Author |
Message |
Baby
Member
01-08-2006
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:28 pm
Why, Jimmer, that is a mighty good point, I'd say!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:29 pm
Why thank you Baby!!! 
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:29 pm
Of course, Jimmer. I'm 5'7 and weigh all of 150 pounds. Why would some gal who weighed 190 want to be with me???
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:31 pm
You're not seriously asking whether a "gal" would want to be with you are you?
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Baby
Member
01-08-2006
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:32 pm
Why, thank you, Jimmer for the star! I think it's a star. Good point, Newman!
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:35 pm
If anyone else had posted the word gal it wouldn't be a problem for anyone. If gal isn't ok, then we are not going to allow guy to be used.
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:38 pm
I don't have a problem with gal. I just put quotes around it because I was referring to his post.
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:39 pm
Then if your issue isn't with the word gal you are baiting him and slamming him with your question. STOP IT IMMEDIATELY
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:40 pm
I think there are more general ways to let someone know you don't think you have a future with them, without telling them it is that 40 lb, or that they are way too thin, hairy, bald, short, tall, dirty, sweaty, smokey, liberal/conservative etc. I can't remember his name, but there was a famous jockey who lived around here who was married to a woman who was over six feet tall. So you ever know who would be attracted to you, really.
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:40 pm
I still wanna scream about this topic. Recently finished posting about my girl getting implants. Her hubby doesn't like how they sag. He tells her she's fat and supports her by holding her feet at night while she does 200 sit ups. (His idea) He's 21 and wow, I keep hoping his attitude towards women will change. Somethings never change. It's men like my SIL that make me so angry. He wants a trophy wife. 10 lbs over weight is too much in his mind. People like my SIL promote the negative treatment of women, Destroy self-esteem and can really damage people. I think in relationships, telling the other they are fat, ugly and etc is abuse. When honesty becomes belittling and berating...then it has no worth. It's just a control issue of the one berating. My SIL doesn't care about my daughter's weight because of HER health...he cares about it for his ego. (What a sad little man my SIL is)
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:40 pm
"Oh, no, Wendo. Not saying that at all. If she were 40 pounds overweight that would still be a deal breaker. However, if she were a smoker, well, there might be some wiggle room." Ah, good to know. 40 pound overweight women = undateable.
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:43 pm
"I think there are more general ways to let someone know you don't think you have a future with them, without telling them it is that 40 lb, or that they are way too thin, hairy, bald, short, tall, dirty, sweaty, smokey, liberal/conservative etc." Exactly Seamonkey. That was my point. Why would anyone want to outright say to someone that they're 40 pounds overweight. Just seems mean to me.
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:45 pm
I completely agree Kearie. Honesty is one thing. Abuse is something else. That's unbelievable about your SIL; he holds your DD feet to do situps? Wow.
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:45 pm
Wendo, you know that addressing moderating on the board is against the rules. STOP IT
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:46 pm
Wendo...every night before bed. 200...ain't he sweet to want her so healthy? <blech>
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Baby
Member
01-08-2006
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:49 pm
Sorry, I know this is off topic, but, since I am posting..I Miss You, Kearie!
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:50 pm
The subject of Kearie’s daughter and her Son in law demanding that her daughter have her breasts enlarged came up in another thread. As I posted there, I think that is very sad. If she were my daughter I would have preferred that he had taken the other approach and decided up front what physical characteristics he preferred and not married her in the first place. So maybe up front assessment of physical characteristics isn't a completely bad thing. It's better than trying to make someone into something that they aren't
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:51 pm
ahhh shucks I miss you...answer your phone!!!
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:52 pm
Kearie, that just sounds awful. I'm truly sorry.
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:57 pm
<77> Wendo, I think we are confusing a few things here. One is honesty. Another is choice in a mate. I said I wouldn't want to go out with someone who was 40 pounds overweight. My choice. I wouldn't have to tell her that, would I? And I wouldn't. I just wouldn't call her up. Wendo, it's still ok for me to choose to go out with "fit" women, isn't it? Kearie, you could tell your SIL that situps really aren't the answer. You can't isolate weight loss in one area like that. She'd be better off doing aerobic exercise for 30 minutes a day. That burns calories. Just some unsolicited advice <maybe you could give it to your daughter instead of going thru SIL).
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:59 pm
He expects her to be that Playboy model with the perfect body, perfect make up...he wants a stepford wife with a Pamela Anderson body. I hate it.
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:01 am
...
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:02 am
Newman---she doesn't need to lose weight. She's 5'2" and weighs 115 lbs. She's thin, she's fit...she's not perfect and he's a jerk.
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Max
Moderator
08-12-2000
| Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:03 am
It takes two to tango. It took me seven years to decide that I didn't need to participate in the verbal punching match with my ex any longer. He couldn't make me feel small unless I participated, so I opted out. Kearie, I'm sorry your daughter is going through this with her BF. But bottom line, it's her choice to stay and her choice to believe what he tells her or to tell him to go spit. I wish there were something you could say to her to change her mind about staying in such a situation and altering her body in an attempt to make him happy (he'll likely just find something else to criticize instead), but it's like most things -- unless she chooses to help herself, there's not a lot you can do except love her.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:03 am
Yes but what is so frustrating to me is that people are very upset that someone would consider not dating someone else for physical reasons. Yet wouldn't the world be a better place for Kearie and her daughter if her SIL had actually done that? Having seen her picture, I hope you don't mind my saying that IMO Kearie's daughter looks wonderful.
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