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Archive through May 08, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Free Expressions: Manners/etiquteet/what would ya do/etc (ARCHIVES): Archive through May 08, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Prisonerno6
Member

08-31-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 7:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Prisonerno6 a private message Print Post    
Well, you should include a date by which the response is due. Something like: If we don't hear from you by May 25th, we'll know you can't make it.

And people don't RSVP because they are self-centered and think, "Oh, one person either way doesn't make a difference," not realizing that everyone could think the same thing. And maybe they don't respond because they know you'll call to find out if they're coming...

Biloxibelle
Member

12-21-2001

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 7:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biloxibelle a private message Print Post    
Julieboo says: Why don't people RSVP?

If you ever find out that answer please let me know.

When I had DIL baby shower last month we were following it up with a BBQ. I was shocked at the few amounts of RSVP I received. There were a few people I knew were coming for a fact so that was ok. Even my SIL who was traveling in from out of state so I knew she was coming RSVP'd me. Then I had 7 people show up I never heard from. 3 of them were young people, 2 were my DIL bosses (advanced ages and well educated) and my husbands boss and his wife. What's up that? We were lucky there was enough food since it was BBQ chicken along with salads and such.

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 7:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Zachsmom a private message Print Post    
I hate how people do not RSVP. I always do.

What I normally do is call people a day or two before the RSVP deadline and "make sure they received the invite" and did they want to RSVP at that time.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Texannie a private message Print Post    
I never put RSVP anymore cause I don't think people know what it means!
I always put "Please respond to Annie by x date via my phone # or email addy"

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wargod a private message Print Post    
It's totally rude isn't it? All it takes is a minute or two to make a qucik phone call and say if they're coming or not. I know sometimes in some instances it's impossible to say if you're going to be available (we spent all of last year trying to make plans around my bils mothers illness and there was never any telling what we'd be doing in 3 weeks) and I understand situations like that. It's the ones who just don't bother to pick up the phone and take that minute or two that get my goat!

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
(You guys would hate me. I'm terrible.)

Biloxibelle
Member

12-21-2001

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Biloxibelle a private message Print Post    
Oh Hermione, I would never hate you. I would welcome you with open arms to my dinner party w/o an RSVP. Of course you would have to sit in the corner on a hard backed chair, sipping water, nibbling on a dinner roll....j/k.

I'm glad you came in here an said you don't RSVP. Why is that? Would different wording on an invitation change whether you RSVP or not?

Crzndeb
Member

07-26-2004

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Crzndeb a private message Print Post    
What seems to work for me, instead of RSVP, is "Regrets only". That way, only the people that can't come need to call.

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
I'm just very scatterbrained. I have good intentions, but inevitably always seem to miss the deadline or forget altogether until the day of the actual event. I know it is rude and I wish I could say I always RSVP, but that would be a lie!

I like the "Regrets Only" wording. I do seem to do better with those.

Vee
Member

02-23-2004

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vee a private message Print Post    
Don't you have a tickler file, Hermi? BTW, you are a brave woman! LOL!

I am one of those who isn't convinced that people understand RSVP anymore. I love it when I hear that a teacher is doing lessons on courtesy and manners. So many children are not getting this information at home anymore.

ETA: Oh, I meant to say that I haven't seen the "regrets only" message before, but I like it.

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mamie316 a private message Print Post    
I only use Regrets Only. The majority of people seem to not respond to RSVP. I think it just slips their minds but they do respond to regrets.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 8:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
I"m like Hermione, terrible and usually wait till the last minute to call.

What would help me is to have an Email addy to send my reply to. :-)

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
We've tried "regrets only" and that does not make a lick of difference. In fact, that really makes you think you are having a big turnout and you end up with more food than ever!

Even with an email as an option, they still don't RSVP. Maybe I should make the wording something like Annie said.

OR Maybe:
Please call or email right freaking now while you are thinking about it! Don't put this invitation in your "to do" pile. Instead pick up the phone this instant or go right to your computer and let us FLIPPING know!

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Zachsmom a private message Print Post    
Julie, are you hand delivering or are you mailing the invites?

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
Thank you, Karuuna for not leaving me alone in here! I was feeling like a terrible person. Honestly, my intentions are good... I know, I know... what is it they say about the road to Hell?

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
hey, they'd rsvp if you said, "those of you who rsvp by such and such a date will be in the drawing at the end of the night!"

don't tell them that whoever wins the drawing has to do the clean up! LOL

actually when my sister and i did a family reunion, we had no idea how much of the extended family would be reachable by others we were still in touch with, etc. this cousin still stayed in touch with that cousin, or this aunt was pretty sure so and so lived in oregon, etc... my dad was one of 10 kids; a lot of them had 7 or 8 kids. most of them are married and have kids, if not grandkids...so, having no idea if we would have 20 relatives or 100 at this party, and wanting to know pretty much how much macaroni and potato salad to make, how many ribs to cook, etc., she had a prize for 'first to rsvp' and some other things. i remember getting a spitload of calls and emails right away! i think our count was only off about 10% at the end. we had 70 people and knew for sure of 60 or so.
we made up a basket with a bottle of champagne, some sparkling cider, crackers, cookies, cheeses, a nerf frisbee, some bubbles, etc. for the winner. since so many responded fast and some lived farther away so their invites took longer to reach them, my sister just put everyone's name in a coffee can and had the youngest child draw a name out. everyone was happy with that!

Penguingirl
Member

01-26-2006

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Penguingirl a private message Print Post    
I don't mind RSVPing, but I do mind being questioned on why I won't be joining. Why can't "thank you but no thank you" be enough? Reasons for not attending run the gamut, but it's not something you should have to explain or justify. I imagine enough of those interactions have reinforced a reluctance toward RSVPing. As hostesses, minding our own PnQs are as important as guests RSVPing. It seems to be a matter of respect for both host and guest.

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
hermione, i believe this is how it goes:

"the road to hell is paved with hermi's un-rsvp'd invitations".

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:17 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Julieboo a private message Print Post    
I never have questioned why they can't come. (In fact I am sometimes relieved--depending on who they are!!!)

Zmom, they will all be mailed.

I just might try that RSVP raffle thing! Hmmm, where's HP to word it for me?

Hermione69
Member

07-24-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hermione69 a private message Print Post    
LOL, Tabby! I'm going to have eggs thrown at me for admitting this, but I forgot to RSVP to my brother's wedding. Ticked off his fiance! I felt terrible. Mom tried. I just didn't turn out right.

Halfunit
Moderator

09-02-2001

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Halfunit a private message Print Post    
<...snags pitchfork and joins Hermie...>

Penguingirl
Member

01-26-2006

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Penguingirl a private message Print Post    
Ok, after I read what I wrote, it sounded rather bitter and I feel the need to explain, lol. Recently someone invited me to one of those "buy something home parties". I don't care for the product, I don't really care for the hostess (a neighbor), and had something else I wanted to do that evening..something that probably wouldn't have been perceived as a priority. When I called to say I wouldn't be attending, I was questioned as to why, I was offered a catalog so I could order anyway, and was then met with a sales pitch and somewhat shamed for passing on a great product and purchasing items elsewhere. It was uncomfortable and left me feeling a bit resentful. That's why I ask, why can't no just be no.

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
i felt so bad when we got a wedding invitation from an air force guy my dh used to work with. we adored this young man. well, when he was transferred out of the area, he ended up setting a wedding date. i guess we were one of the few couples from here that were invited. we didn't get the invitation until about 5 months after the wedding took place; we got a ziploc with a red sticker with a "D" on it, for 'damaged' by the post office. the invitation had gotten stuck in or under or through a machine/sorter. there was a greasy, torn, run-over looking thing inside the ziploc. we could see they were getting married on such and such a date, but her name was pretty much obliterated, the rsvp card was so covered in the black grease you couldn't read a return address, etc. it was about a year before we heard from this guy again. he was embarrassed i think, wondering if we were still friends, but he was in the area and wanted to get together with my dh for lunch. we were so glad he got in contact with us!
dh even showed him our invitation. i got a gift and sent it along with dh when he met the guy for lunch...

i don't like 'regrets only' because then you still don't know except for those who definite send their regrets!
i want things to be sure. i've had people say, "i'll call you if i can get that car part" or whatever. no, call me if you can't get it, either. because i won't know if you just didn't reach me, never remembered to look for the car part, lost my phone number...

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
how about this:

'There will be a drawing for a gift basket at the end of the evening. In order for YOUR name to be entered into the drawing you must respond no later than 5 p.m. on Friday, May 19th.'

Heyltslori
Moderator

09-15-2001

Monday, May 08, 2006 - 9:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Heyltslori a private message Print Post    
Penguingirl, I completely understand what you are saying. There are times I just might not want to attend something...for whatever reason, and I would probably not rsvp if I had to call to do so. I just wouldn't want to have to explain why. I think the email rsvp is a great idea. I'd do that.