Author |
Message |
Mameblanche
Member
04-13-2005
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:37 pm
So many wonderful (NON-adversarial) posts today. So glad we can posit without posturing. Nice going gang. POSIT: To put forward, as for consideration or study... And Adven, I'm not in the least surprised by your post. You're one clever cookie, who just likes to keep your light under a bushel. (Now a bushel of what... I'm not gonna speculate. LOL)
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 12:43 pm
Oh hush Mame lol.
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Mameblanche
Member
04-13-2005
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 1:01 pm

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Kearie
Member
07-21-2005
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 1:07 pm
Newman...do you believe in anything super-natural or spiritual? Do you believe it exists? Black Magik, demon possession, anything of that sort? It gets some media attention, but to your knowledge is any of that stuff provable? Just curious...same question for you Lance.
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Adven
Member
02-06-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 1:20 pm
You're right, MB. Under the whoopie cushions and Groucho glasses, I'm deep, baby!
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 1:22 pm
Deep, deeper than Atlantis Deeper than the sea floor traveled by the Mantas... lyrics from Xclan.
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Mameblanche
Member
04-13-2005
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:06 pm

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Mameblanche
Member
04-13-2005
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:20 pm
So folks, how is the dating scene nowadays, in singledom? This old married lady is curious to know. I've been out of that scene for quite a while now. Do you still need references and someone's medical records dating back to the 1980's, and blood samples? Did I really get out of that ratrace in the nick of time, or is it not that bad...
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:31 pm
For me dating has been a very fun and enlightening experience. I always ask if they're on any mind altering drugs and if they have any std's, when was the last time they were tested, etc.
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Rabbit
Animoderator
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:33 pm
And someone with STDs and high on mind bending drugs can be trusted to answer that truthfully?
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:40 pm
i've only been out of the single life for 4 years and i was single for 12. anyone that tried to pressure me into having sex with i insisted they show me the results of 2 HIV tests taken 6 months apart. nipped that in the bud quickly. i also have worked for various local governments over the years and had no problem getting background information - if i really wanted it. mostly i made all my first dates at lunch so i had a quick getaway. i did fairly well at assessing someone during that one hour. i also stated up front that i did not cook, clean house, wash my car or do yard work - that i had been there and done that. now, i work so that i could pay others to do that for me. weeded out a lot of them really quickly that way too. LOL most importantly i let it be known that i did not want to get married ever again. it took a lot for my dh to convince me that i should rethink that idea.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:43 pm
Cnd lol I'd say the same thing about cooking and cleaning. Well Rabbit I might not answer truthfully so there ya go. I like going to the movies as a first date cause you don't have to think of something to talk about and it's a public place. And the std thing is taken care of by using condoms.
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Jimmer
Member
08-30-2000
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:50 pm
I’ve been reading as much as I can, but I haven’t had a chance to comment in the last little while so I have a little catching up to do. First of all, may I say that there have been many wonderful posts that have given me a lot to think about. Grannyg, thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed response to try to help me with my questions about faith. If I understand correctly, I think you are saying that we have “faith” in other things that we don’t fully understand, so why can’t we have faith in God? Maybe I’m too cynical, looking for convincing evidence of God in trying to understand how faith works? As you suggested, if I did that with everything that I don’t understand I’d wear myself out very quickly! Kearie, You asked Newman and Lance if they believe in anything supernatural or spiritual (black magik, demon possession, etc.). I think that if people believe something strongly enough it can influence their ability to perform and accomplish things, but I don’t believe in the supernatural. With respect to dating, I haven't dated in a long time, but one thing that I did learn that I suspect hasn't changed is that you either click with another person or you don't. Generally speaking, if you aren't getting some sort of positive feedback, there is very little chance of changing that. It's not impossible, but it's not likely.
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 2:50 pm
Aly Cat, I don't believe in the things you mentioned.
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Grannyg
Member
05-28-2002
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:01 pm
Sorry Kearie, had internet issues last night. The dang thing wouldn't stay connected. Yes I think faith and trust are interchangable. I totally agree that religion can be many different things. But faith or trust can only be one thing. To me that's the difference. Don't lump everyone into a catagory saying she's baptist or she's catholic. While they may be that, that is not what makes you have faith or trust. That comes from within your own heart and mind. I totally agree with Kar, Max and Kearie. You are trying to get someone to tell you who God is and what he looks like and how you know he's real. Well one of these days, you will have all the answers. I just hope you are ready for them when they come along. And with that, I'm finished with this discussion and I like the one it has turned to. lol
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:06 pm
Granny helps me keep up with my dates for me. Oh and if yall didn't know, Jesus was a black man.
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:08 pm
what i found most interesting, not only in the men i dated but my women friends that were dating along the same time as i, was that very few were interested in getting to know the other person. yes, i am generalizing here and this is based soley on my experience and observation. i became single again at age 30 in 1990 and did not remarry until 2002. as my mom put it so well i switched dates more often than i changed my underwear - which by the way wasn't true. LOL i did date a lot of people. i was looking for men to go out with and spend time with enjoying mutual interests. what i found were men that wanted to have sex immediately after saying hello. most of my women friends were the same way with their dates. so, it isn't just a guy thing. well, hell, i could have sex anytime i wanted with or without a man so i didn't find that to be very important to the relationship. i am very open minded and definitely not a prude. i just wanted to get to know someone and them me before taking that leap. another thing i found was that there are a lot of lonely people out there that will do just about anything for companionship. there are no good places for folks to meet one another anymore. i rarely went to a bar and find that to be a bad place to meet someone anyway. my friends and i have different tastes so the match making thing never did very well. oh, and mom trying to fix me up with her friends' sons didn't work either. just because daddy is wonderful doesn't necessarily translate into the son. heck, if dad is so great why didn't she fix me up with him???? and, what's with all the married folks wanting to cheat on their spouses? just get a divorce and be done with it. if they were seeking a thrill why didn't they try bungie jumping? don't get me wrong i had a blast dating those 12 years. and if dh hadn't come along i'd still be out there going strong.
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Lancecrossfire
Animoderator
07-13-2000
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:12 pm
FOr me, you have to have trust if you have faith, since it's belief without question. Nut you don't have to have faith to trust someone or something. A religion is a set of rules. In most cases a very extensive set, but a set of rules non the less. I would hope folks can find what works best for themselves, and at the same time be ok with others doing the same. Sadly, based on the fact more people have been killed in wars in the name of religion than all other reasons combined, I don't think it's happened at all times in history. From what I have gathered, the rules of any religion seems ot have good intent. As with everything else in our history, it is individuals (people) that have screwed things up.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:13 pm
Well I've gotten alot of offers from married men and when I ask the same question Cnd most said it's cause they don't want to have to pay any child or spousal support. Go figure. With my dating I'm just looking to have fun, not looking for a long term relationship yet.
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Grannyg
Member
05-28-2002
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:14 pm
Ok, Jimmer posted while I was posting and I didn't want to continue this convo if it was over. lol Jimmer, try working on the faith thing first and then maybe the God thing will become clearer. That's all I'm saying. Try to find what you have faith in and see why you have faith in that. Then once you have faith, hope, trust etc. then maybe you might understand more about the God thing. I don't think anyone call tell you exactly who or what God is. He just is. Just like the chair is or the car is. I've never had a time in my life when I didn't know who God is. But what God is to me, might not be God to someone else. Am I right and them wrong? Absolutely not. God is personal, first and foremost. Just like there are many different levels of friendship. There are those people you would lay down your life for. There are those people that you really like but you wouldn't even consider laying down your life for them. Then there are just aquaintances. Why are those relationships different? What makes you want to lay down your life for one person but not necessarily the next one. It's called a personal relationship. Which means you have spent more time or shared more experiences with some people than others. The same is true with God (or higher power or whatever term you are comfortable with believing). The more time you spend trying to find out about this, the more personal it will become. But start out with the faith and work your way up. Don't expect all the answers to come today. It may take several days, or years or however long it takes. I wish I could say that it would hit you like a blot of lightening but most of the time, that's not the way it happens. It comes little by little. Just keep working on why you have faith in somethings and yet not on other things.
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:17 pm
mocha, i know the stereotypical pictures one sees of Jesus is a white or caucasian man but i hope most everyone knows that is not true. from what i understand his skin would have been more of a dark olive.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:17 pm
I don't believe in anything supernatural either. No spirits, ghosts, devils, talking to the dead. No black magic, no white magic either. But I was/am a huge X-Files fan and my all time favorite movie is E.T. Go figure. Oh, I also don't believe in dating. Talk about the most miserable times of my life and they were when I was dating. It's tough out there!
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Max
Moderator
08-12-2000
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:22 pm
Dating? What's that??? Oh, you mean if you can find a man who isn't gay or otherwise attached or looking for someone half his age and who actually would like to spend some time with you? Gee, I haven't had much luck in that arena. As I approach 50 (too rapidly since it's happening next month), I find that it's very difficult to meet eligible men. I meet lots of great men, but none of them are available and the ones who are seem to be more interested in younger women than in a woman who is independent and "of a certain age." Not that I don't believe there are men out there who would be eligible, it's just that I don't know where to find them. I've done the internet dating thing. FOund a lot of frogs, but no prince. It just doesn't work for me. I need to meet someone in a casual environment where we're both enjoying an activity and happen to hit it off. I joined a car club because I enjoy the car and thought I might meet men there -- they're all great, and married. Now, it's also a time problem for me since I work from home for myself and make a lot less money than I used to. Making enough to get by takes a lot more time than it did before, so my opportunities for extracurricular activities are curtailed. I'd love to have a man in my life. Unlike many of my friends, I miss sex. I also miss having someone to share things with and travel with and just generally talk to and cuddle with on a cold winter night. I particularly miss kissing. I suppose what will be will be. I guess I need to make more time (somehow) to put myself in a "target-rich" environment. I don't care if I ever get married again -- there's no kids now or in the future, so what does it matter -- but I sure would like to be in a relationship -- a good one this time! 
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 3:28 pm
Yeah I had missed kissing too. <sigh>
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Schoolmarm
Member
02-18-2001
| Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 4:34 pm
I am in total agreement with Max. Dating sucks. Not dating sucks worse. My career gets in the way. The PhD intimidates some guys, which is too bad.
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