Author |
Message |
Supergranny
Member
02-03-2005
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 7:17 pm
<el> Twiggish you are right about the kids should not feel like charity work, but they should feel like they are very special because they were chosen to be part of the family. Any of my friends that have been adopted feel very proud of their parents picking them.
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 7:44 pm
Look at it this way, you are learning a new language while shopping and there for making your self more marketable...in the job market...
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Urgrace
Member
08-19-2000
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 7:51 pm
Sadly no one remembers the Alamo.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 8:30 pm
My relationship with mom when I was growing up was so toxic that I used to fantasize that I was adopted... major wishful thinking on my part... I look exactly like my dad.
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 8:41 pm
My relationship with my Dad was toxic.."very", and I look just like him....But for some reason I understand why he was the way he was, what I dont understand is why my Mom is always in the background (in my memories)never doing anything.. Mames, the questions will always be there and I fear the answers will never come... I think your beautiful..by the way.
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 8:43 pm
my next gripe is that Im PMS'ing and ive just ate about 12 fruitie tootsie rolls while sitting here on my butt...and I fear that I may not stop there... Im outa control...
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 8:56 pm
Chewy, I've done non-stop eating since I quit smoking 3.5 weeks ago. I've gained so much weight I can barely wear my clothes. My bra is so tight I have to get hubby to fasten it for me when we go out(that's the only time I wear it). Its gonna stop real soon.
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Sunday, April 01, 2007 - 10:06 pm
I hate bra's, I think men invented them...(another gripe!! lol). Thats funny Twinkie.. "Good luck with the smoking thing"...
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Prisonerno6
Member
08-31-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 2:08 am
At a diversity in-service we had several months ago, a colleague said her children are losing their heritage because they refuse to speak Spanish. The disdain shown here towards Spanish speakers (I live near Hazleton, PA) has them afraid of being labelled "illegals" if they speak the language their parents and grandparents and ancestors grew up speaking.
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 3:55 am
Oops! Above I meant to say 5.5 weeks. Prisoner, I don't see why they can't still speak Spanish and also speak English. Nobody is asking them to stop speaking Spanish. Just learn English if you are going to live here. I expect if I moved to France I'd learn French to get along better in the country.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 4:29 am
Supergranny, if it's special to be adopted why is it germaine to the headline 'adopted child killed parent' or 'Mary Smith's adopted child made valedictorian'? I didn't pick my kids like pound puppies, if anything I am the lucky one because their birthmothers picked us. As to the language, we have sections of Houston where all the street signs are in Vietnamese.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 7:44 am
I live close to Canada on the west coast of the United States. A lot of the products I buy are in English and French. Signage is pretty much all in English. I live in a very undiverse pocket of all Caucasian descendants.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 9:37 am
I think the person who invented shouting for firsts should be forced to spend all day, everyday, with a bunch of kids under ten who will shout "shotgun" and "I'm first!!!!!!" before they do anything at all! I adore my nephews and love that they have been here during spring break. I pretty much ignore the fact that one of their favorite words is kittie minus the k and plus a t, other than insisting that's not an appropriate word in my house and I don't want to hear it (plus a strong reminder to my kids that just because their cousins can say it isn't an invitation for them to!) The first week they were here when we had to go pick up the kids, I kinda laughed everytime one of them would shout "shotgun" ten minutes before we left...shout it all you want unless I'm driving five kids, no one sits in the front seat. But it's really starting to grate on my nerves, no matter what they are doing one of them is screaming "I'm first" over everything and usually several minutes before they start whatever it is they are doing. Board games, video games, who gets the first cup of juice or plate of lunch...argh!! I guess because my kidlets are weird and don't do this, they know neither one of them is sitting in the front seat of the car unless there is no choice and then it's going to be Caleb because he is the oldest and biggest. They know they'll get to play the game or get their food or drink no matter rather they are the first or the last one there, it's only the difference of a few seconds. LOL, today for some reason this is really, really irritating me!
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Supergranny
Member
02-03-2005
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 9:39 am
Texannie I am sorry if I upset you. Obviously our experiences with adoption have been different. I just haven't noticed the headlines like you quoted that emphasize being adopted. Now you will have me paying attention.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 10:26 am
Supergranny, it sort of reminds me of what I notice only because my daughter married a Filapino...the use of the word 'Orential' instead of the preferred 'Asian'. If not for my Asian SIL and grandchildren, I'd probably never notice.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 10:30 am
There is nowhere (that I know of) where the parents pick the children in adoption. Though it does seem that Madonna and Angelina were allowed to chose, but again, I do not know that for sure. But for "regular" adoptive parents, no way do they have much say at all. I mean, you can choose the country and if you adopt domestically, you can have some say in the race. You can sometimes choose a sex internationally and sometimes (though rarely) domestically too. Internationally, the agency matches the child with the adoptive family. Domestically, the birthmother chooses an adoptive family. But in no way is it like going to an animal shelter and picking out the child you want. In fact, domestically it is like the birthmother goes to the shelter/pound and chooses a family from pictures and letters...
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 10:49 am
Yep, adoptive famililes are the new pound puppies! LOL Supergranny, no problem. I think adoption is a wonderful thing. We constantly tell our children how special they are and what a blessing they are to our lives. We talk about how lucky WE are to have been given the gift of parenting them. I just don't understand the need to point that a child is adopted unless it's an adoption related conversation. I would never in a millions years say something like, "This is my adopted son, Joe". I would say "This is my son, Joe." Take Marie Osmond for example. If her adopted children need to be singled out because they are special, how does that make the bio kids feel? Also by pointing out there are bio kids and adopted kids, it is implying that the children have different status in the family. Now don't get me started on the terms 'natural' and 'real' when referring to the birthparents! LOL just suffice it to say, i am neither unnatural or pretend.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 10:53 am
(Oh Annie, I am getting more unnerved. And we are still miles away....)
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 11:11 am
unnerved???
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Supergranny
Member
02-03-2005
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 11:26 am
I should explain that I believe we are all related, and in fact DNA is proving that we are!! My mother's older brother was from my grandfather's first family. He and his wife were always my beloved aunt and uncle, never my half uncle. When they had two boys they were my cousins and then thru tragic circumstances my aunt and uncle were left raising their two grandchildren. Somehow in my mind I became their auntie and my children were their cousins. I alway introduced them as my children's cousins. Years later when my aunt was dying I flew to LA to be with her and then she told me how much she loved me and she loved me even more when I would speak of the cousins. Never trying to explain the relationship. I was surprised because I didn't think it was important but to her it was. Long story but I am understanding that this is sort of the same thing isn't it?
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 11:48 am
Yes, and like you said, you make no distinction between your family members. My rant is why does the media feel the need to?!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 12:26 pm
Unnerved, because of what we may end up facing after we adopt...
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 12:27 pm
What are the rights of adoptive parents? I have seen so many "Movies" where the natural parent comes back and takes the baby. How is that possible and is that something you might end up facing? ETA: My first cousin's daughter is my neice and my children are my cousin neices.
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 12:36 pm
each state has different laws as do the various countries where people adopt from.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 02, 2007 - 1:51 pm
If the adoption is handled through a reputable agency, there is (usually) no problems. I know all you hear of is the horror stories. But the reality is there are many, many adoptions that are done with no problems at all. The first step is making sure that the birthmother is counselled and is sure that adoption is the right thing for her. If the birthmother is sure and feels good (or as good as she can in this hard situation) then there are usually no problems. If the birthfather is located and also counselled, that helps also. Problems can occur if the birthfather is not notified that he is a dad until the baby is already born/adopted. That is why it is important that the birthfather sign off too. The "scary" time for the adoptive parents is the 24-72 hours after the baby is born (the time varies from state to state) before the mom signs the papers. After that, she cannot change her mind. Of course, if she does, many adoptive parents will not want to deny her the baby anyways. I know I would not. It would be sad for sure...
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