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Archive through March 12, 2010

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: January 2010 ~ April 2010: Free Expressions: Advice please....: Archive through March 12, 2010 users admin

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Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 9:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
I went to my oldest sis's first, second and third wedding. I was even in the second wedding. The third wedding was the best, and so was (is) the groom!

Kookliebird
Member

08-04-2005

Saturday, February 20, 2010 - 10:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kookliebird a private message Print Post    
Huk, I'm envious of your relationship with your nieces and nephews. I really am only close with 3 out of 6 of them.

Thanks for all the input. It helped me figure out that I'll probably make an appearance, but not stay for the whole thing.... unless Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson show up.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 9:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
A wedding is a celebration of starting a life together. Whether it's first second or 10th. They are asking you to join them in celebrating their union. While it is good etiquette to bring a gift, it is also not required. Originally, your presence in celebrating was the present and if you couldn't attend a present in place of your presence....

I'd send a gift, even if it's something for the kids, like picture frames that say Family/Children or something, or heck, send something strictly for the kids.

Grooch
Member

06-16-2006

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 10:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Grooch a private message Print Post    
Kookie, how far away is the wedding and reception from you? Are you in the same town?

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 10:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Happymom a private message Print Post    
If you think this will start a war with your brother, go. If you'll have regrets that you didn't go, then go. If the war or regrets don't bother you as much as going, then don't go. (Same applies to gifts. I would still send a card no matter what. I may send even a small gift too...like from Ross or something other than a gift card/$.)

As for going w/o a date etc., does that even matter anymore? Don't lots of people go to weddings w/o dates now? In the case of being shy and not knowing a lot of people there, maybe you could bring a friend?

If it were me, and I had decided on going, if for some reason I couldn't go to the reception and wedding, I'd pick the wedding.

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 11:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
I just went to my niece's 3rd wedding (she is 30.) Didn't take a gift for the 3rd one, but did give her something for the 1st and something smaller for the 2nd.

Didn't go to the first wedding (she essentially eloped...we gave a very nice dinner for the two families and close friends about a month afterward), but did go to wedding 2. Her parents have only been at wedding 3. My parents (her grandparents) and I were at 2 and 3. My three other siblings were at wedding 2. So, there are a lot of different configurations and all parties have never been at one wedding!

I am with Huk. I adore my nieces and nephews and want my role in their lives to be a person who is there to support. They have enough people in their lives to beat them over the head when they make bonehead moves. I give my true opinion when it is asked, and sometimes when not, and then try to keep my mouth shut and just love them. When I go to the wedding I am saying I will do what I can to help support the marriage....and I will. Do I think this 3rd wedding will last? Not necessarily. But it won't end because I am not supportive.

Plus my niece has 3 young children who were in the wedding and I was there to support that. A few weeks before the wedding I had told her youngest daughter (age 6) to turn and smile at me when she was down in front at the wedding, all pretty in her special dress, and she did. I had forgotten I had told her that, but she came running up to me after the wedding and said "Did you see me smile?" I had...just hadn't realized why!

As for going to the wedding by yourself, I understand the reluctance completely. I am 49 and single and it doesn't ever seem to get easier. In fact, in some ways it gets more difficult. Just make it a goal to encourage as many family members as you can in a short space, then slip away. Especially if you think your brother is having mixed emotions, your being there and being support to him is worth a bit of discomfort!

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 1:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
A wedding is a celebration of starting a life together

this comment got me thinking. on both sides of my family weddings are not big parties. It is not common to get invitations to Anyone's wedding. indeed, my family often finds out who is married/ divorced or had babies when we get the form letters at Christmas.

it strikes me that weddings mean different things to different people depending on culture, how you were raised and whether it is viewed as a 'must have big party' wedding.

\some families rarely see each other. i'm constantly amazed at how rarely my vancouver relatives see each other. It is really weird. Once my uncle came from Austria to visit and we only found out cause my aunt blurted it.

my dad (his brother) were going to vancouver and i was letting the aunts know we were coming for a visit. I was told NO dont COME! Ted is coming to see us. When i said that Dad would love to see him, i was told NO, my uncle was staying with a cousin at his house and she didnt feel we should invite ourselves.

Ted never called my dad. My Dad died suddenly two months later.

anyways, my ramblings are specifically to point out that people sometimes make decisions based on what they want, not what is 'best in the long run'.

Kookliebird
Member

08-04-2005

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 2:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kookliebird a private message Print Post    
Grooch - we are in the same general vicinity. The wedding is downtown, about 10 minutes from my place. I guess if I were closer to her, I would not have any issue with the wedding. She's a very 'me' and materialistic oriented person, which has something to do with it. It influences her opinions of people if they are overweight or are not wearing the finest clothes. That type of thing bothers me alot.

Anyway, at this point, I'll make an appearance but not stay too long. On the gift side, I'll probably give a framed scenic photograph that I took. I can put one together with materials I already have for about $15 that looks like it's worth a lot more.

Sunshyne, I feel for you with your dad and his brother. That's a hard one to deal with. My mom was never close to her family, other than annual letters, as they lived on the other side of the country (none of them travelled much). After she passed away, I started sending her remainng brother and sister cards for various holidays since my mom could no longer send her letters. I never heard a thing from her brother. When her brother passed away last year, my cousins finally contacted me to tell me how much my uncle enjoyed the little 'chats' that I sent from the cards and how much I reminded him of my mom. I had no idea, but just kept sending them because he was alone in a nursing home in Nebraska. It made me cry. So, you are right, we don't know what will happen, but sometimes the connection is still there no matter what the circumstances.

It has been very eye-opening to read everyone's thoughts here. Thank you all.

Dfennessey
Member

07-25-2004

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 3:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dfennessey a private message Print Post    
I always send my uncle (my fathers sister's husband, she passed away 12 years ago) christmas cards and he wrote back this year in a card saying he enjoys receiving my cards because he still feels like he is connected to his wife. As I was reading it outloud to my roomate i started to cry because I was glad I made him happy

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 4:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Send a card, and don't attend. I just dealt with "save the date" and "wedding invite" for my sister's 4th marriage last year. Um, yeah, I stood up with you for two, bought presents for three, I'm taking a pass on #4.

You're not close to this person, just send a congratulatory card with regrets when you get the actual invite.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 5:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Are there people who will be at the wedding that you would like to see? I love things like this cause it brings together people who normally don't get to be together enough.

Twinkie
Member

09-24-2002

Monday, February 22, 2010 - 6:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twinkie a private message Print Post    
I say be the better person and go to the wedding to show support for your family. You don't need to take a gift unless you want to. I think your presence would be enough. And hey, you never know you might just have fun.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Tuesday, February 23, 2010 - 9:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Getting here late to this discussion, but I think you have made exactly the right decision, Kookliebird.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 - 4:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
upon rereading I think i should add. On one side of the family we are all very close but low income. I think that may be why weddings etc are more 'immediate family and close friends' only.

then it struck me, on one side of the family (the city people) the kids basically are all shacked up then a few snuck in a quickie wedding (vegas/ hawaii) when someone gets pregnant LOL

(((iF YOU live that close Kooklie, it would be best to make an appearance. good choice!)))

Beckie03
Member

07-05-2007

Wednesday, March 03, 2010 - 9:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beckie03 a private message Print Post    
so my favorite band is 311. 3/11 is a national holiday to me...yes really it is. every other year, 311 holds a big 5-hr long concert where they just play non-stop music. I've never been, but I might have the chance to go (long story why I didn't get tickets before, but short story is scalpers).

mtv has teamed up with 311 and is offering a chance to a 311 fan to be a correspondent at 3/11 Day. you see the concert, you interview the band, you go to the day before party and the day after party, and you get some autographed stuff. All expenses paid.

to be considered, you have to make a video and post it to mtv by March 7 by 11:59pm. They'll pick the winner on March 8th.

Of course, the more creative, the better.

I work on Saturday all day and part of tomorrow, so I basically have Friday and maybe some of Sunday to do a video. I need some creative ideas.

I was thinking of picking a top movie from each year they had put an album out and while explaining why I should be picked tie in those movie lines (make them obvious of course)...or maybe act out a short scene and tie it to 311. or say why I am the best with lines from their songs, but I feel like a few people would do the same. My dog also has a 311 shirt, so I figured I would tie her into the video too...somehow.

obviously I have really limited time, so I can't go all out (even if I think I can). If anyone has any suggestions, it would be much appreciated. TIA.


Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 3:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
I like your ideas. Since you say 3/11 is a national holiday to you, perhaps incorporating a shot of a calendar with the date marked/highlighted indicating its importance to you as a national holiday?

Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Thursday, March 04, 2010 - 1:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
How about your dog ate your 311 lyrics and then have a video of your dog singing 311 songs, interspersed with clips of 311 singing. Bet no one else does that.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, March 10, 2010 - 2:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Ok, I am back on the Cheerleading kick. I was sent this picture. I just cannot acclimate myself to the idea that 9 year old is out there, on the street, pimping a car wash looking like this:


Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 10:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
Well I guess it could be worse. At least her boobs & her butt are covered!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 11:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Yes, for a nine year old, at least there's that. For now.

Serate, thank you for responding.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 11:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
For the life of me she looks older than 9. Tho my middle bonus daughter was very mature looking at 9 too.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 9:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
She'll be 10 in June. This pic was taken last year I was told.

Landileigh
Member

07-29-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 9:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landileigh a private message Print Post    
she's in appropriate attire for a car wash... a t-shirt and shorts, doing a cheerleading stunt and waving a sign for a car wash. she's not in a bikini. love how you use the words "pimping", well, i've stood on many a corner waving a sign for a car wash to get people to come in for fundraising for schools and cheerleading. it's not pimping, it is advertising. i see nothing wrong in what this little girl is wearing for this kind of event.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 9:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
how else would a cheerleading squad advertise a car wash which i am presuming is to raise money for the squad?

Brenda1966
Member

07-03-2002

Friday, March 12, 2010 - 10:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Brenda1966 a private message Print Post    
When I saw the photo my first thought was "wow, she's good!"