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Shattered Dreams

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2009 - 2: Shattered Dreams users admin

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Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 7:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
This is a drunk driving awareness program. Is it in any of your schools? They did this last Thursday and my daughter said it was the most impactful thing she had ever seen. It's predominantely for juniors and seniors, but the 'grim reaper' went throughout the school all day pulling someone from class every 15 minutes to represent the rate in which people were killed by drunk drivers.

here is an article about it

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nb/memorial/news/6664229.html

this is a student's perspective

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nb/memorial/news/6664231.html

this is a video from another's school's program
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2zl4FdDTzY

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 7:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
I've heard about it, Texannie, but my school doesn't do it. I would love to see them do it and think I will pass that along to my principal.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 7:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I got to participate in the "every 15 minutes" my senior year. It was right on the heels of a very horrific DUI accident in our area where 4 kids were killed. It was very impactful. Especially the part when the sheriff's dept. goes to your house to tell your parents that their kid has been killed in a DUI crash. Even though my paretns knew about the program and what was going to happen, it was very difficult for them (grandparents and mom)

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 9:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
my daughter said the parents who paticipated were amazing. she said that was the hardest part for her to see.

Beckie03
Member

07-05-2007

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 11:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beckie03 a private message Print Post    
we had the same thing escapee did.

i didn't participate in it, but i had friends who did. i guess the night before the "accident", the students meet together and write letters to their parents saying sorry and that everything will be okay, like they had actually been killed. i guess many kids choked up during this time. then in the morning, death came for kids in different classes "every 15 minutes" until they took us out to see the accident. i actually had a friend who had to leave when they should the accident because she had had a friend recently die in a car accident from a drunk driver and couldn't handle it.

during the act, it was weird seeing people i knew being arrested and/or dead. i mean, they went through the whole process of being booked in and having to call the parents. and the chaplin came to the houses of the people who were killed...definitely real tears. then the day after the accident, they had an assembly and showed what happened after the accident (the booking, the telling of parents, etc). then it showed pictures of the people who were killed, with their face disappearing from the pictures - which for me was the hardest part.

definitely a life changing experience.

at least here, it is shown every other year to juniors and seniors.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 12:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
The event you describe is so important!! As is the one our school system has done.

It's a vignette type play (all volunteers), with each room having a different play going on and each small play takes anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes. The audience walks through each part of the play. First scene.. The parents and students arrive at the scene of the accident. It's a real smashed car and real firemen cutting someone out of the car. This is outside. They go inside the building and just inside is an emergency room. There are real doctors trying to revive a young teen girl (actress) on a gourney. She flatlines and they fight to save her (I choked up watching it). The next room has a cafeteria. It's supposed to be earlier in the day. The kids are talking about visiting their friend who will be at home..etc.. Next room, the teens are in a living room talking to the teen girl about going out. The teens have been drinking, but they talk the girl into going along. Next room is the funeral. There is a person giving a eulogy. By this time, the audience who has been walking into the rooms to view these little plays are crying along with the actors. It's very very realistic. The funeral has a real coffin and looks like a small chapel.
Em and I participated in this event one year and it was the most emotionally wrenching thing we've ever done.
The audience goes in groups to the various rooms, and the plays going on in each room start over with each new group.
We had several parents from MADD who couldn't finish it. =(

Ketchuplover
Member

08-30-2000

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 2:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ketchuplover a private message Print Post    
This is the first I've heard of this.

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 3:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ladytex a private message Print Post    
Our high school does it every year right before spring break/ prom season. Every year I hear the kids come back talking about how it affected them. This past year one of the little girls I know talked to the jrs and srs. Actually she was a freshman, but she spoke because her older sibling was in an accident due to drunk driving and was killed. A couple of the kids cried when they told me about it.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 3:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
here is a little more info on what went on.

Called "Shattered Dreams", the program featured the simulated immediate aftermath with dead, dying, and injured students, some pried out of their smashed vehicles by the HFD's jaws of life, some put on ambulances and some put on a Life Flight helicopter. To drive the point home, a victim ruled DOA was transported off in a hearse. The realism apparently shocked the student observers into uncharacteristic silence. (For some footage of the event, click here.)

But it didn't stop there. The "drunk driver" in the simulation was a female Stratford student who earned the privilege of finding out what it was like to be field tested for sobriety, put into the back of a police car and taken downtown for booking and to spend some time in a jail cell.

During the day, some 30 students were singled out in 15 minute intervals for the announcement of their "death" due to drunk driving, and their obituaries were read to their stunned classmates. For the rest of the day, the "dead" students wore white face paint and were not allowed to communicate in any way with their classmates.

Last night, others spent the evening observing the real life goings-on at the trauma center at Ben Taub Hospital in the Texas Medical Center. They reported what they observed to their classmates today at an assembly designed to further cement the lessons.

Gumby
Member

08-14-2004

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 5:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gumby a private message Print Post    
This is not something that I share freely with many people in my life today, but for some reason I feel compelled to share it now.

15 years ago I had been married to my first husband for 10 years. His job dictated that he work too many hours and he was gone many nights until late. It was my birthday, and I begged him to please come home early so we could spend some time together. My mother had just died unexpectedly 6 weeks before and I needed him home that night. Two hours after he should have been home, he still wasn't there and with no phone call or anything from him, I was starting to get angry. Finally, there were car headlights in the driveway. My anger started to subside. I didn't want to greet him upset, so I put on a smile and went to meet him at the door. That's the moment my life changed forever. It wasn't my husband at the door, but two police officers. I can still hear the words today...We regret to inform you....struck by a drunk driver.....husband didn't survive....we're very sorry. The person that took my husband's life away was 18 years old and a senior in high school. He ran a stop sign and hit Kevin head on. The young man survived the accident with only a few bruises and scrapes. He had been drinking heavily at an after school party and was on his way home when the accident happened.

For many weeks, I was in shock. I couldn't function normally. The kid who hit him was charged with vehicular homicide. Before his trial, I was given the opportunity to meet with him. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. What I found was not a monster, but a child. A child who made a terrible mistake. A child who was mourning his actions and was the most remorseful person I had ever met. A child who had a mother and father and sister that loved him very much. At that moment I knew he had already paid a terrible price and nothing they could do to him would make him feel any worse, or rehabilitate him any further. I begged the court for leniency for him. I begged that they not take him from his family, but allow him to tell his story to others and hopefully change someone's life for the better. He received 5 years suspended sentence. 15 years ago, the drunk driving laws weren't as strict as they are today. He was required to go to counseling. With tears pouring down his face, he and his family thanked me for sparing them further agony.

Six months later, this same 18 year old child was coming home on a Friday night after a party and hit a car head on. This accident killed a young mother and her child. I've often wondered what role I played in her losing her life. What if I hadn't begged the court to go easy on him? Would she still be alive today? Would her child now be getting ready to graduate high school? I've carried that guilt for 15 years.

I would really love to believe that these Shattered Dreams presentations will help change the lives of young people. The cynical part of me says that kids are going to do whatever they want, whenever they want and to heck with what anyone else thinks. Kids think they are invincible. That it isn't going to happen to them. No matter how many movies, videos or even real news items are shown, they just don't get it. It tears my heart in two. However, I commend those that continue to put this message out there in the hopes that just one person will hear the message loud and clear before it's too late.

Beckie03
Member

07-05-2007

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 5:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beckie03 a private message Print Post    
gumby, i know, from experience, that "every 15 minutes" didn't really change a few perceptions; however, those are also the kids that ditched out or if they did show up, laughed through out it.

it was sickening to me...just that year at another high school we heard about four high school boys leaving a party together, all drunk and ran into a stop sign...killing all but one. let me tell you, the stories that came from it (the passenger hit with such force, going around a curb, that his body detached at his stomach and went forward onto his knees) was just gruesome; even if they were more than likely untrue, just to hear about that...it's crazy. some kids were heartless and just continued to drink...but i think it did touch a few kids...for me, i may have drank, but i never once drove drunk.

my only thing is...i think they should broaden it to include drugs...it's not just alcohol that kills with cars.

and i'm sorry about your loss...and for the heartache/guilt. i can't even imagine what you're going through.

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 5:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ladytex a private message Print Post    
Gumby, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a niece to a drunk driver. I do believe that there will be those kids that drink and drive no matter what, but in my heart, I think that if the Shattered Dreams program will help just one kid not drink and drive, then it will be worth it. And I do think that it has helped. Maybe not all, but at least one.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 5:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
(((Gumby))) your story gave me chills and tears streaming down. Don't ever blame yourself for anything. I am so angry at that kid for blowing his second chance you gave him.

Did he get life in prison after the 2nd killing?

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - 6:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
Gumby I don't know what to say. ((Gumby)) I'm blurry eyed as I write this. You are a brave and courageous woman.

A local boy lost his life just recently on the road by our house. He worked at the local grocery store. It was rumored he and his friend had been partying. =( What will it take to get kids or even adults to THINK before getting behind that wheel? It seems everyone thinks they can "handle" it. shakes head.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 3:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Gumby, I can't begin to imagine your pain, but what do we do? nothing? if programs like Shattered Dreams reaches at least one person we are already ahead of the game.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 8:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
((((Gumby))))

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 9:53 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
(((((Gumby)))))
So sorry for your loss, and your pain... Please don't blame yourself a moment more. Like Pamy says, your kind heart gave that boy a chance to turn his life around. It's just a shame (on him!) that he chose to blow that opportunity, and tragedy ensued. I'm also hoping that the justice system threw the book at him!

As for Shattered Dreams.... Those programs never touch everyone's heart, cuz some folks are, frankly thick, or heartless, or just too addicted to drugs or alcohol and not ready to sober up yet, if ever. But they DO reach others and that's what counts. The world is a better place with programs like this around.

Gumby
Member

08-14-2004

Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 12:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gumby a private message Print Post    
Thank you all for your kind words. I've learned to live through the pain and emotions. I don't dwell on this like I did years ago. I put it away and bring it out on occasion. It will always have a place in my life, as I can't totally block it out. God has blessed me greatly in life. I have a wonderful husband of 3 years who loves me and understands me, and just lets me be me. As for the 18 year old, he is now 33 years old and is still in prison. For his second offense, he received 25 years to life. He has been eligible for parole, but has not exercised that option. I go to see him a couple of times a year. He is a very nice, humble young man, who made some terrible choices, which he is paying for. Some people in my life think I'm crazy for going to see him. Maybe I am, but I want him to know that forgiveness is forever, that the choices he made in the past don't have to be repeated in the future. I don't want him to waste this lesson in his life.

As for Shattered Dreams, I really hope I didn't give the impression that I thought it was useless. I do not. I think it's an extremely valuable tool. My prayer is that one person can heed the message and get through to one more person, and so on. Peer pressure can work both ways, for good and bad, and maybe the good will prevail with this.

Thank you all for allowing me to share this little bit of my life with you.

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 12:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
Gumby, thank you for sharing your story.

I for one am in awe of you right now. Your forgiving heart is an amazing testament to the kind of person you are. That you forgave this child once, when he shattered your life so tragically, then twice when he left you with your own feelings of guilt when he threw away the second chance you gave him is unfathomable to me. And I mean that in a good way. You're not crazy at all to visit this young man. You are an example to be held in high regard. Wow. Just....wow. I have goosebumps and no words that can properly express the respect I have for you right now.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, October 15, 2009 - 1:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
amen Who!

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Saturday, December 19, 2009 - 6:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Gumby, I just came to this thread today. I hadn't read it before. You have done everything right. You showed love where others may have held anger all their lives.

Blame for the second accident lies only on the teen. I am proud of you for visiting him.

My cousin's son died in a one car accident. He was the driver. There was one passenger. The passenger survived. I don't know if alcohol was involved.

The younger brother had to adjust to the loss of his best friend. They were very close. This happened on the Saturday before Palm Sunday.

My cousin sent a letter the following week to all the relatives. He said that he and his younger son had attended Easter services together.

Hug them while you have them.

I am glad there are people like you Gumby who teach us that forgiving is a way to show love. You can never go wrong when you forgive.