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Archive through June 28, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Jan. 2007 ~ Mar. 2007: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits...: ARCHIVES: Archive through June 28, 2006 users admin

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Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 9:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Mmmm..... chocolate.

My problem is that people see me, then don't like me once they get to know me. LOL.....

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 11:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
I doubt if thats true...I like you sight unseen.. and I know you got cute kiddos...so obviously someone else loves you too....

Moderator
Moderator

06-30-2002

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 7:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Moderator a private message Print Post    
Reminder: TVCH is a moderated board. If you are confused about what those rules do and do not allow, please review them.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 7:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
..Every day we change-have new experiances and learn or try to learn how to cope with aging,death-dealing with caring for our elderly or the problems we face rearing children with special needs or just making it thru a day when we are sick or emotional.. Moods change-views change-health changes...every day is not the same as the day befor and so why couldnt this thread just be about the people that post here .. I look to this thread and this board almost every day to share in others happy times and sad. I understand we all have struggles and we all have somthing to say..somtimes we can help each other and somtimes we can only listen..some of us have met and made life long friends..we may have past by every poster here on the street a million times over and never shared a glance in our busy lifes..but here we can relax,unload,uplift or secretly smirk in the privacy of our own home..thats the beauty of it....

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 7:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
I don't exactly recall what I said when I started this thread, way back when. It doesn't really matter. It has morphed into a good thread, good discussions, etc.

<ka> I don't actually want help. <ka>.

I read everything quickly, from when I left to go to work. Still no reply from Glenn.

Something Mocha posted awhile ago: if you don't enjoy dating, then don't do online dating. That's kind of where my head is at right now. I don't enjoy dating. Never have. Never did much of it.

Two things. I think I'm just in love with the desire to be in love again. That's all.

Secondly, it gets harder as we get older. More difficult. Dating gets harder. Why? The physical aspect. When we're in our twenties everyone looks good. Nature takes it's course.

The same can't be said for in your 50s, Baby Boomer age. Jimmer says all the politically correct things. He's nicer than I am. And he's married and secure.

However, the honest truth is that if [I am] not turned on by the woman (and a lot of that is physical)well, nothing will happen. It's the mechanics of sex. Arousal. Chemistry. Physical attraction. If there's no spark, no desire, no sexual wanting, well, why would [I] move forward? <ka>

Am I being clear? It's biology.

We sensitive Boomer men have this conversation amongst ourselves of course. WE know we can't expect a Playboy centerfold in a 50 year old body. And most of us have packed on the pounds as well.

So there's compromising that needs to be done. Who wants to compromise?


Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 7:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Tater, I may come across that I'm totally angst ridden with finding Ms Wonderful. I'm not. My day is mostly consumed with listening to Air America talk radio or sports talk radio.

Had to laugh at something you said, something about relaxing, having fun, and I'd find myself tripping over girls, something like that. Those days are gone.

One of my boomer buddies made an astute observation. He would point out a pretty woman walking by. Then he'd say, "we're invisible to her." So true. <ka>


Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 8:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
LOL Newman. I'll accept your comment that I am nicer than you as a compliment.

However, while I try my best to word my comments in a manner that will not unnecessarily hurt other people, I mean what I say. I don't just say it to sound
good.

I agree with what you say about the spark having to be there. You can not will yourself to make it happen. It's just a part of what makes you the person that you are. I've known some women that I logically thought I should be attracted to and there was no spark. And, there are other women that I've really found attractive but from a logical standpoint couldn't figure out why I was so attracted to them.

You see the same thing in photography. Some people have a certain spark and photograph well. It just comes through. Other people that you would think would photograph well, just don't. It's one of those mysteries.

Glenn
Member

07-05-2003

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 8:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Glenn a private message Print Post    
Newman, I have really tried. I hoped that I could give you a different perspective of things from someone who is the same age that you are. I give up ,but here is that reply.

I met this person online. I was attracted to this person by the things they said which gave me a good idea of who they were. I did not want to know what this person looked like because I had found that when I made my choice based on looks alone, it did not serve me well. I spent a lot of time “talking” to this person before I ever had any idea of what they looked like.

Yes, I would and have talked to people 40 pounds overweight because I have learned that if I used that as a filter of who I talked to or not, I would have never been able to know some of the people I care about the most. The thing is, YOU never know why a person is the weight that they are. YOU are making an assessment of why they are the weight that they are. YOU could be wrong. YOU could be missing out on meeting the person that could arouse you such that you never noticed that 40 pounds.

Newman, I get that you are not sure of what I am trying to say. We do not agree and I doubt that we ever will. The one thing that I have always been so thankful for by my being male versus female is…………women are much more forgiving than men are when it comes that appearance thing. One day you might finally find out that the mechanics of sex is not all optics, the best sex originates in the mind.

Seriously Newman, you may be the one who needs to do some digging in the archives if you want to move forward.

Abby7
Member

07-17-2002

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 8:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Abby7 a private message Print Post    
newman, if you did find Ms Wonderful and were very happy being with her, what if she gained 50 pounds?

let's say, you've been with her for five years. slowly, she begins gaining a few pounds. she is now 50 pounds overweight.

at what point would you leave her? would you have left her when she starting gaining the weight? would you leave her at the point when she was overweight in your opinion?

my guess is, as soon as you saw the extra weight coming on...you would "help" her lose it. (?)

hopefully, Ms. Wonderful, won't agree w/your opinion today.. in about 15 years...when you are no longer a "7".

just wondering because your appropriate weight, 45ish perfect woman might have a change in weight in a few years. then what?

eta: god forbid, since you are a bit older, YOU get fat and she stays in shape. but, that would NEVER happen i guess? or, let's say she doesn't like that you have more wrinkles than she does?

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 9:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
I can tell you, all it takes is some injury that prevents exercise. That injury can happen in 20 seconds. That's how long it took me to go from four steps up a stairway straight to the bottom, landing firmly as my body kept going to the left and in that 20 seconds I suddenly had no ligament holding the top and bottom of my leg together. I got bad medical advice about whether to get surgery and had a job situation that wasn't conducive to time off.. so 15 years passed before I got the surgery and rehabbed. NOW I can exercise.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
LOL,I suddenly figured out why I stay single...I work out, eat what I want-when I want ..have my own schedule..come and go as I please. The only time I put on wieght is when Im in a relationship... I think men make me eat..does this happen to any other gals here... Do men cause wieght gain???...

Lancecrossfire
Animoderator

07-13-2000

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lancecrossfire a private message Print Post    
Chewpito men cause weight gain only if they hold a gun to your head and force you to eat.

Otherwise, the person putting food into their mouths cause the weight gain. Being over weight myself at this point in time, I include myself as the reason I'm over weight. I make choices. Maybe I react to something someone does, although ultimately my reaction is no one's doing but my own.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Of course Lance, I agree. we are all accountable for what we do... Im still curious to hear from some ladys here though...women "I think" react to stress differant then men...and food is a comfort....Men tend to leave the home when things are troubled...find some activity or sport to work things thru... women are more apt to stay in the home and be near comfort things when troubled..food is a comfort,a quick fix. Just a thought... I work with abused women almost daily and we have support groups, and food has come up.... and Im not laying blaim, just a thought...from my own experiance..

Abby7
Member

07-17-2002

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Abby7 a private message Print Post    
no chewpito, i've never even heard ANYONE say that. you eat because you want to eat. you are with a man because you decide to be with that man.

i hope/think you are kidding with your post?

how can anyone MAKE YOU gain weight?

eta: i just read your post above to lance. imo, yes you are blaming men. you eat because you decide to...don't blame another person.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
oh, and your right about the Hold the gun to your head thing....lol, been there...its not cool.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
I wasnt kidding...

Abby7
Member

07-17-2002

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 11:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Abby7 a private message Print Post    
well, if the men you have lived with make you eat because men tend to leave the home when things are troubled.....then is that their fault?

also, if you want to think that way...how about this. men have to leave home, because women make home life troubled. that's opinion is ridiculous too.

even if you do feel that way about some men...next time, leave that man before you feel the urge to eat.

eta: time for bed, so if you do answer chewpito, i won't be replying tonight. i did find your post interesting though. night.

Dolphinschild
Member

06-22-2006

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 11:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dolphinschild a private message Print Post    
Im going on 44 years old and 4 years ago during my 20 yr class reunion, I was told by this guy I looked very beautiful and attractive, that I haven't changed much,then he said, "But your to old to date." I asked him what he meant by that, we were the same age, he said, "sorry I don't date anyone over 30!" I had to tell him, good because I wasn't looking...

So I don't only have a weight issue to worry about in dating, I have my age too!?

As for my weight I was always thin till I had my second daughter. It was then that my weight has been an issue since 34 yrs old. I lost 50 lbs from this doctors diet, then it caused something to go wrong with my blood and caused me to lose my gall bladder, and I gained the weight back. It is a health issue for me. But that is not my only stresser when it comes to dating, like worrying if I am to fat, my problem is also worrying if I am too old. And I am not that heavy actually, I am a chubby girl, but I'm not really large, I hold my weight well, but men want Barbie who can climb a freaking mountain and run a marathon.

Then the other problem is.... the only men who are interested are ALL MARRIED. Only married men want to get involved and I am sick of it. I tell them to go away and get a life and I deserve and I am worthy to have someone better then that.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 11:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Abby, Im speaking from converstions I have had with other women, mostly abused women.. Im not talking about "fault" here.. I think its a two way street, woman can cause a man to drink or eat(of course that goes both ways) and a man can drive a women to eat or drink... I just think (and im only speaking on my behalf-not talking for the sisterhood here)in argumentive times a women might cause a man to go on extended fishing trips, Im joking here..Im trying to say is that women are more apt to stay in the home, caring for children,nurturing the home front...Its just easyer for a women (in troubled times) to eat then say..."Im off to play golf all day"... and Im just throwing some stuff around.... Im single and Im also not fat. I do know when Im in a relationship I tend to eat more "not because ive a gun to my head" but because im settled in and not out and about as much...Im more willing to stay home and cook then I would for just myself or whatever... where I might never have Ice cream and cold beer in my frig, I might suddenly have that there and might be driven to it more easy than if it was not there...Now I soppose if I had a roommate that filled my shelves with oreo's I would be attracted to them as well...where normally I would never have that there... any way Im not trying to create a rift, just wondering about it.. In a ideal relationship, every thing dandy,no worrys..."all is good"... Just wondering if in a "rocky" relationship are women "or men" more prone to eat more..which in turn makes that person feel not so great about ones self and then in turn causes more stresses in the relationship...then more arguments that get personal and feelings get hurt, doors slam - one is left at home near food and the other winds up bouncing balls on a court somewhere.. its just a thought.... Im real tierd, I dont even know what im writing right now... befor I get modded ill quit... if this makes no sence then zoom down...and forget you saw it at all...

Gradstudent
Member

07-10-2005

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 12:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gradstudent a private message Print Post    
Chewpito, I agree with you...especially in the way that you explained it as eating being stress related, and that stress being caused by a relationship. I saw it with my mom. But it was not just her stress...my dad did use food as a tool with her, and it was not pretty.

Yes, she made her own choices, but stress often causes people to reach for things of comfort. And food is often one of those things. In my mom's case, and in my opinion, my dad WAS to blame. She could have left him, but she had us kids to consider - and she loved him in spite of the difficulties.

And I have to add - opinions are not ridiculous, they are what they are...opinions.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 12:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Thankyou Grad, It is just an opinion..and the story you spoke with your mom ive heard time and time again....Thankyou- Im not always real good at getting what im trying to say on the keyboard.. my head knows what im trying to say but my fingers dont allways walk the walk.. Good Night...

Shadoe
Member

11-04-2004

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 1:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Shadoe a private message Print Post    
Many things can cause weight gains. Medications is one of them, and also quitting smoking for some people occurs initially. Even aging causes a sort of rearrangement of your body fat.
A person who judges others by their size/weight among other reasons is a very shallow person.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 1:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Cant argue with that!!

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 3:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i keep seeing a lot of news stories on TV about how we baby boomers are having to take time out of our lives to care for elderly parents. the host always makes it sound like this is a NEW experience.

taking care of all generations in one household is common in many countries and not something new here either. my parents had their grandparents living with them while they grew up.

our generation seems to have a mixture of folks that had grandparents in the home and those that did not. so, i guess it skipped a generation for many of us.

but, it isn't something new and mind boggling as the news media seems to be portraying it.