TVCH FORUMS HOME . JOIN . FAN CLUBS . ABOUT US . CONTACT . CHAT  
Bomis   Quick Links   TOPICS . TREE-VIEW . SEARCH . HELP! . NEWS . PROFILE
Archive through March 03, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through March 03, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Brenda1966
Member

07-03-2002

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 12:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Brenda1966 a private message Print Post    
This discussion sure is interesting! I think it gives both genders something to think about and reflect on (a little self examination never hurt anyone.)

When I read Newman's "I don't trust people who don't drink", honestly it ticks me off a bit. If a guy doesn't want to date me because I can't stand the taste of wine, well how shallow is that? But, another poster reminded me that I don't date smokers. Oops. I guess I have my own "deal breakers" that have nothing to do with finding the right person for me -- they may act as barriers to it.

I don't think we're trying to tell Newman he's wrong -- I think we're discussing how men and woman can come at a relationship with different ideas and different needs and timetables and how that makes it that much harder to find someone.

Ultimately, it's all very, very discouraging and makes me glad I'm retired from the dating scene and doing the mommy thing instead. Thoughts of going on another date make me nauseated.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 12:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Isn't everything I say, obviously, "in my experience?" This all seems like <57> semantic game playing to me.

Everything I write is MY OPINION. Do I have to start every sentence with, "In my opinion..."

I really don't feel attacked around the conversation of the 3 date thing. I think Kearie summed it up well, earlier. What did she say? Women (in general) want to feel safe and secure. Men (in general) want sex. Women - in general - like sex too, but only in general when they feel safe and secure. Men, in general, don't have that problem with feeling safe and secure, but we start feeling insecure, in general, if we keep being put off in our attempts to have sex.

Now, shall we talk about abortion for awhile ? That was humor, people!


Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 12:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Oh cuz I was gonna say I'm pro choice. :-)

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 12:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Love your "phone rule" Mocha ... yes, I'd like a man who can speak clearly and who doesn't sound like a gnome! That's great!

For me it's all about chemistry! It has to be there. And I'm not sure if that comes from physical or mental but I do know when it's there and when it's not. I'm not the person who believes you can "create" chemistry.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
newman, i find your postings very well structured and totally understandable. your writings are enjoyable reading. it is refreshing that you are so open with us here on this board.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
The last woman I dated was a non-drinker. She was fun. WE had a good time for awhile. But she also had a hard time looking me in the eye, which made me wonder. Did I scare her? Am I that intimidating?

If she only could have relaxed around me, better...

We had much better conversations on the phone than we did in person. That never changed.

Oh...all of the above was just my opinion (in general)...and from my experiences...


Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
LOL! In my opinion, in general.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Okay, folks, let's keep it civil!

You cannot call another poster's opinion offensive (that would be bashing another poster, which is against the rules).

You cannot call another poster's opinion "childish" either.

Keep your posts about the ISSUES, please, and not about each other. Keep the words "you this" and "you that" out of it, if you're planning to be contrary.

This is not semantics, it's the stinkin' rules. The same stinkin' rules you all agreed to when you signed up to be members here.

It would be best for our sanity and the life of this thread, if you would all CHOOSE not to take other people's opinions personally. That's what starts flame wars, and it's getting awfully warm in here.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation!


Landi
Member

07-29-2002

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Landi a private message Print Post    
costa, i can't speak for joe blow either. but i think i may have <bleeped> him in my 20's!! HAHAHAHA! dang, i'm not even ashamed to call myself "meredith"!

i used to do the drink thing to loosen up. and somewhere along the line, i stopped drinking. too many cases of "coyote ugly". yes, it was a long time ago. now i look at these people at some of the functions around this town. and because of the major industry up here, there get to be A LOT of drunk people. and they are just acting stupidly. and i'm glad i'm no longer that person. i would hate to be single with what i know now.


Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Native_texan a private message Print Post    
Newman, hon, do you need an icepack?

I do have a question for you. You meet girl, go out with girl 4 times (I'm cutting you some slack)and she doesn't make a move (you have said you like for the woman to seduce you). Do you express your concerns to her or do you assume you don't turn her on and drop her? Do you ever think maybe she's waiting for you (she may be like me and is tired of always being expected to make the first move) and since you're not making a move she's thinking she doesn't turn you on?

Okay, that was 2 questions.

It's all about communication. If I can't communicate with a man verbally, I am not even going to try to communicate with him sexually.

Oh, one more question - have you ever tried a Republican?

Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Native_texan a private message Print Post    
Landi, I had his cousin Joe Schmo back in 1975.

I haven't always been so strict on myself.

Jeep
Member

10-17-2001

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jeep a private message Print Post    
Mocha, I can realate to some of what you said. I don't plan on getting married again either but one of my reasons is that I did get burned and badly. Also, I had forgotten the nice things about being single. No one to mess up the house but me. I can do what I want, when I want without approval from anyone else. I have the whole bed to myself to twist, turn and flop around in. I don't have to take care of anyone except me. It's easy to be very selfish when you are single. I'm going to enjoy it this time around.

On the other hand, I'm not good at the "hit and quit". At least, I don't think I would be good at it. Since I haven't tried it yet, I'm just thinking that way. You sound exactly like one of the guys here at my office. He's divorced, about my age and does the "hit and quit" all the time. When the gal says "where is this going?", he flatly says "nowhere" and that's it. Once he sees she's getting attached, it's adios muchacha. I don't know if I can do that, but haven't tried.

My ideal situation (in my dreams) would be to meet a guy that's been on his own successuflly and doesn't want a gal to be his cook, maid or bookkeeper. We'd go places, vacation together, go to his house or mine and just enjoy life together exclusively with each other. I want to be spoiled for once. LOL

And LOL at the guy sounding like a gnome!

I guess the bottom line for me is that I need to get out there and see just how I do react. But this is a small town and anything I do will be all over gossip in no time, so I have to be careful there too. Don't want to mess up my professional reputation along the line. Already, someone called my ex and told him I had a boyfriend because they saw me at lunch with the boss! Geesh. He's married and his wife and daughter work here. At least the ex knew this and set them straight. I was suprised at that. Small town gossip can be brutal.

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
Hey Jeep....I want to find a similar guy to yours. Let's make a deal to call each other if they have friends! I have to add a couple of things to the list though. Not dealbreakers, but it would be nice if he can sew buttons on (mine only last one wearing) and if he irons. And unloads the dishwasher! I would love that. I'd even take out the trash in return.

I don't need separate houses, but I would need separate bank accounts. Not that I am so efficient, but I pretty much keep up with my balance in my head and don't want anyone else taking money out of my account and overdrawing it! And even with that, I know tons of couples that have broken up over money and I seriously would need someone who has similar views about money as I do.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i was married at 18 and divorced at 30. then i stayed single until age 42 and have been married this time for 4 years so far. when i was single i did not want to be married again. it was only after my now dh convinced me he didn't care whether or not i cooked, did the laundry, kept house or any of those other bad words that i decided i'd give marriage a try again. i love my dh dearly.

if anything happens to end this marriage (death or divorce) no one else will be able to convince me to marry them or live with them for any reason. i do not like being married but i do honor my commitments. i have no reason to divorce my dh. i just don't like living with anyone.

so, it is a good thing that both of us have to travel for our jobs from time to time.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
I think I agree with Legalboxer. But I think I need to read it again... I got lost somewhere in there! <grin>

Seriously, I am not allowed to take offense when someone says something like "all women are idiots"? A statement like that is offensive to many people, in addition to condescending. Many times, that is exactly the intent of a statement like that. Am I supposed to just sit and take it while someone is allowed to post that type of thing? Seriously, if it is, then maybe TVCH isn't what I thought it was...

Oh yeah, and I don't know all women, so I don't know if they are all idiots. I do know, however, that every woman I know personally is most definitely NOT. <grin>

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 1:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Well I think people have the right to say "all women are idiots". And in turn people have the right to discuss it. And personally I think people should have the right to tell someone that they're an idiot. But yeah I know you can't do it here. That's why I do it elsewhere. :-)

Legalboxer
Member

11-17-2003

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Legalboxer a private message Print Post    
all i know right now is i have liked all your posts here costacat (big grin)


thanks for sharing mocha - while it may not be exactly my view 9still looking for that first marriage) i totally understand where you are coming from and appreciate how clear you are in what you want - even if life isnt always clear

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
thx legal. I'm very big on communication up front like no I'm not seeing you exclusively, problem?

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Along with being upfront & honest is knowing what you truly want out of the relationship and being able to communicate that to your partner.

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
I am NOT an idiot!

Legalboxer
Member

11-17-2003

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Legalboxer a private message Print Post    
righto mocha -


relationships, interveiws, anyone i meet - i think my test is when i ask them about a sport - it doesnt matter if they went to carolina and dont like basketball or if they went to notre dame and dont like football - what matters is how they respond to the question and if i sense a surface answer or insincere or a nonanswer, that turns me off

ETA

IDIOT
1.A foolish or stupid person.
2.A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.


Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I feel ya legal.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Thanks Legal. :-)

And for all the rest, definition #1 is the intended meaning when I used "idiot" as an example. By no means did I intend to offend anyone who's mental capacity may be somewhat diminished (nor would I ever use that word in that capacity).

Rosie
Member

11-12-2003

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rosie a private message Print Post    
purr

Legalboxer
Member

11-17-2003

Friday, March 03, 2006 - 2:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Legalboxer a private message Print Post    
i find it interesting that foolish and stupid are in the same line - because eventhough they are very similar, i think sometimes there is a difference between not thinking (foolish) and not knowing enough to think (stupid) but that is just my interpertation - but i guess idiot can fall under both