Author |
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 6:52 pm
The local radio show I listen to does a "Love Court" every Wednesday. If someone is facing an unresolved issue in a relationship, they each tell their side, and the listeners call in and vote on which person's view should be acted on. I thought it would be fun to share them here. Of course we can't vote for on behalf of these people, cause the Love Courts have already happened. But I thought it would be interesting to see how TVCH'ers votes compare. I have quite a few archived from their site, so if this thread gets any kind of action, I'll be able to do more than just every Wednesday for starters. I figured I'd use their Thanksgiving one first, even though its no longer on the site, but I remember it well...... Mark finally has the Friday after Thanksgiving off from work, and wants to drive him and the children to his parents house in the neighboring state. He hasn't seen his parents in three years, and feels this is the perfect time to reconnect, and for the kids to see their grandparents (and vice versa of course). They are getting on in years, and he doesn't want to miss this chance to spend a holiday with them. Jane has just started a new job, and will not be able to get that Friday off. She won't be able to drive out with Mark and the kids, and given her schedule, it isn't feasible for her to join them on the trip, or even later. But Jane doesn't want to spend Thanksgiving alone. Should Mark go ahead and spend Thanksgiving with his parents? Or should he and the kids stay home with Jane?
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Resortgirl
Member
09-23-2000
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:02 pm
Yikes! I don't have enough information... does Jane get along with her inlaws? It seems to me that if she did, she would be generous enough to let her husband take the kids to see their grandparents. We never know how long our parents will be around and it's important for them and the grandchildren to have that bond and special memories. I don't want to be mean to Jane, but I think she should let them go and spend the holiday with Marks parents. I think Mark will be indebted to her too... and she'll have a great Sunday night!
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:17 pm
Yes, Mark should go ahead and spend Thanksgiving with his parents. If Jane is hell bent on a Thanksgiving celebration, they can have a Thanksgiving lunch cooked by Jane, then Mark and the kids can drive/fly to see grandmother and grandfather.
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Abby7
Member
07-17-2002
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:22 pm
I think Mark should go, but only if Jane agrees. On the otherhand, I can't see Jane not agreeing. This is just one Thanksgiving having to be without her family...she needs to look at the big picture here. ( I keep thinking of those old Jane, Spot, and ? stories). Funny, even though different....I was in a similar situation last Thanksgiving. Dh had Thursday and Friday off (and last year...even the Wednesday before off). We thought of going up north to spend with family. However, plans changed for family. So at last minute we decided to stay home. We didn't have any other plans. We went out on Wednesday night...had a really nice dinner. On the way home, I started feeling sick. Anyway, when we got home there was a message on our voice mail. A friend found out we changed our plans for Thanksgiving (to visit family). He invited us to Thanksgiving dinner. I told dh to call back and say yes, he would be there...but I was not feeling well so may not be able to make it. DH refused to call back and say "yes". I couldn't understand it. I told him if I feel better I'll go, but if I'm sick I'd rather have you go without me. (heck I'd probably have to be in bed anyway). Dh just wouldn't listen to me....just said, "No, it wouldn't be right".
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:27 pm
I think Jane should be a big girl and tell her hubby and kids to have a wonderful time!
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:28 pm
well, that is likely to happen with me working weekends and the golf course only being closed on christmas day in the entire year! when i worked ambulance and e.r., my family went without me for 3-day weekend trips. i would have felt bad had they stayed home for me. i picked up extra hours, too. i just slept downstairs if i got home after dark! we didn't have the dog yet, and i was afraid to go upstairs if i came home and it was already dark if the guy hasn't seen his family for 3 years, sounds like there are other problems. but i would have him go and then do our own small family thanksgiving another time. (we cook turkeys 4 or 5 times a year because dh makes turkey soup and i make turkey enchiladas, and we have sandwiches for a couple of days, not to mention the big main meal!) the guy should go. or have his family come to his and jane's house where they could at least see 'jane' when she is off work.
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Tabbyking
Member
03-11-2002
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:29 pm
oh, and those of us who had to work always 'potlucked' at the hospital.
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Abby7
Member
07-17-2002
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:43 pm
I've never understood why there is such a problem, many times, during the holidays. One doesn't HAVE TO celebrate the holiday on the exact day!
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 7:51 pm
His wife comes first. They should arrange their schedules so that they can visit his parents the following month, around or on Christmas.
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Kady
Member
07-30-2000
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 10:02 pm
I think Mark should stay home. I have spent many holiday's alone and it is not fun. If Jane has expressed the feeling of not wanting to be alone then it could be a depressing time for her. A visit could be made at a later date or his parents could come visit them.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, April 02, 2004 - 10:10 pm
I think Mark should take the kids and see his parents. Who knows how many holidays he will ever be able to spend with them and he and Jane can always do it another day before or after. I for one would love the break of my dh taking the kids for that many days, holiday or not.
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Llkoolaid
Member
08-01-2001
| Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 6:29 am
I think that Jane should really let them go but if she wants to be with them, Mark should compromise and postpone the trip until Jane gets off work on Friday. He could have everything ready to go and they would arrive late.
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Kaili
Member
08-31-2000
| Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 9:11 am
I think Mark should go as well, and I think Jane should understand. I agree- she's a big girl. I've spent Thanksgivings alone before. It kinda sucks but it's not the end of the world and you han always celebrate on a different day. We hardly ever have Thanksgiving on Thursday (which is why I've spent it alone) so we do it on the weekend instead.
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Tagurit
Member
04-09-2003
| Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 9:20 am
I am of the feeling no one should spend a holiday alone. If friends of Jane know the family is leaving, maybe they'll invite her over. If not, I don't see why the family can't have a huge turkey meal at lunch on Thursday and then Mark and the kids head off to see the grandparents.
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Jan
Member
08-01-2000
| Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 10:27 am
I think Mark should stay home with Jane. I also think Mark and Jane should plan and book a FAMILY CHRISTMAS trip to HIS parents house for that same year.
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 10:30 am
I think Jane should suck it up and tell Mark to go enjoy his visit with his family. 3 years is too long.
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Lumbele
Member
07-12-2002
| Saturday, April 03, 2004 - 10:57 am
Mark and the kids should go. Celebrate Thanksgiving with Jane before or after, but let the man take this obviously rare chance to see his parents and the kids their grandparents.
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Monday, April 05, 2004 - 2:38 pm
According to TVCH voters, Mark should go. The local listeners also voted for Mark to go. One listener called in and invited Jane over to her house for Thanksgiving. I never heard if Jane accepted. New Love Court: Shawn has noticed his wife hasn't been acting like herself lately. He can tell something is wrong, but she hasn't volunteered any information. In desperation, he reads her journal, and finds out she owes a friend $1000.00, and this friend is pressuring her for payment ASAP. Shawn knows his wife doesn't have the money to pay back the friend. He can sell his snowmobile and give her the money to pay back the debt, but that would mean admitting he'd read her journal. What should Shawn do?
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Melfie1222
Member
07-29-2002
| Monday, April 05, 2004 - 7:16 pm
What we have here is a failure to communicate . And not a whole lot of trust on either part. Why didn't Shawn try and talk to her about what might be wrong, when she wouldn't bring it up on her own? And since it sounds like they aren't rolling in cash, why does she owe that much money to someone without her husband knowing about it? He should try and talk to her about it, and if it comes down to it admit that he read her journal.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Monday, April 05, 2004 - 8:13 pm
A real big failure to communicate. How can Shawn tell his wife that he didn't trust her enough so he read her private journal? He is going to have to find a way to talk to her without letting her know he already knows. What did she need the money for? They are going to have to talk...
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Monday, April 05, 2004 - 8:16 pm
So, she is keeping a secret from him (about the money); and he's not happy about that, I presume. However, he now is confused about whether he should keep a secret from her (he read her journal)? Sounds like it's time to get honest, all the way around....he needs to come clean about reading the journal. Otherwise, he lacks integrity for being upset about her secrecy. The only way to clear it all up is to tell the truth now; and then call a therapist, quick! 
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Faerygdds
Member
08-29-2000
| Tuesday, April 06, 2004 - 7:08 am
This is when you sit down with her and start off by saying, "I could tell something was really bothering you, and I didn't know how else to find out so I did something really BAD that came from a really good place. I know it was stupid, but I love you and I was concerned about you....." AND THEN you tell her you read the journal and you have a solution. And then he has to make sure that he says at the end, "Hopefully now we can sit down and talk these things through and not feel worried that the other person will be unduly upset because together we can work it out." But you know... I have the strangest feeling this is like that movie -- the one about the barrette and the hair... For some nagging feeling I feel like she borrowed the grand to get him his snowmobile (as a gift) and now he's willing to sacrifice it to give her the money... Either way - Boy do these two need communication lessons!
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Eliz87
Member
07-30-2001
| Tuesday, April 06, 2004 - 9:17 am
Wow...this is a toughie. Shawn shouldn't have been reading his wife's journal, but his wife shouldn't have been hiding the fact that she owes $1,000 to someone. I think that Shawn should go to his wife and 'fess up to what he did, making it clear that he did it ONLY because he could tell something was bothering her. And then they can take it from there.
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Whoami
Member
08-03-2001
| Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 3:35 am
For the record, the local radio listeners also thought Shawn should tell his wife he read the journal... New Love Court....(btw, I change the names from on the website, just in case...) Donald is a huge baseball fan. He and his brother share the passion, and grew up watching many a game together. Donald has won some tickets to the local game, third row, right behind the dugout. Donald's wife Sharon doesn't share the same passion for baseball, so Donald wants to take his brother to the game with him. Sharon, on the other hand, thinks Donald should take their son. As she puts it, this would be a chance to have that "first ball game" experience with his son that Donald has been looking forward to. However, the son is four years old, and Donald thinks their son would not yet have the attention span to sit through an entire game, he'd likely be up and down and all over the place, and bugging the people sitting around them. He contends the boy is too young yet to remember the "first game with his father" experience. Sharon of course, thinks that if their son gets too active, Donald can always leave the seats for a while and entertain their son at the playground located at the stadium. And even if their son doesn't remember the experience, Donald will. Should Donald take his son, or his brother?
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Goddessatlaw
Member
07-19-2002
| Thursday, April 15, 2004 - 5:56 am
Sounds like mommy needs a day off. Daddy should take his brother to the game and arrange to take his son to the children's zoo and museum another day so mommy can get some girl time in. Daddy's relationship with his son, particularly where baseball is involved, is his to direct, not mommy's.
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