Author |
Message |
Landileigh
Member
07-29-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 12:04 pm
depending on my mood, i'd probably ask... WHAT THE ??? are you saying that my (b)itchy crabby ass mood makes you think i drink all day?
|
Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 12:44 pm
Serate, perfect sense. Huk... love it, I'd go with that!
|
Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 12:52 pm
Alcoholism is not a laughing matter.
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 1:03 pm
How about just say yes or no. Personally I had no idea who Bill W is and I'll probably forget after this post.
|
Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 1:04 pm
Serate, I would simply say something like "you're not sure who Bill W is" but that you're looking forward to talking/whatever. Or, since you are not an alcoholic, just say that you don't know Bill W.
|
Landileigh
Member
07-29-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 1:05 pm
Serate, I was not making a joke. I was being QUITE serious.
|
Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 1:06 pm
Maybe she needs a sponsor.
|
Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 1:07 pm
Landi, if you would say that to a friend, you must not have any friends. LOL
|
Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 2:12 pm
I like Hukd's suggestion, for the reasons she gave. I see no reason not to be forthright. I also think your own suggestion ("While I'm not a friend of Bill W. I have great respect for those who are.") is just fine, too.
|
Landileigh
Member
07-29-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 4:45 pm
I guess because I don't drink (for various reasons), the idea that someone would ask me that question is absolutely absurd.
|
Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 5:21 pm
I don't drink either but what has that got to do with an old friend asking that question? The friend is not a mind reader so doesn't know what's been going on in Serate's life over the years they were apart. So, why is it "absolutely absurd"? And why would you answer her so meanly?
|
Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 6:32 pm
Just to support Landi a little (although I know she can speak for herself!) my first thought when reading Serate's post was also that it seemed like an insult. It sounded like the friend had been thinking that something Serate had done in the past made her likely to be an alcoholic now, and even if she did think that, it seems a bit out of order to just come out with the question like that, it could have hurt Serate's feelings, although luckily it didn't. But it could just be that the written message didn't come across how she meant it. I thought Huk's answer was good.
|
Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 7:00 pm
To me it didn't sound at all like an insult but more like a tentative hand reached out in empathy of her own situation. Huk's was definitely the best and most reasonable answer.
|
Babyruth
Member
07-19-2001
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 7:10 pm
Or you could just say it the way you said it to us. That you had to google/ask around what "Friend of Bill W" meant. You can say that while you're not an AA member, you know some very nice people who are. 
|
Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 8:14 pm
FWIW I didn't have to google I knew who he was. [besides I yahoo not google. *L*] Just didn't know how to interpret the question. So I looked up "are you a friend of Bill W." to see if there was some significance, then asked here. Never once did I take offense. I wasn't a drinker then, I'm not now, but it's been 5 years so she had no way of knowing. W/O hearing back from her and knowing for sure, I think Twinkie hit the nail on the head. To me it didn't sound at all like an insult but more like a tentative hand reached out in empathy of her own situation. This is what I sent with names changed: Hey [Friend]! Yes it has been along time. No I'm not a friend of Bill W. but I have great respect and admiration for those who are. It's a long row to hoe and takes alot of courage and strength. Not sure where [hubby] and I were last we talked. [State], then [hubby] got his dream job in [state] so we lived in [state] a year and [state] 2 years before accepting a promotion back here in [state]. Found out right away it was the wrong decision - not for the company they love him hear but for us - and would give anything to get back to [state]. They offered another promotion in [state] - no thanks. So we're stuck here for now. Speaking of [hubby] there he is pulling into the drive. Early and didn't call. Gonna have to chew him out. He's to call first so I can get the boyfriend out if he's gonna be early. * L* Good hearing from you. Hope to hear from you again soon. T Haven't heard back so maybe it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. Maybe she's trying to figure out what to say. Mabye she's not checked her email. I dunno. Thanks for all the input.
|
Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - 10:50 pm
Perfect, Serate. You say what you wanted to say and then moved on. I don't think you closed any doors and if she was asking for support you've made it clear you're happy to hear from her.
|
Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 8:30 am
Great answer, Serate.
|
Landileigh
Member
07-29-2002
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 1:48 pm
i responded to serate's question as if it was asked of ME. as I assume most people do when asked a question of this sort. and my friends know me, and know that to ask something like that would be an insult. so Kitt was correct. also i did not answer meanly, but if you know how i speak or write, you would have bigger insight into me as a person. I have lots of friends.
|
Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 1:49 pm
Like me! (landi are you a friend of Escape E.?)
|
Babyruth
Member
07-19-2001
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 2:01 pm
Hey Landi, I think the confusion regarding your reply was because the discussion thus far was about email reply ideas for Serate, not how we would answer for ourselves. So your post surprised some. But then I think everyone has figured this out by now.
|
Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 2:40 pm
(Landi, are you a friend of Costacat? )
|
Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 4:41 pm
don't worry about it, landi, those of us that know you know how you meant it ...
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - 5:09 pm
Uh huh
|
Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Thursday, September 18, 2008 - 4:39 pm
Has anybody ever been to playoff baseball game? The reason I ask is because my granny is 92 and can't walk all those stairs to her seat. Is there any way the ball parks would get someone like my granny to her seat?
|
Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Thursday, September 18, 2008 - 5:30 pm
I would contact the baseball court (? arena? what are they called?) and ask them what disabled facilities they provide, or even just look for their website. I'd be very surprised if they couldn't accommodate her, even if they may have to change your seating to a particular area where disabled access is better. I hope she has fun!
|