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Archive through April 03, 2006

The TVClubHouse: General Discussion ARCHIVES: 2006 Mar. ~ 2006 May: Baby Boomers, Living Alone, Changing Habits (ARCHIVES): Archive through April 03, 2006 users admin

Author Message
Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:05 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
"Wendo, I think we are confusing a few things here. One is honesty. Another is choice in a mate."

Oh no, I get it. I'm not confused at all.

"I said I wouldn't want to go out with someone who was 40 pounds overweight. My choice. I wouldn't have to tell her that, would I? And I wouldn't. I just wouldn't call her up."

Yep, your choice. Who said you'd have to tell her?

If I choose not to date someone with a big mole on their nose, my choice. I'm allowed to be shallow and choose someone based on looks.

"Wendo, it's still ok for me to choose to go out with "fit" women, isn't it?"

I don't care. You don't need my permission.

"Kearie, you could tell your SIL that situps really aren't the answer. You can't isolate weight loss in one area like that. She'd be better off doing aerobic exercise for 30 minutes a day. That burns calories. Just some unsolicited advice <maybe you could give it to your daughter instead of going thru SIL)."

Based one Kearie's post regarding this situation, I don't think exercise tips are needed.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:07 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
"Yes but what is so frustrating to me is that people are very upset that someone would consider not dating someone else for physical reasons."

It doesn't upset me. But, IMO, to not date someone for physical reasons is very shallow. Just being honest.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
I don't think many people do 200 sit ups a night that aren't fit. She's obviously fit if she can do that. She was a gymnast and a marine. Fit is her middle name.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
Kearie, I really feel for you and your daughter. What a terrible situation.

Perhaps, in time, she will be able to see the situation for what it is; an abusive one and leave.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:12 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
What about the example that I gave further up the thread? Was I shallow in that situation?

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
Kearie, sounds like a control issue; that he needs to control her and what she does. What is it with people who need to do that? They inflict such pain and emotional damage.

Really sad.

I'll keep your daughter in my thoughts Kearie.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
Which post Jimmer? Time?

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Newman wrote....""Kearie, you could tell your SIL that situps really aren't the answer. You can't isolate weight loss in one area like that. She'd be better off doing aerobic exercise for 30 minutes a day. That burns calories. Just some unsolicited advice <maybe you could give it to your daughter instead of going thru SIL)."

Newman...this advice shows you aren't hearing what I'm saying. Her husband is abusive expecting her to lose weight and in the way he supports her. (Sit-ups etc) It's not about her physical fitness....it's about HIS issues.

Advising me how to better advise my daughter to loose weight is offensive to me and shows me you don't hear what I'm saying.

Telling and expecting your spouse to lose weight the way he does is wrong. Your advice to me was inappropriate considering MY CONCERNS.

Definitely unwanted advise that I would have been better off not hearing because it angers me. I wish you understood.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
9:40 PM Board Time.

Newman
Member

09-25-2004

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Newman a private message Print Post    
Sorry Kearie. I agree with everything Max said up there at 10:50pm. Sigh. I feel for you...and your daughter.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
I do believe it is a control issue with SIL. I too pray she gets the courage to file for divorce sooner rather than later. She deserves better.

Jimmer, I think hygiene is different than physical appearance.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Her surgery is tomorrow morning. sigh.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
Jimmer, just read your post. No, I don't see that as shallow because, like Kearie, it's one, a hygiene issue (not bathing) and two, it's a behavior issue (picking ones feet skin).

(ETA: I would think picking ones feet skin would be more appropriate after marriage or something.)

JMO.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:28 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
I know it's frustrating Kearie. Things do have a way of working out eventually. I truly believe that. There have been many in abusive relationships that get out because they know they don't want to be abused anymore.

Keep supporting her the best you can. (((Hugs!)

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
LOL...yes, you can pick your toe jam after you're married, but not before then, that's just tasteless. <grin>

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Thanks Wendo...I trust things will work out.

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Kearie,

I forgot just now to tell you on the phone that my thoughts and prayers will be with Areal and you today! I will call you at some point to see how things are going.

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
{{{Kearie}}}

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Thanks Baby---now go to bed! LOL
I'm headed too.

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
ahhh (((Wendo)))(((Baby)))

Kearie
Member

07-21-2005

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kearie a private message Print Post    
Thanks Newman...I'd hug you, but seems you have an aversion to them. <grin>

Wendo
Member

08-07-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Wendo a private message Print Post    
G'nite!

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 12:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Nighty, night girls!

Baby
Member

01-08-2006

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 2:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Baby a private message Print Post    
Newman,

Just curious, would you date someone who is short, chubby, disabled and in a wheelchair? What about someone who is short, thin, disabled and in a wheelchair?

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Monday, April 03, 2006 - 7:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Baby, why do you care? Really? Isn't that a setup question? Won't you be tempted to take his response personally and possibly be hurt by it? So why ask?

Frankly, I've dated men who were overweight, and I was happier with men who were fit. Why? Because we could go hiking and riding and biking together - things I love to do. Dating someone who could not do those things meant we spent a lot of time apart. The same would be true of someone who was in a wheelchair. Of course, you never know what might happen, and if someone I was already in love with became chair-bound I'd stay without question. So, now tell me I'm shallow. :-)

Honestly, all over this board, women rip other women apart for having imperfect bodies. Or men for having pores that are too big.

Are only women allowed to be so candid? In all those other cases, there was no uproar like there was here.

I recommend that folks not take things so freakin' personally. It's a discussion board. People will say things you don't agree with. So, don't agree with them, that's okay.

But don't call them mean, or shallow, especially when the women on this board often say the same kind of things and somehow that seems to be okay.

Further posts of that ilk will get you suspended. Enough is enough.