Author |
Message |
Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 5:26 pm
My DH's grandma is turning 80. Obviously she really won't realize anything about any gifts she might get. Any suggestions? I think I am looking for short term happy type gifts like hard candies or cigarettes, something that she would like and use. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 5:44 pm
How about a lap blanket? Some nice scented lotions? Does she watch tv? Maybe a movie? Is she aware enough to finish the cigarette and not burn anything? How is her swallowing? Could she choke on the candy?
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Ophiliasgrandma
Member
09-04-2001
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 6:02 pm
Music cds/tapes of whatever era you think might strike a memory chord.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 6:07 pm
My dear great grandma had a love for peppermint candies, and we found some "nostalgic" (?) Old fashioned wrapped! DH grandfather, we had framed a postcard that meant something to us - it was ice skaters ... every now and then his grandfather would comment on that picture... it made mil happy that we thought of that... (I picked that greeting card the artist was a special friend of hockey, and his grandfather grew up in Michigan, lots of pond skating... he seemed to enjoy just looking at it!) Everyone is different, there are no right or wrong, do something that brings you joy maybe?
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Pamplemousse
Member
09-28-2003
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 6:23 pm
is there anything she really likes? my mother (who died 5 years ago from alzheimer's) loved cats so we'd give her cat related items ...sweaters, sweat shirts, picture books etc.
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Danas15146
Member
03-31-2004
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 6:33 pm
A nice sweater or pair of pjs? Fruit Basket? Maybe a CD of music that she likes.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 6:36 pm
stripper?
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Draheid
Moderator
09-09-2001
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 8:24 pm
Here's something that might work: Sharper Image Talking Photo Album from Circuit City. Fill with photos of family and have them each record a 10 second message to go with the photo.
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Jmm
Member
08-16-2002
| Friday, September 17, 2004 - 11:09 pm
Julie, What about favorite foods? My great-grandmothers always said they had more whatnots than they needed and more clothes than they'd ever wear at their ages, so we would get them favorite foods. Those little cookies that they liked but seldom bought because they were more expensive, a small canned ham, shop around and find that special ice cream flavor that's hard to find.
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Vee
Member
02-23-2004
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 4:17 am
A selection of favorite teas with a homemade batch of her own favorite cookies made from her own recipe, if it's easy to find.
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 5:35 am
Julie, I would tend toward comfortable, warm, non-flammable clothing. Also, my GG was way into rose-scented lotions. Otherwise soft candies, like the peppermint patties, or cookies that are unlikely to cause her to choke.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 5:40 am
Thanks everyone! I do like the food/cookies idea. The talking picture thing is good too. It is very sad to see her like this. She does have a live in lady who watches her 24/7. Texannie, she would for sure burn the house down with a cigarette, so she is totally supervised and cigs and matches/lighters are well hidden. It's sad that they even have to lock the house from the inside where she can't unlock it w/out a key (which the live-in "wears") Personally I think she should have gone into a "home" of some sort about 4 years ago, but her 2 daughters are stubborn. They are lucky they found a live-in that they can sort of afford (something like $60/day). Before that, their lives were very rough. Even as it is now, it's rough on them as "granny" is so combative. Granny won't let the live in bathe or change her. Recently she doesn't even seem to use a toilet. Alzheimers is a mean disease. Annyways, got OT there. Thanks again for the suggestions!
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Vacanick
Member
07-12-2004
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 6:29 am
Julie, I like the idea of giving her a photo album full on pictures of family and friends. Or music from the years when she was a young woman. You never know what might strike a memory cord!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 7:23 am
I do like the music thing. Unfortunately, I think even the photo album wouldn't do much. Pictures (old ones only) used to do something to or for her. She does not talk much at all now. Everything is declining. She doesn't even really remember how to smoke. She needs to be old to ash her cigarette... She actually doesn't even get many cigs anymore. They use them as rewards from time to time. Really the only thing that she actually likes is hard candy. I do think the older music might be a good thing. When I was the weekend activity director at a nursing home, it was amazing how music worked. These old people who couldn't tell you if it was morning or evening, and would hardly ever speak would recite/sing entire songs when we'd play old-old-old songs for them. I don't know where they got the music from. Granny was born in 1924, so I wonder what music she'd have listened to in her youth.
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Jmm
Member
08-16-2002
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 8:17 am
Julie, Try these links for 1930's & 40's music. http://www.1940.co.uk/history/sound/sound.htm http://www.retroclectic.com/retro.html http://www.asseenontvmusic.com/tv32.html http://www.pastperfect.com/ http://www.americanmusicclassics.com/songalp.htm http://lp2cd.com/time/30s.htm These should at least give you an idea of what to look for when you go shopping.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 8:21 am
Thanks Jmm!!!!
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Ketchuplover
Member
08-30-2000
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 1:48 pm
hugs and kisses 
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Seamonkey
Member
09-07-2000
| Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 1:54 pm
Julie, may be too late, but you may have other gift opportunities.. I've read that a fishtank (and it can be a "fake" one even, or a video tank is something that catches attention and is actually good for alzheimers/dementia patients. Another thing, if she is near a window often.. my SIL got her mom one of those bird feeders that sticks to the outside of a window and the birds come right up to the window to feed..very entertaining.. her father keeps the feeder full and her mom really enjoys it. And the ideas above for favorite music are excellent.. I know a couple of years ago when i was up there, SIL's dad was playing old Japanese music which seemed to take her back to her youth, where she grew up learning Japanese before English. I agree.. one of the cruelest of diseases, for ALL concerned. I haven't read the details above either, but I bet if you recorded your son talking and laughing and giggling, that would also be a hit!
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Sunrvrose
Member
08-13-2001
| Sunday, September 19, 2004 - 2:20 am
Hi, Julie, I am a caregiver for an 81 year old woman who is early Alzheimers. No matter what we do, she doesn't remember, so any type of gift meant to bring long term pleasure or memory just doesn't do what we hope. As others above have said, pleasure is immediate, so gifts of food, fragrance, and warmth are good. My lovely little lady is sooooo appreciative when I prepare an especially nice meal, or make a nice dessert, or even sprinkle bath powder on her sheets, in the moment. An hour or a minute later, she has no memory that it ever happened. I figure, just go for what will make her have a concrete pleasant experience in the moment.
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Sia
Member
03-11-2002
| Sunday, September 19, 2004 - 12:33 pm
Julieboo, I think a hardcover very simple journal with wide-spaced lines would be good. If she's able to write still she could take short notes about her days--or if she doesn't write much any more, I think it would be nice if people who come to visit her would write short entries in her journal. I just believe that anything that would help her fix events more firmly in her mind would be helpful, especially since her own memory has been failing her. Simulated entry: "Today Julieboo visited me and brought the most wonderful chocolates." or: "Hi Grandma from Julieboo. Hope you enjoy the chocolates I brought. Sorry that (DH's name) couldn't come today, but he'll be by on Thursday." (That way she has a concrete reminder of upcoming events, which can be important for someone with Alzheimer's, and it might help reduce the number of questions she has about things she's forgotten.) When I was a teenager I helped my Dad and Mom take care of a elderly neighbor with Alzheimer's while his wife was in the hospital. He asked us repeatedly where she was, and we had to explain over and over; it was a little tiring sometimes.
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Citruscitygal
Member
08-07-2003
| Sunday, September 19, 2004 - 11:04 pm
When my grandmother was in the later stages of Alzheimer's I found that brightly colored things like suncatcher's (mini stained glass)
 hung where she could see it easily seemed to bring her pleasure. Each time it would catch her eye it was a new experience (due to lack of memory) and she would get excited about it. If you have any concerns about the safety of glass within her reach, a brightly colored children's mobile could substitute. Some mobiles also play music which she might enjoy. Having lived this, my heart goes out to you and your family. It is a difficult road.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, September 20, 2004 - 9:55 am
Thanks everyone!!! Those ideas are great. I really appreciate everyone's input!
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