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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Monday, October 31, 2005 - 8:27 am
depends on what the tattoo is of course. but most are innocuous. it also depends on whether this is a public or private school. when my daughter went to a christian private school, if it was keeping in their teachings, it would be acceptable. such as a "WWJD" tattoo on the arm. in her public school, as long as it didn't violate school policy against gangs or drugs, etc, it would be acceptable.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Monday, October 31, 2005 - 12:13 pm
Depends on your school Julie, I'd call and ask their policy though. Ours kind of frowns on temp tattoos, but don't get bent out of shape if kids have them either. Our dress code asks that if the kids are going to wear them, they be placed somewhere they can be concealed during school so they don't cause a distraction. Of course our school also has a policy against folders and backpacks that depict cartoon characters because it may cause a distraction in class. Has anyone ever taken their kid to a Michael's (or any arts and crafts) craft class? Ours is about to start a begining kids drawing/painting class. It's four Wednesdays in November, 2 hours each week, $35 per kid, but you have to buy all the materials. I'm wondering if it's worth the price of the fee plus the supplies and if over the course of 8 hours they really learn enough to make it worth it. Caleb's been really getting into art lately, checking out every book the school library has on teaching yourself to draw and I think he might enjoy a class. But I don't want him to be disappointed if he doesn't learn much more than he knows (the class is for kids 5-10 so I'm half afraid it may be too young for him too.)
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, November 04, 2005 - 10:36 am
I have a question: Believe it or not, time outs for two minutes (she's two) have been working a lot better for me than a swat. But, what should I do if I put her in the time out, and she preceeds to go and do as she pleases?
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Friday, November 04, 2005 - 10:41 am
I think you just pick her up, put her back and simply tell her her 2 minutes are not up yet so she knows that she cannot get away with not listening to you. she is just challenging you to see if she can get away with it. What about setting a timer that goes off when she sits down so she knows she is not allowed to get up until the timer goes off.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, November 04, 2005 - 10:46 am
We did that for fifteen minutes the other night, I'd sit her down, she'd get back up, it went on and on, finally I swatted her and sat her down, and she stayed for the two minutes. It was hectic, but I won in the long run.
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Skootz
Member
07-23-2003
| Friday, November 04, 2005 - 10:59 am
consistancy is the big thing..don't let her win, because if you do, she will know it and test you each and every time. You have to let them know who's the boss. If you didn't you may just have to sit with her for the 2 minutes to make sure she cannot take off either. good for you to sticking it out the other night. Good luck and isn't getting kids to listen and behave fun lol
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, November 04, 2005 - 11:02 am
We went rounds for an hour one night trying to get her to say sorry for kicking me. She wailed for an hour before she finally said it. Me and Daddy were both sitting with her, and just kept repeating "you can get up when you say 'sorry'". That kid has will power and stubborness like I have never seen before.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Monday, November 21, 2005 - 11:37 pm
Another headache for Dakota tonight, and again, the only thing she has in common today as with other headache days, she got less sleep than normal. Darren got up about 5:30 this morning and she followed him out. Just around a month since the last one. She looked so miserable. Her eyes looked off, something I've seen with my own when I get that bad. She did go lay down, but didn't go to sleep, just laid their and half heartedly played with a doll. Also couldn't stand to come out in the living room where it was lit up and asked for nothing more than applesauce and water at dinner. Hopefully she'll feel better tomorrow, she has a field trip she's pretty excited about.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 3:24 pm
I am at my wits end...... My mother, who watches my DD for me while I am at work, refuses to help me potty train her and will not stop giving her a pacifier. DD didn't have a pacifier as a baby. She all of the sudden wanted one about six months ago becaus the neighbor girl had one. She doesn't get one at home, nor do we offer her one. My mother, however, says it makes her feel secure and I shouldn't push her to grow up. My mom, trying to keep her a baby, encourages a pacifier and condones it. I went over to my gramma's at lunch and DD was there with my mom, and she had a pacifier. I asked her if I could have it, and she willingly handed it over and I put it in the cupboard. Later my gramma called me to ask me where it was and I told her I wasn't telling her and not to give it to her. Later she called me back and said she had found it. I said why do you give it to her. She replied, and I am not kidding "She wanted it and it's her call." I yelled into the phone "She's two, and I said no, and it's my call!" Needless to say I got hung up on.... I have to go and get DD in an hour and I am not sure what to do.....
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 3:34 pm
This sounds like more of an issue between you and your mom than your daughter using a pacifer. It sounds like you don't feel like your mom is respecting your opinion. Personally, I think children need loveys, so I didn't have a problem with pacifiers, blankets or bottles. Heck, we all need loveys...look at all the adults that turn to food, alcohol and cigarettes for comfort and even TVCH! LOL I think you need to decide if you are really upset about your dd using a pacifer or your mom allowing her to use it when you said no.
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Kep421
Member
08-11-2001
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 3:35 pm
*hugs her lovey and nods in agreement with Texannie*
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 3:55 pm
The pacifier looks ridiculous, IMO. I can't stand to see a kid in a store with a pacifier in it's mouth. I don't think it's a "lovey" issue, as she just started with it and doesn't ask for it at home at all. But my mom will say to her "hey do you want your pacifier?" And of course DD will say yes. Ask her why she likes a pacifier and she'll say "Because Hailey has one", which is the neighbor girl, who always has one in her mouth and one in each hand. My mom's justification for this is "if you baby her now you won't have to baby her later." which makes no sense to me as I treat her as a two year old. My mom would prefer her to stay in diapers, drink a bottle (which she still gives her one everyday) and she speaks baby talk to her. It's demeaning if you ask me. My daughter is smart, very advanced for her age. Her doctors are impressed with her grasp for speech concepts and motor skills. Why anyone would want to hinder progress and force a child to stay stationary or regress is beyond me. Besided, her dentist said it wasn't a good thing for her to have something to suck on. It makes a rash on her face and I hate it when she talks to me with it in her mouth. She always gives it to me no problem, so it's not like she is being deprived. At home, we don't give her a bottle, we are potty training, and she will go all by herself, but my mom doesn't want to inconvenience her. I am starting to feel that daycare might be the best avenue, but I am afraid she'll not get the emotional support and closeness she needs from daycare that she would from close family. My mom says she would be heartbroken if we put her in daycare. I wish my sister didn't work and could take her with her, as she would respect my wishes. I think I will throw all pacifiers away that I come into contact with......
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 4:39 pm
If you are getting free daycare, I think that is the price you have to pay. My opinion, this is not worth the fight. Soon enough she won't even want it. Since she is not getting one at home or on weekends, she is not dependent on it. Pick your battles and this is not worthy of a fight (imo). You are getting the best possible daycare for free, right? A lot of moms/grammas would get burnt out with watching their grandkids fulltime, so appreciate what you have and don't irriate your gifthorse! 
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 4:44 pm
By the way, a "regular" daycare is great for toddlers and preschoolers. They offer more than just emotional support. They provide all sorts of things from socialization to learning. It is great-especially for a busy kid who is ready to learn a lot of stuff.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 4:48 pm
i happen to disagree. this is definitely a showing of the mother trying to one up the daughter as to how she should raise the child. my daughter was in daycare at the same age, and got lots of emotional support and closeness. call up daycares in your local area. by law they have to be open to people to view their facilities. find one that seems the right balance for you and your daughter if your mother is unwilling to compromise on your wishes. YOU are the parent, not your mother.
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Abbynormal
Member
08-04-2001
| Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 6:18 pm
I am in agreement with Escapee on this. If you feel this strongly about it, it is a worthy battle to pick. If not the pacifier and potty-training then it will be something else. You need to nip this NOW! You are the parent of this child. Not your mother. I personally can't stand to see a child that can talk have a pacifier stuck in their mouth. The same with a bottle, if they can actually talk and ask for a drink they do not need a bottle. That's like going and fetching a diaper for themselves when they need to be changed. This is strictly MY opinion and not debatable. Escapee, stick to your own convictions on what you feel is best for YOUR child. My mother and I disagreed only one time and I let her know quick that he was my child and not to ever do that again. (I can't even remember what it was now, over 23 yrs ago) Anyway, she never over-stepped her bounds again. My mother is my best friend and I have always asked and wanted her advice, but ultimately my sons are mine to raise the way DH and I see fit. You might remind your mother how she would have felt if her wishes regarding the raising of you had been ignored. Good Luck!
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 8:43 am
Daddy thre away her pacifiers last night and she never asked for a bottle. Although, she was up ALL NIGHT! I am in such a horrible mood this morning because of it, too. I need a nap. I am so glad tomorrow is Saturday so I can get some much needed sleep. *sigh* and now there is going to be another one to keep me awake. I just want to cry right now.
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Serenity
Member
06-28-2005
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 9:23 am
((((Escapee)))) ITA with the others on this board who say that you should have a discussion with your mother. I hope things will get better for you soon. Personally, I am all for daycare - even just for socialization with other children. Our daycare encourages parents to drop in whenever they want to see how their kids are doing. Both of my kids have received great benefits. ((( TVCH ))) THANK YOU!!! I just want to say thanks to all the parents who responded to my "Potty Training" thread a few months back. I backed off of DS and let him take control. You all were right - he eventually decided that he had had enough of his pull-ups. He has been wearing underwear for two weeks straight with no accidents. He is FINALLY trained. My nightmares of him going to Kindergarten in a diaper are over !! LOL!! }
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 11:01 am
I sweear by day care. My son was in day care from six months of age and it was the best experience for him and he had wonderful caregivers that were constant in his life from six months of age right up to kindergarten. he is 14 now and he still talks about some of the things they did.
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Kady
Member
07-30-2000
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 11:20 am
escapee...i think if you can afford daycare, it is time to put your daughter in. i'm all for the grandma keeping the young ones up to a certain age and then it's time for them to sit back and just be grandma not caregiver.
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Jimmer
Member
08-30-2000
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 11:35 am
I think the day-care or grandma question is a difficult one to answer with generalities because any decision that you make is very dependent on the specific people involved. What may work great for some people, may not work as well for someone else.
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Spitfire
Member
07-18-2002
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 11:52 am
I'm just stopping in to say I agree about daycare. Sam has been in a private home daycare for just over 4 months now and he loves it. I love it to!!! I think they learn things in that environment that cannot be learned otherwise IMO.....especially at this point, being an only child. My MIL wanted to watch him but my choice was no for many of the problems you are now facing. I compromised and she has him 1 afternoon a week and I think she is happy with that. While obviously Grandma's mean well, they are Grandmas who have raised children themselves and don't always see things the way we do. For this reason they sometimes think it's OK to ignore our desires as parents. I also think that sometimes being with someone (like a Grandma) who will always be there to please and not challenge is not always the best thing. Lets face it....they are Grandma's and they really are here to please!! Grandma's are the BEST!
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Friday, December 02, 2005 - 12:33 pm
If it's an important issue for you you need to sit down (you and hubby so there's no miscommunication between the three of you) with your mom and outline what you want and what is and isn't ok. If she can't follow your wishes, then it might be time to move your daughter to daycare, the thing is if mom doesn't do what you've asked her to do you have to be really willing to send your daughter to daycare or she'll just keep doing it. We were so lucky with mom. Despite the fact that she'd raised us, is a nurse, and had worked for years when we were little in daycare and preschool, she never did anything without consulting us first. There was only one time we had a problem, and it wasn't really anyone's fault, just miscommunication and the fact that Darren and I were on totally opposite shifts at work and mom rarely saw us together or even twice in a row. Darren had the kids in the morning, mom the afternoon, me the late afternoon and evening. Caleb had a thirty minute limit for tv which we'd all talked about, but none of us realized we were each giving him half an hour a day. It was only when Caleb mentioned watching a show mom new he hadn't watched with her that we realized it and corrected it, lol. If you find a good daycare, they're wonderful. Ours was daycare for 2-3 year olds and preschool for 4-5's. Caleb started at 2 1/2, he'd go to daycare for a few hours, then to grandma's. Same thing with Dakota. They had other kids their own age to play with, they went on field trips, they were taught and loved and read to, they had time apart from each other. With Caleb especially that was important since he started when Dakota was a newborn. It gave him a chance for some away time where grandma (or dad) could focus on Dakota and he got to play and got attention for a few hours without having to compete with a baby. Whenever I talk about how great the daycare/school was, I tell the same story. Right around the time my step dad died, several other kids lost loved ones and the teachers father had also passed away. Whenever she noticed one of this group of kids getting sad, she'd take them all off to a quiet corner where they'd sit and share stories, talk, pray, cry, whatever they needed to do. I'll never forget the day I walked in and found the teacher off to the side with a group of kids, Caleb in her lap, eyes streaming tears as they prayed and how when they were done, he gave her a hug and thanked her cuz he felt less sad. Caleb's preschool teacher moved out of town about six months after he graduated, but Dakota's is still here running her own daycare now. We see her once or twice a month and both the kids still run up and hug her and talk about how much fun they had when they were in school with her (she was Caleb's daycare teacher when he was 2-3.) And he still talks about how much she helped him after grandpa died. If, big fat if, lol, we ended up having another baby, I wouldn't hesitate to find a good daycare/preschool once they hit about 2, even though I'm home. I wouldn't do a half day like when Caleb and Dakota were that age, but a couple hours a day for them to be socializing with kids their own age is good for them. And yep, California has an open door policy for schools. You're allowed to come and go, stay and observe the class, not leave at all, lol. One of the things that really drew us to the school we eventually chose was that they invited Caleb before we registered to come and visit class a few times to see if he liked it. Then after he graduated, he had like 2 weeks til Kindergarten started and they invited him to join their class, not only for those two weeks, but also for the off track months he had.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Thursday, December 08, 2005 - 3:39 pm
Ok, someone smack me. I've gotten myself into a corner, lol. As parents we have to pick and chose our battles. What's important, what isn't? One of the battles I have recently taken up is Caleb wearing his coat in the mornings when it's freezing outside. We set down and had a chat one day about how this wasn't going to be a fight every morning, he was wearing his coat period and that if he wanted to fight about it he was gonna get in trouble. Haven't had a problem, or so I thought. Pick the kids up from school, neighbor girls says, "I don't want to get Caleb in trouble, but I saw him on the playground right after you dropped us off and he already had his coat off." Now, let me say this, he's not hot, he will stand there shivering, teeth chattering and tell me how it's not cold. I have no idea why he doesn't want to wear his coat, we took forever picking it out so it wasn't too heavy or too bulky and he chose the color! Now I'm stuck cuz I'm not backing down and he's being stubborn. What the heck am I supposed to do run to school a few times a day and force it on him? Let me add, the reason I'm not willing to back down is that he's gonna end up sick, and if he ends up sick Kota will too and she's been doing so well lately that I'm not willing to take chances.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, December 08, 2005 - 3:47 pm
Make sure he wears it to school, if and when he takes it off and if he gets cold, that's his uncomfortableness. Kids get sick from other kids, being indoors a lot during cold weather, not washing hands, etc. It's never been proven that cold will make you sick, it will only worsen what you already have. I think that is really all you can do, short of asking the teachers to step in.
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