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Archive through March 12, 2009

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: May 2009 ~ July 2009: The Entertainment Place: Hollywood gossip, news & milestones: Hollywood gossip, news & milestones (ARCHIVES): Archive through March 12, 2009 users admin

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Holly
Member

07-22-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:38 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Holly a private message Print Post    
How do you 'teach abstenance' anyway? Much better to educate on the use of birth control.

Goddessatlaw
Member

07-19-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Goddessatlaw a private message Print Post    
My parents taught me abstinence (or death take your pick). My teachers, Dominican sisters that they were, taught me that if you can't be abstinent use the rhythm method (to this DAY I cringe thinking about those lectures. 90-year-old Sister Mary Leonard carrying on about erections, something she'd likely never seen. Oh Gawd.)

In both cases it worked. I learned that sex is not something to be given freely, if it is given it needs to be given responsibly, and if I get pregnant I will be having the child abortion is not an option. Adoption is an option.

What is so hard about that? I get really tired of the "it's not realistic" arguments. It is realistic. Teach your children responsibility and discipline. And, may I add, the teaching is not centered on what's best for the teenager, but what's best for the CHILD i.e. the EMBRYO that may or may not be involved.

I'm tired of people like Obama acting like the only concern in the world is what may or may not affect the privileged lives of his girls if they fail to behave responsibly. I'm a little more concerned about the unborn life involved.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
I'd hate to see them marry for the sake of the baby. Bristol is smart to realize it isn't going to work out.
Abstinence is a choice some teenagers are making. Kids are smarter than you think. You can teach them anything, but it's their choice in the long run. Yes, these same kids DO know there is protection, too.

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Sorry, GAL, but my complete weight is behind the "it's not realistic" argument. In this day and age, I find it very negligent to only expose teenagers to abstinence only education.

I'm not overly attached to embryos. Curse me if you will, but I am much more concerned with the quality of life of people, especially children, already here in this world who live miserable existences and need help. There are hundreds of thousands of abused and neglected children in this world. My compassion is more for them. You may be tired of "people like Obama," but I'm tired of people who think they are so morally superior in being against abortion and yet turn their backs on those already in existence who desperately need help.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
sweet, I just love that I can blame all the bad choices I made growing up on my parents!!! does that still work now that I am 50? LOL
of course, I am such a fantastic parent, that my children will never make bad choices!

Goddessatlaw
Member

07-19-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:53 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Goddessatlaw a private message Print Post    
And who would those people be? Because I don't know of a single person, for or against abortion, who turns their back on a child who needs help.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
why in this day and age, Herm? Did hormones not rage in other days/ages?

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 11:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
Even the best of birth controls fail. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you teach them...the methods themselves fail.

ETA: I just put some proof of that down for his nappy-poo

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Holly, as to how one teaches abstinence, it's much more than 'just don't do it'. It's educating them about the risks of premartial sex (STD's, AIDs, birthcontrol failure, pregnancy and having to deal with the decisions that are invovled with it... adoption, abortion, parenting the child) and showing them that in the long run it's easier to not have sex than to worry about dealing with these life changing risks. It's also about educating them on how not to find themselves in situations where they might be tempted to have sex. There is alot more education involved than one might think.
It is very similair to drug/alcohol education. You don't tell them 'just say no'. You tell them why, the risks ect. You don't tell them, 'well, if you are going to use cocaine, snort it rather than shooting it because the risk of AIDs is higher with needles'.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
I don't know that Obama acts like the only concern is for his girls. Being pro-choice doesn't mean that you choose to have an abortion, just that the choice is the individual's (the pregnant). I would never take that choice away from another person.
So many teenage parents have not been properly parented but even if they all had been, we would still have a lot of teenage parents.
For me, the most important thing for the baby is that he/she is loved by the person(s) raising him and that the child's best interest comes first.

Goddessatlaw
Member

07-19-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Goddessatlaw a private message Print Post    
Aaaaannnd . .. back to your regularly scheduled programming. This story made me (for real) laugh out loud:

Peta asks George Clooney Whether it would be OK to make CloFu, a Taste Sensation based on his Dirty Gym Towel

Wait for Clooney's response . . .

ETA link is to Entertainment Lawyer, and warning some of the responses may not meet with the sensibilities of delicate people.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
Teaching abstinence and waiting til your ready is great as long as it's with teaching about other stuff as well. We're talking til we're blue in the face with Caleb (who's a whopping 12 years old, but its happening in jr high too!) about waiting and abstinence, but we're also talking about responsibility and protection. In the scarily not too distant future, he'll find a box of condoms in his drawer, just in case what we've talked and talked and talked about hasn't sunk in.

Hehe, funny story about the rhythm method. When sis had baby niece (her third btw) I picked them up to take them home. I walked in the room just as the discharge nurse was asking her what they use for birth control and sis said the rhythm method. Nurse looked at her and said, "Oh honey, that doesn't work!" I cracked up, knowing that other than a very brief time after the birth of their oldest, that was the only birth control method they'd used. Sis told her that they'd been using that method for close to 15 years, oldest kid was 8, middle wasn't quite 4, and now they had the baby....seemed to be working quite well for them, lol. Nurse actually walked out of the room muttering about luck.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
Texannie, your 12:51 post explains the abstinence choice very well!!!!! Sadly, I don't think anyone will understand it, though.

It's also about teaching them about protection, too. (If they do make that choice).

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
Teach them self-worth right along with the risks of having sex, protected or not. So many young girls are having sex as a way of making them feel important or popular.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
GAL once again I could not agree more with your 12:34 post. Nicely put.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
War, would you buy his cocaine for him to make sure he got pure stuff and did his drugs responsibily?

LOL about the nurse. My best friend had to do use the rythmn method for other reasons and it worked great for them. They had 3 children 3 years apart and were married for 26 years before she went through menopause.

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Because, Texannie, teenagers today are exposed to sexual situations that teenagers in the past never dreamed of. Hello, internet! I read an article a few years ago about how today's children are the first generation who will not be able to even imagine life without internet pornography. And I certainly never would have imagined parties as a middle school student, and I am not that old. Many teenagers today would hardly raise their eyebrows at the suggestion. THAT'S why they need to be better educated that abstinence only. And I understood your 12:51 post, I just don't agree that is the best way. I think it's an excellent COMPONENT of sexual education, but I don't think it is the most effective when used without safe sex and birth control education also.

Well, GAL, I probably worded that wrong, but it sickens me to see the time and money going into abortion protests when so many existing children are starving to death or being abused or neglected.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Denecee, definitely teach them about self worth!! and moving this back on the topic...my daughter and i have talked endlessly the past few weeks about the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation and how that is NOT love!

Thanks Twiggy!

Holly
Member

07-22-2001

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Holly a private message Print Post    
Texannie, thanks for your response. That does sound like a pretty comprehensive education, but human nature (and hormones) being what it is, adding information for your teenager about using BC safely and responsibly would be wise too, don't you think?

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Unfortunately, all the education in the world about self-worth doesn't always penetrate the teenage psyche. Or even the adult psyche. I had one of the best upbringings I can imagine, but my self-worth was kaput and a lot of that was from the messages of my peers, not my parents.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
I taught my kids not only that hitting was wrong but verbal abuse is wrong. They don't dish it out or would they tolerate it being done to them.

Not to be confused with self-defense because I did teach them to defend themselves.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
Hermi, that's why teaching them the option of abstinence along with protection is important. Give kids the option to just say no. You'd be very surprised at how many kids do make good choices in life. They may be exposed to more in this modern world, but it doesn't mean they are going to participate.
I've read that people won't teach abstinence, because kids will be kids and why bother. Why not teach them there are options?



Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Strong parenting is amazing and necessary and almost always pays off in the end, but a lot of people are ignoring or neglecting the power and influence of peer groups and the media. It's huge.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
All the research on abstinence only programs has shown that they don't work. Abstinence only teens get pregnant at the same rate as other teens.

As for what your parents teach you, my parents had an 8th grade education. They taught me babies came from lettuce patches. That was real helpful.

It's all fine and well to tell parents to teach their children this or that. The real truth, in the real world, is that they don't. In our fairly affluent area, 1 in 4 teens don't even live with their parents full time, and have been homeless for some period of time.

Relying on the parents to teach them seems like a silly proposition in the real world.

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - 12:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Twiggy, I'm not sure why you think I wasn't suggesting covering abstinence as part of a comprehensive sexual education program. I absolutely believe it should be covered. I just think it is one component and the other parts should not be ignored. I'm not arguing against abstinence education. I'm arguing against abstinence only education.