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Archive through June 26, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: Jan. 2007 ~ Mar. 2007: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits...: ARCHIVES: Archive through June 26, 2006 users admin

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Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 8:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
If you don't enjoy dating, but you want to be with someone as a couple, married I assume? Maybe try a professional matchmaker where the purpose of the whole effort IS marriage. Of course you'd have to meet and interact (date?) but it might cut through the people who simply want to date.

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 4:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
I won't try online dating just for that reason... I absolutely hate first dates and it sometimes takes a lot of them to find a good match. My college roommate, on the other hand, decided when she turned 40 she was ready for another relationship and didn't know any prospects (she lived in a small town), so she signed up with several services. She loves first dates. She sometimes went out with three different guys in a week and enjoyed every minute of it. She ultimately met her husband online. So it definitely can work out if you are willing to put in all that first dating time.

I have come to terms with the fact that there is an only small subset of available men that I would like to be in a relationship with, and I guess maybe I am just waiting for one of these to materialize and make it all easy. (Poof!) I understand, though, that odds of that happening are slim and get slimmer every year as the subset of available men gets smaller and smaller. For right now I am still willing to wait, but at some point I may change my mind. There's always that nagging question "I am pretty darn happy single...will a fulltime relationship change that?" I don't think it will, hopefully I would pick well and it would enhance my life, but I also know that relationships are hard work.

I saw an acquaintance at the gym the other morning and she made her way over to me, jumped on the treadmill next to me and said "I have a guy I want you to meet. I think you would be good together." I have sworn off blind dates due to past experiences (most made me wonder if my friends knew me at all), but the fact that I don't know her well and she said that intrigued me. What makes her think that? Just that we are both available? And there's another question... she is single....why doesn't she want him? The funny thing to me is that he lives in another state...just the one next door, but still a couple of hours away minimum. Why would you try to set people up who live in different states? And this isn't the first time someone has tried to do that to me. Guess they feel the local boys aren't saving me from spinsterhood (I love that word, Huk), so let's ship 'em in. Maybe next they will go international....stay tuned.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Saturday, June 24, 2006 - 6:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Betcha the local gardening club would be chock full of women, some married, some not, but at least they might know their way around a randy trumpet vine. ... by the third date, anyway ...



Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 5:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
There's that famous phrase that I recall seeing framed on my ex Mother in Law's wall: "God, grant me the ___________ to change the things I can, accept the things I can't change, and to know the difference."

At age 56 I have got to know myself by now. I'm not a dater. I'm basically shy until I get to know someone. I like to write, but so what? I need that physical spark in a relationship. Can you get that from a picture on the internet? Maybe...LOL.

Arrgghhhhh. Nothing works. What is so hard with accepting living alone? I have some image stuck in my head that I have to be in love and living with her in order to be happy. Who's happy? Do you know anyone who is really HAPPY? Do you know any couple who is "happy"? What's wrong with just being content?

I'm just going thru the Peggy Lee syndrome: is that all there is???


Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 6:01 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Native_texan a private message Print Post    
Newman, that would be "serenity."

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 6:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
"...a randy trumpet vine..."

Great idea, Juju2bigdog. Lets discuss gardening!
How about posting some pictures of beautiful flowers?

I'll start off with one of my favorites



Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 7:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Newman, did you catch the subliminal message in the flower picture? Well, perhaps subliminal is the wrong term. Newman, did you notice what is holding the flower?

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 7:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
lol Dogdoc

Gardening is a great hobby and you can just spend as much time as you want working in your garden.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
It's a solo hobby. I have plenty of solo hobbies.

That doesn't look like a Greyhound to me, Dogdoc.

But I get the non-subliminal message <smiling>


Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
But look at the big picture. Gardening could be a way to meet some nice people in your neighborhood, at the nursery, or even a gardening club. Wonder what the ratio would be for males v. females at a gardening club?

This reminds me of the scene in American President when the President remembers that he has a Rose Garden and finally gives his intended some flowers. Great scene and great movie.


Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
gh

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Cnd, how did you find that!! How great!! Racer in his own back yard!!

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
with flowers

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
just did a quick search on google images using the phrase 'greyhound with flowers'. <grin>

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Do you think we are being pushy?

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Nah I just think yall are beating a dead horse. :-)

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 8:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
Mocha is correct - as always

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 9:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
Newman I know you said your not handy, but Ive met lots of nice men in the Handyman section of the newspaper.. If I need somthing done that I physicaly cant do myself..I look someone up. Ive met some great guys this way and somtimes just having someone working in your yard all day kinda takes the edge off, offer them lunch,water..maybe take a break and chat abit..who knows where it might go. Maybe you could hire a interior designer for your house. Dont hire her till you see shes single and what you are looking for. Does your place need new curtains,hire a seamstress to come measure your windows and pick fabric. For you, maybe hanging out in nurserys,(study up on gardening)(you like to learn right) when you see someone intresting looking at plants just approach her and ask her some plant questions.. (its kinda the same with a dog- a commen intrest draws in conversation) If shes married "oh well,nothing lost nothing gained...just practice comunitcating" Lots of women hang out in nurserys..Lots of women need help planting,digging holes, Do you have a truck? thats allways helpfull. Heck I dont know...just thoughts running in my head... "Get the dog" girls will be flocking to it saying "oh,how cute-whats its name?" and then eventually look up and start talking to you...I think its perfect...

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
I guess we all look at life very differently.

I am wondering how it is that I at 57, in very bad physical shape, in a wheelchair and homebound can not only be content but happy, too!

And I know I could meet guys without too much of a problem if I really and truly wanted to meet them. That would take some effort on my part and may require me to stretch myself a bit. But, if that is what I wanted at this point in my life, I could definitely accomplish it!

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
Bird watching can be a fun hobby for a baby boomer as well. When you are starting out, you just get your pair of whatever stinko kind of binoculars you already have and look for the weekend activities in the newspaper and join up with a group of bird watchers going on an outing. They are often mostly women.

Here is my latest thrilling birdwatching experience:

6-23-06 We got a new life bird this morning!

(We took an overnight trip to Olympic National Park on the Washington state Olympic peninsula.)

We had never been to the Sol Duc (also called Soleduck) hot springs, so we decided to go there this morning. I had read that there is a one mile trail to a pretty cool waterfall. So we arrived there at nine, temps still in the 40's, and hiked the mile to the waterfall.

The waterfall was not all that thrilling. We have a better one closer to us on the mainland on the way to Mt. Baker. However, while at the waterfall, I noticed a couple birds on a big rock out in the roaring stream above the waterfall. One of the birds was staring intently into the rushing water, and the other one was sort of bobbing up and down on the rock. Bigdog figured it for a juvenile and its mother. We didn't think we would need to take our bird books on the hike! Ack!

So we memorized the birds as best we could, and Bigdog used his Canon S2 12x optical zoom digital camera, then used the 4x digital zoom to enhance that to 48x, and got a couple pictures. And then a third bird arrived. Just before the third bird joined the others, he landed IN the rushing water, albeit on a shallow rock. Then he joined the other two, and they all three flew off.

Now, what kind of bird hangs out around a rushing mountain stream, staring intently into the water and even going into the water. And what kind of the same bird dips up and down like that?

And then I thought, well, what if the American dipper is called that not because he dips in and out of the water, but because of the way he dips up and down? Maybe these were American dippers. But the only thing I could ever remember reading about American dippers was when I was in some park, and it said you were extremely unlikely to ever see one.

So we get back to the car and I looked up American dipper, and there was the bird! Hangs out around rushing mountain streams and waterfalls in the northwest.

Very cool.


Glenn
Member

07-05-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:00 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Glenn a private message Print Post    
Whoops, I almost cancelled this post thinking I had put it in the animal thread. Very cool Juju.

Newman, you are like that ancient Timex commercial. You can take a beating and keep on ticking. Kudos to you.

Think about what you said about yourself, that you are shy until you get to know someone, and you like to write. Why not consider using the writing to get to know someone. Let the need for the physical spark take a break for a while and see what interests you in the other person that makes you want to be friends with them. See if you can find someone you just like to talk to or in this case write to in the beginning. Look outside the city you live in, state, or even country.

It may put a whole new spin on things if you do not start out thinking of the other person as a possible partner but someone you may enjoy getting to know. It seems to me that there is an unpublished law of nature that you only find what you want when you are not looking for it. Only when you are okay with things as they are and truly accept that thought, will the opportunity that you had been looking for present itself.

The hardest thing for me to give up was how I wanted the other person to appear visually. It took several years and a few hard lessons that I should let this visual appearance desire go and find people that I liked for who they were. One of the worst things I did was not listen to my gut instinct when my decisions were made on visual appearance. When instinct would tell me that this person was not going to be good news in the long run, I would end up overruling that instinct and still continue on. Bad choice on my part, because the instinct was always correct.

The worst thing that could happen is that you continue to live alone but you could end up with a lot of female friends all over the country. The best thing that could happen would be you discovered someone you have mental sparks with, turns out to also set off your physical spark.

I seem to remember a few tvcher’s expressing some interest in you. Why not try to see if you have anything in common and could have a friendship.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 12:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
LOL, I was just thinking that I hope Newman dosent think im suggesting he start looking for a handyman...that might be a stretch.. the other stuff though - might be good.. And Glen is right..there are people here that like and miss you when your gone... some might not admit it..but this thread def dies when your not in it.. Listen to Glen..

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 4:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
I thought the handyman idea was an excellent idea, Chewpito. :-)

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 4:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
I say appreciate the life you have alone, but also keep your eyes open to other possibilities. I can tell you really miss having a girlfriend, Newman. Just stay open to it and keep doing the kind of things you have been doing (things that interest you) that put you out there with people. If I thought I would never have another relationship and had to reconcile to that fact, I can't imagine how bad I would feel. I want one and I'd love it now! But still I can't build my life around waiting for them to turn up....I've had friends lose years of their lives doing that and they were miserable. The reality is that if noone ever comes along, I still have a pretty good life.

I know I also have to keep myself open to a new relationship, though, and make sure I am not doing things to make people think I am not interested. I tend to be shy when it comes to guys, but noone believes it because I have taught myself to be so outgoing in most situations that few people recognize that side of me. I think I have told you before that my close friends started calling me on the fact that I have a tendancy to run in the other direction if a guy is interested in me and I hadn't even noticed it in myself. It was pure fear in action, I guess! I'm trying to work on that, but it is so hard for me. In some ways it is probably very funny. I get very paranoid. For example, I was in the grocery store the other week looking at produce. I tend to smile and say hi to everyone I make eye contact with, and forget sometimes that guys take that as flirting. So I absent mindedly smiled and said hi to a guy and then he smiled and spoke back to me and then all of a sudden I said to myself "Does he think I am flirting with him?" and a wave of embarrassment passed over me. I still don't know how I should have handled that! My actual response was my typical, I turned my cart away and almost ran to the other side of the produce department! I want to stop that. I think life could be far more interesting without the hasty retreats. And if nothing else, I would at least be braver.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Monday, June 26, 2006 - 10:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
We definitely take it as flirting, Yes. What's wrong with flirting? Be brave, Yes. Flirt and stay. Something might happen.

Chewpito, I WAS wondering if you were trying to set me up with a gay handyman. I may be a liberal, but I'm not "that" liberal.

Glenn, not sure what you're saying. Trust your gut. Your gut instinct says you like physically attractive women. Me too. But now you are "settling"? Letting that desire go? So, you are saying "don't trust your gut anymore?"

Physically fit women are important to me. I don't want to hook up with someone who is 40 pounds overweight. I think I'm a 7 and I want to find someone who's about a 7 on the 1 to 10 scale. Looks matter. I don't think that's shallow. I think that's being honest.

It's what's inside a person that counts. True. But if that person isn't interested in taking care of herself, her body, well ...