Author |
Message |
Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 11:21 am
A co-worker of mine(whose been with the company for nine years), although i've only really gotten to know her over the last 4-6 months, was let go on Friday. On top of this, her father is near death. Her being let go, was a numbers game(over-staffed they say) but the decided to let her go sooner than anticipated so she could spend time with her father. anyhoo, I want to say something, do something for her but not sure what? send flowers saying i'm thinking of you? or?
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Hussy
Member
08-06-2004
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 4:36 pm
If money is tight since she lost her job and she has a family. How about a gift card for a place to pick up dinner? If she has a family and is spending a lot of time with her father this would help her. You could get a card and write a short note explaining why you decided on the gift card. Just a thought....Cindy
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 5:01 pm
that's a good idea, although she is a single woman she could probably still use something like that..maybe i'll bring that up to the others in the office..(when they let you go its a get your stuff and go, no time to assimilate it at all)..
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 5:17 pm
Nancy: it sounds like your friend has alot on her plate right now. Alot. I would reaffirm with her that the means/manner in which she was let go was not personal, that for company purposes that is how it's done (the get your stuff and go part of it). Also, maybe down the road flowers are a good idea, but she's going to be on a short rope for now. The dinner gift card is a fantastic idea, because it doesn't make her feel reliant on other people but also gives her a short getaway gratis. Mostly, depending on how close you are to her, give her a shoulder and let her vent. Pick up on the clues she gives you as to the things that would make her situation easier. And then act on them the best you can. The monetary issue on top of the grieving is a difficult one to navigate. Just inviting her to a movie (if she doesn't want to talk but needs to get out) or over to dinner if she needs to unload (if she does want to talk) might make a world of difference with her. Good luck with your friend. I hope she appreciates the efforts you make on her behalf.
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 5:52 pm
thanks goddess--i know she was telling me earlier in the week she was torn between feeling like she needed to be at work(i think she had a premonition about being let go as a lot of her work load had been taken off her plate do to an outside vendor taking it over) and she told me she really felt like she needed to 'do a good job' on this current project she and i were working on. I know for me when my dad was dying of cancer I really wanted/needed to work so as NOT to dwell on my dad 24/7. I can't imagine she'd want to tell her dad either about getting laid off. 
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 5:54 pm
I agree with everything GAL said except for the comments about reaffirming that "that is how it's done." I would empathize with her, but don't talk about the how/why of why she was let go. (I think it's a tad bit inappropriate; it's like someone telling you they are sorry they have to fire you. It's not what someone wants to hear.) DO tell her that there is something better out there for her. Do talk to her. Just call her to say hey. When someone is let go suddenly, and with the grab 'n go method, many times coworkers are uncomfortable. So just knowing that you want to maintain contact will help. Another thing you can do is help her network. I don't know if she's gonna want/need to get another job right away, but if so, help her make contacts.
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 6:13 pm
Costa: the reason I mentioned reaffirming with her the "that is how it's done" situation is because even though there is no reason to suspect ulterior motives of the person who is being let go, it creates a very personal trauma for the person who is being let go regardless of their circumstances. As if the finger is being pointed at them. Letting them know that it was not personal, nor was it perceived that way by their co-workers, I think would be important. Of course, every situation is different, and not kneeding the wound may be more important with Nancy's friend. I certainly can appreciate both perspectives.
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Nancy
Member
08-01-2000
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 6:26 pm
from what my boss said, my friend did ask if it where only her getting let go, and my boss said "i can't really say" so kinda sorta not really what you want to hear.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 7:59 pm
This happened to me in March 2005, although I was expecting it since our volumn was way down, it is still shocking the way they handle it. So even tho I knew I didn't do anything wrong and was a good worker, it hurt my feelings. It was very nice to hear from my co-workers, a couple of people I was close to gave me a call on a daily basis for about a week and then we resumed normal contacts via email and a few calls. Give her a call!! If she doesn't seem to want the phone calls (I appreciated people checking on me) then go with what she wants. The dinner card is a good idea. I did receive a small "smiley face" boquet from a friend and it did pick up my spirits until I had processed what happened. And as usual it was the best thing that could have happened!!! It always is, but we just don't think so at the time.
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