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Archive through September 17, 2007

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: General Discussions ARCHIVES: July 2008 - Sept 2008: The Chapel: Get Me To The Church On ... : The Chapel: Get Me To The Church On Time: ARCHIVES: Archive through September 17, 2007 users admin

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Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 12:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
I thought we needed a wedding thread. I've found myself posting various tidbits about the wedding I'm planning all over the board, and thought maybe we needed a centralized place to discuss. Surely I'm not the only one planning a wedding right now, no? I truly, honestly, need the advice of as many women and wives as possible at this point. Trying not to freak out.

I thought I might start by treating this thread very much the same as the "Only Dumb Question" thread. I am the first of my friends to get married, and haven't been to many weddings in the past. The whole etiquette of a wedding has me baffled, and I need some help. What do I need to do that I haven't thought of??

It's a destination wedding. Us, plus seven others, in Belize. I'm not planning to register, as I don't want gifts. But... aside from the location, the ceremony, the rings... what are we, as the marrying couple, responsible for? Do we pay for the outfits for the people standing? How much is enough for a gift for the party? Do we buy gifts for everyone who attends??

Seriously, I've waited seven years to start planning this wedding. Now I'm starting to panic that maybe I'm not grown up enough to take all of this on. I don't know where to start. I don't want to turn into Bridezilla, but I don't want to be the cheapskate who skimps on her wedding, either. Where do I draw the line? Why aren't I just eloping???

There will be many, many more questions. But for now, this may be a good start.

I think THIS is where we want to stay. Not sure if the wedding will be here on the beach, or on the mainland in the ruins...

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 5:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Check out The Knot.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 2:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
And remember that quaint little wedding chapel I found for you down in Mount Vernon, WA, if you throw up your hands and give up.

You go for it, Bridezilla!! I seem to recall Spygirl using The Knot too.

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 2:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
LOL, thanks guys. I had no idea The Knot existed. I've been there most of the day.

All I wanted was a diamond ring and a vacation. I didn't realize I'd have to put so much into it all, hee hee.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 3:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
OH I'm excited for both of you!!

My advice is to do what you want. The day belongs to you and Donners!

I think simplicity is beautiful. The most gorgeous wedding I've ever attended was on the beach. (at Boca Grande) The bride and groom were both barefoot. The bride wore a simple cream dress with a subtle floral design and the groom wore a matching cream floral shirt in the same pattern. The bride wore a lovely wreath of flowers in her hair. They were married just as the sun set with all the colors surrounding them. Their reception was at a small restaurant on the beach.
I know that my friend ordered her flowers online. They were half the price!

I've also gone to wonderful elaborate weddings, too.

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 4:11 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
Thanks, Twiggy! Your 'most beautiful wedding ever' that you describe sounds exactly like what we're planning. There's no question that we'll both be barefoot. Everyone will be barefoot. With only seven people joining us, the 'reception' will be the same as your friend's... a dinner and dancing at a local restaurant on the beach.

My dress is bridal satin with a very gentle floral embroidered pattern. It's scalloped along the seam so the bottom hem has a nice natural embroidered design, instead of just a sewn hem. My Mum is making it for me. Donners will also be wearing white shorts and a white dress shirt, untucked, no tie. We're still torn on what everyone else will be wearing... because there's only seven people joining us, they're all going to be part of "the party". The girls will be in white skirts, boys in white shorts. We're still undecided on their tops, if we want girls in yellow, boys in green; or if we want girls in yellow, orange, red, and boys in green, blue, purple.

I want to carry a bouquet of daisies. I might need to import those into the country. I dunno, do daisies grow in Belize?

There's a small part of me that wants a sunrise ceremony (new beginnings and all that stuff) but logically it just won't work. Sunset on the Caribbean sea sounds just as lovely.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 5:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
It sounds very romantic! One tip.. I'm sure you know this already, but be SURE to have the person who takes pictures to use the flash on their cameras if there is a sunrise/sunset behind you. The flash illuminates your faces and keeps you from being in the shadow. I took pictures (along with a few other people) of my friend's wedding, and everyone who used the flash had great pictures. We could see the sunset AND they were not in shadow. And that's my little piece of advice FWIW.

Twinkie
Member

09-24-2002

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 7:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twinkie a private message Print Post    
Are your friends paying their own way down there and their own hotel accomodations? I'd say that if they are, then you should pay for their clothes for the wedding. Just my

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 7:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
Yeah, they're paying for the airfare, and we're gonna go 70/30 on the villa rental. It's just Mums, siblings, and SO's, so it really has a 'family vacation with a wedding thrown in' feel to it, so I don't feel too guilty about making everyone come down there. After all, we had originally wanted to elope, just the two of us, until the family cried foul and insisted they be invited. So... they can pay a bit. But I can spend a couple hundred bucks to make sure they all match.

Yankee_in_ca
Member

08-01-2000

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 7:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yankee_in_ca a private message Print Post    
Is it important for you that they all match?

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Friday, September 07, 2007 - 10:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Karen, just so nobody gets an unexpected wedding gift, make sure everybody gets Hepatitis A vaccinations before they go. I forget when the wedding is, but now may not be too soon to be thinking about it.

As you know, we are just south of the Canadian border in the U.S. Since we are closer to Canada than to Seattle, we go to an international travel medical clinic in Canada. They are experts in medical travel safety, so I think you can rely on their advice, and I would recommend them. See www.doctortravel.ca for locations and prices.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Saturday, September 08, 2007 - 10:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
I am beyond thrilled for you Karen & Donners! I planned our wedding in 6 weeks. NOW I totally understand why it most folks take 6 months to a year to plan one. LOL. Best of luck, I KNOW whatever you end up doing, will be magically delicious!

Yankee_in_ca
Member

08-01-2000

Saturday, September 08, 2007 - 11:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yankee_in_ca a private message Print Post    
Here is my little bit o Yankee advice for you.

Your day will be magical if you let it be.

Do what you need to do to prepare it the way you would like it, but... at the end it comes down to YOU, HIM, your VOWS to each other, and sharing it with the people who love you.

Of course if you dream of daisies, you should have them. But ... Keep yourself and Donners always in mind. If you worry too much about doing the "right" thing for everyone else, you won't be able to relax.

So again, do what you need to do to make yourself comfortable, but make sure it's always comfortable. And happy. And relaxed.

And it will be wonderful!

---------------

P.S. -- I have been married twice. My first time, we did the big wedding, 140 guests, church and fancy reception at Mount Vernon. While the marriage didn't work, the wedding day was a blast and was wonderful and very beautiful (even though we did it on a pretty tight budget -- I actually thought of becoming a wedding planner after planning this one!).

This time, my dh and I flew to New Zealand, just he and I ... and didn't even know where we were getting married until the day of. We had set up the things that were important to us -- the celebrant, our attire and we hired 2 fabulous photographers, and wrote our own vows. But planned nothing else. And for us, it was wonderful, magical and amazing.

So I have the perspective of doing it two totally different ways -- and I've learned the MOST important thing is to do what's right for YOU, which will allow you to enjoy and relax. :-)

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Saturday, September 08, 2007 - 2:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    

quote:

fancy reception at Mount Vernon


?????!!

Oh! I bet she means Mount Vernon, as in George Washington's estate, not the teeny wedding chapel I have picked out in Mount Vernon, WA. LOL.

Supergranny
Member

02-03-2005

Saturday, September 08, 2007 - 2:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Supergranny a private message Print Post    
What a fun thread. How sweet of you to share all these wedding plans and ideas with all of us.

Azriel
Member

08-01-2000

Saturday, September 08, 2007 - 4:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Azriel a private message Print Post    
I just got back from getting my daughter married off and saw this thread. My advice is to keep it SIMPLE! On the attendants gifts - people participate in your wedding because it is an honor. The gifts are meant to be a remembrance of the occasion, not a full blown gift. The gifts should be thoughtful and personal, but they don't have to be (and in my opinion they shouldn't be) expensive.

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 1:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
Yankee, it is sorta important to me that they all match, in a weird way. It's funny, I was never that girl who dreamed of ponies and princesses and tiaras and all that pomp when I thought of my wedding day. Until the day I actually announced it to my family, I envisioned just the two of us on the beach, sending out a photo to those I thought might care after all is said and done. I almost feel like I'm throwing a party to show my family that I really do love this guy, if that makes sense. I'd be willing to march down to the courthouse tomorrow and get it over with, if I had my way. I really just wanted a diamond ring, a vacation, and an air of legitimacy around the babies I need to start having NOW.

There are four girls and three guys joining us. I think the girls will be wearing matching white skirts, with each in a different colour top - yellow, orange, red and pink. Boys the same deal but white shorts, with tops ranging green, blue and purple.

Trust me, if there's one thing I've learned already, it's to keep it simple, and keep it about US. We announced this to our family six weeks ago, and I have yet to hear from my grandparents. They are extremely wealthy and wouldn't have thought twice about the price of joining us... they are also extremely judgemental and I haven't thought twice about the fact that they're not invited. Even my best friend since 9th grade isn't invited.

I haven't spent a dime yet and I'm terrified about the budget. I've spent three years as a project manager, where all I did from 9-5 was worry about a timeline and a budget. You'd think I'd do well at this.

I'm close to signing the contract for Casa Blanca. I just need to work out travel dates with the wedding planner and the airline. I could tell you right now how scared I am to be planning all of this, but the sheer terror wouldn't come across in printed form, LOL. What kind of woman doesn't want to plan her wedding day??

Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions and advice. I'll try not to go too Bridezilla here but it's nice to know I have an avenue to vent when the girls I know and love just don't get it. None of my girlfriends are married... I can't believe at 28 I'm the first to walk this road...

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 1:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
BTW, Azriel, congrats to your daughter! Thanks for the insight on gifts. We're thinking maybe pearl earrings for the girls...? I'd like to be able to find a local artisan in Belize who can provide some nice trinkets as gifts... but we'll see.

Juju... keep the Canada Day / Fourth of July weekend open next summer. If I do decide to throw my hands up in the air and say " it, let's just go to Juju's chapel in Washington", I might be showing up on your doorstep in a gown, asking to be fed.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 5:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
It's all about making a memory and it's your memory to make Karen.

Yankee_in_ca
Member

08-01-2000

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 9:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yankee_in_ca a private message Print Post    
It sounds lovely, Karen. Really.

Juju, yes, I meant Mount Vernon as in George Washington's estate in Virginia. We had our reception at the Inn on the property. It was December, so the place was decorated for Christmas, with trees, wreaths, etc. -- and we didn't have to pay for any of that decoration!!! LOL

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 - 1:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
That place in Belize is gorgeous!

Biscottiii
Member

05-29-2004

Monday, September 17, 2007 - 1:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biscottiii a private message Print Post    
Karen, sounds perfectly LOVELY what you're planning. One thing to make sure of is the Preacher Person.

My niece, for her 2nd big wedding, and her new husband did an extremely expensive wedding a couple years ago at the Phoenix (Arizona) Zoo. Catered sitdown meal, the whole ten yards. She totally left her Mom out of the planning other than yammering for money ("But Mom, I only need ANOTHER $10,000!" 2 days before the big event. I'm still so ready to disinherit the kid, but that's another story.)

Two nights before, turned out the best friend (yikes, he had his Minister's license somehow over the Internet)....drum roll please....got cold feet. Said he had never performed a wedding before. We called an elderly paster, that had married my Sis & her husband, in a panic. But we sounded like a bunch of kooks. "We want you to go to the zoo in two days to do a wedding." He was confused sounding and his wife hung up on us.

Night of the rehearsal dinner (no rehearsal, after all, some mishaps with the Zoo wedding coordinators) with the wine flowing aplenty, the groom and his buddies, incl the Internet Minister, were handwriting out the wedding vows on a large sheet of computer paper, giving the 'minister' buckup encouragement, (bride was still busy planning the seating arrangements). Well, next day 'minister dude' was so nervous he speed talked through the vows. That $30k+ wedding ceremony was done in about 8 minutes, start to finish. Unfortunately, one part 'minister dude' left out was the exchanging of the rings. Later, the disc jockey had to call them all out onto the dance floor during the reception to exchange the rings.

So, (as I have no doubt you will!) make sure your Minister has some experience and thoughtfully write out your vows - in advance! BTW - my niece and all the attendants did look lovely and the food was actually tasty. What a wedding.

Biscottiii
Member

05-29-2004

Monday, September 17, 2007 - 1:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biscottiii a private message Print Post    
Azriel, congratulations to your daughter as well!

You all are so right, simple makes it more special and intimate IMO. People will remember it more and having fond memories.

Biscottiii
Member

05-29-2004

Monday, September 17, 2007 - 1:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biscottiii a private message Print Post    
Whew Karen! I just noticed and clicked on the Casa Blanca site and it sounds like a full wedding package where they KNOW what they're doing! Probably with a Preacher who knows what the heck they're doing, or they wouldn't keep the wedding business flowing.

I've been wondering lately how the recent hurricanes may have impacted your wedding plans? If the building was left okay? Looks like a truly beautiful venue. Everyone should have the vacation of a lifetime and a wedding they will never forget!

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Monday, September 17, 2007 - 2:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
Wow, Bisc, sounds like a fiasco! Hopefully your niece and her husband were able to overlook the imperfections of the day.

I've talked to the management at Casa Blanca in the past week and they've not given me any indication that their property was damaged. I know I may be pushing my luck, timing wise - going at the start of hurricane season and all, but it's gotta be Canada Day, and it's gotta be Belize. Besides, I'm secretly looking forward to it pouring rain on my wedding day, LOL.

Next headache: Trying to arrange for three people to fly from Vancouver, and four to fly from Toronto, and get them all on the same connecting flight out of Houston. Never mind getting enough Atavan to get my Mum through a 13-hour flight...

:-)