with sleeves, shorts that are a little longer, pants that do not show what color underwear you have on.... They give us a little plaque if we pass.

I think the intention is really to teach the girls that are doing the test what really is modest and what is not.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 11:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
yes, I have a daughter that is 16 today. I worry more about the too risque clothing when they actually have gone through puberty and have 'something'. I do monitor my daughter's clothing, but I would not be worried or offended if she wore that cheerleading outfit at any age.
Have I made her take off shorts that I thought were too short for school..yes. Can she wear those same shorts to the beach, probably. I don't like little bitty string bikini's, especially with thong bottoms, but I also remember wearing midrift shirts, and very low waisted jeans and bikini's back in the 70's when I was in high school.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
I certainly understand the desire to protect your children from pedophiles, but I also think we have to be measured in our response so we are not blaming the children for the horrible behavior of others. FWIW, a true pedophile will take the most innocent photos of children and find them perverse, so it's not so much about these kinds of photos, as it is about the depraved mindset of a pedophile.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Happy Birthday to Texannies DD! I have a 16 year old as well. She is pretty modest on her own merit. I've never had to say anything to her about her attire. She does like that dark eye liner sometimes, which bugs the crap out of me.
However, she doesn't like anything low cut, shorty shorts, or boobie bearing bikinis, nothing see through. She says mystery is sexier at her age. I told her mystery is less scary at my age, LOL.

She is a good example for the younger girls in my home, and I appreciate that.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
People see what they want to see. As we all know, in some societies women are expected to be fully covered practically from head to toe. If I understand correctly it is supposedly for their own protection because men can't control themselves? That's not the kind of society I want to live in.

Brenda1966
Member

07-03-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:26 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Brenda1966 a private message Print Post    
I agree that the creeps can take any photo of a child fully clothed and find something desirable about it. That's their problem, and I agree with not blaming the kids. I have a daughter and I am trying to teach her that our bodies are not shameful and I think some teachings of modesty can border on making people feel shame. Everyone has a body! I do also try to teach her appropriate clothing. That outfit would not be appropriate for school, but it would for the beach, for a car wash, for cheerleading.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 12:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Ditto Brenda.

Thanks for her birthday wishes. Bless her heart, she is home very sick today. She's a good kid, and I rarely have to make her change. She is more into the Juicy sweats than short shorts.

Lordy, the black eyeliner makes me crazy too!! LOL

I will say the one article of clothing that makes me see red and I refuse to let her wear are those softie shorts with words on the behind like 'sweet', 'sugar' ect. it's like one of our youth ministers said 'if you don't want boys staring at your behinds don't wear shorts with words on them, and don't pretend that's not why you wear them anyway'!!!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 1:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Texannie, the cheer girls wear those shorts often, infact I want to say that niece's shorts in that picture say Juicy across the ass part.

Honestly the pictures do not do justice to the way these girls are allowed and encouraged to portray themselves. They are encouraged to be sassy, flirty, and sexy, even if those exact words are not used.

The only thing I've gotten after my 16 year old for is that she likes the skinny jeans, which I fine, i have some too, but she has NO hips (which must be nice) and they tend to slip when she bends down, sometimes showing her coin slot or top of her panties. That's a HUGE no no in my house. Fortunately, most of the time she has a really long tank on under her shirts and it's covered.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 2:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
The girl in the pic is your niece?

As a former cheerleader I dont have a problem with the girls wearing that outfit and cheering to get ppl to go to the carwash.

She does look older than 10 but all kids look older these days, my 14 yr old boy looks 17!

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 2:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
the other issue is that the pic is a snapshot of what she was doing. Its not like she stayed in that pose with her leg spread for more than a few seconds. Any one passing by wouldnt get to analyse the girl as closely as we are looking at the pic.

As a cheerleader you have to know how fast those kicks go up and down.

Prisonerno6
Member

08-31-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 3:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Prisonerno6 a private message Print Post    
She does look older than 10

I think that might be part of Escapee's point. Dressing like this, in part, makes her look older than she is. The outfit, to me, would be much more appropriate if the t-shirt were not rolled up and the shorts rolled down to show more skin. I find that sexualizing and inappropriate for a 9-year-old.

A while ago, the daughter of a colleague came into the office wearing those cheers shorts with something (maybe Juicy) written across her rear. She was about 10 at the time. Putting aside the fact that she was wearing such casual attire in the workplace, I was taken aback by the thought a such a young girl wearing a pair of shorts designed to get people to stare at her ass. I found the whole concept bizarre.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 3:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
For me, it's not the outfit that makes her look older, its her body or at least that picture of her. She looks tall with long legs and her body overall looks more developed than an avg 10 yr old. I assume its cuz she is athletic and probably has a more toned body than the avg 10 yr old.

Jewels
Member

09-22-2000

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 4:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jewels a private message Print Post    
New Question/Advice Needed:-)

My daughter is in first grade and I need to write a letter to the principal, a school board member and the superintendent about a disruptive child in the classroom that needs to be removed and put in a behavioral classroom. I have witnessed this kid be disruptive, defiant and violent (pushing other kids mostly, but I did have my hand on a door once when he was having an "episode" he took a fist and hit my hand). At least 3 times a week (that I know of) he is taken from the room and sent for a "break" to the social services room, if his behavior has been really bad then he is sent home.

I need help in writing the letter to get the point across that I am concerned for my child's, and the other children's, safety, and I am concerned that it will a negative affect on my child's learning.
Can anyone help me put together some coherent thoughts? Please know that yes, I have talked to the teacher, yes, I have talked to the principal. I have talked to the other 1st grade teacher also. The 2 teachers want me to write a letter because they have tried and tried to no avail to get him in a better place. The principal said "we are taking care of it", but I have decided to go above her head because it is March and his behavior has gotten increasingly worse over the past couple of months. You also need to know that I am also an employee of the school. I work for 90 minutes everyday in the 2 first grade classrooms.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 5:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Ah Jewels I can sympathize to some degree. There is a girl in my daughter's class that has some serious control issues. To the point where if she's not first in line she'll shove other kids when the teacher isn't looking, or put her arms straight out and back up until other kids fall down. She is mean, bratty, and miserable to be around. My daughter told the teacher that the girl pushed her and the teacher responded "way to make friends, eh?"

The problem is the girl's mother is very confrontational, abrasive, and brassy. So the teacher, being demure and laid back probably just wants to get through the year and be done with her. I tell DD to ignore her as much as she can and not to play with her. BUT, when there are only 4 girls in the class, that's rough.

My suggestion to you would be to get the feedback from other parents maybe see if they'll also write a letter to go along with yours. THere is power in numbers.

I would also say just what you wrote in it too:
I am concerned for my child's, and the other children's, safety, and I am concerned that it will a negative affect on my child's learning.


Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 5:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
I would take it from the point of view of not 'you need to do this!' but from the standpoint of 'how can we make the classroom a safe and productive enviroment?'