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Archive through November 16, 2007

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Oct. 2007 ~ Dec. 2007: Free Expressions: Advice please....: Archive through November 16, 2007 users admin

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Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 7:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Well, Mictay, you have at least given her a choice on the mall thing. Is it better not to go at all or to go and have "The Mom" lurking around somewhere? Then it becomes her choice.

Ophiliasgrandma
Member

09-04-2001

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ophiliasgrandma a private message Print Post    
Times have changed. When I was 10 I started taking the bus to the movie theater. No problems, not much scary out there...but now, not a chance I'd let my 12 year old off by herself to the mall; the predators are everywhere.

Don't forget, Mictay, you are her mother. You are not called on to be her friend. Friends I'm sure she has. I'd rather have my daughter thinks she hates me than have her kidnapped, raped or murdered. It happens all to often these days. Protect her even if it's against her will.

Mictay
Member

09-29-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mictay a private message Print Post    
I guess for her,not going at all.I consider myself a "cool mom" I guess she don't see it that way LOL!

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 11:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
If it helps at all, Mictay, my Mum was one of those 'over protective, never let me do anything I wanted' when I thought I was more than old enough. I hated her for it, I thought she was just being mean.

Today, looking back, I love her more than ever for being the Mum she was, and sticking to her guns. If she's mad at you now, she'll grow out of it. And OG's right - she has friends already, friends to complain about her Mom to, LOL. Do what feels right, as a Mom.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 11:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
I think it depends on a lot of things if I would let my 13 yr old go to the mall without me. I did because we live in a small town and the mall is not that big and I taught my kids well about strangers and dangers.

Also, I knew their friends.

Nyheat
Member

08-09-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 11:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Nyheat a private message Print Post    
I think it's a good idea to supervise the first few times and see what the environment is like at the mall. You could even park yourself at the food court and read a book while they run around a bit (mallrats!) and have some freedom, with the understanding that they check back in. I think you have the right instincts.

Beekindpleez
Member

07-18-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 11:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Beekindpleez a private message Print Post    
I didn't let my kids (all boys, by the way) go to the mall unsupervised pretty much until they had driver's licenses. I would go, too, and pass the time in the vicinity but not right with them. Part of the reason for this is that they might have LEFT the mall. Even good kids who are told over and over might fall victim to peer pressure and do something they know good and well they are NOT to do.

In this day and age we just can't be too careful with our precious children.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 12:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I think it's a good idea to supervise the first few times and see what the environment is like at the mall. You could even park yourself at the food court and read a book while they run around a bit (mallrats!) and have some freedom, with the understanding that they check back in. I think you have the right instincts.

I was thinking just that. In fact, you could get a lot done while at the mall. Have a check in time a couple of times while they are there, that way you know they are at the mall, they are not leaving, they aren't running off with boys, etc. I wasn't allowed at the mall by myself until I was 14, but that was 12 years ago and our mall is Tiny. You could also be a spy while they are there...

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 12:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
My oldest son didn't start going to the mall alone until he was almost 16. My youngest is not allowed to go alone and he's 14.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 12:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
peer pressure? is that what happened to me? lol, I think so.
I remember when my step daughter would go to the skating rink, and I would tell her that I would be back a little bit later to check on her. She would know that I was coming back but not when so she couldn't leave with her friends. This worked well, one time I went to check on her and I could tell something was up right away. Ha, I tricked her friends into telling me about a party they were all going to, yeah, she was waiting for me to leave.
I knew all the tricks, or so I thought. I know they got away with some things but so did I.

Mictay
Member

09-29-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 2:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mictay a private message Print Post    
Thanks for all the advice,and since you guys were so helpful,I need some more advice...................

I went to pick up my son today from school as soon as I saw him I knew he was on the verge of tears,I guess he brought some of his wrestling figures to school today and the teacher told him to keep them in his backpack until he got home,well I guess while he was getting ready to leave the teacher took the figures away and told him he could have them back on Monday,and told him he would never bring them to school again,and Michael said she yelled at him.Now I should say that Michael is the type of kid that if you even raise your voice to him,he cries,so i'm not sure if she actually yelled at him or raised her voice.IMO she should have written me A note asking me not to allow him to bring these things to school anymore and gave them back to him when he was walking out the door to go home.I think the weekend was way to long to take them away.

The other thing about this whole thing is Michael just went back to school after being in the hospital for A month,I mean he's still trying to adjust back in to school.

Their is something about this teacher,we just cannot see to see eye to eye,there have been other things since Michael went back to school that have really gotten under my skin,I have A conference on Monday with her.

Just one more thing,thanks to everyone for listening to my problems.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 2:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
How old is Michael?

Mictay
Member

09-29-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 2:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mictay a private message Print Post    
He is 8yrs old

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 2:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I know me and I know I could try not to but I would be in that conference with an attitude and ready to strangle her for making my baby cry. But we should be more mature and I'd just say something to her at the conference that you didn't agree with how she handled things.

but on the real i would've went back into that school and gotten his toys back and that teacher would've gotten her feelings hurt.

Mictay
Member

09-29-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 2:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mictay a private message Print Post    
I did go back into the school,but she was already in A conference,I think it might be A good thing it gave me a chance to calm down.

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 2:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
All she had to do was tell him to keep them in his backpack and leave it at that. She tells him to do it and then later, gets angry about it. There was no need for that. It also seems that by now, she should know that Michael is a sensitive child and known that it would upset him. I'm glad that you have a conference soon so you can tell her how you feel about the situation. I would, maturely as Mocha says, tell her that you understand that he shouldn't bring the toys to school but there should have been a better way of handling it.

then I would in my mind, see myself slapping her silly for making my child cry

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 3:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
it is about the 'wrestling' tie in I would think.

quite a few parents do not believe in all of that physical violence?? throwing and hitting that is done during the wrestling matches.

Around here thru the years, we've had kids killed by attempts to re-enact some wrestling moves. I can see a teacher really being upset and possibly concerned that this figurines were brought to school and overreacted.

Just a theory.

******
Even good kids who are told over and over might fall victim to peer pressure and do something they know good and well they are NOT to do.


My post could have gone on forever so I didnt go into explanations but that is why I made the comment about 'school friends' in comparision to REAL friends.

I've seen kids ditched by the socalled friends because they wouldnt go along with what the others wanted to do.

or shoplift.

I do agree with all the comments which talked about how things are different now and we wouldnt want a kid all alone in a mall.

now a GROUP of kids I feel is safe. IF they can be trusted to stay together.

And I have to say I had quite a giggle imagining kids goofing off in a mall with Mom walking back n forth doing 'checks'.

Most parents I know would never have the time for that. It shows true parental Dedication to spend time supervising!!

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 3:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Was he playing with them after she told him to keep them in his back pack? If so, then I guess she did warn him. If not, then she is really mean!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 3:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I know me and I know I could try not to but I would be in that conference with an attitude and ready to strangle her for making my baby cry. But we should be more mature and I'd just say something to her at the conference that you didn't agree with how she handled things.

but on the real i would've went back into that school and gotten his toys back and that teacher would've gotten her feelings hurt.


Me too, Mocha. It is not a Teacher's place to discipline my child beyond school hours. It is not her place to take posessions that do not belong to her to keep until she deems necessary.

I would have gone in and interrupted the conference, or waited for the conference to be over. I don't think it's right for her to take them away from him and keep them all weekend. She punished him by taking them away, she could have and should have given them back by the end of the day, and then maybe come out to speak to you after school and given them directly to you.

I had a teacher who picked on me in 7th and 8th grade. She had it in for me and I never could figure out why. I was a good kid in jr. high, I did my work, got ok grades, participated, etc. No matter what I did, I was always wrong and was used as an example to the entire class.

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 3:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
Did you have an older sibling go through the school a few years ahead of you, Escapee? LOL, my older bro was a wild child and I had more than a few teachers not even give me a chance once they saw my last name. I straightened all of them out PDQ, though.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 3:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I'd be pretty angry but thinking in the long term there isn't a lot of advantage to your child if you fight with his or her teacher.

So I would listen to her explanation first and then state my concerns in a calm but firm way.

(At least that is what I hope I would do )

Mictay
Member

09-29-2006

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 3:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mictay a private message Print Post    
Sunshyne4U,my boyfriend said the same thing about it being "wrestling".

i'm going to let her explain what happen,but I do plan on telling her she could have handled it different

Escapee,I think it was the end of the day,like they were getting ready to leave,and I think while he was waiting to be dismissed he had them out.

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 5:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
If he took them out again after being warned, I think it's pretty standard procedure, around here anyway, to take the toys away.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 5:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Yeah Mamie I was thinking that on my way home. If he was playing with them during class or something for her to do that?? But then you take them away and possibly keep them over the weekend but with an epxlanation as to why she was doing that.

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Friday, November 16, 2007 - 5:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
I agree, Mocha. She should have explained it to mom.