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Archive through November 04, 2008

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Oct. 2008 - Dec. 2008: Free Expressions: The return of The Return of the Gripe Thread: Archive through November 04, 2008 users admin

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Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Monday, October 27, 2008 - 8:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Although more immature, it's easier for people to not confront one another.

I wouldn't even consider talking with her since you know clearly that she was talking about you and basically ending the friendship behind your back.

If you think she still wants to be friends, be prepared to be in a friendship with conditions (hers). That is not a real friendship. It is time to move on and let her live her perfect little life, surrounded by asskissers.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Monday, October 27, 2008 - 9:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
From my experience Neko, friendships are fluid. Because people change, sometimes due to whatever is happening in their lives at the time, or just over time itself (drifting apart, moving away, etc), as well as of course, misunderstandings. I've had some close friendships grow apart and then later on we became stronger than ever! And I've had friendships I thought were solid, combust on me, because I didn't know the other person as well as I thought I did, which is always shocking and painful. It's a stinky part of life, but it IS a part of life. One nice thing is that over time, we'll make new friends to incorporate with the old ones who are rock solid. Not sure if I am making my point here or going off on a tangent, sorry. I'm trying to say that friendships are fluid and each person is different, and therefore each friendship's dynamics are different. I hope you and your friend come to an understanding and that it will make your friendship more solid for the future.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Monday, October 27, 2008 - 9:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I have a rule, and it works, and I wish I would have had it when I was younger:

If you are going to take the time to be angry with someone, take the time to let them know why.


Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Monday, October 27, 2008 - 4:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
My gripe is about people who are upset with you, but don't tell you and just stop involving you in their life.

Neko, I'm sorry. It always hurts when this happens. I think Mame's post has a lot of wisdom. I've had this happen to me. I can't even tell you the betrayal I felt that this person I trusted with my innermost secrets would just turn her back on me so completely. It's a hard life's lesson that you can't always trust the people you thought you could and that friendships don't always last. It sounds like the way she handled it was rather passive-aggressive and mean. You probably are going to have to ask yourself if you really want to be friends with someone who would treat you this way.

Another thing that kind of occurred to me that piggybacks on the fluidity that Mame was talking about. Is this a college friend or a childhood friend? Isn't this a transitory time in your life? A lot of college friendships don't last past college. And a lot of childhood friendships don't last past high school. It's hard, but you just grow into such different people and you find you just don't have anything in common anymore.

I will tell you that my (few, thankfully!) failed friendships have made me appreciate the true one I have even more. I have friends in my life that would do anything for me and I would do anything for them. That's the good stuff!

Good luck!

Neko
Member

08-03-2001

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 - 7:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Neko a private message Print Post    
I don't think she was talking behind my back about me to anyone but our mutual best friend, who would have been the person she vented to.

Though, I met her "new" BFF (as she referred to him. I don't believe she meant it in the way that it came off, since we're both people who can have numerous best friends, but saying that was kinda calleous) and he didn't seem to like me. He was very drunk at the time, but if she had ever said anything to me about me, that would explain it I guess.

Anyway, I'm going to have this talk with her no matter what. I want to get her complete side of the story before making any judgments, since even though she wasn't fair to me by just removing me, I still want to be fair to her by not making any judgments about her reasoning based on hear-say from our friend.

Thanks for letting me vent guys. I might be back after "the talk" but who knows.

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 - 10:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
You seem to have a good head on your shoulder about it, Neko. Good luck!

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Sunday, November 02, 2008 - 12:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
Right now I'm hanging on the phone to clear up a Medicare error....just shoot me now!

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Sunday, November 02, 2008 - 12:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
Actually, it wasn't too bad. I got to talk to a human in 3-4 minutes.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Sunday, November 02, 2008 - 12:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
Way to go, OG! :-)

Texasdeb
Member

05-23-2003

Sunday, November 02, 2008 - 3:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texasdeb a private message Print Post    
I get a phone call from boss about an hr ago. We're doing a remodel of our building & the new carpet laying was to be done on 3 wk-ends. They did the 1st part last wk-end & were supposed to do everything but my office this wk-end. I had planned to completely shut down our file server & totally dismantle & remove all comp. equipment from my office - had planned to inform corp. so they would know why there would be no activity from Fri. eve till Mon. or Sun. I also have all new furniture (except for my comp. desk cause it's the best) & the new furn. was to be moved back into the office instead of the old. I had planned to go through 10 yrs of stuff (that's how long it's been since we last got new carpet). I totally intended to go through everything in my office & discard stuff that is no longer needed & organize everything remaining. I even have the boxes there just waiting on me to do that throughout this wk.

Well, boss tells me that he went by the office to ck on things & the carpet layers got messed up & totally demolished my office. Oh, it has new carpet - but he says we have a horrible mess. I'm pretty sure I'll have to go blind hooking back up all of the comp. equip. I had a plan & this is all screwed up now.

The thing is, I had nothing to do with this remodeling except picking out & ordering the new furniture. Boss was out of town all wk last wk but assured me that the carpet laying schedule was down so I didn't have to worry about preparing for my office until this wk. Boss has a way of understanding himself & not making sure others affected are on the same page - not sure if this is the case but I think he should have been more involved with the carpet layers or asked me to take care of it. Boss has requested that I come in an hr or 2 earlier tomorrow (says he is too) so we can make sence out of this mess. He was really nice on the phone - but, I have to blame him to some degree because he knew he would be out of town all wk & he didn't share any other info. with me about the remodel except the wk-end laying schedule. Someone could/should have followed through & I would have been more than happy to be that person since it's my stuff that's all messed up now. I don't even know the Co. that's doing the carpet laying so I couldn't have contacted them if I would have wanted to & Boss assured me that MY concern wouldn't be until the next wk-end. I'm steaming.

Beckie03
Member

07-05-2007

Sunday, November 02, 2008 - 9:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beckie03 a private message Print Post    
ita, texas. your boss should have either been more involved or let you get more involved. it does seem like his mind was probably off and wasn't thinking...which probably wasn't the smartest thing in the world for him to do.

Texasdeb
Member

05-23-2003

Monday, November 03, 2008 - 6:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texasdeb a private message Print Post    
How true Beckie - he dose this alot. Anyway, I get to the office @ 6:30 this morn. & whoa.... it's worse than I could have imagined. I start hunting & sorting & putting things up that won't be effected when we change out the furn. later in the wk. I go to the svc mgr's office & try to get into his comp. & nope - not working. I call into my network support dept. @ corp. & they put a svc call in, I go back to cleaning & organizing. Boss arrives @ 7:20 & I get one of those none spoken high-5's cause he could tell that I had been a busy beaver already. He totally took charge of the system issues & worked through with corp. support getting everything hooked back up - well almost everything - my personal color printer & scanner still aren't being recognized by the syst. but, I can deal with that. He spent over 1/2 the day doing what he did & I was very appreciative. Maybe everything will get back to normal by the end of the wk.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 11:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
I am so angry right now. I scheduled my eye appt 6 weeks ago. While Caleb has used this eye dr for years, it was my first time to their office, so I left early and got there with plenty of time to fill out new patient papers and still have a few minutes before my appt at 9:15. I got there a right behind a family of 6 and while waiting in line, the receptionist told them that because their appts started at 11:30, they'd have to wait to be called.

I filled out my paperwork and then sat down to wait. And wait and wait and wait. At 10, they started to call this family in so I went up and asked. My appt was at 9:15, I was here plenty early enough, am I about to be called in? Oh no, they decided to follow the order on the list rather than the appt times so I was now behind all 6 of these family members whose appts weren't supposed to be til 11:30!

I've never in my life walked out of a drs office because of wait times. I understand things happen, they might be behind or someone else may be sicker, I've had appts where they've called me or the kids in ahead of others cuz of being sicker...I understand. But that just blew me away. Told the receptionist I was leaving, that I'd waited almost an hour, was there early, and shouldn't have to wait behind people who showed up more than two hours before theirs, and maybe next time I could be seen somewhere near my appt time! Course now I'm kicking myself cuz it'll take six weeks at least to get a new appt and I really need a new prescription, but that was such bad business practice as far as I'm concerned. What the heck is the point of an appt?

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 12:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
Eww, I would have walked as well! I hope you get a phone-call and apology before the day is out.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 12:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
I already have Rissa! I came home after I left there to address and stamp some mail for my aunt and drop it in the mail box, then went to vote, and when I came home there was a message on the answering machine from the office manager. She told me to call back at my convienience to schedule another appt and they'd do their best to get me in as soon as possible. I'm not really counting on that, in the 7 years Caleb's been going there, we've never waited less than 6 weeks.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 12:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
That is mind boggling and completely crazy. I can't imagine what they were thinking of doing that.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 1:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Actually, I would change doctors. Having to wait six weeks is excessive, first of all. And while the office manager realized an error was made and called to apologize, that was major enough that I'd never give them any other business.

Kitt
Member

09-06-2000

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 1:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kitt a private message Print Post    
I hate it when they do that in general, but with a family of six it's inexcusable. Why give people appointment times unless they mean something?

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 1:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
We're conflicted Costa. Our new vision insurance (the one that pays for dang near everything including one pair of glasses a year and is totally awesome) only offers a couple doctors in our area in their plan.

Darren and I weren't really concerned about the dr's...our insurance was so lousy with vision we just went anywhere, tried to stay with the same dr but if something changed we had no issue changing drs.

Caleb has seen these people since he was 5. What we like is it's a group of drs, they have a couple who are pediatric eye drs (that was a huge plus,) they know Caleb and his history, and most important, Caleb is comfortable with them.

When we got the new insurance, we decided to have the whole family go to the same place, would just be easier than 2-3 eye drs. I've always waited for appts, like I said, but it really isn't much of a big deal with Caleb...his annual check up is August/September so I know to call in July to set up an appt. Our average wait time is 30 minutes in the office, no biggie (though when Darren had his appt last month it took over an hour just cuz they were super busy.) I do know Oct - Dec are their busiest time of the year too.

On the other hand, Darren's already upset with them. They totally screwed up his new glasses and had to send them back. It took twice as long to get them back as they told him it would and then when he called Friday the woman told him she'd called on the 27th to say they were in. I told him that wasn't true...I'd called Tuesday to ask about them (even went back to check the email I sent Darren at work about calling them and it was dated the 28th) and they told me the glasses weren't back yet. Neither of us is happy with that!

But, I keep coming back to with Caleb we've never had any problems like this and they're great with him.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 2:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
I don't wait for doctors. Ever. If they can't call me to tell me the doc is running late (like if my OB/GYN has an emergency delivery), then I'll walk out. My time is just as valuable as theirs and if they can't respect that, they don't get my business. Plain and simple.

My regular doctor, my shoulder surgeon, my eye doctor, my dentist, my OB/GYN... every single one of them sees me within a few minutes of my checking in, then getting in to a room. There was one time my GYN had me sitting and waiting, already gowned up, and I got dressed, walked back out to reception, and told them I was cancelling my appointment and that I dared them to charge me a late cancellation charge after making me wait in the room, already gowned (and freezing) for over 45 minutes. (No, they didn't charge me, and yes, I got a new GYN.)

99.9% of the time, doctors know how much time they'll need with patients and should be scheduling appts accordingly.

What they did to you, taking that family in first because they were there first, was so wrong it's not even funny. I'd actually post a Yelp note and contact the BBB for something like that. As someone said, isn't that why you make appointments? And why the heck didn't the receptionist tell them to go away and come back closer to appt time? TWO HOURS early? Hello?

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 3:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
You are lucky you can do that Costa. It took me over half a year to find a family doc who was taking new patients, am lucky that I like her but even if I didn't I would be hard-pressed to find another. My doc frequently keeps patients waiting for long periods but to be fair.. once you are in there, she takes as long as YOU want. Doesn't rush you and stays as long as you have questions/concerns. Knowing she is doing that for another patient makes it easier to wait. My daughter has a bunch of specialists to see and every time is a wait but our family doc pulled strings and got her in with the head of the depts at the best Children's Hospital in the province... so I would leave and go to the second best? Hard choices. I try to book my appt's for first of the day or first after lunch, that way I have a minimum wait-time. Perhaps once the gov't has fixed our doc/patient ratio issues I will be able to get my snark back. :-)

So glad they called Wargod, hopefully there will be an office discussion about the situation and it won't be repeated (for you or other patients) whether or not you decide to return.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 3:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
The kids have their ped and we love them. We've been with them 10 years, several drs in the practice and they're just awesome with kids. They talk to the kids and know the kids. The main dr is a pediatric allergy/asthma dr which is big with us because of Kota and in the last 18 months they've added a female dr and a female PA (they didn't have any women drs/pa's before that) and again with Kota, at 10, I think that's a pretty big deal. At times we have to wait a long time, especially if we're going in for an urgent care appt, but I don't mind with them because once they get with us, we get the same treatment and they'll spend as long as they need to talking and answering questions.

I have a GI dr I've never had problems with. My ob/gyn is sometimes iffy, I've waited a while while he came back from the hospital or ran over to check someone, if he's going to be long he'll call and reschedule or you can wait if you want. My own primary care dr, I rarely see and really couldn't say what was normal with him.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 4:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
I've been seeing my regular (internal med) doc for over 15 years. He lives in my 'hood, and occasionally I run into him at Trader Joe's or Ralph's (or he drives up along side me as I'm walking to wolf whistle at me).

He knows I get cranky if I have to wait. But he is a great doctor and answers any questions I have.

But I, too, almost always book first appt of the day (or really close to first appt). That way, I'm almost always guaranteed to be in 'n out quickly. Fortunately, almost all my docs are in my 'hood, so it's quick 'n easy to get there, get in, get out, and get back home. Often, I can go see my doc and get back home before anyone knows I left my (home) office.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 4:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Oh, and I have also walked out of vet offices, when they've kept me waiting. :-)

Landileigh
Member

07-29-2002

Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 4:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landileigh a private message Print Post    
that's why i've always tried to book the first appt of the day, or the first appt after lunch.