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Archive through June 05, 2004

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions: 2004 May - July: Free Expressions (ARCHIVES): Funny Daily Quotes: Archive through June 05, 2004 users admin

Author Message
Lumbele
Member

07-12-2002

Saturday, May 29, 2004 - 4:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope (1903-2003)


Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 11:01 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
--Groucho Marx



Tishala
Member

08-01-2000

Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 3:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. --Oscar Wilde


Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 8:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and as sweet as love.
--Turkish proverb



Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 11:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Dave Barry

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 11:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Jim Carrey (in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

Lumbele
Member

07-12-2002

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 11:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Monday, May 31, 2004 - 4:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
--Sir Winston Churchill



Lumbele
Member

07-12-2002

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 10:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?
Jean Kerr(1923-2003)

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 12:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Too funny, Lum! :-)


You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
--Irish Proverb



Sanfranjoshfan
Member

09-17-2000

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 12:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"An erection does not count as 'personal growth'."
          ~Unknown wiseass

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 12:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Roflmao!!!

Wait...wait.....*ahem*.....um, what does that one mean, Josh?

Pcakes2
Member

08-29-2001

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 1:33 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz
380SL." Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-." Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, > but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush
(Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns


Sanfranjoshfan
Member

09-17-2000

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 2:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Rupertbear - "Wait...wait.....*ahem*.....um, what does that one mean, Josh?"

I think it mens that "personal growth" refers to expanding one's limits of personal experience, not one's....er.....uh...."reach"!

LOL:-)

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 2:17 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
ROFL....Josh...you sound like a...a...politician!

Sanfranjoshfan
Member

09-17-2000

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 3:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
A POLITICIAN? How dare you besmirch my name in such a way!

:-)

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 4:00 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LMAO!....ok...I mean you sound just like Dr. Phil....

Rache
Member

05-20-2004

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 4:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LMAO @ Pcakes.....those are some of the funniest ones I have ever heard.......


Keep em comin!



Rache
Member

05-20-2004

Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 4:51 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"If shorcuts were easy, then that would just be the way" ~Anonymous~

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Thursday, June 03, 2004 - 7:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
--Irish Blessing



Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Friday, June 04, 2004 - 1:14 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
--Stephen Braveheart

(hmmm, I think I like this guy! lol lol lol )

Rupertbear
Member

09-19-2003

Saturday, June 05, 2004 - 8:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
--Jane Sellman

Mamie316
Member

07-08-2003

Saturday, June 05, 2004 - 9:10 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered." - Woody Allen ( I just love him!)

Lumbele
Member

07-12-2002

Saturday, June 05, 2004 - 9:12 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980)

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Saturday, June 05, 2004 - 3:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"I think I have a disease called spontaneous disclosure. I need to tell everyone my life story instantaneously."

Killy Ripa