Author |
Message |
Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 5:06 pm
Hey, watch it! Don't be insulting the bovine population by comparing that woman to a cow! Cows are cute! I know I'd be pretty peeved at her too. I try very hard in cases like that to not give someone like that my energy. After all, its probably just the type of reaction she was hoping for. Probably made her feel powerful. So maybe we need to feel sorry for her. I mean, if the highlight of your day is to steal someone's parking spot....then I'd say someone's life is pretty pathetic!
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Mizinvanccouver
Member
02-22-2003
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 5:17 pm
Cute cow Whoami! You're right, I shouldn't group her with cows. How about with "Self-Centered People". hee hee Ya well I know if I stick up for myself (ie yell or say something) in such a situation I feel better than if I don't say anything at all. Otherwise all day I'd be thinking,"Why didn't you stick up for yourself and say something??" lol
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 5:23 pm
I would definitely be giving her "the look". Probably would have a few words for her. Perhaps turn my car to the left to block her and wave to her. But it is really dangerous to get into arguments with people in this type of situation. Some people are armed and dangerous. Of course, PMSing and starving sounds like armed and dangerous to me too.
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Mizinvanccouver
Member
02-22-2003
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 5:37 pm
lol Rosie...Totally! Well here in Canada I'm not quite as worried about talking back to someone who deserves it, guns are illegal here. (Not that there aren't any illegal guns I'm sure!! Or psycho's with knives!! lol)
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 5:38 pm
Or axe murderers?????? 
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 5:40 pm
You know what, though, It felt good to really give it to her. Isn't that horrible? I don't usually lose my cool, as I stated before, but every once in a while you just need to get it all out, but there was so many more things I wish I would have done. Hind sight is 20/20. I did have the "class" to not pursue it outside of my car, I just drove off cussin her left and right. My mom said that we should be careful for those who are angels among us, but she also said that she can't see an angel being that much of a b****.
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Llkoolaid
Member
08-01-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 3:38 am
I am griping at myself. Hilary is going on a ski trip today and instead of staying home and enjoying a day to myself, what do I do, volunteer to go and chaperone on the ground. I don't ski, but I also don't trust anyone else to be there for my child. YES I need my head examined. 2 hour drives each way just because my sick head won't allow me to stay home, just in case she may fall and I won't be there to catch her. Pffft, I will sit in the lodge all day watching kids that don't want to ski and just want the day off school to hang around and cause trouble. I am nuts.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 8:36 am
uh..if you don't ski, how are you going to catch her if she falls way up there on the mountain and you are sitting at the base???
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 9:47 am
Catch her when she slides to the bottom on her butt.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 10:05 am
Go tubing Ll.
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Schoolmarm
Member
02-18-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 12:14 pm
Ll....no, it's called being a "snow bunny" (not nuts!). Bring a book. The tobogan ride down the slope is not too bad when being pulled by a snow mobile. That was my favorite part of blowing my knee out on the bunny hill. Wish I had stayed the "snow Bunny" on that trip!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 1:31 pm
I've done that trip down too, Marm, but I was 13, stupid and jumping moguls on the diamond slopes!
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Llkoolaid
Member
08-01-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 5:46 pm
Well after all the moaning and dripping this morning I had the best day in a long time. The weather was perfect, the kids were extremely well behaved. I watched Hilary learn to ski and had a very relaxing day. It was the best.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Monday, February 14, 2005 - 5:47 pm
Yea!!!!!!!!!!
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Essence
Member
01-12-2002
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 8:30 am
I'm so upset today that I've been crying all morning. Someone has accused me of threatening and intimidating her here at work. It all started when I told her and a couple of other co-workers that they were being too loud around my desk. One person's comment (the one making the accusations) was "so what" and another person's comments was "it's Christmas time" to which they started laughing. Her complaint says that after I told them they were too loud that I looked this woman in the face and said "you look at me when I'm talking to you, you better be glad I'm talking to you and not taking this to a higher up." It doesn't state what was said to me. Her friends have backed up her complaint, and I was written up for it. I am currently being investigated for a new job and the investigator has the right to look in my personnel file. This complaint could ruin my chances for this new job. I went to my union rep about it and he talked to my manager to see about getting the reprimand pulled from my personnel file and just sitting on it in his office for the 60 days that it's in my file. At first he said he would do that (because he doesn't believe that I threatened this woman). But now, I found out this morning he will only pull it if I apologize to this woman. I don't feel like I have anything to apologize for, but it's the only way to have this thing pulled from my file. I have never been this upset at work before. I can't stand to look at this woman or the others who have lied on me.
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 8:47 am
((((((((Essence)))))))))
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Kaykay
Member
01-21-2004
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 8:56 am
{{{{{Essence}}}}}} - I have been in the SAME position - take it from me - just give her a an apology dripping with sarcasam and move on. If she gives you any lip or comes back at you, turn around and file a complaint about her. Be sickly sweet and it will make her crazy - you will look like the "happy" employee and hopefully she will make an a** out of herself 
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 9:11 am
((((E)))) Ok, send her a written apology with cc's to your supervisor. Then get her alone outside where no one can see you and handle your business. Do I need to come up there?
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Egbok
Member
07-13-2000
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 9:56 am
Essence, I'm so sorry to hear about your dilemma at your current job. I know that you are seeking to move on and I personally wouldn't want this written reprimand to hinder your future goals. I would recommend that you take a giant step back from your current feelings about this whole situation. Clear your mind so that you can think rationally and know in your heart that work situations come and they go, however this one is a potential problem source for your work record. For the sake of your future in trying to obtain that other job (and remember, we discussed all this in your huge truck while in Texas - the one that you drove over curbs with..lol!)...anyway, I want you to rethink this whole scenario and put it into perspective. Will this incident matter in 6 months? in a year? in 5 years? Essence, be the bigger person and apologize to the co-worker, sincerely apologize and mean it. Then move forward with your day, your work life. I know it will be a hard pill to swallow, however, you will only be helping yourself. I say that what comes around, goes around and this woman will one day face her action against you. Yes!, I know my thinking is not what others may suggest, however, I want you to step out of your box and see this situation for what it's worth in the long run. Also, I would like to add, that if you believe in prayer, please take some quiet time to ask for guidance as you prepare to apologize. Feel proud of yourself for wanting to correct an action taken against you. I'll add that as upset, hurt and angry as you are, you cannot control or change the other woman's behavior....you can only change yours. You know I only want to help and I think very highly of you. In just the amount of time we spent in the large SUV together and you spoke to us about your job, I was admiring your intelligence, wit and beauty. I keep thinking to myself, this gorgeous young lady is going to go far in life. I believe in you Essence. Eggie
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 10:01 am
Amen and amen! The Bible says that as far as it depends on you to be at peace with everyone.
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Juju2bigdog
Member
10-27-2000
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 10:57 am
{{Essence}} Wow, Egster, good post. You are right, of course. Very hard to do, but it is the course of action that will most likely reap the greatest future benefits.
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Max
Member
08-12-2000
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 11:04 am
What Eggie said, and definitely do it in writing with a cc to your supervisor. "Dear Co-worker, Please accept my apology for any statements I may have made that you felt were intimidating, rude, threatening, or uncalled for in any way. All the best, Essence" That's really all that you probably need to do. After you get the new job, if you see her in public again (outside of the workplace), feel free to give her a piece of your mind. Just make sure you have witnesses on your side present in case she decides to further distort the situation. (Maybe Mocha can come down there for the occasion.) /clipart{devil}

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Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 12:13 pm
Essence, I think Eggie is absolutely right. I had a similar situation at one time in my career. I was astounded at the accusation, and first cried and cried (in private) and then allowed my anger to overtake me--the injustice of lies can eat your guts out. BUT, I see the apology as a no-brainer. The apology should be simple, worded carefully--and should NOT reflect attitude or one-upsmanship. And I definitely would not put it in writing. (you never know how that might be used later.) Here's how I would handle it: I'd ask your boss if this scenario would be acceptable: Have the three of you meet at the end of the workday (15 minutes before you leave for the day) in a closed meeting room--where you can all sit on equal levels at a conference table. Let him know you would like to make the apology in his presence so there is no possibility of misinterpretation. Then, at this meeting, be sure to make eye contact as you speak, and have Ghandi (or the like) in your heart. I'd say something like, "Amy, although I remember things differently than you, I want you to know I sincerely apologize. It hurts me deeply to think that I have offended you--or anyone in my own office. That is not my style and I hope that you will see that as we continue to work together. And I hope that you will accept my apology."
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 12:41 pm
I disagree Hp. The reprimand is in writing in her file therefore the apology should also be in writing with a copy to the supervisor as proof. When working for the government always have something in writing to cover your own you know what. Always. I think what Max wrote is perfect.
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Essence
Member
01-12-2002
| Tuesday, February 15, 2005 - 1:07 pm
Thanks for all your input, I really appreciate it. I've been dealing with this situation since right before Christmas. Prayer is a wonderful thing! I just came out of a meeting with my manager. I was ready and willing to make the apology to her, but I had a few things I wanted to say to him first. I told him that I did not feel right giving her an apology for something I didn't do, but that I would do it. I told him how upset I was that she could falsely accuse me of something, get a few witnesses "friends" to back up her story and get away with it. It really hit me when I saw one of the witnesses as I was getting off the elevator and she was getting on... she couldn't even look at me. She saw it was me and looked down at the ground. To me that shows just how guilty she is. This is a woman who used to speak to me all the time. I told him that I felt my rights were taken away from me, and he was taking the last thing I had away from me by making me apologize. He listened to everything I had to say. He then said that after listening to me that he would not make me apologize. He said he does believe me, and he is going to have the reprimand removed from my file this afternoon. I can't begin to tell you how that makes me feel. Again, thank you all for your input. This has been a long day.
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