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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 4:35 pm
So you're the top dog in the Fact or Crap thread?
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 5:01 pm
Karuuna, I disagree with your 6:28am post. (And I am Newman, not Norm. Try to keep your TV characters straight ). As one of the few men who post here, I think my opinions should carry more weight, when discussing men/women issues, especially those involving the man's point of view. First, have we identified how old ZMom is, as delicate a question as that is? Or how old the new bf is? I agree with you there, Karuuna, that in Baby Boomer territory sex is not the tremendous driving force it is as in your 30s. And I also agree with Chewpito. If my feelings and emotions were flying as high as ZMom was writing, well, I'd be hoping for air bags. Not sure my brakes would work. K, I recognize that you advocate the slow, cautious female approach, which is fine. From the male point of view, again, just going by what ZMom is writing and feeling, why limit the amount of fun, why increase the amount of frustration. Sex is sacred, sure, but I'm not getting any younger either. We're both adults. This is most likely not our first rodeo. If we're both in the mood for "love", I say go for it. Trust your instincts. This relationship has been brewing for a little while, right? It's not a one night stand, a complete stranger she met at Cheers (not that there's anything wrong with that). If she's picking him up at the airport, well, that's a pretty significant step in a relationship. Remember Seinfeld wouldn't even move Keith Hernandez, because it was too soon in their relationship, and he certainly wasn't going to drive him to the airport!!! It takes time to develop that kind of trust and comfort level.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 5:24 pm
I don't think any one person should carry any more weight here than any other. I can't speak for all women, all boomers, etc., just for me. I think Zmom has made it clear she is flying high and ENJOYING the high and choosing what, when and where. She doesn't have to have an explanation that works for any of us (though it works for me). I pick lots of people up at airports and it doesn't seem all that intimate to me. I never watched Seinfeld, just going on real life. Zmom is not a baby boomer, but her mom is 
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 5:53 pm

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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 5:55 pm

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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 5:56 pm
I picked Seamonkey up at a bus station. Does that count? Yay Zmom Mommy!!!
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 6:02 pm
Actually, it was at a hotel, as I recall. I picked up Karuuna at LAX I've also been met at airports by Pcakes, Grannyg, TNT, Pamy, Hippyt, Mocha, Reader, etc. Juju also took me to the ferry..
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 6:03 pm
did you put her back down?
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 6:05 pm
Sea, you snuck that post in while I was answering Juju2bigdog's post. lol. Yay. I've met Juju2bigdog, Seamonkey and ZMom and others but I do believe Seamonkey holds the record right now.
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 6:07 pm
I am glad the guy I had sex with was willing to wait. He never took it personally that I wasn't ready. He didn't need me haveing sex with him to prove to himself he was desirable. He would ask but I said no to sex because it was a big step for me. It was great when it happened. It could happen again. Who knows.
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 6:42 pm
"Male point of view" "Female point of view"... when it comes to points of view, one size does not fit all and they are not contained by the sex of the holder! I love hearing your point of view, Newman, always think about what you say and respect your opinion (even when I don't agree with it.) In this case I am happy it is not the only point of view held by men. I have a lot of close relationships with baby boomer men, and younger men for that matter, and we talk about such things a lot. All men aren't looking for sex early on and all don't feel personally rejected if a woman is not ready (granted I live in the South and we tend to do most things a bit slower here!) In fact, I know more and more men that are putting on the brakes themselves for their own reasons. It sounds to me like ZMom is handling all this well....and evidently the guy thinks so, too. He sounds smitten and hasn't sounded at all like he is rushing things along. They are enjoying each other and finding they really, really like each other... that's such a fun stage. She should trust her own judgment here and move at her own pace. I generally advocate jumping into life full force, but I also have come to believe in caution when it comes to sex. I think sex is one area of life that leads to more regrets than most others. And while I have heard lots of different opinions from those I know, when it comes to sex I have definitely heard more "I did and wish I hadn't"'s than "I didn't and wish I had"s.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 6:48 pm
Granny has gotten me several times from an airport and we dang sure aren't intimate. Ok so we've slept in the same room, it was innocent. 
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 7:21 pm
I spent way more hours than I cared to at airports yesterday. Hey, come to think of it, when I arrived back to my localish airport at 2:30 this morning (got home at 4 a.m., thank you very much) I did hug a man who was there to pick someone else up. Wasn't feeling deep intimacy, but then again it wasn't me he was picking up. It was his BIL!
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 7:36 pm
I agree with the Seinfeld writers. Picking someone up at the airport is a big deal. They had another episode where George was telling Jerry that he could tell if he was going to get lucky that night just by the way the woman greeted him at the airport. A lot of people I know don't like to put out their friends. Our airport is a long way from civilization. Take an airport shuttle. Let your friends stay home and watch Grey's Anatomy reruns. I wonder if you women appreciate Jimmer. I know i do. He's about the only other man who writes here. It's important to get male perspective because we do think differently than you all. That's why I write in blue. I try to make it easier on people to find the blue ribbon special posts I know a lot of women want to wait for sex. Wait, and wait and wait until you're ready, until the time is perfect, until you're sure the guy is not a child molester or a serial killer. We're not there with the youthful ZMom. All I know is that when i was in my thirties there was nothing better than fun, spontaneous hot sex, with someone I was in love with. It didn't happen all that often. I wish it had.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 7:45 pm
Wait, and wait and wait until you're ready, until the time is perfect, until you're sure the guy is not a child molester or a serial killer. Maybe it is just wait until we're sure we love him and that we're not just a piece of a*s. Geesh...
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Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 7:51 pm
All I know is that when i was in my thirties there was nothing better than fun, spontaneous hot sex, with someone I was in love with. Newman, I think that's the point. You were in love. If a man has nothing but sex on his mind on the first few dates, than isn't it just a conquest?
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 8:08 pm
I don't think you know someone well enough after a few dates to say you are "in love". Lust, maybe. Infatuation. But not in love. In love is effortful, not easy. Love is work, and accepting all the little things you don't really like about the other person. In the beginning you don't even see those things. That's not love. That's fantasy. Newman, I have a lot of very good male friends; and uh, I got that degree in psychology and did a lot of work in counseling. You may not think that gives me any window into the feelings of men, I happen to think it does. 
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 8:12 pm
I personally adore Jimmer and from his posts think he is a wise and kind man. I always pay attention when he has something to say. He seems to have a good knowledge of who he is...and who the women around him are....and respects both. I don't like people picking me up at the airport. Too much added stress if your flight times change. Like last night....would I want someone out of bed at 2:30 in the morning just to drive me home? Would I want to have to call someone with updates every hour (the outlook changed continuously)? Would I want to stress out if they weren't there when I was ready to go home? As it was, I grabbed my luggage, went to my car and drove myself home. No one was inconvenienced. I personally don't mind picking up other people, even acquaintances (though I still don't get the concept unless you are gone for a long time and can't afford long term parking or don't have a vehicle.) I'd almost do it for a stranger....in fact, thought about asking around last night to see if others needed a ride since the car rental places were closed....then decided the single female shouldn't be the one to ask!
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 8:13 pm
And I wonder sometimes if men really know what other men think. Some do....but others seem to talk about their feelings more to women than to each other.
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 8:16 pm
Jimmer?
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 8:21 pm
Hey, Seamonkey picked me up at LAX and dropped me off, and we have yet to be intimate. Even after a nice evening out and a day at DisneyLand! PS - As an administrator, I'd like you to stop directing comments about a specific situation or poster please. It's best if we stay away from analyzing other posters and/or their behavior. There are real people here with real feelings, let's not discuss them like they are lab rats. Got it? 
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Glenn
Member
07-05-2003
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 8:40 pm
Newman, I have to agree with Karuuna, you are not the normal in comparison to the baby boomer men that I know. Because you are a frequent male poster in this thread, it also does not necessarily give your opinion the increased weight as you claim it should. Women are as likely to have sex on the first date, second date, or third date as any men are. It is all about comfort level if you were to ask me. A woman will wait for sex until she is comfortable with her partner. Maybe men should learn from this and use the same criteria.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 9:01 pm
Bravo Glenn! BTW ... slept with him on the first date and have been happy ever since! It's all about comfort level! 
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Zachsmom
Member
07-13-2000
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 9:52 pm
Glenn is right, it's all about comfort. I have no opinion on others having sex on the first date. If that is what you are comfortable with and you are not pressured into doing something you don't want to do, hey, go for it! Heck, most women can have sex anytime they want. If I wanted sex I am almost positive I could go out and hook up with someone tonight. I want more than that. The last guy I dated wanted to wait. He said the sooner you have sex with someone the faster the relationship dies. That was his experience. We saw each other for about 3 months before he died and never did anything more than heavy makeout sessions. He was 48 and I am almost 38,He liked me and I liked him. Do I regret that we were never intimate in a sexual way? Nope, I wasn't actually ready. I think having sex is a bit more intimate and a bigger deal than picking someone up at the airport. For a friend I will do just about anything. As far as baby boomers going to the doctors, go, go, go, go!! My friend died of a heart attack at 48. I do not know if he went to the doctors regularly or not, but according to his family, he thought he was "healthy as a horse".
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 10:22 pm
you can buy inexpensive glucose monitors (mine was 60 bucks and the company had a 35 dollar rebate), and i get the lancets and the strips for free from kaiser. if i hadn't bought the monitor on my own, turns out kaiser would have given me one for free. all i did was tell them diabetes runs in my family. we also have a blood pressure kit at home. it measures both blood pressure and your heart rate. it's the one that goes on your arm; they now have them that go on your wrist! for under 60 bucks, it was well worth it. it has lasted for 20 years already and we only replaced the batteries once in all that time. those are two things you can get for yourself. i loved having kaiser for the last 20 years. we are going to tri-care soon because the closest kaiser to our new home is sacramento, which is almost 200 miles. i will miss it. for a $5-dollar co-pay i got the following: d&c for miscarriage, amnio with dd, c-section with dd, gall bladder surgery, and both kids had ear surgeries, adenoids, and the like and dh had a hernia operation. with kaiser, i feel you get very good care. there is no problem getting to a specialist; as a matter-of-fact, i was sent immediately to the hospital, once by ambulance from my doctor's office, the second they suspected something abnormal. i would love to keep kaiser because i have felt so cared for over the years, especially now that i am getting to my 'twilight' years! the only good thing about not having kaiser anymore is saving 600 bucks a month. sure was nice when 75% of the cost for premiums was paid by my dh's employer z'smom, you just keep not having sex until/unless you are ready for it. remember, as i saw on a commercial for comedians tonight, "i am celibate. i celibate and i give a bit for free!"
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