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Archive through October 29, 2008

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Oct. 2008 - Dec. 2008: Free Expressions: Advice please....: Archive through October 29, 2008 users admin

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Csnog
Member

07-18-2002

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 3:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Csnog a private message Print Post    
I would keep a small tape recorder handy. If something is wrong with his health you may need to have proof.

If you have a bad day and you want to talk with him, do it on neutral ground, alone without anyone around, a park or walk. Somewhere he can't retreat easily. You may have to play the tape and then ask if that's the way he wants his grandchild to remember him.

Not saying to do this but if you are at wits end some day you might make a breakthrough.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 3:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I think that a hidden tape recorder has the potential to do much more damage than good. That could be the start of a huge war.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 4:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Especially since, like O'reilly, his hero, he's NEVER wrong.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 4:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
Escapee, let us know if and when your dd1 asks grandpa if he is tired and cranky, lol!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 4:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I will, she's out there right now I think with my mom who's taking care of the horses.

Csnog
Member

07-18-2002

Friday, October 24, 2008 - 4:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Csnog a private message Print Post    
I'm not saying to do it, just an opinion. I wouldn't tell anyone! especially your mom.

My FIL didn't realize his temper. We had a long talk about how he wanted the kids to remember him and did he want them to be afraid of him. I asked him why he didn't notice that they didn't want to be around him.
Nothing changed overnight but after another talk, had a code word when he got too cranky. Beside his temper I didn't like the views he spouted.

In fact it took about 2 years.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 9:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
NEW QUESTION:
My son's school has a no gore policy when it comes to costumes. I am not too worried as I could easily put a real bandaid over the questionable area on this costume. My question is, do you think this would qualify as "gory?"




PS The only reason I am not automatically doing it is I wonder if it would make it a bigger issue than if i just let it go as is. Plus the headpiece is so irritating to MR. SENSORY ISSUES-CUT THE TAG OUT OF EVERY SHIRT I OWN AND I WEAR MY UNDERPANTS BACKWARDS SO I DON'T FEEL THE TAG ON MY BACK, that I doubt he'll wear it for more than a minute and then in the parade...

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 9:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Just send a picture to your son's teacher and let her decide or at least she can find out what the gore rule means. If you get 20 of us who say it's not gory, do you still want to send Ryan to school in it, only to be called later saying he can't wear it?

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Happymom a private message Print Post    
I like Huk's advice, and I lol at your "Mr. Sensory Issues..." Julie!

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I could do that, (and likely will) but I still want the opinions, so please let me know if, in your opinion, this is gory or not.

THANKS!!!

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
I think blood qualifies as 'gore', even if it is only a small amount.

As for the SI stuff, been there, done that. There are exercises you can do with him - fun games to play that will help his brain learn to tune out that information. My son has almost completely outgrown his.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
Julieboo, I think he is adorable! Not gory at all. Who takes the pics? very good!

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Kar, what kind of games? Is there a website or anything?

Denecee, thanks!! The pix are from The Picture People.

Guess a bandaid is probably the way to go.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 11:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Julie, if I could gently suggest having an OT evaluate him, that would be most helpful.

The whole I can't stand the tags in my clothes or the bumps in my socks, or long sleeves or gloves, etc is called "tactile defensiveness". He just isn't able to tune these things out yet, but he will. For this specific issue, you would daily spend some time rubbing his arms and legs (gently!) with different kinds of mediums - towels ranging from very soft to rough, different kinds of sponges, and having him pay attention to the sensations and talk about them. Don't do anything that makes him very uncomfortable and keep the sessions short.

Through your day and outings, have him constantly touch things with different textures and ask him how they feel. Have him put on a blindfold and pick out different objects on a table and tell you what they are and why he knows that - or at Halloween, have him blindfolded stick his hand in a bowl of candy and identify different kinds.

These continuing and varying sensations, coupled with positive cognitive associations help his brain to learn to subconsciously to tune out sensory information that is not meaningful (tags in his shirt) and tune into sensory information that is meaningful.

If you're more interested, you can look up information on Sensory Integration Disorders. I don't think he is a full blown case, but like my son, it can be very frustrating sometimes.

And there are many different facets of SI as well, so it would be wise to look at all the possibilities - sensitive to sight/light, sound, balance problems etc - which are all additional symptoms of SI.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 11:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
DD's socks have to be perfectly straight or it bothers her. LOL

Landileigh
Member

07-29-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landileigh a private message Print Post    
karuuna, that's why i just posted in julieboo's folder. Holly has sensory integration dysfunction. we've dealt with her being coached. the touching and being touched is workable with using the techniques you've discussed and lots of others that can be used.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Kar, you could be gentle or rough!!

Ha--bumps in his socks!! I just bought him a large pack of HANES socks, but they have to be returned because they have "HANES" embroidered under the toe part. Rejected! (I swear he must be related to the Princess & the pea!!)

We always battle when he tries clothes on because he really cannot stand any tags--especialy if it is hangtag on the waist. I can usually cover it with my hand, but it almost sends him into convulsions... (kidding--not that bad, but he really does protest and almost rips them off despite knowing that he'll be in deep trouble if he does!)

Thanks for those suggestions. He already sees an OT every week--part of his IEP. He has seen an OT since he was about 20 months old. His current OT never mentioned any games for at home though. With previous OT's we used to do deep muscle brushing and he wore a weighted vest.

I wonder if his freakish eating habits/inspection of foods has anything to do with OT. However he does eat a variety of textures. He will eat oatmeal and potato chips. Pancakes and sausage. Yogurt. Pretzels. Bacon. Bananas, grapes & apples (usually under protest). Soft cooked potatoes & carrots. But forget the fresh crisp ones! Pizza with no cheese. So I think most all textures are okay with him. But you should see him inspect every single centimeter of food that enters his mouth.

Anyways, thanks again.

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Julieboo .. your son looks adorable as Frankenstein!

What have you decided on for your daughter??

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Vaca, THANKS!! And here:



Landileigh
Member

07-29-2002

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landileigh a private message Print Post    
i am similar to ryan, and won't eat certain textures (i'm considered to have small sensory issues). i am like Ryan about tags/clothes textures and food textures. but i don't have a problem with the touching. i loved the fact that i made most of my own food from the age of 10. i would eat the same food for every meal for a couple of months at a time. my daughter's pediatrician said this "as long as Holly is getting a very good multi vitamin, it doesn't really matter as long as it isn't junk food"

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Julie, you have to just wait for him to outgrow the food sensitivities. My son was like that also. They really just can't help it. You can try the 'just try one small bite' rule, but I would be cautious in forcing things. We did that once with DS, and the one bite of sweet potatoes made him throw up his entire Thanksgiving dinner, all over the Thanksgiving table. Bad idea.

You might ask his OT if there are things you can do at home as well, since he already has one. It all does take some time.

We work with many SI kids at the ranch, especially those with balance issues. It seems to help them much faster than more traditional therapies.

We had our annual fall festival this weekend, where we simulate disabilities for folks and stick them on a horse and lead them around. One of my favorites is putting a very scratchy sweater or itchy boa, up around their neck and wrapped around their arms. You should see how fast they throw those things off when they are done with their trip around the arena! It really does make them understand what it's like for these kids tho.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Julie, I dug out one of my favorite books on this subject, fearing it might be dated. Not only is it not dated, but they have a website now too!

In fact, they even have a whole book dedicated to home activities!

Here's the website:

http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/

The Out of Sync child book was the one that really helped me with DS, and helped me to get my ex to understand that it wasn't about DS being spoiled or difficult.

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Ahhh Julie ... she's an adorable octopus!!!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 1:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
The doctor referrred my aunt to a nutritionist who specializes in behavior and emotional issues in kids. She told my aunt to help my cousin who has sensory issues and aspergers,that he should have no sugar (except those found in fruits, etc and still limit that), no gluten, no wheat and no dairy. She said that doctors, contrary to popular belief, are not nutritionists and not educated in nutrition as much as they should be in today's day and age with kids and an increase in chemical inbalances that cause a wide array of different problems.

My daughter's pediatrician told us that he did not know enough about different formulas to reccomend one or the other. Basically, that most doctors go by what the standard is. Standard meaning whichever one gives out free samples and perks to hospitals and Dr.'s offices as a result of pushing their product. SO when soy, lactose free, even the ultra mild formulas bothered my DD, we did our own research and a nutritionist told us to put her on Goats Milk. She told us, that even though she could get in trouble for saying so, that Formula is terrible for babies, so many chemicals and hydrogenated fats.Said it's closer to Mother's milk than formula or cows milk, but to give her a vitamin supplement on top of it, as all babies should be on, especially if they stopped nursing.
She thrived. I told her doctor and he said he'd never thought of that and was glad we had researched on our own.

Julie, has your doctor talked to you at all about a diet change for Ryan, not that his isn't healthy, but they have seen amazing results with these diet changes and kids who have sensory issues, autism, aspergers, etc. Maybe talk to a nutritionist, too. Couldn't hurt, right?

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 2:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
ETA: my aunt did not follow the guidelines set forth by the nutritionist and my cousin is 17 and still has full blown aspergers, not saying that's the reason (I am sure it's not hte only one) but there is always that 'what if' factor. The doctor also told her that his compulsions that are a result of his condition were controllable with behavioral reinforcement. Of which, she decided not to do. For example: She should have said every time to him: We are going to get into the elevator now, do not touch anyone else in the elevator, or speak too loudly. If you start to do these things, I will give your hand a little squeeze to remind you.


Julie, i am so interested to know what Ryan's doc has told you about his conditions. We feel my aunt only tells us half the story when it comes to cousin's conditions because she doesn't want us to know the real reason he rummages through people's rooms, gets in people's faces at grocery stores, yells in strangers faces "HELLO SIR or MA'AM" and she doesn't do a thing about it. She says "He has issues and the doctor says they are controllable, but he doesn't realize how hard it is". And she may be right, but we don't know. he's VERY difficult to be around, and that makes us feel really bad for her and him. :-(

if you don't want to share, I totally understand.