TVCH FORUMS HOME . JOIN . FAN CLUBS . ABOUT US . CONTACT . CHAT  
Bomis   Quick Links   TOPICS . TREE-VIEW . SEARCH . HELP! . NEWS . PROFILE
Archive through April 13, 2005

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2005 Mar. ~ 2005 May: Parneting Room (ARCHIVES): Terrible Twos/Threes (and Twenty One Month Olds): Archive through April 13, 2005 users admin

Author Message
Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:38 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
OMG, Escapee, your daughter is soooooo beautiful!! And I am really enjoying this discussion. Escapee, I think you've got the basic now--she knows there is going to be a consequence to her behavior. A predictable consequence. I think you are on your way out of the 'bad word' period! (For now, anyway!) Yay!

Although I admit I used chocolate chips to potty train my son (much harder to train him than my daughter), in general, try to stay away from food as a reward. Just sets up a whole other things for some kids to have to deal with later. Instead, schedule an activity, like 'mommy will work a puzzle with you" or "watch a video" or "read a special story" or --what I used to do was to schedule "special play time."

Special play time was whatever each one of them wanted to do while the other was napping. With my Loupup, it was ALWAYS playing with her Fischer Price Doll House --and her weebles. Over and over!!! Aahhhhh! But that's what she wanted. And isn't that nice that she remembers that to this day, age 27?!!!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh I know that food rewards are not good. You never want to associate food with a good or bad consequence.

Happymom
Member

01-20-2003

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We've never used food as a reward either unless it was having a meal in a restaurant while having "special time" or in conjunction with some all day activity like going to the beach. Except for occasionally going go for ice cream when they were older. Sometimes the teachers will use it and it doesn't bother me so much if it is a party or picnic type of reward, but when it is just candy or donuts, it does bother me some.

I have to agree with you Herckle that my kids really love special time with one or both of us (parents) and that is always a wonderful reward. One of my fondest memories is going on a day trip with my mom. Just the two of us w/o my siblings or dad. That was the one and only time I ever remember being with just one parent while I was very young. Both parents did take me out for dinner once when I was 11, just the 3 of us and I sure felt special!

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh, and the other story I always tell, bear with me, now. It is a long one.

I was in college, majoring in elem education. I had to take a science and took biology. For one of our major grades, we had to come up with an experiment, run trials, and write a report.

I found out about this whole group of scientists who use worms in their experiments. They publish a magazine called The Worm Runners Digest. And they used T-mazes to conduct their experiments. (Shaped like a T, with dirt, inside.) Sounded easy and cheap, so that is what I decided to do.

My goal: Teach the worms to turn left.

How? I used a small paint brush to poke them if, at the end of the T maze, they attempted to turn right. (Negative reinforcement). And then they had to run the maze again until they turned left.

If they turned left, I returned them to their pod to rest and be with their other wormy friends.

I ran trial after trial for days, and I was successful in teaching them all to turn left!! The only problem--they were dying on me left and right. By the end I think I had 4 worms left out of 25.

Because I was an education major, I tried to use both the science and my major to reflect on what I learned. (I had to dissect them and talk about any changes in their internal organs, as well.)

One of the things I stated was that negative reinforcement was indeed, an effective teaching tool. But it killed all my students! That poking had been so damaging to their senses, that they just shut down.

So, that is my lesson to moms and dads when they sit down to consider how to frame consequences for their children.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Did you try positive reinforcement on the worms to see what that did? (not sure what a positive reinforcement to a worm would be though????)

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Escapee, She is a real cutie! And I LOL over your caption.

I know I find it hard not to laugh when my little girls say something bad. It just sounds so silly coming out of someone that looks so sweet.

It sure seems like you have a wonderful little girl there!


Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I dont know Herckleperkle, getting a two year old to shut down even for a minute is probably an appealing prospect................

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hahaha, Maris! I remember those days, indeed I do!

Well, Texannie, being returned to the pod was supposed to be the positive. But I think the negative was so extreme that it outweighed the positive.

Hippyt
Member

06-15-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 12:01 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kep,I have seen that clip from AFV. OMG,you are right it is truly HILARIOUS!

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 1:26 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I tried something else today when she swore and it seemed to work. Keep your fingers crossed....

She was trying to scoop up something and her shovel got stuck and she yelled Dammit Shovel!

And I calmy said Oh Darn Shovel.....

Then she repeated what I said.

We'll see how it goes.

Marysafan
Member

08-07-2000

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 2:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Escapee, I think you might be on to something there. Kids are great mimics!

My mother-in-law used to say "criminitly!" When things weren't going right. My girls picked up on that word and used it also. Then one day my daughter says to me..."Why are we so concerned with crime in Italy?" Now when we use it, it always brings a smile as we remember her.

When he very small, my brother used to follow around "Uncle Bert", who lived next door. One day he couldn't get the door to the playroom open and he spouted off, "Summabich!"

What did you say?, Mom asked.

My brother repeated the words, and then added..."That's what Uncle Bert says when he can't get the door open, and it works every time!"



Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 2:11 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
It amazes me how well little ones can cuss AND use it appropriately! One time my son was playing with a toy and got frustrated and threw down the toy and said 'dab it' (but we sure knew what he meant! LOL)
Escapee, sounds like a good plan!

Kep421
Member

08-11-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 2:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
First time I ever heard one of my children swear was an incident with my son. This was way back in the early 80's...my son was about 7 and was being ragged on about something by his sister who is about 3 years older... I was about to intervene with the argument, when I heard my son stomp out of the room and go into his (which was next to my room where I was folding laundry) slamming his door. The house was quiet for a moment then I heard the quietest of voices say from behind my son's door "b!tch". Needless to say I fell over laughing into my laundry basket...

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 2:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
DD Spouted of Suma bridge the other day after DH stubbed his toe.

Then the dog barked and my Niece asked what the hell is he barking about? We died laughing at that one while trying to tell her it wasn't a lady like thing to say. She was 5 at the time, so she knew not to say it again. But oh was it funny.

Or my other neice who got in trouble for saying "he sucks" when watching "Spirit",
After being reprimanded for it, we figured out she was saying "he's Stuck". Poor kid.

Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 3:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
My favorite story is something that happened to a friend of mine. He took his family to Disneyworld, there was the 2 year old girl, a six year old boy and an eight year old boy. Now The mother who is a very high strung type takes the six year old boy to the bathroom leaving my friend to stay with the two year old and the eight year old.

Little Mal sees some ducks swimming in a pond near a fountain in disneyworld and becomes so excited and she points her finger and screams over and over "Duck", except that it comes out sounding like the word starts with F. My friend thinks this is really funny because an elderly couple stops in their tracks and just stares him down for having a little girl with such a potty mouth. Well my friend cant stop laughing, and the little girl seeing this continues to scream Duck but it isnt duck, so he is laughing harder and then, I swear this is true, he was laughing so hard he literally peed on himself.

Now the eight year old sees that daddy has peed on himself and starts crying hysterically, so you have a hysterical child crying, a father on the ground laughing and a two year old who is the center of attention screaming duck.

The wife comes back with the six year old and sees husband on ground and 8 year old crying and she comes running over and she starts crying before she even asks what is wrong.

I still laugh hysterically when I hear him tell this story and the 8 year old is now a senior in college.

Twiggyish
Member

08-14-2000

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 3:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I've always explained things to my daughter. I knew that if she didn't understand why something was not allowed.. she'd never make the right decisions when I wasn't around. Here's one real discussion we had when she was little. I might have changed the words around a bit.


Pretend you have a little brother. That little brother doesn't know that standing in traffic is wrong. How do you explain to him that it is dangerous? Will he ignore you or will he listen? What if he doesn't listen? How do you get him to understand? We'd discuss this scenario from different angles. In reality, I was trying to show her my viewpoint with rules.

Escapee..your daughter is precious!!

Teachmichigan
Member

07-22-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 3:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Great story Maris!!

I remember when my DS was two and shocked me w/ his completely appropriate use of a swear word. He was in his car seat at the time and it had one of those arms that went across in front of him. Somebody pulled out in front of me, and I said under my breath, "Jerk." DS, behind me, slams his hands down on the bar and says, "Dammit!"

I did NOT laugh at the time (although the effort was so great I couldn't say anything to DS:-) ), but my mom and I roared about it later.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 4:10 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Twiggy, great idea!!!!

I am working on not reacting or not raising my voice with my kids. I tend to be a yeller, and I can watch them just zone out. I have been working on speaking in a lower tone when they are upset and it seems to be working well.

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 4:25 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh Texannie, I am a yeller too. I am also working on the self control. I don't want DD to grow up in a "yelling" house. I seem to be constantly catching myself going "HEY!!" STOP!" "GET DOWN"
NO

I am really working on it though. DH is too.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 4:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
What's interesting is I wasn't a yeller when they were younger, they have turned me into a yeller now that they are older! LOL
I am constantly reminding myself that yes, they are 11 and 15, but their behavior is that of a 4 year old so I need to react like I did when they were that age. It's working perfectly.....when I remember!
They are actually really good kids, but they are a preteen and teenager so they are insane! (as Bill Cosby put it! LOL)

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 - 4:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I need some potty training tips!

Maris
Member

03-28-2002

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 - 4:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
great book "Once upon a potty". I also kept telling myself, he will not be wearing diapers in kindergarten.

Danas15146
Member

03-31-2004

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 - 5:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I love once upon a potty! Of course now stuck in my brain is _ "yes I'm going to my potty potty"



Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 - 5:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
My biggest piece of advice is what Maris said, by kindergarten, she'll be out of diapers. In the meantime if she is interested fine, but don't feel pressured to get her trained by a certain time. I barely trained my son, he basically did it himself. And it was so much easier that way on both of us.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 - 6:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Escapee, not sure if it will help, but Nanny911 is advertising that next week's show has 4 or 5 potty mouth kids. Might be interesting to see what she offers. Showed her holding a roll of toilet paper. Not sure what that is about...