Author |
Message |
Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Wednesday, February 07, 2007 - 7:08 pm
Congratulations on your decision, Ginger.
|
Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Wednesday, February 07, 2007 - 7:15 pm
ginger, you have always got to take care of yourself first.
|
Marysafan
Member
08-07-2000
| Wednesday, February 07, 2007 - 7:18 pm
Congratulations Ginger. I'm sure it won't be easy, but you have to do what's best for you.
|
Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Wednesday, February 07, 2007 - 8:18 pm
Good for you, Ginger! You're #1!
|
Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 5:23 am
I need opinions here. Which would make a better Valentines gift? 1. An electric mixer or 2.A remote starter for a car. (My neighbor said he was getting his wife an electric mixer for Valentine's day. It is bitter cold here in the Winter. Their garage is a game room so the car is parked in the driveway. Someone suggested the remote starter). Ladies, which would you rather get. (I am practical so I would want to get both of them).
|
Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 5:56 am
We have a remote starter in our new car. I LOVE it this winter! It's the greatest thing! I vote for the remote starter.
|
Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 6:05 am
if i got either one of them for Valentine's Day i'd shoot my husband. sorry, but those things are not gifts in my opinion unless it is a wedding shower.
|
Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 6:18 am
I'd vote for a remote starter with a heart glued on it!
|
Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 6:32 am
Kearie, I disagree. I have a book on the table right now, put out by NPR, called "This I believe", compiled by Jay Allison. I have only read one of the essays, one by Errol Morris called "There is such a thing as truth." Morris put out the movie, The Fog of War, about Vietnam, about Robert McNamara, the secretary of defense back then (compare to Rumsfeld). Opinon? Or truth? I believe the war in Iraq is wrong. Is that my opinion? I believe it so strongly that it is my truth. It's hard to tolerate the opposing opinion, which is not the truth, in my view. Get the book. Read the essay. This I believe. I got it from the library. If I feel so strongly about the war in Iraq, and I do, imagine how I feel about family matters, like raising kids, and so forth. For me there are truths. It's hard for me to compromise on truths. I don't want to. Why should I?
|
Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 6:39 am
Mocha, I rehash to learn, to remember, to let go. Is that wrong? It's not like I live with it every moment of every day. I don't. I moved out in l997. Time flies. That's 10 years now. Our older son is going to Iraq in June? He's a Marine. He ran away from us to the Marines when he was 18. He feels like that is his home moreso than his battling parents. Chili, she was 37, age appropriate for me at the time. Was married, was Catholic, was divorced (got an annulment), I waited a couple years before dating her. Karuuna, too bad I didn't read your advice about yelling at the time, when it was happening. I can't imagine if I would have had a computer back then, going to this site, talking about our relationship to you people. She would have been so jealous and angry. She would have viewed that as betrayal.
|
Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 6:44 am
Ginger good luck meeting someone new. That's the hard part. The easy part is figuring out your relationship is not working and is never going to work the way you want it to, the way you dreamed it would, expected it would. I look at that astronaut case, that love triangle. Who do you meet in everyday life? The people you work with. Workplace romances. For me, a mailman, that means other carriers, clerks, or with customers. And if it doesn't work out, then you see them every single day, and it's painful. The last successful dating thing I had was thru friends. I wish I had more friends who want to play matchmaker. I think that's the way to go. For me, being single and alone is much better than being in a bad relationship, trapped. Good luck.
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 7:50 am
I would not want either for Vday.
|
Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 7:53 am
I don't think it's wrong unless you're wallowing in it.
|
Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 7:56 am
i wouldn't want either for valentine's day either. give me a practical gift any other time of the year. but i want a romantic gift on valentine's day.
|
Ginger1218
Member
08-31-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:17 am
The thing is, is that on so many levels it does work for me. I love him, I know I will always love him. He has helped me like myself more, made me feel beautiful, and I want him in my life in some way, even as a friend eventually. I just know that what I need in my life now, he cannot give me. And I have to be selfish. I just have to think about how I want to follow this process. I need to lay the foundation for what I am thinking.
|
Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:28 am
Take me to dinner, give me the remote starter, and a lil hanky panky that night ... great Vday ... lol ...
|
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:39 am
Ginger It's a good thing to see what you need in life, what your heart desires, and to go for it! It's so easy to stay in the comfortable rut, and not take the risk that might lead to your dreams. You go, girl! Dogdoc Personally, I would prefer neither, but Ladytex's suggestion might work. Newman It sounds like your ex-wife was horribly insecure. That's very difficult for her to overcome, and for anyone else to deal with.
|
Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:12 pm
Dogdoc, I would never like a mixer for any kind of gift. IMO that's a home necessity and would not be a good gift unless someone specified they wanted that for a gift. The autostart is a necessity if you live in a cold climate IMO but if I had a car that didn't have one in it, I would love getting one as a gift because IMO it's a show of pampering. Possibly it's not a good gift for VD because it's not necessarily romantic to some. However, if you consider your spouse wanting to pamper you by not making you go out in the cold to warm up your car all the time romantic (I do) then go for it. I love my autostart and wouldn't own a car without one. I'm spoiled, I know.
|
Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:25 pm
I vote for the autostart...at least in my life that would be an every day thing, while the mixer would be used on occasion. Though I do love having a nice mixer....I treated myself about 7 years ago and it was a big-deal purchase. But in retrospect, I screwed up when I bought mine and spent a lot of money and find it harder to use than it should be. The head of the mixer doesn't go back; instead the bowl goes up and down. It's real hard to get the beaters out after you mix up a cake. I guess they did it for stability, but I would like less stability and a quicker release without getting batter all over my hands! (Did I just write a paragraph on my mixer? LOL!)
|
Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:38 pm
I love my Kitchen Aid mixer and have had it for many many years. Yesitsme, I am trying to picture the bowl going up instead of the mixer head. I think the remote starter would be a thoughtful gift even if it is not romantic.
|
Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 6:42 am
Either gift could work well, depending on the recipient. Either could also be a disaster. I don't believe a romantic gift can be seen on the surface. For example, I don't really like the traditional dozen roses. I think they are beautiful and smell nice, but they are a gift that has become almost thoughtless. If anyone knows me well and wants to get me flowers, they would get me something like daisies, pink sweetheart roses, a handful of wild flowers, or something else pretty but a bit less traditional....and I would prefer that they would be hand delivered to me, without fanfare. That would be far more romantic to me, regardless of what anyone else thought. I have other friends that would prefer those red roses and want them delivered to them at work in a crystal vase, when everyone is around, so everyone can see and oooh and ahhhhh. That would be a romantic gesture to them. I guess we all just want to feel like the person who loves us "gets" us and understands what means most to us. Sometimes the greatest romantic gesture would be a clean bathroom! In fact, come to think of it, if I had a Valentine this year (poor little me...lol) that would probably score major points. But I must say, any romantic gesture or gift should be appreciated. Even if they stop at the gas station on the way home and grab that bundle of flowers at the counter or decide to make you dinner and it is a complete flop, take a minute to breathe, smile (inside and out)and enjoy!
|
Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 8:07 am
Compromise. Some people are totally able to compromise. And others aren't. Ginger, I just talked to my ex last night. She just moved to Idaho with a new boyfriend. She sounds happy. Good for her. We talked about our kids and then I had to go to a class. I don't see where she keeps meeting new people. That's my problem. I just got back from my church class, essentially on how to be a liberal?, and couldn't relate to it, reverted to my shy personna, didn't say a word, just listened for an hour and a half. Don't think I'll go back. Large classes intimidate me. 16 people. You say that on so many levels it does work for you. Do you have to have ALL THE LEVELS? I'm thinking if my wife wasn't a YELLER it would have worked for me! That's a big "level". Another girl I lived with, in my 30s, well, she was a political liberal, loved baseball, but was so needy. That wasn't a good fit. Maybe I'm like you too. I need all the levels. If you're missing an important part, well, that seems all you focus on. Sigh...
|
Ginger1218
Member
08-31-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 9:21 am
The part that I am missing is the total commitment. He cannot give me that. I want a life partner.
|
Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 10:48 am
Hmmm...interesting. What is this inability to commit. I wonder what his issue is. He likes you, but...he thinks he can do better? Or the way you snap your gum drives him nuts??? It's always something. I was talking to my pal Cib at breakfast today. We were talking about Seinfeld, and how often they hit on topics that resonate for us. The only difference is that they would so easily find someone new to date, next week, no problem. That doesn't reflect real life. Jerry might be going out with "man hands" or the "low talker" or the massage girl who wouldn't give him a massage or the meat eating girl of mutton fame and so forth. Remember the episodes where he was dating someone who was the female version of himself! "What a shame." They were too much alike. And that was a problem too. But in real life, as opposed to a sit com, you can date someone for awhile, but then you can go YEARS before you recover from that and find another one, or are willing to try again. And it sure doesn't get easier when you're in your 50s. The tendency is to give up.
|
Ginger1218
Member
08-31-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 10:54 am
He loves me, I know that. But he has a lot of baggage. Family baggage. And it will never change.
|
|
|
|