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Archive through September 15, 2008

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: July 2008 - Sept 2008: Free Expressions: The return of The Return of the Gripe Thread : Archive through September 15, 2008 users admin

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Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 4:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
I would contact a lawyer right away. YOu can usually get a free consult. That way you can have someone 'help' them expedite things :-)

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 6:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Yikes! (((Msb)))

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 7:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I hope that going to Disney wouldn't hurt your "case"

Hey my sis will be at Disney for her honeymoon starting on the 21st.

Hope you are feeling better. get pictures of you at disney in the immobilizer just in case. And do ask for help at the airport/theme park. Maybe even ask doc for a temp handi-placard.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 8:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Oh, definitely get the handicap placard if that is the kind of thing you are having to wear. Holey-moley.

Msbullwnkl
Member

08-16-2005

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 10:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Msbullwnkl a private message Print Post    
I also hope that going to WDW won't hurt anything. But after waiting for almost 2 years for this honeymoon, and spending as much money as we did I am not missing it. I missed my appointment this morning, but rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon. (Stupid pain pills!)

Mame- yes that is exactly what I am currently sporting right now. I was told I could stop wearing it when I could walk without pain.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I really needed it.

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - 12:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
Make sure you get plenty of pics of you at WDW, in your wheelchair and incapacitated. Seems like part of your case would be that your experience at WDW was hindered by your injury. Just think of all those wild rides you could have gone on if you weren't injured!

Like you said, you've been planning and waiting for this for two years. Its not like you got injured and said, "hey, I think I'll go to Disney World!"

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
My gripe....

So I have this friend- we were friends in high school then pretty much lost touch over the years and I didn't think a lot about her- I didn't really care a lot, but we were very good friends in high school. She was always the kind of flaky, unreliable one but whatever.

So she moved to the city where I live a few months ago due to her husband's job transfer. She is married and has a 6 mo old baby. I figured we'd hang out now and then but mostly lead our own lives. in the beginning, I was okay hanging out more frequently because it was like getting reacquainted and she was new in town, etc. She doesn't work, doesn't have a car of her own.

It's now been almost 6 months and she seems to think I can spend every free moment of my time with her. It's seriously obsessive! She will start calling me at 7:45 am and call hourly (sometimes every 30 minutes). When I do work during the day (I substitute teach and sub p/t at the library and I work at every night @ UPS), she wants me to come over when I'm done until I go to my night job. I have no "me" time because she wants me to come over EVERY chance I get. It's like I'm not supposed to ever want time to myself or need time to do stuff here. If I say I have to do something, she wants to know how long it will take and when I can be over. I know she's lonely, but when I go over there, she hands me her kid so she can clean or whatever- sometimes she sits on the internet while I'm there!!!

I don't want to be mean, but come on! I will not answer the phone, then later I see 8 voicemails and calls at 7:51, 8:32, 9:01, 9:47, 10:14..... plus a text message at 8:33 saying "where are you???". This is daily. Not even kidding. One time I said I had to work until 1:00 (I leave to my other job at 4:15) and she said "ok, so you'll be here at 1:30?" I said I would come over but it would be later than that because I need to go home, eat, change, etc... my phone rang that day at 1:32 and she told me I was "late". WTH?!??!!

The more she calls like this, the less I want to answer, the less I want to go there. I like her, she's a nice person, but I don't want to be with her every day much less every free second I have of every day from 8 am until 4 pm!!!

I don't know how to tell her without offending her. I should add that she's bipolar too so I have no idea how she'd even deal with the "rejection". I don't want to not be friends, but I want to have a normal friendship. It's not normal to have to hide from a friend because you have no space.

I can't even go on facebook because she'll know I'm home! LOL

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
The thing also is that I do have stuff I need to do and this is preventing me from it- we're looking at houses and that takes time even looking them up online and stuff, I'm getting married next year and need to spend time looking into planning and I can't get anything done when she wants to hang out all the time. I've sort of mentioned it and she then wants to look at houses with me or do this or that and that's fine sometimes but at the same time, she has a 6 mo old baby who is the cutest sweetest thing ever...but I can't do all of this while driving her and her baby around. I can do everything faster on my own.

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
In no way are you responsible for how she reacts to 'rejection'. The woman is ill and you are not her doctor. It is a sad situation.

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
It's worse when she calls and I can tell she's taken some of her anxiety meds because she'll be slurring a bit and just acting "off" and I hate to go there, but then I want to so I can take her kid for awhile because it seems like a slurring mother wouldn't be the best mother. But how do I draw the line, you know? I'm just one of those people that sucks at saying no. She'll have her baby crying on my voicemail and say he misses me then I feel bad and want to go there. Or not "want" to, but usually will then. I wonder if her husband knows how much she calls during the day. I mean, her parents and other people must see this too, right?

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
One time I told her I needed a day to myself and then when I did go visit a day later, she asked me if everything was okay and said that i seemed depressed. HUH!? I was happy! I had a day for myself!

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:28 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
You might try not telling her what your schedule is. That way she would not be able to keep track of you.

It is not right that you cannot answer your phone because of her neediness.

Not sure how to do this but you need to cut her off as gently as possible.

Maybe someone else would be able to make suggestions for that method.

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Yuck, Kaili! I had something similar a long time ago. It is a tough situation, but don't take on any guilt, and by all means, live your life! I think you have to make the decision to just be honest with her. How she reacts is hers to own. I'd say that while you enjoy spending some time with her, you are too busy at work and have other friends you feel like you've been neglecting (if that makes it easier). She sounds desperate, and nobody needs someone like that in their life!

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
She knows my schedule- not when I work during the day but I have already been lying and said I had to work when I didn't. She just wanted me to come over later then. When I was done working.

I would love to know how to deal with her. I'm at a loss. I haven't even listened to her messages from Friday yet. She only called once on the weekend (her dad was in town and I told her I had plans) and once this morning. I'm assuming she thinks I'm mad at her. Now I don't even know how to handle it when I do talk to her again because she'll want an explanation for why I haven't called her back and I don't know what to say except that I just didn't want to. I don't think that's the best approach. LOL

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
Oh, how about finding some parent/child group for her to join? Not sure what it is called.

Finding an activity for her and the child may get you some relief.

Would you feel comfortable discussing this matter with her husband?

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
I know- everyone says I just need to be honest with her, but it feels like breaking up with someone and I was never good at that either. When I was younger (in high school) and didn't like my boyfriend anymore, I tended to just be mean to them until they went away. :-)

I just don't know that she'll "get" what a normal healthy in-between is. That and then it's like, are we just friends on my terms then? You know?

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
Get her interested in a church? They have lots of activities.

Nothing wrong with "your terms" because it is YOUR life.

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Kaili, we probably ALL are actually friends with our friends on our own terms (if that makes sense). If I call a friend and she's busy, I understand that, and vice versa. Real friends must be honest with one another. It doesn't devalue the friendship to not talk or be with one another 24/7! Even spouses don't want that (I'm guessing there, hee hee)

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Keep on giving her the old brush off, eventually she'll get the hint, I hope.

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
Ummm....I did suggest joining something, taking him to the Y for swim lessons- just something but she isn't interested. She says she won't like those people. I mean- let me add that when I go over there I get to hold her baby so she can go smoke. She's not into a whole lot aside from smoking cigarettes and being online. I feel bad for the kid.

Plus since she doesn't have a car, she's want me to take her there! :-)

I honestly don't know her husband very well- I just met him when they moved here. And once before that after they got married. I don't know I could talk to him and I'm pretty sure if I did, it wouldn't do any good anyway. He might tell her to lay off and she's ignore him. Plus, I have no way to get a hold of him, especially without her being there.

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
She is using you to take over her parental responsibilities.

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
She has asked about churches in the area, but I really don't think she'd ever go- maybe once but she wouldn't get involved. She's just never been the type. She has always (since we were 15) kind of seemed to feel everyone was there for her use.

This has gone on all summer. I guess I will just have to say I'm busy a lot and have stuff to do, but I know I will feel guilted. I don't answer the phone because I know she's good at manipulating me. Always has been.

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
Oh, I know, and that works because I LOVE LOVE LOVE her kid. If he cries and I'm there, she may be on the computer and she looks at me and asks "aren't you going to get him?"- oh, and when we go places, I carry him because 1. he's getting heavy and I'm stronger than her and 2. she doesn't trust herself not to drop him.

How does a mother trust someone else more than themselves to carry their child? That's just odd. She told me her dad thinks she's having late post-pardum.


I just don't do diapers :-)

Kaili
Member

08-31-2000

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kaili a private message Print Post    
I know I've gotta do something about it, and I guess I kind of know what I need to do- I just don't want to and wish I wasn't in the situation in the first place.

I just wish she was normal...like me! LOL

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Monday, September 15, 2008 - 8:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
So I have this friend- we were friends in high school then pretty much lost touch over the years and I didn't think a lot about her- I didn't really care a lot, but we were very good friends in high school

Just cut/pasted from your original post. Well, it looks to me like you didn't care a whole lot about "losing" her the first time, so just dump her now before you wind up going crazy.

Oh, and her kidlet is NO reason to stay friends with her. Other people who have kidlets aren't leeches!