Author |
Message |
Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:14 am
Don't look at me in that tone of voice. This is an original from my mother.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:27 am
My Grandpa used to tell us "If you can't be good, be as good as you can."
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:12 pm
if you can't be good, be good at it. if you can't be good at it, don't get caught doing it! if you get caught doing it, name it after me. do i look like i'm made out of money? if it was up your butt you'd know where it is.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:20 pm
If we said Hey, my mother would say "Hay is for horses." And if we said So, she would say "Sew buttons on your underwear." I find myself saying hay is for horses to the daycare kids all the time.
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Marysafan
Member
08-07-2000
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:36 pm
My dad used to tell us, "Eat this. It'll put hair on your chest." I think I was about 10 before I finally figured out that I didn't want hair on my chest. My mother used to say "He's as useless as teats on a boar hog." I was about 12 or 13 before I figured that one out! My grandmother used to say, "Tables are for glasses not a**es." if she caught anyone sitting on a table. I had a friend that told me that if they ever referred to their mother as "she", their father would say..."Who is "she"? The cat's mother?"
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:53 pm
OG, my mom said that one too. and i use it on my daughter. i know when she's looking at me what she's thinking and how she'd talk at me. so i'll tell her "don't look at me in that tone of voice" and she'll laugh and change how her face is constricted up!
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Texasdeb
Member
05-23-2003
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:07 pm
He/She can't tell their a$$ from a hole in the ground. $hit or get off the pot.
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Irishtxgrl
Member
12-07-2005
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:19 pm
$hit on a brick I'm gonna beat you like a redheaded step-child I'm gonna beat you with a brick stick I'm as nervous as a cat in a room full of rockin chairs Sweatin like a wh^&e in church Shut up you whoo doo Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:40 pm
On leaving a door open: Were you raised in a barn? Do you pay the electric bill around here? (I use this on Travis) If it was a snake it would have bit you. Where did you have it last? (If I knew that, I wouldn't be looking for it now, would I.) Stick a fork in me - I'm done. You better get that look off your face. What are you going to do if it freezes like that?
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:41 pm
And how many parents used the good old "if they jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?"
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Kaili
Member
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:42 pm
It's "bejesus" here too...but I'm more likely to say that I had the shit scared out of me than that. Stronger than a brick shithouse- My old roomate from Tennessee used to say that a lot.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:47 pm
Granny uses peewaddle.
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:50 pm
What is that? Some kind of contraceptive?
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Kaili
Member
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:53 pm
I think it might have to to with ducks. Like how you walk (waddle) when you have to pee real bad??
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:18 pm
she's built like a brickhouse. they don't have anything to hang their hat on. wipe that look off your face before i do it for you. who got your panties all in a wad?
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Lumbele
Member
07-12-2002
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:38 pm
drier than a popcorn fart
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:45 pm
LOL - this is a very entertaining thread!!! I've been watching it all day but I have to say I love Lumbele's "drier than a popcorn fart."
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:48 pm
make like a baby and head out make like a tree and leave make like a banana and split I see said the blind man don't smack your gum For the record I'm part of the beejeebers camp.
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:52 pm
get your head out of your a$$. i've put my foot in my mouth so many times that i've grown webs between my toes. he/she just about tripped over his/her own tongue. he/she is as high as a kite. put your eyes back in your head.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:10 pm
My step dad used to say he was gonna beat us like red headed step children. Now the man slapped me once the whole time I was growing up. We were eating dinner and sis and I were arguing across the table, finally I made a rather rude suggestion about what she could do with herself and threw a knife across the table at her. David reached over and slapped me on the cheek and I'm the first to admit I deserved that, lol. I looked at mom knowing she wasn't a believer in spankings, she was far more creative with punishments, but my granny was a whooping woman and I knew damn well what that look on mom's face was and knew the last thing I wanted to do at that point was proceed to pop out with, "That didn't hurt!" So anytime we heard him say he was gonna beat us like red headed step children, we'd just giggle and giggle knowing he was full of it, and point out the rather obvious fact that I was a red headed step child, LOL.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:24 pm
To add to Spitfire's - I see said the blind man to the deaf woman
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Ginger1218
Member
08-31-2001
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:42 pm
One of the girls in my office says: "Faster than a one leg man in a butt kicking contest" I have no idea what it means LOL
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:46 pm
Well, back in the 'old days' it was taught not to take the Lords name in vain...hence those who could not/would not say 'beJesus'...so they corrupted it to bejeebers or bejeepers. Same are in England, where they say "Gor blimey!" It is actually God blind me...
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:59 pm
Ginger, just imagine how fast that man would have to move to keep from falling down. There also "Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."
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Merrysea
Member
08-13-2004
| Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 4:20 pm
Spitfire and Native_Texan, my dad used to say "I see said the blind man over the phone to his deaf son."
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