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Archive through April 02, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through April 02, 2006 users admin

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Mamapors
Member

07-29-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 8:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamapors a private message Print Post    
What I love about this site is that we get an insight into people without knowing what they look like. We learn about their beliefs, their feelings, we get a look into their soul by reading their posts and responses all around the board. I feel I know some you very well, and I know you would be my friends if we lived close to each other. I don't ever base who I like or interact with on their looks, or weight, or skin color, or anything other than what kind of people they are. But it is just interesting to me to know people without knowing what they look like. It is certainly a validation in my mind that it really doesn't matter.

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 8:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Biped makes delicious tomato aspic while perusing the boomer thread. (Figures she should get about a bushel of tomatoes).

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 8:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Well, I guess it takes something like this to bring me out of lurkdom once again! I just could not let this go by without putting my two cents in.

I, too, am shaking my head after reading Newman's comments! I am glad to know a lot of men I know do not feel like this.

I am short, chubby, severely disabled, in an electric wheelchair and in my fifties. For the most part, I have not had problems having a man by my side for the past twenty five years. I have been married and have had boyfriends before and after my marriage ended.

A few years ago, my ex-boyfriend, Marty, and an old playmate, Larry, who I hadn't seen in forty years were actually both coming at me at the same time. I knew I had to pick one or the other. And unfortunately, I picked the wrong one.

So, I am wondering what does that say about men and what they want and Newman's thoughts on the subject?

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 8:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Karuuna already mentioned this but as a guy I think it is worth repeating. Newman does not represent all men.

Some people are more candid about sharing their feelings than others are. We live in a very politically correct society where people are trained not to say what they truly think. That may be good in that feelings are less likely to be hurt but it is not good in that it stifles discussion.

I'm not reluctant to say that I don't find the Playmate look to be attractive or remotely interesting. For one thing, I think they almost all look similar. For another I think that, for the most part, they look plastic, made-up and fake. Certainly I think they do in their pictures anyway and the way they have chosen to allow themselves to be portrayed. Is it wrong of me to say that?

Are guys like me discriminating against Playboy Bunnies? Or are we simply looking for what appeals to us?

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Mamapors. I agree with you. It doesn't matter what you look like, HERE, on the web. It only matters how you write, how you care, if you're amusing, and so forth.

If only that were true in real life. Real life has the physical, the mental, and the emotional (some would add the spiritual). All those parts make up a person. Pretending the physical doesn't matter, in real life, is just being dishonest.

I'm feeling a little like Alex, from tonite's episode of Grey's Anatomy. Too honest?

Of course I only speak for myself. I'm in good shape myself, for my age. Should I lie about that? Isn't it natural that I would be looking for someone who is also fit? Why does this make me a villain?

Aren't we all trying to make the right choices? Isn't that what Baby just wrote?? I jog or bike ride or do something at the health club 5 days a week. I'm "thin". Is it ok that I be honest and say I'm more attracted to other thin people as well?

Or should I pretend that it's what's inside that counts, and that's ALL that matters when choosing a mate? Should I lie?


Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Yesitsme, that sounds great. Sounds like a good group you bumped into. That's the one thing I didn't like about my singles group. They plopped me down at this one table and there I was stuck for the entire time.

It would be nice to be able to move around and meet different people (unless you were hitting it off where they plopped you).

So you're saying you change seats for every course of the meal? Interesting...


Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Thin doesn't mean fit.

Mamapors
Member

07-29-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamapors a private message Print Post    
Dishonest---that is a really strong word. The physical has nothing to do with how I pick my friends or potential partners. Honestly. This sounds like such a cliche, but I have skinny friends, fat friends, tall friends, short friends, friends of all colors, some who are more attractive than others. I am focusing on the physical here which usually means the least to me. And I have dated many different men, and those I was most completely attracted to were not the thinnest or the best looking. I am not being dishonest, quite the contrary, I am being honest.

Merrysea
Member

08-13-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Merrysea a private message Print Post    
The problem I've seen on dating sites is not only how you look. I think I look pretty good and a little younger than my age. I weigh less than I probably should for my age and height; but men my age want women 15 years younger; and men interested in women of 50 are in their 60's and 70's. If I were to get involved with someone again, I'd want to be close to the same age with whom I had more in common.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
"Pretending the physical doesn't matter, in real life, is just being dishonest."

For you maybe, not for everyone. For me and many people I know, the physical doesn't matter. And, for many people in this thread it doesn't matter (evidenced by their prior posts.)

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I'm sorry but some physical things do matter.

I'll give an example of a personal experience from many years ago. I spoke to a woman on the phone. She was a lovely person to talk to: warm, witty and intelligent. We had similar interests.

Then I met her in person. She arrived wearing dirty clothes. She smelled. She sat on my couch in my living room and picked the skin off her feet.

I'm sorry, but in that situation, the physical did matter.

Max
Moderator

08-12-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 10:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Max a private message Print Post    
What one person finds atractive another may not. Period. In some cultures, "meat on the bones" as they say, is highly sexy. In ours, not so much.

If I feel fine about how I look and someone else doesn't like it, that's their preference and vice versa. Same with politics, smoking, accents, and whatever other trait or lifestyle choice you want to add to the list.

Either I like someone or I don't. Either they like me back or they don't. I'm not interested in living somewhere that doesn't give each of us that choice.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Are we really saying anything different? All I'm saying is that physical appearance matters to me in a dating situation, or if I was picking a mate.

For others it doesn't matter. They don't care what the other person looks like.

That's fine.

I'm not saying everyone has to think like me. To each his/her own.


Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
repeat

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Newman,

To each his/her own, indeed! But, what you are saying in this last post sounds very different than what you said in the post that you made previously.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
"Are we really saying anything different? All I'm saying is that physical appearance matters to me in a dating situation, or if I was picking a mate."

I dunno, maybe, maybe not. You prefer non 40 pound overweight women, I prefer non middle aged men.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:11 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
I'll try it another way. Physical appearance matters to me. I'm in good shape for my age. I would want to hook up with a woman who also was fit.

I also like smart people, funny, Liberals, kind, nice, sweet, energetic, and happy. Chemistry might be the biggest criteria that I look for. Do we click?

Does she like me? Do I like her? I could go on and on. Does this clarify??

But in that list is the physical. There has to be a physical attraction for me. I would not be attracted to someone who is 40 pounds overweight. For other people, that's not a problem.


Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Exactly Wendo. We all have our deal breakers. Some people don't like smokers. Some wouldn't go out with a Republican. And so forth.

Of course, after you meet the person and get to know them, say, at work or at school somewhere, well, you might make some compromises to the list.


Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
I'll rephrase regarding telling the truth to people.

I think telling the truth to people is important. I would much rather be told the truth than lied to. However, how one phrases the truth is important; when that truth sounds demeaning or condescending then it's not really telling the truth, it's just mean.

There, hope that makes my opinion about telling the truth more clear.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
"Exactly Wendo. We all have our deal breakers. Some people don't like smokers. Some wouldn't go out with a Republican. And so forth."

Yep. Middle aged men. Chauvenists. Men who denegrate women. All deal breakers for me.

"Of course, after you meet the person and get to know them, say, at work or at school somewhere, well, you might make some compromises to the list."

What? Are you saying that you WOULD be attracted to a 40 pound overweight women if you got to know them, say, at work or school? Hmmm.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Wendo, how would you honestly tell a woman that she was 40 pounds overweight, without sounding demeaning or condescending or mean?

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Oh, no, Wendo. Not saying that at all. If she were 40 pounds overweight that would still be a deal breaker. However, if she were a smoker, well, there might be some wiggle room.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
Exacly Newman.

(ETA: I was saying exactly to your 10:06pm post, not the 10:10pm post.)

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Precisely Wendo.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 11:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
LOL Newman - Of course, your "larger" woman might find a smaller man too "little" for her anyway.