Author |
Message |
Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 12:49 pm
This could almost go in the News&Views area... Anyways, I heard about the 11 yr. old boy scout that was lost and then found. He had been hiding from the rescuers because he was afraid he was going to be kidnapped. Do you think telling kids to stay away from strangers is really a good idea after all?
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:34 pm
Yes
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:35 pm
yep sure do.
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:42 pm
absolutely
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:44 pm
Yes. You just don't end the discussion there. Like with any major discussion, the first statement is really just a way of starting the discussion not finishing it.
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:56 pm
I always taught my son when he was little to look for the gun then he knew he was talking to a policeman. I was always afraid that he would go willingly with any rentacop in a store. I told him go nowhwere with a security guard.
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Sillycalimomma
Member
11-13-2003
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 1:58 pm
I agree. This boy was lost and scared and dehydrated. He was confused. I think it is important to stress the dangers of strangers with your children, but you can't just leave it at that. You need to discuss with them how in certain situation a stranger could save your life, such as in this boys case. For example when you are in an emergency situation or lost a stranger that could help you could be a mom with her kids, or someone who looks like your grandmother....while you may want to stay away from a man who is all alone. Not trying to stereotype here. Just giving an example.
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Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:06 pm
I was just thinking, this may be something search and rescue personnel can analyze and may adapt their methods.
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:11 pm
I would certainly think that search and rescue people would travel in pairs. I think children would be more frightened of one person than of two people telling them everything was ok, plus wouldnt they have walkie talkies so the child could communicate with a parent. Really, I am sure all it took was a minute or two to reassure the child.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:13 pm
Yep and by explaining that just because a stranger looks normal, elderly, etc doesn't mean they are good, and just because someone is covered in tattoos doesn't mean they are bad, strangers are strangers, anyone we don't know. We have always taught them if they were lost and needed help to look for someone who worked there (ideally someone at a register,) cops/fire fighters, or mom/family with children. And yep, the conversation doesn't stop there, thats just a jumping off point to things like no adult should ask a child for help ever, not to go near cars you don't know, play with dogs you don't know, never go anywhere without permission, or with someone they don't have permission to go with.
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Yankee_in_ca
Member
08-01-2000
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:17 pm
I heard he was afraid of the horses, but I haven't been following it all that closely. This is an interesting topic. Sometimes kids can also get confused about the term "stranger." Once when I was in kindergarten, I was expecting my mom to pick me up from school, but one of her friends (mother of one of my classmates) came instead. I would NOT get in the car with the woman, because even though I knew her, I was always told never to get in a car with a "stranger." Because I wasn't expecting her, I for some reason considered it a stranger situation. I started to walk home. The poor woman drove her car alongside me the entire time as I walked home to make sure I got home safely (it was a neighborhood--no highways or anything).
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:18 pm
Years ago when my son was in Fifth grade I sent him to a math tutor a few blocks from our house. He went by himself at 8:30 in the morning. One morning a car pulls up along side him and the guy asks him if he would like baseball tickets and shows him the tickets. My son immediately said no and the guy then said, its ok, I will call your dad and ask him permission to give them to you, just write his number down and he held a pen out for my son. My son immediately started running in the opposite direction of where the car was facing and he came back home. So you never know what lure someone is going to give a kid. There is no doubt in my mind that if my son hadnt been prepared for the situation, I might not even know where he was today.
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Brenda1966
Member
07-03-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:45 pm
That is SO scary Maris! This 11 year old boy's story certainly gives us parents a lot to think about in what we teach our kids. It seems to me he should be old enough to know he was in danger and needed to get help from whoever he could. I guess we can't ever assume our kids know something unless we teach it to them.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 2:49 pm
Ah, I pick my neighbors girl up from school and take her. Once in awhile her dad is off and picks up and drops off my kids. It's an established pattern with us since we don't have busses anymore. However, last year when we did, the standing rule was that even though the kids (theirs and mine) knew we'd sometimes pick them up or drop them off, they were never to go with me or him unless told by their parents beforehand. There were a couple days we had problems, like the neighbor girls being told I'd pick them up and then one of them forgetting and getting on the bus. I am on the neighbor girls emergency cards at school, as their parents are on my kids, and we did pick the kids up frequently, but it was important to us that the kids learn it was never OK to get in a car with any adult unless they had permission from their parents.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 3:16 pm
Maris, actually the guy who found him was someone who was just looking for him on his own. If the guy had been with someone else and was talking, maybe the boy would have heard them and ran... Who knows. It is a tricky thing cuz if the kid hid from the "stranger" he would still not be found.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 3:41 pm
I am going to share my stranger story that happened to me when I was 3. My sister played T ball and during her T ball games (she was six) I would go and play in the sand pile near the bleachers. My mom could see me the entire time, and it was better than me sqirming and jumping around on the bleachers. My grandmother also frequently attended the games, and happened to be there with my aunt and uncle that day. It was getting close to the end of the game, and my mom called me to come on, and I said I wanted to go with Gramma, so she said alright, told my grandmother that I was going with her, got my sister yelled goodbye to me, and left the game. Gramma lingered at the park for a while, talking with some people, and when I swa her heading toward the parking lot I got up from the sand pile and began heading that way too. I was kind of a ways away from them, and as my grandmother reached her car and got in, I saw my mom's car pull out of the parking lot. With this I began to run toward the car, but I wasn't fast enough, because Gramma backed up her car and preceeded to drive away as I reached the bumper of the car. As she accelerated, I was banging on the back of the car yelling, but she didn't hear me. She drove off, forgeting me at the baseball park. And now, it was begining to get dark. I was hysterically crying and I ran back toward the bleachers, but no one was there. It seemed as though I was all alone. I was scared. I remember while I was running back I wet my pants, too. I was absolutely beside myself. Just then I saw this man and this woman coming out of the announcers booth. They saw me at the same time, and looked around to see if I had a parent with me. The woman walked over to me and asked where my mommy was. I told her that she left me there and that I was supposed to be with my gramma but she left me too. The lady, then picked me up and gave me a big hug, wet pants and all. She told me not to cry, that she was going to help me. I said, "I am not supposed to talk to strangers." She said, sometimes, for your own good, you have to. I understood that, even at three. She walked over to the snackbar, which was closed up, opened it with a key, and gave me some candy. The man then walked over to me and asked what my mommys name was. But all I could say was Mommy. Then he asked what my gramma's name was, and i said "gramma". They were at a loss, but then I said, I know my gramma's phone number. Shocked they walked me over to a payphone and let me dial the number. Gramma answered and the lady said "do you have a grandaughter named...." and before she could finish my Gramma said OMG I forgot her at the game!!!! I guess then, she called my mom, because we lived closer to the park, and asked her to come get me, my mother was furious, as you can imagine. She came and got me, thanked the woman for finding me. I remember that Gramma felt so bad that she bought me a new babrie that next day. After that, though, I had terrible seperation anxiety, I wouldn't go to sunday school for fear I'd be left, I wouldn't really go anywhere with Gramma for a while.... At the end of the season, at the award ceremony for the T ball players, the man and women were recognized for rescuing me, per say, and given medals of honor from the parks and recreation department. My point: I knew not to talk to strangers, even at three, but I also knew that I had to talk to these people if I wanted to ever see my mom again. Kids are smart.
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 9:36 pm
My kids and I always had a secret word/phrase. If for some reason I could not pick them up, the person picking them up had to tell them the secret word/phrase before they would go with them. That also would have worked in this case because the parents could have told the rescuers the secret/word phrase to yell to the boy.
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 3:24 am
The little boy and his family did have a secret code word. I don't know if they thought to tell it to the searchers.
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 5:18 am
The strange thing is the child was 11, it should be old enough to realize and discern when to seek help. I think his behavior seems a bit immature.
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 6:13 am
His parents have said he is immature for his age. Of their five children, they had worried that he was the one least able to handle such a situation.
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 7:46 am
The parents said EVERYONE now knows their code word, so they will have to change it. They did give it to all the rescuers, but since the boy hid every time he saw one, they didn't have an opportunity to use it. Also, the little boy was born prematurely and is emotionallly and developmentally delayed. So while he is physically 11, emotionally he is a few years younger, according to his parents.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 8:28 am
My point in asking the question is what can you do for kids like him and younger kids who might be too afraid of strangers. How can you get your kids to know when they should rely on strangers for help. I think there are way more good strangers than bad out there... Seriously, this kid may well have died so easily--and it would be a direct or at least indirect result of him being afraid of strangers/being kidnapped.
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 9:12 am
You talk about what you do when you're lost, versus what you do when you are not lost and a stranger approaches you. There is a difference between you going and asking for help when you are in a bad way; and someone approaching you with either offers of candy or goodies, or even asking for help (directions, find my dog, etc). It's an important distinction to be made. It is a tough world out there and as gently but as firmly as possible our children today need to understand that.
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 9:17 am
It's true, even I know their codeword now, lol. It's BYU! I'm assuming they'll come up with a new word, since they announced it on the Today Show. There was a guest on Today who told some of the things he teaches children who will be doing wilderness activities. He had a whole array of things they could carry, most of which the interviewer and I thought were not practical for this age group. There was so much, a child would need to be carrying around a heavy backpack at all times, and it included matches! The best piece of advice he gave was to have each child wear a whistle around their neck which they could blow in case they were in any danger. He also teaches the "hug a tree" method, where a young child is told to actually hug a tree until he is found, rather than wandering further. He said children also need to be taught that there are times when you NEED to talk to a stranger. This was in an area near where Elizabeth Smart had been taken and where a child has been missing since last year. If this boy knew about these two cases, which is likely, that would certainly add to his fear of strangers.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 9:19 am
The whistle is a very good idea! The matches is not.
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Deesandy
Member
08-12-2003
| Monday, August 29, 2005 - 8:31 pm
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