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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 6:22 pm
I just have to add here: One of my fondest memories of my Mom was one time when I came home crying from 3rd grade because the teacher tried to make me change from left to right handed. My mom had me in that car so fast, headed for the school and she went straight to the principal's office with a full head of steam. At the time, I was sort of embarrassed but proud of my Mom at the same time. All these years later and I'm still proud of my Mom for doing that. You just never know what will impress the hell out of your kids.
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 6:35 pm
I think I might use this occasion to help my son learn about patience and differences in behaviors and play based on where you are at the time. I think I would tell him that the weekend will pass quickly and that school is really not the place for toys. I would make a point to tell him that come Monday we will be SURE to get those toys back, but that for now, we would respect his teacher's decision to do this even though we don't necessarily agree with it. Switching a child from the natural left hand to the forced hand is a battle I would take on...but not having some toys for a few days could become a bigger lesson on many levels. I would definately be sympathetic toward him and bond with him over it. Unless, of course, there were already rules in place regarding types of toys at school and he knew they were not allowed. Then it would be a "learn your lesson...suffer your consequences" kind of thing. Life will not always be fair, but how we handle the unfairness of it can ultimately lead our kids to a sense of entitlement or an ability to deal with small struggles that come along in life. Maybe I'm too hard...but I think every opportunity for a larger lesson in life should be taken.
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Justavice
Member
11-22-2005
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 7:27 pm
Mictay, I worry that telling the teacher it could have been handled better might put her on the defensive and impact her future interactions with your son. What about letting her know in the future if your son has items he should not have in school, to keep them until you arrive to pick him up and return them to you so you can discipline him according to the behavior management plan that has been most effective with him at home.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:30 pm
If he was playing with them after he had been given the chance/warning then I don't think it was that terrible that she took them. If it was very near the end of the day (even in line on the way out) what other choice did she have? I think it is just one of those things that a kid might have to learn the hard way--that if a teacher tells you some rule, you need to respect that rule or suffer the consequences...
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:49 pm
Oh, in this case, I think it is wise to just let him get through the weekend without the toys. I just wanted to tell that story about my mom, but that is a totally different circumstance. Just was saying how some things may impact your child that you might not even realize. Sorry for not being more clear before. LOL
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Mictay
Member
09-29-2006
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 4:46 am
I'll let you all know what happens after my meeting with her on Mon. and I do plan on letting her explain what happen.I guess when it comes to your child you are very defensive and everything he's been through in the past few months has me even more protective of him.
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Sewmommy
Member
07-06-2004
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 7:52 am
Mictay, I had a teacher once tell me "I'll believe half of what your child tells me, if you'll believe half of what your child tells you." I'm still having to do this with dd 7. She is known for telling half truths or elaborating wildly. And while we are getting a handle on it, communication with the teacher is key for her. I'm far from saying that is what is going on here with Michael, and I may be way off base. Its great you are going to talk to his teacher.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 10:35 am
I have a gopher in my back yard. My dad talked to me about poisons but I want to find a 'humane' way to get him to move on. Any ideas would be appreciated??

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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 10:43 am
Van...flooding his hole sometimes works. Usually there are two openings, though, so you'd have to put a hose down each.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 10:51 am
What about having Maggie out there? Doesn't her just being there make it a less that attractive site for a gopher? Or find out what Bill Murray did in Caddyshack (I never saw the whole movie so I don't know!)
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 10:57 am
I'll bring my cats over.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:05 am
lol .. I like the cat idea Mames. Julie, Maggie sits on the patio and watches the mounds of dirt. I don't know if they're moving or what but she just sit's and watches. I'm not sure if gophers come out but I wouldn't want Maggie to eat it. Yuck! I've heard of the hose idea. I think I'll try that first.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:11 am
Maybe walk her around the yard to get her scent all over the place. Maybe her scent could be enough to make the gopher wanna move...??? Or do you have a friend with a dog that could run around your yard from time to time? I know the rabbits do not bother our plants in our backyard cuz they never know if one of our dogs are gonna come out. The rabbits do for sure get the plants/flowers in neighbors backyard who do not have dogs...
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Landileigh
Member
07-29-2002
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:15 am
nick, keep maggie away from the gophers, they're bigger than she is! oh and dump maggie poop down the gopher holes. he'll leave.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:18 am
lol Landi, I was thinking the same thing as I was reading Julie's post. Its a good idea but I doubt Mags is going to intimidate anyone. I like the idea of dumping poop down the hole. I can do that. lol! 
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:18 am
Our dog and cat don't keep our gophers away. Sure wish they did. The cat has caught a few and all I can say is ewwwwwww.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:38 am
That is a great idea--the poop. Sounds funny, but I bet it is WAY EFFECTIVE!!! They also sell deer urine at sporting good stores, I wonder if that'd work too. (I have no idea of a deer is a threat to a gopher though...)
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:42 am
lol @ deer urine. I bet it would work Julie! I was also thinking red pepper flakes.
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 11:48 am
Actually, I'd like to know what keeps deer away. They've eaten my pretty gardens down to ugly nubs. My neighbors have been feeding them and they are no longer scared of humans. They're incredibly destructive and have lost ALL their cuteness to me since all my fruit trees under five years are pretty much dead now.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Saturday, November 17, 2007 - 10:52 pm
I'd like to know what keeps deer away. a really high fence! ok on a serious note, a motion detector/ water sprinkler or a Sonic Sound deterrent. OR....plant deer resistant plants, I have a pamphlet somewhere. It can be researched I guess.
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Prisonerno6
Member
08-31-2002
| Sunday, November 18, 2007 - 5:14 am
Bee, I had a huge problem with deer chomping my tulips and roses and coral bells to the ground last spring. I sprayed everything with Deer Off, and had no more problems. Everything came back, as well.
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Beekindpleez
Member
07-18-2006
| Sunday, November 18, 2007 - 9:52 am
Funny, Suns. Actually, we have a really high fence for the front area, so I still have that. Deer resistant plants is an interesting thought. We had been talking about how they instinctivly knew what was safe to eat. Prisoner...I will definately be looking for Deer Off. DH and sons have been peeing all over the "back forty" as we like to call it as we heard they don't like that. LOL
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Monday, November 19, 2007 - 5:08 am
DH and sons have been peeing all over the "back forty" as we like to call it Your neighbors must love you.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Monday, November 19, 2007 - 5:31 am
okay, I've got a Good one. Some of you may remember back four years ago when I was given a 9 yr old to look after because she was so aggressive towards her mom and siblings. The parents were also going thru a tough divorce. Anyways, much water has gone under the bridge. The mom gave up custody within a year of my returning her. Her dad and his new family has had her since. She is now fourteen and ran away. She asked for my help so I was to act as a mediator to get her and her dad negotiating. I had the separate meetings and I can see there was a chance of reconcilliation. Now this is where I need advice. At first During our private confidential meeting She lied her face off (extremely manipulative and convincing liar since she was a tiny child) Of course, since it was me and she felt confortable she started telling me the truth. She didnt just run away. She had this planned. She had a NEW friend in school who had a big house and her mom just happened to be abused in the past. THis girl handpicked this family and when she decided to leave home she spent three hours packing and it sounds like the lady picked her up AT HER HOUSE and TOOK her away to stay with their family. When I called to come get the youngster for the final face to face meeting with her dad, the girl refused to come saying "Why!?" The lady then got on the phone and started saying all kinds of stuff about how she was abused and she can tell that "girl" always tells the truth. She is a super kid and there is abused so needed to be taken out of the house. I did not say the truth because I had promised the girl that our meetings AND the Counselling sessions she had at nine were Confidential. The woman then went off on the dad when he called so he told the lady to keep the girl. NOW, I have paperwork that this girl filled out when we did some powerthinking, discussing of the situation and wrote down goals. Now it seems like that lady is 'blocking' contact with the girl and the girl, in emails, is saying stuff that sounds coached. She seems to have completely forgotten she told me the truth when she was down four days ago. I DO NOT know what to do. I am thinking about responding quite strongly in an email and reminding her of her paperwork BUT would be afraid that this Lady who took her from her house will somehow take it as 'cohersion' or threatening. The girl is a compulsive liar but is extremely gifted. This is not the first time she has made elaborate plans and then carried them out. Always it is done with accusations of bizarre behaviour. For instance, when she was with me, she would tell people that I was mean to her, swore at her all the time and she was NEVER allowed to do anything fun. At nine, She told my vet that I was purposefully stomping on my dog's arthritic feet when I took my old dog in for a visit. When my dog died a year later I went to their house and tearfully told her, to which she responded 'GOOD I'd made the dog suffer long enough'. I found out she had made false allegations at her counsellor when I had her. In other words, she is a real troublemaker, With a gift to act sweet and innocent then turns like Dr Jeckle Mr Hyde with saying the foulest meanest intent to hurt things. SHOULD I stay involved? I am really only one of two people she knows who is educated and mentally stable. I would hate for her to feel even MORE abandoned as I KNOW she did this runaway to make her easygoing dad suffer and then he would spoil her even more when she came back. He is so stressed he doesnt want her back. She is abusing her much younger siblings. DO I abandon this girl? Also, I know it isnt my place, but shouldnt the police be notified that these people took her from her HOME?? then filled her brain with abuse crap? Oh I forgot to mention that the mom was mentally ill and a recent development that made the girl horribly jealous, was because the other two siblings now live with dad too. She used to beat them up which is why her mom got rid of her years ago. I personally WANT to stay involved. The girl asked me to help her find out if she has what her mom has. Her dad gave me permission to take her for a Full Psychiatric Exam. Now this abduction lady has refused to let me take the girl . What a mess. If anyone knows any specifics or has any similar involvements, I would love to know how you resolved it.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Monday, November 19, 2007 - 6:18 am
Oh my goodness Sunshyne, what a heartbreaking and frustrating situation you are in. I am in complete agreement with you that the girl needs a pysch evaluation, based on one statement as much as the rest 'GOOD I'd made the dog suffer long enough'. That says to me that the girl is confusing fact with her contrived version of reality. If the woman will not let you take the child then I think the authorities do need to be involved. If she truly believes this girl is abused then she would have no reason to block this evaluation, that makes me think she is pushing her own agenda (whatever that my be). Do you know a police officer or similiar authority that would knock on the woman's door and explain that should she not allow an evaluation that the family will have to consider criminal charges and going the court route? I don't think that would be illegal or immoral unless it was an empty threat which it wouldn't be. If the woman is in over her head then perhaps that would be enough to scare her into compliance. I have no personal experience that could help, hopefully someone else will but my best wishes are with you and this child.
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