TVCH FORUMS HOME . JOIN . FAN CLUBS . DONATE . CONTACT . CHAT  
 Wikia  Quick Links   TOPICS . TREE-VIEW . SEARCH . HELP! . NEWS . PROFILE
Archive through June 25, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2006 Jun. ~ 2006 Dec.: Free Expressions (ARCHIVES): Manners/etiquette/what would ya do/etc: Archive through June 25, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 9:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
(note to self, send Texannie a $1.00 as a wedding gift).

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:07 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!! 23 years too late!

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
it really must be regional because i have never seen a money tree, money box or cash given at any of the weddings. part of the reception is spent watching the couple open all of the presents. in fact, i would be kinda insulted if someone gave me hard cold cash unless i specified that was what i wanted.

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
How about in 2 years, we throw you a "New York" style anniversary party then, Tex? If every TVCHer sent you a buck, whoo-hoo!!


Meme9
Member

07-30-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Meme9 a private message Print Post    
Thanks, I get all teary just thinking of their 'completely over the top' generousity, and kindness. Ok, I didn't mean to make this a thread all about me... let's move on. lol

Wedding gifts here are usually a third gift, two thirds cards with cash. It up to the guest.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
Here, I'd say it is about 98% cash. Very few gifts. Guess maybe cuz they get gifts at the shower. And up here, they would never open the gifts at the reception. Strange how customs differ regionally.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
business manners question please:

i have 3 managers that work for me. two of them buy their staff either lunch or a cake for their birthday. the whole office is invited to attend the lunches - dutch treat of course and partake of the cake. the third, who by the way makes more money than i do, is so cheap he squeaks and doesn't do anything for his staff. we have had supervisors' meetings where this was discussed and he said he didn't think he should be forced to buy his staff anything. i can't make him do it but i feel sorry for his staff being left out when the rest of the office celebrates. any suggestions other than having my boss or i pick up the tab or a birthday fund?

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Herckleperckle a private message Print Post    
You never know, Cnd, he could be up to his ears in debt. Figure out how much the cakes cost per year and put it in the budget for the whole crew.

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
At the animal hospital we take turns making cakes for each other's birthdays. The person who makes the cake buys the card. If somebody does not have time to make a cake they can buy one at their own expense. Actually, I make a pecan pie when it is my turn. (I have never seen the bride and groom open gifts at the wedding reception).

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:45 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i work for the government, we cannot pay for things like that out of our budget. thanks for the suggestion though, herck.

i have 25 employees. they don't like each other enough for that to happen, dogdoc. i can't make it a rule. it is my understanding they tried it before and folks got their feelings hurt when someone got a 'better' cake than the one before.

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Herckleperckle a private message Print Post    
Well, we only had 5 people in our department. We tried all kinds of things. One year, the birthday gal brought in her OWN cake to share. Another year, we did what Dogdoc suggested. You could try the former. That way no one could get her feelings hurt! The only other thing I can think of is to ask for a donation to the birthday pool at the end or beginning of each year--figuring out in advance what it would cost each group.

Oh, and ice cream cakes were all the rage--ordered from a woman who would deliver them to the office at the appropriate time. (But we did have fridges with freezers, too.)

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
If everyone goes dutch treat to lunch, what is the expense to the boss? The cake?

I have NEVER been to a wedding where the bride and groom opened presents. Actually, very rarely are the presents even brought to the wedding.

Huk'd, I like the way you think! LOL

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 10:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Herckleperckle a private message Print Post    
Yeah, but that could add up to 8 x $15 = $120 per year.

Women understand this stuff. Men rarely do, IMO. (I could see my dh balking, for example.)

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
the supervisor pays for the cake OR the lunch whichever is done. both are not done for each person - just one or the other.

these folks will NOT do a birthday collection because they don't like each other enough to help pay for certain ones birthdays. and, not everyone will participate for it.
------
all the weddings i go to there are always lots and lots of presents. not all open presents at the reception - just some.

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Herckleperckle a private message Print Post    
What a b0itchy bunch! Then you should make the rule that IF the birthday gal wants to celebrate, she brings her own cake creation to share. (Lunch would then be ordered, paid for and attended by only those participating.)

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
there are only 5 men in the entire department of 27 total. two of them are supervisors. it is one of them that is making his staff suffer and feel left out. he has 5 staff. they are always questioning me as to why they are left out and i always refer them back to him. i cannot MAKE him do anything of the sort as it is not job related. it is a voluntary thing. he has been this way for the 20 years he has been there. it's not something new.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i cannot make any rules about this, herck. we are the government, we cannot do a lot of things that private industry does. these folks will sue in a heartbeat.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
oh, and i should at that he is thrilled to death when i, as his supervisor, either bring a cake or treat him to lunch for his birthday. and, he has no problem scarfing up everyone else's cake.

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 11:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Herckleperckle a private message Print Post    
That's a toughy, alright. He's a Joerk. (Trying not to make the mods mad.) This guy needs a lesson in reality. Don't bring him a cake anymore, Cnd!!! Since he is aware of the dissension this causes, explain to him that YOU will pay for and bring in the cakes for his crew, but out of fairness, will not be inviting him to join in the festivities since he has no interest in supporting this particular morale-booster.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 12:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
can't do that either, herck. i work for the government & these people sue for discrimination in a heartbeat. thanks for the suggestions though.

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 12:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Zachsmom a private message Print Post    
I say keep the bosses out of it and have the workers take care of everything.

I worked with 10 men and they never did anything for b-days. I had a list of everyones b-day, and I made the cake, bought/made the card and picked up a gift and balloons. I had everyone sign the card and they would chip in a 5 to 10 dollars. As a group we would decide to go out to lunch. We would pay our own way and then chip in for the b-day persons lunch. Never was a problem as I worked with professionals.

Sometimes the CEO of the company came with us and he picked up the tab for lunch. We always went somewhere special when the CEO was invited (and we would pray he would show!!!)

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 2:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i work with professionals also - accountants, some CPA's. apparently, this 'culture' has been in place for some time. i have only been there 2-1/2 years and have been trying to bring the different sections of the department together as a whole.

that would be a great idea, ZM, if they would do that. but, they would for a certain few and not for any of the others. there is a lot of history in this department and it's not good. and, i can guarantee they won't chip in even $5 for a birthday when you can barely get them to chip in $2 or $3 if someone dies, retires or anything like that.

oh, well, it was just a thought. i was hoping someone would come up with something that i hadn't already tried myself.

thanks.

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 3:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
I worked for the gov. too, and yeah, people were tight. We had fairly small teams, like six or seven. When I was the supervisor, we would go out to lunch, and I would buy the birthday person's lunch, and everybody else would buy their own lunch. When I was not the supervisor, I would collect a few dollars from each person and buy a cake on my way in to work.

Bubbakitty
Member

01-29-2005

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 3:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Bubbakitty a private message Print Post    
A wedding invitation carries with it an obligation to send a gift, even if you cannot attend the actual wedding.

BULL HOCKEY! I am not obligated to send just anybody who sends me a wedding invitation a damned thing! I've gotten wedding invitations from people that I barely knew years ago, let alone now. I give gifts to those I attend, or those I would attend if I could. I give from the heart, not the pocket book. I try to give something that will mean something to the couple, or the one that I know. I don't think I've ever spent more than $35 on a gift, and I've always gotten handwritten, gift specific thank you notes. I once received an invitation to the reception only and on the invitation stated "Boy & Girl request no gifts but will have a money basket for well needed $$$. Please bring 2 bottles of your favorite drink in order to be admitted into the reception." No gifts, no money, no bottles, no attendance by me!

Cndeariso maybe it should be a policy that you just don't celebrate birthdays, or celebrate on a monthly schedule. One celebration a month for everybody who's birthday falls in that month. Our boss would take everybody whose birthday fell in that month out for lunch, then later that day all would gather for cake in the breakroom. No cards, no gifts, no nothing. If employees want to give a card on a person's actual birthday, they can do it on their own.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Sunday, June 25, 2006 - 3:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
who said this: A wedding invitation carries with it an obligation to send a gift, even if you cannot attend the actual wedding. ???

i must have missed it or forgotten it. an invitation is only a way of getting a head count in my opinion and letting the person know you would like them to join in the celebration.

i guess we will not come to a consensus on this one. LOL

-------

we tried the once a month celebrate all birthdays thing too but groups of folks would still do something special for only certain ones in the office. i just don't see a win-win situation. with over 1,600 employees, we can't have a no birthday rule in just our department.