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Archive through July 31, 2008

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: July 2008 - Sept 2008: Community Corner: A Caring Place: CAREGIVERS RESPITE ROOM - Parenting Our Aging Parents...: Archive through July 31, 2008 users admin

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Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Monday, July 21, 2008 - 4:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
Nice letter. My deceased DH was a top insurance salesman. His motto was, 'The thicker you spread it, the further you slide.'. Positive reinforcement will always garner you more of what you desire.

Beachcomber
Member

08-26-2003

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 9:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beachcomber a private message Print Post    
Great letter Mame, it offers praise for their actions and in a positive way lets them know what your expectations are.

And thanks to everyone with their wonderful advice for my MIL. This is a great thread and everyone's experiences and advice are very helpful to us.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - 6:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
Thanks BR, OG, & BC! I was afraid it might be too sucky, but after the other letter which I wrote in a fury, I wanted this one to be more balanced and postive.

Biloxibelle
Member

12-21-2001

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 5:28 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biloxibelle a private message Print Post    
I think it is wonderful that you took the time to write a follow up letter. The letter was perfect.

Dad has an appointment with the ortho doc today. Actually he has one tomorrow too. The one today is for his collarbone. It is steadily moving and getting worse. He spent the weekend in a sling to help with the pain. This is the first time he used the sling since the hospital. I felt the bone yesterday and it is completely sticking straight up, any farther and it feels like it is going to poke right through his skin.

Oh and they called last week. His urine sample (his stool sample was neg) shows a UTI (he has kidney disease), so they started him back on an antibiotic. That in turn has started the diarrhea all over again.

He still isn't eating the way he should. I even took him a bowl of homemade pea soup and two blueberry muffins for dinner. After an hour he only took 3 bites of the soup and saved the muffins. I noticed the muffins were still on his table yesterday. Before he fell he would have ate the entire bowl of soup and asked for seconds. The muffins would have been nothing but a memory within minutes.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 8:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
Belle, I know NOTHING about collarbones. Zip. But isn't there anything the docs can do for him? At least to 'set' it so it's not wobbling about and causing him pain. Can they not but a brace of some sort or whatever? I am babbling here, grabbing at straws, and racking my brain thinking of things they might be able to do to help him. How awful that he's got to deal with kidney problems and symptoms on top of it. How utterly miserable. Give your dad a VERY gentle hug from me...

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 8:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
Whoo Hoo, I just received this email from Mom's NH. I couldn't be more delighted.

Good morning Joyce

Thank you for the kind email. We have completed our interviews and counseling, I am confident that expectations are clear and quality of care is expected. Consequences have been clearly outlined.
To follow up with a couple of requests you made last Friday, the bedrail pads are now in place on your mother's bed, along with a smaller comfortable wheelchair. Please let me know what you think of the chair, I will get physio to look at it to be sure it meets your mother's needs.
Have a great day, sincerely


D
Director of Nursing Care

Babyruth
Member

07-19-2001

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 8:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Babyruth a private message Print Post    
YAAAAAAAAAAAAYY! :-)

Beachcomber
Member

08-26-2003

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 1:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beachcomber a private message Print Post    
Yeah for the response! It goes to prove that you always catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar!

Watching2
Member

07-07-2001

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 9:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Watching2 a private message Print Post    
Hey gang. Just stopping in for an update. Things are not good with my dad. I think he's just given up on living. There's been a drastic change in his status and we will be meeting with a hospice coordinator at 2pm. The floor nurse called me a bit ago to tell me my dad had a "fainting-type" spell when they tried to get him up. They were unable to get a blood oxygen reading and his respiration was very fast. They now have him back in bed and on oxygen. They also gave him a pain medication which they give patients who are having difficulty breathing. He has advanced directives which he set up before he even went in the hospital. He wants nothing but comfort care.

He has infections which are not clearing up and he's basically stopped eating much of anything. They were going to puree his food (he wants no tube feeding) and he seemed OK at first, but then stopped eating after a few mouthfuls. He often gets food in his mouth, but he doesn't swallow it. Even yesterday when I fed him a small icecream cup, he seemed to be eating it and I'm sure some got down. He never opened his eyes. I gave him a little bit of water and I was surprised at how long afterward he was having liquid (drool) that had the appearance of the icecream. I guess he keeps things in the pockets of his mouth instead of swallowing. When he was eating more prior to the hospital, he was upset with the drooling which had started because of his Parkinsons. Lately, he has had so little to eat or drink, he doesn't drool unless you are trying to feed him. The last he spoke to me was on Sunday and a tiny bit on Monday, but it had been a week prior to that he said anything I could understand.

I just hope he hangs on until my 2nd oldest brother gets back from visiting his son in Oregon on Tuesday. His whole family is out there and while there's nothing anyone can do, I don't want him to feel bad that he hasn't seen Dad since last week.

We all know it's best for him to go be with mom and yet it is starting to hit me that my whole life has changed so drastically in a few short months. What was the family home is now an empty house with all of their things in it.

Great - I just got a call from my doctor's office about a refill on my generic Librax. The doctor, who I just started seeing in January, is concerned that I'm taking so much of it - not more than directed, but frequently which I always have for my IBS/Crohn's and wants me to come in for an appointment. Gee, I wonder why my gut is messed up/more active?! I told her to tell him what's going on and why I've needed to take it. It really bugs me because while I was told for 26 yrs that I have Crohn's, when I had a colonoscopy last Spring, the Gastroenterologist said he saw no sign of any scarring and so I probably have IBS which when I had saw him 5 yrs earlier, he said I couldn't have IBS because my B12 level is low. Of course the blood work I had prior to the colonoscopy showed a high level of B12 since I've been getting monthly shots for years. I just wish there was SOMETHING they could give me so I could lead a normal life and not have to worry when my gut might go all wonky on me. Avoiding foods helps some, but sometimes it just doesn't matter. As Rosanna Rosanna Danna used to say, "It's always something."

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 9:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
((Sue)) My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope that this upcoming time finds you at peace.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 9:28 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
(((((Watching and Dad)))))
I am so terribly sorry things have deteriorated so much and so rapidly with your beloved dad. I hope they can stabilize him enough so that he rallies, and your brother can come and visit him.

I empathise with your personal medical frustrations regarding your IBS/Crohns: I'm also experiencing frustration with the medical profession regarding my own health - I was told last summer that I have osteopenia and severe arthritis in my knees, spine, and wrist. When I saw another specialist recently he said the MRI showed zero arthitis. Hmmm so how would that account for the stiffness, swelling and pain in my knees, spine and wrist? I've delayed going to see my family doc as I've been overloaded with Mom-stuff that I just didn't want to deal with anything else medical - especially for myself. DH also needs to have his bad knee scoped and I've got to get on his case about it... he's got his head buried in the sand, while he's hobbling round in pain on a cane lately.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 9:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I'm sorry Watching. As you said, it may be his time to be with your Mom and knowing that will give you some peace of mind.

Beachcomber
Member

08-26-2003

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 1:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beachcomber a private message Print Post    
(((Watching & Dad))))

Watching2
Member

07-07-2001

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 4:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Watching2 a private message Print Post    
God and Dad had other plans. He passed at 4pm EDT. I was in the room with him. The nurse and my brother had just stepped out, I went to open a window. When I came back to sit next to him, I didn't think he was breathing. I kept feeling his chest and couldn't feel anything. I couldn't find a pulse and checked his chest again. Nothing. I went and got the nurse and she confirmed he had passed.

I'll post the rest in the prayer thread. I think I'm just in a fog right now. It doesn't seem real, but I know it is. I'm thankful I was with him. He's with mom now, just where he wanted to be.

Thank you all.

Beachcomber
Member

08-26-2003

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 4:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beachcomber a private message Print Post    
(((Watching))) My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It is so hard for us to let our loved ones go, but it must be comforting for you to know that your Mom and Dad are together again.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 6:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
((((Watching and family)))) Your Dad is where he needed to be.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 7:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
((((((Watching & Family))))))
Condolences to you and your family on the passing of your beloved father.

Oldtex
Member

03-06-2006

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 9:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Oldtex a private message Print Post    
Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.

This is the third time I've tried to post here and aol keeps kicking me off. The weird thing is the first time my computer clock said 11:11 PM. Those of you who know will understand the significance.

Guess "someone" doesn't want me to reveal this, let's see if third time is a charm.

Today would have been my mom's 90th birthday. She passed just 2 months ago and sometimes it seem like just yesterday, other times seems like a year. I'll hear something on the news or read something on the internet and think, I need to tell mom about this or that. Guess my mind is not always in the present.

It really was a shock to me reading about Watching's dad. Her descriptions of the last few days are very familiar to me. I'd best post this before I'm kicked off again by "good ole" aol.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 9:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
{{{Watching}}} I am so sorry about your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

{{{Oldtex}}}

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Friday, July 25, 2008 - 4:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
((((OT))))

Biloxibelle
Member

12-21-2001

Friday, July 25, 2008 - 8:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biloxibelle a private message Print Post    
Oh (((Watching))), I am so very sorry. I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Friday, July 25, 2008 - 8:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
((OT))

Txkaykay
Member

07-27-2006

Friday, July 25, 2008 - 9:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Txkaykay a private message Print Post    
(((OT))) I was the same after my Mother passed - even went as far as picking up the phone and dialing 3 numbers and realising she wouldn't answer.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Thursday, July 31, 2008 - 2:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
Mom's back in the hospital. Pneumonia. I just got back from the hospital. I'll have more details later...


Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Thursday, July 31, 2008 - 8:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
Mom update in my folder. Click here.