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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 11:05 am
The boy is 8. I don't know the parents at all and haven't ever seen them in or around class. The principal called back a few minutes ago. Not much to do today with both the kids out of school, she can't talk to either one of them until tomorrow afternoon because they have the STAR testing starting in the morning. She said she tried to call the boys house but all she gets is a busy signal, and has a call into his dads cell phone but he hasn't returned the call yet. Also said she talked to the teacher to see if there was any problems in class that she was aware of or what the boy would be interested in having her bring him. Teacher said only thing she could think of was food so the principal asked if he was begging Kota for food or trading with her. Kota said he's never asked or traded with her. She then asked if the boys loaned Kota anything he might want back. Definite nope. Dakota's still young enough I go through her backpack (which is clear anyways) every day after school and I check her pockets as soon as she's out of her clothes which is as soon as she walks in the door. Unless she's smuggling something in her panties (and I see enough of those everyday to know thats not happening!) she hasn't brought anything home she didn't go to school with. Then she said as far as the rules go a threat against another student means a suspension (at home or in class) and one of her choices at this point is inclass suspension for their next feild trip which is coming up shortly. I said, I do care what happens to the boy, but he's not my concern. My concern is Kota and her unpredictable temper and if this kid comes at her in a threatening way she may go tell the teacher but also might just take a swing at him and I don't want to see her suspended for standing up to a kid who's bullying her. So for today nothing will happen. Tomorrow the kids will be watched (she said she alerted her duty aids who watch the playground and hallways and the teacher that there was a potential problem) and then tomorrow afternoon she'll call the kids in and talk to both of them seperately and decide then what to do about the boy. She also said she was leaving it up to us how much to tell Kota. We can keep it brief, he left a not so nice message, you'll have to talk to the principal tomorrow, he'll most likely get in trouble or tell her exactly what he said. I have to let her know in the morning so she and the teacher will know what to say or not say to Kota about it. Mame, I have to admit it absolutely floored me that he'd leave a message like that! Did he not think me or Darren would hear it? Or that we couldn't save it to let the principal and his parents listen? I have no intention of erasing it til this is dealt with either. There are some garbled bits between "I'm not your friend anymore and I don't want to see you again" but then he gets to the part about how she better bring him something tomorrow or else she'll get beat up and he actually slowed down and spoke very clearly! The whole things just very bizarre. Up til now they've been nothing but friendly and while his phone manners are lacking, he's never been intentionally rude, mean, or threatening. In fact when I asked her if she's had any problems with this boy and if he'd been asking for food or anything, she looked at me like I'd grown a second head. She said they hadn't been having problems and he's her friend. The thing for Darren and me now is to decide how much to tell her, talk to her about it and try to figure out if she has any idea what he's asking for or why he'd make a call like this.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 11:12 am
Sheesh. This kid needs a good talking to and a kick in the pants.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 5:18 pm
wow! I hope he has decent parents and they do the right thing.
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 5:33 pm
Tebs, to me, this kid has some serious problems. I'm betting he's witnessed that behavior somewhere . . . and I'm guessing it's right in the home. Wondering if he is at home unsupervised in the afternoon--which gave him (and maybe a friend) the opportunity to get into mischief and make some 'crank calls.' Totally weird that Kota has no idea what is going on, though. That's what scares me a little about what he's done. Good for you for being so on top of things.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 6:40 pm
Very bizarre, Wardog. Um, what about that cough medicine that makes kids hallucinate? Was he home sick for a cold and taking cough medicine maybe?
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 6:45 pm
Oops, I meant War, not Tabby. Sorry! (Do you know for some reason I can't think of one of you without the other? I dunno why, but I have always paired you two in my mind.)
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 6:55 pm
You know little kids do stupid things sometimes. Even normally fairly nice little kids do stupid things. For example, a friend of my daughter who is normally a nice little girl did a nasty and stupid thing. Her parents straightened things out with her and now she is back to being the sweetest little girl ever. So hopefully that is what will happen here.
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 7:05 pm
Well, Jimmer, you're right, kids do do that. I think this one crosses the line, though--simply because he made a threat. (I am also surprised that an 8 year old doesn't have sense enough to know that his recorded message would get him into trouble.) I am surprised the principal got involved in something that occurred outside the confines of school. I am glad she did; I am just surprised. I worked with a principal who refused to get involved. He made me contact the police rather than get involved in actual physical harm by a student on my dd (age 9) walking home from school (4 houses from the school). He would not give me the address or phone number of the parents, either--as he said he had to protect their privacy. I followed the kid home one day and learned the home address that way. I then knocked on the door. With no help from the parents, we wound up going to family court to pursue the matter--to get him to stop the harrassment.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 7:15 pm
I agree there are some differences. First of all my daughter's friend is five. The offense was spitting on the school bus. My friend's little boy got off the bus and informed his Mom and I that a mean girl was spitting on him. I envisioned some nasty ten-year-old. I just about fell over when my little girl casually mentioned that her angelic friend was one of the perpetrators! As I said, that got stopped quickly and they are all friends now!
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 7:38 pm
He was home for the walk out today. According to Caleb and the neighbor girl about half the school was gone today. Bizarre has been the word I keep coming up with. Up til this morning there was no problem between Dakota and him. He did start off the school year teasing her but that was over pretty quickly and they became friends after that. Even that was silly little stuff like him hiding her pencil or marking answers wrong when they swapped math papers. Darren got home and listened to the answering machine and was able to catch most of what I missed. It starts out with him telling Kota she's ugly and he's not her friend anymore, that he doesn't want to see her anymore. Then Darren is almost sure the boy says he's not her friend anymore because she's friends with someone else. Darren said he was pretty sure that was what the boy said but he couldn't figure out the name he said and I wasn't any help cuz all I heard was a gobbled mess at that point. Then very clearly that if she doesn't bring something to school tomorrow he'll beat her up. I'll mention that tomorrow to the principal and that he wasn't completely sure that's what the boy said and maybe she can make heads or tails out of it when she talks to him. We did talk to Dakota and kept it fairly simple. He'd called, left a msg that wasn't real nice and asked her how things had been with him lately. Also let her know that she'd probably have to talk to the principal tomorrow. Heck maybe the kids just nervous over the testing that starts tomorrow, kids start to act weird around this time of year.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 8:41 pm
Oh Hp, I'm not surprised in the least she's taking action about this. The school district has a pretty strict hands off policy and they enforce it. If they can stop it before it happens all the better. It a problem will in anyway effect what happens at school, they're all over it. There was a little girl in Caleb's class who got suspended for scratching him. All the kids involved, even Caleb, said they were just playing chase and she reached out to grab him and caught him with her fingernail, an accident. But because she tried to grab him, even in play, their rules are very clear, hands off, and she was suspended. Besides which, this is a principal who's absolutely wonderful. My sis says the type of principal parents dream of having for their kids, lol. She's the type who will stop by a students house if the parents can't get to the school for a meeting, or will call when kids are out for more than a couple days to check up on how they're doing and pass along her well wishes. LOL Jimmer, it's always kind of shocking when those sweet little angelic kids do something wrong isn't it? Like most things with kids when they act out, I have a feeling once she talks to the boy there will be some answer, something behind this. Maybe something at home, maybe nerves over the testing, or he was bored at home. I truly don't think it's cuz he's a bad kid.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, May 01, 2006 - 8:41 pm
Sounds like jealousy to me. Maybe he really likes her but she isn't as interested in being friends with him and it hurt his feelings and he struck back in this way. Kids often say that they hate each other and a couple of days later they are back to being friends again. I'm not remotely suggesting that would justify his crazy message, but hopefully there is no real intent behind it.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 8:24 am
I hope there isn't any real intent behind it either Jimmer. Principal was in another meeting and as soon as school started they were turned to a closed campus for the STAR testing. Can't see her face to face but she's supposed to call later. The kids were in weird moods this morning. Caleb slept in (very unusual for him,) then didn't want to eat breakfast. Dakota my little late sleeper, on the other hand, was standing next to my bed fully dressed at a quarter til six telling me it was time to fix her breakfast she was ready to go. Little neighbor girl looked exhausted and said she'd been up late studying vocabulary words for the testing. Caleb's always been nervous about the testing, neighbor girl always goes overboard studying for it, and this is Kota's first year taking it for real. She's pretty excited about it so I'm guessing the rumors about being held back and failing all your classes if you don't do well haven't yet started among the second graders.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 8:45 am
quote:Dakota my little late sleeper, on the other hand, was standing next to my bed fully dressed at a quarter til six telling me it was time to fix her breakfast she was ready to go.
Rofl!!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, May 05, 2006 - 12:52 pm
War, was just wondering how things turned out with the little boy?
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Friday, May 05, 2006 - 7:06 pm
Oh geez! I'm sorry, I got distracted with a few other things (Caleb's had a rather nasty stomach bug) and forgot to post about it. When first questioned about it, he said it was just a joke (he told Kota that too.) But, when the principal questioned him further she found out he'd been in an argument with another boy who is a friend of Kota's last week. I'd taken the kids out of school early last Friday so we could go out of town and she had no idea what had happened. I know the boy he got into an argument with, he's bigger, stronger, and faster than the boy who called here and while he didn't say it, I have a feeling he thought Kota would be an easier target to take his frustration out on. They never did find out what he wanted her to bring either other than thinking it might be some kind of food. Anyways, he gets in school suspension and will miss their field trip coming up. From what I was told today, Kota graciously accepted his apology and told him they could still be friends. Her teacher assured me they'd keep an eye on things to make sure he's not trying to bully her and she's not letting her temper get the better of her. They still don't completely believe me that she has a temper yet cuz all they see is the sweet and polite Kota. If they'd been here this morning they'd have seen it in full force, lol.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Saturday, May 06, 2006 - 4:03 am
Glad it worked out! I hope the kid learned his lesson.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Saturday, May 06, 2006 - 8:49 am
Ahh good glad it wasn't something tooo bad.
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Wednesday, May 10, 2006 - 2:28 pm
Nipped in the bud, this is such a positive thing for that youngster. Proud of Kota! And of his momma for the follow-through. It's a real shame when kids do things and never have to face the consequences. They are the ones who get lost.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 8:24 am
Ok, here's a funny I thought ya'll would enjoy. After missing the field trip Tuesday as punishment for the threatening phone call to Kota, the little boy called and left a message yesterday while we were gone. When we got home and listened to it, Darren and I kinda cracked up. Little boy said, "Hi, Mrs. (last name here) this is so and so. May I please speak to Dakota?" He waited a few seconds and realized we weren't going to pick up so he continued. "I forgot my spelling words at school today and was wondering if Dakota had them. Could she please call me later to read me the list? Thank you." This was by far the most polite phone call we've gotten from this child so maybe he learned a few manners from this experience!
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 11:03 pm
It's a scary world we live in. Monday sis called me and told me when she went to pick up my niece from school there were cops all over the neighborhood. She wasn't sure at the time what was going on, but the next morning she was told by a classmates parent that the day before a man had pulled up and tried to get a little girl in his car. The little girl ran away to a group of parents standing outside waiting for their kids (of which this woman was one) and they called the cops. Tuesday afternoon same guy tried to grab another little girl at a different school a few blocks away from nieces. Same day (Tuesday) there was an article in the local paper about a man pulling up to a 9 year old girl just getting out of school and offering her money to get in his car at a school on this side of town. Same description as the guy at the two schools this week. The part that makes me furious...this attempted abduction of the 9 year old girl happened 2 weeks ago! This has been the only article in the paper about it. No notices have gone home from the school district and other than after the attempts at these schools, police presence hasn't been increased near any of the schools. They send us notices for pink eye, strep throat, and head lice. We get mass phone calls from the principals of our schools informing us of minimum days, open house, or that we forgot to send a note when our kid was sick. Three attempted abductions by the same guy in our school district and we hear about it from parents who were there at the time or one article in the local paper 2 weeks after the first attmept and a day after the second and third ones? It seems irresponsible to me not to notify the parents. I know since sis called me Monday I've been paying more attention to the cars that don't fit around the school. After a few years of parking in the same area you start to recognize people and the cars they drive who are picking up kids and recognize people who live in the neighborhood. I'm not sure if it scares me more that he's going around schools at dismissal time or the fact that we only have a couple weeks of school left and soon neighborhoods will be crawling with kids outside playing all day. I do know my kids will be spending more time in the backyard and when they're out front we will be too.
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Shashakaye
Member
05-19-2003
| Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 4:30 pm
I've been having alot of problems w my 14yo DD. Mothers Day weekend she snuck out of the house and was still gone when we woke up in the morning. We had to call the police and they found her. She said she had snuck out to "talk" with a guy friend and lost track of time. We punished her by taking away phone and computer privleges and taking her to a farm owned by some friends and shovel horse crap for a few days. I also got her into counseling right away. I thought things were getting better until last night the phone rang around 12:30 am and a boy asked for her. I said she's sleeping and don't call here at this time of night. I decided to go check on her and sure enough she was gone again. She finally came strolling in around 4:10am. Her counselor today suggested my DH and I think of an appropraite punishment that will not be punishing us also. I need help. She's going to summer school for failing some classes from 8-12 and I work until 5. I'm wodering if I need to hire a babysitter and I'm at a loss for a punishment. I need help.
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 4:46 pm
I have a 14 year old and I sympathize. I just have no idea what to offer in terms of suggestions. So good thoughts going your way
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 5:01 pm
Sounds like she needs to be scared straight. Got any juvenille detention centers in the area she can tour?
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Shashakaye
Member
05-19-2003
| Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 5:12 pm
Thats's just it, nothing seems to scare her. No juvenile detention centers in my area. Good idea though.
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