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Archive through October 30, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Jan. 2007 ~ Mar. 2007: Free Expression...: Advice Please... (ARCHIVES): Archive through October 30, 2006 users admin

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Graceunderfyre
Member

01-22-2004

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 8:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Graceunderfyre a private message Print Post    
Ok, so here's the deal. I have this "friend" from Church - basically I have a hard time at our Church because I have absolutely NOTHING in common with most people there and she's one of the few that I seem to always end up being with at events. She is a realtor and pretty much forced herself on us when we were looking for a house. She's nice at heart, but I just don't like her tactics. She's very forceful to get her way and then gets offended if you don't agree with her. Ok, so we've clashed a bit over the past few years, but normally, given time, we end up being friends again. I need some advice on how to handle her with something I found out she did.

She's been aggressively trying to pick up more clients in my town house development. So she decided to buy a year's worth of ads in our newsletter that goes out about once every other month. There's been some problems with the board and some resignations and new people on board which caused the last one came out in April and then they keep having to wait to get the next one approved. She asks me every other week or so if the next issue has come out because she's had some problems getting in touch with the gal who does the newsletter and I keep saying I need to get in touch with this lady too because I want to volunteer to help out.

Now I don't know how other associations are (this is our first experience with one) but our board is VERY clicky and they basically all live on one block of the development. About a week ago, my friend told me she chewed out the girl who does the newsletter. She said things like people don't even read it because it's all fluff and it's inconsistent and a bunch of other stuff like that to the editor. I just kept quiet when she told me this story and thought, poor editor. From what I hear the woman replied to my friend, "I guess that makes me upset to hear since I write all the articles." I really felt bad for the woman.

Then over the weekend, I found out that my friend gave the editor my name, number and email and told her I would gladly take over the newsletter and would actually get it done. My jaw dropped when I heard it and I was speechless. I would NEVER tell someone that to their face - what right does she have to tell them for me? And she's not the one who has to live here so she's not the one who has to deal with it later. . . So now what am I supposed to do? It WAS my goal to take over the newsletter because the gal who does it does do a horrible job and it's been said at a few meetings that she's super busy and doesn't have the time to devote to it. But now I feel like I can't even try to do a subtle take over (as was my plan) because people will be suspcious - not to mention the fact that last week we got a letter from the association saying that we need to take better care of our lawn (it was total BS) and so now I feel like we are on a hit list.

What do you think I should do with 1. the association/editor of our newsletter 2. my friend?

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 8:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
1. Tactfully explain that that person is not your friend, that they don't speak for you and that you don't mind helping out if needed but have no intention of taking over anything.

2. Kiss that so called 'friend' good-bye ASAP.

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-22-2004

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 9:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Graceunderfyre a private message Print Post    
oh I wish I could do 2 but I think we're stuck with her for a while.... tho she "popped in" unannounced last night and told us that our church is going to merge with another in the next year so it may be our out to leaving and finding a new church and then we could be rid of her. . . :-)

so you don't think I should say anything to her?

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 9:07 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
You could tell her that you were a bit upset that she offered your services without talking to you about it first. You have a full plate and although you'd like to help out, you never said that you would do it yourself and you certainly can speak for yourself if you wanted to do it. Just tell her that next time, please don't speak for me.

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-22-2004

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 9:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Graceunderfyre a private message Print Post    
yeah I just don't think she'll get it - she'll probably be offended that I wasn't happy she stuck up for me or something crazy like that. Last night she kept bugging us about calling in on the home warranty to get our ac fixed and acting like we are crazy because we haven't been able to schedule getting it fixed - but they are busy and you have to wait 2 weeks and I've been traveling a lot this summer so nobody's ever home when they are available. . .besides it's not that bad at night - just the afternoon so I get to go shopping :-)

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 9:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I agree with Mamie, and that may be just the way to get rid of her. I also would do what Cndeariso suggested, and be tell the girl who does the newsletter that while you are glad to help out, you never told your "friend" you wanted to take over.

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-22-2004

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 9:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Graceunderfyre a private message Print Post    
thanks guys :-)

Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 10:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
Good advice here. I would tell the church lady, though -- in a nice way -- that while you appreciate her confidence in you, you would really prefer to speak for yourself in these kinds of matters.

As for the home warranty stuff, simply smile and say, "We'll get to it when we can, dear." Then, if possible, walk away. It's really none of her business if you choose to bake in your condo! :-)

And finally, while it's nice that you worry the woman will be offended if you politely tell her to butt out of your business, it's more important that you stand up for yourself. Chances are, she's going to get her feelings hurt one way or another at some point, whether you mean for that to happen or not. She's living in her own world. :-) Be polite, be caring, be nice, but stand up for yourself. If she can't handle that, it's her issue, not yours.

I agree that talking with the lady who does the newsletter and saying that you'd be happy to help out but that the church gal does not in any way represent you or your opinions on things is the right way to go. :-)

Tater
Member

03-19-2003

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 - 12:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tater a private message Print Post    
Maybe I wouldn't be as tactful as some. I would, in a Stern tone, admonish this person. Tell her you do not appreciate your private information be handed out so freely. Since this woman is supposedly a professional, ask her for a letter explaining that she was incorrectly presumptive as to your business intentions with the co op news letter. Then send a copy to the newsletter staff.

Good luck! I know exactly the type of person you are dealing with. Not fun at all!


Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Thursday, August 03, 2006 - 2:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
love what Max said!

Vee
Member

02-23-2004

Thursday, August 03, 2006 - 7:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vee a private message Print Post    
She sounds like a winner, Gracie! I would ask a few questions for starters: Did you speak to the editor and tell her that I would be taking over? Why did you do that? What allows you to believe that you should speak for me instead of my speaking for myself? That kind of thing...you'll get more information and she'll get the point rather quickly if she's a normal human being. She may not be, though.

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-22-2004

Monday, August 07, 2006 - 9:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Graceunderfyre a private message Print Post    
:-) you guys are great. Thanks! I'm in VA right now and I'd rather talk to her about this than email so as soon as I get back to IL, I am going to talk to her about this :-) I'll let you know how it turns out.

Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 8:01 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Native_texan a private message Print Post    
Okay, I know I can count on you guys to help me out.

Travis and I are going to San Diego in April when his half-brother's ship (well, the ship is not really his, but the U.S. Navy allows him to have a bunk) leaves for its 6-month deployment. Anyways, I am trying to find a hotel and have reached the point where I have done so much looking that I'm about ready to take a tent. I can't believe the differing opinions people will give regarding one hotel. One person thinks it sucks while another person thinks it's the best around. And we're talking the really expensive hotels also.

Now, finally, to my request. Does anyone have suggestions for a hotel in San Diego in April, preferably roundabouts the north end of the bay. I would like to stay as close to the water as possible. I can't afford the Coronado (wish that I could) but I can do better than Motel 6.

I did find one possiblity at a Best Western on Pacific Beach. Any hints on that area and its proximity to North Island.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Urgrace
Member

08-19-2000

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 8:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Urgrace a private message Print Post    
I can't believe the differing opinions people will give regarding one hotel. One person thinks it sucks while another person thinks it's the best around.

Sadly, when a hotel has had bad press/comments online they will have employees make posts saying they were a guest and how wonderful the hotel is in order to counter the bad press.

Good luck with asking the members here. It will get you much better & more accurate information.

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 8:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
NT...Hi ... we were down there over Labor Day weekend, we stayed at the Sheraton. It was nice. I'm not sure which end of the bay it was on (I don't do North, South, East, West well...was absent that day). Any way...we had a view of the water.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 9:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I had to go to San Diego for work and stayed in Carlsbad, which was really close. THere were 4 really affordable hotels very close to each other. Maybe Comfort Inn or something was one of them. Way cheaper than San Diego hotels.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 9:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
NT, we took the kids to SD one spring break and stayed at a Best Western on the beach sort of right before La Jolla. It was definitely not fancy, but very convenient to anything. Had a heated pool and even a little kitchenette in the room. It was definitely a pretty good deal too.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 10:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
It was this one. BW Blue Sea Lodge

Blue Sea Lodge

there is also one in La Jolla that is amazingly less. The price looks a little higher on the one we stayed at, but that was 6 years ago.

<fixed link ~77>

Dipo
Member

04-23-2002

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 - 10:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dipo a private message Print Post    
NT have you tried the Embassy Suites in downtown? i don't know how expensive they are but it is nice, stayed there for conferences, and I think it is by a ferry that goes to Coronado plus, if you have a car the highway to the bridge is right there. It is by seaport village, so close to the bay!!

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 - 5:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
NT, I found a great deal on a San Diego hotel if they would have any dates left that would work for you.

These Top 20 deals really do sell out fast, so you would have to be able to decide, book it, and probably pay for it RIGHT NOW. And I mean like by sundown today.

http://hotels.travelzoo.com/california-hotels/259852

Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 - 5:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Native_texan a private message Print Post    
Thank you everyone for your tip. Please keep them coming.

Texannie, Blue Sea Lodge is on my list.

Abby7
Member

07-17-2002

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 - 9:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Abby7 a private message Print Post    
native, did you check out juju's link? if juju finds a bargain, i would go with it. i don't think you can do better than a tip/link from juju. (i'm still kicking myself over not getting a computer she recommended.)

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 - 10:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
LOL, Abby7! But you are right, I do know a bargain when I see one. NT posted in my folder that she was too late to get one of the rooms I posted. I get the weekly www.travelzoo.com Top 20, and they have some super bargains on there sometimes. The down side is you have to be able to make a (usually irreversible) decision very quickly, like in hours, or the deals will be gone. If you make a bad quick decision, like you can't get time off work or something, you could be stuck with it.

Tera
Member

08-10-2000

Monday, October 30, 2006 - 9:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tera a private message Print Post    
I need some advice please. I am just about at my wits end. I will try to summarize.

Last June I moved into my new house and got a new phone number. Almost immediately I started receiving calls from bill collectors for the person(s) that had this number before me.

At first I ignored them thinking they would go away. Didn't happen. It is amazing the amount of different creditors that call my number. I get sometimes 2 -3 calls a day.

I think I have had a little success with the ones that there is actually a real person on the other end. Most of the time they understand my situation and say they will clear my number out of their system. Some people I just cannot get to understand, or they act like they don't understand.

The automated calls are the worst. They are the ones that call and say "call back this number to discuss your account". I have started calling the number back to try to explain what is going on. There are some that I cannot even get to a human without an account number!

I know one solution would be to change my number. I hate to do that because all the important people I know have my new number. And how would I actually get a "clean" number. No one knows.

My biggest problem is trying to get some of these people to understand that they are calling the wrong number. I think I am being clear in what I am saying. So many times I get "do you know when they will be home?" or "can you give me their new number?" AAhhhh.

What words would you say to clearly get the message through that they need to remove my number from their system permanently?

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Monday, October 30, 2006 - 10:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Tera ... I used to work for a collections agency. If they are not believing that you are not this person ask them to contact you only by mail. It's called "cease and desist". If you ask them to contact you by mail only, they have to abide by your request. Then when something comes in the mail for "Joe Blow" you can return to sender and hopefully they can find him another way.

Hope this helps!!