Author |
Message |
Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, June 18, 2004 - 1:13 pm
~seen on a bumper sticker~ Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Saturday, June 19, 2004 - 6:33 am
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. --Unknown
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Sunday, June 20, 2004 - 9:18 am
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius. --Mozart
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Friday, June 25, 2004 - 1:37 pm
The butterfly is a flying flower, The flower a tethered butterfly. --Ecouchard Le Brun
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, June 25, 2004 - 2:36 pm
~Seen on a bumper sticker~ Work harder, millions on welfare depend on you.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, June 25, 2004 - 2:37 pm
~Seen on a bumper sticker~ Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, June 25, 2004 - 2:39 pm
~Seen on a bumper sticker~ I'm not F****ing stupid.... But I used too (my personal favorite)
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Saturday, June 26, 2004 - 8:45 am
Misfortune shows those who are not really friends. Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Eudemian Ethics
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Sunday, June 27, 2004 - 7:49 am
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. Ronald Reagan
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Monday, June 28, 2004 - 1:48 pm
~Fortune Cookie~ Don't worry about things that aren't bothering you any
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Monday, June 28, 2004 - 3:08 pm
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 4:15 pm
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. Andy Warhol-- 1928 - 1987
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Wednesday, June 30, 2004 - 8:20 am
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Thursday, July 01, 2004 - 7:27 am
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, July 01, 2004 - 9:42 pm
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall". Eleanor Roosevelt The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible. George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea ...visit people only once a year. Victor Borge Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain What would men be without women? Scarce, sir ... mighty scarce. Mark Twain My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. Les Dawson By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Jimmy Durante The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. Jilly Cooper I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. Zsa Zsa Gabor Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. Alex Levine Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. Spike Milligan What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. Henny Youngman Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up'. Joe Namath Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. Herbert Henry Asquith A woman drove me to drink .. and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her. W.C. Fields I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. W.C. Fields It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns We could certainly slow aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. Unknown Don't worry about avoiding temptation... As you grow older, it will avoid you. Unknown Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But ... everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. Unknown Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac. Unknown The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out. Unknown By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. Unknown It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. Unknown
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Saturday, July 03, 2004 - 3:01 pm
Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me. I always feel that I must be wrong. Oscar Wilde
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Sunday, July 04, 2004 - 8:59 am
You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead. -- John Mendoza
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Monday, July 05, 2004 - 6:53 am
Forbidden fruit creates many jams. Anon.
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Tuesday, July 06, 2004 - 4:37 pm
In politics stupidity is not a handicap. --Napoleon Bonaparte
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Wednesday, July 07, 2004 - 8:58 am
We women talk too much, nevertheless we only say half of what we know. --Nancy Astor
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Thursday, July 08, 2004 - 1:46 pm
The thing about living in a small town, is that even if you don't know what you are doing, someone else always does.
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Friday, July 09, 2004 - 4:44 pm
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net. --Bob Dole
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Cindori
Member
07-25-2003
| Tuesday, July 13, 2004 - 5:58 am
Not exactly funny, I guess, but one of my favorites. When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less. -Humpty Dumpty
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Cindori
Member
07-25-2003
| Wednesday, July 14, 2004 - 3:17 pm
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." ---Groucho Marx
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