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Archive through April 07, 2007

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Apr. 2007 ~ Jun. 2007: Free Expressions (ARCHIVES): The return of The Return of the Gripe Thread (ARCHIVES): Archive through April 07, 2007 users admin

Author Message
Loyolamom
Member

05-10-2005

Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 11:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Loyolamom a private message Print Post    
Chewpito, I totally feel your pain. Some years ago my best friend, who lives in another town, was pregnant. Around her due date she called me and as soon as I heard her voice I said "Oh, it's a baby! Is it a boy or a girl?!" and was really exicted. To my utter horror she had to tell me she had a son but he died moments before his birth. I was speechless. I felt horrible that I had made an incredibly difficult conversation even more difficult for her. I immediately apoligized but felt that it wasn't enough. About a year later we were able to talk about it (that phone call) and I was able to apologize again and for myself, I felt a little better. You're right though, we do say hurtful things sometimes that are totally unintentional. I'm glad you and your friend were able to talk about things at a later time. You can't let it get you down because it wasn't intentional and I would bet she knew that.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 3:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Chew, Loyola..do not beat yourselves up! What you said is NOTHING like the comments I am talking about. When someone asks with true concern, that is completely different. I am talking about people who feel they have the right to the details or in the case of some of the doozies I have had, out of ignorance.
Loyola, your friend called you. You were anticipating hearing about the baby, you had no reason in the world to suspect something had happened. It would have been incredibly odd for you not to ask. It was perfectly natural for you to ask the question you did.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 6:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Chewpito, I have a different perspective on this. I think that you asked because some part of yourself sensed that you needed to ask; and that she needed to talk. Especially if that kind of question is out of the ordinary for you. Sometimes we just have a knowing that we need to say something that takes over at the moment we need to say it. It's nothing to feel bad about at all, it just shows how much you cared about this woman in spite of the time that had passed.

Lateeda
Member

12-01-2006

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 7:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lateeda a private message Print Post    
And on the flip side of that 'stupid question coin', I was asked while at the grocery store if "all of those kids" were mine. (I had all 4 w/me that day) I replied, "Yep, I confess, they're all mine." (Trying to be light and jokey, as the tone of the question seemed rather accusatory to me). Then the total stranger offered me her wisdom, "I hope you're done, this world is already over-populated."
I've also been asked how I afford all of them; I've been asked bluntly how much money my husband makes to feed all of us; if we were "trying" to have that many (to which I *love* to say, "Nope, I just rolled over in a wet dream!" That one shuts them up!)

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 8:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
Isn't it amazing what people think they are entitled to know?!

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 10:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Karuna, partly you are right, I think in some way I was trying to move the subject from the sorrow of her fathers death.... "talking in supermarkets is just never a good idea-unless its about whats for dinner"..lol....

On another note, I was shopping yesterday and the store was so crowded.. A mother and son were blocking the isle...(by the way, Im a happy shopper)..so I playfully said...Beep Beep, and the young boy jumped with excitment and quickly contorted his whole body to give my room.... I quickly laughed at his ability to bend so well and said..."goodness you are very plyable"... He started cracking up and only then did I relize that he was a bit Delayed.. His Mom quikly broke in and said he was just giddy because it was his 13th birthday.... He was the most adorable happy guy, I quickly wished him a Happy b-day and mentioned that now he was a teenager... He came over and gave me a hug... alls I can say is that that hug was the sweetest thing that happened to me all day... and he just left a happy feeling in my heart, Him and His Mom... I could tell she had her hands full but she was perfect for this job.....

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 10:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
actually, that should have been put in a HAPPY thread, cause it def was not a gripe..it made my day..

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 11:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Teachmichigan a private message Print Post    
Agree w/all of the above - -friends who care asking questions are NOT the things that annoy. People who have no business asking...they deserve the snappy comebacks.

My gripe -- it is the next to last day of Spring Break, and the weather for the past 48 hours has been SNOW and 32 degrees with 40-50 mph winds!! GRRRR!!! Supposed to stay this way until after Easter! Double-GGRRRRRR!

As for the snoring -- my DH has horrible polyps (they've come back after major surgery), so when his shots are wearing off, I just pack him off to the guest room. He knows lack of sleep on my part is NOT a pleasant thing on his part, so he obliges. :-)

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 5:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
my son is mixed and when he was a baby people would say 'he is so cute, is he yours?' one day I answered 'he better be, I paid enough for him' I still remember the look on the lady's face! LOL

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 5:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
LOL I was just thinking maybe he had nothing to do with him being mixed but they asked cuz he was cute! meaning I wasnt LOL

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 5:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Pamy, you are nothing if not cute!

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 5:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
Why do people have to be so nosey? It's none of their business.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 5:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
thx Hermie, I think you are a cutie too!

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 5:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
LOL Pamy, he gets his cuteness from you! My sis and I are total opposites in looks (except in height) and when we were growing up nosey, rude folks would play the who do you belong to game. They'd take one look at me and my mom and know for sure I was her daughter while my sister must surely belong to step dad. It wasn't so much them thinking we didn't look anything alike so couldn't be full siblings but more that since step dad had raised us and been the only father we knew, it was a slap in the face to him.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 6:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Thanks a lot Pamy. You had to put that in my head. Now (if and when) we ever get our baby (which will be adopted) I will always be tempted to say that. And it will be true!!! (Cuz adoption is freaking expensive!)

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 7:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
You're reminding me of some neighbors we had years back. Father was AA, Mom was white. Child took after Dad 100%. Couple divorced, Mom/child stayed next door, Dad moved out. One day, child was having a typical toddler type temper tantrum, and was screaming and banging his head on the wall. Another neighbor called the cops, saying the child was getting beat within an inch of his life. Cops came, and not only asked if the child was hers, but demanded she produce documentation to prove it!

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Friday, April 06, 2007 - 5:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Teachmichigan a private message Print Post    
When oh when will "Help the Stupid Classes" begin to smarten up these people???

Cheri4angels
Member

11-15-2006

Friday, April 06, 2007 - 9:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cheri4angels a private message Print Post    
Wouldn't help, they probably can't read either.

OOOoooOOOH! I hope I don't get modded!

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 6:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
What's truly amazing to me in regards to questions about the 'real' mother, is that alot of them came from people who I know really well AND who are usually not clueless. I truly believe that part of it is still the idea that adoption doesn't make a 'real' family. It gets back to my original gripe....why do we still feel the need to distinguish between bio and adopted children?

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 12:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
I the adopted kids are real, why shouldn't the family be real.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 1:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
I grew up with a sister and a brother. My brother 2 years older and my sister 4 years younger.

They were both as real to me as my parents were to me. It always felt odd when people said Naomi wasn't my real sister. I wonder how it made Naomi feel to always hear "she wasn't my real sister."

People always had to say..."she's not real, she was adopted".

I bet that really hurt her little girl feelings as she was growing up.

Naomi joined my family when she was 2. I was 6 and my brother was 8. She is full-blooded Korean.

To this day I'm still baffled by people who see family photos and say...she's not your real sister.

She is my real sister, sure as if she'ld been born into my family, as far as I'm concerned. Real sister, real family.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 1:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
"Is she your "real" sister?"

"No, she's a fake sister. Fake, fake, fake!"

People never fail to amaze me. And you'd have think I'd have heard it all by now. Yikes!

(And that was all me meaning to be silly!)

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 2:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Funny, I remember responding that way to some people. "no, she's my fake sister."

Later, when we would go to bars/clubs together, we always told people who asked that we were twins.

People still ask and it does amaze me. She is my real sister. Blood doesn't make family...love does.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 2:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
I say that too..'nope, i am their fake mom' or
'nope, i am not their real mother, i am just raising, feeding, educating, and loving them'

but Julie, don't let this scare you. i rarely get comments like that anymore. but it is funny to look back on how clueless some people are.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Saturday, April 07, 2007 - 3:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
People are seriously clueless. Sometimes it's amazing that they can actually maintain the gene pool. I couldn't believe how clueless people were when I was dating my summer beau, who is blind. People would try to walk right between Vic, his guide dog (on a harness, no less), or me. Or people would talk to me, rather than him. Or one time, an idiot barrista at Starbucks told us we had to leave because of the dog. Um, I was standing there reading the menu to Vic. When he paid, he asked if the $10 bill was on the bottom. He was obviously not seeing, and Pearson was obviously a guide dog. My response? May I please speak to your manager? (The manager was duly embarrassed when I explained that he needed to train his staff better on how to deal with disabled persons.)

People. Sheesh.