Author |
Message |
Lateeda
Member
12-01-2006
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 8:11 am
Landi - I've been the Queen of volunteers for the past, oh, 12 years! LOL Before we moved I was Leader of TWO girl scout troops AND served on the Service Unit Board, on the board of THREE PTAs - elementary, middle and jr high schools - cheer coach, soccer mom, Room mother, orchestra booster, dance team mom/ring leader...not to mention our church groups and VBS! I am currently the room mom for my Kindergartner, but it is hard to just "jump in" when you know NO ONE! I don't know the roads, where the stores are, I don't have contacts to organize, gather donations, make suggestions. AND...whether people care to admit it or not, there is a not-so-subtle resistance to "Northerners" who come down South and try to run/change things. I tried to get involved w/my 13 yr olds' cheer team - as a past coach/judge I thought I could be of use - but I was dismissed, pretty bluntly by those running the show. I don't get it...if someone offered to help me w/anything I jumped at the chance! I didn't see that person as arrogant, I appreciated the fresh point of view and new ideas! But that doesn't happen here...in fact, I had volunteered for the 8th grade PTA to help w/school dances and social committee stuff. EVERY SINGLE IDEA I had, the reply was, "Well, we've always done it this way." So I stopped going to the mtgs. Some of the things were so Bass-ackwards it was laughable! But hey, why change for the better/easier when we've ALWAYS done it like this??? So yeah, I know being involved is a benefit to my kids, a great way to meet people, make contacts, keep your kids active...but it isn't as easy as it seems when you are the new guy.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 8:23 am
good post lateeda. you've done what i would do. wasn't trying to criticize, just so often i hear parents that don't want to get involved. glad to hear about your active involvement! keep it up!
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Cheri4angels
Member
11-15-2006
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 9:55 am
Lateeda, did you by chance move to a small southern town? We got the cold shoulder too, 12 years ago, when we moved to a little farming community in Tennessee. People were friendly but there was a pervasive attitude that if you weren't born there you were naturally inferior. It really was horrible. We lived there 5 years then moved to a slightly bigger town on the outskirts of Nashville, where people were used to new people moving in, and accepted them. I don't even know what to say to help you. Despite our best efforts we never were accepted.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 10:08 am
Lateeda, that is so frustrating! ((Lateeda))
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Teachmichigan
Member
07-22-2001
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 1:53 pm
I feel your pain Lateeda. We moved 15 years ago for my job, and while I have friends at work, we are still "oustiders." The first week we moved, one teaching couple had us over. That has been the only time in 15 years, we've been invited by anyone to come over for dinner. We're actively involved in extracurriculars, we have a home church, and we've had people to our house numerous times. I've never fretted over it (got enough stuff to do to keep busy and I do enjoy peace and quite once in awhile), but we have never been allowed to forget that we were not born and raised in this little dinky town. DH and I joke and say if it weren't for our families, we'd have no social life at all! 
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Urgrace
Member
08-19-2000
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 4:13 pm
Well, the kids might be accepted after they grow up and have kids in school, but even 28 years in a place other than your original hometown isn't enough to be accepted, either. Lateeda, I was a yankee kid brought up in Georgia schools. That is why my kids were not brought up there. I hope it changes for the better while your other kids are attending the Georgia schools. Try sidling up to the 'leader'. It helps.
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Rissa
Member
03-20-2006
| Friday, May 11, 2007 - 6:48 pm
Lateeda, I hear ya. My 17 yr old is really struggling, same as your 15 yr old. I have actually hit the point where I am taking her to talk to our doctor next week about the possibility of seeing a therapist or even depression medication. She cries at the drop of a hat about wanting to go home. She was a 90% plus student last year, this year is really struggling. She talks to her old friends constantly and it just makes her feel worse. She has made new friends but even that doesn't seem to be helping. My 15 yr old and 11 yr old settled in fairly quickly and both now say they wouldn't go home even if given the chance. You can imagine how well this attitude goes over with the 17 yr old who takes it as a personal attack everytime the other two mention something positive about their lives. The ironic part is that it was the 17yr old who was most positive about the move, was determined to treat it as an adventure, a mini-move before heading off to university. But the school was such a disapointment to her right from day one and that started the ball rolling. I have been struggling with how to make it better for 8 months now and have decided for my daughters sake, it's better to let someone more qualified try. I wish I could help with suggestions for your 15 yr old, but as none of them worked for me....? My one saving grace was that she got a part-time job fairly immediately and that is where she made a few friends right off the bat. It's the one thing that she gets any enjoyment from at all. I tried to make sure we did a lot of family things together but she is at an age where that wouldn't interest her no matter where we lived. LOL My 15 yr old rock-climbs and that's a great outlet, it's something she can do alone and it's meditative but there ARE others there so it can be social as well (whichever she prefers on that particular day). Karate is great too, same reasoning.... lots of kids there but you are not supposed to talk during class. There is no pressure to have to talk to strangers but yet it's a group setting. I hope it gets easier for your family Lateeda!!
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Lateeda
Member
12-01-2006
| Saturday, May 12, 2007 - 4:20 am
Cheri - no it's not small - Metro Atlanta! LOL, but it is rather snobby. People here are more consumed by outward appearances - nice house, expensive cars in the drive, immaculate lawns...yet when we were house-hunting(I looked at 54 homes in 3 days!!) I would go into a beautiful home that had a mattress on the floor and no real furniture! People will let themselves be house-poor and auto-poor instead of being comfortable in their own home! So I've learned that appearances are everything here. Thank you to Teach, Urgrace and Rissa - I honestly thought is was ME doing a poor job of dealing w/the move and not being able to help my oldest "get over it". I get the culture shock...but there is just SO much more than that going on... The schools are my biggest gripe - there is a very noticeable difference in what our Ohio school was doing and what is going on here. Believe me, when the national rankings came out on public education, I was not suprised to hear that Georgia ranks only 46 out of 50!!
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Saturday, May 12, 2007 - 4:36 pm
Unfreakinbelievable!! I am on a listserve for my T-cell lymphoma, and an e-mail was sent by a new member....Dundee Lackey. What is the statistical chance of that happening right after the discussion of the word lackey? Wow
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Sunday, May 13, 2007 - 7:14 am
I just want to gripe!
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Sunday, May 13, 2007 - 7:14 am
BTW, why can't my kids go get their mom a card? Is it because they don't have opposable thumbs????
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Sunday, May 13, 2007 - 10:52 am
Neighbors. UGH!
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Sunday, May 13, 2007 - 11:07 am
Okra, yuck!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Sunday, May 13, 2007 - 11:46 am
13 year old girls!!!!
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Suz
Member
10-13-2005
| Sunday, May 13, 2007 - 11:58 am
Ex-Daughter-in-law yelling in my ear for 10 min.
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Urgrace
Member
08-19-2000
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 9:19 am
Estranged daughter sent pictures, grad announcement and invitation to grad party of granddaughter. This is the same granddaughter who has never had anything to do with me, and told her other grandmother she hates me. I know she waited to send the invitation pretty much last minute in hopes I will not attend. All I can think of is calling and lying to her and telling her I am coming to her grad party, just so I can make her and her mother uncomfortable! I will not be sending her anything. She would just go around telling everybody how lame it is, no matter what, because she is a disrespectful brat. So how lame am I as a grandmother? Grrrrrr
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 9:27 am
Costa - not sure how old your kids are... but on their next b'day, pretend you didn't bother to get them anything and if they ask, say 'I got you the same thing you got me for Mother's Day'. They hopefully will get the message. LOL. At that point you can present them with their prezzies. How's that for a plan? I can predict they won't forget NEXT Mother's Day... (wink)
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 9:30 am
(((((((((Gracie))))))))))
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 9:39 am
I believe Costa's kids are cats! My sister, who I haven't spoken to in years called me for Mother's Day. Does it make a difference ... no! Do I care ... no! Does that make me an awful sister ... no! Gracie .. something's you just have to let go! 
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 9:54 am
LOL/oops/blush, about Costa's kids! (Yeah MINE didn't bother either. haha)
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 1:27 pm
It's the opposable thumb thing, MB.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 1:42 pm
LOL Jooj! 
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 1:58 pm
LOL... yeah, my kids have four legs, furry faces, and meow!!!! Definitely the opposable thumb thing. Plus, I think their disposable income is a wee bit on the light side! 
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 2:01 pm
BTW, Nick, I've got a sister from hell. I never speak to her, or rarely. And then, only when she's got a major emergency in her life. She's the world's biggest drama queen. I didn't hear from her for Mom's Day. BUT... she lives in the same city as my mother does (I live what? 900 miles away?). Did she go see my mother? Nope. She called her. And then she went to lunch with her friends. Geez louise! My mother and hubby got a brand new computer for Xmas, from me. And they said that was it for the next five years. However, for mom and dad's day, I'm splitting the dif and going to Colorado early June for a visit. And I live how far away???? Sisters! This one, when I think she's a blood relative, I long for a transfusion!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, May 14, 2007 - 2:05 pm
...so glad I'm an 'only'.
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