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Archive through February 20, 2010

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: January 2010 ~ April 2010: Free Expressions: Advice please....: Archive through February 20, 2010 users admin

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Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Thursday, February 18, 2010 - 4:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
Escapee, I sympathize with you. I am glad I am not raising girls today. Very, very tough.

Some posters are remembering from their childhoods, ballet and theater. I was in grade school in the 60's and went to a very strict all girls school. We wore makeup for stage performances and the ballet dancers wore leotards and tutus.

We did not wear makeup or revealing clothing at other times though.

I think what is making this harder for you Escapee, is that the 00's are not the 60's. When I was growing up, children were children. We were not sexualized. And most of us didn't hit puberty till we were about teens.

Jeanne's belly button is to me the bench mark of the times.

Today we have actual children in sexualized roles and as role modelsI am not going to name any and start a debate. We all know who they are.

I'm rambling here but one last comment. One of the threads recently had a post about Miley Cyrus I think. Her younger sister is fronting a line of hot lingerie for tweens. Disgusting.

Then there is Facebook and MySpace and sexting.

Nope. Glad I am not raising girls.


Rissa
Member

03-19-2006

Thursday, February 18, 2010 - 5:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
I can't remember breakfast much less elementary school so can just refer to my dds. My youngest is a whopping 107lbs (she is 5.6") and started wearing a bra at age 11 (13 now). Virtually all of her friends are just as thinn (and in the same bra boat). I wouldn't be surprised if our diets play a role but also that part of it is that clothes are tighter and thinner then their better coverage predecessors so that bras become necessary earlier. LOL Like previously mentioned, it used to be that you would hide your bra at first.... now it's a point of pride. Related to that is that girls want bras as soon as possible, does an almost A cup even NEED a bra? Probably not but they want one.

eta: Good god, was that ever a rambling mess? LOL

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Thursday, February 18, 2010 - 5:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
I think the only problem I have is the crotch shot of the girls on top of the pyramid! :-)

I guess if the 8 year olds perform with the 14-15 year olds, yeah, then they probably want to dress like the older girls. I think their makeup looks like crap up close, but for stage makeup it's fine.

And ballet is dance. Cheerleading is sport. Sorta apples and oranges, yes? (Good analogy with the locker room posters and Dallas Cheerleaders. They've definitely sexualized the sport of cheerleading.)

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Thursday, February 18, 2010 - 6:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Happymom a private message Print Post    
I have 3 girls. They are all teens now. Many of the 5th grade girls wore bras whether they needed them or not. Some needed them and weren't fat at all. I think hormones in meat and milk might have something to do with puberty hitting the girls earlier these days. I don't know though. My oldest started her period at 10 1/2. She had more hormones (from food) than my other two (who both started at 13). When my oldest was little, I didn't know as much about hormones and meat and milk.

I agree about little girls' padded bras, that is mostly what we found too. They weren't super padded though, but still...

Speaking of hiding bras, a lot of girls and women's bras and bra straps are regularly showing now. They'll wear the T in the back type tank tops but not that type of bra. At least they are wearing bras though. (I would never wear something that showed my bra.) I'd rather see a bra strap than those ultra low cut jeans that were the norm when my oldest was a preteen and young teen. I wouldn't allow her to wear those, I don't think she wanted to anyway. I was really glad when the length of the shirts got longer since the jeans are still somewhat low cut but not ultra low cut now.

In posting all of this, I am leading up to that I think manufacturers are to blame for sexualizing young girls. I hate it. Sure, we don't have to buy those clothes (and I didn't for my girls or allow them to wear them) but it made it hard to shop because there was little else to choose from that fit (at least when my oldest was a preteen).

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Thursday, February 18, 2010 - 8:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
As for this current topic, so much depends on the child herself and whether they are succumbing to peer pressure.

when i was grade 6, half of us were wearing bras. a few were like 36D.

personally i think society was much different in the 70s compared to now. heck, it was in style to be braless and around here there were tons of hippies. I dont think a tween with puffies was even noticed.

Nowadays i notice men oogling young girls EVERYWHERE. in malls, on the street, on our local ferries etc. IN comparison in THE 70S Some might say skin tight levi's and a tshirt isnt sexy, but they were form revealing.

Our training bras werent padded.

Considering the increases of incestuous meddling done by nonblood related males in the home(stepdads, step brothers) , i think covering the boobage area of young girls with a pad is smart.

I was given a friend's nine year old for a while a few years ago. that girl had pre-boobs and it was a little obscene to let her run around in tshirts Without at least a sports bra or thick cotton camisole. She hated wearing it tho however, she was a naturally beautiful child who was taller than i am. Men and teenage boys would leer. she didnt notice because she was from an isolated small town,
it really creeped me out tho. Go padded bras! less nippleage the better imho

Landileigh
Member

07-29-2002

Thursday, February 18, 2010 - 11:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landileigh a private message Print Post    
i had my period at 10 years old and definitely needed a bra, but hated it. back then the case was to hide it. now it isn't. there weren't victoria's secret and other stores that made it more socially acceptable.

the skirt is an acceptable cheerleading length. and the makeup although it looks odd and garish close up, does not from the stands. there are many cheer groups that are not "cheering" teams. it has become a sport in itself these days. not just for sis-boom-bah-ing a football or basketball team.

cheer hair is so that all of the girls look alike and that noone stands out on their own. could you tell i was a "cheer mom" once?


Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Friday, February 19, 2010 - 10:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
I think the kids in all of the photos look just fine, and I am an old fogey.

Maplsyrp
Member

02-10-2009

Friday, February 19, 2010 - 10:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Maplsyrp a private message Print Post    
I'm just thankful to have boys!!!!
My mom refused to buy me a bra because I was so flat chested. I was in Jr. high and I was getting teased alot about the nipples showing. One of my teachers felt sorry for me and asked my mom to come to a parent conf. and of course she was embarrased and angry and I got in trouble when I got home. She took me shopping and bought me two training bras and then never bought me another bra even tho I eventually grew and needed one.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, February 19, 2010 - 10:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
well, i am old too and I wore makeup when i did ballet. my daughter wearing makeup for her dance recitals or musicals had nothing to do with the sexualizing of young girls but more to be able to see features from the audience. wearing makeup for tv, film, stage is not a new concept.

Calamity
Member

10-18-2001

Friday, February 19, 2010 - 11:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Calamity a private message Print Post    
One can call it stage makeup but should we really be teaching girls that glitter eye shadow is a good thing? I say "no"! :-)

I don't have a problem with the outfits (my niece's looks just like the ones in the pictures Escapee posted) but, like I said, it's the flashy makeup and having to act older that bugs me. Her group is a cheer team (lots of tumbling) not a dance squad. The dance squad girls are made to look and move even older than the cheer girls. Plus being around so many junior high and high school girls is making the younger ones more worldly, if that's the word. It's kinda startling to hear what seven- and eight-year olds are talking about nowadays! Even though they don't yet have the maturity to understand a lot of it.

What upsets my mom is that my niece is being pushed so hard with her cheering - she has practices with her squad plus extra one-on-one tumbling classes - that she's pretty exhausted and doesn't have free time to just play like a kid. She gets overtired which makes her cranky. The physical activity and discipline she's getting out of this is good, I think, but there's something to be said for just being a kid too.

ETA: One more thing about the cheer hair. At the meet I went to, there was a group of 3 dozen girls all with springy flaxen blonde curls. This was before someone explained cheer hair pieces to me. My dad and I were wondering how they all had the same color hair.

Calamity
Member

10-18-2001

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 11:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Calamity a private message Print Post    
Well, I guess I killed this thread but I just wanted to clarify that when I wrote "It's kinda startling to hear what seven- and eight-year olds are talking about nowadays!", I meant that some of them are talking about using boys and hurting other girls and things like that. Not the stuff that made us want to read certain books in fifth or sixth or seventh grade. Some of the girls today seem rather manipulative, cynical even, for being only 7 or 8.

Kookliebird
Member

08-04-2005

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 6:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kookliebird a private message Print Post    
So, something came up that I wonder how others might handle it.

Background: My niece was married 8 years ago and has 4 children. I bought a present and went to her wedding. Last year, she told her husband (really nice guy, made good money) that she wanted a divorce. He was crushed but they got the divorce, rather quickly in my opinion. Well, you can probably guess where this is going, there was someone else. At the same time, the 'someone else" asked his wife for a divorce. They have 3 kids. His wife was not as accomodating, so their divorce is taking awhile, otherwise the wedding would have happened by now. I think they are finally divorced because I got a "save the date" email for a small family/friends wedding in May. By small, they are talking 50-75 people at a really fancy hotel with sitdown dinner and dancing.

So, here's my question. Would you:

a) Buy a present and go to the wedding.
b) Send a present, but don't go to the wedding.
c) Send a wedding card and don't go to the wedding. my sister's solution
d) Schedule an out of town trip on the same weekend as her wedding.
e) Some other option that I haven't thought about.

I am not real close to my niece. While she was growing up, I probably only saw her about 1-2 times a year. She married her first husband after 6 months of dating and the 2nd time around looks similar.

Like I said, there's more to the story, but I think I hit the high points and just wondered what others might do in a similar situation.

Babyruth
Member

07-19-2001

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Babyruth a private message Print Post    
Since you are not real close to your niece, and you've already done A. before, I think C. sounds about right.

Naja
Member

06-28-2003

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Naja a private message Print Post    
It's family. I would buy a present and go to the wedding and not make a fuss about it.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
I'd do C.

Your sister = niece's mom? Not that it matters, but if it is, then even more so C.

Kookliebird
Member

08-04-2005

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kookliebird a private message Print Post    
She's my brother's daughter. My sister says she doesn't do 2nd weddings. My brother will be there for sure.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I would do whatever you did for her first marriage.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Not "doing" second wedding is rather judgmental. Sometimes people make mistakes. I would treat the second marriage like the first.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
Actually it depends on why you aren't doing the wedding. If it's because you have little or no contact with the person whatsoever, a card should suffice. If that's the case, that's not being judgemental. If it's just because it's a 2nd wedding, then maybe it's judgemental maybe it's not, especially if it's a steadfast rule no matter who the wedding is for.

I'm not one to believe that just because I get an invitation I at least owe a gift. Or a even just a card for that matter. [We'd be broke if that's the case if all we sent were cards to all the invites we get.]



Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
i would ask your brother what he really thinks of situation. your Neice's parents may already know about the new guy and LOVE him!

either way, i'd kinda want to support my brother in his decision involving his daughter's second marriage.

IF your brother doesnt seem to care, is going thru the motions- I'd go with C

a couple of years ago I had a difficult decision to make about whether to go or NOT to a friend's wedding.

Reading the Pros and Cons from Posters here at TVCLUBhouse made my decision easier.

I didnt go. And frankly, nothing has changed. I never heard or saw them as a couple before and I still dont LOL

glad i didnt make an effort.

Kookliebird
Member

08-04-2005

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kookliebird a private message Print Post    
I believe that my brother would support his daughter decision, whether or not he thinks it's a good thing. He hasn't said one way or the other, he's just not that way. But, there have been a few off comments that make me think he's not too happy with the situation.

I think the last half of your post has hit it on the head. I'm not sure there will be any change in our limited relationship whether I go or not. But, I think that maybe I should go for my brother. Since my sister is not going, then I would be the only person from his side of the family. In the past, his wife has been very judgemental if our side of the family doesn't do what she thinks we should do in certain situations (if that makes sense).

I'm unattached, so going to a wedding alone is a bit uncomfortable. Part of me is thinking, just go for the reception but don't stay too long. Make an appearance then head out for something else.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 7:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I think making an appearance is your best bet. Chances are they'll never remember how long you stay, but they may remember if you didn't go at all. And if you think your bro would appreciate it, all the more reason to show up.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 8:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
I love a good party so I would go and get some inexpensive gift. Something from Ross or Tuesday morning, they have 50.00 items for 10!

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 8:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
oh and as for being unattached, I would for sure go! You just never know what'll happen, look at all the fun ppl had in Wedding crashers :-)

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 9:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
I love all of my nieces and nephews to death. If any of them was getting married either for the first time or the fifth time, I would be there to celebrate their happiness. I suppose the present would be larger for the first marriage because they are just starting out. By their fifth marriage, I might just buy them his and her candy bars or something, lol.