Author |
Message |
Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 9:16 pm
Nope Mama. I just won't answer the phone for that number again. Caller I.D. Have been getting several calls a day from this number and just decided to nail him tonight. lol
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Twinkie
Member
09-24-2002
| Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 11:07 pm
Always ask to speak to the supervisor and get both people's names. Tell the sup that if your name isn't off the list immediately you will contact the BBB. 8 weeks is so much BS.
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Racsan
Member
04-09-2004
| Friday, December 29, 2006 - 10:35 pm
I was thrown when I first saw my 15-year-old niece's thong sticking out of her low-riding jeans. She was pregnant within two years and dropped out of high school shortly after giving birth. Thongs cause pregnancy?
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 7:49 pm
okay, I have a gripe and need some opinions and advice. Yesterday a friend at work and I were having a casual conversation and she asked me something about my job -- she wanted to know if my boss approved the documents that I write. Now I am considered an expert in my field, that is why I was hired, I have been doing this job for over 20 years. My boss has very much empowered me to make decisions based on the many conversations(almost daily) about the company philosophy and direction. And when in doubt I go to her with my questions. I did relay this information to my friend during our casual conversation. But I also did say that no she doesn't approve my work (there is no formal approval process and that is what I thought she was asking) So here is the deal, she decided that she needed to tell her boss that noone was approving my work before it set the policy for the company and that could put the company at risk. Her boss then sent an email to my boss and I got called in this morning to give my side of the story. I was totally stunned! It never occurred to me that my comments could be so misconstrued and I sure don't understand the motivation of my friend. She is well aware that my documents are reviewed by about 25 people, she is one of them, (to get buy-in), are based on industry standards (I don't just pull them out of my a$$) and then are reviewed by legal!! I just don't get it, I am now very aware that I can't trust this woman with any conversation regarding my job and she is clearly not my friend. But this just floors me. Thanks for letting me gripe about this, I have had a few conversations with myself to let this go. I know I do a really great job, I recieve many compliments for my work and received one of the annual awards. I am really trying to remember all the positive and not let one negative negate all the good things. Thanks for listening!
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 7:52 pm
Oh, any my boss was stunned as well and knew that there must have been a misunderstanding, so that is not a problem.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 7:59 pm
I wouldn't worry about it, then. Your boss is the one who counts. That woman is clearly trying to cause trouble. As you say, you can't say anything to her. People like her gain importance (in their own minds) when they point out things to the bosses.
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:17 pm
Well, Dipo, I was a writer in a corporation and the lengthy (PITA) approval process always required signoff by a long list of people, including legal--and my boss. So, I actually think your friend is right, ttytt. A process that involves signoff of all involved actually protects not only the company, but YOU. (That way no one can guillotine you should something hit the fan due to something in print.) I think this gal was thinking 'big picture' style, which is good. I doubt she was setting you in a bullseye, but rather is trying to show her worth to the company by focusing on clearer policy meant to protect the company.
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Max
Moderator
08-12-2000
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:57 pm
I've been there. It sounds like you do have a formal procedure for getting approval for all concerned parties. From your post, it sounds to me like you thought she was asking if your boss reviewed the final piece just before it was sent out to give one final stamp of "official" approval. Since that's not the case (your boss trusts that you follow the standard approval process along the way), you responded no to her question. All that is well and good and it further sounds as though your boss backed you up nicely and whatever damage this woman was trying to cause you is going to reflect badly upon her instead of you. That portion of the situation seems to be resolved. The unresolved portion is your relationship with this woman whom you thought was a friend. You are stunned and hurt at what she did and confused as to why she did it. THat's very understandable. Since you will probably need to continue working with her in some capacity, you need to resolve the situation with her ASAP. I would suggest asking her to go for coffee or get together in a closed office or conference room to chat for a few minutes. Tell her that you are hurt that she jumped to these conclusions and created a stir where one was not needed and that you're mystified why she would do something like that because you thought you were friends. You need to be very calm about the whole thing -- treat it as though you are talking to an employee, which will probably make it easier to stay calm and relatively unemotional. Give her a chance to make whatever reparations and apologies she wants/needs to make. Then let her know that from this point forward, you will not be discussing things with her beyond what is required of your working relationship. I just think that you need to be very up front about these kind of situations to clear the air. Otherwise, the whole incident can fester and cause problems later on. But that's my opinion, your mileage may vary! 
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 8:58 pm
But herckle, I did get legal signoff.
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 9:20 pm
Dipo, that's not what I meant. I meant Legal sees with legal eyes, but that is really not a 360 degree view. (We used to review certain documents roundtable, and I could hear the differing takes on themes, words, approaches. Very interesting and helpful, if tiring.) Legal's perspective might not address, for example, company 5-year plans, PR issues with a particular client, or changes that can suddenly supercede typical protocols. Without your boss' signoff, he could either take an ax himself . . . or let you take an ax. Sounds like you are a totally responsible writer and that your boss has every confidence in you. That's great! Maybe there is nothing to worry about. But if this gal is new (is she?), she is probably bringing up this issue because the process runs counter to the routine she followed. I think having coffee with her and feeling her out is a good idea. I mean, I do take her to task about doing this without at least mentioning it to you. That I don't like at all. Esp if you thought you were friends. I guess I'd be honest in telling her the manner in which she introduced this topic (by going to the top first) was improper in your mind. Stepping on toes without discussing the matter with those involved directly does not help one earn the trust of your coworkers. (Or just flat out tell her you've lost trust in her.) Well, try not to draw a gun when you say that. Heh. I'd look at her questioning--like, what in the world prompted her to jump levels when she could have taken the suggestion straight to the horse's mouth--your boss. ETA: Plus, I think I'd say something about feeling 'pumped' for information that she then used to create an issue for your boss.
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Thursday, February 08, 2007 - 9:56 pm
It sounded to me like she had an ulterior motive and did exactly what she meant to do; cause a problem while trying to make you look bad. I would absolutely find a way to confront her to see what she has to say. She is not your friend.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 6:29 am
Her actions seem so out of the blue and so intentional. How long has she worked there? What would prompt this action now on her part?
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 6:57 am
why confront her and give her another reason to go tattle to her boss? who knows how the story would get back. continue to work with her in a professional manner and that's it. you know what she's done, she knows what she's done, no explanations needed. sorry you've lost a friend, but she doesn't sound like she was much of one in the first place.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 7:36 am
Lady is right. I would just "carry on" and be very wary of that "friend."
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 7:39 am
ITA with ladytex. watch your back. this coworker sounds like she's after your job.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 10:03 am
another ditto to LT
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 12:03 pm
You guys are great. I really felt a lot better after I had "vented" it. I am just sad that I don't feel I can trust this woman anymore. I have been thinking about why she would do this and my only conclusion is that she is emulating her boss (who thinks she is all that and a slice of bread but not well respected at higher levels-I am not sure her boss is aware of that, however). Anyway, I have a great job, great boss, love what I do and am very good at it. We, the woman and I, worked together in another department for a year or so, she has been working here for 2-3 years, and just moved to this new department. We have a lot of interaction (collaboration, LOL, one of our buzz words) and I think she thought her new job would be more like mine. But her boss is nowhere near the caliber of mine! And her job has turned into more of a audit position. Anyway, I have decided to let it go, if I confront her it could escalate to something worse, her boss is known for stabbing people and leaving them to die on the side of the road, LOL. I am afraid my friend has been influenced. I will just be very wary of her from now on, and ask why she wants to know stuff. And in the future I will only discuss non-work stuff, like travel and vacation. Thank you all so much!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 12:22 pm
it sounds like she was asking cause she did anticipate that her job would be more like yours. for some reason i am picturing a conversation between her and her boss friend 'Dipo does x,y,z. why can't i? boss what? runs and complains. good luck to you.
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 4:15 pm
ITA, Texannie. Dipo, I'd be careful with whatever I discussed with this person in the future, professional or personal. Some people like to find out your personal info and twist it to use it against you also. If she's become jealous of you for some reason, you have no idea what she'll do.
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 4:42 pm
Always keep your 'cards' close to your vest.
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 5:30 pm
Yup!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Friday, February 09, 2007 - 5:43 pm
(((((Dipo))))) It's always deeply hurtful when friends change, and they start to pull away, or worse yet undermine you, and you're still in loyal, affectionate friend mode, and I suppose they've moved on... and you don't know why. It's gotta be worse when you have to work with them. Isn't it great that we can share baffling, hurful experiences and get straight-forward advice. My take on this is that you were a good friend and saw no reason to guard words and now you know that she has undermined you. Luckily for you your boss is an understanding gem. This could have easily turned out dreadfully. I am so happy for you that your boss has your back. I would give this 'friend' a wide berth from now on, unless you want to make yourself available for more stunts from her. I wonder about this - does she know about the fallout from her comment to her boss? In my life, its all about intentions. If she had no ulterior motive and just stupidly repeated what you said, then she deserves a second chance as a friend, but still you'd have to be guarded around her. IF she deliberately set out to mess with you, I think you'd be able to tell from her attitude. Anyhow, not knowing is torture. So you might at least want to try to get a straight answer from her. If she dodges it, or you feel uncomfortable, that may be your answer right there. Although you may never know why.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 1:05 pm
How come "freedom of speech" is only allowed when you are being "politically correct"?
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Chiliwilli
Member
09-04-2006
| Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 4:25 pm
Because some people only want you to have freedom of speech if you agree with them or their ideas/opinions. If you don't, then you are "politically incorrect" or "hurtful" or whatever they can think of to try to keep you silent.
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Serate
Member
08-21-2001
| Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 4:51 pm
THANK YOU Chiliwilli! I couldn't have said it better myself!
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