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Potty Training

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2005 Jun. ~ Aug.: Parneting Place ARCHIVES: Potty Training users admin

Author Message
Serenity
Member

06-28-2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I need some ideas. My DS 3 is not toilet trained yet. He is driving me crazy! We have some good days and some bad days. He knows all about going to the toilet, what comes out, and what all of the terminology is. He is fully capable of telling me when he has to go - he just chooses not to. Some days he will, but never with any consistency.

We have tried sticker charts, and rewarding him with jelly beans. We took him to Walmart and he picked out his own special "big boy" underwear. We told him if he pooped in them that they would have to go in the garbage. He did mess them and cried that he had to throw them away, but did the exact same thing the next day. Each time he does use the toilet we make a huge deal of it with high-fives and hugs, etc. so that he knows how proud of him we are.

Lately he comes up to me when he messes and says that he has just gone "half" in his underwear. He means that he pooped in his underwear and saved his pee for the toilet. AARGH! I know he knows when he is having a bowel movement.

He also has pull-ups but I find that he doesn't care if he wets them or not. Mainly I just use those when it is bedtime. He goes to daycare and has pull-ups on at naptime too. They have mini-toilets right in his room and no other kids seem to be having as much trouble with wetting themselves as much as my son does.

Does anyone else have problems/resolutions with toilet training their kids? Any advice is appreciated. Sorry this is long, but I am sick of doing all the extra laundry .

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I say, give it up. Why stress yourself. A three year old boy is not too old to not be 100% toilet trained. I wouldn't push him or upset him. Like many have said before, they'll be toilet trained by kindergarten....

Keep him in diapers/pull-ups to avoid all the laundry. My son took a while too-wasn't 100% toilet trained til he was near 4. It didn't bother me.

Seems you have already tried all the "tricks" so make it easy on yourself and him and just do pullups for a few months and don't even push/encourage him for a while...

Good Luck!

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I agree with Julie, it sounds to me like he is not yet biologically ready to handle this. Boys do mature less quickly in girls, and this isn't unusual at all. I'd back off for a month or so; continue encouraging him to pee in the laundry and keep him in pullups for now. All you're doing is making yourself and your child crazy; and you both deserve a little more sanity and a lot less stress! :-)

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:40 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
FWIW, I agree with Julie and Karuuna. One day the guy is just going to wake up and decide that it's time to use the bathroom! So don't stress over it (although, I understand why you want him to use it!).

Plus I think sometimes they enjoy the attention. If you back off, he may decide to do it himself.

Serenity
Member

06-28-2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
It just seems that he is soooo close to being trained. He was the one who did away with the little trainer potty that we had because he wanted to start using the bigger toilet. I guess I just lucked out with my other son who was trained by 2 1/2.

It would be nice to just give it a break for a while, but I don't want to reverse how far he's come already. I'm scared he'll see my backing off as disinterest and he'll think that going in the toilet is not as important anymore.

Sigh...I wish there was a sure-fire way. I heard DR.Phil boast on TV he could toilet train a kid in a couple of days. What a farce! I about laughed my butt off. Wonder if he'd want to come to my house....?

Jasper
Member

09-14-2000

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I thought I would check this thread out as I know someone in the same predicament. I have no advice but got the biggest laugh over Karuuna's typo:

quote:

continue encouraging him to pee in the laundry




I just wanted to say thanks

Serenity
Member

06-28-2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
By the way... Thanks for all of your replies!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We are currently having the same problem with DD.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 10:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
hahaha, cute Jasper. Sometimes I type too fast for my own good, thanks for the laugh!

I'm pretty sure Dr. Phil only advocates the "couple of days" training when a child is really ready. Doesn't work if they aren't.

Kaykay
Member

01-21-2004

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Serenity, I'm am in the same predictament with my 3yr old son and I follow the same advice - my little guy just isn't ready. HAve no fear - he won't go to college in pull ups :-)

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Can you ease up simply by only using the pullups? Still heap encouragement on him when he does use the toilet, but swapping the pullups is a heck of a lot easier than the underwear! Our son was 3 1/2 before he finally decided to do it completely. I was lucky -- he pooped once and it went down his pants into his shoe. Since he hated the feeling, he never did THAT again (and I laughed hysterically!). W/ my son, the pullups didn't work, simply because he didn't want to take the time and they felt dry. Since then, though, they've made better pullups that "feel" wet. We finally just put regular underwear on him and since he didn't like the wet feeling, it worked. If a child doesn't mind that feeling, it won't.

Good luck! I know how frustrating it is!!

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Sure doesn't if they aren't ready. My brother went through this with his oldest son who was about four when he was fully potty trained. They finally just backed off for awhile and when he was ready that was it. For him, part of his problem was he was scared of sitting on the potty. He had no problem peeing because he could stand up but trying to get him to sit became a huge fight. He'd cry and scream and they'd get frustrated and try to demonstrate how you could sit down and stand up and flush and nothing bad would happen. The poor kid was terrified for about six months over it. I really don't think we ever figured out why that all of a sudden changed either, but one day he went in to go potty and from then on he was fully potty trained.

Sillycalimomma
Member

11-13-2003

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:22 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I agree with what others have said.

Try not to stress on it and his age and him reaching "milestones" at certain times and such. Take his personality into account for sure.

I remember when we were trying to potty train DD we were having a terrible time with it. Then I realized that it was probably because she didn't feel as though she was the one who had complete control and it was her idea. Thats just how she is-a "It's my way" kinda gal. So we eased up and within a few months DD was strutting off to the potty all by herself.

I wish I had a scanner so badly because one of my favorite pictures is off DD during that time sitting on the toilet with a mirror in her hand. She was looking in the mirror and what the picture fails to capture is her saying to herself "you can do this" "your a big girl now" but my memory holds it, and I get a giggle still everytime I see that picture!

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kids are so funny. Like I said, one morning he may get up and say, "Mom, I want to use the toilet from now on" and that will be the end of your problem.

Sometimes the more you want them to do something, the less likely they are to do it.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 11:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I have blocked potty training out of my mind. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Serenity
Member

06-28-2005

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 12:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Thank you for all of your wonderful replies. It is nice to know that he is probably just not ready to go 100% yet and that I am not CRAZY. He is the sort of kid who likes to feel in control -so I will just lay off a bit and stick to the pull ups that allow you to feel wet. Maybe he will ask to get the underwear back (with any luck!). I am sure I will block this training experience out of my mind too...it almost seems similar to the pain of childbirth...LOL. I'm crossing my fingers he'll be ready by the time he turns 4 . It'll be nice not having to bring a bag of extra clothes, pull-ups, etc. with me everywhere I go. LOL

Teach - your story had me LOL. I wouldn't mind washing out a sneaker if it meant an end to potty training.

Lumbele
Member

07-12-2002

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 2:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Serenity, the best parental advice I ever got was: "Remember, when he is a teenager he won't be doing this anymore!" It may sound weird, but every time I was about to go into a power struggle over something like potty training I repeated that mantra, and it all didn't seem nearly as "urgent". Don't sweat the small stuff! He'll do when *he* is ready.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 2:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
It's especially hard if you little ones are in daycare all day. Daycare providers don't have as much time to spend one on one with a child as you might at home. It may be that other kids at daycare are wearing pull ups and prefer to go in their pants because they are too busy playing with other kids to use the toilet.

My brother was potty trained the day before his third birthday. My mom told him that he couldn't have his third birthday if he was still wearing diapers. He said "fine" and that was that. Sometimes gentle persuasion helps. We told DD that she couldn't ride her horse (real horse) if she was wearing a diaper. Now everytime we go to ride she runs to get her big girl panties. Any other time she is content to wet her pants. It's frustrating, but we'll get there.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 2:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Gotta disagree with you on that Escapee. My daycare providers/centers did great with the potty training which is why I blocked it out.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 2:59 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Depends on the size and the child/provider ratio, I am sure.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 4:07 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
With #1 he was with an in home daycare provider who had 6 kids, the law says you can't have more than 6 for in home. #2 was in a big daycare center. And both started potty training at 2, and that's all I remember.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 4:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I think that depends on the state how many kids you can have in a home. Anywho, I have been told, so it isn't in my experience, that in daycare it is a bit harder because of consistency. I am glad you had a good experience. We are still working on it. She showed interest at about sixteen months old, so we encouraged, but didn't push. She goes when she feels like it, but now it's time to move it along. She is over two.

Landi
Member

07-29-2002

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 4:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
my daughter wouldn't do it for me, but the minute she was in daycare (at 3) in a large daycare center, she did it for them. within one week she was totally potty trained, and that was that.

Reader234
Member

08-13-2000

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 5:05 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I worked in a daycare, and DS at 3 started there, was potty trained there, they were on a schedule, they wore pullups, they were changed regularly, but the community of them all doing it may have lessoned the stress for DS?? There were 3 teachers so I'm sure there were maybe 18 kids?? (6:1 ration sound right for 3's?? It became NAEYC accredited, and a great school!! Not that I was prejudiced or anything!!)

Good Luck Serenity, follow your instinct, each child is so very different, I did have to keep in mind he wouldnt graduate from High School wearing pull ups!! :-)

Ddr
Member

08-19-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 6:30 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I was fortunate to be a stay at home with my son. We started around 2 1/2 with the whole concept, getting him used to it but not being real diligent with it. Then a few months later, for two weeks we literally stayed home. Hubby worked out of town, so it was he and I and we had no outside distractions. LOL, I had the potty in front of the tv and him bottomless. He would sit on his potty and watch tv. No biggie. All this time he was comfortable, no pressure. After the two weeks, he was trained. For my son, it was all about consistency. I think giving him the two weeks purposefully staying home helped him.

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 8:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Did you give him the remote control Ddr? A toilet in front of a tv w/ a remote (and a beer) would be HEAVEN for most men! LOL

Ddr
Member

08-19-2001

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 - 8:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I know.

Serenity
Member

06-28-2005

Monday, August 22, 2005 - 12:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Just an update : We went camping this weekend, and DS stayed dry the whole time. He didn't poop in his pants once! I kept him in pull-ups and they stayed dry all day long.

DS even held it for 2 hours in the car until we came to a rest stop and then calmly asked to use the biffy. I was so proud.

I will keep with the plan of backing off and letting him decide when he is ready to use the toilet. It seems to be working (knock on wood).Who would have guessed it would be while we were out of our familiar surroundings?

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Monday, August 22, 2005 - 1:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
YAHOO! Do I see more camping in your future?? LOL

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 5:47 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Serenity, have to ask--I can tell that 'biffy' means bathroom, but I've never heard that expression before. Is that a Canadian term or some shorthand you use with your kids?

Oh, and congrats to your son! High Fives!!! 1

Serenity
Member

06-28-2005

Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 1:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Herckleperckle - Sorry I never answered your question sooner - I don't get navigating to all the threads all the time. Anyways, I have been saying "biffy" all my life, but usually only to refer to more rustic/non-flush/porta-potty type toilets. I never thought of it as a regional term, but maybe it is?! Just call me a silly Canadian, eh!

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Friday, August 26, 2005 - 2:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hahaha! Thanks, Serenity. Won't call you silly at all . . . have some pretty unique words ourselves around our house. [My dd invented this language when she was little (called 'Bunnatalk'--after her bunny) that we all still use to this day!]

(And I'm just checking back here myself--no problem. Same here on visiting some threads.)