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Archive through December 24, 2008

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Oct. 2008 - Dec. 2008: Free Expressions: The return of The Return of the Gripe Thread: Archive through December 24, 2008 users admin

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Beckie03
Member

07-05-2007

Friday, December 12, 2008 - 1:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beckie03 a private message Print Post    
a lil irritated...okay actually a lot irritated

my mom and i thought it would be a nice gesture during the holidays to try and help out. well, we decided to help out a friend of ours who's part of a lab rescue. we decided that we would help foster dogs (take them in until they find a home). at first it was great; we eventually got two puppies (5 months), but decided that it would be best for the dogs and easier for us to separate them. well we did...and we fell in love with the dog we kept -- wept big time the day he was adopted out (by our next door neighbor, which to me, makes it harder, but i know he's going to a loving home). after that one, we decided, because it did take up a lot of our time, that we would take a break (mostly because i needed time to study for finals).

well...we got a call from our friend on sunday about a dog needing a home because there was no where to put him...except her house and this dog (luke) was not getting along with her dogs. we decided we would try him out, make sure he got along with our dog and ours cats and if he did, we would foster him. however, he doesn't like our cats at all -- he's too curious and it gets him into trouble. so we called our friend and said that it was not going to work out and she needed to try and find a new home (she originally said that if it didn't work, there was a house he could go to - but that she wasn't sure or something). so she said she would try and find a place for him...that was monday. we have yet to hear from her (we usually do by now, good or bad).

while, he is a great dog...because of the lack of understanding with the cats...he is making life a lil less easier around here. the cats stay in my room, which makes it incredibly difficult to clean my very messy room because he cannot be left alone (bad separation anxiety). he'll go into a crate...and bark and bark and bark.

my gripe right now...he has been barking for over a hour. i'm getting so pissed off...which isn't a good time to go out there because i'll take my anger out, which is not what he needs. he finally decided to settle down...and unfortunately that's the time my sister decided she need to get up and do shit. so he started up again.

it is incredibly irritating that we had told this friend we wanted a break for a while because of my schooling and we just needed a rest (as do our animals). unfortunately, with our big hearts, we got luke. what makes it even worse, is that this makes me even more never want to foster again (my mom already has stated she doesn't like how the "company" is being run and isn't sure she'll foster again). i truly feel bad for the "company" and the dogs...but my life can be somewhat turned upside for a dog, but my animals' (who come before any other animals) lives cannot be turned upside down and they have.

i will say one thing...if you hear about your friends purchasing a puppy for christmas...while most will be responsible, please remind those few friends/family members that it is a lifelong commitment...and they won't stay puppies forever. we were told by this lab rescue, that during the months of february to march they see an increase of dogs being turned over because people can't handle it.

that's my gripe...sorry it's all over the place, but the dog settled down so i'm going to try and sleep. hoping i'll be quiet enough in the morning to be able to work on my room a bit.

Prisonerno6
Member

08-31-2002

Friday, December 12, 2008 - 4:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Prisonerno6 a private message Print Post    
Doing a good deed is rarely easy, especially since we don't always get to do them on our own terms. If it were, the world would be a different place. There is also power in the word no. If you can't commit to the rescue fully, and not just on your own terms, then don't do it at all. You aren't doing anyone any favors if you can't be counted on when needed.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Friday, December 12, 2008 - 8:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Sometimes when people are desperate (like your friend with the lab rescue place) they take advantage of others when they normally wouldn't. You're doing a good thing Beckie and trying your best to help out and you deserve a lot of credit for trying. I think we all go through rough spots at time. It's okay to get discouraged and frustrated at some points.

Maybe you could help by finding a dog that is good for you and rescuing him and just keeping him? That would provide more stability for you and your dog and cats and you would still be doing a wonderful thing.

Grooch
Member

06-16-2006

Friday, December 12, 2008 - 12:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Grooch a private message Print Post    
How old is Luke?

Is there anyway someone can take him out in the morning and exercise him for an hour or so, so when he gets home he is all pooped out and just wants to sleep?

A tired dog is a happy dog. It's worth a try. :0)

Beckie03
Member

07-05-2007

Friday, December 12, 2008 - 3:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beckie03 a private message Print Post    
actually...luke was adopted today. a family had saw him last weekend...and wasn't really sure and i guess contacted my friend and told her that they wanted to adopt him. so he's gone...thankfully.

prisoner, ita. we like helping out with the rescue, it is just that the rescue is so disorganized, which makes it hard to fully commit. for example, we had an electronic parade last weekend that the rescue was supposed to participate in. there were about seven people who were supposed to show up. well, we had to lab puppies, and we showed up, and no one was there. the dogs starting freaking out too much, so we had to leave. unfortunately, we heard from our friend that she was the only one to show up and no one else did...and no one let her know that they were not coming now. it is just a very disorganized rescue...which makes it hard to fully commit...which sucks, because we do want to help.

grooch, we (if we decide to) will be trying better about getting the dog out on a walk at least at night that way during the night he might be more willing to just relax.

jimmer, thanks for the encouraging words. we are going to try and make it very clear to our friend that we need to have dogs that get along with cats if we are going to continue to rescue. we don't have a problem with "trying out" a dog to see if they get along with the cats, but we don't want to keep it if it doesn't.

Neko
Member

08-03-2001

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 8:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Neko a private message Print Post    
GRIPE. Guilt-trips.

I wrote my 8 year old sister's mom to find out what my sister wants for Christmas.
Instead of responding first what she wants, then ending the message with "We hope that you can come up this year to visit us for the holidays!" or something to that effect, she responds with,

"What she wants for Christmas is for her big sister to come for it. Any chance of that?"

I'm already so pissed off at this woman, and at my Dad for that little shindig in Sept that I had to call my Mom at her work and ask her if that came off guilt-trippy, or whether my feelings about them are skewing my response to the things they say now.
(By the way, she agreed that it was very guilt-trippy.)

Her and my father shouldn't have broken up. They fit so well together with the constant guilt trips that no longer work on me and just PISS ME OFF.

So my gripe, GUILT-TRIPS. Unnecessary.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 9:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
i would write back and say that visiting would be the ultimate Christmas present for you as well but the funds just aren't there this year, but you'd like to send a nice gift so your sister knows that you love her and are thinking about her.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 9:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
People who try to make others feel guilty are incredibly frustrating.

My philosophy on these things is pretty simple and that is to do whatever will make you happy in the long-term. If you think your little sister would love to have you there for Christmas and knowing she is happy to have you there will make you happy then go. If you think you would be happier not going then don't go.

Texasdeb
Member

05-23-2003

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 5:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texasdeb a private message Print Post    
What Jimmer said

It's "your" Christmas too by the way.

How far does your Dad & his family live from you? Maybe you could go see them & do some kind of sister thing with your kid sis - just the 2 of you - sometime over the wk-end following Christmas.

Neko
Member

08-03-2001

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 8:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Neko a private message Print Post    
Texasdeb, 4 hour drive by car, and since I don't have a car, I have to take the bus, which takes around 7 1/2 hours.
I can't do a 7 1/2 bus ride on the 26th, stay the night, then do the ride all over again the next day.

There's actually no place for me to stay, since she rented out the room I normally use, and my Dad is living with his cousin so there's no room for me there either.

I'm looking forward to when she's old enough to take the bus herself, probably in 2 or 3 years, cause then they can just ship her down themselves.

Lancecrossfire
Animoderator

07-13-2000

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 8:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lancecrossfire a private message Print Post    
Neko, if your 8 year old sister had written you asking for that, I'd say it wasn't guilt based--just being honest about what she wants. At 8 she might not realize the logistics issues you point out.

But when adults write on behalf of someone it can often be what they want--or what they know you can't really do. Or, as you said, guilt.

Do your best, and tell her you love her and in time the two of you can spend lots of time together. She is who counts out of them, based on what you say your feelings are?

Your best--it's all you can do.

Christy358
Member

07-10-2007

Saturday, December 20, 2008 - 2:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Christy358 a private message Print Post    
I have an 11 year younger brother with a birthday of dec 10. For his birthday one year I gave him the gift of June 10. A day we would spend together doing something fun. I would bet you could do the same with this sister. Give her the gift of time and attention. Just not at the holiday season. She will love it.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Saturday, December 20, 2008 - 10:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Someone can lay a guilt trip in your lap only if you let them. It frustrates some members of my family no end because I don't allow them to lay guilt trips on me. Which actually, when you think about it, is great revenge! :-)

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Saturday, December 20, 2008 - 10:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
Christy, that is a great idea! My mom and dad gave me Children's day in June for the same reason. I think I loved that day more than my bday!

Oldtex
Member

03-06-2006

Saturday, December 20, 2008 - 11:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Oldtex a private message Print Post    
RN - actually last night, my dh's work had their "Holiday" Banquet at a Hilton Hotel. Nice, but very boring (to me). Turkey Dinner, hand out of awards, door prizes, etc. but really cut down from years past. Totally understandable.

RN - tonight, dh's Mom had her Christmas at her house. She is in her 80's and has no business whatsoever trying to do a big Christmas grathering. She has 3 daughters and 2 sons. Well, dh & I had her and his brother and his wife for Thanksgivings. (His brother & wife have no children, same with us). So it was a nice sit down dinner, with REAL plates, very civilized and everyone enjoyed themselves.

RN - last week my mil told my dh she was having Christmas at her house this year, for her children only! I mean no grand children or great grand children invited. ADULTS ONLY! With spouses of her children, she had 8 guests invited. Total of 16 grand children & great-grand children were not invited! The daughter with the biggest house stopped me outside when we first arrived and asked "What's up with Mom". Oh, I really wanted to say alot, but just explained she wanted a quiet Christmas with her children. I really wanted to say that if you want everyone together, have it at your house for a change!

Everyone thought mil's choice was strange, but SURPRISE! All stated that this was a nice, peaceful dinner and get togather. No yelling and unruly children. But the grand children are all grown and probably will feel no obligation to visit their grandmother any time soon. The young great grandhildren do get rowdy!

Mil said this will be the last time she has Christmas at her house, it's someone else's turn! I don't blame her and I think perhaps she was doing this as wake-up-call to anyone who was offended. I just think she could have handled it in a different way. Afterall, having only 8 guests, compared to 24 (including spouses) is a big difference.

Looking forward to next week, my Colorado brohter will be here. Hope the weather is good for travel. He is driving! Probably better than risking flying out of Denver. Next week, all my family! YEA!

Oldtex
Member

03-06-2006

Sunday, December 21, 2008 - 12:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Oldtex a private message Print Post    
RN - forgot to add that the little kiddoes on My side the the family are never rowdy! They are just plain fun, like Christmas should be.

Oldtex
Member

03-06-2006

Sunday, December 21, 2008 - 12:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Oldtex a private message Print Post    
Just realized I thought I was in the RN thread, but guess my rant really belongs here! Just ignore my RN's. CRS.

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Sunday, December 21, 2008 - 7:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Teachmichigan a private message Print Post    
When does common sense prevail??

We've been under a winter storm warning for today since yesterday morning. We got over a foot of snow on Friday and another 6-10 inches were predicted for today along with 40 MPH winds.

DH and I were both scheduled to be at church by 7:30 AM for rehearsals. We get up at 6:00, weather is snowy, but nothing major (no wind yet). By the time we left at 7:10, the wind is really going at it, and our dirt road is starting to drift badly.

We arrive at church only to find a sign posted saying "First service canceled, 11:00 still on, all choirs report at 9:45." Home we drive, and our road is getting REALLY bad in the spots where there are no hills.

Thinking we'd been dumb not to check the news, we turn it on. NOPE -it's NOT listed! Why on earth couldn't they have CALLED? There were only 10-12 people who were going to be there early, and a simple call would have saved a lot of trouble. Finally, around 8:15 I get an e-mail alert through the news station that choirs are canceled. DH called the pastor's house, said there was no way we could get out again, but the projector files were on the computer if someone else could be found to run it.

If only "organized" religion were actually ORGANIZED! I really don't understand the mentality that there must be at least one service, no matter the danger people might be in who attempt to drive in the crap! They may be having an 11:00 service, but we'll be staying off the roads.

To make it worse, DS is supposed to play with his jazz band at a different local church this afternoon, and they haven't canceled anything yet! We've got a message in to the band director, though, letting him know our road isn't passable, even in my 4WD, so hopefully he'll be smart enough to cancel their part of the program, even if the church doesn't cancel their end of it.

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Sunday, December 21, 2008 - 6:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Teachmichigan a private message Print Post    
Ok - common sense HAS prevailed. All evening activities were canceled at both churches, and we've spent a blissfully lazy day at home. I think logic finally made its voice heard when the county pulled the plows and actually gave up trying to keep up! :-)

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 7:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
i am so ticked off. i ordered a scarf for my dd from Wal-Mart as a stocking stuffer. it shows it was sent out for delivery on the 22nd...nope not here. UPS is like 'oops we are so sorry, but only Wal-Mart can ask for us to track it' there are no numbers for customer service just an online form. i did try calling the main number and after 500 prompts i got put on hold in cyberspace. i am hollering into the phone 'i want a real person'. tried a different prompt and get 'our offices are closed'.
and then the reply i get back from the online form was 'since it's christmas we are too busy to read your email, please refer to your tracking info on your order'
grrrrr

Racinrach
Member

11-16-2006

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 11:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Racinrach a private message Print Post    
UGH! How many of you have to deal with bing step-parents? How many have ex's that you want to tell off for doing things that smart people wouldn't do?!

My youngest stepson is 5 almost 6 and ex-wife number 2's only kid. However my DH has 2 others we have full time. so family of three kids we got them all one big gift the two boys we got Nintendo DS's and let BOTH Ex-wives know about a month or so ago that was our plan... So the little one's mom calls and tells us she went out yesterday got him one also so he would have two!!! HE DOESN'T NEED TWO! Why would someone do that? She can buy him anything else she gets the one big thing we got him.... UGH! I guess my only saving point is this year we have the Kids today for x-mas and then tomorrow they go to mom's place so he opens it here first. but still that is $140 bucks she culd of spent on other things why why why!!!!! Ok I feel better..Thanks!

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 12:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Maybe she thought one for your house an one for hers??

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 12:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
I guess I'm confused...you bought 3 Ds's?

Debra
Member

11-20-2003

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 2:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Debra a private message Print Post    
Texannie, I hope the gift arrives in time. How frustrating!

(((Racinrach))) Sorry the ex stole your thunder. I like the part of the story where they open yours first!

Happy Holidays everyone.


Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 - 2:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Scooter, They have three kids.

It's pretty strange that she would buy him one when you are already getting him one.

That problem with Walmart is a classic example of why people don't order online. Very bad on the store's part.