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Merrysea
Moderator
08-13-2004
| Saturday, April 11, 2009 - 4:43 pm
I'd suggest calling CPS and just asking them about it. They're generally pretty friendly and helpful. They look into cases of abuse and neglect; that sounds like it could fall under the category of neglect. And you can ask without making an official report.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 4:23 pm
If you are that worried, call 1-800-4-A-Child and tell them your fears. They will make the determination if somebody should be called, and will do the calling.
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 4:27 pm
Serate, does that work in any state?
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 4:29 pm
Yes Holly as far as I know.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 4:31 pm
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the United States, its territories, and Canada, the Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in 140 languages. The Hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are anonymous and confidential. The Hotline has received more than 2 million calls since it began in 1982. These calls come from children at risk for abuse, distressed parents seeking crisis intervention and concerned individuals who suspect that child abuse may be occurring. The Hotline is also a valuable resource for those who are mandated by law to report suspected abuse, such as school personnel, medical and mental health professionals and police and fire investigators. Publicity in local and national media plays a key role in promoting awareness of the Hotline number. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline has been featured on Oprah, The Today Show, Montel, and NBC's Crime and Punishment and its "The More You Know" public service announcement campaign. The Hotline has also been mentioned in HBO and MTV documentaries about sexual abuse, on Lifetime Television Network, and in Dear Abby and Seventeen magazine advice columns. The Hotline receives no government funding. It is supported by the generous contributions of concerned organizations, foundations and individuals. http://www.childhelp.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 4:37 pm
I used it when my 13 year old niece was left to stay with a 21 year old "family friend" as my SIL put it. Yeah right. All I had was niece's name, his first name, and the city she was living in. With in 30 minutes the police and DHS were knocking on his door.
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Holly
Member
07-22-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 4:49 pm
Oh wow. That's pretty impressive.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 5:38 pm
Yeah but remember I live in Podunk, IA and our "cities" aren't all that big. *L* But still, in this case it was quick, and nobody knows Aunty serate was the culprit. AND, the way the 21 year old "family friend" showed his true colors so the break was complete, legally and emotionally.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 5:42 pm
I used it once and was VERY disappointed. I saw a mom take her kid in a Kohl's bathroom and then into a stall and heard her beat the kid. I followed her in and told her that child abuse was not appreciated. Then I followed her to her car and took her license plate. Called 1-800-4aChild and the police and long story short--nothing was done.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 6:57 pm
The national hotline can't really do much in on the spot instances. But they do help kids daily. In the case I was talking about, they showed up at the house, it was quite obvious that it was just the 21 yo and the 13 yo living there, and whether they were having sex or not [and they were] it was deemed potential child abuse. Even tho my SIL said it was OK for niece to live there.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 7:47 pm
Beckie, are these children of the "friend" you recently had a falling out with? Just wondering. Children have "milk teeth" and it doesn't come from neglect, it comes from sleeping with a bottle. And I'm confused as to how the other child was diagnosed with a tapeworm when you said the mother didn't take her to the doctor while she complained of a stomach ache for a week. Unless you have more proof than you've said here, calling the cps can basically destroy this family's life. JB, spanking a child in the bathroom or beating? How could you tell if the stall door was closed? My mother would have wailed on our asses if we misbehaved in a public place. It wasn't abusive, it was discipline.
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Beckie03
Member
07-05-2007
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:02 pm
huk, no they are not. those kids are so well taken care of. huk, this also isn't the first time that they have had problems like this. CPS has already been called (both girls has tons of bruises on them - guess from where). They also never go to the hospital. They have a younger brother, who is one, and doesn't have any shots (and, no, these are not the type of people who don't believe in vaccinations, they just don't give a shit). The older girl is now in dentures in the front of her mouth because the decay in her mouth was so bad, she couldn't keep any permanent teeth in front. She lost those when she was 5. Never drank milk or water, just straight sugar drinks. As with the younger girl, never has milk or water. Her teeth (or what's left) are black. When I researched a bit more (I was told that she had worms, probably tape)...I think it is pinworms, which is pretty common in young kids. Just not sure how she got it; well I mean I have ideas from when I looked it up, but her case specifically idk. and serate...thank you. i'll look into that and probably call tomorrow. Thanks again!!
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:09 pm
Man, I was friggin abused when I was a kid. I was covered head to toe in bruises, all.the.time. And my mother didn't do the doctor thing with us either. I was probably 6 or 7 and had such a bad kidney infection that I was passing blood before I was taken in. Hmmm...we don't even start getting our adult teeth until somewhere around 7 years of age
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Watching2
Member
07-07-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:09 pm
Also, if you see something immediate, call 911. There would probably be a police car in the area which could respond quickly. I just edited this whole post since there were responses to questions I asked before I posted.
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:14 pm
Beckie, I'm sorry but you are mistaken. Children do not have permanent teeth at 5. I think you are wanting very much to call in these people but I don't think its for the welfare of the kids. You should just let it be.
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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:18 pm
We don't get to decide what is or isn't worthy of calling. If we have any concerns about a child being neglected or abused, we should call and let the authorities do what they are paid to do - investigate. If there is nothing wrong at that household, then there won't be an issue. If there is something wrong, then they can intervene.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:29 pm
IMO, if a person comes to a discussion forum to ask what they should do, then the abuse was questionable. If I had ANY doubt, I would call immediately. I think our gut reaction is usually the right one. It went from the child having a tapeworm to "I was told she had worms, probably tape", it sounds like it isn't something that was witnessed at all.
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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 8:32 pm
And our concern doesn't have to be in the form of "personally witnessed". My post was just a contribution to the discussion asking what should we think should be done.
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Merrysea
Moderator
08-13-2004
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 9:02 pm
Beckie, personally, I think you should just look up your county CPS in the phone book and give them a call. Tell them your concerns, and they will tell you if it's something they need to look into. If they don't think it's important, they won't even ask for names.
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Beckie03
Member
07-05-2007
| Sunday, April 12, 2009 - 9:45 pm
I planned on calling tomorrow, merry. my only complaint (why I even posted) was that these girls have been living with this for years and CPS has been called before and nothing has happened. Maybe they don't see it has being harmful. To me, it is just completely sad - these are the type of girls (because of how they were not raised) who will end up getting pregnant at an early age and sleep around at an early age and get into trouble. this lady has 10 kids and only has custody of 3 of them - and only because the dad wants nothing to do with one, the dad is dead for the other, and her boyfriend is the last kid's dad. really think she is a good parent? and huk, she has been telling her mom that she has worms coming out of her when she poops and THE MOM DOES NOT CARE. she just told her aunt, whenever i posted my first post about this, and the aunt is going to take the girl to the doctor tomorrow. Too bad the mom, who has custody, doesn't care enough to do that.
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Biscottiii
Member
05-29-2004
| Monday, April 13, 2009 - 2:52 am
Seems like when the Doctor checks out the little girl for worms, he's most likely going to see the teeth issue and potential bruises, as well. They don't just check one part of a child's body without checking out the rest. I say Beckie should make her call (and rest her mind that she DID something to bring it to the attention of authorities should they opt to pursue). By the same token, I wouldn't be surprised that the Doctor is doing some speed-dialing to authorities himself, as required by law.
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Biloxibelle
Member
12-21-2001
| Monday, April 13, 2009 - 7:10 am
Calling CPS or even having them called on 'you' is not always a bad thing. I know just the thought of it conjures up a no nonsense woman dressed in black swooping in to whisk the kids off to horrible orphanage. That is not how it works. Today's CPS workers for the most part are very welled trained. They are well versed in programs that can help. Their main goal is training and educating in order to keep the families together in a safe, productive environment. Sometimes the problem is as simple is an overwhelmed parent who doesn't know where to turn and what to do. CPS can set them up with child care, job training, getting their GED, medical, organizations that will help you with filling out job apps, resumes, help with job related clothing, they can help with filling out and applying for college grants and loans. Substance abuse help and placing of the children while help is being sought if need be. The biggest hurdle can be the resistance of some people either not wanting to help themselves or being so afraid of CPS they aren't open to the help they can offer. Of course all that changes in the cases of abuse or neglect where the children are in immediate harm. Beckie if the child is going to the doctor today and he sees any abuse or neglect he is a mandated reported. He will call CPS.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 13, 2009 - 8:29 am
If there is any doubt, call. I don't think it would ruin the family at all. If someone called DCF on me, I would be confused, but I would say, come on in. Check out what you need to. Ask my kids any questions you want. I would be happy to see that people do check up on other people. And I think it is WRONG for a mom to take her kid into a bathroom stall and start wailing. (and I heard the repeated smacks--it was not just one!) Now if a kid is acting up and the mom wants to smack the kid on the butt in front of others, I don't think I'd have a problem with that. But when a mom needs privacy to hit her child, that sends a red flag up for me! Not to mention, I saw what the supposed "infraction" was. This kid was in a stroller with another sibling. The sibling took the book out of the kid's hand. The mom saw that. Also, the kid who was getting beat was no more than 2. More like 18 months. That is so wrong. The mom did not so much as say, "Please give the book back to your sister." Nope, she yanked that kid (by the way, she left her two other kids ALONE (they were about 2 1/2 and 4) and went into the bathroom. So anyways, it was a clear case of abuse. The reason why the ppl at the 800 number would not come help is that they asked if I saw any bruises or blood. Well, I am sure the kid had bruises all over her butt and legs and maybe even arms, but she had long pants and a long sleeved shirt on, so no, I saw no bruises or blood. But that kid was still beaten. Plus it generally takes a bit for bruises to show. Uggh. At any rate, yes Beckie, you should call. Better safe than sorry. And you may be the only advocate those kids may ever have. And, yes, kids do indeed start getting their permanent teeth at age 5. It varies per kid, but kindergarten (age 5-6) is when the baby teeth start falling out and get replaced with their first permanents.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, April 13, 2009 - 8:50 am
I did volunteer training for CASA (court appointed social advocoates). They are the volunteers who do alot of the legwork/research when an allegation of abuse is made. They said one of the hardest things to prosecute is 'diciplinary abuse', because many times it's a matter of perspective. What one considers abuse another sees as diclipline. That all they can really do is try to educate the person on other techniques of discipline.
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Denecee
Member
09-05-2002
| Monday, April 13, 2009 - 10:40 am
Oh, Julieboo, that story of the mom taking the 18 month old in a stall just makes me want to cry. I know that there are a lot of injustices being done to little ones but to witness it and not be able to do anything just hurts. I hope that if I would have heard/seen something like that, I would have at least tried to talk the lady back from the edge she seemed to be on. No 18 month old should be spanked like that, a little pat on the hand and a stern voice should have been enough.
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