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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 11:26 am
i wasn't advocating that all males should sit down to pee all of the time. i was just offering newman an option he may not have thought about to help him during the night not have to turn the light on. but, it doesn't bother me how anyone pees as long as they clean off the seat!
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 11:45 am
I think that is why I like the radio so much,I have a station I like and I can archive the programs Im intrested in and listen on the computer, that way I can be doing stuff around here and pause if I get busy and have to go. I dont like the TV on in the day eather,I have one soap that I record and usually listen to it and half watch it in the evening while making dinner or whatever. I love to listen to music and I dont know if any of you have this problem, but if im really getting into tunes,have them blasting, feeling all great..then when I turn them off at some point I feel extra lonley..Maybe most music reminds me of things in the past and I know that those are memorys and not going to happen again, so somtimes music leaves me sad..Not always. I like talk radio too Newman, Its another way to get insight to the way people think, Just depends who your listening too..or it can piss you off. LOL I feel guilty for reading in the day as well, but its the best time for me cause thats when its quiet... You crack me up when you said "good for nothing" Im scared for life cause my dad was always calling us kids "Good for Nothing..Dont come asking me for money when your 18 get out there and get a job".. He was a major workaholic and I aquired that from him...Its scary. I dont have his temper though thank goodness.. well, I got to scadadle... stuff to do...later.
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 2:01 pm
I bet with all you busy people here I am the only one putting together a 1,000 piece jig saw puzzle. I like to read while watching tv. I don't mind goofing off in the afternoon. I figure my days off are to relax. Gee, that is what I am doing right now, watching tv and checking in here. I feel no guilt. It's not that I am lazy. I exercise 6 days a week (treadmill and karate tapes). I am just good at sitting.lol
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 2:14 pm
Well, Dogdoc, instead of just "sitting" you could be meditating, trying to reach enlightenment. OK, I thought that would sound funny. I think what Chew and I both were talking about is the parental tapes that run around your head. Be active. Be perfect. Don't be lazy. Do the right thing. Don't watch TV in the daytime. Are you studying? What, you got 4 A's and a B? Aren't you trying in Math? That last quote, from my German Dad, is one I'll always remember. Thinking how any parent would be so proud of that report card, but all he could focus on was the B in Math. Focus on the "negative". Hmmmm...is that where I got that from?
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 2:25 pm
It’s funny how society almost teaches you that you shouldn’t be proud of your accomplishments (Pride goeth before the fall, for example). Yet there is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself and looking for positives. It’s like we’ve almost been trained to look for negatives.
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Babyruth
Member
07-19-2001
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 3:02 pm
Jimmer, is that a photography pun?
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Dogdoc
Member
09-29-2001
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 3:44 pm
Newman I meditate to a cd "Sacred Drum Visions" that allows me to relax and lets me go in my mind to places where the music takes me. When I'm depressed I put on Simon and Garfunkle and enjoy "Sounds of Silence" and the "I am a Rock" song where a rock feels no pain and an island never cries. I guess I am lucky in that my parents only told me "Do the best you can." My sister has always been smarter than I but I was not expected to be like her. Jimmer, I don't mind being proud of myself when I accomplish something. I feel especially good if I get through doing something that I am afraid of such as speaking in front of an audience. Enough about me. It is so much fun to read about each other here. I guess we are all a little abnormal in out own way.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 3:51 pm
Well, I think I am perfectly normal ...except maybe for that little Sock Monkey thing that I can't control
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 4:10 pm
meditation, not sure if i actually do that. but, i do like to relax to the Chant CD that was put out by those monks 15 or so years ago. and, dh & i have 2 thunderstorm CD's we listen to occasionally when we go to bed. we find them relaxing also. the only problem with them though is about the time i fall asleep a big crash of thunder wakes me back up. LOL i have a wolf howling CD that i like to listen to also but it freaks out the cats. go figure. one that i don't have but would like to get eventually is whale songs. so far, i haven't been able to find any that don't have music added to them. i do have one of the ocean waves hitting the shore and other shore sounds that i find relaxes me also.
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Hukdonreality
Member
09-29-2003
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 4:19 pm
Cn, here is a whale song CD without music or talk: http://www.cdbaby.com/style/242
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 4:53 pm
No I didn't intend it as a photography pun - but it is a good one!
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Yesitsme
Member
08-24-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 5:29 pm
I never feel bad about goofing off. I accomplish a lot, don't goof off all of the time, but when I do I certainly enjoy it. Today I have had lots of little windows of goof off time and it has been wonderful. But I also have accomplished a lot in little spurts along the way. Now if I could just focus on getting my tax stuff together. I am having a hard time doing it this year. Woke up at 4 a.m. this morning...had a headache, so made some coffee and took some Nuprin, then laid down on the couch and watched Crash. (Loved it. Glad it won Best Picture.) Ate breakfast. Read a book as I took a nice leisurely bath. Met a friend and walked for an hour, talking along the way (which I know means we weren't walking fast enough, but who cares?) Worked for a while. Went to the post office. Went to my niece's soccer game (they won.) Ran to check and make sure they had enough help for a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. They did, but it was a wedding dress sale and I ended up staying several hours watching women try on wedding dresses. I should be in retail...I loved it. Gave my opinions on everything. Such fun! Then went and got a new cell phone and spent over $300 since I hate my land line company and want to get rid of that service. Ate lunch. Went to the library. Tried to rewire my phone jack and had no luck. Came back to the office. And now I sit here, once again avoiding my taxes! So that is my day. LOL....why did I feel the need to share that???? Probably because I was up at 4! And I just went to my library's website and put the audiobook of The Kite Runner on hold. Commuting as I am now, audiobooks are great for when the radio is dull. I'm just finishing up The Beach House by James Patterson. A bit strange, but I do enjoy his writing. He has a unique mind! I remember going to hear him speak at something a few years back and enjoying the fact that he was so normal in real life.
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 6:42 pm
Yesitsme, thats cool about the dresses, I did somthing almost like that today as well. We run a program once a yr where we try to get donations for Prom night for the kids that cant afford to go. We look for gift cert for dinners,tux rentals,recycled prom dresses or the actual ticket to go to the dance. Its so expensive,It really makes me mad how every thing has to be about money any more. Any way people donate all kinds of stuff and we set up our little shop with racks of clothes and shoes and stuff and the kids have two weekends to come in a pick out one outfit and hopefully a ticket for flowers or dinner(whatever) Its actually really fun for the kids cause other wise they probably couldnt go. Its all donations..so its a good thing. Hey I dont really think it matters how fast your walking..Your walking. We have a beautiful park here and I love to walk in it. Just curious,dont you need a land line for the computer?? Id like to ditch my phone too and just use my cell...I hate to hear the phone ring.. I hear them all the time.. Heres a song that runs through my head somtimes when ive just had to many calls and to many voices to listen to... "Everybody's talken at me--I cant hear a word their saying--only the echo's of my mind" .My dad use to listen to ole Glen all the time and that song allways stuck with me. Even today.
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Mamapors
Member
07-29-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 6:58 pm
Chew--I don't have a land line. I use Comcast Cable for my high speed internet. I really love it!! You would need a land line for a FAX though. I had to give that up. But oh well.
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 7:19 pm
Such good posters over here. Pat yourselves on the back I say. Jimmer, I wonder if my Dad would have been as tough on a daughter. Makes me wonder. He had 3 sons. With boys, and sports, speaking from experience, we don't give ourselves much praise when something goes right, like turning a double play. Just doing my job, I would be thinking. I'm supposed to catch the groundball, toss it to second, and so forth. In sports there is a lot of praising, "Good job", but then there is also a lot of stupid criticizing like when a teammate or coach yells at a player when the ball goes thru his legs. Like he was trying to look like an idiot and lose the game??!!
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Merrysea
Member
08-13-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:04 pm
Why are men so hard on their sons? Everyone always thought my ex was such a wonderful father, yet the oldest two hardly speak to him - and he hardly speaks to them! He likes to point out all their "failures." He will come over, see one of the boys sitting there, and then ask me questions about him. The boy is right there - ask him yourself! As much as they have animosity toward him, they don't let on in his presence, and even my oldest (who wants to change his last name!) will go over to his dad's on holidays or to help out with projects.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:10 pm
Although this is changing, I think most parents still have somewhat different expectations and different ways of relating to a son and a daughter. I’m not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 9:23 pm
Merrysea, I'm not sure why some men are so hard on their sons. The reason I say “some” is that I know many men (including my Dad) who were/are not hard on their sons. I think it may have to do with lack of self-respect and trying to overcome personal failures and live vicariously based on his perception of his son’s success. When he thinks his sons have "failed", he feels it is his failure (probably as his Father did with him). A strong confident man would support his sons, regardless of the outcome. This is just speculation on my part and not necessarily applicable to anyone specific.
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Merrysea
Member
08-13-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 10:13 pm
I think you're on to something there, Jimmer. He doesn't seem to see them as individuals with minds of their own - they're supposed to like what he likes and do what he does. Unfortunately for him, they don't agree with his plans for their lives.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 10:22 pm
I cannot use wolf or thunderstorm sounds because it freaks the cats. I don't feel guilty about my schedule, too often, anyway .. Today was total goof off for me.. I hung out upstairs in bed with a cat, caught up on all my newspapers that had piled up, watched golf, tennis and figure skating (cleaning off the DVR somewhat), ate yummy Mexican food from Baja Fresh and knit about 1/4 of a stocking cap/beanie that eventually will go off to Iraq. Basically a slothful day but kind of nice.
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Chewpito
Member
01-04-2004
| Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 11:03 pm
sounds like a nice day Seamonkey...
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Max
Moderator
08-12-2000
| Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 12:20 am
Balance is key, but it's often hard to achieve. I spent today pretty balanced. Got up early, did some transcribing and then met friends from my car club for a cruise along the back roads to a miniature golf place. Unfortunately, it was POURING when we got there, so we didn't stay and went to Wanker's Corner for a late lunch instead. That was fun. You get unlimited bowls of peanuts in the shell and are encouraged to thrown the shells on the floor. Of course, it's inevitable that some PEOPLE get in the way before the shells hit the floor! I used a menu to protect my beer! After lunch, I stopped in at Fry's and browsed a bunch of things. Only spent $50, though, which is really good for me in that store! Then I stopped at The Container Store and got a couple of things I needed and a gift certificate for my friend's housewarming party tomorrow. Came back home and did more transcription. Finally finished that one (150 minutes of tape took me 8 hours to transcribe). Yeah! Anyway, despite the rain, it was a lovely drive today and a nice mix of work and play. Tomorrow is slated to be somewhat the same except I'll be editing instead of transcribing and going to a housewarming instead of cruising the back roads. Hopefully I'll get some time to do some knitting, too, because several projects are calling my name! Balance. Work some, play some, relax some. Live well, laugh often, love much. That's pretty much my mantra. 
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 9:02 am
thanks, huk! that is so cool. the site allows you to listen to some of the tracks before you buy it. love it!
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Newman
Member
09-25-2004
| Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 9:12 am
Balance. That is the key for me, what I strive to achieve. I don't want to spend too much time on the computer, or watching tv, or exercising (chuckling). Some things, like this site, are addictive. It takes discipline to pull me away when I'm having fun. I really want to treat this site like a message board, rather than a chatroom. Take more time. Think a second before I type. Back to Merrsea's query about why are men so hard on their sons? I think we model the behavior of our Dad's before us, even if we don't want to. That's part of it. I wanted my sons to love baseball, like I did. They didn't. Well, I didn't force them to, but I think I withdrew or became distant when it didn't happen. I wanted them to be anti-war activists, like me, and they both joined the Marines to escape from their warring parents. Talk about irony... Life is complex. I don't think I could be the way I wanted to be with my kids because I was always fighting with my wife (or so my memory tells me). I have a lot of the German perfectionism in me, from my Dad. But there is something to it. If you don't have expectations from your kids, well, will they achieve? Shouldn't they get used to the pressure society will put on them? There's that balance again, between encouragement and pushing. Off to my Unitarian Universalist church, the community forum is about holistic healing today...
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Merrysea
Member
08-13-2004
| Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 12:22 pm
Newman, I think it's okay to have expectations for your kids, but first, I think it's important to really get to know them, and then encourage them to do what they want to do, rather than what you want them to do. For example, one of my sons was going to a community college, and he felt like he was just wasting money because he didn't have a goal, so he took a semester off to try to decide what he wanted to do with his life. His dad immediately jumped all over him, told him he was wasting his life (at 19!), etc. I gave him some space and just watched and talked with him, then asked him if he thought he'd like being a history teacher (history is his passion). His face lit up, because it had never occurred to him that he could do that, and now he's back in school, working toward his goal. When he feels like skipping school, I tell him he's an adult, it's his decision, and the only one he's hurting is himself, so off he goes! If his dad had his way, he would have just gotten a boring office job and been miserable all his life. I don't know how teaching will work out for him, but at least it's something he's looking forward to, instead of dreading. I think it's sad, because my ex never has taken the time to really talk to the kids, and he doesn't really know them. I can spend hours either one on one or with all of them talking about topics ranging from girls and sex to religion, politics, money and the meaning of life, and everything in between. It's sad, too, because ex really was a wonderful father when the kids were babies. I was going to say I don't know when it changed, but I think it was when they got old enough to start playing Little League, soccer, and doing Boy Scouts. He wanted the oldest two to do all that stuff, and made them do it, and everybody said what a great father he was. In the meantime, they were begging to quit! He didn't do that with the youngest, because he was only eight when we separated; and he still has a good relationship with him! Since ex is so busy with his girlfriend, he doesn't have time to run DS3's life - and this is the kid that is in all honors classes, runs track and cross country), and participates in things like JSA (Junior Statesmen of America). All children are different, and DS3 was raised under somewhat different circumstances (the older two were twelve and fourteen when we separated), but he wasn't pushed to do things that he didn't want to do, and he is excelling at what he chooses to do.
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