Author |
Message |
Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 12:54 pm
Sex? I have a very distant memory of it. WOW? That memory is even more distant and might have even been a dream.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 1:18 pm
I guess this is as good a place to put this as any. There are moments in our lives that are etched in our minds forever and I had one of those moments today. This morning I participated in a deathbed will execution at a hospital. The woman is dying of cancer and it's is just a very sad situation. While we were there, the husband was hovering over her, giving her water, holding her hand, etc. The couple did not speak English so one of the attorneys acted as a translator. Afterwards he said that while the husband was holding her up to sign the will, his wife looked up at him and told him that she was okay and to quit shaking. The moment etched in my mind? When the husband reached over and wiped water off his wife's chin it took all I had not to cry. On our way back to the office I told the attorneys I was with that's the kind of man I want - one that will wipe my chin when I'm dying.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 1:22 pm
Oh my g/d Native ... that is a beautiful, sad story! Yes, that is a husband. Taking care of his wife until the very end. And it isn't about the sex. And it isn't about the wow. It's about the love of two people. Thank you for sharing!
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 1:26 pm
yep, that's love. i hope everyone can do this: just type "love is... " and then tell us of that moment between you and a special someone. and even if the relationship went sour, or it's still going on. love is... having a husband who will shave your legs before you deliver your child.
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 1:30 pm
Love is...looking into their eyes and knowing your "home", no matter where you are.
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 1:50 pm
Love is actually very similar neurochemically to obsessive/compulsive disorder. People who are in the early stages of love not only exhibit very similar behaviors to someone with OCD, synaptic firing is virtually identical as well. So when someone suggests they are in love, give them a wide berth. They are actually mentally ill.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 1:54 pm
Oh that's beautiful Nt.
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Max
Moderator
08-12-2000
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:03 pm
I had an English Comp class in college where the prof told us one day to write "Love is. . ." at the top of the page and take the rest of the class time to explore the thought. The next class session, she read my essay. I wish I had a copy of it, but I don't. Instead of writing "Love is. . ." this or that thing, I wrote a short story about an old woman who used her last few pennies to buy a can of tuna. She then went back to her small apartment and shared it with her cat. The crazy thing is, I seem to be becoming that woman! ACK!
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:07 pm
LOL Adven. Love is giving my daughter the marachino cherry off the sundae every time -- even when she's too young to realize there's a cherry and I could eat it without her even noticing it.
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:13 pm
LOL Adven!
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:16 pm
Another etched moment: When my grandma died one month shy of their 60th anniversary, my about-as-country-as-you-can-get grandpa, who had cared for her for several years after a debilitating stroke, asked me to help him pick out a stone. I picked one that was carved as two interlocking hearts. He said he liked that one also but he wasn't sure it was right for old people. I told him no one is ever too old to be in love and he said "Well, that's good because I'm still in love with your grandma." Obviously, I'm feeling rather mushy today. I've noticed in the last several weeks that I've been starting to think about how nice it would be to have someone to just talk to and cuddle with. I'm not talking sex because I am nowhere near ready for that one yet. Just companionship for now. Maybe I'm about ready to start testing the waters? I am not trying to be sarcastic, but can 40- or 50-something men handle a relationship like that?
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:24 pm
NT ... I love your story about your grandfather. It's lovely and inspiring! So, I've been known to wear these "rose colored" glasses but I believe there is always a chance on true love. I am 40 years old and I am very happily dating a wonderful 50 year old man. Yes, there are men out there who want to be in a relationship, who are compassionate and loving. No they are not all perfect, who is, but it would be for you to decide what your priorities are. I believe it's about timing. And opportunity. Like Dr. Phil says, a wonderful, single man is NEVER going to come and knock on your door. LOL!!
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:26 pm
Brenda, I give my marachino cherries to Travis too, but does it still count since it's because I don't like them.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:39 pm
Vacanick, I'm talking about a relationship that doesn't guarantee sex on the third date. Or even the 30th date (I'll admit that might be a tad extreme, but one can never tell). I'm not interested in casual sex. I've already been there and done that in another life. I've always been the type that fell hard and fast and obviously that hasn't worked out too well for me. So, I'm thinking the slow and steady approach might work better. Of course, there's also the small matter of trust.
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Jimmer
Member
08-30-2000
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:55 pm
Does anyone remember the couple that was on The Amazing Race. They were virgins who had been dating for something like 12 years?
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 2:57 pm
Sorry, Native I don't think it counts if you'd just throw the cherry away anyways. Have you tried eharmony or other online dating? I think if you're upfront about wanting a buddy, not a physical relationship, you'll certainly weed out a lot of guys and who knows what you'll find.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 3:08 pm
So, if you are in a monogamous relationship with someone that has not yet resulted in sex, they only qualify as a buddy? That sounds kinda sad.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 3:12 pm
Hmm monogamous and not getting any? Well that ain't for me.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 3:19 pm
One of my very best friends for years & years is a man. We've never so much as kissed. And yes, he's a buddy. He's a great friend but that's all. And it's okay ... but he also has a wife and I have my BF. There is a difference. 
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 3:39 pm
Wow! I must be sounding like a real prude. I'm talking about at least waiting until we are both sure there is a future to the relationship. I don't want to have sex with someone that I know is not going to be around in a month or two. Vacanick, I have male friends like that (single and married) that I call buddies. That's why it struck me as odd that I would refer to someone I was dating as my buddy.
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 3:47 pm
You don't sound like a prude at all. You sound like someone with strong convictions ... and there is nothing wrong with that. I have a girlfriend who is divorced and has been dating a man for over one year. They have never had sex. And she will not have sex with him until they marry. She isn't a prude, she has strong convictions.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 3:49 pm
Native, yes, I can guarantee you that there are men like that. I'm dating one now. It took 8 years of being single to find him. The passionate feelings were there from the first time our eyes met; but I knew I wanted to go slowly. For the first time ever, I found myself dating a man who made it clear that he thought I was the most desirable woman in the world, while at the same time made it clear that there would never be the slightest pressure to be intimate until I was ready. And even when I said I was, he stopped and looked me in the eye and softly said "are you sure?" in a way that said it was perfectly okay with him, either way. It was one of those moments that I felt fully understood, respected and cherished just for who I was; not for what I could do for someone else. That would be my "love is" story.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 4:06 pm
Vacanick, good for your friend. That is what I am leaning towards. The way I look at it is the man I choose to have sex with will be someone I would want to marry and in order to feel that way I will have to have nothing less than absolute trust in that person. Anyone who knows my history knows that will be a tall order to fill. I also come as a package deal. That man will more than likely have to serve as my son's main role model and he will have to accept and love my son as his own and be able to cope with his problems. I figure if I find someone who can be all that, the sky's the limit.
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 4:07 pm
Kar....that's what I call the feeling of being "home" with someone.
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 5:47 pm
Here is a love story. I was listening to a country western station at work. A girl called in and requested the Brad Paisley song "He didn't have to be." This is a song about a boy whose mom gets dates until they find about about him. Then along comes a man who finds out about him, includes him while dating his mom, marries her and becomes the father "he didn't have to be." The girl making the request said she and her girlfriends were addressing her wedding invitations. That song was the one she would be dancing to with her stepdad at her wedding and she wanted to hear it while she made out the invitations.
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