Author |
Message |
Legalboxer
Member
11-17-2003
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 9:37 am
i want to hear too mocha - please
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 9:43 am
Well, I guess there are a few instances when kissing can be more intimate than sex, but I think that is rare. I always cracked up at that part of the movie (hmmmm....could it have been written by a man? I don't know but that would be interesting.) I still think of kissing as the thing with which all things start and build. I like that, so hope it doesn't change! And I think of kissing as one of those layered things. There is kissing and there is KISSING! When sex gets to be about pressure, in my mind it ceases to be fun. I don't like being pressured in any manner....that has never caused me to enjoy life more and that causes me to turn away. Sex should be about pleasure. Even as a teenager when a guy said "If you loved me you would" I would roll my eyes and say "Take me home!" One had nothing to do with the other! And yes, I think I am conscious of the guy's needs too and if they don't match up with mine then they need to find another girl. I may not like it, but I won't whine! I respect people knowing what they want and need, whether it matches my decisions for myself or not. But heck, I am 45 now and have known what is right for me for a long, long time! But what that is today may change tomorrow.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 9:48 am
MO-CHA!!!! MO-CHA!!!! MO-CHA!!!!

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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 9:52 am
Mocha, if anyone picks on you I will lead the gang that beats them up! Well, if they pick on you unnecessarily.
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Merrysea
Member
08-13-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 9:58 am
I'm not discounting sex early on, but I also want to know that a relationship is based on more than that, and it seems that when you jump in too soon, it becomes all about the sex. Sex can be wonderful and fantastic, but if that's all there is, the relationship won't last. I want to know that if something were to happen that we couldn't have sex, we would still want to be together. And kissing is an important way to feel close to someone, even without it going any further!
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Legalboxer
Member
11-17-2003
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:00 am
no one dares pick on mocha knowing we are here behind her 
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Wendo
Member
08-07-2000
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:02 am
Like Jimmer, I have friends (and family) who drink alcohol and who don't drink alcohol. However, I would never base whether I trust them or not on whether they drink alcohol. Basing trust on whether or not someone drinks alcohol seems irrational to me. Like saying, "If you don't eat a ham sandwich, I won't trust you." How bizarre. ETA: Now, about those BOB's......
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:04 am
I agree Wendo, that statement caught me off guard. How bizarre!
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:12 am
We are getting very close to the line of putting someone down for their opinion.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:26 am
There he is!!!
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:35 am
I think I'll pass posting my thoughts. It seems differing perspectives are ok for some to have, but not for others to have. I'll pass on taking the chance of falling into the latter group, and pass on being allowed in the former group when others are not.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:47 am
i met a man, went out on what was supposed to be a 3 hour date, it turned into a 15 hour date. we couldn't stop talking. we kissed. we <bleeped>. not made love. we <bleeped>. straight, down and dirty. i was engaged to him 2 months later. and i've been married to him for almost 18 years. call me all the names you want. i don't care. i've been happy for a dang long time. and i'd do it the same way all over again.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:53 am
Newman, you said: quote:That's why I don't trust people who don't drink. Seriously. Beer and wine help to break down the inhibitions, help people to relax a little, and put them in the mood for love.
I took exception with your generalization of "people." Maybe it was your choice of words. Maybe you should have said "alcohol helps ME to break down inhibitions." But you didn't, and the generalization is what I found wrong and what I take exception to. I don't have a problem with you, but I do have very serious problems with broad generalizations. It's like the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness -- aggressiveness is "you" (you do this) where assertiveness is "I" (I feel this).
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:55 am
Oh, and Landi! LMAO!!!!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:03 am
Lance, you are so right!
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:07 am
About kissing, sex and prostitution... A gal I grew up with in Montana become a heroine addict and turned to prostitution to support her habit. She also told me that they, her buddy prostitutes, don't kiss their 'dates'. She said you can just lay there and think..."beige, I think I'll paint it beige." while you're with the 'date' ... but you can't do that when you're kissing someone.
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Native_texan
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:09 am
C-Granny, is that any way to talk in front of your C-Granddaughter?
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:10 am
I've been trying to come up with some good names to call Landi. Hmmmmm.....not a creative bone in my body today! But I will keep thinking since it is "Open Name Calling on Landi Day." We wouldn't have half the fun we have around here if Newman didn't give his opinions. It never fails to provoke great comments. In fact, my guess is that sometimes (often) that is his intent...
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:10 am
Kearie, I don't work by a computer. Right now this thread is exploding. I haven't had time to keep up and read everything. And it's not simple to keep going back and forth to your message and then back to this, what I'm writing, since you are now in the archive. You put down 3 things. Wish I could remember them. Women want to feel safe and secure. Well, men want to feel excited, want to feel wanted,liked. Me, personally, I like to be seduced. Women should know (and why is generalizing a crime, Costacat?) that men love sex (in general, most men, is this how you really want me to write, how cumbersome is that to have to soften every single sentence so nobody's feelings get hurt). So it's the battle of wanting sex with her, having a good time, waiting for her to make a move, give some kind of sign, show some interest in that direction. She is waiting to feel comfortable and safe, you say, in general of course. But if I have to wait (generally speaking) too long for IT to happen, then I start losing my confidence, my drive, my interest. Why doesn't she want to kiss me, I think? Doesn't she like me? I don't want to force her to like me. I don't want to have to sell myself. If she doesn't like me, ok then, it wasn't meant to be. It's better for both of us that we go our separate ways. Kearie, are you understanding what I'm saying here? How long do I wait? Unfortunately I typed in 3 dates. That's from memory, history. In the past, if things are going full speed ahead, everything is great, every date is great, why wouldn't it naturally lead to sex? If there is passionate kissing involved, in the past, that has always led to sex. Now, if she stops the kissing, or doesn't kiss back, or backs off...well, then, that's a definite signal. I suppose a wondering, tense discussion would ensue. Rejection hurts...at any age...
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:16 am
<77> Let's flesh it out a bit. Alcohol relaxes me and I assume it has the same effect on others (generally speaking of course). Dating is a high stress situation. You're hoping it works out. You're optimistic. There could be a future here. I hope I don't say something stupid. I hope I don't run out of things to say. All sorts of expectations are clogging the neurons. A drink or two helps you relax, so you can be yourself, be natural, and see where the conversation will go. Here's a typical stereotyping that I might do. If she shows up on my date, driving a Hummer, with a W in '04 bumper sticker, I'm sorry. I'm going to generalize. I'm thinking, whoah, this will never work out. <77>
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:18 am
i remember my first date with dh on my 32nd birthday. the first song that came on the radio was the one about 'i'd make love to you in a new york minute and take my texas time doing it' or something like that. i was kind of uncomfortable! that song ran through my head the entire date LOL. we actually went out several times before we 'did it'. i told him on our first date, "i don't kiss on the first date, but i am going to marry you some day", and he didn't run. we still laugh about that. i shook his hand goodnight and kind of gave him a little hug. and this is funny: the first time we made love it was on a twin bed with holly hobby sheets and bedspread! i got some furniture from my dad's house when i left massachusetts with only my baby and some clothes. i got my stepsister's bed and linens from when she was 8!
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Jimmer
Member
08-30-2000
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:19 am
I guess what got some attention was that you specifically mentioned three dates. I'm sure that you didn't mean that you inflexibly stick to that regimen and at the end of the third date, if nothing happens you say "You're not doing it so I'm outa here!" You might even wait until a fourth date. Seriously, I think it's normal for some men to want things to progress more quickly to the sex stage than others.
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:21 am
Yes Newman, but sometimes it's not about you. It's not rejection of YOU. It's HER not being ready. She may find you sexy, attractive an exciting kisser. You may get her hormones going wild. She just may not be emotionally ready. Couldn't you discuss it calmly and realize it's not rejection of YOU. I just think by putting such high priority on sex in dating, and in my mind..."getting to know someone", you risk missing out on some really wonderful relationships. It's not a good idea to fall in love, you might have to dig your way out. Instead, step carefully into love.
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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:26 am
Alcohol makes me throw up(2 drinks). Anyone want to take me out for a few and loosen me up? 
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Friday, March 03, 2006 - 11:26 am
Newman, maybe I am not getting it or maybe your opinion set out in black and white doesnt come across accurately but what I am seeing sounds like the prevailing opinion guys I went to college had. The idea that a woman who is willing to loosen up and puts out early is your kind of girl seems like an opinion that makes a relationship doomed to failure. To be honest if a guy said to me hey lets loosen up and have a drink, I would be running for the hills. Do you go out on a date wondering, as soon as you walk out the door to pick her up, whether you are going to get laid? Is that the dominant focus of your dates?
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