Author |
Message |
Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 2:20 pm
weiner, your "i do" cracked me up!!!
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 2:26 pm
How about wearing the family band on the opposite hand but use it during the ceremony.
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 2:28 pm
karen, it's very acceptable to wear all colors of gold together. the prongs on my yellow gold solitaire are white gold, so it looks good with either a gold or a white gold band, particularly if i have a band on each side of the solitaire. i see people mixing silver and gold together all the time now. i love white gold but discovered i am a 'yellow' gold person. when i wear white or wear silver, it just washes out. i am very blond and i guess the yellow works better for me. i have hispanic and italian friends who look phenomenal in silver or white gold. i wish i could get away with the cheaper silver! but it fades away on me, turns my fingers black, i can't wear it in pierced ears, etc. i am thinking your bands and solitaire will look great as a mixed set, so have at it! MIL might be offended if you changed the color of the family bands, too. they just wouldn't be the 'same' and family counts big time. for her to gift these to you, it just seems more politic to keep them as they were given to you; except for sizing, of course. JMHO and you could start getting other jewelry in white/yellow gold combinations, too, to make it match even better. a lot of heart lockets are done in two-tones, and a bracelet watch of two-tones is a stunner.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 2:28 pm
Or for special occassions. My sis inherited bils grandmothers set, but like you had her heart set on something completely different. They did the ceremony with grandmas set and for most dress up occassions she wears it but then for everyday wear she wears the set she and bil picked out.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 2:36 pm
my husband bought me a yellow gold set, but when my mother passed, i got my great grandmother's wedding ring. i have it on my right hand. it's in yellow gold. i say use it for the ceremony and wear it on the other hand, and use the one that you and BF pick out on the left! OH AND CONGRATULATIONS MY DARLING CYBERDAUGHTER!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 2:59 pm
Hi Karen, congratulations! I like Mocha's suggestion. Wear it for the ceremony, then on the other hand. I have an interlocking wedding/engagement ring set. I can wear them together or apart depending on my mood. And since dh got me a larger stone for an anniversary present last year, and then put the smaller stone into a new ring, I now have 2 engagement rings I can alternate. Lotsa fun! 
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Bandit
Member
07-29-2001
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 3:04 pm
I would think twice about getting the ring dipped. You don't want his family to be offended. Then every time you look at that ring, instead of thinking about your husband, you're left with memories of resentment, and maybe even, regret. I like the idea of maybe wearing it on your other hand. You could also do the two-tone thing. My engagement ring is white gold with yellow gold accents, and luckily I found a wedding band with yellow gold accents as well. I like to wear both silver and gold, so I wanted a set that was both white and yellow. From far away, it looks like white gold only.
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Justavice
Member
11-22-2005
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 4:30 pm
I don't know anything about resizing rings or adding gold, but what about having the wedding band converted to a wedding band for your DH?
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 4:38 pm
LOL -- I never really thought about the emotional repurcussions of having the ring dipped, especially since this is my BF's great-grandparent's set we're talking about. I like the idea of using the ring for the ceremony and then wearing it on the other hand. I like that better than the idea of destroying my prescious engagement ring with yellow gold trying to make it match the band! I say that like yellow gold isn't worth it's weight -- I do like yellow gold to a certain degree, I have a gold ring now that I wear and love... it's just that the engagement ring, you know... being a girl and all, there is a very strict set of parameters that this ring must abide by. And in my mind, it's been a big, fat princess-cut solitaire set in white gold for as long as I can remember. I'm almost always on the short-end-of-the-stick when it comes to compromise.... but a girl's gotta pick her battles and know when to put her foot down, right? Thanks for all the suggestions! I knew my TVCHers would come through for me.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 4:52 pm
Karen, I think its great that your inlaws are giving you jewelery instead of grief! LOL. Enjoy.
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Yankee_in_ca
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 7:01 pm
CONGRATULATIONS Karen!!!
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Vee
Member
02-23-2004
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 7:15 pm
Such great advice to consider, Karen. Will be eager to hear what you actually decide. Personally, I think it is wonderful that you love your future mil and that you are loved in return. Perfect way to start!
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 7:32 pm
Actually, Vee, to be perfectly honest, after 5+ years MIL and I have yet to meet, LOL!! She lives on the other side of the country, and either timing, finances, or a combo of both have prevented a trip one way or another. There are rumours that she's coming out West this spring/early summer, though. Go figure that the daughter in law that she didn't want to give the bands to, lives 20 minutes away from her!! Funny though, that my BF is 100% ingrained in my family. To quote my mother, "This is my son-in-law Don, and his girlfriend, Karen."
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 7:36 pm
And just a reminder now that the page my original post was on has archived... THERE HAS NOT BEEN A PROPOSAL YET -- thanks for all the congrats, though! . He is shopping and wanted my thoughts on whether or not I wanted to wear his Mom's bands, as it would affect the choice of gold he bought.
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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 8:29 pm
Well, not in an attempt to confuse you or make you uncomfortable, Sweetie--but I think you want honesty here. Could affect your relationship with your MIL in the future. If I were your MIL, I could get used to the idea of you wearing it on the other hand--but I doubt that is her wish for you. And besides, hrrrmph, I like yellow gold!! Although I'd grant you complete freedom to mess with it, inside I would be shocked that you'd want to change it--or had the audacity to ask the question. (Maybe her DIL preferred her own set and said as much early on!) I also think that the gift of her wanting you to have the rings is far more important than their style. And a future anniversary might bring you another ring to use as a switcheroo (as Mameblanche is able to do). And Bandit, hon, don't feel bad about Weinermr's wit zooming right by you. I knew (from his previous incorrigible posts) that Weiner MUST be throwing a curve with that answer, but it still zipped past me, too! Next time, you'll be more suspicious of him, I'm sure!
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 10:10 pm
karen, my solitaire is a 1.10 princess cut in yellow gold with the white gold prongs. look at diamonds. sometimes they reflect better with white gold and sometimes better with yellow gold. my diamond is very 'white', between and F and G in color. it looks great in yellow gold...not sure how it would look in white gold. go down to a store, even without your future dh, and look at rings in both colors of gold. princess cuts do not have as many facets as round stones, so sometimes less light reflects off the stone. i'm sure you'll do the right thing with the great-grandparents' bands. too bad you and dh can't each wear one on a nice gold chain, to be two halves making a whole...but he might not do that, anyway!
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Graceunderfyre
Member
01-21-2004
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 6:15 am
question for everyone. . . my baby brother decided earlier this month that he's going to propose. . .so he bought a ring and popped the question on February 12th. . .now they are planning a wedding for July 1st. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I said yes becuase I love them both. But here's the problem, we are at a pretty poor point in our lives right now and we're working on making it better, but quite honestly, I'm not sure how we are even going to afford the 12 hour trip. Besides the fact that Jai was asked to be in DH's cousin's wedding 17 hours away on June 10th last summer. To add to it, I just found out on Friday that my brother wants Jai to be a ring bearer in their wedding too. The dress isn't super expensive, but I have the one from the October wedding I could wear (I've honestly never worn an "old outfit" to a wedding before - what a snob my mom raised) and lots of perfectly beautiful sarees I could wear. DH said he refuses to comment but now I'm wondering if I should back out as a bridesmaid and just let Jai be in it. Is that bad? Both grooms told me we could buy a black tux for Jai and then rent a vest matching theirs. . .and I checked it out on eBay - for less than $50 my kid could really be stylin....
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Ginger1218
Member
08-31-2001
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 7:58 am
I think that saying no to your future sister in law could possibly hurt her and your brother. See if you can wear one of your dresses - there is nothing wrong with that. If she wants you to buy a new dress, then let her know about your financial situation and let her make the decision.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 9:37 am
i always find that we worry more ourselves and talk ourselves out of things, when you really need to talk to your future sister in law and brother. they don't want your clothes at the wedding they want YOU! (well you know what i mean!!!)
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 10:22 am
How would one of the sarees fit into your future SIL's plans? Seems like that would be fine, especially if you have one that sort of matches the color of other female attendants (if any). I've been matron of honor twice but both weddings were very small, in-home and I could just choose whatever dress I wanted, which I did. It really is an honor for your future SIL to choose you, someone from her fiance's family, so it seems important for you to do this. And she should be flexible and want to accomodate you as far as cost is concerned. Jai, of course, will be adorable! ==== Karen, advance congratulations!
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 10:33 am
Grace, I think you should talk to your baby bro and his future bride. Let them know your dilemma. Especially the part about traveling to the wedding. It's possible that they will really really want you to be part of the wedding party, and can help out with some of the expenses. Let them know you really want to be there, and be part of the wedding party, but are not sure you can manage it. (That's what I would do. Honesty is always the best policy, and family is family. They usually know the good 'n bad of what's going on.)
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Graceunderfyre
Member
01-21-2004
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 11:14 am
Thanks guys - I really appreciate the advice. My brother called while I was at church and left a message saying they decided that they are going to have suits made for the ring bearers so they match the pin strip suits that all the guys are wearing. So I sorta figured it out that now I have to talk to them seriously because I can't afford this at all. I just feel bad because I feel like I'm dampening the spirit of it all 
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 1:27 pm
Grace, you are not dampening the spirit! It's an honor to be asked to be part of a bridal party, and it's not a disgrace if it's something beyond your reach. I'm sure your brother will understand. And it's far better to talk to 'em NOW than later, y'know? 
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 3:33 pm
I agree.. talk to him right away and I'm sure you can work something out.
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Graceunderfyre
Member
01-21-2004
| Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 3:57 pm
Well I emailed him and then txtd him to tell him he needs to check his email - he's in the boonies of Colorado so his phone reception is so bad that we don't talk as much on the phone. . .so let's see what happens.
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