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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 11:59 am
Hehe, I was going to say all that stuff drives me nuts too, but only when I do it! I'm always willing to give others the benefit of the doubt...they know the difference but were typing too fast or were distracted, but when I do it and catch it I want to scream. I know the difference between their, they're, and there, your and you're. I took a whole college class on these little grammar rules, lol! I come here where we're pretty casual and it's as if all my spelling, grammar, and punctuation go right out the window.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 12:13 pm
Same here. I have a University degree and I wrote lots of papers but when I'm here among friends it is different. Sometimes (a lot of times) I know that I could write better but I don't bother. LOL - Hopefully, you all take that as a compliment rather than an insult.
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 12:16 pm
Well, I for one take it as an insult that we don't get your best work. 
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 12:19 pm
That's the thing for me, Jimmer...when I come here, I type and write the same way I would speak to friends and family. I'm the one everyone brings their papers to to proofread and I'm good at that, but among friends, I'd never talk or type that formally.
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Jeep
Member
10-17-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 12:21 pm
I'm with everyone else.....drives me crazy when the wrong spelling is used. TO be or not TWO be or TOO be, that is the question.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 12:37 pm
I give people a pass when they are worked up about something (Griping or Excitement).
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 12:59 pm
Continued gripe: Yesterday was my mom's 50th Birthday. We had a bbq at grandma's and I made her one of my chocolate truffle cakes. Aunt was there with her two boys. Now, we have been really working with our kids on good table manners, as I have mentioned before. So we are all sitting out on the deck and I am at the table with my mom, my two girls (4 & 6) and nephew (5) and cousin (16). I was sitting next to cousin and dd(6) and I was reminding them elbows off the table, napkins in lap, no open mouth talking or chewing. They were really doing well. However, cousin is next to me. He is eating like a pig at a trough, slopping, slurping, munching, etc. Everyone at the table has noticed. Kids had those wide open eye looking around looks like "is mommy gonna say somethign to him." I just continued with the conversation with the little ones about good manners and how people around you appreciate politeness, etc. I mean, this is totally sinking in with the little kids because they are getting a view of what atrocious manners are firsthand. After a few minutes of the horrible noises, I leaned over and quietly said to my cousin "Sweety, could you please try to chew with your mouth closed to set a good example for the younger kids." Seriously, I said it as nice as anyone could, trying to take a page from Karuuna's book. With that he looked at me, spit a huge chunk of grisle onto his plate and got up and walked away. I almost hurled. My youngest said "mommy, that is bad manners." I said "Yes it is." A few minutes later, he came back, sat down and persisted to finish his 'gruel' with his hands, cutting his meat like a 2 year old would and shaking the whole table until dd's milk spilled. I was so irritated, but stayed calm and just told the other kids they could be done eating if they'd like and to please take their plates to the kitchen. Cousin then got up and left his plate where it sat. I finally asked "Are you done?" he said yes and I said "then take your plate to the kitchen like everyone else, please." This is aside from when I got the cake out the 19 year old getting reprimanded from my 4 year old when he tried to stick his fingers in the frosting. That was funny. She said "HEY, don't touch the cake, you've been playing with the dogs!" Then he tried to antagonize her by pretending to touch it again and again. Finally my 16 year old sister told him to GROW UP! In a way it was a good learning experience for my girls, but holy smokes, should we have to deal with this everytime they are here? Not to mention the DISGUSTING body odor and personal hygiene these boys have. I tried Kar, I really did! Love and kindness!
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Panda
Member
07-15-2005
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1:09 pm
I also give it a pass when it's a typo and I also type very casually so I know my grammar suffers! Just plain old things that are wrong irk me. A friend posted on FB that someone in her family was ill with ammonia. Escapee: I like that your DD told him to keep his hands out of the cake!!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1:26 pm
Those kids' manners are terrible. I couldn't deal with that without saying something or never inviting them back again. Family or not I just wouldn't do it.
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Rissa
Member
03-19-2006
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1:37 pm
Hard to tell from your post but is there a chance this wasn't bad manners but angry teenage passive-agressiveness? I ask because he certainly seems to have a chip on his shoulder so did he have that before he even showed up? Either way I agree with Jimmer. You were right to say something and since it is family I wouldn't have qualms about mentioning it to his parents (they were there? not?). I would also tell him that improving his manners would be appreciated before being allowed to eat in your home in the future. Don't think of it as YOU deciding not to allow him (because I know you would feel guilt due to family relationship) but rather HIS decision to not come based on the rules he would have to follow. I tell my girls (well, when they were younger, not really an issue anymore) that I did not take away their TV for a week. THEY DECIDED they didn't want to watch tv for a week when they chose to do...X (whatever bad behavior it was that got them into trouble). I don't need the guilt. LOLOL
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1:38 pm
ITA Jimmer. (shudder)
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Aurora
Member
11-24-2006
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1:56 pm
Strunk and White's Elements of Style. The best and most inexpensive college text I purchased, and the only one I still have.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 1:59 pm
Yeah, the problem was that it was not at my house. In my home, I'd say something. It was Grandma's. My aunt (their mom, gram's daughter) is very overbearing, controlling, and argumentative. It creates a lot of stress on grandma. It's easier for her to not say anything and brush it under the rug. She's a just deal with it kind of person and talk crap about it behind their backs. You can't say ANYTHING to aunt or she starts a big hubub about it, huge drama, fights. One time I posted a question on her facebook page. Just a question about what they'd done that weekend and she called me and said she didn't appreciate having to justify her posts to me and I owe her more respect as my mother's sister. WTFT? Don't know who the heck she thought she was talking to.....However, instead of retorting with something like "HEY, Nusty McCrazy....." my grandma said "please don't exacerbate the problems, it's so hard on me." So I didn't. I don't. No one does. 
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Dfennessey
Member
07-25-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:07 pm
I give you a lot of respect Escapee. Is this the Aunt that wanted to throw your mother a suprise party?
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Rissa
Member
03-19-2006
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:07 pm
UGH!!! I can just imagine the family politics and I am stressed for you. PS I will give you my first born if you just once call her Nusty McCrazy to her face. 
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:08 pm
Should of is my pet peeve. On this board and in casual email, I'm sure I have grammar, spelling, punctuation issues. It's so casual, in fact, that a friend of mine, who recently read something professional that I wrote, said she had forgotten how well I write. (Here, I pretty much just type whatever I'm thinking.) Escapee, I'm now craving chocolate truffle cake!!! (even though I've never had it before) Escapee, ugh! about those table manners. I know you've posted about these two before, and their mom won't do anything right? I'm with Jimmer and Mame, family or not, I'd never allow them over to eat anything...even if it were for my Grandma or MOm. I realize you were at your Gma's house, so, I guess there's not much you can do besides what you did. I'm not sure it would be worth starting a war over their bad manners. Actually, for me, I'm sure it wouldn't be worth it. I'd leave the table though and let the piggies eat alone. I'd ask for eg. Gma (for the next time) to have it a casual affair instead of a sit down where you have to be subjected to such awful table manners. At least your kids learned from it. silver lining in everything 
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:20 pm
Rissa, I am so close. LOL. Yes, this is the same aunt that would not let up on the surprise party. And Happymom, we had a long talk on the way home about their particular manners. I just said that they were never taught proper manners, and that it was way sad. Oh snap, I forgot, it gets better. So 19 year old is going into college. If you know the history of these kids they've been bounced and kicked out of schools for their odd behavior and overbearing nutsy parents. So aunt won't let my cousin take any classes that require a term paper because she doesn't want to have to write a term paper. OMG OMG! RIGHT?! My mom said "Um, you cannot do that!" And aunt said "You don't understand, he just can't do it." Um hello, then he shouldn't be going to college. Also, he is getting his license this year and she went out and got a new car for herself that was an automatic so he could learn to drive that. She didn't want him stressing out over having to remember everything while driving. Does that not scare the crap out of you? That he may get overwhelmed and freak out while driving because he has to remember everything at once??? Also, we have horses and these horses are very green, not for beginners. They are also not big horses either. I am the tallest one in the family at 5'9 and I weigh about 145. I am about as heavy as we want to put on our little appy mare. We also have a little mustang who is a gem, but very green. Well Aunt wants cousin (who is probably 200 pounds) to be able to ride one of these horses. Instead of my grandma saying no, they are not big enough for them to ride, these boys have no riding experience, she just says she doesn't want anyone else riding her horses. Ok, but then I have to lie or keep it a secret that I ride them both. I have been riding my entire life! PLUS can you imagine if he started to freak while riding? DANGEROUS. And of course, my aunt would say "You just don't understand, he didn't know, it's not his fault." Yes this is the mentality, how he's been treated his whooooooooole life. This is why it's a losing battle. That and I know if he got hurt Aunt would sue the pants off of grandma because she feels she's entitled.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:31 pm
I guess you have to think about what is best for your grandma because she is the person that really seems to matter the most in your life.
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:33 pm
For some reason, the last year I have found myself making a lot of errors when I type. Sometimes I completely write the wrong word and then later I see it and say "Huh?" And while others make me crazy with their errors, I really go nuts when they are my own. Especially when I make that sort of mistake at work. And you know something? I know it's ridiculous to get so worked up about it. Why spend lovely life moments worrying about such things? (But please....if you can substitute the words "you are" use the contraction "you're." Not "your".)
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:41 pm
Happymom, should OF instead of should HAVE makes me nuts! That's just the tip of the iceberg, though. There's a lot of spelling and grammar things that make me crazy. I try to just overlook them.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:49 pm
Jimmer, my grandma raised me and is very important to me and my sibilings. She does everything for everyone and is an amazing woman. So yes, respecting that aspect of it as long as I possibly can. In the meantime you all get to be regaled in the adventures of Nutsy McCrazy.
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Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:55 pm
I saw write all this stuff down and then write a children's book about her.
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Dfennessey
Member
07-25-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:55 pm
What is your Aunt going to do when he has to go out and get a full time job and his boss makes him do something he doesn't want to do, send him in with a not?
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 2:57 pm
RIGHT! That's what I was thinking. How is he going to work, or worse DATE (bleck, shudder, omg)which would never be an issue unless his date had no sense of smell. What would I call it 'The horrific parenting of Nutsy McCrazy'?
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Tuesday, April 27, 2010 - 3:14 pm
I've heard the term "helicopter Mom" before. Meaning mothers have been known to call her "child's" boss and try to control their workspace too. Sounds like she's headed in that direction.
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