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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 4:52 pm
extreme campanology extreme campanology is practised by a growing number of members of the bell-ringing fraternity. Instead of letting go of the ropes after ringing the bell, the daredevil campanologist hangs on to the rope and rides to the top of the belfry. It can be quite a spectacle with multiple bell-ringers jumping up and down.
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 4:53 pm
matchbox brumming The world matchbox brumming championships, held in Stoke on Trent this year, was won by 40 year old Randy Peighknut from Shepton Mallet who brummed his matchbox down the Hanley ring road, across Abi Titmuss and David Gower, bumping into three old ladies and a small dog before performing a beautiful 'handbrake' turn outside a Happy Shopper mini-mart. All matchboxes are standard Swan Vesta issue.
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 4:57 pm
cardinal chucking You might think the recent phemonena of 'dwarf throwing' as something shocking, but this is nothing compared to what used to go on with the Anti-Popes of Avignon. Bored and cheesed off with not being the real Pope, the Anti-Popes of the 13th and 14th century used to partake in a bit of cardinal chucking. This entailed literally throwing diminutive senior clerics using a catapult at a massive ecclesiatical 'dart board'. A bull's eye was known as a monk's tonsure and if you missed altogether of course you got 'nun'. This is also why bishops hats are so sharp and pointy, just in case a pope pops in and wants a bit of a 'chuck'.
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 3:25 pm
eyebrow frump Now no eyebrow frump has the excuse not be up with the latest fashions. Companies like Gucci, Prada and McVities are developing a new range of eyebrow jewellry such as bells, golden ducks (and drakes), zirconium cheese wedges and mint-scented candles. These items are specifically designed to benefit the visually hirsute and will be a welcome attraction to any fat-faced hairy muttonhead.
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, April 26, 2006 - 4:05 pm
backchat flap Pep up your moggy's miserable life by adding some light and witty repartee every time they enter the house. The new backchat flap has 15 preset phrases to delight your dim-witted cat, including: -- That's purrrrrrfect timing, your tea's ready! -- Oooh, you really are the cat's whiskers! -- cat, cat, where have you been? Down the by the rubbish bins with that Tom from number 47 again, I bet!
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