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Archive through April 03, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through April 03, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
I think I have the perfect relationship, for me.

My BF lives 45 minutes away from me so we only see each other on the weekends. I adore him but he would drive me nuts if I saw him every day. He goes to the gym and I pick up my son from daycare. We live opposite lives during the week and then come together on the weekends. Perfect!

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
LOL @ kearie. is that a hen or a rooster? it moves so fast on my computer i can't get reading on those tail feathers.

i agree with you, vacanick. i would like that much better.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Oops...I think it's a male chicken. <grin> My bad!

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
I find it nice living alone. There was always someone, including my daughter. I was scared to live alone and often had boyfriends who moved in with me. Going from one 'serious' relationship right into another. (When I say I was scared to be alone, it wasn't just as in "without a relationship") I was scared to be alone.

When the husband left on a business trip, I slept sitting up, with all the lights on and a loaded gun under my pillow. I couldn't shower or bath unless someone was around. I was terrified of being alone.

For the last four years I have not wanted to live with anyone. When my daughter moved out I was scared to be alone. Now, I love it. I need it.
I need the quiet and the space. I don't want to share. I don't want to argue. I don't want the stress of feeling responsible for another person.

I do miss out on the cuddling, someone to hold me when I cry. I miss the physical aspects of a relationship...but I need the space more.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
I think the bunny looks cute AND fit. (If I'm allowed to say that). But he/she is not my type. I think I prefer the tomboy, athletic, not much makeup fit look. Who's a Baby Boomer celeb that has that look? Madonna? Jane Fonda ten years ago?

Yellek (reacting to your last post in the last archive, just got back from food shopping)the difference is that I get singled out. I never call any individual poster on this site as heavy or overweight and yet I am individually attacked as either shallow or aggressive. Do you see the difference?


Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
I love having my bed to myself and the dogs but I also miss the spooning and cuddling. But I was never able to sleep that way. Cuddle for a bit then I'd move to my side of the bed and sleep lol.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Me too, Mocha. (except I don't have any dogs...haven't picked up Racer from the pound just yet...).

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Mocha---me too.

I hate sharing a bed. I can't sleep and I can't stand to be touched while sleeping..it makes me sweat. Ewww... Just me and my 2 dogs.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
That chicken gif is too funny. A flashing chicken. I love it!!! (It looks like a pretty thin chicken Newman - but I prefer them with a little more meat on them ).

Personal space is an interesting subject. Once again, I think that our North American definition of personal space is very different from much of the world. We can feel crowded living with one other person in a large home!

The first thing that many North American couples do when they have a baby is plunk it in a baby room all by itself! It starts from when we are very little.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i like the silence of living alone. even when i was a child i had a hard time sleeping when others were moving about the house.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
we only have a 1300+ sq ft home and i don't feel that is too large. but, i can here every breath my dh takes no matter where he is in the house.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Kearie, I disagree with you. I think most men prefer averaged weight women to 40 pound overweight women. I don't think I'm going out on a limb on that one. It's common sense. Do you prefer 40 pound overweight men???

Cnd, I don't define the American Dream as mostly financial. That's just me. What good is having all the money in the world if you have no one to share it with, enjoy it with, pass it on to?

Thanks, Native. I read your 9:01am post just now. This site IS an OPINION site. If we didn't post our opinions, then what are we doing here? I want other people's opinions. I want to express MY opinions too. This is a writing site. Isn't that what we are supposed to do here??!!

Jimmer, you make a good point. I never wanted to be "house poor". That wasn't part of MY American Dream. I value my free time so much. I don't want to be working two jobs just to pay the mortgage and the Lexus.


Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:53 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Most people may prefer to form a romance with people of average weight. I have no idea.

But you know it doesn’t really matter. There is one important thing that I think some of us may be forgetting. We don’t need a lot of people to love us. All we need to do is find that one special person that loves us the way we are.

True about the house Newman. I see so many people in that situation, where they are working very long hours to support a lifestyle that they rarely have time to enjoy. Of course, that is their decision - it just isn't something that I want to do myself.

Cndeariso
Member

06-28-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cndeariso a private message Print Post    
i guess that i am a little different from you in that respect, newman. i don't need anybody specific to share my life with though i am now married. i enjoy my family and friends and the company of perfect strangers. i make my own fun where ever i am and whom ever i am with.

as far as someone to pass my 'stuff' on to if i didn't have dh or my brother's kids then it would all go to the humane society. in fact, there are a number of things that i currently have that i am passing on while i am alive. i am packing up all my non-sentimental stuff from my college sorority and sending it to them.

dh & i do not work two jobs. in fact, i shun overtime. we took 6 vacations last year and have 3 planned so far this year.

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Newman, I completely agree with you about weight. I am lucky to have a very fit BF but unfortunately I am not the same. So I have a very understanding BF who encourages me while I work to lose the weight. It's not only about attractiveness, it's about health. I want to live a long life with this man.

Jimmer, I never thought about how we plunk our children into their own rooms from the beginning. My son slept with me until he was 5 years old. Everyone told me it was wrong but my son and I were happy as can be. Now he sleeps alone and that's fine as well.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 11:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Reminder: posting about other posters in a negative way is NOT permitted at TVCH. That includes saying "you are an aggressive poster".

Immediately discontinue that line of discussion, or prepare to be suspended.

In addition, discontinue arguing about what people can and cannot post. That is OUR job. Thanks!


Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:08 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Newman, more than 60% of americans are over weight. That kind of means the average american is over weight.

I would prefer a tall man, at least 6'2". A dark, shiney, full head of hair a little natural wave to it. I would prefer he not be obese. I don't view 40 lbs as obese. A belly is fine...more to cuddle with. I find I like some love handles. Nicer to cuddle with than muscle and bone. I would prefer someone with flawless skin and a perfect shave. Maybe a hot good looking 25 year old. ROFLMBO

Seriously, I have never dated anyone like that since I was 25.

I prefer sparkling eyes with wit, humor and wisdom. I prefer intelligent, open minded, caring and compromising. I want someone who listens and responds thoughtfully.

I want someone who challenges me mentally. Who stimulates my mind. I want someone who makes me laugh hard and think harder.

I want someone who is compassionate to everyone.

That's what I would prefer.

Ginger1218
Member

08-31-2001

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ginger1218 a private message Print Post    
I live alone. I love love love living alone. I have lived alone for many years, have never been married. I have a boyfried for 13 years (don't even ask) and luckily he does not live with me. I had to share an apartment with a girlfriend for 1 1/2 years after my fire. It was hell for me. Sometimes I think I would like to have Robert there all the time and then I come back down to earth and realize that I could not stand it. But, I will say as I get older I start realizing that I really would like to have somebody there. It would just have to be a really really realy big house.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
I'm thinking of this old jazz standard: "You'd be so nice to come home to...so nice by the fire...it would be paradise...to come home to and love."

That chicken IS too thin. :-)

Personal space. Our culture. A room for the baby, alone vs. how long does he sleep in the parental bed?

I grew up as a twin. Always had a playmate. Now I live alone, am used to it, and for the most part enjoy it. Still, I would prefer to be married. When a marriage works there is nothing better. I've lived both ways. I should know. (That's MY opinon, anyway, for me, not the right answer for everybody).

But the key is finding the right mate. So hard to do. Rather live alone than be with the wrong fit. I lived that way for 9 years and it was hell.


Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:26 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
Newman, I'm curious was that your first and only marriage?? I'm thinking that maybe there was a "right mate" before and got away??

I've never been married or lived with anyone, except my son.

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
No, Karuuna. That was an honest question looking for an honest answer and nothing more.

Native_texan
Member

08-24-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Native_texan a private message Print Post    
My son and I had a discussion this weekend about me having a boyfriend. He told me I couldn't have one. I asked him why. He said I didn't need one. I said I could have one if I wanted. He said okay, but he has to have a job. I told him that would be our number one requirement because I wasn't going to support another man ever again.

Mind you, I'm not asking to be supported - I just want to at least be equals financially. And, to be honest, at this point in time that's really not asking too much.

Right now, I'm rather happy with my life. I'm not really ready to start dating yet (the thought absolutely terrifies me). That could be why I haven't been asked. Maybe there is a force field around me that men can detect.

I'm definitely not ready to start answering to anyone. I can find myself out running around doing errands or whatever and it dawns on me how wonderful it is that I don't have to explain my whereabouts or when I'll be home or what I've been doing. I know that will change when my son is old enough to start being home by himself if I want to go somewhere, but at least I won't be having to convince him that I wasn't cheating on him.

Merrysea
Member

08-13-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 1:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Merrysea a private message Print Post    
I love living alone! When I was married, I was afraid to be alone - I'd hear every creak and squeak there was. But as soon as I moved out, that fear went away. I used to have to sleep facing the door - I didn't want anyone sneaking up on me. Now, I sleep every which way, and it's all good. Of course, I was only alone for about five years, then my oldest son moved in with me, and now my middle son has also moved in with me. But I'm still in control, which I never was when I was married.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 1:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
Baby, I don't think that anyone implied that it wasn't an honest question. And, I think you received a very honest answer.

It's nice to see that you have decided to post with us again by the way.

........

I have a friend (a guy, if it matters) that has a different view on attractiveness than what I've heard expressed here so far.

He can look at a woman and think that she is average looking at best. But if she indicates that she is attracted to him, she suddenly becomes in his eyes, the most beautiful woman in the world. I'm not sure if that says something good or bad?

Vacanick
Member

07-12-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 1:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Vacanick a private message Print Post    
That's called Lust!!! LOL!