Author |
Message |
Monkey
Member
09-10-2006
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 2:42 am
Great post Baby! You are so right in everything you said.
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 7:18 am
thanks for the book idea, Glenn. i will definitely check it out myself and then see if i can get dh to read it. he's a real sweetie. i understand what you are saying, Whoami, about folks abandoning you. it has always amazed me how someone can be your friend one minute and stop the next for no apparent reason. i've seen it happen to others, so it isn't you. i'd love to meet you and look forward to meeting as many of my TVCH family as i can eventually. i am so glad that there isn't as much condemnation of folks today that are taking medication for depression as there was even 10 or 15 years ago. i know there is still some of it out there, but it is more acceptable to need help today. so many people used to avoid going to the doctor for their depression for fear of being shunned by even their closest of family. now, i know so many people getting the help they need and they are living much happier lives.
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Heyltslori
Moderator
09-15-2001
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 7:47 am
Rosie...you said:
quote:He is a sweetheart disguised as a mod.
Are you saying that mods aren't usually sweethearts???? 
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Scooterrific
Member
07-08-2005
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 7:55 am
Rotflmao Rosie, open mouth insert foot 
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 7:56 am
Damn. There's too much to read here and I'm trying to tape a show off the radio and my sports show comes on at 8am, ugh. Glenn, I wrote you something and actually censored myself yesterday, and cancelled it. You hurt my feelings one day, in one thread. Remember when I wrote that I was gone from this site for a month and nobody sent me an email to see if I was ok, nobody seemed to care. It was like I hadn't made a real friend out of any of you electronic screen names out there. That depressed me. Depression and loneliness can be connected. Anyway YOU laughed at me, and said that sort of thing would never happen to you, you wouldn't care if anyone even responds to what you post HERE, and so forth. Sniff... I've tried to read the Tannen book before. It read like Mars vs. Venus to me. In a nutshell it seems to me that women have to say everything that's on their minds. Men don't. But we have to listen to everything?? I wonder if it's available as a book on tape? Never heard of that Loner's Manifesto book, Chewpito. But I don't want to be a loner, a better loner. I'd rather find true love, you know, that romantic fairy tale...
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Marysafan
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 8:20 am
Newman, when you wrote that you were gone from this board and were sad that no one wrote to check on you...my first thought was...to wonder how often you showed care and concern for someone on this board. The old what goes around comes around deal. I have sister. We are very much different. Some would say total opposites in many ways. I had lots of friends and aquaintances and my sister had only one or maybe two, even though my sister is kinder, gentler, and far more beautiful. The difference was that she never reached out to anyone, while I would reach out to practically everyone. She would come in from outside and mope because no one would talk to her...but the other side of that was that she wouldn't talk to anyone either. I learned that lesson early when I came into the house once moping because I was the new kid and no one would talk to me. My mother said, "Well, did you talk to anyone?" So I got involved, while she continued to sit on the sidelines waiting for someone to make the effort to get involved with her. She spent a great deal of her life being lonely because she was always waiting for someone to befriend her instead of making the effort to befriend others. If you want friends, then it's a good idea to be friendly first. It's one of those cart/horse deals. Yeah I know it takes effort. "Work" Everything worth having does. Just sayin.
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Heyltslori
Moderator
09-15-2001
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 8:36 am
Newman, I remember that exchange between you and Glenn. Here is what he actually said:
quote:Glenn: I have some friends Newman but I find no need in trying to put a number on it. I have gone for long periods without posting on this message board and not having someone email me and be all concerned has never been an issue for me. LOL, I don't even care if someone agrees with me. I am content if I get someone to consider my perspective for a moment.
To me, that sure doesn't sound like he's laughing at you. It sounds like he is saying that he just doesn't need a lot of positive reinforcement. Perhaps he posts for himself...and if, by chance, his posts affect someone in a positive way...well that's a bonus!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 8:48 am
I think that's a pretty big leading comment Mary. I'm sure there are people who thought about writing Newman but didn't do it for various reasons.
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Mamapors
Member
07-29-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 8:58 am
I thought about Newman many times during that month and a half. I never emailed him. Next time I am wondering and worrying about someone I am going to email them. I often wonder what is crossing the line regarding online interactions. My only experience is with TVCH. How many come here because they much prefer this kind of interaction? I often fear they don't want to be bothered. But next time I will take that chance.
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Marysafan
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:07 am
Jimmer, maybe so...but it's something to think about. I used to get bummed out if my folder disappeared because no one posted in it...then I asked myself...how many folders did I post in? Not many and not very often. So I started posting in people's folders from time to time...and my folder hasn't disappeared since! I'm just throwing it out there for some consideration for anyone. It's a life lesson that I learned long ago, by being the new kid and moving a lot. If you want to make new friends, then be friendly.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:25 am
i've always gone on the theory "if you want friends, go out and make them" they aren't coming to you! so if you want friends, send an email, make a personal conversation, make a connection!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:26 am
I think that is a fair point you are making Mary. Some Members tend to like to engage in personal exchanges (as in "Hey how are you?") and other Members prefer to interact in a more general way on the board. Mamapors comment is interesting as well. There are some people who have disappeared off the board and then been offended when people have contacted them to see how they were doing. Some people may worry that they are being intrusive if they email someone who wants to take a break. Mocha, I was planning to email Newman eventually, but I thought that I'd give him some time to take a break from the board if he wanted to. Now I feel bad that I didn't email him, especially since it obviously would have meant something to him. There are a lot of people who say they are leaving and end up just taking a break and coming back you know.
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:30 am
Defending myself..<57> I've had correspondence with many TVCHers from Jimmer to Mocha. From my writing I obviously CARE about people and the world. Do I care about every single poster and every single post? No. I am not Mother Theresa. I'm not looking to be rescued. I'm not looking for advice. I've put a lot of energy into this site. I started the Baby Boomer thread for example. I start a lot of topical conversation in Grey's Anatomy. I write in the News & Views section too and in other TV show threads. I've never read anyone else say they were leaving this site, like I did. If Lance had said that or even my sparring partner Glenn or others, I'd like to think I would have emailed them to see how they were doing. Maybe I would have commiserated with them over whatever the apparent cause of the exit was. Or maybe I would have tried to talk them out of it. I think I do plenty of reaching out, plenty of giving of myself, putting out of energy and thought, starting discussions, sharing points of view, being open, taking risks. Just sayin back atcha...
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:30 am
Exactly.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:33 am
Actually I said the same thing Newman and you didn't email me begging me to come back... What's up with that?
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:34 am
Newman, There have been a lot of people who have said that they were leaving and then have come back. It's not unusual at all. One of the things about this site is that it is pretty big and unless a person looks in all the different areas, it is easy to miss things about people.
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:41 am
Selective memory. I'm amazed that people remember every single thing that I've written (or is it only the negative things?)? That comment, about not reading every post, well, it's so true, and not meant to be hurtful. There are two types of people on the internet. Ones that have jobs where they are behind the computer most of the day, office workers, or at home people, AND there are others of us who are nowhere near a computer for most of the day, like me. It is (again, in my defense, geeeeeeeeeeeze) very hard to come home after 10 hours of delivering mail, and then read everything that has been posted in this huge TVCH site, plus watch tv, make dinner, and do what I want to do, which is write! I love the writing and the feedback, the exchange of ideas, not so much the reading, lol.
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:44 am
What Jimmer said, above, Mocha. I probably didn't see it. I've never read anyone saying they were leaving for such and such reason. Like I said above, I don't sit behind the computer all day. It's hard to play catch up. I remember when Tish left News & Views for awhile. And this is a site I don't religiously follow, but I pop in from time to time. I wondered what happened to her. Was she dead? And I think I posted something about it or read someone else wondering what happened to Tish. Eventually she came back. I never did find out why she left...
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:48 am
Guess you didn't email her either? Oh and those are just excuses.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:49 am
With my job, there are days when I'm working on the computer a lot and then there are days when I am out and away from the computer. Believe me, when I check for new messages after being away for a while, the number gets pretty scary. And I'm a fast reader too!!!
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:57 am
I left for 3 years and nobody emailed me. Hmmm? I must really suck. 
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Yankee_in_ca
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 9:59 am
In reading this latest conversation, I guess my question to you, Newman, is -- did you leave just to see if people WOULD email you? I have never really even had a conversation with you, but I noticed you were gone and wondered how you were. But I figured it was YOUR personal decision to leave, and I would be respectful of that. People are often thinking of you, even if you're unaware. You just have to have faith in knowing it. Oh and ETA -- I don't think anyone is suggesting that you should be reading the whole site (I certainly don't have the time, like you) -- BUT if you don't, it's unfair to make generalizations about things either. I think that's all anyone is saying.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:03 am
I think I need to go have lunch with Whoami! 
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:04 am
Newman defending Newman. It gets tiring. Mocha, the attitude is noted. Why are you giving me flak here? I don't get it. You didn't email me when I left. I didn't email you when you threatened to leave. We are not close friends. WE don't agree a lot on a lot. That's ok. I accept that. My relationship with Tish was also one of sparring. She jabbed me on the movie thread. Can't recall now. Something about the movie Crash and Sandra Bullock. I think I was rooting for Crash and Tish was a Brokeback fan. I think she was accusing me of being shallow and not deep, like she is. I accept that. Tish is smarter than me. Deeper. That's ok. I didn't email her because she wasn't a "friend". She never emailed me in a friendly way, like you once did, Mocha, or like Chewpito, Lance, Jimmer, Mary once did, oh God I'm going to offend someone by leaving them out... Excuses? I guess I'm just not perfect...how's that for an excuse and a defense.
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Glenn
Member
07-05-2003
| Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:06 am
Newman, I understand the limited access to a computer during the day. I am in the same position. My attitude is that if I want someone to read what I have to say, I should have at least read through and made some attempt at understanding their post. I would not expect to have someone's best listening after telling them I stopped at the first paragraph of their post or that I just skimmed through it. If you didn't care, why should they? It may provide you with better feedback for your writing.
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