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Archive through April 08, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through April 08, 2006 users admin

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Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 12:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Jimmer, what happened that your friend felt he needed to take Viagra? Just curious, you said he was candid and I happen to be very nosey. LOL!

Grannyg
Member

05-28-2002

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 1:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Grannyg a private message Print Post    
I'd kill Fred if he started taking Viagra!!

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 1:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
LOL Grannyg!!!

With respect to my friend, for lack of better words, it just wasn't working as well anymore. I don't know if he takes it out of necessity or just for improved performance.

The reason I was a little surprised is that I think he is still relatively young (58), he has always had a good sex life, he is very active and in great health and in good shape. But I guess it catches up with all of us?

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 1:40 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Oh no Grannyg!! Jimmer 58 does seem young for Viagra. I haven't reached that point yet but I'm not sure what I would do if I wasn't able to have a satisfying sexual relationship. I guess it's something that all of us will have to consider.

Grannyg
Member

05-28-2002

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 2:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Grannyg a private message Print Post    
Believe me, you will be just fine.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 3:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
don't get me wrong, i have a satisfying sexual relationship with my DH. what i have noticed is that i still think about it, dream about it and want it yet the body doesn't always follow through. someone once said that sex was 99% mental and 1% physical. i don't believe that.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 4:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Cndeariso, I would talk to your gynecologist about it and have a complete blood work up done. Not sure what age you are, but if you are pre, peri or currently menopausal, there are natural hormones you can take that will perk ya right up. <cough, cough>

I"m just sayin....

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 4:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
thanks for the advice, karuuna, and i have had all of that done. everything is within normal parameters.

i'm just guessing that since the mind is willing but the body isn't cooperating then it must be the spinal cord damage.

but, i am also curious about what happens as one gets older. does one naturally wane?

Gradstudent
Member

07-10-2005

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 4:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gradstudent a private message Print Post    
Cndeariso,

I have been studying this in my sexuality class, and according to research - sexual activity slows down according to physical capabilities as people age, but the "want to" doesn't necessarily change.

How and how often are more dependent on how the person is feeling and how the body is holding up. But the desire doesn't seem to change much in older people.

LOL - I guess I am learning something this semester! :-)

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 4:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
At the risk of being blunt, I think that it's great that you want to do it. Where there is a will, there is a way! You and your wonderful partner just have to find what works.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 4:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Cndeariso, I'd have to say it varies by person. Frankly, as I've gotten older, my interest has grown more and more. I think it may be different (in general) for men and women as well.

Cnd - loss of sexual performance is common in spinal cord injuries. I'm sorry to say that much more research has been done on men in this situation than women. The research on women tends to be around fertility and not orgasm.

If I were you, I might still look into some kinds of supplementation. It may be that if you are still able to function, just not as frequently as before, you may require more stimulation to get those messages through to your brain. That can be topical applications to increase sensation, testosterone supplementation, or supplementation with other hormones.

In other words, since the scientific world seems more interested in erection than female orgasms, you may have to do some pushing to get some help.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 5:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
thanks for all the info. i think it is great too that i still have the want to!

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 5:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Hi CND,

Not sure if I can help you in this department or not. But, I can share a bit of what I have gone through.

I hesitate to write anything about my experiences because I don't want you to think this will be you, someday. As you know, I am older than you and was born with spina bifada and have acquired all kinds of illnesses and health problems along the way.

Also, I am post menopausal. After having four major surgeries within eighteen months back in 1983 and 84, my body went into shock which brought on early menopause.

Right now, with the shape I am in physically and my age, I should have left this world sometime ago. But, I didn't and I am still kicking!

With my last boyfriend, Larry, the most important part of the physical thing for me was the touch. I am a people person and also the huggy type. I love touch and I think touch is very important and can be a pretty powerful thing.

What was important to me was the hugging, hand holding, cuddling, that sort of thing. Just being physically close when we were together was great! Going for walks in the evening, having one hand on my joystick of my chair and the other hand in his was very special to me. Having him bend over every once in a while and give me a quick kiss while we were out strolling was great! These kinds of things made me feel protected, loved and cared for.

So, even now with the shape I am in, I can still touch and be touched. And that urge is still extremely strong in me. The other, well, it's just not so important anymore. But, to be honest, that is truly o.k. with me. It might not be for someone else. But, for me, it is A-O.K.!

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 6:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I've read that there are young people who also take viagara for that xtra kick.

Emeraldfire
Member

03-05-2003

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Emeraldfire a private message Print Post    
Baby that was a great post! It spoke to me.

A couple of days back Newman said women wanted to be adored and I thought to myself at the time that I don't want to be adored, but I'm not sure what it is that I miss and want out of a relationship. Thanks to Newman () I have been pondering that thought ever since until I just read your last post.

You are right. Touch is a very important, powerful thing and I realize I miss it. I realized that I want a relationship with someone that I can relate with as a friend, lover and that makes me feel protected, loved and cared for as well.

Thanks for helping me realize what I'm looking for, now if I can just get the courage to go out and find it. I have a newfound respect for men and the courage it takes to make the first move without the fear of rejection.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Cnd, Dr. Newman agrees with Dr. Karuuna and Dr. Jimmer and all the other doctors on this board. 46 is young, especially for a woman. You may want to get another consult from, say, Dr. McDreamy?

I get a kick out of people of the Baby Boomer generation who are reluctant to take Viagra. I'm thinking of all the people I knew who smoked dope, dropped acid, snorted coke, and so forth, thirty or more years ago, but for some reason Viagra is taboo? Makes me laugh. If a drink would relax you and a Viagra pill would excite you and they both cost the same ...

Glenn, you bring up an interesting topic. Why did your mate choose you? Glenn, are you married or do you have a gf?

Being insecure...and a male...(not sure that matters) I don't think I ever asked a woman why she "picked me." I did ask my wife once, something along those lines, like "why do you want to marry ME?" Didn't get a satisfactory answer as I recall. Another red flag missed.

I like to think I know what qualities I'm looking for in a woman. Maybe I was always too concerned about if they fit my menu, rather than did I fit theirs.

My girlfriend choices always seemed to like me. What's not to like? I'm smart, good looking, athletic, humble, have a good sense of humor, and I can type fast. (The last sentence was an example of my sparkling, self deprecating sense of humor...well, if you have to label humor, how funny can it be, lol?).


Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Thanks Emeraldfire,

That really makes me feel good to know my post touched you like that! Sometimes I am not sure if others will really be able to relate to what I am writing about since, in many ways, my life has been different.

But, I guess when it all comes down to it, we are all human. I think we basically all (at least most of us, I would guess) want to be loved, cared for, respected and protected. I don't really think it's a female thing. I think it is something lots of us, female or male, need and want. In many ways, I think males and females are more alike than different.

And I do believe if we could start loving, protecting, respecting, and caring for each other, this world would be a much better and nicer place for all!

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Great post Baby... I'd throw forgiveness in the list of things we could do to make the world nicer.

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Yes indeedy, forgiveness along with maybe a few others should be thrown in there, too!

I was just thinking about you, Kearie!!

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
I was thinking about what you said, touch, I think I miss that too. I miss real hugs from people who really care. A special man.

What is it about physical touch that we need so bad. Baby's die without it.

Uh oh, Am I in trouble again?

Chewpito
Member

01-04-2004

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chewpito a private message Print Post    
wow, Ive been outa town this past week and just got back and trying to read all the past threads, some very good stuff here...I need to catch up, but was moved by your post baby, I think you must be a very strong person...thanks for sharing...

Emeraldfire
Member

03-05-2003

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Emeraldfire a private message Print Post    
Sometimes a simple touch from someone you care about speaks more to your soul than words ever could.

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Thanks Chewpito,

I guess I am strong. I have been told that all of my life, so I must be. For me, I have a choice, either be strong and keep going or be weak, give in and not be on this earth anymore!

I just recently told someone (Kearie, maybe?) I am at a point where I am tired of people telling me I am strong. I just want to not be so tough anymore. I just want to have that touch, that caring, that special feeling!

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
You so have that right, Emeraldfire!

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Saturday, April 08, 2006 - 8:53 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
(((BABY)))