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Grand Exits Gone Wrong

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2005 Sep. ~ Nov.: Free Expressions...: Grand Exits Gone Wrong users admin

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Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 6:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
They were talking about this on my radio show today. One story the DJ told was of a woman who threw a drink in a guys face (who'd been a jerk to her), and stormed out of the bar; only to have to return to the bar cause she forgot her purse!

So, do you have any stories of that nature?

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 6:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
I was a cashier in a convenience store that also sold gas. The manager had posted signs all over the gas pumps that we could not break anything over a $20 bill. Any time we got more than 50$ in the register we were supposed to wrap it up and make a drop into the safe. And we were supposed to do it when nobody was in the store, so nobody could see us handling large amounts of cash.

One young man pumped 5$ worth of gas, then came in and handed me a $50. I asked him for something smaller, since I didn't have enough change to break it. He said he didn't, and very haughtily told me "well, I've already pumped the gas, so what are you going to do about it?" It was a very busy weekend day, and I had a long line of people at the register. I told him, "well, I'm not supposed to do this, but if you wait till this line of people is gone, I'll probably be able to break it for you, if I don't make a safe drop." So, he stood aside and waited till that line cleared.

I gathered up his change as the store began to fill up with a new long line of people. I guess he figured he'd make a dramatic scene with this new lot of people, cause as I handed him his change, he loudly protested, "just what is the meaning of making me stand here and wait all this time until you waited on me?" He dramatically snatched the change from my hand, snapped his body around to face the door as he flipped a perfectly executed "look" at me over his shoulder, holding the change in the air at shoulder level for more dramatic effect.

I'll admit I was taken aback by his outburst, but didn't have time to react. So I guess that's when I got a little Divine Intervention or something. He decided to complete his Grand Exit by dramatically kicking the door open ahead of him as he exited. The only problem was, he picked the side of the door I had locked! The door failed to fly open in front of him as he expected, and he didn't have time to stop the momentum of his body. He ended up doing a lovely vertical face-plant SPLAT right into the door!

The whole store erupted into laughter, and I was glad to join in! I've never seen a person's face turn so many different colors as his did. It was truly a Justice is Served moment for me!

Abby7
Member

07-17-2002

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 6:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Abby7 a private message Print Post    
who, i'm laughing too hard to think of a story of my own after reading yours.

thanks, i needed a laugh today.

Finqwik
Member

09-23-2000

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 6:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Finqwik a private message Print Post    
LOL definitely divine intervention, little man was lucky you could change the note at all.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 7:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    


Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 7:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
hahaa great story Who!!!

Back in the late 80's I had one of those banana clip hair pieces, the clip on and give ya a long pony tail.

My boyfriend and I were at a club, didn't want to dance and I did, I said if you don't I will go find someone else then! I got up all snotty and flipped my pony tail in his direction.....well it came off and hit him in the face! LOL

Mameblanche
Member

04-13-2005

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 7:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mameblanche a private message Print Post    
It didn't happen to me, but a very nice, extremely eccentric old lady I know told me this story that happened to her, and knowing her - I believe it.

She got off a bus, and was walking down a busy street, and felt her slip falling off and just kept walking... until it was on the sidewalk, and she still kept walking, never looking down or back. She could tell people obviously noticed, and were chuckling, but she pretended not to notice. Its not quite a grand exit story, unless you count the bus, but its hilarious to me. She cracks up herself, every time she tells it.

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 10:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
LOL. I just saw a clip on the news of Bush doing a fumbled Grand Exit! I didn't catch where he was or what he was doing speaking, but he went to leave the room, and the doors were locked! He had to turn around and find a way out through some opening in the paneling behind the stage he had been on! LOL!

Tera
Member

08-10-2000

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 10:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tera a private message Print Post    
I think this story would be more of a bad karma payback.

Back in '97 I bought myself a sports car and joined a car club. I was only 1 of 2 females in this male dominated club. Since I was an old (30 y.o.) married woman I was not treated very nicely by a few of the guys. One guy in particular was a real jerk. He had one of those ugly egos and thought he was a real stud.

His car was very nice and he put a lot of money and modifications into it.

The car club joined in with a nationwide message board and we discussed car stuff all day long.

Soon after the jerk guy added nitrous oxide to his car his engine blew. He discussed the problem with others on the message board and told them the name of the dealership he took the car to for warranty service. He expected them to give him a new engine. He also went to great lengths to hide the fact he was using NOS when the engine blew.

Well apparently someone from that message board sent the service manager of the dealership all the messages he posted about his blown engine. (It wasn't me, I would never have the guts to do something like that).

Anyway GM denied his warranty and he ended up having to put in a rebuilt engine from a junkyard!

Ahhhhh sweet karma.

Whoami
Member

08-03-2001

Monday, November 21, 2005 - 11:11 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Whoami a private message Print Post    
That's a good one too! I almost named this thread "Justice is Served." But settled on Grand Exits. Either way, your story fits well!

I love Karma stories!

Kep421
Member

08-11-2001

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 3:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kep421 a private message Print Post    
Mine is a kind of Grand EggsIt (egg on my face an all that)....

Years ago I worked for a mortgage company and needed to call the VA about a Vendee Loan. When the lady answered the phone, I did my thing..."Hi, this is Kep from TLM Company and I need to speak to someone about VA Vendee Loan Number 123456". The person on the other side became very quiet... and hesitantly told me that she had no idea what I was talking about...then asked me to hold on. I found myself transfered to someone else, in another department. I repeated my greeting and was met with the exact same response....I was literally on the phone for 20 minutes....and was transfered to countless departments (and I said my complete greeting each time) before I became exasperated and demanded to speak with a supervisor.

When I reached the supervisor, I again said my opening speech and by this time I admit, my tone wasn't quite as pleasant when I started. The supervisor was calm and "handled" me well, but she too had no idea what I was talking about. I hotly asked to speak with her boss... and was immediately transfered. When he answered the phone, I began again..."This is KEP from TLM Company, and I've been trying to talk someone about VA Vend...." The manager immediately interrupted me and quietly asked "VA Vendee loan?" With relief I almost shouted YES!!! He said quietly... "Honey... this is HUD".

I responded with "Sir, and that is why you are the boss, Thank you" and hung up with crimson cheeks. It was quite the office joke for a bit...I still get a chuckle over that one...

Sillycalimomma
Member

11-13-2003

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 7:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sillycalimomma a private message Print Post    
well...I don't know if this quite counts...but it will give you a laugh I am sure.

A few years ago (in fact I believe I was even a fresh face around here when this happened, so I am sure some of you have heard this one) I had just dropped DD off at school (kindergarten I believe) and was on my way home. I was sitting at a light getting ready to turn left when I looked over to my right and who should be in the lane-no other then the girl I had been friends with since the 7th grade who had just months prior decided to betray me and pull a Monica Lewinsky with my (nowEX) DH.
She looked over and saw me and of course freaked out. We had not seen each other in person since I had found out what she had done and I am sure she had ideas of what I would have liked to do to her. Without much though she obviously just wanted to get out of the situation and she hit the gas............slamming right into the car in front of her! If my memory serves me well I believe she had hit a BMW too...or a Lexus. Something like that.
I couldn't help but laugh my way all the way home....you know the saying-Karma is such a......

Finqwik
Member

09-23-2000

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 9:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Finqwik a private message Print Post    
Kep421 what is HUD??

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 9:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
housing and urban development.

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 9:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
at the golf course where i used to work, one of the gals from the main office came to golf with her husband. she thought she was all that and above our lowly positions. her dh had been an employee himself at the golf course only a year or so before i started. he got fired for shooting a 12-gauge from a golf cart; i guess he was squirrel hunting or something, but it irritated the hell out of people to be just set to drive and have this shot resound. even though he was an idiot, he thought he was all that, too. so he and wifey came into the pro-shop and loftily told me they were playing comped golf with a cart. i gave them the key to the cart and asked the gal to sign a cart tag and she got all huffy and told me she didn't have to, blah blah. there were other people in the pro shop and i was pretty embarrassed to be treated like a dweeb from the princess.
princess and frog went out to the row of golf carts and got into one of them. the guy turned on the key and both looked back over their shoulders when he went to back out. he floored it to show off and hadn't put it in reverse. the cart flew over some railroad ties, through the rose bushes and smacked nose first into our flag pole, where it sat hubcap deep in the lawn. you could not even pretend you hadn't noticed it. the cart went 15 feet! i laughed so hard i started to wet my pants and i could hear people in the restaurant laughing, too. it was so funny to see both of them with their heads turned over their shoulders, expecting to move backward and the looks they had when they didn't go that way!

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 9:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Spitfire a private message Print Post    
LOL I'm loving this thread today. Great laughs!!!

Mybbusername
Member

08-22-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mybbusername a private message Print Post    
This isn't really an exit story...but it is loaded with Karma.

I went to Home Depot late one evening to buy 2 plants. It was Friday, and at that point I did not have an ATM card, so my cash was all I had to last through the weekend. As I got out of my van I put the cash into my pocket. I had exactly $51.00.

After wandering around the garden dept. for almost an hour, I went to check out...but no money!

I should mention that I was pretty poor at the time so $51.00 was a huge amount.

I ran back to my van to double check-no money. I walked all through the garden center...no money. Finally, I told the clerk I could not find the money and left the store.

When I got back to my van I noticed a shopping cart in the empty space next to my van. The were 2 cans of paint, a small bag and 4 of the exact plants that I was there to buy in the cart...but no one was around. I will admit that my first thought was to just grab 2 of the plants, and at least my night would not have been a total waste. But then I imagined some poor frazzeled Mom trying to juggle kids and carts...I decided to return the cart (and ALL FOUR)of the plants to the store until the owner could return.

I was almost to the store doors when a man approached me and said he thought I had his cart. I was embarrassed and quickly explained that I was not stealing it- rather returning it for him.

He said that made at least 2 honest people in the world. And went on to tell me that he had just found $51.00 in the parking lot, and had just turned it over to the store manager!!


I have since never even thought of doing something "wrong" that I have not thought of this, and done the right thing just to keep the karma flowing.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
Mybbuser..what a great story! and a great lesson!!

Spitfire
Member

07-18-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Spitfire a private message Print Post    
Another Karma story.

It was a winter day and the temp was hovering around freezing with wet snow/rain. I was driving at a reasonable speed and aware of my surroundings as I was scared to death because I hate freezing rain. So I'm on getting onto a 400 series highway (speed limit 100 km/h) and as I'm on the ramp I notice the traffic on the highway is light but crawling. I check my mirror and notice that I have a angry driver riding my bumper with his hands in the air yelling at me. Of course I'm saying to myself "buddy I'm not going any faster so relax." Because I'm aware of my surroundings it's obvious that the highway is icy and I should proceed to merge with caution. Buddy behind me is ticking me off and making me nervous so I'm keeping my eyes on him. This is when he decides he's had enough of me and cannot wait for me to merge any longer. The next thing I see is him accelerate and end up crossing three lanes of the highway and into the ditch.

Now I don't mean harm to anyone, but I was actually grinning because I felt like he deserved what he got.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
ITA
Ok, it was hard for me to think of one on the spot, but I know there have been many.

I loathe tailgaters and one day while driving home, doing the speed limit through a residential area and a no passing zone, a kid I went to school with at the time was riding my bumper and getting all mad because I wouldn't move. This wasn't a kid I particularly cared for and I wasn't going to speed for him. His lack of planning wasn't my emergency. Sure enough, he had finally had it and preceeded to pass me, and screeched his tires as he did.

Right out of the blue a cop pulled off of a side street and pulled him over. He got a ticket for speeding in a residential area, exhibition of speed, and passing over double yellow lines. Hefty fine.

He was even to embarrassed to talk about it at school.. hee hee.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Twiggyish a private message Print Post    
One time on vacation, we camped outside a really quaint little town in Arkansas. We had a nice day shopping and sight-seeing in the town. We were walking back to our car when my husband spotted a shortcut down a very heavily treed road. We started down the road, which appeared to be taking us down the hill and in the right direction. We got all the way there and saw a house at the end. Our road was someone's long driveway!! Thankfully, there was no one home. I remember making that comment, too!! As we were walking back up the driveway and turning the corner..a car turned in from the road..LOL Boy, did we start walking fast. I started laughing. The people sure gave us a dirty look!! We made it back up and out of there in a hurry.

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
ahh, twigs, that reminds me of when i was a little kid. we had gone to tahoe for a week. we were driving home on the 4th of july and traffic was a bear. so my dad got off the main highway to find us someplace to eat and use a restroom. he then decided to see if he could take any frontage roads and avoid the heavy traffic on the highway. after wandering through small residential streets, he decided to find a more main street to get us back to the highway...turning down a lane and seeing a busy intersection down the way, he was happy to find out we weren't lost and would actually be able to get back to the highway. we got to the street and made a right turn and we were in the middle of a huge 4th of july parade, between a high school marching band and a fire truck. the announcer kept screeching through his megaphone, "will the green car please get out of the parade!"
well, we had at least 5 or 6 of the 7 of us at the time and my mom told us to all just wave and smile as we drove the entire parade route. there was no place to get out of the parade! the announcer just gave up on us or, after a few blocks, we just couldn't hear him anymore. people were waving back and asking us what we were supposed to be! LOL
________________________________
and we lived at the top of a hill where the road was our driveway and we had people come up and have to turn around all the time. we just got used to it...but years later, i really wanted to go see my old house (it was on the market for 6 million dollars at the time!!) and i was afraid to go up and embarrass myself. so i'll bet most people probably were embarrassed to end up at a private residence all those years when i was a kid and lived there!

Tabbyking
Member

03-11-2002

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tabbyking a private message Print Post    
escapee, a friend was tailgating a man and he got very irate and pulled his car sideways in front of her. then he got out and came to her window. he started yelling, "are you a hemmorhoid?! are you a hemmorhoid?!" and she said, "what???" and he said, "cause if you're not, GET OFF MY ASS!!!"

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 2:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Escapee a private message Print Post    
I want to get a bumber sticker that says:

Stop Tailgating!
Your lack of planning is not my emergency!

I also want the one that says "I'm not fu**ing stupid, but I used to." hee hee.