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Archive through July 26, 2007

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Apr. 2007 ~ Jun. 2007: Free Expressions (ARCHIVES): Advice Please... (ARCHIVES): Archive through July 26, 2007 users admin

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Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 7:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
I think I would just let it go. Stay out of his yard, and be sure the kids do, as well....I'm sure that will make everything better for you in the end.

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 7:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
I don't know Scooterrific. I might agree if it was just Escapee's mom but because he yelled at her children? As a parent I would feel obliged to let my kids know I would defend them against false accusations.

Vee
Member

02-23-2004

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 7:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vee a private message Print Post    
Escapee, I live in a small neighborhood without fences, but I do not allow the neighborhood children to play on my lawn. If I did, I wouldn't have a lawn or a flower left...it's that small. Perhaps, it would be best to honor his request. Just offering a different perspective. This does not excuse your neighbor's tirade; he didn't need to be so unkind about his request. Just a simple request would have been so much easier for your mom and you to handle.

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 7:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
I don't see that he yelled, Rissa...I see that he snapped...and not at the girls, at Escapee's mom...he pointed to the kids. As a parent, I would teach my child that some people have bad days, and that is why we respect others' property..so that we can't be blamed for something we didn't do.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 7:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I would let it go. Don't waste your time or energy. Don't even get your feathers ruffled. Just make sure your kids don't go in his yard at all and let that be that....

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
Oh you guys are much kinder than I. LOL I am a total doormat and tend not to stand up for myself, so stuff like this just eats me alive.. I should have, I could have.... I would want some acknowledgment that he concedes he has no idea who did the damage and shouldn't have lashed out at the first kids to cross his path.

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
Rissa, I tend to pick the battles that are worth fighting. This one, IMHO, is not one of them :-)

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
But that's the thing, I honored his request before he requested it. I don't let my kids play in his yard or anyone elses, but I don't mind if the neighborhood kids run amok in my yard. They are just kids. The thing is he can't prove it was my kids any more than he can prove it was anyone elses. Why single out my kids? They are just little.

Either way, I don't think it was my kids because like I said, they don't play out front by themselves, AND when the damage was done, we were not around. I told DH about it, and he is a pretty level headed guy. He said he would probably go talk to him and ask him what the problem is.

His wife is very sweet. She has not been home and I suspect that his tirade would not have been if she had been there. She's one of those "Oh Jim, it's no big deal" type people. Before I thought he was nice, but now I see he is just a gruff old man. DH was over last week helping him with his pickup, and he never said a word about the kids being in his yard.

I want to suggest he go talk to the other parents the same way he talk to my mom.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
So I guess this one incident has totally changed your opinion of him. I was just curious because you had such a favorable opinion of them before.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
His wife is wonderful. Honestly I haven't had too much interaction with him, he always seemed kind of quiet. AND I wouldn't have believed my mom if my sister hadn't backed it up. Yes, he could have been having a bad day. But his remarks were very gruff and very rude, especially in front of the kids, especially to someone who is only there a couple of hours a day.

Has my opinion changed? Yeah, it kind of has. Everyone knows that having little ones is like corraling cats. But he was accusing with no proof.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
As JujuSmartDog always says "don't engage the crazy person". His behavior was irrational, and it's not highly likely that he will acknowledge you are right and he was wrong.

I think it is best to have your DH go over and in a friendly way let him know that you have never allowed your children to play in his yard, and you will continue to honor that, and that you're both very sorry that *someone* broke something that he valued.

That's likely the only approach that might have a positive outcome.

Neighbor issues are tough. I'm glad I live in a neighborhood where we all watch out for each other and over each other's kids.

I used to live next to a 'gruff old man' who was meticulous about his lawn. The kids were terrified of him. Then one day I had the opportunity to visit and it turned out he and his wife had immigrated from Germany just like my parents had. From that day on, I was deluged with German homemade goodies.

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Ask the crabby old man's wife much that piece of lawn crap cost and offer to pay for a replacement. She probably isn't even aware that he came over and yelled at your mother. Then tell her that you had no idea he hated your children. Go ahead, lay some big guilt on her...squeeze a few tears out if you can. If she feels really badly, she'll take it out on the old fart husband.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I think that you want to be nice and neighborly and at the same time do what is best for you. Fortunately, those things don't necessarily contradict each other.

It sounds like he was a bit upset and unreasonable at the time, but it's not like you have a cursing, swearing enormous lout that you have to deal with. Plus his wife sounds very nice, but don't be surprised if she takes his side.

Anyway, I guess the question is if it is worth making an enemy over this? Why not just tell him that although you are confident that your little girls didn't damage his property, you will be careful to keep them out of his yard.

If you approach it this way you might be surprised by his reaction. He might be very apologetic about it (not guaranteeing that though). I'm not sure that much good for you can come out of being angry with him.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
LOL - Gosh he's just an old guy who was having a bad moment about some personal property that he probably has had for many years and felt bad that it was broken. It doesn't matter if it cost fifty cents - it meant something to him. It's not like he attacked someone with his rake!

If the behavior was persistent and ongoing it might be worth confronting. Otherwise ....

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
How about having the children take over an ugly lawn gnome as a replacement? Find something really ugly.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:45 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
LOL - You're just mean, Hukd!

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 8:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Here's my favorite tee shirt:



Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 9:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
If he is normally really nice, maybe his health has changed and it is affecting his personality. I would let it go and maybe talk to the wife if you get the chance without going out of your way, say like, you are out in the yard at the same time she comes home. Tell her your feelings were hurt because of the jumping to conclusions.
As long as he doesn't yell at your kids, I wouldn't be too upset.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 9:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Maybe he misses his wife? Some couples balance each other out very nicely.

One incident can be very distressing and I know how protective one can be when their kids are involved but I think it is good to look for a pattern. If the pattern all along has been he's a pretty okay guy with a nice wife who balances him out, then it might not be worth changing that and making a real enemy?

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 9:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
Maybe he misses his wife?

ROTFLMAO!!

Not in my household :-)

Kstme
Member

08-14-2000

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 11:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kstme a private message Print Post    
Huk, LOVE the shirt. My daughter has it, along with a bunch of others with similar sayings!

Escapee, in my opinion, if you or your dh are going to deal with the neighbor, it would be better to do it sooner than later. I lived in a cul de sac for over 13 years and found that sometimes, it IS just a bad day. Good luck!

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 7:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
NEW ? EBAY RELATED:

I won a bid for 2 toys. The seller sent a package with 1 correct item and 1 wrong item. (Of course, out of the two, the one we actually wanted was the one not sent!)

The seller seemed very confused and disorganized. But she did have great communication. Answered every email within a few hours and really did try to accommodate us and tried to find a replacement toy.

We came to an agreement that she'd refund our $$ and I'd "return to sender" her stuff back.

She already left positive feedback for us.

My question: Do I also leave her positive feedback?

After all, we were not very satisfied. It was very frustrating, especially cuz Ryan earned the toy and he was so patient and anxious, checking the mail every day and so disappointed.

On the other hand, we are not getting ripped off and the seller did try.

(though for a seller who does this a lot, I was surprised that she asked me for the auction number no less than THREE TIMES and even though I signed each of my emails to her with "Julie," she started hers off with my dh's name.)

Any input would be appreciated!

Rissa
Member

03-20-2006

Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 7:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rissa a private message Print Post    
I am not familiar with the EBAY feedback system so don't know how helpfull I can be. I would suggest you say the same as you left here... that there was a problem with the order but that the seller dealt with it with integrity and expediency. That the problem was apparently one of communication and the seller was very willing to work it out and that you would not hesitate to deal with this person again in spite of the less than successfull transaction this time.

ETA Your last part is concerning but that's harder to judge from an outside perspective. Does her honesty outweigh her *dottiness*?

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 7:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Unless someone is deliberately mean and unhelpful and tries to cheat you, I would NEVER leave negative feedback. It can have a big negative impact on them and it's unfair.

If you are concerned about leaving positive feedback then don't leave any at all.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 7:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
I don't really need advise about it but just wanted you all to know that I yelled at my neighbor. Well, to be honest, I didn't really yell but in a very well heard voice, told him that his revving up the engine he was working on was very annoying to all his neighbors and that we were looking into city ordinances about noise pollution. Also, we are trying to find out if he can be running his business out of his garage. He told me that he wasn't breaking any laws and then he says that he never said anything to me a couple of years ago when something out of his car went missing. I told him that was a good thing because nobody from my house would steal and I reminded him that his brother was the only person in the neighborhood to be convicted of stealing(he stole from us.) It was starting to get a little ugly and we both were trying to find a solution. It's hard because I cannot stand the man. His only two kids that I know of, left home as soon as they turned 18 and never came back. The man is a fake. I caught him in a lie and told him I thought he was lying and that he could at least admit that maybe he wasn't remembering right. lol, he admitted that he might have said what I told him people heard him say about my niece. I told him that if he ever had a problem with my household, then he should talk to me about it. He then said that he was going to talk to my husband. I probably should have warned him against that but that would be too nice of me.
So, that's how I spent my evening last night. (wasn't about to tell him that I was pmsing)