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Thanksgiving and all related stuffing

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2006 Jun. ~ 2006 Dec.: Free Expressions (ARCHIVES): Thanksgiving and all related stuffing users admin

Author Message
Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Sunday, November 19, 2006 - 5:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you
in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms Stewart won't be coming, I've
made a few small changes:

1. Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of
flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

2. Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated
with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make.
Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them
track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

3. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china,
or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone
will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the
plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

4. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I
promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration
hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is
a turkey.

5. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while
you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have
made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please
remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

6. We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the
start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method.
We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke
alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the
spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table ...
in a separate room ... next door.

7. Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in
front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at
our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private
ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It
stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

8. I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that
"passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your
sister in the head with warm tasty bread.

9. Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and
especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the
giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner
questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead
ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.

10. Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice
among 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional
pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will
still have a choice; take it or leave it.

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Sunday, November 19, 2006 - 12:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
ROFL HUK, THAT IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!!!!

Dlmmo
Member

11-20-2003

Sunday, November 19, 2006 - 1:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dlmmo a private message Print Post    
That was very funny! I just sent it out to my email list.

Chiliwilli
Member

09-04-2006

Monday, November 20, 2006 - 12:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chiliwilli a private message Print Post    


Sounds like we're eating at the same house, Hukd.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Monday, November 20, 2006 - 5:12 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
that was so funny! thanks for sharing it, huk.

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Monday, November 20, 2006 - 9:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
What a great start to my day,..with a smile. Thanks.

Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 - 2:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    


Hukdonreality
Member

09-29-2003

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 - 2:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hukdonreality a private message Print Post    


Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 - 3:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
a

Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 - 8:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    


Mameblanche
Member

08-24-2002

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 - 8:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    


Needmylifeback
Member

08-14-2000

Thursday, November 23, 2006 - 5:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Needmylifeback a private message Print Post    
Did you all watch the Macy's Parade????


My son was in the Catalina Foothills Marching Band from Tucson Arizona! .... I am just sorry that it rained! I bet their feet were freezing! (And he is planning on wearing his marching shoes tomorrow because they can't wear tennis shoes to the NY Phil... Hope they dry overnight!)

Dlmmo
Member

11-20-2003

Friday, November 24, 2006 - 10:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dlmmo a private message Print Post    
I missed the parade, darn! I am a band geek from high school, actually I was in the Color Guard. I have many great memories of the travel and wet feet. One time we did the Portland Rose festival Parade and I carried the banner with 2" high shoes that didn't fit well. After 7 miles I peeled the nylons off my bloody blisters. I couldn't were shoes with backs for a week after. Did I quit, NO WAY, lol.

Chiliwilli
Member

09-04-2006

Friday, November 24, 2006 - 11:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chiliwilli a private message Print Post