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Archive through December 25, 2005

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through December 25, 2005 users admin

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Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Thursday, December 22, 2005 - 11:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
There are some scientific theories about near death experiences and why people who have them describe similar sensations. The bright light that folks feel drawn toward can be explained by something to do with oxygen not getting to the brain and thus causing a retinal reaction that is interpreted upon wakening as having seen a bright light. (I could be wrong about some of this, I don't remember where I read about it and don't have time to look for sources right now. :-))

Anyway, there are usually some scientific explanations for things that some folks take on faith. Only way to know who's right is to experience it yourself, I suppose, and I'm not too anxious to "go there" if ya know what I mean. :-)

Tishala
Member

08-01-2000

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 12:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tishala a private message Print Post    
Newman, it's not an overarching concern for us [again, I am speaking generally] because, although we believe in Heaven, the afterlife is not something we generally discuss in Judaism. I can honestly say I have never heard it discussed by any rabbi I have talked to.

I saw a brief clip with the rabbi from BW's special, and I think he said what most Jews believe: that we direct our lives toward what happens here rather than looking toward there [i.e., we are not waiting for a great reward in the hereafter, etc.].

Resortgirl
Member

09-23-2000

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 6:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Resortgirl a private message Print Post    
From what I remember of my Catholic upbringing you couldn't go to heaven if you were not baptised in the Catholic Church... babies who died that were not baptised went to "Limbo" which was a nice enough place, but they never met God. If you didn't recieve last rites, which absolved you of your sins, you went to purgatory. One step above hell, but you could be "prayed" out of purgatory if your earthly friends and family said lots of them... These teachings just didn't sit right with me as a young girl. I vividly remember feeling so sorry for my best friend, Denise, who had the misfortune of being Methodist... she was not going to get into heaven just because her parents were raising her in that faith. These are the things I remember from over 30 years ago, they could have changed... But it made a deep impression on me and it turned me away from God for many years because I couldn't follow a God that sent innocent little babies to Limbo. Just didn't seem fair!



Slinkydog
Member

11-30-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 7:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Slinkydog a private message Print Post    
Thanks for the link, Tishala and Mame, and thanks everyone else for your input on this topic. I feel like I've learned a few things.

Now I'm off to my parents' home for the holidays. Merry merry, happy happy!

Slinkydog
Member

11-30-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 10:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Slinkydog a private message Print Post    
I found this on another site, and found it amusing. Because it reminded me of Newman, I thought you all might get a kick out of it.

“God Rest Ye, Unitarians,” by Christopher Raible:


"God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay;

Remember there’s no evidence

There was a Christmas Day;

When Christ was born is just not known,

No matter what they say,


O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,

Glad tidings of reason and fact.


Our current Christmas customs come

From Persia and from Greece,

From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East.

This whole darn Christmas spiel is just

Another pagan feast,


O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,

Glad tidings of reason and fact.


There was no star of Bethlehem,

There was no angels’ song;

There couldn’t have been wise men

For the trip would take too long.

The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,


O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,

Glad tidings of reason and fact."



Okay, now I'm really leaving.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 10:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Get outta here Slinky Dog! While you're gone I'm gonna go reek havok on your stall.

LOL...it was a cute song...I laughed.

Rabbit
Animoderator

08-12-2001

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 10:45 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rabbit a private message Print Post    
Two bumper stickers I saw driving in to work today. Portland is a great town for offbeat bumper stickers. These two gave me a little chuckle, both on cars with baby boomer drivers.

Isis Isis
Ra Ra Ra

--------------------

Knowledge is Power
Power Corrupts
Study Hard, Be Evil


Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 11:07 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Sad thing is...that has some truth to it.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 11:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
LIVING ALONE---

Gosh this is a very hard Christmas for me. Last year I knew my daughter was coming up the week after Christmas...it wasn't so bad.

This year I will be alone. I haven't decorated at all. You walk into my home and you see no evidence of the holidays other than two cards I received in the mail...one from mom and one from daughter.

I'll spend a few hours on Christmas day at my moms. It will be hard without ArReal here. I can't get used to this empty nest. The fact that I'm single makes me feel more alone.

How long does it take to get used to having your only child live half way across the country? I was a single mom for most of her life too, we were all each other had.

I'm getting more depressed as the holiday draws nearer.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 12:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
((((Kearie)))) I'm so sorry. I know I'm dreading the day my son grows up and goes off on his own. I wish I had some magic potion to help you, but there is none. I don't know what will help you, but I know on all those holidays I spent alone that volunteering (esp in nursing homes or residential treatment facilities for abused kids) always helped me get through. Uh, don't tell Newman I said that. :-)

Good luck, hon. I care.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 12:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Kearie do you have any pets?

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 12:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Thanks (((Karuuna))) To be honest tho, I am pretty agoraphobic. (Grocery shopping is a challenge.) I'm extremely creative and often donate things I make to different charities for fund raisers. I would love to volunteer, but at this point...I don't think it's an option.

Mocha---I have two dogs. Magoo and Gizmo.
Thanks Mocha. I got Gizmo for christmas last year and let me tell you...he is the best thing I've ever gotten. Thanks for reminding me to be grateful. I'm smiling again.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 12:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Ahh ok cause I was gonna say having a pet is just the bestest thing when feeling a lil lonely. Ok Gizmo is the Chichi right? He's a cutie. I want to get one next year.

Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 12:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
Kearie,
I'm alone, too. Never had kids, so I don't have that separation anxiety. It's just me and the cat this year. I didn't put up any decorations, either. Just didn't see the point in taking the time and I've been way too busy working to make time for it.

This has been a rough year with lots of changes, but it's also been good in lots of ways. This time of year is the pits to be alone, though. I have kept it low-key so that I don't get the "pity invitations" at the last minute. Everyone I know is well aware that I'm on my own, so if they didn't invite me by now, the last thing I need is a last-minute invite. That makes me feel more alone than anything.

Today, I'm picking up a turkey dinner with all the fixin's "for two" at New Seasons (a natural food store). I didn't want to cook for myself, so this is a great alternative. I can have a dinner with all the goodies (even pie) without a ton of leftovers and mess. Besides, they sent me a $15 coupon, so that makes the price perfect. :-)

Today I finally got the last of mom's estate settled, with my portion of the family trust investments transferred into my own account. Merry Christmas to me! It's not a ton of money, but it will pay off my second mortgage and give me some breathing room. Only thing left to do now is get the final family trust taxes done and my accountant deals with that for me.

I've got a bunch of work to keep me busy through next week and knitting projects to work on when I take breaks to watch movies. Tomorrow after evening church service, I'll go to a friend's home for Christmas Eve celebrations. Christmas day will be very quiet for me.

The season will be capped with a Chanuka party at a friend's home on the 30th and dealing blackjack at a party on New Year's Eve. Thank God for that last part, 'cause NYE is the absolute worst night to be alone -- at least for me. I'm dealing at a party with a friend, so that will make it even more fun. Just two blackjack tables and a poker tournament. Yee haw! :-)

And, for me, the season really keeps going a little longer. My birthday is January 9th -- the big five-oh! this year. EEK! A friend wants to throw a party for me and I need to get her a list of people. Feels really strange doing that, so I've been putting it off. That's something I can work on this week, too.

Anyway, I'm a little blue, but not blue enough to attend the "Blue Christmas" services some churches are holding for folks like me. It's a nice idea, but for me it would just make me more focused on the fact that I am alone. Instead, I'm working on thinking of this as a time when I can relax and enjoy some things that I don't always take time for.

The other thing that helps is that almost all the TV I watch is via DVR recordings, so I skip over all the Hallmark and other Norman Rockwell-esque commercials. Those darned things just build on the fantasy of a perfect family and a picture-perfect Christmas and that's just not reality for me (or for many people, even if they aren't alone). I have the full set of Matrix movies to watch instead. :-) I probaly will watch A Christmas Story, though, 'cause that's my all-time favorite Christmas movie.

However you end up spending the day -- whether it's talking on the phone with your daughter and mom or friends or whoever, or crying over It's a Wonderful Life, or something in between -- please take time to do something for yourself that makes you feel good and brings a smile to your face. It's really just a day, after all, placed on the calendar for a variety of different religious and commercial reasons. But it is also a time when we should all stop and think about the good things in our lives and take time to appreciate them -- whether we're alone or surrounded by others. Decorations and presents are just the trappings.



Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 1:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
(((MAX))) Thanks for sharing.

It's a good reminder to think about the good things.

(I'll be the 40 Jan 6th...ACK!)

Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 1:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
Well, gosh, Kearie. Us Capricorns can be a broody lot! Happy early birthday! :-)

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 1:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I'm sayin. (36 on Dec 31st)

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 1:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
You know it Max....Happy Birthday Cappy's.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Friday, December 23, 2005 - 10:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Just got as far reading as Slinky's Unitarian Song. Amusing. If I was a full fledged UU I would probably find it even more amusing. Still haven't decided if I should join themor not. Good people though, I like them.

Hey I'm a Capricorn too! G'night now, I'm beat...


Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Saturday, December 24, 2005 - 7:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Max, thanks for that paragraph about near death experiences and scientific explanations. That's what I believe. Almost everything can be explained away by science and logic. You simply can't prove God exists or heaven exists. You have to have Blind Faith.

Tish, my form of Christianity didn't stress heaven either. It stressed the Golden Rule. Be nice. Be helpful. Be a good person here on earth now. I'm not sure if we ever talked about heaven or an afterlife in Sunday School.

My whole exposure to religion, as a kid, was thru Sunday School, which was so much better than going to the adult sermons upstairs, which I remember as being very boring. When I would go to them inevitably my mind would wander, I would daydream, or try not to laugh at my twin brother's jokes, try not to get shushed by the adults around me.

Resortgirl, you said it well. I assume I was baptized but I have no memory of it of course. Why would that matter to a loving, fair God?

I remember being jealous of my Catholic friends, as a kid, because they got to wear that cool necklace with a cross on it! I remember thinking that Catholics were somehow inferior, because of the Pope thing. That they couldn't think for themselves or something, needed a pope to tell them what to do.

Liked what you said about worry over your Methodist friend not getting to go to heaven. Why are religions so divisive? That says why I don't believe in organized religions. They seem so unfair...so arbitrary.

I wasn't raised to FEAR God. That part doesn't click with me either.

Late for work. {{{{Kearie}}}} ...worried about ya!

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 12:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Merry Christmas. My best buddy out here is 60, in failing health, all alone, an aging hippie. Tried to cheer him up yesterday but to no avail. He just wants to be alone.

What can you do? Depression is a real thing. Usually it goes away. I've heard that you just get bored by being depressed and then you get on with life again. Sometimes...but not always.

I think this is my least favorite holiday. I can't stand the materialism. Can't people just give the gift of themselves?

I'm gonna go to a little party myself in a few minutes. Old friends. They always give me something. I suppose it's nice. I would prefer to just get together, talk over old times, and new, and maybe play games like Scattergories.



Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 1:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Sorry to hear about your buddy Newman. It’s hard to know what to do when someone is depressed and doesn’t want to be cheered up. Sometimes the action of trying to cheer them up just makes them more depressed. And, sadly, some people have a good reason to be depressed. I’m sure just knowing you are around means a lot to him though.

I completely agree about the materialism at Christmas. I suspect that some people try to make up for the other 364 days and try to fit everything into one day and do it with material items. I’ve always been fortunate that my family has never felt that way. Christmas is special but our family has many special days throughout the year – we are always looking for an “excuse” to celebrate something. And we don’t do it in a material way.

The time you’re spending with your friends sounds enjoyable.

Merry Christmas to all!

Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 2:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
36 = percentage of single people who said they feel additional pressure during the holidays to be in a relationship, according to Match.com.

58 = percentage of single adults who don't want to attend holiday office parties by themselves.

30 = percentage who have stayed home from events simply because they didn't have a date.

(these factoids were in my local paper today)

Suz
Member

10-13-2005

Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 4:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Suz a private message Print Post    
Newman I aggree with people giving the gift of themselves. I tried explaining that to my Grandson yesterday. Instead of thinking only of presents, it would be nice to think about how nice it is to share and visit with those you care about. I even shared some time with some I didn't care so much about. lol
Merry Christmas everyone!

Yesitsme
Member

08-24-2004

Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 5:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Yesitsme a private message Print Post    
(((Kearie))) I hope the day has been better than you expected. I know it is difficult for both you and your daughter. But it says so much about you as a person that you raised her so that she can go and live her own life. That's a great gift for a child.

While I have a close family, it is difficult as a single at the holidays sometimes. What has made it easier for me is to make my own traditions. My family doesn't get together for Christmas Eve, so that day is traditionally the day of celebration for my family of one! I don't do it completely on my own....I go back to the city where I used to live, meet a friend for lunch, shop a bit, go to the early evening candlelight service at my old church, then meet some friends at a local hospital for Christmas caroling (an event led by a doctor friend.) It's a day I love.... and always gets me in the Christmas spirit. None of the things make me feel like I stand out in any way, the people that I am around are kind and glad to see me, and all events just bring me simple pleasure.

Max, get your party list done! Turning 50 is a great thing to celebrate and your friends will love celebrating with you. With the year that you have had, you are due for a fun party where you can celebrate life and you and all of the great things that are to come. And I think those percentages you gave are a bit low. I do attend events on my own at times, but have never gotten so I enjoy it. I think I am in the majority. As I get older, I am kinder to myself about it. I even give myself permission to leave if I get to an event and am uncomfortable. Our society has gotten so unsociable on a lot of levels and sometimes I think the skill of a host or hostess making sure their guests are comfortable is almost a dead art. It's a pity. I'm probably hyper-sensitive if I have guests...lol...I know it is due to those times that I feel trapped in a party with no escape route!