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Archive through December 03, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Jan. 2007 ~ Mar. 2007: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits...: ARCHIVES: Archive through December 03, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Yeah you don't get it.

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
Whoami, you are loved! I keep telling you that you have beautiful hair and gorgeous eyes. Why won't you believe me? You give, give and give some more to people all around you. We see that in you. Most of us live in different states and that makes having lunch difficult.

Yes, Kar, go have lunch with Whoami.

Lori and Scooter, I always read the PINK posts. Besides, wasn't Lori just named "mod of the year", or something like that?


Marysafan
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Marysafan a private message Print Post    
Newman, my comment was not meant to be adversarial, it was meant to be a challenge of sorts.

You left this board for a reason, things didn't work out for you. How is it going to be different this time? Do you expect everyone else to change, or will something about you change? Your expectations perhaps? If nothing changes...then won't the result be the same?

If you aren't getting what you want from people in your life...and it doesn't sound like you are...then doing the same things, repeating the same patterns and expecting the different results...well, you know the rest.

Now does that sound advesarial...or does that sound like someone who is concerned?

The burr that you perceived is just me being honest, and not taking the time or making the effort to soften it. You see how that works?

Biloxibelle
Member

12-21-2001

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biloxibelle a private message Print Post    
I would love to have lunch with Who.

Mocha, you made me think about some things. I was so upset when you left. But, I didn't e-mail you or post in your folder. I let my own pain take over. I was so angry and so sick thinking about my granddaughter, along with my 2 nephews and niece. and the effects of this world on them. Right now they are so innocent it kills me to know someday they will face the pain you have. I got so wrapped up in my own self I forgot you didn't know how I felt. How could you? I didn't say anything. I am sorry for that.

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
Dr. Phil, where are you?

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Oh poo that's ok Biloxi. Who is good people.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Glenn and Mocha and everyone else I offended by making past, hurried, speed reading remarks, I AM SORRY. I never intend to hurt people. That's not me.

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
Oh and Good Morning, Mocha.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
So Newman, on this board, who do you consider a friend? I mean is their anyone who you care about on a personal level? Do you know what's going on in their lives? Can they email you and talk about themselves and have you respond in a kind, supportive way?

I know several people on the board but I'm only "friends" with a few. I talk to many people and exchange thoughts and ideas with several people. I care about them, but I don't focus my energies and time on worrying about them.

Some people on the board I admire and respect.
Some people I enjoy "playing" with. Others I learn from. Some people I haven't taken the time to get to know because...well, I'm me. (I can only be personally involved with a few people otherwise I get overwhelmed and then I crash) And still others I just don't care much for.

I don't expect my casual aquantances here to keep tabs on me, to worry about me. I have my close friends and we would stay in touch. No question about that.

I also find it hard to talk to someone who doesn't discuss their thoughts AND my thoughts. It's hard to want to get to know people who are overly defensive. Just my 2 cents.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Kearie, I 90% agree with your post.

I think there are a few people on this site that I would call friends. They are people like me. Similar to me. Similar interests, thought patterns, similar intelligence, similar politics, similar lack of Fundamentalist religion. And so forth.

I love feedback. I live for it. There's a big difference between that and just arguing. I had a wife who loved to argue. I would say UP and she would say DOWN. Or I would say LEFT and she would say RIGHT. It didn't matter with her. She just love the thrill of the debate. I'm not like that.

Another reason I left, as I now recall, was that I would never, hardly ever, hear the "I agree with Newman" post/feedback. That's important to me. I can't possibly be wrong all the time, like I was with my ex. Surely there must be some like minded people out there, who see the world similar to the way i do.

As for the defensiveness...I would say that I get attacked on this site more than anyone else. Really, I can't think of who would be in second place, can you, Kearie? When attacked, i will defend. That's how i am. Is that wrong?


Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I think we can have different types of friends. I have some great friends but I don't share personal things with them. Other friends I do share some things with.

What I am trying to say is that just because a person is not asking about personal issues, it doesn't mean that they aren't a friend or that they don't enjoy the exchanges that they have with you.

Coco
Member

07-13-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Coco a private message Print Post    
Whoami, I truly enjoyed your company at the LB dinner...remember, it was me who ensured that you didn't push your mother's wheelchair over the curb....lol! I know I haven't been the greatest of posters on the board in the last two years but it doesn't mean I don't think about you and others here. Also, you were so supportive when my nephew marched in the Rose Parade and I'll always keep a special place for you in my heart for your kindness! Now, go to lunch with Karuuna.

Kearie, I'm still waiting for that autographed book from the BB1 experience. BTW, I was Egbok back then on the board. We IM'd a few times and I recall that you had red and blue hair and we joked that it was for July 4th...LOL!! I did miss you when you left the board, but I didn't understand internet etiquette and also I was afraid you would not answer. Shame on me! I'm sorry Kearie, forgive me?

Glenn, it's good to see you posting on the board again. Personally speaking, you're like the Godfather on the board.


Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
I honestly think men and women have different friendship needs. We have more emotional connection to our friends. It's in our nature to be nurturing. Do men have "nurturing" friendship?

I don't know, could be my perception.

New, Thanks for reading my post and responding to it. I like feedback too. Makes me feel like you considered what I had to say, even if you disagreed.

Communication is understanding what each other means...not just what the words say. Part of that is listening and responding to what others say.

Thanks for responding Newman.

I don't pay attention to who agrees and disagrees
with people on the board. People do disagree with you often. Perhaps it's the way you word things. Perhaps people don't feel like you are listening to them. Who knows Newman.

I've seen most people respond to you with kindness and often you seem to misinterpret their intended kindness and support as an attack.

People will eventually quit offering you kindness.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
GLORIA!!!

Don't you live in the area too?
BB1 book...LOL That's all gone and lost and forgotten. (I can't believe you remembered I dyed my hair with blue streaks. LOL)

And I think I missed Glenn also. He always has, well, he's awesome.

Coco
Member

07-13-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 10:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Coco a private message Print Post    
LOL Kearie, you even remember my real name!! Honestly, if I knew your real name, I don't recall...and pluh-leeze don't tell me it's "Kearie"...lol!! EDIT MODE:....it's not "Kearie".....

I live in SoCal and if you'll recall, Moondance was my first meet. We went to scout out the outskirts of the CBS back lot where they had the BB house...lol. Such fun memories for me!


Marysafan
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Marysafan a private message Print Post    
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Coco is Egbok????? I missed the memo! I didn't recognize you without the teal! I've missed you!

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Of course I remembered your name.
My name is Eerie Kearie. LOL

It's Paula. LOL

I still love those TP ANGELS

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Kearie, just look on this page, posts <77> are not kind to me. I'm not misinterpreting that. You don't notice how I'm treated here because it's not YOU who are under fire. That's understandable.

Maybe it's because I'm one of the few males who write here, and men have a different way of communicating. Maybe that's why I get attacked so often? Just a theory...

Maybe I just make strong statements, offer strong opinions. But why should that be misinterpreted as "please attack me?"


Glenn
Member

07-05-2003

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Glenn a private message Print Post    
I think that is an invalid theory.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Newman, I don't think it has a lot to do with being a guy.

As you said, you make strong statements and when you make strong statements, people are more inclined to respond in a strong way.

Nothing more and nothing less.

________________________________________


Putting on my Moderator hat now, can we all get back to Baby Boomer topics please. Thanks.

Biloxibelle
Member

12-21-2001

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biloxibelle a private message Print Post    
Newman, I am sorry to hear that you were hurt that your weren't checked on by e-mail. I won't speak for everyone but here are a couple of things I have noticed.

I have connected with people on here some more then others. I do e-mail some posters. This is because we bounded over similar interests that were brought out by posting here. Some are on the level of posting on here only. I do find myself looking for certain posters and making a point of reading their posts. Some of them don't even know it because I never said anything.

As far as e-mailing someone who hasn't been around in a while. I think it depends on the circumstance. If someone I have connected with just disappears I will send them a note to check on their well being. If they say they are taking a break. I don't. I figure they need a break from all things TVCH and that includes me. If someone leaves like in the case of hurt feelings I feel I should just leave a little something in their folder, even if it is just a little flower gif or something.

I have taken little breaks myself. Mostly because RL gets overwhelming. I have found little notes in my folder asking if I'm ok.

I have also left for major reasons. That is when TVCH kicks in with full force.

One time my daughter was in critical condition in the hospital for 2 full months. The concern, well wishes, prayers offered up for us was something I had never experienced anyway on the net except here. There was even a hurricane that hit here prior to Katrina while my daughter was in the hospital. It turned to be a dud as far as hurricanes go. But posters were asking each other if someone knew which hospital my daughter was in so they could check on us.

When we had leave for Katrina, I just left a short note saying we decided to leave. I might not be posting for awhile. At that point it looked like NO was going to take the direct hit not us. By the time we got settled in the motel and hooked up the lap top the hurricane had taken a direct hit on us. There was an out pouring of posts wondering if we were ok. My mail box full of well wishes, offers of clothing, shoes, money, Who sent me her phone number to stay in touch. Then she could update TVCH. Links to where we could seek help.

Again I am sorry your feeling were hurt. I do thank you for bringing up this subject. It gave me the opportunity to say to Mocha what I should have said a week ago.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 11:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Well put Belle...

"I have connected with people on here some more then others. I do e-mail some posters. This is because we bounded over similar interests that were brought out by posting here. Some are on the level of posting on here only. I do find myself looking for certain posters and making a point of reading their posts. Some of them don't even know it because I never said anything."

Especially about seeking out certain posters. I read several peoples posts and enjoy reading what they have to say. Yet I don't let most people know. I wish these people would say more because they seem so insiteful.

Thanks to the posters who inspire me...and don't even know it. Hey, and could you post more, please.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 12:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Newman, when I first came to TVCH it was strictly for Big Brother (it was even calle the Big Brother Fan Club). I came, I posted and I left after the season. Came back the next year and found out there was more going on here and I've never left since.

But even then, I mostly stuck to the discussion topics and didn't flit around to folders leaving little flowers, didn't follow the sharing type of threads. And that was ok. I started moderating when one show, Starting Over, hit the board like, well, like a direct hit by Katrina.. and being in that thread there was lots of sharing. I then went to my first TVCH meet, was just remembering that in another thread this week.

Kearie, I was really intimidated at the very thought, and it was to be a big meeting (that meeting in Long Beach) but luckily for me, Zachsmom, who I hadn't met, asked if she could ride with me. OK.. so now I couldn't just back out without affecting her :-)

The rest is history and I've met some amazing people from TVCH.

And I also started participating in those threads that might seem sort of trivial, like the daily poll, right now.. and visiting a few folders and Mary is right, visit a few folders, not just to visit, but because in another thread you learned that you had something to say to some people, or some people needed a bit of support, visit a few folders and people visit yours.. share about yourself and people respond. And you can't always predict which person or which situation will bring a response. Sometimes you don't hear a thing back but much later find out that your comment or your little flower were much appreciated.

People also find that when they post about something, others may share the same issues or concerns.. you certainly found that out when you started this thread!

Whoami, I sure wish we lived closer! I very much enjoyed spending time with you and 'mom in Long Beach and again in Las Vegas That is the drawback, being so distant in real life, most of the time. I was watching Little People, Big World last night and Zach Roloff expressed it so well.. they go to the Little People conventions and revel in being around people with similar issues, people who "get" what being like them is all about.. I loved hearing Amy Roloff chat with other women there about their issues finding clothing that fits them, just girl talk.. and as Zach pointed out (and his friend Little Zach) that is a week a year and then they go home and rarely see another little person. And to a lesser extent, we meet people here who share common interests and if we are lucky (and make the effort) we meet in person, but it isn't that often, unless we are in the same area.

And living alone vs lonely.. I'm not lonely, but I live alone and what I tend to do is isolate myself.. I swing from being very active locally to just holing up at home.. I'm in that mode at present and it isn't good for me physically because I'm not doing any exercise. I need to break out of that soon. I have one friend who does the same thing and we try to nudge each other at least to meet for lunch.

Biloxi, I agree, that TVCH is good at caring and I well remember when we were worrying about those who might be in the path of any of the storms and what a relief it is when we hear from them or they have contacted someone who can report that they are ok.

Of course first we have to know enough about them to know they may be involved (lol, your name is a huge clue, huh? Even user names can tell us about people, sometimes)

Who, you are one of those people who care, and take the time to investigate, or, as you did, offer a phone number.. I've always appreciated you so much!

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 2:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Seamonkey, Im sorta like you, I live alone and tend to isolate myself as well, but when I leave my house you would never know...Im a chatter box, I love to talk to everyone, I go to the gym every day and have lots of great interactions with the folks there, but I dont take them home with me, I dont want to take them home.. at the park,store,any where I go I will usually strike up a conversation with someone that I will probably never see again, but for that moment I will enjoy every min of that time. I make cookies for my trash guy, mailman/lady, mechanic, vet, the nieborhood kids, somtimes I make a big batch and just go to the park and give them to the homeless folks sitten around with thier dogs and backpacks - They dont scare me, that kinda interaction gives me a charge. BUT, the thought of inviting someone into my little sanctuary, my little safe world..thats a whole nether thing - Some people can not live with out people around them all the time - cant function alone. Some people cant function with them around all the time - the energy to entertain the thought of someone coming into my little world exhausts me. I panic for days if I know that even family members are going to pop in, thankfully they all live at least a days drive away, so it dosent happen very often... and by now they all know that im not open to the idea of pop-ins so they dont do it eather. Great friends are far and few and often hard to find. Newman said that he worried about "what if his lunch buddie were to die" or somthing, My best friend did die and ill be damned if I can find a replacement. Its hard to find someone that you can just be your self with.. As far as you leaving this thread for a while Newman, I did think of you and wanted to write to see how you were, but I wrote you last, you didnt reply...so maybe I was hurt. You are not the only one that was feeling that way. Mocha, Im not a folder person, other people keep mine alive but im horrible at it, but I was deeply saddened by all the events that might have caused you and a few others to leave the board...but I knew it would only be for a while, that you needed to take a break..I do that alot. I feel like so many of you here are my friends and I look daily to the folks here to make me laugh, teach me stuff, share recipes, gripes, and sorrows... life is hard somtimes, But with every one here I feel like ive got family around every day...

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, December 03, 2006 - 2:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
loneliness is an odd thing. it creeps upon you when you least expect it sometimes.

this afternoon dh left to go to out of town for school for the week. he will be back Friday evening. he is only 2 hours away. we will email each other and talk throughout the day via cell phone when he has breaks from class.

when he started out the door i felt the pangs of loneliness. i don't know why. maybe because we have been talking about it in this thread. maybe it's because it is a drizzly gray day here whereas yesterday was sunny and bright. i'm about over it now though. i rarely have any 'me' time. so, i am certain i will be fine for the remainder of the week.