Author |
Message |
Missy2
Member
07-31-2001
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 4:53 am
I APPRECIATE THE HONESTY!!! It is much needed. Its been hard for me because I came from a BAD SITUATION into this. I have a decent savings. I'm going to look at an apartment on Friday. I need to think about things, although I've had PLENTY of time. I really need the counselling and feel like I've needed it for a long time. I know in the end we would be happier apart. I think I was just so taken back that the first thoughts he had were how do we split up the bills, which also annoyed me because they've always been even. Sorry for posting all my news and drama here! Gawd!!! I talk to my mom and she is just like either leave or work it out. I really struggle with opening up to people about problems, so posting here is my only outlet. Which is why counselling will definitely help! Have a great day everyone! Thanks so much for your honesty and support. I appreciate it more than I could ever express!
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 5:33 am
Missy, I think Huk and Eeyore are absolutely right. Remember, Love shouldn't hurt and shouldn't have doubts. Take this time to just try and get yourself together. Enlist in the help of friends and family if you can to help you not end the relationship, but to begin your new chapter on your life as a single, free and strong woman. You can do it! Take care
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 6:26 am
Missy, is your guy my husband??? haha we seem to be having the same heart problems. I feel with you at this time. Hope your counselling helps. I am starting tonight. We know the answer, we are just looking for another one. As that answer wasnt what we wanted. Thinking of you..
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 7:13 am
((((((((((Christina))))))))) Hope you can find the strength and courage to take the next steps you need in your life, whatever it may be.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 7:23 am
Good you talked to your mom. Now get an apt that allows pets and get yourself a cat.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 7:26 am
((((((Christina and Missy2)))))) I have also noticed the parallels in both of your situations. Good luck to both of you. Missy2, not sure how good you are at navigating the board. Christina is posting in the Ex-Files thread. You could post there too or continue here. Ex-Files
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 7:57 am
wanna move in together Missy2? Bet we could have lots in common. We deverve the best and we know it!!
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Missy2
Member
07-31-2001
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 8:37 am
Hey Christina, He's not my hubby. You are right though, I know the answer but searching for another. Which does not exist...we get along but I guess its not really getting ALONG as much as it is avoiding problems and silently stewing. I think I just keep hoping that he is the man he told me he was...and that I want him to be instead of the man that he really is. Immature, lazy and wanting to party all the time. Oh well. I want to move on but when it gets difficult I find myself scrambling backwards in fear. So here we are today okey dokey well not really but no longer discussing it. So weird.... Maybe I will wait till January and revisit this but ask him to leave first. Leaving seems like it'd be easier for him!!! We do deserve the best!! I'm ready to move!! 
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 8:57 am
Yep, we are in the same boat. You and I are going through the same things. Just need to get the strength. Hang in there.
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Cinnamongirl
Member
01-10-2001
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 10:42 am
Sorry for posting all my news and drama here! Thats what these boards are for!! So many people have such good advice and so many have walked the path before you so its all good. keep posting! Another reason its so hard to leave is because you do love him, you wouldn't be there if you didn't love something about him, its not ALL bad. Its just when the bad starts outweighing the good and one side isn't willing to work at it.. Yeah, when you realize hes not the man you expected/wanted him to be....thats a kicker! You kinda go thru a mourning period, your plans and dreams with that person have to change and its getting over that thats hard. I've read thru both your threads on here and so many times I thought...OMG they're talking about my ex! Its so much the same.. Follow your heart and you'll be fine. Keep posting
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 10:59 am
((((Cinnamongirl)))) for all you've been through and come out smiling and able to give advice.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 11:47 am
Now get an apt that allows pets and get yourself a cat. ROFLMAO! I love it. That's the best advice yet!!!
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Cinnamongirl
Member
01-10-2001
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 12:14 pm
Thanks Juju!! Its funny but its helping me at the same time 
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 12:17 pm
I think I just keep hoping that he is the man he told me he was...and that I want him to be instead of the man that he really is. This really is the crux of it for me Missy. It's not about what he says he'll do or promises he'll be, it's about how he actually is. And it doesn't sound like he's walking the talk. You have to base your decision on how things really are, not on promises that never materialize. Also, not on a fantasy or dream of what you want him to be. I hope you will let us know how counseling is going.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 12:29 pm
Great advice, getting a cat. I kicked my boyfriend out and got Costa. I still think that was the best decision. Costa talks back, but he never forgets to put the lid down on the toilet and never tracks mud into the house on my cream carpeting. He's demanding, but then he'll turn around and curl up with me, or headbutt me while he purrs so loudly I'm sure my neighbors can hear him. I talk to him, he talks to me. And when I need real long snuggles, his Kassie sister is purr-fect for that! Smartest decision I made... kicking the BF out and replacing him with a cat (or two).
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 12:49 pm
I think Missy and Christina should move in together for a year and help each other get thru their hard times... Any chance you guys live near each other?
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 12:55 pm
Great idea Julieboo!! LOL
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 1:04 pm
I am in Ontario, Canada LOL
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 5:40 pm
Juliboo - that's hilarious - and brilliant!
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Thursday, November 15, 2007 - 5:51 pm
Christina, are you the same Christina who was trying to quit smoking here about 6 years ago, same time Franny was?
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 5:22 am
Yes probably was me. I have quit and started a few times since. Tough, tough,tough!
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Missy2
Member
07-31-2001
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 7:58 am
I'm in NH. I'm smoke free quit 11 years ago 
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:00 am
Well, one thing at a time I guess. And that means you have been at TVCH with the rest of us for many long years, LOL.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:01 am
Hey, two things you can work on together!!! I think Christina should start looking for a job in New Hampshire!! I know someone who just might have a room open in January!!!
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:04 am
Hey Christina..we are in the same Province...I live near London, where do you live? If we are close I have some shit kickin' boots (yes pun intended lol) to give your dh a good a$$ kick if he needs it lol)
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 8:31 am
I'll back you Skootz!! I'm only about 1 hour away from Skootz. 
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 9:41 am
Skootz, I thought those boots were for something *else*!!! 
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 10:12 am
I am in Smiths Falls, would love to move to Merrickville. But this new job is in Ottawa. So I will look there. Have to ask hubby to sell the house first. That is the only thing to split. We both payed exactly the same for the mortgage. We both had the cash, I borowed 5000.00 from him. I pay him back in installments every 2 weeks. Almost there ,paying him back.
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 10:40 am
Well Eeyore, what do you think...let Wappy at em?
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Eeyoreslament
Member
07-20-2003
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 1:10 pm
OMG YES!!!!
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Christina
Member
08-07-2005
| Friday, November 16, 2007 - 1:45 pm
Thank you all.
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