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Archive through February 07, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through February 07, 2006 users admin

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Merrysea
Member

08-13-2004

Saturday, January 28, 2006 - 11:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Merrysea a private message Print Post    
I pay bills online but never through automatic deductions because I am self-employed, and my income isn't steady. I want to make sure I actually have the money before I send it out!

Colordeagua
Member

10-25-2003

Saturday, January 28, 2006 - 12:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Colordeagua a private message Print Post    
Am I getting old.... It's the ol' checks and snail mail all the way for me. For various reasons, don't trust the 'puter and web enough to do it that way.

I really laugh when utilities here ask for automatic deductions from checking accounts to pay those bills. Like they never make mistakes in billing?!

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Saturday, January 28, 2006 - 4:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rupertbear a private message Print Post    
I guess I am so fond of milk that drinking it hot/warm does not taste nasty to me in the least and it really does work.

Springer
Member

03-12-2004

Saturday, January 28, 2006 - 6:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Springer a private message Print Post    
A 39 cent stamp is worth it to me for snail mail. Just don't trust the security of the computer.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 8:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Mocha, could you explain to me how I would do that? I'm serious. I'm not even sure what a blog is. (Or a file for that matter).

Springer, I hear you. I am a mailman. I realize I'm sorta slitting my own throat by paying for stuff online, but...it's the future, it seems like less of a hassle. As for security, I myself, have placed checks in the wrong mailbox. It happens. It's embarassing. Usually the patron will kick it back and then I get it to the right person, but what if they don't? Just saying that snail mail isn't fool proof either.

Max, I wish I had seen your post earlier. Of course...put it on the credit card for miles!

Which brings up a related subject, credit cards. I stopped using my "miles" credit card because I don't travel much. I have another card that gives me money back for purchases. Which is the best card to have, to use?

The reason I didn't put it on the credit card, you know, like my phone bill, was because the card expires, and then you have to go online and fix that with the new expiration date. Hassle. But it's worth the hassle, I guess, because you get "points" or something back...


Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 10:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
Newman, I have two credit cards that I use. One gives me frequent flyer miles on United (which I used to fly for business). Last time I used those miles, they got me a free flight to Australia. :-) The other gives me points towards Amazon.com purchases. The first time I used it, I got a $30 credit at Amazon.com, which I promptly used for an accessory for my new iPod.

There are so many different kinds of "point" credit cards nowadays that you can find one for just about any interest you have. Most expiration dates (at least on my cards) are two or three years away and it's easy to go online and update the information when needed. :-)

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 11:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Here's a blogger site to get you started: link

It's an online journal and you can set it up to receive comments or not. I'm sure you don't need that part. I started one last year but then got out of writing in it. I may go back cause the other blog I have isn't anonymous and this one is.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 12:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I don't have credit cards.

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 2:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Hi all,

I am a fairly new poster (long time lurker, though). I have been faithfully reading this thread and find it very interesting. It also gives me lots of food for thought since I am a baby boomer, myself.

Some of the things you all are going through I can't relate to as much as the rest of you. But, even though I am in a wheelchair, most of these thoughts are relative to my life. Many people feel like a person in a chair hasn't had the same life experiences. Many times, that just isn't true. And, I guess I am proof of that.

Even though I was born with my disability and have acquired many other health problems in my life, I am still the same as others. I did use to walk (with braces and crutches), I have never gone to a special school (Catholic all the way thru college), I drove a car, dated, went to parties and bars, did my share of experimenting with things I shouldn't have (back in the sixties and seventies it was kinda the thing to do, unfortunately), got married, got divorced (thankfully) had a child, have two grandsons, worked a full time job, live on my own, etc. So, although I may look different (stuck in this chair) and have gone through many life experiences others have not, I am still kicking and still a baby boomer.

I just wanted to put my two cents in since I have so enjoyed this thread and maybe give a different type of 'food for thought' to some of you!

Please keep this thread going..it is one of my favorite at the TVClubhouse..thanks!

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 11:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Juju2bigdog a private message Print Post    
I think that is very prudent of you, Mocha. Good way to stay out of trouble.

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Monday, January 30, 2006 - 8:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
Welcome Baby! Keep posting! One of the things you have probably noticed is that we aren't all identical here and that's one of the best things about it. We're similar in some things and different in others and that gives the conversation a real richness. It sounds to me that you are an interesting, vital person that all of us would love to get to know better...we wouldn't have ever noticed the wheelchair if you hadn't told us!

I pay a lot of my bills online and I absolutely love it. They pay for my stamps and write my checks. It's great....saves me all kinds of time. I love buying online, too. Much of what I have read has said that you run a much greater risk of problems giving your credit card to your waiter in a restaurant than making an online purchase.

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Monday, January 30, 2006 - 12:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Thanks Yes for your kind words and support!

My friends (all able-bodied) have told me the same thing also. They just don't notice the chair thing. Some of my very best friends are black and much younger. My friends and I all say that we don't notice age, disability or color. I am grateful I have people like that in my life. They are the best. In fact, we decided we are going to have a party here at my apartment a week from Saturday. I can't wait because we are all crazy people in our own ways and like to have fun.

I have always been raised with different types of people around me and I am grateful I grew up that way. It does make life more rich for all of us in so many ways!

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 7:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Real quick, late for work as usual...

Thanks Mocha...will try that link tonite, for the blog, when I get home, if I have time...

Max...yeah, good info on credit cards. I need to whip my financial strategy into shape. I like putting it on the credit card, the phone bill, the public service,etc., to get the points. Like that idea.

Mocha, how can you survive in today's world without a credit card? You can't rent a car or anything can you??


Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 7:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I don't need to rent a car but if I did then I have a debit card.

Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 8:23 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Maris a private message Print Post    
I pay for everything online and get all my statements online. I will say this though, my husband did the same thing and thank goodness he kept a spreadsheet (probably not the safest thing to do) which listed all his accounts and passwords. I have since saved it on CD and wiped it from my hard drive, but it made things a lot easier in terms of paying off his accounts and making sure there were no surprises out there. Also switching accounts over to my name was easier too.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 7:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Yeah, I have all my passwords and screen names scribbled in my address book, willy nilly. It would be a mess for my kids to try to figure anything out if I should keel over today. They wouldn't even know to look for the address book.

Also no will. My beneficiaries are probably different too. I keep meaning to get around to all that stuff but never do...


Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 7:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Welcome, Baby. I tend to forget that many people read ONLY and don't post. Lurk. It's so much more fun to participate...post. I recommend it. Newman gives it a thumbs up!

Life seems so hard to me at times, Baby, and I don't see how people in wheelchairs can have such a positive attitude. I think I would be one dark cloud all the time, poor me, poor me, boo hoo. Good for you. I echo what Yesitsme said. That is one good thing about the internet and threads like this. We all are equal. We all are thinking, feeling, and trying to share our thoughts and feelings, trying to communicate...

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 7:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Is there any meaning to life?

As a baby boomer maybe I think about this more than say a Gen X or Gen Y person. (also I don't want this thread to disappear due to inactivity).

Is there any meaning to life? If I look at my life, honestly, I'd say NO. If I look further at other lives, well, I wonder why the two things are connected anyway.

Right now I'm living alone with 3 kids in 3 different states, not close to any of them really, working a job that is not rewarding, and so forth. I get up in the morning so I can have coffee and write either at this site or to my twin brother, who I am also not close to.

Life. You get born. You live. Have some fun. Have some good times and some bad. And then you die. Where's the meaning?

With me, it's always the same. I was expecting more. MORE. Where was true love? Intimacy. Meaning? God?

I have friends and family (sort of, distant as they are). As I age, being honest here, nothing holds as much interest as before. Been there. Done that. I'm not getting smarter. Mostly health is fading. Slowly. What's the point?

Maybe I expected significant "meaning". Trumpet meaning as opposed to subtle flute meaning. Thoughts?


Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 7:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Newman, I don't know about you, but this story relates exactly what I think about the "meaning of life". It is from a Robert Fulghum book called "It was on fire when I laid down on it". It's a story from when he was taking a seminar on Greece, on the island of Crete. The institute there was founded as a place to promote peace, as it was the site of one of the bloodiest battles of WWII. I apologize for the length of the post.



What is the Meaning of Life?

"Are There Any Questions?" An offer that comes at the end of college lectures and long meetings. Said when an audience is not only overdosed with information, but when there is no time left anyhow. At times like that you sure do have questions. Like "Can we leave now?" and "What the hell was this meeting for?" and "Where can I get a drink?"

The gesture is supposed to indicate openness on the part of the speaker, I suppose, but if in fact you do ask a question, both the speaker and audience will give you drop-dead looks. And some fool -- some earnest idiot -- always asks. And the speaker always answers. By repeating most of what he has already said.

But if there is a little time left and there is a little silence in response to the invitation, I usually ask the most important question of all: "What is the meaning of life?"

You never know, somebody may have the answer, and I'd really hate to miss it because I was too socially inhibited to ask. But when I ask, it's usually taken as a kind of absurdist move -- people laugh and nod and gather up their stuff and the meeting is dismissed on that ridiculous note.

Once, and only once, I asked that question and got a serious answer. One that is with me still.

First, I must tell you where this happened, because the place has a power of its own. In Greece again.

Near the village of Gonia on a rocky bay of the island of Crete, sits a Greek Orthodox monastery. Alongside it, on land donated by the monastery, is an institute dedicated to human understanding and peace, and especially to rapprochement between Germans and Cretans. An improbable task, given the bitter residue of wartime.

This site is important, because it overlooks the small airstrip at Maleme where Nazi paratroopers invaded Crete and were attacked by peasants wielding kitchen knives and hay scythes. The retribution was terrible. The populations of whole villages were lined up and shot for assaulting Hitler's finest troops. High above the institute is a cemetery with a single cross marking the mass grave of Cretan partisans. And across the bay on yet another hill is the regimented burial ground of the Nazi paratroopers. The memorials are so placed that all might see and never forget. Hate was the only weapon the Cretans had at the end, and it was a weapon many vowed never to give up. Never ever.

Against this heavy curtain of history, in this place where the stone of hatred is hard and thick, the existence of an institute devoted to healing the wounds of war is a fragile paradox. How has it come to be here? The answer is a man. Alexander Papaderos.

A doctor of philosophy, teacher, politician, resident of Athens but a son of this soil. At war's end he came to believe that the Germans and the Cretans had much to give one another -- much to learn from one another. That they had an example to set. For if they could forgive each other and construct a creative relationship, then any people could.

To make a lovely story short, Papaderos succeeded. The institute became a reality -- a conference ground on the site of horror -- and it was in fact a source of producive interaction between the two countries. Books have been written on the dreams that were realized by what people gave to people in this place.

By the time I came to the institute for a summer session, Alexander Papaderos had become a living legend. One look at him and you saw his strength and intensity -- energy, physical power, courage, intelligence, passion, and vivacity radiated from this person. And to speak to him, to shake his hand, to be in a room with him when he spoke, was to experience his extraordinary electric humanity. Few men live up to their reputations when you get close. Alexander Papaderos was an exception.

At the last session on the last morning of a two-week seminar on Greek culture, led by intellectuals and experts in their fields who were recruited by Papaderos from across Greece, Papaderos rose from his chair at the back of the room and walked to the front, where he stood in the bright Greek sunlight of an open window and looked out. We followed his gaze across the bay to the iron cross marking the German cemetery.

He turned. And made the ritual gesture: "Are there any questions?"

Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for a lifetime, but for now there was only silence.

"No questions?" Papaderos swept the room with his eyes.

So. I asked.

"Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?"

The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.

Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was.

"I will answer your question."

Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter.

And what he said went like this:

"When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.

"I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine -- in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.

"I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child's game but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of light. But light -- truth, understanding, knowledge -- is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.

"I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world -- into the black places in the hearts of men -- and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life."

And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright rays of daylight streaming through the window and reflected them onto my face and onto my hands folded on the desk.

Much of what I experienced in the way of information about Greek culture and history that summer is gone from memory. But in the wallet of my mind I carry a small round mirror still.

Are there any questions?

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 8:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I enjoyed reading that positive perspective Karuuna. Newman’s comments made me think of the following:

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” -- Henry David Thoreau

One sometimes tries to think about how a person can truly make a difference with their life. IMO it is through their interaction with other people. Very little of a material nature is permanent.

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 12:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
Gee, you can answer that "What is the meaning of life?" question lots of different ways and not sure if any answers matter that much really. I guess in some ways I believe the "All is meaningless" and then on the other hand "Nothing is meaningless." When it gets down to it, at the end of your life, what would cause you to say "I did it well"? Then try to set up your life so you can make that statement.

Personally, for me I value my relationships with my family and friends. It's important to me that I know them and that they know me. It's important to me that they know they can count on me to celebrate or mourn or to just hang out. It's important to me that we have fun together.

And speaking of fun, it's important to me that I enjoy life. For me that includes traveling to as many places as I can, but also taking time to enjoy my neighborhood on my morning walks. And books...reading books that make me laugh and sometimes even make me cry....and listening to music, or seeing a good movie.

It's important to me that I change the world in some way. In my job it may be getting someone's insurance claim paid or explaining something to them that they didn't understand or listening when noone else has. Then in the rest of my life it may be raising money that brings about a cure for cancer, or working at the clinic I volunteer in and helping someone get free medical care. It may be teaching my nieces and nephews how to love or how to trust or smiling at a stranger having a bad day.

Personally there are several things that would cause me to say I lived a wasted life. Dying with a closetful of ironed clothes. The only memory people having after visiting my home being my spotless house. No one laughing at my funeral....or no one crying! So far I don't think I am in danger of any of these things happening. But I will keep working on it!

Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 1:11 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
I've found several times in my life that even though I may not think I'm doing anything significant, I really am -- just by living every day.

For example, I have friends who have a 20-something daughter. I've only met her a few times, but when she got hired at a new Yahoo! office here and was told she could invite one guest to the grand opening ceremonies, she invited me. I was mystified. When I asked her why she chose me when she obviously has friends her own age who would love to get a foot in the door there, she told me that I was a role model for her. She said that she admired how I lived on my own terms without requiring a man to define me or support me or "complete" me. She admired my strength and independence. I was shocked and flattered.

I did explain, though, that just because I did all these things didn't mean that I didn't want a man in my life. I just never thought that I needed to wait to have one around before I could do things, achieve things, enjoy things in life.

Anyway, the thing is, you never know who you're influencing just by how you live your life every day. It's like the whole George Bailey syndrome in It's a Wonderful Life. Just because you don't currently see any meaning or that you are causing any change in the world doesn't mean it isn't happening. :-)

Lancecrossfire
Animoderator

07-13-2000

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 4:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lancecrossfire a private message Print Post    
Newman, I might be able to take any heat off of you by answering your question about is there any meaning to life.

In order to answer, some of my beliefs will come out. They aren't particularly popular.

To start with, I think the answer to that is a little…or a lot different for each person. One person may believe that everything is destiny, and they are here to fill a role already established for them. Another may believe the meaning of life is for them to define. One may believe what’s really important is what you believe in, another may think what’s important are the actions you take.

So I guess I leave that for you to decide for yourself. I know how I answer that for myself is different than I have heard others answer it over time.

The concept of affecting others is an interesting one. It provides for unknown as well as known. And in different proportions depending on actions. An executioner can clearly see the affects of their actions. Although they may never know how many people they help to decide the death penalty is a horrible thing—or a good thing. We may stop someone from killing themselves, even if just for another day by a kind action that you would do for anyone.

Do you want meaning to your life? If so, in what way? How do you know you have or haven’t had it happen already?

Given my belief system, it’s my approach to suggest to folks if there is something they want in life, it’s their responsibility to work towards it as best they can.

Smarter. I don’t know that anyone gets smarter as they get older. I think people can gain wisdom. I don’t think they can significantly increase their potential for pure intelligence. But I believe they can increase their ability to more affectively use what they have. For me, that is what wisdom is all about.

In my work, I have to evaluate how well people are getting (picking up) the business of managing hazardous waste (that contains a number of different aspects). One way I do so is to look at the questions they ask. People will ask different questions as they gain more insight into this business. I think it can be done in life as well.

Do you want friends or family to be closer to you? If so, do you feel there are any steps you can take to make it happen?

What do you want life to mean for you? One way to look at potential meaning you have is to consider what would happen to yourself or others if you drastically changed what you did during the day.

What if you took the mail and for as many days as you could get away with it, burned all of it in a fire? Would that have meaning or impact on anyone? If so, then by delivering the mail each day you have impact on someone. In my book that has meaning. Can the impact be mundane? Sure—not all of us can change the interest rates for the whole country.

Do you believe that in your life you have been important to someone? Many teachers see a student for less than one year of the student’s life, yet the student is affected by them for a much longer time. The teacher many never know it. Does that mean any less to the student? I don’t think it does. Of course you could say, “but as the teacher I don’t know it, so it feels like there is no meaning to what I do”

Yes, it may feel that way. So, what can you do to try and change that? Is it important for you to know any impacts you’ve made? Do you just need a hint you’ve made a difference? All questions we each have to answer.

If you expect more, do you have the willingness to be a part of the solution? (an honest question Newman--or anyone else)

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 9:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Karuuna,

First I had to laugh that the inhabitants were called "cretins." (OK, maybe only I think that's funny). Reflecting light into dark places. Sigh. Listening to right wing talk radio on the way home today. The cartoon bruhaha, Denmark, Muslim violence worldwide.

Many Americans want to reprint the cartoons of Mohammed, to taunt the Muslims, to show them we are not afraid, to show them they can't intimidate us. I'm thinking the other way. Why do it? Why stir the pot? Why not learn about their religion and that they do not like pictures of Mohammed depicted in any form. Why not respect their religion? Their culture?

I wrote a letter to the Post regarding that issue. I guess that's my mirror, my reflecting of light. But there is so much darkness in this world of ours...
}

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 9:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
I'm reading these replies slowly, savoring them. Jimmer, I agree with Thoreau. And I fit into that grouping of quiet desperation.

Then there's something you said along with Yesitsme, regarding interacting with people, friends, family. I think that's what I'm focused on now. Making new friends. Not easy to do.

My family is scattered and not close. I've been drifting away from old friends because of politics. And the fact that we don't play softball anymore. I tried to go to a bookclub last night, at the library. Actually I went, but when i got there the group of 6 was all women. I don't like being the only guy in a room. Too awkward.

So it's on to finding/making new friends. Maybe I should volunteer...