Author |
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Cindori
Member
07-25-2003
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 7:41 am
I want to join!!! But . . . I'm not a SAHM. I work 45 hours a week, first shift. Dh works 40 hours a week second shift. We see each other on Saturday and Sunday. He has dd during the day, I have her at night. It's very . . . tiring. Can I join? I need something to do for myself before listening to Dora the Explorer tapes drives me nuts!
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 10:25 am
Cindori, i'm a work outside of the home mom! i say that because i think SAHMs are "work inside of the home" and i'm a "work outside of the home". it's really no different in the case of this club. the point is learning to take some ME time. or buying something just for ME. i know what you mean about Dora the Explorer. i thought if i heard Raffi sing "Baby Beluga" one more time i was gonna go jump in the ocean!
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Cindori
Member
07-25-2003
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 10:38 am
I understand completely, Landi! Well, I'm trying to take some "ME" time tonight. I think dd is staying with my mom for the evening, so I'll be able to read, sleep, and eat to my heart's content! I really think it's easier to deal with our schedules and such in the warmer months. There's so much more to do. In the winter I always feel so TIRED!
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 10:51 am
Tag, can you do a kid swap with one of the other wives whose husband works with yours? I'm betting some of them would love to have a couple hours a week to themselves as much as you would, and the kids would enjoy a play date with a friend. Or maybe mom could take your son? Or dad could be encouraged to take him out for a few hours a week so they have bonding time? There's nothing wrong with taking a couple hours a week for yourself to paint or do whatever you want. (Yeah, I know, the guilt is still there though.) Cindori, we did that for almost three years. It was the reason I came looking for people who enjoyed Big Brother on the net, LOL. Once I got off work, my afternoon and evenings were spent with a newborn and 3 year old and when they went to sleep, I was lonely for adult interaction. Anyone can join! Everyone, rather they are stay at home parents, working parents, single or married people with no children, needs to do something once in awhile for themselves. MOW works about 60 hours a week, and with the schedule he's on usually gets home, eats dinner, plays with the kids, and then falls asleep watching tv or surfing the web. He goes to play poker with his buddies once every 3 months or so. He's asked for golf clubs for Valentine's Day, and I am most likely going to get them for him. Maybe having them will give him a little encouragement to get out of the house for a little while and do something for himself.
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 11:03 am
Landi you forgot my personal favorite Dora quote, "Can you say backpack?" and then my sweet child screams loud enough for everyone in the neighborhood to hear her, "BACKPACK, BACKPACK!!!!!" LOL.
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Secretsmile
Member
08-19-2002
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 11:19 am
I am in the same "rut" as the rest of you here. I've stayed home with my children for over 21 years. I did in home daycare until 2 years ago and ran myself ragged keeping the kids' schedules going. Some of the things I've learned over the years I can share with you. Once a week I pamper myself, and it doesn't cost that much money, you all can do it. I give myself a pedicure, LOL, it doesn't sound like much but you can afford to do this and the feeling of doing something just for you is like winning a lottery. I bought myself a cheap wash basin and soak my feet then follow up with lotion and nail polish. The main thing was I refused to get up and 'care' for anyone. LOL, don't think they didn't try but they soon got the hint. Mom wasn't moving until her nails were dry. Try it ladies, it's so empowering to tell them to find their own shoes! I understand how easy it is to fall into the trap of not spending money on yourselves, or having the energy to go out even if you get the chance to do it. But having sexy feet is a real ego booster.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 11:25 am
Secret, my long hot bath at night is about the only "me" time that I can totally enjoy. I've bought a ton of candles and have them all around the bath, turn the jacuzzi on and sometimes have a little glass of wine, listen to some music and shut everyone else out!
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Hereiam
Member
03-29-2002
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 11:57 am
Oh Mamie that sounds like heaven! It is good to know that I'm not the only one going through this. I also would like some time with just DH and me when we are not too tired to enjoy it. Any one have ideas on finding sitters? We don't live near any family. We had a sitter for a short time but then he moved, and now we have to start the quest again.
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Not1worry
Member
07-30-2002
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 2:10 pm
I stay at home with my 2 kids and I also homeschool them. DH has been gone for almost 6 months, so they are ALWAYS with me. I love them, I love homeschooling, but sometimes if I hear "Mommmmm" one more time.... Our post has a ladies weekly Bible study that has activities for the kids. That has been such a lifesaver for me. I've met so many great ladies and my kids have other homeschoolers to hang out with. My only other time for me is to stay up late and read books. The last place we lived, DH used to give the kids breakfast and I would go run. When we moved, he had to go to work much earlier so I can't do that. It is nice as my kids get older, they do more things independently. I can take a little snooze or work on a project without being needed every 2 seconds. Today I dragged them through the mall because I wanted to shop and I was going to shop no matter how loud they sighed.
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Secretsmile
Member
08-19-2002
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 2:27 pm
Hereiam, Can you post a babysitter needed note at the church or local high school? Teenagers are always looking for ways to earn spending money.
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 3:00 pm
How about other mommy friends, Hereiam? One week all the kids come to your house for a couple hours, next week they go to someone else's house?
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Jmm
Member
08-16-2002
| Friday, February 06, 2004 - 8:31 pm
Hereiam, If I understand correctly, your kids are now in either preschool or school. I might suggest that you try to find a couple of hours a month to volunteer at your local high school. I guarantee they are always looking for help and it will give you a chance to get to know some of the "babysitting aged" kids in your area. You can also check with the teachers and other school workers and find out which kids are the most reliable.
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Hereiam
Member
03-29-2002
| Saturday, February 07, 2004 - 12:53 pm
You guys are GREAT! I knew you would have some ideas for me. Whatever problem you have TVCH is the place to come. I am going to check with the high school next week. Also, I just found out our local health club is doing some of those Red Cross baby sitter classes so I will check with them too. I do have a couple of friends I trade off with on occasion but a regular once a week type date with DH would be really, really nice. Thank you Secret, Wargod and Jmm! 
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Sunday, February 08, 2004 - 11:49 pm
This week, I am going out of my way to make the effort to claim some time for me. I'll be busy with the kids school Tue and Thurs (they're out tomorrow,) and I have my exterminator coming Wed while the kids are in school. But, this is the week that my sis is taking the kids Fri night and most of Sat. We still haven't decided if we're going to go out, or have a quiet night at home, but either way, I'm for it. Since MOW started working all these long, crazy hours, we haven't had much time together, so it will be nice to do something. Next week, I am planning on doing something that requires no money. I can go to the movies, or out to lunch with a friend or my sister, but I think if I keep "me" time to spending less money, I'll be more likely to keep it up. So maybe three days a month doing something that cost nothing, and then one day a month splurging and I shouldn't have too much guilt, lol. I'm thinking for my first outting I'll go window shopping at the outlet mall. I've heard there's a couple new stores, and one I'm very interested in (Scent something or other...they sell candles, oils, all kinds of smell pretty stuff which I am pretty much addicted to, LOL.) I love having subtle scents around the house. Anyone else making plans for "me" time?
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Secretsmile
Member
08-19-2002
| Tuesday, February 10, 2004 - 9:36 am
I have a tip from the firefighter wives club. Our husbands' work some nights each tour of duty. On the first night I always wash the sheets, that's the evening I do my eyebrows and shave my legs. I then have the luxury of sleeping on clean sheets all by myself. It's the highlight of my week. Maybe some of you whose husbands don't work nights can take that evening that they have boys night out to do the same. At least you get to go to sleep on fresh sheets for a few hours.
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 2:03 am
I went and bought Darren's Valentine's Day gift earlier this week, and got a huge deal on it. Over half off! And it's definitely something that will help him get some him time. I'm pretty excited about it. Anyways, feeling good about that, I went shopping for myself tonight! Over the past two months the kids have gotten alot of new clothes (having outgrown most of their old stuff.) They both have plenty of clothes now, but I got to looking around, and realized I hadn't bought myself any new clothes in over a year, lol, except for things like bras, panties, or socks! I got myself a pair of new jeans and a new sweater, plus a new pair of dressy shoes, and a pretty bra/panty set (not the everyday stuff.) That was fun!
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 11:37 am
Good for you! I bet it made you feel really good too!
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Jewels
Member
09-23-2000
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 4:21 pm
I made the decision to finally ask the girls across the street to babysit on Monday. This is the first time I have ever left my kids with anyone that wasn't a family member. I am nervous, but I trust these girls and they are really excited. I am only going to be about 5 minutes away and it is only for a couple hours. I am hoping that it all goes well and this summer I can have them help out a little more often. It will be a win-win for all of us, they will get some spending money and I will get a break! Maybe my hubby and I can even go out on a date! Yippee! This is a big step for me. I hope it goes well. 
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 4:25 pm
Yay Jewels! I am sure once you get over the initial nervousness, everything will be smooth sailing. I'm proud of you.
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Hereiam
Member
03-29-2002
| Friday, February 13, 2004 - 4:28 pm
Congratulations Jewels !!! I hope you have some fun during those couple hours and having sitters just across the street could work out very well. A girlfriend of mine is watching my guys Sunday morning so DH and I can go do something fun. Maybe brunch any other ideas out there? I am so excited!!! Also way to go Wargod - I bet you feel great and it must feel like a whole new wardrobe. Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentines Day 
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Sunday, February 15, 2004 - 2:04 am
Jewels that is great news! The nice thing about neighbor kids baby sitting for you is that if for some reason they can't get ahold of you, their parents are right there if they need something. Hereiam, how about going to a movie? before we had kids we always went to the movies, saw everything as it came out. These days, the only movies we get to see in theaters are kids movies, so going to see an adult movie is such a treat, lol. We dropped the kids off at my sisters last night around 6, then went out to dinner. Called it an early night, then this morning we slept in late, sat on the bed for a couple of hours talking, and then went browsing at the mall and out to lunch. This is the first time in months we've had that much time alone, it was great. We actually got to hold hands while we were walking!! I did get Darren golf clubs for Valentines day. So tomorrow he is going golfing for some me time of his own. He's pretty excited about it. Since he started working such wacky hours, his routine has pretty much been work, eat, spend a little time with me and the kids, sleep, work. I'm pretty excited that he now has something he can enjoy a few hours a week doing for himself. Its just as important for him to have some alone time as it is for me.
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Secretsmile
Member
08-19-2002
| Friday, February 20, 2004 - 11:30 am
WAR! GOLF CLUBS!?!?! OMG, what have you done? LOL! I bought my husband clubs about 5 years ago, now he got a second part time job just for "golf money". It's an obsession I tell ya, he's never home if the sun is shining, no yard work or out door chores get done, because the only time he's home is if it's raining. Well, the good thing is, now you have a permanent gift to give, e.g. better club, wedge, putter, even packs of balls. Not to mention near here you can buy a coupon book of different courses, and a PGA tour. Now, back to just for you, great ideas everyone. I love that you are all finding ways to get out of the house. I'm not a big movie fan, but when my husband and I get a chance for an afternoon together we like to check out the antique shops. When our kids were young and rowdy we would window shop for "nice" things that someday we could have around the house. It was a great way to dream together without tempting us too much to spend money we didn't have.
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Saturday, February 28, 2004 - 2:28 am
I got some good news today for me/us time. MOW finally took on full responsibilities for his new position at work this week. The reason this is good for us is that even though he will still be working 10-13 hour days Monday-Thursday, and 8 hours on Saturdays, Fridays he'll only be working 8, and he'll be off somewhere between 1 and 2 pm. That means that every week, we get a few hours alone together while the kids are in school! Since he's been working all these insane hours our couple time is getting less and less. When he is home, he spends time with the kids (I'm not complaining, they need that time together.) But, it will be nice for us to be able to go out to lunch alone, or just sit and talk. Sometimes we get so stuck on being mommy and daddy that we forget we are a couple and need to devote some time and energy to that.
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Wargod
Member
07-16-2001
| Saturday, March 06, 2004 - 1:04 am
Today was the first Friday Mow got off early that the kids weren't home. We went out for a late lunch, and had the best time. It was nice to sit and talk, though we did so much of it that we were almost late going to get the kids, lol. Since he doesn't get to spend too much time at school with the kids, it's nice for him to go pick them up when he can. They get excited, and he gets a chance to see what they're up to in class and a chance to talk to their teachers. Anyways, we had a great time.
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Jewels
Member
09-23-2000
| Saturday, March 06, 2004 - 9:08 am
How fun War! I think it is great that you are spending this time together.
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