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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 7:37 am
"Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success. " - David O. McKay
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Tuesday, May 04, 2004 - 8:54 am
Oh hey....those last two are great, LadyTex. I really do believe the both of them 
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Essence
Member
01-12-2002
| Wednesday, May 05, 2004 - 7:56 am
This is Four All Who Reed and Right... We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim. Let's face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. ~Author Unknown~
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Friday, May 07, 2004 - 12:58 pm
Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. - Vincent Van Gogh (1853 - 1890)
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Essence
Member
01-12-2002
| Wednesday, May 12, 2004 - 8:29 am
Got this in an email and thought it was cute... "WHY WE LOVE KIDS" NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago." OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?" POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?" ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" THE BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama , look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Wednesday, May 12, 2004 - 8:34 am
ROFL!! Some of those are hilarious!!
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Essence
Member
01-12-2002
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 11:05 am
A WARNING TO ALL WOMEN!!! THIS HAPPENED TO ME TODAY...... The strangest thing happened to me at lunch today. I was sitting at a local outdoor cafe having lunch by myself and two men came and sat down at my table..... I gave them the death look, but they just casually stayed at my table and wouldn't leave me alone. I shined up my ring on my married finger, then placed my hand on the table and I hinted to them that I was married and that I was not interested in them. Luckily for me they got the hint and left, but thankfully the whole thing was captured on the Cafe's camera. I'm sending you this picture as a warning..... just in case they try and pick you up too. Honestly, some men think they are God's gift to women!

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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 11:13 am
Too funny....I guess I should now have to cruise outdoor cafes in search of being picked up!
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 11:32 am
Yummy! I would have taken my ring OFF! lol
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Denecee
Member
09-05-2002
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 2:02 pm
Essense? Is just the one finger married? I love it!
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 2:10 pm
George and Brad, a rose by any other name......
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 2:14 pm
Lol, that was so cute! Btw, here's the new instructions, Essence...call up a good friend and go 'sharezies'. ;)
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Friday, May 14, 2004 - 3:13 pm
Now they are what I would call the "Dynamic Duo".
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Hippyt
Member
06-15-2001
| Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 2:57 pm
Actress Gwenyth Paltrow and her hubby had their baby girl. They have named her Apple.
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Mamie316
Member
07-08-2003
| Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 4:26 pm
Apple Blythe Alison Martin...I wonder what they are going to call her.
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Rupertbear
Member
09-19-2003
| Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 4:33 pm
Red Delicious... ;)
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Hippyt
Member
06-15-2001
| Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 4:53 pm
haha! Granny Smith???
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 8:18 am
I'm sad. Tony Randall died last night. http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/18/obit.randall/index.html
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Ladytex
Member
09-27-2001
| Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 8:23 am
"Education is an investment in itself. It doesn't matter how your teacher feels about you. You're responsible for investing in yourself. And that investment in yourself will make you available for opportunities in the future." -- Elizabeth Eckford
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 8:24 am
I saw that too, Lady..makes me sad also. I enjoyed his work.
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Hippyt
Member
06-15-2001
| Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 4:44 pm
Top ten bad celebrity baby names: http://entertainment.msn.com/celebs/article.aspx?news=158596
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Urgrace
Member
08-19-2000
| Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 5:46 pm
June Taylor famous for the June Taylor Dancers also died today. She was 82.
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Danzdol
Member
04-21-2001
| Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 11:32 am
oh wow! She was the founder of the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders down here in Florida.
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Ddr
Member
08-19-2001
| Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 6:44 am
PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
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Mak1
Member
08-12-2002
| Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 8:09 am
Aboslulety!
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