Author |
Message |
Wapland
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 8:04 pm
I wrote this after a VERY frustrating week of NO from the education system. Thanks for letting me vent. May 19, 2004 To Whom It May Concern: Today my son came fourth in the Spelling Bee. Like every other child, it was his first one so he was nervous. Like every other child, he spent weeks studying the words so he could do his very best. Like every other child, he was frustrated when he wasn’t able to spell a word and worried that he might miss the simplest of words. Like every other child, he really wanted to win the first place trophy. So what made this situation so special if he was like every other child? Well you see, two years ago, he was diagnosed with a developmental disability so he isn’t like every other child. His brain doesn’t work the same way everyone else’s does. By most people’s guess, he should not have been in a spelling bee. When I look back to try and figure out what got him here, the simplicity of the answer surprises me. My son had so many people in his life that said YES. A well educated Aunt who knew that YES he could be in a regular class with the right supports, so he could continue to learn and grow with his friends. He had a doctor and occupational therapist who believed that YES he would benefit from a laptop computer so that he could communicate in writing to the best of his ability. He had a wonderful classroom teacher and resource teacher that said YES every time he felt like he couldn’t and found a way to overcome classroom obstacles so he could be successful. He had an administrator who said YES and in doing so, stepped out from behind policy and procedures and made something happen just because it was the right thing to do. He also heard NO. Sad, but true. As a parent, you pick your battles. Someone once told me that a parent of a child with special needs was the best advocate for their children. They were right! Best because, we very quickly learn which battles are worth fighting, and which people will chose to say YES. Those people who want your child to be the best they can be and they find ways to make ideas, practises and policies work for the right reasons. We avoid many and keep the YES people close. In time we will forget the people who say NO. And like today only reflect on all the people who say YES. They are the people and institutions that will reap the benefits of communities where all people are considered equal, where all people are encouraged to be successful, and where the most vulnerable are allowed to dream and step outside the box. My son came fourth in the Spelling Bee. He misspelled whimsical. Generally it’s a word that conjures thoughts of freedom and magic. The ultimate freedom and magic?…..My son came fourth in the Spelling Bee because he said YES I CAN! Wappy
|
Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 8:25 pm
Yes, I am joining you in your joy, Wappy! Congratulations, Wappy's DS!! Congratulations, Wappy Sweetie! And I think most moms are their own kids' best advocates, disability or no.
|
Wapland
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 8:27 pm
Thanks Herkle........ditto absolutely. But man the education system sucks sometimes!!!!
|
Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 8:59 pm
Yup, been through it and, as a former teacher, been part of it. I'm pretty blunt and, in both roles, have always said what I thought, whether or not it was to my political advantage. (I have two kids: one ADD & LD son with a visible facial birth defect, and one particularly good-looking and bright daughter.) Sometimes what I did with the bureaucracy worked wonders, sometimes it set up barriers. But I kept on plugging on behalf of both my children, just like you, cuz no one else knew and valued my two children like I did. I found the yes people, too, and they turned out to be the smarter people. And smarter people found ways to address issues and help 'fix' supposedly 'unfixable' problems.
|
Wapland
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 9:05 pm
We have much in comman Herkle. I have three children as well. Second son has a psychiatric condition. So I have two fronts to battle sometimes. I am also a teacher, working for the same Board. That can prove difficult. Especially days like today, when I'm not sure, after sending my note to people who are in effect my superiours, I will have a job to go to on Tuesday. Thank goodness it is a long weekend.
|
Lkunkel
Member
10-29-2003
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 9:07 pm
Yea!!! for Wappy's DS. Give him a high-five from me. I remember my first school spelling bee. I was a kindergärtner and came in fourth; missed on "fanatical" (I opted for "phanaticle"). The principal was so impressed that while there were only prizes for the top three (two fifth graders and a sixth grader), he later gave me my own prize: permission to spend morning nap time in the library reading.
|
Wapland
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 9:11 pm
Lkunkel thanks...he is pretty awesome. Napping, gee wish that were a prize I could win! ;-)
|
Herckleperckle
Member
11-20-2003
| Thursday, May 20, 2004 - 9:36 pm
Wappy, you sent the above letter? And did you send it to Board members only? What did you want the Board members to say or do as a result of your letter? Are you hoping for a response? If you simply wanted to make a point that 'yes' people make this whole thing work, I think you did that. (It might have been good to add a line generically thanking those who had been on the yes team.) Or were you trying to make a point that the school or district was not doing its part in saying yes often enough to the disabled kids? If so, then more specific examples/suggestions might have been helpful. Sounds like you have the makings of a full-time advocate for the disabled to me!
|
Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 5:54 am
Thanks for sharing Wapland, that is wonderful... whimsical, gave me goosebumps. I (also a teacher) also have battled the system. My son is also amazing, and has 'special needs' and was also denied many things I couldnt prove (how about being in the advanced math program because they were "filled" yeah right!! My biggest battle I'm still fighting, its college, I just dont understand the game, I feel its a losing battle! YEt, because I am fighting, ds is also stepping it up a notch... that's whats important, leading him, showing him, so that he can take over!!
|
Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 6:40 am
I got goosebumps too!!!
|
Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 6:43 am
That's awesome Wappy! Congrats to you and your son!
|
Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 7:22 am
great letter Wappy!!! I wish all special needs kids could have parents like you and HP and Reader!
|
Faerygdds
Member
08-29-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 7:33 am
Nothing to add but... STOP MAKING ME BOO HOO AND CRY AT WORK!!!!!!!!!!! lol!
|
Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 8:16 am
{{{{{{{{{{{{WAPPY and FAMILY}}}}}}}}}}}}}
|
Wapland
Member
08-01-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 8:20 am
Thanks to all of you for your commments. Herkle, my letter was more of an ending for me. We have been "battling" a situation, and it became apparent that it was one to step away from. This letter allowed me to do that and move on. I sent it to admin. policy creators and enforcers, that had said no. I don't expect any change. They are digging their heels in. Hope it makes them think is all........but probably not and that's ok too. I feel better. Reader.....college, hmmmm, can't wait!!!!!!!!! (I think)
|
Moondance
Member
07-30-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 8:58 am
That was awesome Wappy! Congrats to your son
|
Zules
Member
08-21-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 10:44 am
What a wonderful letter Wappy, thanks for sharing it. Congratulations to your DS!
|
Wink
Member
10-06-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 2:58 pm
Wappy that letter is an inspiration. As a former teacher and mother of a handicapped son myself, I can totally relate to the obstacles you've faced and the battles you've won. My youngest son has cerebral palsy and we as a family have been blessed in our lives with many wonderful YES people and a few naysayers that we've long forgotten. Because of early intervention at the age of 6 months, many years of physical and occupational therapy, and so many "angels" along the way, my son is a 3rd year Mechanical Engineering student who has succeeded far, far beyond many early expectations. Thank you for sharing that fantastic letter and for speaking so eloquently for so many of us.
|
Wapland
Member
08-01-2000
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 3:35 pm
Thanks Wink. I am glad to hear your son is doing so well. It helps me to feel more hope about the future. Brett is one terrific kid,...its just the rest of the damn world that needs to get caught up already!
|
Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 3:39 pm
I think it is a great letter and it applies to all parents. Sometimes you are the only one in the corner fighting for your kid and when it works, the tears and frustration have been worth it. Too bad there arent more parents like you out there. Good for you Wapland.
|
Konamouse
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 7:56 pm
that is very inspirational. thanks so much for sharing. 'squeek'
|
Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, May 21, 2004 - 8:55 pm
Thanks for sharing Wappy. It gave me chills and a few tears too, I must say.
|