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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 1:19 pm
I am lacking the patience quality right now...where is the next segment ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, June 21, 2006 - 6:51 am
In that instance, maybe even subconsciously, I took that anger. I accepted it. I let it become a part of who I was. It burned me deep inside. It seared off my emotions and hardened me. I was angry with Molly for dying, angry with myself for feeling responsible and knowing I wasn’t. I had watched them drive away two of my very closest friends in an ambulance for no good reason. They didn’t go down in a blaze of glory. No. They were scattered across the highway like leaves in the fall. I didn’t even know how long they had been there, but I had driven right past in my hurry to not break curfew. They might have been there when I drove past, and I didn’t even see them. Did I drive right past the scene of this horrific event and not even notice the tree or glass? Did they die upon impact? Did they die after going through the windshield and being thrown from the vehicle? Or, is it possible that they lay there, alive, waiting for someone to come by and help them? Save them? Could I have saved them if I would have left sooner, if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own pleasure trip? I had to find out. I had to know. “I need to find an officer or something. I have questions.” I said determined to assuage the searing pain in my gut. Jeremy followed behind me, saying something, but I couldn’t or wouldn’t listen. “Officer!” I yelled, running over to a thinly built police officer in his mid forties, “Sir, can you tell me if they died on impact, or what?” He looked at me, puzzled at my strange request. “Young lady, I can give out no information. We are still trying to locate the next of kin for the girl. You wouldn’t happen to know who that is, would you?” My heart sank. Molly’s mom didn’t know. Molly’s mom, who was probably at work, crunching numbers, pushing paper, had no idea that her only child was on her way to the morgue. Just the thought of the word morgue made me sick. I hurried away from the officer and wretched into the bushes on the side of the road. All the blood in my body rushed to my head. Dizziness set in, and I began to waiver before I felt two strong hands on my shoulders, steadying me enough that I didn’t fall. The faintness didn’t subside, and my mind felt cloudy and then everything went clear, and crisp an dark.
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Shashakaye
Member
05-19-2003
| Thursday, June 22, 2006 - 4:36 pm
Where are you, Escapee?
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, June 26, 2006 - 6:45 am
My eyelids felt like they weighed ten pounds a piece as I tried to wake myself up. I could feel tears behind them, cool, as though I had been crying in my sleep. I fluttered myself awake, my mind hazy, and my body numb. “Hey, you’re awake.” My mom said in a half whisper. “I am going to fix you some food.” I was in my living room, lying on my couch. My first thought, hope, and prayer was that the morning that had preceded had all been a horrible dream. Looking around, still in a half daze, I noticed Jeremy asleep in the recliner in the corner. My heart lurched a bit out of excitement to see him, but that feeling died off when I realized that him being there had meant that the morning was a reality. “You’ve been asleep for quite a while.” My mom said setting down a sandwich and some juice on the table. She must have sensed my confusion, and she continued “Jeremy said you fainted at the scene of the accident. He brought you home. He looked really worked over, so I told him to sit and relax for a minute, and then he fell asleep too. I didn’t have the heart to wake him up.” She was smiling, but I could see the pain in her eyes. “It was awful, it is awful, mom. You should have seen the car; you couldn’t even tell it was hers. The ambulances were still there when I got there; they hadn’t even taken them to the hospital.” She was silent, letting me go on, “I felt so numb, so much like fluid, that it took everything I had just to stand there, staring at the glass in the road, the twisted metal, and to see the ambulances drive slowly away with two of my best friends inside.” I began to cry again. My mom sat quietly on the table, listening. “Then they asked me something about a next of kin for Molly, and I couldn’t handle that anymore. I feel so much anger, and I don’t even really know what happened.” Jeremy began to stir in the chair. “How long have we been sleeping?” I asked my mother. “About five hours.” She replied patting my hand and heading back to the kitchen. Jeremy opened his eyes and looked around as if hey was trying to figure out where he was. I gave him the best smile I could muster when he locked his eyes on me. “I am glad to see you awake and ok.” He said to me, sitting up from the chair. “Likewise.” I replied. “Are you alright?” “No, I don’t know if I’ll ever be alright. It’s still so sedated. How about you?” I asked realizing that what I had seen and what he had seen were two very separate things. “I don’t know.” He said quietly. “I gave the police Molly’s mom’s name and number. They were calling her as we left.” “Sorry that I fainted. I have never done that before. It is just all so surreal.” I explained “I know.” He said, moving over next to me on the couch. “I want to do something.” I said. “I want to help, I want to make this easier for others when they find out.” He looked at me admirably. He didn’t realize that my need to help, was just a need to keep busy, to bury the hurt that I knew I hadn’t fully felt yet. Ideas and plans started running through my head, as I sat in quiet contemplation. “Whatever I can do to help you, I will.” Jeremy said, sounding a hundred miles away. I nodded in acknowledgment and I decided that time was a precious thing, and I needed to start doing something right away before the tears began. “Call everyone, all of our friends. Lets get everyone together.” I said, standing up. “Ok,” Jeremy said, “I’ll get everyone together, should I tell people to come here?” “That’s fine.” My mom chimed from the kitchen. I nodded, and Jeremy kissed my forehead as he got up to leave. “I’ll be back.” He said. I could still feel his lips on my forehead, but pushed it out of my mind.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:38 am
I didn't want to think about Jeremy. I felt guilty knowing that while I was alone with him the night before, my friend was dying, and I felt at fault. Had I not been so intertwined in my own life and things I wanted, this may not have happened. I couldn't get over the fact that something had been bothering me, screaming in the back of my mind that something was or going to be wrong. Why didn't I listen? Because of selfishness, I thought. If I would have said to her, 'let's not go, let's stay here,' she would still be here. She would be starting her senior year in a couple of weeks. The thoughts in my mind swirled hard and fast like a tornado. It was almost dizzying. Nauseating. Frustrating. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I knew I could have prevented it, somehow. Things were happening so fast. Just the night previous, she was picking out a sexy outfit for me to wear to impress Jeremy, and it had worked. SHe wanted me to happy, pursue what I wanted, and have a good time together. She wanted to make the night a good memory, but as a result, a terrible tragedy had seered itself into the minds of all who knew her. The evening was setting in, and the clouds were starting to break up as I brought chairs into our small living room before people began to arrive. Our small living room would only hold so many. I heard the rumble of a pickup truck outside, followed shortly later by our doorbell ringing. Jeremy was here with three other guys. "There is an officer who is also a greif counselor coming by here, I hope that is alright." he offered a small smile with that. "That is wonderful. Thank you for arranging that. It should help tremendously." my mom said, offering him and the other boys a soda. Do you ever have a feeling of coldness. Not a chill, but just a cold demeanor due to anger? That was how I was feeling. I didn't want to feel any feelings other than this anger, this frustration, all mixed with this sorrow and sadness that loomed over me. Several more people arrive, until there was 30 people in our small living room. Most were standing, some were sitting. The officer arrived, a young woman, not older than 30. Once everyone had quieted down, she began talking. "Everyone, thank you for coming. Whether you knew Molly or Andrew or not, your presence and support will do more than you know for you peers. I believe that the key to recovery is fully understanding what happened. From the police and coroners reports, we can decipher what had really happened. Two people lost their lives last night. That much we know. The one who was driving had an blood alcohol level which was 3 times the legal limit. This person lost control of the car, hit at tree, ejecting both people from the car, before the car spun across the road into a ditch. The weather conditions and the environment surrounding made it almost impossible for them to be seen from the road. Unfortunately, two friends noticed the car and came to realize what had conspired last evening. We have every reason to believe that neither person suffered and that their injuries they sustained upon impact, took their lives immediately." Sobs and hushed cries filled the room. Tears flowed like water from a faucet. There were people there from the party, there were people I didn't know. Jeremy sat across the room, his head hung low. It was his house that they drank at, it was his house where they were last seen. I couldn't imagine his grief.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 6:45 am
The officer continued on about the dangers of drinking and driving, and why it is important as friends that we take responsibility for those around us. She spoke for about an hour total, before she suggested we discuss it openly. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to sit angry and hurt, and selfish. I didn't want to feel such ddep sorrow, so I let the anger cover it like a blanket. The group of people discussed how sorry they felt for their families. They talked about the last time they talked to Andrew or the last time they saw Molly. Most of the guys in the room were quiet, as to not open themselves to feeling anything. Jeremy sat quietly, head down, hands folded. I figured it was to avoid anyone knowing the pain he felt. As a friend, I knew that I should go to him, but my heart felt like a stone, hardened and cold. Part of me wanted to blame him. Blame him for making me blind to my intuition and blame him for hosting the party that killed two people. But, I knew I couldn't blame him. Deep down I knew it wasn't his fault, I knew it was whoever, either Molly or Andrew who decided to drink then get behind the wheel. It hadn't seemed like two and half hours had gone by, but the group began to disperse, thank my mom for opening her home. Hugs and tissues were being handed around as everyone exited the house. I began putting away chairs and picking up cans to keep busy. "Leave it, I'll take care of it." my mom told me, laying her hand on my shoulder. I nodded, and decided that I needed to take a break, a smoke break. I headed outside and noticed that Jeremy's truck was still parked in the driveway. He was standing at the officer's car speaking quietly to her, then they shook hands and he walked over to where I was sitting, on the tailgate of my truck. "I meant to thank her for coming." I said, staring at her taillights as they disappeared down the road. "I told her thank you." he was quiet. He scooted himself onto the tail gate next to me. "Is it alright with you that I am here?" he asked staring across the road. I nodded as I tapped my pack of cigarettes against the bed of the truck. It was silent, and we both stared out, not making eye contact, as if we were watching a pretend circus happening right in the street. Finally, after what seemed like an hour,but was probably only seconds, he spoke. "The officer told me that if Andrew hadn't been 21, that I would be facing charges against me for having the party and providing alcohol. But, since he bought the beer to begin with and was 21, I am not at fault....so why do I feel that I am?" He said, looking for an answer. "I can't answer that for you, Jeremy. I can't. I think you feel guilty, you feel as though you could have done something, done anything. If you would have just done one thing differently, this wouldn't have happened, right?" I offered. "Yeah, that's about the jist of it." he blew out a deep breath. "I feel the same way." My voice broke a bit, and I bit my lip not to cry. I lit a cigarette, hoping a chemical fix would ease the tension I felt in my chest. It just made me feel worse, so I let it burn between my fingers, flicking ashes as they gathered. "What now?" he asked. "Now? Now, we see if Molly and Andrews families need anything." I said as the idea came to me. "Good plan." he said quietly nodding, still staring at the circus.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 7:05 am
escapee, i just found this thread, and the story has been so compelling to read! i can't wait for the next installment!
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 7:16 am
Thanks. I have to be in the mood to write. My writings from day to day reflect my moods, did you notice? I love to write, but sometimes I over romanticize and get too descriptive. This is therapy for me even if no one reads it, but if people do read it and like it, even better.....glad you are enjoying.
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Tater
Member
03-19-2003
| Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 7:31 am
Thank you Escapee. I am enjoying your writing style.
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 7:50 am
I love the story Escapee...was happy to get another installment in before I left for holidays..hoping for one or two when I return On Monday (hint hint) 
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, June 30, 2006 - 9:35 am
It was starting to get late, and fatigue had set in. I tossed my cigarette to the ground and watched the red end throw sparks against the cement before jumping off the tailgate to stomp it out. I didn't want to leave any evidence of smoking for my mom to find. Especially since I wasn't 18 just yet. Good thing the convenience store next to my work didn't check my ID. "I need to get back inside, I have to work tomorrow." I explained. "Alright." Jeremy said, reaching for my hand. I pulled it back. "Look, Maybe we should just ease up a bit for right now. Things, are just, well, I don't know." I said looking him straight in the eye before dropping my eyes to hid pain. I was trying to see what kind of reaction he would have, but his stare was blank, and my eyes were filling with tears and I began to shake my head. "I need you right now as a friend." he said, "Please know that I would never try to take advantage of such a bad situation." He studied my face, and grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Can we work through this together? I want you to know that I will be here for you if you need me. Do you need me?" He asked. I nodded, wiping tears away. "I do need to get inside." "I know." he said, "I'll tell you what, I'll call you tomorrow evening, and we'll get together to see how we can help Molly's mom." "Ok." I said so softly it was bearly audible, then he let go of my hand and I walked inside.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, July 03, 2006 - 7:19 am
Sleep didn't come easy, and when it did, it was shrouded with fear and adrenaline, images of crashes, pain and suffering. I woke several times in a cold sweat. It was almost a relief when my alarm clock began to scream. A shower would help snap me into reality, then I could pour myself into work and not think about other things. A shower really woke me up, and I left my hair wet and in a pony tail as I got ready for work. A strappy tank top, cut offs and flip flops were the normal work uniform, as I headed out the door and to the pet store. When I arrived I noticed the owners truck in the driveway, which wasn't usually there on a Sunday. The bells on the door jingled like Christmas when I opened them, curiously walking in and heading over to the counter where he had his back to me. He didn't even turn around when he said "Go home." "What?" I asked half afraid of why he was sending me away. "Because," he said, turning around and showing me a soft smile and understanding eyes, "take today and tomorrow off, I don't expect you to work after just losing two friends." His face was deeply wrinkled and his gray hair was thinning. He was the nicest old man I had ever met. He was like a pseudo grandparent, since mine lived in another state. He rarely came into the shop. He let me and the other girls pretty much run the place, except when he came in to do payroll and the books. He was a retired Construction supervisor, and you could see how the sun and elements had weathered his face and skin. He'd spent many years resting on his shovel, overseeing crews, getting things built. He was a story teller, too. He'd tell you how he'd worked on this road, built this building, laid the foundation for this house, among other things. We listened to his stories, pretending to be more interested than we were. On the whole, he was a kind man who paid us more than enough for what we did. "I'd like to stay, if you don't mind." I said offering half a grin. "I think you should go, be with friends, but if you want to stay, you can." "I need to keep busy." I explained "If I keep busy..." I trailed off as he closed the register at the counter and handed me the key to the drawer. "Suit yourself, but promise me you will give me a call if you feel you need to leave. Tanya will be in at noon and she will be closing at six." and with that, he gave me a hug and headed to the door. "Oh, I'll tell you what, when Tanya gets here, get a $20 from petty cash and get yourselves some lunch, on me." He smiled and walked out the door. The clock said 9:05 a.m. so I decided to flip the open sign and begin 'staying busy'. I made myself a list of everything I wanted to get done that day, which included cleaning cages, cutting up fruit for the birds, changing tank waters, removing spiderwebs, dusting, sweeping and giving the place a good mopping. Then maybe I would scrub down the windows and really make the place shine. By 10:30, there had been no customers. I had succeeded in cleaning cages and cutting up fruit for the birds. While I was sweeping in the back of the store, I heard the bells jingle. Coming around the corner, I saw a gentleman holding a big display of flowers. "Can I help you?" I asked him walking toward the front of the store. "These for you?" He said showing me the card. It had my name on it and I told him yes and said thank you as he left. The display was beautiful. A full array of roses in yellow, pink, white and red, arranged around sunflowers, carnations, irises, daisies, ferns and baby's breath. It was amazing and so fragrant. I set it on the counter, and adjusted it while I admired it full of awe at the magnificence of it. I tore open the tiny envelope that held the card and it read: "Thinking about you, and hoping you have a good day. - Jeremy" My jaw dropped and a smile spread across my face. I buried my nose in the display and admired it for a few moments more before going back to my sweeping. I was just finishing up mopping when Tanya jingled through the door. "Hiya." she offered with a wave, then noticed the flowers on the counter. "Whoa, someone's got an admirer." Tanya and I went to school together, although we didn't run in the same circles. She was a cheerleader, very uppity and vibrant. She was one of those girls who was a girly girl. She like guys in little sports cars, the kind who could be abercrombie and fitch models. She didn't go for the "good old boy" types. However, we got along well, sat next to eachother in classes we had together, and had even given eachother rides home from school and work if needed. She was also very pretty, dark hair, skin and eyes. She was of asian decent on her mother's side, and she took after her in almost every sense. She was very thin, almost waif-like, and very delicate in appearance. She was checking out the card as I came up behind the counter. She raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow and said "Jeremy?" I snatched the card from her and stuck it in my apron pocket, I knew I was blushing and I secretly cursed myself for doing so. "He's a friend." I said trying to convince myself more than her. "Hey, I heard about your friend. I didn't know her, but I think I remember Andrew from when we were freshman. That is such a tragedy." she said will all the sympathy she had. "It's horrible, Tanya. I can't even begin to tell you how bad. I feel so guilty, so sad. Then on top of it all, this guy, Jeremy is being so sweet I feel even more guilty for letting another emotion push it's way in when the focus should be on Molly, Andrew, and their families." I was spilling out my soul without even knowing how to stop. Tanya grabbed a stool from behind the counter and pulled it up next to me and grabbed my hand. She looked at me, right in my eye, with no other expressions on her face other than support. "Start at the beginging. You were there? What happened?" her eyes were imploring me for information so she could better offer her support. "I left work that day, got to my house and Molly was there. We were getting ready to go to Jeremy's for a party, and she knew I had a little crush on him. so she picked out an outfit for me. Really sexy. They wanted me to bartend that night and I was so excited. We took separate cars because she was hoping to spend some time with Andrew and she knew that I would need to be home before her. All day I had a bad feeling about things, but I drowned it out because I really wanted to go. We arrived at the same time and I went over to do drinks with Jason, and Molly went off to find Andrew. Time went by really fast, and before I knew it it was twelve thirty, quarter to 1, and we were running low on beer. So Molly and Andrew offered to take up collection to go get more. We just didn't want the fun to end. So I took that time to go out and have a smoke, and I met up with Jeremy outside. We got to talking, and before I knew it it was almost two and I had to be home at two. So I left as fast as I could and sped home down rainy roads, to walk in the front door with seconds to spare. I don't know what time Molly and Andrew left, but I had noticed that they weren't back yet when I left. Jeremy called at 5:30 the next morning and said there had been an accident. He and Joey James had found their car in a ditch along the highway, not to far from Jeremy's house, and they called the police. They found Molly and Andrew in the brush and grass along the side of the road. Andrew had been drinking, and we assume she let him drive. The roads were wet and they hit a tree. Jeremy came and picked me up and took me to the crash sight. They were just pulling out the car, and as we were standing there, I got sick and fainted. Jeremy brought me home and I rested as much as I could. Jeremy organized a grief counseling session at my house last night and an officer who is a grief counselor came and talked to a whole group of us. Since Andrew was 21, Jeremy isn't going to be held responsible, but he feels so guilty. I feel so guilty. I drove right by them that night and didn't even see them. If I had just slowed down. If I would have followed my senses and not gone-" She cut me off. "Sshh. You have no reason to feel guilty. This isn't your fault or Jeremy's fault. They made a choice. They chose to go get more beer, and we don't even know if Andrew was driving, but if he was, that was their choice also. He is a drinker, we all know that. It was an accident, the rain, the roads, the booze, just a volitile combination." She was stroking my hand and talking really softly. "I realize it is soon, but have you talked to either family?" she asked "No, I was going to wait another day or so. I am going to see if there is anything I can do to help out. Staying busy is going to keep me numb and help me to stop crying." As I said the words my eyes stung with tears. "Then there's these flowers," I said gesturing to the display, "I know he is trying to help, but I help wonder if he is trying to take advantage of this situation. I mean I really think I like him, but I feel guiltier thinking about whether or not I like him. Frustrating." Tanya laughed sympathetically. "Oh honey, it's ok to feel other emotions, you're human right? If it makes you feel less pain thinking about Jeremy, then do it. You can't change what has happened. It's about healing now, and if this it what helps close the wounds, then do what you need to do. Grieve together, it will help you both, and I don't think he is trying to take advantage of the situation. I don't know him, but this is very sweet. Also, he came and got you after it happened, he organized the session, he seems very nice. I would like to meet him." She said all of this with an easy smile and handed me a tissue. Her soft insurance made me feel so much better. I realized it was very soon after the accident, and I hated thinking so much about myself. But I was afraid. Afraid the ache would get worse. I secretly hoped that Jeremy would make it easier, Tanya already had a little. By closing that day, we had only had a half dozen customers, three sales, and the rest browsers coming in out of the muggy heat. Tanya made me promise I would call her if I needed to talk and I said I would, and actually meant it. We turned off the lights, set the alarm, and locked the doors as we left. I carried my vase of flowers to my truck. They almost didn't fit on the floor board. I didn't want them to spill. I secured them with my purse and a sweatshirt I found behind my seat. They made my whole truck smell like a funeral. I knew I be smelling that again real soon.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, July 05, 2006 - 9:40 am
When I got home that evening, my mother told me that Molly's step father had called and asked if I would mind calling him back. I decided not to wait on that, and I grabbed the phone. When he answered, I told him who it was and there was a long silence. "I am glad you called me back." he said, "I was hoping you could help us out." "Anything I can do, I want to help." I said squeezing back tears. His voice was sullen, and rightly so. "They've had to sedate Molly's mother.....so the responsibilty of arrangements has fallen entirely on my shoulders." I could tell he was having trouble saying the words, talking about arrangements for his step daughters' funeral. "I am sorry I hadn't called sooner, but I was trying to give you and your family some space. I want to help in any way I can. I will do whatever you need me to." I offered. There was more silence on the line. "Do you think you could say something, maybe write something about Molly and read it at the funeral. You were closest to her this last year or so." He asked with a heaved sigh. Public speaking? The thought terrified me. I couldn't even talk in private about this situation, let alone speak about it in a gathering of people. "Uh, sure, when?" I asked with concern in my tone. "We are going to have a service on Thursday. Andrew's family will be in attendance and the memorial will include them both." He said, as though he was reading it from a script. "If there is any more I can do, please let me know." I offered, feeling it was my responsibility. "You can let her friends and Andrew's friends know when it will be." he said, then giving me the location of the funeral home. My mind felt very gloomy and dark. Very sickened. Like death loomed over the whole world, bringing despair and depression. The thought of sitting down and writing a eulogy for friends so young is something no one should ever have to do. But, here I was, facing it head on like a car accident.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, July 05, 2006 - 1:12 pm
The three days following passed like a whirlwind. I had to work each day, but had taken Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday off for the memorial service and to get ready for school that was starting that coming Monday. I used most of the workdays to call friends and let them know where the memorial service was going to be and what time. I encouraged everyone to come and bring as much support as they could, as the more people in attendance, the better for everyone. Another thing I had been working on was my writing for the service. Tanya was a big help sorting out my feelings and being my on hand thesaurus when I needed her to be. She was going to come to the service for emotional support, and I appreciated that more than anything. Making arrangements and writing seemed therepeutic. I had my writings all finished, it was light and airy, and easy, and what you'd expect to hear at a funeral. It was almost as though I had copied it from someone else. The night before the service, I crumpled up what I had written, and sat alone in my room and thought to myself 'What would Molly and Andrew want written about them? What would they want to hear'. The words flowed from my hands to the paper, and I felt a great sense of relief when I had finished. I knew that somehow I had gotten some closure. I fell asleep that night, more relaxed and ready to face the next day with less sadness, fear, and despondency. I woke up early the next morning, and took a long, cleansing shower. I washed away all of the sorrow I could. I let the water take away the regret I felt for the things that had happened. Stepping out, I wiped the fog off of the bathroom mirror, and my face seemed less morose, and I even mustered a smile, as I brushed my teeth. I had an hour until the service started and I took care in my appearance. I knew I would be up in front of a large amount of people, so my makeup was done to perfection. I decided that hair up seemed more formal, so I tied it up loosely in a bun, and secured it with a butterfly shaped clip. Molly loved butterflies. I smiled remembering that small bit of information. I pulled on the only black dress I had, but I paired it with a string of long brown beads. The color of them reminded me of Andrew's eyes, and they stood out just like Andrew's eyes. I sprayed a spritz of perfume on, and gave myself a once over in the full length mirror in my bedroom. Not bad. Molly would have approved, and Andrew would have made some suggestive comment about the length of my skirt. I grabbed my purse, keys, and my writing, and headed out the door only to be met in the driveway by Jeremy. "Can I drive you there?" he asked with a smile. "Sure." I said smiling and blushing, but I didn't care. "You look nice, and not so sad." he said laughingly. "Thanks, I feel better, how about you?" "Ok. We are going to be ok." he said back staring forward. He pulled out of my driveway and turned his radio up and squeezed my hand. The funeral hall was already full of people. Jeremy and I made our way to the front of the room when Molly's step father motioned for us. He had saved us a seat behind the family, which I thought was a nice gesture, with everything else that he had going on. Her mother's eyes never wavered from the photograph of Molly at the front of the room. She had had her senior pictures taken early, as many upcoming seniors did. She was beautiful. Her eyes sparkled, her smile made her whole face glow. Her dimples set off her happiness in the picture and her was left down, flowing across her shoulders. It was the way I would always remember her. Next to her picture was Andrew's picture. His handsome face, set off by his beautiful brown eyes and deep chestnut hair. His smile in the picture gave him a hint of innocence behind a tough exterior. I believed it to be the picture from his senior year as well. What a good looking man he had become. The room was filled with flowers. Flowers of everykind, color and size. It was an immaculate and beautiful display. The arrangements were a work of art. "By the way," I whispered in Jeremy's ear, "thanks for the flowers, it was very sweet." Jeremy smiled "You are welcome, I thought you had forgotten or maybe you were mad." He whispered back, leaning in close. "No, I have just been busy with things." I said apologetically. He smiled and squeezed my hand, then leaving his hand in mine. My heart fluttered a bit. As the service began, hush sobs filled the room. The words of the officiant, her aunt, his sister, and other various friends and family members were a blur. It went by way too fast. My nerves were on edge. Then they announced my name, and I stood up. Jeremy looked at me confused. He had no idea what I was doing. I made my way nervously to the front of the room, to the podium. I looked out across all of the faces. Most everyone I knew. I recognized Andrew's family, friends from school. Then I noticed toward the back of the room my mom and Tanya. There was standing room only. I took a deep breath and let it out and closed my eyes. The room was silent. Pin drop silent. I unfolded my writing, and began: "For those of you who don't know me, I am Jesse Simmons. I am a friend of Molly and Andrew's. Notice, I did not say I was. I will always be their friend, as they are not gone, they are just not here. I met Andrew when I was a freshman in high school. I thought he was so cute. What a charmer. We became good buddies, and his friendship is one I will always cherish. I met Molly about a year ago, and we became fast friends. She was the Yin to my Yang. Looking at the pictures of her you can see we are opposites, but we balanced eachother out. I have spent the last several days in sullen numbness. I have been dwelling on the what if's, the could haves, the should haves, and the would haves. I have been deep in dark sadness, and I know mine isn't as bad as some. No one should have to sit here to day and mourn the loss of their loved ones. But, we are. Over the past several days I have spent time in anger, I have spent time crying, I have spent time in denial, and I have spent time making deals to go back and try to change the past. All that happened is I lost time that I could not get back. I don't want to waste any more time hurting. I don't want any of us to waste any time mourning, pining, hurting, or crying. I want each of us to take the time we have and use it. Do not let another second go by that you don't love, forgive, share, and live. Live for those who can't. Laugh for those who don't. Share with those who won't. And love. Love with everything you have. Every day tell someone you love them and why. And, most important, show them. Molly would have wanted us to celebrate her life, and not revel in her death. Andrew would have wanted us to share a toast in his honor. As we leave here today, and venture on with our lives, our loves, our interests, our friendships, our jobs, among other things, do not forget that God doesn't close a door without opening a window. For every ending there is a beginging. For many of us here, we are about to embark on a new school year. Whether that is a high school year, or college, it is a begining. We have choices to make. I ask that in honor of Molly and Andrew that not a single one of us here ever drinks then drives. I ask you on their behalf. Make a pact with yourself, your friends, and your family, and remember Molly and Andrew. Remember their drive for life, and their love of fun and respect yourselves and them by chosing not to. Also, as we go today, please tell at least one person how much you love them and why. Thank you." By the end of the speech, my nerves were as calm as crystal waters. I took my seat next to Jeremy, who eyes were wide in awe. He replaced his hand in mine and kept it there as the service ended and people filtered out behind Molly's mother and Andrew's mother who seemed less distraught in a sense. I felt relief as we filtered out behind them to meet up with friends. Jeremy held my hand, holding me back from moving forward. He pulled me over to him and held onto my shoulders and leaned over and kissed me. Fireworks filled my mind and dizziness passed through me until I couldn't stand. As he stepped back, he smiled. My mind buzzed, I had that inclination of him taking advantage of the situation. "What was that for?" I asked "You are an amazing person, and before you say anything, I know we are still getting to know eachother, but I can already see the wonder of you." My eyes were wide and I was speechless. "You know that thing you said about telling someone each day you love them and why?" I was still silent and staring, "Well, I can see me saying that to you." I was completely taken aback and I shook my head as though trying to clear out the pounding in my chest from the noise in my ears. Jeremy laughed again, and it sounded like silk and I began to blush. "Come on." he said, sensing my speechlessness, "lets start that new begining." The End.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Sunday, July 09, 2006 - 7:42 am
Very nice... thank you
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Monday, July 17, 2006 - 7:03 am
wow that was great Escapee...I never had a chance to read the last few chapters until this morning. thanks for sharing your talent with us!
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Tater
Member
03-19-2003
| Thursday, July 27, 2006 - 2:52 pm
Thank you!
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