TVCH FORUMS HOME . JOIN . FAN CLUBS . DONATE . CONTACT . CHAT  
 Wikia  Quick Links   TOPICS . TREE-VIEW . SEARCH . HELP! . NEWS . PROFILE
Archive through June 15, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Jan. 2007 ~ Mar. 2007: Parenting Place: New Parents to be........Tips and advice for us: ARCHIVES: Archive through June 15, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Danzdol
Member

04-21-2001

Friday, May 26, 2006 - 11:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Danzdol a private message Print Post    
Very cute Cinna!

Enbwife
Member

08-14-2000

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 3:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Enbwife a private message Print Post    
So true. I needed to read that today. :-)

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Thursday, June 01, 2006 - 5:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Spitfire a private message Print Post    
Well after lots of pressure yesterday and a day full of braxton hicks the doctor checked me at my appointment. 1cm dialated and she could feel babies head. Then this morning I lost a bit of my plug so I guess things are progressing well. So I finally decided that tomorrow is going to be my last day at work. This morning helped me make that decision even thought I know it could be a few more weeks. I have 9 days holidays to use so really I am on holidays until June 15th.

We finally go a computer at home so I will be able to keep up with the stuff going on around here!

Skootz
Member

07-23-2003

Thursday, June 01, 2006 - 3:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Skootz a private message Print Post    
Best of Luck Spit - cannot wait to hear the announcment

Danzdol
Member

04-21-2001

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 8:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Danzdol a private message Print Post    
Yeh Spit!!!! so exciting!

Update on us...I have decided to wait until the fall to try again. If it happens before then , then it's ok. BUt, I have been working out really hard and finally trying to lose my weight gain and I really want to lose a little more and get active again before we try. We also bought a house , which is why we are living on the beach, while it gets built. So, it will work out best to wait and try in the Fall so that weight is off and new house is finished! Can you imagine moving with a big ol' belly?????? Too much stress....

In the mean time, I love hearing from everyone!

Enbwife
Member

08-14-2000

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 9:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Enbwife a private message Print Post    
Good luck Spit... any news???
Danz - good decision... moving is stressful. A new house is nice!

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 6:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Spitfire a private message Print Post    
Nope...nothing much happening except exhaustion. LOL

Went to doctors on Tuesday and all that she said was that I have dropped - which I knew - and that it could be anytime - which I also knew. So why can't she just tell me when I may be over with all this achy stuff. LOL.

I still am amazed that I have only gained 13 pounds. It's totally all my belly. That must be why my back aches like a champ.

Enbwife
Member

08-14-2000

Friday, June 09, 2006 - 2:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Enbwife a private message Print Post    
Hang in there Spit... it's almost over. :-)

Enbwife
Member

08-14-2000

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 5:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Enbwife a private message Print Post    
I wonder how Spit is doing?? Do we have a baby Spit #2 yet? Hope you're doing well...

Kimmo
Member

05-02-2003

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 - 11:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kimmo a private message Print Post    
I have missed a lot! Danz, I'm very to see you're back....I can definitely understand your absence. Dylan is still adorable (that hair)! :-)

Spitfire, maybe the baby is already on its way! Good luck, I wouldn't worry about the weight issue either.

Cinnamongirl, thanks for sharing....Very true stuff, can't wait for each to happen. :-)

Lisa, are you back at work now? How is it going? I just signed Ada up for parent-tot swim lessons, that will be fun! She is still a real firebrand. Rowan started taekwondo class in May, he loves it now! Will post pictures later....

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 5:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Spitfire a private message Print Post    
Still hanging in. 38 weeks yesterday and counting down. I have an appointment today so maybe she will examine me, although I doubt it because she said that she doesn't do that till 39 weeks. I'm trying to think up a good excuse to use so she does..LOL!

Skootz
Member

07-23-2003

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 6:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Skootz a private message Print Post    
forget the examination...just spend some "close" time with dh

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 6:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
that never worked for us. They did exams for me from 37 weeks on. Good luck spitfire~

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 7:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Zachsmom a private message Print Post    
Spit, the last month of pregnancy seems to last longer than the previous 8 months! I hope baby Spitfire comes soon! Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? Or are you waiting to be surprised?

Enbwife
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 9:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Enbwife a private message Print Post    
Starr was 12 days late... I didn't mind because I knew it was my last little while to be a mommy to only one child, ever again.
Kimmo- I go back to work on Oct.2, 3-4 days a week. I just picked up an at home admin job for 20 hours a month for a small business in my neighbourhood, so I'm happy about that. Just trying to enjoy every day of the summer before I head back into the suits and office again.

Christiii
Member

07-07-2005

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 10:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Christiii a private message Print Post    
okay guys...I need some help....Im a new parent to be...but theru the adoption route....Im 44 and single (no reason other than I ust never found the right guy). I own a boutique so my schedule is pretty flexable (meaning I dont have a boss to tell me I cant bring her to work or run errands or something). I AM 44, but a pretty young 44 I guess....Disneyland is my favorite place on earth!
Okay..enough about me....I was looking for a toddler girl, or maybe a year to 4....just wanted her to be able to grow up knowing me as mom, and not have lots of memories of a problem home before mine, if that makes sense.
Okay...so my social worker called me with a girl who just turned six....she is shy at first, but very sweet they say...and is small for her age...35 lbs and just turned six in march.
She sounds like a perfect match for me is some ways, but its hard to let go of the dream of a cute fat lil toddler to dress up and snuggle with...is that selfish??
She also has two capped front teeth in silver, which Im told are her baby teeth and that is the norm to do for baby teeth. They could be in for a year or longer tho....
BUT, when I was growing up, those were always the low income, uncared for kids that their teeth rotted out from koolaid in their bottles. It kind of bothers me...PLEASE dont kill me for that....its just that Im afraid that when we meet people they will automatically assume that Im not a good mom, when actually Ive been thru waay more training and evaulations than a regular mom would ever have to go thru....Am I awful?? its really hard for me to even write this....I know she needs me and I could get her a wonderful life...am I being selfish??
Do you moms out there see a lot of kids with silver teeth and think nothing of it??
Gosh, my head is just spinning on what to do....on one hand, she would be really fun to do things with now...I even got an Easy Bake oven for christmas, so we could break that sucker out right now!! I just had always thought that I would have a much younger lil girl so I havent even thought of this.
My mom (who is my best friend) and I went and looked at a pic of her today...my gosh she just is a little waif, straight out of central casting ofr Les Mis...I KNOW she needs me....I just dont have a clue what to do.....
please dont hate me or think im shallow....its just such a life altering decision...and Im so torn!!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 10:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
Deep breath Christiii:

First off: get her front teeth capped with porcelain if it's a problem for you.

This girl is being brought to you for a reason. This is one of those "let go and let god" situations.

Six and Four are not a big difference.

She needs you as much as you need her.

Also, who's to say she won't be a good big sis for another child you adopt.

And on another note:

GOD BLESS YOU FOR BEING AN ADOPTIVE PARENT!!!!!!

((((((Christiii))))))

Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 10:38 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Maris a private message Print Post    
I took care of kids whose parents were quite wealthy and the baby had bottle rot. Giving a child a bottle at bedtime is the most common cause of bottle rot.

The thing is if you love your kid you wont worry what others think. My son had absolutely awful teeth and we could not put braces on him until all his baby teeth fell out which took forever and he only got the braces last summer. Also when he was really young he had a huge shiner and believe me I got plenty of dirty looks with people assuming I clocked the kid.

My impression of your post is that you dont seem that sure about the adoption and you dont want to cause that child any more pain than taking her in and then changing your mind. The advantage of a 6 year old is no diapers!!! they are verbal!!!

Have you asked the adoption agency about her history. Is she a child of abuse? does she have emotional problems? Can you meet the child without her knowing who you are or that you are a potential parent? Is she in foster care right now? Could you take her on as foster parent with a view to adoption?

I wouldnt adopt a child unless I was 100% sure and committed to what I was doing.

Christiii
Member

07-07-2005

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 10:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Christiii a private message Print Post    
oh of course i wont adopt until Im 100% sure....she is in foster care now...and her she came from a family of both drug and phyiscal abuse....she went into foster care about 2 years ago and then her mom got her back for 3 months...she couldnt handle it and lost her again. her parental rights are to be terminated in Aug....until then, she goes for a visit once a month to see mom. She would be in my foster care until she is available to adoption, then we would start that process. She has been termed " a joy" which is awesome....What happens is that if I say i want to be considered for her, then I go into a pool of the other families that want her..and IF Im selected then I go meet her, jsut for an afternoon..then maybe a day at the park or something....its not rushed....I just am so torn like i said...on one hand it would be awesome to have a girl her age to really share things with...but then Im giving up the baby years....I jsut dont know....its just al hitting me becuase I had never thought of one this age before!!

Justavice
Member

11-22-2005

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 10:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Justavice a private message Print Post    
Christiii- I totally agree with Maris.

But I do want to add that if your choice is that this adoption is not the best match for you or for this little girl, that does NOT make you a bad or selfish person. A selfish person would not put so much thought and emotion into making sure the decision is the best possible for both mother and child. And if she is as adorable as she sounds, she WILL find a good family.

And Escapee had a good point-- she might make a great big sister for a toddler...

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 11:01 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I feel very strongly that the best parents do not feel that they are making any sacrifices for their children. They have children and do the things that they do for them because they want to do it.

So IMO, one of the most important things is that you decide that you want the child and you want to do this. Do not do it because you feel it is "the right" thing to do. Do not make sacrifices. Do it because you want to do it – or don't do it.

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 11:01 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
Having a 7 year old girl I can tell you they still like to dress up and cuddle. Kids that age are a blast, you can play all day and enjoy going places like Disneyland because they enjoy it too.

I can say I never look at a child and see bad teeth and think, "gee she has bad, poor parents." My six year old niece has silver caps as well, fantastic parents and decent dental insurance, she just has bad teeth.

I remember when I was pregnant with Caleb. My dream was a little red headed baby who by a couple weeks old would be sleeping through the night and would never fuss and want to spend his days playing peek a boo and laughing. My biggest fear was that he'd be born and I wouldn't like him or he wouldn't like us. Both dream and fear lasted oh until about six seconds after he was born and I saw that white blond fuzz on his head and the little beet red face as he screamed loud and long enough to wake the dead and I fell in love. I think it's fairly common for parents to have fears and dreams, and over time those change. I'd never consider someone elses parental fears silly or shallow or horrible because even though I knew it wouldn't happen that I wouldn't like my own baby for me at the time it was a fear that was real, no matter how unlikely it was.

I totally agree with Justadvice too, a selfish person wouldn't be torn like this. Becoming a parent is a tough decision and you have to weigh everything into that decision.

Hehe, I will say, I absolutely adored the baby years and had fun, but it gets even more fun when they're old enough to really play back and enjoy the things you're doing. I think right now, with a 7 and 10 year old, is the best time ever. Ask me in a couple years and I'll say 9 and 12, lol, but for right now it's absolutely awesome.

Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 11:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Maris a private message Print Post    
All I can tell you is that I enjoy the communicative years a lot more than I did the baby years.

Christiii
Member

07-07-2005

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 12:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Christiii a private message Print Post    
I really appreciate all your comments!! its funny you should say that Maris...because Im such a dork that I was kind of looking forward to a kidlet that isnt talking yet....only because Ive never been a mom before, and I may need time to get the hang of it! I think that kids start out so small and helpless to give parents time to figure out how to do everything! it all of a sudden dawns on me that this girl is going to have lots of opinions and likes and dislikes...and i still dont know how to cook!! She is going to be able to tell me immediately that she hates everything...sheesh...thought I had a little time to perfect the Mac n cheese meal!

Secretsmile
Member

08-19-2002

Thursday, June 15, 2006 - 12:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Secretsmile a private message Print Post    
I'd just like to add that as a new mother Christiii, you have no way of knowing this so I'll be the first to tell you.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO WITH AND FOR YOUR CHILD SOMEONE WILL DISAGREE.

So just relax, do what you can, the best you can and love her to pieces. You need a thick skin as a mom, judgmental people, are the least of it. Wait until the first time the most important person in your world tells you that you are a mean mommy. Trust me, it'll happen, and it's not because you adopted her and aren't doing a good job raising her, it's 'cuz kids are so immature! ROFL!