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Archive through July 03, 2009

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: May 2009 ~ July 2009: The Entertainment Place: Hollywood gossip, news & milestones: Archive through July 03, 2009 users admin

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Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 12:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
I had trauma in my childhood that haunts me to today but I would not describe it as purposeful abuse. Instead I am one of the lucky ones who seems to have been born with faulty wiring or chemistry. At the pinnacle of my illness, when it seemed as if I was going to just dissolve into some non-person, I was lucky enough to get help. Help that not only defined what was wrong with me (not my fault lol) but gave me hope that I could be fixed to the point where no one would know anything was out of the ordinary with me unless I told them.

At the time, I saw people who had been fixed but didn't stay fixed. And it was destroying any chance at normalcy in their lives. I made a decision to stay fixed. It isn't always easy but I think what has saved me was getting the right mind set.

That I got myself. But first others had to point out the problem to me and let me know it was fixable.

And I agree that intellectual capacity plays a big part in how easy it is to understand and act in positive ways.


Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 12:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Heck, I was almost 40 and just went to therapy after a breakup and it was quite some time of just fairly average (I guess) therapy and THEN a period of intense stress in life and at work that caused my dissociation defense to kick in more and I think only because the therapeutic relationship and trust were already there, he was suddenly seeing some little kids who held certain memories (and the ones who were always there to "look normal") and then as my stress increased there was all this strange writing appearing (no computer at home then) and "I" also trusted the therapist enough that I knew it was better to bring all the writing/drawings in to him, even when I didn't much like what some were saying, because some had completely taken in all the negative stuff.

And being ok to get help, whoa! Yes, what a concept!

And having a bunch of others can really cut down on your time, literally, if they aren't communicating. That was a huge part of my work, to embrace all the "me s", work with the negative ones, build a support system.. in time there was lots of written communication, and then finally being able to talk inside and gradually, some had told their part and simply merged. There was NO forcing by my therapist or agenda that they had to go away or merge.. as Dr Wilbur said, it just happens when it happens.. of course you can work around a merge, as we did for a couple of important ones, who just needed some element of ceremony, but mostly it was just , hmm I'm not hearing those internal voices now just know what they all brought to the table, how they protected (and at times thought they were still protecting when it was no longer helpful).

That reaching up can take metaphorical long arms, and take time and more work and of course you have to eventually realize you are worth that work.

Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 12:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
One more thing. It has been years since I studied psych. Yes the patient became the student. I am sure there is so much more to know about "wiring" and how behaviors cascade into other behaviors.

One thing I do know for certain. When someone is mentally ill and undiagnosed, they find pathways that seem to work for them. Those pathways are often full of potholes and worse. The only way to undo the wrong thinking is to put in the time with a good therapist. You do have to forgive yourself for bad decisions that you made and you have to learn how to make better decisions.

Personally, I like rational emotive behavior therapy. That is not the treatment I received, but is instead the therapy I later studied. But it is not the only road to wellness, I am sure. I just happen to think it is a really good one.


Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gidget a private message Print Post    
I just had a thought about what I think it was Kar said about early reading seeming to be a predictor of chances of recovery. Could that be because an early reader gets the additional language development to help them label and compartmentalize what is happening to them.

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
The point of her epilogue, as I see it, is that she took on a personal responsibility .



Is anyone else watching the video that has just been released of MJ in rehearsal? Wowser.

And, apparently, Debbie Rowe now says she wants custody.

Naja
Member

06-28-2003

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Naja a private message Print Post    
The promoters of MJs concert released 1 minute of his rehearsal from 2 days before he died. He looks good in it. Not ill.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/07/02/jackson.wrap/index.html

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Yes, I just watched it, he looked good. Well, as good as he can. To me he looked like a skeleton.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
I just saw that Naja..he did look good...

My brother in law died at 45...totally healthy, fit, active, good job...we had just spent a week camping and had a blast...he came home, took his young son on a bike ride and fell over and died.. No warnings, not even a inkling of a problem.... heart attack.... it happens.
Somtimes shit happens.....

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
wow, just heard that Debbie Row wants the kids...
here we go....

Tishala
Member

08-01-2000

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tishala a private message Print Post    
Chew, I think that might be written: "Debbie Row want$ the kid$$$"

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
All of you well educated in the mental health field, thank you for sharing your wisdom. I know of the self-mutalaters who hurt themsleves just to feel something. Could MS's constantly trying to change his face have a basis in something like that?

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
Told ya. LOL Rowe would run for the hills if a judge actually gave her custody, she could care less about those kids. She is just hoping a judge entertains the idea long enough to freak out the Jackson clam enough to part with some money. Just my opinion of course but it seems like a safe bet.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
No kidden Tish....I dont think she has a chance in hell....??

Naja
Member

06-28-2003

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 1:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Naja a private message Print Post    
Just a little clarification for my above post about MJ looking "good" at rehearsal...I really meant he looked like he always did to me, except maybe a little older.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 2:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
The truth is, the judge will have to take into account her possible custody since she is the biological mother, and regardless of whether they knew her or not, she may have the greatest 'legal' claim on the children. However, the judge also has to look at how she was paid off to relinquish contact twice; and that the children do not even know her. The judge will also have to take into account what the children want, since they are of that legal age.

In the end, the judge is the sole decider of what is in the "best interests" of the children, not the will, not anything else.

It's really a lot of judicial authority/discretion.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 2:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Seeing those clips.. I've been hearing how excited the dancers were to be chosen and rehearsing and then to meet Michael. Just a shame it ended so abruptly.

Exactly, Tisha.. Debbie Rowe wants the money, er.. oh yeah, the kids. Wonder which kids she wants? Would she leave the little brother twisting in the wind?

I know they have to consider her but with her track record, I hope they tell her to pound sand as far as having any control over money or sole custody. But I would hope she would want to have a relationship with them.. but.. 11, 12 years, what took her so long?

And yeah, there were the past payoffs for her to go away..

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 3:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
From ET Online:

ET can confirm that the hearing to determine custody of Michael Jackson's children has been delayed.

The hearing that had originally been set for Monday, July 6, has been rescheduled to Monday, July 13 at 8:30 a.m.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 4:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
I don't think it's likely that she will get custody. I do think she will get visitation, which unless she is abusive, I think is a good thing for the children. Any time a child thinks a parent didn't want them, for any reason, it's detrimental.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 4:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Yep, visitation could be a good thing.. they may have resentments (and of course the youngest son may feel sad not to know "his" mother, but still it never hurts to have someone on your side, or at least know who they are.

Brenda1966
Member

07-03-2002

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 8:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Brenda1966 a private message Print Post    
Visitation would be good, but I hope she wants to be involved in all 3 kids life, otherwise that would be a huge shame.

I'm sure the Jacksons will slide her some money to get her to back off. I have no illusions that this sudden interest doesn't have $$$ all around it.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Thursday, July 02, 2009 - 9:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
Did they ever announce how David Carradine died?

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Friday, July 03, 2009 - 6:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
Yes, sort of. But, I just don't buy it that he died by anyone else's hand but his own.

Colordeagua
Member

10-25-2003

Friday, July 03, 2009 - 8:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Colordeagua a private message Print Post    
What I have seen recently is "accidental asphyxiation".

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Friday, July 03, 2009 - 9:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
I just saw that it was "not suicide" but haven't clicked on a link yet for more details.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Friday, July 03, 2009 - 10:01 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Per MIchael Baden, but not official, I guess..

David Carradine