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Jkm
Member
07-10-2002
| Monday, September 26, 2005 - 10:23 am
15 year old classmate of my daughter - freshman - popular - football player -- tragically fell from a roof he and his grandfather were putting rafters on. -- both fell - grandpa a cracked skull - grandson - passed away a few days later. Honestly, I figured the first time we'd have to deal with a classmates death would have been due to a driving accident -- but this was just a freak kind of thing. No lesson to learn - just something gave way and they both fell. How have your teenagers dealt with this kind of thing? My daughter knew him and had a class -- but was not one of his circle of friends. Many of the kids are going to the funeral today. Viewing yesterday was different than I'd ever been to. Lots of places for the teens to leave messages -- around the matting of a photo -- a big message board for notes to the family and sharpies next to the coffin to write notes on the black coffin.... Never seen that before -- but it looked like a teenagers note book or a whole bunch of instant messages....
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Schoolmarm
Member
02-18-2001
| Monday, September 26, 2005 - 2:46 pm
When my cousin's daughter and her boyfriend died in a wreck last year, they had the kids all sign the coffin. I found it very strange to do that, but it seemed to really help the kids. Letting the kids talk about it helps the most. Going to the funeral will help some kids, but will make other extremely uncomfortable/depressed/overwrought. It is a good time to treasure your family and loved ones. We all will die someday, and deaths like this....unexpected, accidental, and unpreventable....can really help teenagers realize that their life is not immortal. It is extremely important for parents, teachers and friends to listen to each young person when they grieve. Sometimes a young person may try to take their own life, or go into a deep depression. I have taught school for a long time, and there are often other "on purpose" deaths that happen after a classmate dies. Some want attention, some are depressed, some have other reasons. This is really tough for the parents, as well. There is a group called Compassionate Friends that helps parents with the death of a child. Maybe some parents here can give some more input.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 3:24 pm
When my daughter was in the fourth grade, a friend of her's died in a horseback riding accident. It was really hard for her to understand. She had lost her grandmother but nothing like someone your own age dying. They had a lovely memorial service at the school and the kids could all tell their thoughts and stories about Angela. Her sister sang. I think being able to talk about it, is the absolute best thing.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 3:37 pm
When I was in second grade, a classmate died in a car accident. Now, let me set this up for you. He went to work with his dad on a saturday, and his dad let him drive the company truck around the job site, and the kid wrecked and died. At the time, I remember my teacher telling us about it and her being upset, but not really grasping the concept. Now, my neices father has died. She is six. She hadn't seen him in three months, and her mother's fiance is the most prominent male in her life. Her mother was wondering how to tell her about her father. While she isn't a dumb kid, she's not real in tune with reality, she's kinda off in her own world, been babied very very much her whole life.
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