Author |
Message |
Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 7:57 pm
heh, Jimmer, you reminded me of that new country song that's so popular -- "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. " 
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 8:05 pm
my experience with older men was much better than that with men my own age or younger. this was back in my 30's and they were in their late 40's or early 50's. i know for a fact that they thought they were having the best time of their lives. <big grin> now, that i am 46 and have married dh, who is 44, we are very compatible.
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 8:32 pm
CND...exaxtly what are you trying to say? <wink>
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 8:46 pm
Maybe the sex would be better with one of those little blue pills? 
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Spygirl
Board Administrator
04-23-2001
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 9:00 pm
Sex for men and women is remarkably different at most all ages. Mainly, men are easier to orgasm and more likely to experience "great" sex in the younger years when orgasm is the easiest to achieve. On the flip side, for women, a great amount of psychological influences affect orgasm (not to mention the physiological complexities), so early on women tend to be more attuned to the psychological factors. Since women tend to start out at a different point in their own sexual functioning - one of dificiency mixed with shame and guilt - it can really only get better over time (with effort). For men, sex comes (*cough*) so easy early in life that the inevitable physiological declines are much more noticeable and often times distressing. Of course those declines are not welcome, and, in many ways, men have to increase their own psychological sex drive in order to continue enjoying sex. This could account for some differences in genders with regard to sex and age. Granted, that psychological part of sex is what separates having a mere physical release of orgasm from experiencing mind blowing sex. Over time, both men and women's capacity to have amazing sex increases as we mature, since we become more experienced at intimacy, gain knowledge of our own bodies, and get more comfortable in our own skin (literally and metaphorically).
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 9:02 pm
Bravo Spygirl!! 
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 9:35 pm
OK, I'll have to go back and read Mary's long post. When I blurted out that sex was much better at 36 than 56, I was fixated on the explosion of my orgasm. Just that part. It just seemed to be so much more powerful back then. The little blue pill does help. I would hardly think about having sex without it nowadays. It becomes a crutch, a good crutch, but a crutch nonetheless. As Spygirl was alluding to, there are so many other factors in "making love", psychological ones, physical, etc. If the guy is worried whether he's gonna be able to get it up or not, well, that can take away from the experience I would say. Cndeariso was bringing up another problem of the little blue pill. Older men and younger women. My last girlfriend was much younger. It can feel good for a time, until you get tired of the "robbing the cradle" comments...
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 9:39 pm
I wish that people would just be happy for a couple rather than making snide remarks like "robbing the cradle". You hear this sort of thing all of the time. Why take away from something that is working for someone else, whatever the reason?
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 9:46 pm
Good post, Mary. It was honest. Some people tend to label me as negative. I don't see me that way (my myopia?). I see me as honest. As a baby boomer I want to continue my quality of life. I still jog, workout, read, just bought a new computer that is driving me nuts, still go out to movies, just joined a church, going to the Democratic caucus tomorrow, etc. I'm trying new things. Unfortunately the old things, like baseball, that I used to love, as Mary pointed out, don't do it for me much anymore. It's hard to replace something that was a passion. Finding this online community has been a "blessing" for me. I enjoy it. I try to put energy into it. Unless I'm emailing my twin brother this is the first place I come to each morning. 
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Baby
Member
01-08-2006
| Monday, March 20, 2006 - 10:52 pm
Newman, I am wondering why you haven't addressed me or the post that I made to you earlier today? Does it have anything to do with my being in a chair? Does it have anything to do with maybe, because I am differently-abled, you might think I haven't been through the same experiences you are talking about here? I am very curious and would appreciate an honest answer..thanks.
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 5:20 am
Oh, Newman. You'd think by now you would have learned that about 95% of joy in life comes from things other than the physical. Most is mental. I have found that I just seem to get more and more adventurous as life goes on. Failure is not as scary now. I can try something new and if I don't like it or it doesn't work out, I can laugh and move on to something else. Or I can even choose not to do some things that I would have been pressured to try as a younger person. People expect me to have a mind of my own at this age....and you know, I have found that other people are sometimes just plain wrong, so I may as well trust my own opinion about me! I see my own selfishness more at this age....and in that, I think I am less hard on other people. I listen to what they say more....and yes, I have more to contribute to them in the way of advice, but it more often comes from wisdom gained from my failures than things that I have a natural aptitude for. I'm more aware that people get to live their own lives now...there is a whole level where I am not responsible for them and I don't take it personally if they make mistakes. If I survive to the age of my grandparents, I am more than halfway through life. I do have regrets in life and would change certain things if I could. But I accept that I don't get a redo, so I am even more determined to live this last half of my life well. My biggest regret is that I didn't choose to appreciate more...and that I often let the cynical side get the best of me. When it gets down to it, I believe life is a great gift and I am going to live every day as though I am grateful for it. Regretting days as they happen, or even before they happen, seems self-defeating. And I am not a bit interested in defeating me...I plan to be my own biggest cheerleader!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 10:29 am
Yessie said - I believe life is a great gift and I am going to live every day as though I am grateful for it. Regretting days as they happen, or even before they happen, seems self-defeating. And I am not a bit interested in defeating me...I plan to be my own biggest cheerleader! Yessie, way to go! Whoooo hooooooo! I believe! Haleluah! That was awesome, and really set my day on the right path. Thanks! 
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Baby
Member
01-08-2006
| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:51 am
Wonderful advice in the last two posts!
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:31 pm
Baby, One thing, as you get to know me, I don't work near a computer. I'm a mailman. I'm out all day, most days, and only get over here in the morning, and maybe at night, maybe. Sometimes, after I post in the morning, the conversation takes off, and I just don't have time to read it all and respond. I have other sites I write in too, and my twin brother that I email daily. Sometimes I forget to come back here. So, don't take it personal, Baby, ok? I even forgot you were in a chair. It's hard for me to keep everybody straight in my head, especially since I've never met anyone. I read your post in the archive. It's funny, but I don't think of myself as negative. I like a lot of things about myself AND I don't try to change them. I focus on the stuff I want to change, focus on those negatives, which is why I come across as negative. I think of myself as someone who is much more enthusiastic about life than most. I put a lot of energy into this site, try to bring up topics that we boomers all face, get vulnerable, open up, be honest, take risks, write, think, and so forth. I really think I give back a lot to life, moreso than most. It just might not come across that way, Baby ...
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:43 pm
Jimmer, Human nature is a funny thing. You would think that friends would root for their friends. Instead, sometimes jealousy factors in. When I wrote the "robbing the cradle" comment, I was actually thinking of myself. No one actually said that phrase. I was just very sensitive to it. I thought that must be what they were thinking. I would be, <chuckling>. I'm for whatever works, for each person in a relationship. For me, if the person is too young, well, I don't think it would work. I want to be able to talk about the Beatles or the Vietnam War or just stuff that our boomer age group has gone thru. I suppose a really special younger person is possible for me, but then I would be thinking, "why would she want to be with ME?" I know, I know...I can hear Mocha saying, "Man up." <more chuckling> Yesitsme, you struck a chord there. I don't want to sleepwalk thru the last part of my life either. I don't want to just do things out of habit. I want to find new things to get excited about and I want to pat myself on the back for at least trying, even if it doesn't work out. Tonight I went to my Democratic caucus. Maybe I didn't give it enough time, but I was getting bored, and I wanted to get back here, and read and write with my online community on my new computer. Hey...I think I made the right choice 
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Abby7
Member
07-17-2002
| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 9:48 pm
newman, i only check this thread out once every few days. for that reason, i don't post here. the one time i did, you responded with something about my post being a sort of a "gotcha' post". which was not true. (eta: i thought you wanted advice. when you got advice, you seemed to not want it. well, that's how i took it. and you thought i responded to get you...or something like that. which was stupid imo) however, just so you know, i find this thread very interesting. one day i may go back and read it from the beginning. that way, i will feel i have a "right" to post my opinion. so, thanks newman for starting this thread. it's quite interesting. i also want to thank you for the courage you have for expressing your opinion here....knowing that it might not be a "popular" opinion. i really admire you for that.
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Baby
Member
01-08-2006
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 1:51 am
Newman, trust me! I don't take what you say personally! Not a problem! And by the way, I do know mail carriers are not sitting in front of a computer all day!!!
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 8:30 am
I'd like to clarify one thing. Not "all boomers" face the topics Newman brings up.
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Marysafan
Member
08-07-2000
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 8:50 am
I think what Newman is discussing is aging. The front end of the boomer wave has reached that stage where physical, hormonal, and emotional changes are taking place.
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Penguingirl
Member
01-26-2006
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 9:16 am
ACK! I recently heard on a tv one of those, "if you're between the ages of...". Wait, they really didn't say my age did they? Like those persistent little chin hairs weren't enough to remind me I'm getting older...lol. So, make some room folks cuz I guess I've arrived.
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 10:02 am
i also think that most things in this thread are discussed 'in general' and not all inclusive.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 12:50 pm
And to continue clarifying... I am definitely on the front end of the boomer wave. As are many of my friends. So, no, not "all boomers" face the topics Newman brings up.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 12:51 pm
Whew thx for clearing that up Costa. 
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 1:00 pm
Well, heck, no one faces ALL the same things someone else does, do they? 
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Jeep
Member
10-17-2001
| Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 1:22 pm
Of course not Karuuna, but I want to hear about everything from everyone! At this age, I am full of opinions (and maybe something else LOL), even if I haven't had the same experience. Maybe that's just curosity.
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