Author |
Message |
Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 10:26 am
LOL Mocha. Grass is always greener... I had a big (not massive but good size) wedding with all the expected *bells and whistles*. DH and I have talked about how if we had to do it over, we would elope or courthouse and then have a big celebration party when we return. The dress, the cake, etc are not the memories we hold on to. The original question/point was not the lavishness of the wedding but that it will be in another country so guests are being asked to put out for airfare, hotel, etc if they want to attend. I agree that if the couple is paying then they should go as lavish and outrageous as they want, it's their day.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 10:28 am
Mocha, my sister's 4th wedding is a "destination wedding" in Puerto Vallarta. She had her travel agent send a "save the date" card. I was mostly looking for polite ways to send regrets and not feel guilty. (She'll be 50, this is her 4th wedding.) Roxi, I'm pretty sure she'll get married. She does the getting married thing well, it's the staying married part not so much. Although mom seems to think this one is a keeper. I dunno. (Me? I think he's got zero personality and she walks all over him. But whatEVER!) The difference between us is I don't need (or want) a man to make me "whole." She's very needy in that regards. So, I'm single, staying single, and loving it. With no intention of ever getting married.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 10:39 am
Ahh gotcha an thx.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 10:54 am
Thanks, Costa! 
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 10:56 am
4th wedding? Ok, if you couldn't keep those promises (vows) the first 3 times around.......just sayin..
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:14 am
LOL Escapee. My family doesn't have much luck with marriages. Both mom and dad took three times to get it right (their third marriages have lasted longer than their first and second ones combined... both celebrated 30 something years recently). My sister's marriages average about two to four years. The day of her second wedding, my mom and I were placing bets as to how long it would last (nice, huh?). Is it any wonder marriage isn't a priority for me? LOL.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:16 am
Hey sometimes shit just doesn't work out.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:17 am
Costa, both my parents (mom and dad each) have been married and divorced at least twice (my mom 3 times, my dad 2 times, his dad divorced 2 times, his mom divorced 3 times) So when we got married we VOWED not to follow the mistakes of our parents. We consider it a life sentence with no hope for parole, lol. I love it when my mom or his mom try to give relationship advice. Thanks, but no thanks. Mocha, ITA, sometimes it doesn't.
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Suz
Member
10-13-2005
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:18 am
Is your business listed here somewhere Karuuna?
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Kookliebird
Member
08-04-2005
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:22 am
(Me? I think he's got zero personality and she walks all over him. But whatEVER!) Maybe that is what she has been looking for all along.....
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:25 am
Kooklie, that's what she's gotten in each of her other three marriages. Well, the third one was also a know it all redneck, but she still walked all over him. Number 4 reminds me of Number 2. The only reason she married Number 2 was cuz of his money (and when he started to lose money she lost interest). Number 1 was very young so we gave her a pass on him, sorta. Number 3 was a total jerk but that was her longest lasting relationship (she moved in with Number 3 when she left Number 2, they lived together here for some time then moved to Colorado and lived together for 7 years before getting married and then was married for 2 years or so). She does rebound marriages good. 
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:33 am
Oh, and don't forget the expense of a passport, which on a limited budget isn't THAT affordable (I know because mine has expired and I need to get Shelby one before we travel again and I'm putting it off because I just don't have the money to spare right now). My parents have been married for 58 years and still love one another dearly. I consider myself very blessed.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 11:59 am
I'd actually mentioned that on my last post and then deleted it. None of the four members of my family (mom/hubby, dad/wife) have passports.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 12:11 pm
Suz, I don't list it too much on the board, since I don't want anyone to feel pressured. But if you are interested, it's www.bkeepsakes.com. Thanks for asking!
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Suz
Member
10-13-2005
| Monday, November 03, 2008 - 2:23 pm
Thank you Karuuna. Very nice.
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Happymom
Member
01-20-2003
| Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 2:58 pm
Costa, if she were my sister, I would tell her that I am so happy and excited for her, that I love her very much, and that it is just too expensive and that I am so sorry I won't be able to be there. After the wedding, I would ask about every little detail and listen to everything at length. As for the not feeling guilty...that may be tough. Feelings are feelings and there's no stopping them. They just happen. But guilt feelings are not the end of the world. Just feel them and let them go. But hopefully, you won't feel guilty!
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Pippin04
Member
10-26-2007
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 9:02 am
I need some advice........... This holiday season we are planning to travel. Over the past little while we have attempted to coordinate our travels with the family of my daughter's boyfriend. We live in Canada and he lives in Ireland. So it is his family's turn to pick the travel destination. They picked Cape Town South Africa for two weeks. They have been several times and say it is very nice. South Africa does not seem safe to me and I have many concerns. Has anyone been there or know someone who has been? I am looking for some opinions here. We just found out you have to bring money with you as the atms often get bombed and you should not go out at night. P.S. Costa......tell your sister you are not able to make it and do not feel guilty. But have the hotel send a basket of chanpagne or fruit or flowers on her wedding day so she nkows you are thinking of her.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 9:25 am
Zuzu!! You're help is needed here!!
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 9:53 am
Pippin, a real good friend of mine lived in SA for years. He recently moved to Norway (talk about culture and weather shock). We talked earlier this year about his move, and while he says it's still "safe" there, there's a lot that's not. I'm pretty sure he wasn't in Cape Town, though, so YMMV. Happymom, believe me, I won't have to ask for the details. My sister, when she calls to wish me a happy birthday? "Hi, how are you, happy birthday, so this is what I'VE been doing blah blah blah me me more me, gotta run bye!" And I can't use the expensive thing cuz I make more $$ than she does (although probably not combined with her fiancee). Anyways, it's been resolved. Not going. 
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Grooch
Member
06-16-2006
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 10:04 am
Mocha, are you trying to get Zuzu banned from another thread? lol!
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 10:44 am
Lolol
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 11:45 am
Thanks, Mocha, here I am. Pippin, we were in Cape Town for about four days in April of this year following a cruise. Now, granted we were with a tour group, and they knew where to go. But if the friends have been before, they most likely also know where to go. And where not to go. I do recall our tour guide saying he does NOT recommend tourists stay downtown or even go downtown, as it is not safe. We stayed at the Victoria Junction Protea Hotel, and it seemed a very safe area. We found ATM's close to the hotel at a gas station and didn't have any trouble getting money. Well, I did have a problem with one of my ATM cards getting eaten by the machine. I always carry at least two ATM cards from different banks or credit unions, with money in both accounts, as insurance against just such an occurence when we travel overseas. Ditto two different credit cards, preferably one of which is from a credit union, and you only get charged a 1% international fee instead of 3%. The Cape Town area is very beautiful, and I would strongly encourage you to go. There is lots to see and do. If your friends want to take you into a township, do not be afraid to go, especially if it is a tour stop. The townships are where most of the black people live. They look like absolute shacks in slums, but our tour guide pointed out that the people are not necessarily poor, and that it is a lifestyle. The black people do not have to live there, as they once did, but now they prefer living there. It was amazing that we even got our big tour bus in there, but we visited a B&B in a township. Some of the people were too scared or too something to even get off the bus. The rest of us had a great time interacting with the friendly folks. Go to the District Six museum. Go see the penguins. Go to the wine country and visit a couple wineries. Go to the Cape of Good Hope. Go up Table Mountain. Go on a safari. Here is a nice little blog about the townships and the District Six Museum. http://www.eveandersson.com/south-africa/cape-town GO to Cape Town. It is a quite wondrous place. Your friends will see to your safety. I would go back in a heartbeat.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 12:01 pm
Lol thx Zuzu I knew you'd have the answers. Uh no need for banning right now 
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Pippin04
Member
10-26-2007
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 2:42 pm
Thanks so much. That really helped.
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Pippin04
Member
10-26-2007
| Thursday, November 06, 2008 - 2:47 pm
I think we will have a good time. I was just really unsure as it is the one area we have never traveled to. I feel better now.
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