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Archive through July 02, 2007

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Apr. 2007 ~ Jun. 2007: Free Expressions (ARCHIVES): Advice Please... (ARCHIVES): Archive through July 02, 2007 users admin

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Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 3:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
ditto above!!!

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 3:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
I would attend the baby shower, and offer to take your niece to lunch at a later date, explaining you have a prior commitment. If her family is that toxic, she needs all the sane relatives she can find, and it wouldn't hurt to let her know that you are there for her.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 3:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Agreed. You have the perfect logical reason to attend the baby shower (prior commitment) and no logical reason to attend the grad party. I like Karuuna's suggestion as well.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 3:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
You could also schedule some special day with your niece when graduation stuff has settled down and you are back from the baby shower. Let her know that while you'd love to attend, you've already made a committment to go to a baby shower in another state, and that when you return you'd enjoy taking her out to do something both of you would find fun.

Your hubby offering to go is just sweet! Instead of viewing it as a cop out, think of it as he's able to take pictures and video the ceremony so you can see it when you get home.

It has to be tough to pick between the two especially with the family dynamics that'll be involved with each event, but I'm kinda with your mom. Pick the one that came first, because at least your niece is close enough you can plan something with her to celebrate later on.

Heh, on the flip side of your situation, yesterday my mil casually mentioned that hubby's nephew graduated high school Friday night. We recieved no announcement, phone call, email, post card to let us know. We wouldn't have been able to fly out to Texas to attend the ceremony, but would have liked to have sent a congratulations gift before hand. When I told Darren about it, I said I thought his nephew still had another year of high school left...he looked at me blankly and said "He's in high school? Are you sure?" LOL.

Eris
Member

11-13-2003

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 4:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Eris a private message Print Post    
Ditto all of the above....but can I take credit for all the great wisdom?

Jedisan
Member

01-11-2002

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 4:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jedisan a private message Print Post    
Thanks all - I am a notorious thread killer, so I am grateful, and surprised by all of your immediate, and thoughtful responses.
Wargod, LOL at your hubby, I can relate - I honestly did not equate my niece with being a HS grad THIS year - it seems yesterday she learned to drive! I agree that my DH is awesome to go in my stead. I would never say a word if he went and declared that he had to 'take care of the dog' in order to make a hasty retreat.
Karen, DH and I were waxing about our own grad parties, and both concluded we did not give a hooty who attended - only looking forward to escaping to be with our friends.
Kar, your suggestion makes the ultimate sense to me. I will request some one-on-one time with niece. Do kids still like to bowl? LOL. I have no children, and have found it hard to relate to this particular teenager at times. She has said things that have left me literally, speechless.
ETA: If you knew me, you would understand why this is serious business here!
Bottom line, my niece is a smart, caring and compassionate person. I only hope that while I wasn't looking, she has learned to accept disappointment.
I believe I have made my decision. Thank you all so very much.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 - 5:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
LOL, my hubby is pretty much like that with everything to do with his nieces and nephew. The second oldest niece had a baby last year and when he told me all he said was It's a boy. I got the blank stare when I asked the usual questions, is he healthy, how big, name, hair? and had to call my mil for details. It's kind of shocking to me because we are both so close to my nieces and nephews (though they are much younger than his and all live here in town) and I couldn't imagine not knowing whats going on with them in even their day to day lives.

Your niece may really enjoy the one on one time more. She's a young lady now and that's a whole different type of relationship. LOL, of course I'm still reeling from the fact that my oldest nephew who's diapers I used to change and who I could cradle in one arm had a conversation with me over the weekend about how he hasn't really enjoyed the transition to jr high this year because unlike elementary school where he could skate by doing little homework and studying and now they actually expect him to work hard for his grades. I can't figure out how the heck this screaming baby turned into such a bright kid!

Ginger1218
Member

08-31-2001

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 4:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ginger1218 a private message Print Post    
Okay, I need help. My friend Donna is an Interfaith Minister. She performs weddings and other ceremonies. She would like to set up a website. Does anyone on TVCH do that. How much do they charge and what are the steps?

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 9:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karen a private message Print Post    
That's a pretty broad question, Ginger. I recently left my job at a company that did web development and multi-media. We charged $150/hr, and bringing a website from the very beginning to completion could be anywhere from $20 - $80k.

On the other hand, depending on your friend's computer proficiency, she can pick up a copy of Macromedia DreamWeaver, which is a WYSIWYG program that anyone can use to create a website without knowing HTML coding, and without having to hire a company to do it.

Depends on how elaborate she wants the website to be. How many pages, links, photos? Any flash or video content? Who writes the copy for the page, etc.? She'll need to check with her ISP about an FTP to host the images, if she wants more than just text on the pages.

Her first step might be to check around with some of her friends, or people in the congregation, maybe see if she can find some freelancers to get her a quote, based on what kind of site she's looking for?

As for process, at the job I just left, first, we'd develop "comps", visual mock-ups of what the homepage and subsequent 2nd, 3rd level pages would look like. Client would review them and submit any changes (such as fonts, colours, layout, bg images, etc.). We'd make the changes and submit again to client for approval. We'd then begin programming and laying out the copy, and submit the shell for edits. Usually two rounds of edits on the built site (no option to request changes on the 'look-and-feel' from here, that's what comps were for.) After approval, the client gets about a day or so with the website "live" on a dummy server, so they can test all functionality. Once OK, we'd upload to their server, and go live to the world.

Most ISP companies offer free webhosting for their clients (ie: I use Shaw for my internet, and I own the url www.karenanddonners.shaw.ca), but sometimes the URL can be limited to include said ISP in the address (as you see in mine). I'm not really sure how she goes about getting the URL she wants though. (www.InterfaithDonna.com, for example, lol)

Hope that helps!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 9:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
www.godaddy.com can give her a domain name and help her set up her site.

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 9:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Zachsmom a private message Print Post    
Ginger, I know how. There are many things involved, depending on what the client wants.

PM me and I would be more than willing to help. If it's beyond my experience, I know several people who I could refer her to.

ETA:

I will also give referrals in PM for wesites (from employers) that I have done. I will not list them here as that would be giving out too much personal information.

Ginger1218
Member

08-31-2001

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 9:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ginger1218 a private message Print Post    
Zmom I send you a PM

Landi
Member

07-29-2002

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 11:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landi a private message Print Post    
ginger, tater (one of our members here, and a real great gal) does this, and she's very reasonable. her website is http://www.odysseyphotorestoration.com/

Ginger1218
Member

08-31-2001

Monday, June 11, 2007 - 12:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ginger1218 a private message Print Post    
Thank you

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, June 12, 2007 - 2:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
For months we have been receiving a letter from a company offering us mortgage insurance. Usually I would just toss this stuff without further thought. The reason this one bothers me is that is addressed to someone whose name is my maiden name as the first name and married name as last. it says it's for a home loan taken out in January. We didn't take out a mortgage in January. I can't seem to find much info about the mortgage holder or this insurance company.
We are just concerned if somehow there is identity theft going on.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Tuesday, June 12, 2007 - 3:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
It's possible that the database this company purchased had your name fields mixed up. You can sign up with Equifax to see what your credit rating is like, and to monitor any activity on your account.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 5:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
but wouldn't the database company have the correct address for the people who did get the loan?
i will try equifax.

Serate
Member

08-21-2001

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 6:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Serate a private message Print Post    
Before we left Kentucky there was a phone call to our number for Eddie Ourlastname. I kinda laughed and told the guy I'm sorry but Eddie is a cat. He stopped me from hanging up and wanted to tell me some other facts, told me not to say yes or no as he didn't want the information. It had my husband's exact birthdate, reported yearly wages [his VA disability is non-taxable, non-reported], mother's maiden name, and social security number was off by 1 number. We check his credit report quite often now, esp since the VA "lost" veterans information last year.

Kitt
Member

09-06-2000

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 8:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kitt a private message Print Post    
Serate, was it actually someone to start a credit card or something using your address? Did they find out what was going on?

Costacat, we quite often get automated messages left on our phone talking about the loan "we spoke to you about some time ago" or a phrase like that, so it's definitely a lie used as a marketing ploy. But as they have a name that's suspicious you should definitely check and see if there's been activity on your credit report. I think you can do it for free once a year at least.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Friday, June 15, 2007 - 2:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
the terrible thing is often that information is because your bank sells customers lists to businesses.

I discovered some small print last time I did any paperwork with my bank (Canada) and made sure i was given complete privacy and would not have my information "shared" with Affiliates.

It sure has cut down on all of those irritating phone calls I used to get.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Friday, June 15, 2007 - 2:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
Oh I cant be bothered editing tonight....Texasannie, I ahve a suspicion It might be thru your bank because of the maiden name.

I know that is one of the questions I had been asked and it registered at the branch.

Just trying to help

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Friday, June 15, 2007 - 5:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
i checked my credit report and there aren't even any recent inquiries. there is certainly no mortgage or loan that was taken out in January on it.
i use all three of my names on all my legal documents; Annie Porter Smith (not my real name), but my maiden name could be a first name. This letter was addressed to Porter Smith.

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-22-2004

Friday, June 15, 2007 - 6:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Graceunderfyre a private message Print Post    
Then it's possible they are just dopes that messed up your names. My maiden name can also be my first name - but it's Indian, so unless you are Indian they don't realize it. I'm not sure how they get these names - but they do. My dog was offered a preapproved loan not too long ago. I think if you check your credit report, you are safe. We've had stuff show up on ours including a bank account with my entire name (not maiden, but my Indian middle name which I hardly EVER spell out entirely) and driver's license number on the checks.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Monday, July 02, 2007 - 7:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
A "friend" who revels in drama and can't STOP talking badly about my sister (to others, I've never heard her say anything bad) e mailed me and asked why I don't return her e mails. Sigh, I just don't want to be involved in any drama or be a party to anyone who treats my family badly. Also, I feel as though it's betrayal toward my sister, but I am good friends with her sister...

SO instead of getting all in a dither about it with her, I just kinda bowed out gracefully and opted not to get "sucked" in by not really conversing with her much if any.

What would you guys do?

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Monday, July 02, 2007 - 7:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I think I'd do the same Escapee. I'd email her here and there and talk about non gossip stuff. Then she'd probably get bored by not getting good gossip from you and stop emailing so much.