Author |
Message |
Sharinia
Member
09-07-2002
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 4:23 pm
I agree with Maris. It's way too premature to start thinking of Rihanna or Chris Brown as poster people for DV. They need to worry about themselves first. And frankly, I think it is presumptuous and unfair to put any pressure on celebs to be poster people for every tragedy, illness, etc in their lives. Maybe they just want to get their shit together, and never think about it again. Maybe they'd rather be charitable in other ways. Or not. It's their life and their choice, just like the rest of us.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 5:09 pm
It really is a curse that their lives play out in front of the media and cameras. I know that they want to promote themselves and their work but it is a shame that their personal lives are so scrutinized.
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 6:02 pm
CHECKBOOK JOURNALISM Price of Battered Rihanna Pic: $62,500 By Owen Thomas, 6:35 PM on Fri Feb 20 2009, 17,003 views There's a leak in TMZ.com chief Harvey Levin's ship of gossip. The Time Warner-owned gossip site paid $62,500 to get a police photo of singer Rihanna's facial injuries, TheMediaBuffet.com claims, citing a TMZ insider. The release of the photo, taken in the course of a police investigation into Rihanna's alleged battering at the hands of boyfriend and fellow R&B star Chris Brown, set off a media-ethics firestorm and an internal LAPD investigation. TMZ, like the National Enquirer, is known for engaging in checkbook journalism, a controversial practice where publications pay sources for information. Levin's site paid $165,000 for a tape of O.J. Simpson — a figure that TheMediaBuffet.com says was leaked by the same TMZ insider. Let's be honest: The TMZ leaker is the only hero of this piece. The attack on Rihanna was horrific. But knowing the price of the leaked photo? In an age where everyone is demanding more and more transparency, the fact that we have arrived at a market price on Rihanna's tragic injuries tells us more than we may want to know about ourselves.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 6:07 pm
On I didn't know Time Warner owns TMZ. Very disappointing. I think I'll let them know how I feel about this.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 6:15 pm
I can't get over the fact that people seem more outraged about the photo getting leaked than about the attack itself. I bet Chris Brown is relieved that a lot of focus is getting off of him.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 6:19 pm
I take it for granted that most people are sufficiently outraged about the attack. There are other issues involved, though, like the fact that TMZ paid a lot of money to violate a victim's privacy and that other media organizations were complicit in that violation by also airing it. So, yeah, the fact that she was beaten up annoys me, but so does the fact that she can't even maintain her dignity after the fact and everyone has to see her in a state I'm sure she has no desire to relive on the public stage.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 6:26 pm
Why does the public seeing her photos (that show what horrific actions were done to her) mean that she loses her dignity? I think they should be shown if for no other reason, so that the public can see what horrible things were done to her. Not for her to lose dignity, (as she has done nothing to lose it--unless she were to go back to him), but for him to lose dignity (as he should). JMO. (And yes, I do believe it is wrong for leaks like this to happen. That annoys me. But the fact that she was beaten and left on a side of a road outrages me.)
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 6:32 pm
I understand your position and we differ. Historically, we have not published photos of women who are beaten by men, for example, because we have a sense that it is a low point for them and, unless they choose to make them public, the press has allowed them that bit of privacy. I understand that you think they should be shown, but I am of the opinion that so few women press charges against men who beat them that it's probably a good idea to allow them that zone of privacy so they don't have yet another reason not to pursue their victimizers. YMMV
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 7:11 pm
I'm surprised nobody's posted about Keenan Thompson's comments yet. LINK Most outlets are only quoting the first part, but leaving off the "so I'm just saying, you have to learn that you can't put your hands on a female." portion of the quote. More sensational without it.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 7:15 pm
Such photos should only be published with the clear permission of the woman pictured. To steal her photo and publish it without her permission is yet another way to victimize her. Women in this situation have not made good choices for themselves. They need to step away from the camera and the limelight and figure out what healthy boundaries are before they do any public speaking. First, they need to learn to speak for themselves before they can be effective speakers on behalf of others.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 - 9:34 pm
Exactly, Rihanna is in no position to be a poster child at this point. Some people who are traumatized do try to skip the part where they need to heal and deal with their own issues and become stronger themselves and jump into helping others. Most legitimate organizations would not allow her to do that at this point.. she needs support herslf. And while it certainly will help that she has the means to get help, the hard part is the same for all and it will be hard for her too. There is no way that she needs, at this point, to sacrifice her privacy and dignity and it is shameful that money changed hands to obtain and use the picture. I posted a link to thesmokinggun site awhile back and they were quite irate about this and pointed out that TMZ had previously argued that they were right to publish the picture/name of a celebrity's child who was molested BECAUSE he was a celebrity.. of course this is total BS. I have no respect at all for Harvey Levin or TMZ. And they know VERY well that once the pictures are on the internet they can be used to further traumatize.. like the case where the 16 year old girl locally took her dad's porsche without permission and crashed it into a toll booth and the crash photos of her horribly disfigured body were leaked by a CHP employee and this girl's family was.. the only word is tortured by people sending them emails with the picture and I don't know if they ever will get the pictures down from every website. If Rihanna can put in some work and come out stronger, even then, it is her choice how she might want to pass it on.. some people want to speak publicly, some want to help counsel others, some may want to donate to support others who are helping people.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 6:39 am
Wow, if the Star story is true and she wants him back & is worried sick about him, (here is the quote: We report that, to the shock of many, the singer has stayed in touch with her battering beau — and her unhealthy devotion to him is making those close to the abused singer worried sick. "She keeps saying she wants to make sure that he's okay," a friend tells Star. "She thinks this will all just blow over and they can go back to how they were.") then I give up. If she doesn't care, then why should I? It's just too bad. And it is from the Star, so hopefully it is all wrong.
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Hermione69
Member
07-24-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 6:50 am
Julieboo, there is a dynamic to the abuser/abused relationship that is difficult to understand, but often the abused feel like it is their own fault and that they provoked it and deserved it. It's a really hard mindset to get out of and you shouldn't judge her for it. I've been there and I know. It took me four years to get out of mine. Abusers are often highly manipulative and the abused very sensitive and insecure. It usually takes time, support, and a lot of work to see abusive situations clearly for those in the midst of them.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 7:09 am
That is sad. I truly am not judging her. I just hope there are enough strong people to make sure she does not think this is her fault and help guide her to a good path. Good for you Hermie, to get out of a situation like that!
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 5:21 pm
That is a major problem with domestic violence.. it is the hardest thing to "get". I know when I trained for rape crisis we had some DV training and it was hard for me not to feel frustration with those going back. I wrestled with that, since I wanted to be able to serve that population as well as anyone else who might call when I was on the hot line. So about a year later, I went through quite a few hours of training at a local women's shelter and of course did lots of reading all along and I could better understand that cycle. Other traumatic/abusive relationships that are difficult to understand happen with cult members and hostage situations or kidnap situations. What Hermie said.. a person just keeps trying to fix it, make it right, do the right thing so it will be better.. I now can be frustrated, yet remain sympathetic, supportive and helpful, but I can understand wanting to wash hands of such a situation. I can imagine that Rihanna's family feels helpless in a way. And those in Barbados must feel far away.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 7:31 pm
I think part of my lack of outrage is that I don't know who he is nor who she is. So, I don't feel like I "know" them like I did a Mel Gibson or a Kramer, and I can't feel disappointed and betrayed by their inexcusible behavior. Is he a rapper? I also don't know much about that music, so don't feel any connection to it. I do feel horrible for her and hope she kicks him to the curb before it's too late.
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Sharinia
Member
09-07-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 8:40 pm
"She keeps saying she wants to make sure that he's okay," a friend tells Star. "She thinks this will all just blow over and they can go back to how they were." It usually takes time, support, and a lot of work to see abusive situations clearly for those in the midst of them. I'm guessing that all of the love and best wishes to the both of them didn't help.... eta: not meaning to sound judgmental here, but for real...Chris Brown has shown himself to be dangerous. when ppl don't treat it that way (with alarm and outrage), it makes it more likely imo that Rihanna and women like her will be lulled into thinking otherwise - not good.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 12:56 pm
Paula Deen's pants fall down. Thank God for Spanx. I think I would have looked for sharp objects if a thong was involved.
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 2:30 pm
Who is that lady and why is she showing people her hiney?
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 2:41 pm
LOL Gal, that's Paula Deen, I call her the butter lady. She's a very southern chef? cook? along with her two boys (Jamie and uh...I forget the other ones name.) She has a couple shows, along with them, on the food network and is a hoot to watch. I find her a blast to watch, other shows they're cooking light and healthy-ish and Paula's like throw a slab of butter in, ok, maybe a bit more.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 3:27 pm
Bobby is the other son.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 1:01 am
She's manic and funny in small doses and I guess her cooking is basically fodder a heart attack waiting to happen. She's quite popular on QVC too. The funniest thing I saw was when she was on Oprah and somehow one of them dropped a little bowl into a blender and it flew out and they couldn't stop giggling. But it looks like it WAS on youtube but has been pulled.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 3:00 pm
I love how Paula goes along with anything. She's a riot.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 - 10:36 pm
Tom Brady & Gisele Bündchen quietly got married in a small, private ceremony in Santa Monica, Calif. on Thursday, sources tell PEOPLE. The New England Patriots quarterback and the Brazilian supermodel wed just before 6 p.m. at St. Monica's church, less than a mile from the beach. Brady's 1 ½ son, John Edward Thomas, was present at the wedding. They followed the wedding with a small gathering at their Brentwood home.
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Friday, February 27, 2009 - 12:16 am
*sob* 
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