TVCH FORUMS HOME . JOIN . FAN CLUBS . ABOUT US . CONTACT . CHAT  
Bomis   Quick Links   TOPICS . TREE-VIEW . SEARCH . HELP! . NEWS . PROFILE
Archive through December 22, 2004

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2004 Nov. - 2005 Jan.: Free Expression... (ARCHIVES): The return of The Return of the Gripe Thread (ARCHIVES): Archive through December 22, 2004 users admin

Author Message
Reader234
Member

08-13-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Oh back to hockey, there have been reported incidences where police were called in, what makes it assault or battery on a sport team, but not in a parking lot... these things have changed the game, and you have to approach it as a teaching moment... yet, it takes so much time and effort!

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 6:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kar that is just awful!! I have seen the similar things with my kids, and I can even remember a similar incident when my little brother was playing basball 40 years ago!!!
I am with you and hope karma works too!

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 7:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'm sorry that happend Kar but it does happen frequently especially in organized sports. But I've been fortunate to have good coaches for my sons which have usually been their father or friends of their father where they have taken the whole team off the field in such situations. I have also taken my child off the field when I didn't like something that's going on. My feeling has always been damn a game, this is my child and ultimately I am responsible for their safety and if the coach doesn't like it he can step to me or their father.

Herckleperckle
Member

11-20-2003

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 7:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kar, maybe you need to call in a tip to a local TV station to follow this team and write a revealing story.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 7:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
That's a GREAT idea, Herc!!!

Juju2bigdog
Member

10-27-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 9:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I was thinking letter to the editor but tip to local tv about cut-throat kids games might be better. Good work, HP!

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 10:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
My dh is an umpire. He usually does 14ish year old games, but he has done as young as 8 year olds. Mostly travel teams. He has seen an heard everything. He has needed to be escorted to his car on more than one occasion (because he has thrown out some coaches and some fans). He has been threatened many times. It is ridiculous. And that is only stuff relating to him.

What is actually worse is what some of the fathers (not so much the coaches-but yes, some of the coaches too sometimes) do to their sons. One father told his kid he was not getting dinner that night because the kid struck out. I am not lying about that. Other fathers humiliate their sons as well as threaten them if they do not perform well. My dh has seen fathers bring their sons to the point of tears-from little kids up to HS age kids.

Makes me sick.

Also there are some coaches out there who tell their players how to cheat and encourage it. Shame on them.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 10:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
It's not just sons who have over jealous fathers. They do it to their daughters too. My dd played church league softball last year. Our team is just for fun. Another dad started a 2nd team cause our's wasn't SERIOUS enough! They would have all sorts of drills and penalties if they didn't do well.

Llkoolaid
Member

08-01-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 11:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
That crap is everywhere in organized sports for kids. Over the years I have found that it usually starts with the executive. Let me stress now not all the people who run these things are like that but there are always some on each executive. These type of parents will work their way onto the executive of a league to a position of selecting the players for the teams quite simply to stack the teams in their kids favor. Their kids always get the best coaches, the best players and the best game times. I have had kids in orgaized sports for over 20 years now and I have never ever not seen this happen. We are talking from bowling to baseball to soccer to hockey. It is always the parents. And when these parents are the ones running the show you might as well beat your head against a brick wall cause you are not going to get any further than to be called a whiner. Put a letter in the paper, and open yourself and expecially your child up to ridicule. The only way to change it is to get in there and get involved in the organizational part and make the neccessary changes, that is what I have done more than once. These bully parents will back off when they know that someone is watching what they are doing and don't allow it.

I have found that the best thing to do is to make sure your kids are aware of what is going on, and make sure that they are having fun and know that they are there for fun, exercise and social developement. Hilary played a soccer team this summer that not only won every game, they would win by at least 10-15 goals (yes I said soccer). All the other teams were equal. When they played this team, Hilary's coach who is also my daughter Chelsea, told them, today the goal is to score a goal and stop half of their attempts and to laugh everytime the other team scores a goal and most importantly to have fun. She also told them that to the other team it was important to their parents and coach that they won, but for her the most important thing was that they had fun, tried their best and if they did that they were winners to her.Seemed to work out fine, by the end of the season, our kids would come off the field happy because they could always reach some of their gaols and they had fun.

I guess what I am trying to say is you are going to find people like this everywhere, if you want to change it, you have to get in there and make the changes to get rid of these people.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 11:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
ROFL!!! just noticed my typo. I meant to say Zealous not jealous, but maybe that was a freudian sliip!

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 11:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Yes, this happens alot. But I have to say that it does not ALWAYS happen. I've seen teams very evenly matched. I've seen picks done by draft. I've seen picks done by drawing names. Yes there are some bad executive committees, but it is very unfair to say that they are ALL like that. There are some very good boards made up of people that love kids and want to do the best for them. And no, I'm not on any executive committee, I've just had the opportunities to work with some good ones, and some awful ones.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 11:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well, I will certainly make sure to get this team banned from playing in our rec league. However, since he is a coach HIRED by this organization and this is his full time job, I must assume they are happy with the job he is doing. And since it's a private organization, there's nothing else I can do about it unless they get fed up with him. My guess is that as long as the team wins, he'll be around.

It's just a sad sorry state of affairs. I do wish I had said something to some of the parents of the children on the other team.

Or gotten a group of our parents to wait in the parking lot for those crazy coaches and smacked them around.

Lancecrossfire
Moderator

07-13-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 11:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kar, is it possible to have the schedule adjusted by the league so that the serious team only plays other serious teams, and the rec teams play only rec teams?

Escapee
Member

06-15-2004

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 11:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
There is something you can do about this. It may be time consuming, but this person does not deserve to be a coach and kids shouldn't be exposed to this type of behavior and made to think this is "sportsmanlike conduct". My guess is that if the coach did it at this game, he did it somewhere else.
1. File a formal complaint with the rec department.
2. Start a petition requesting the removal of this coach. Get every parent on your sons team to sign it, then branch out to other teams to see if the have had this problem with this coach. Get signed affidavit's from other parents and their view on what happened during the game and turn them in with the petition. Deliver the completed petition in person to the rec center or send it certified mail.
3. Be consistent.
4. Don't give in.
5. Stir the pot.

Llkoolaid
Member

08-01-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I think I stressed that it wasn't all but if it wasn't clear then I will say it again. However in my experience I have never seen an executive that doesn't have people on it just to further their own children. I have been on many and there are always parents who join just for that reason, when they don't get their way, they leave.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 1:23 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well, let me stress again - this team is a *private* team. They have played in our indoor rec league to keep their skills in shape during the off season for travel teams. And we've always allowed them, since they are so good, it provides a challenge to our kids.

Yes, they can be prohibited from playing in our rec league. But we have no way of controlling what this individual group of parents decide to do about their coach. He is essentially self-employed and recruits kids to play on teams at different age levels. Every other league they play in would have to decide separately whether to let them participate in their own leagues.

Lance, we don't have any other teams at that level that play indoor in our area. And I don't think that's adequate anyway. It doesn't matter what level of competition they are, cheating is still cheating. And encouraging kids to play outside the rules is wrong in all levels, as far as I know. :-)

Llkoolaid
Member

08-01-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 1:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Karunna , I wasn't responding to you, sorry if you felt that way.

I think I will take a break from this place for awhile, see you all when I am in a much better place. Right now is not a good time for me, I am having a whole lot of bad news and stuff right now and I have to step back and regroup. I know I am just being touchy and shouldn't be here because of it. I love this place and will be back when I feel better.

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 2:22 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kar, is there an officials association that you can get involved in this? We had this problem with a team, got the officials association involved, and they talked to the coach and the team.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 2:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LL - no, I didn't take your post that way. Just trying to re-explain why I didn't think there was anything more I could do to those who had suggestions for action. I'm sorry things are rough for you right now, and truly hope you come back soon.

Lady - I don't know, and am not sure how to find out. I will ask our coach if she knows more about that.

I really do feel strongly that this coach ought to be sanctioned somehow, and more than just being kicked out of our league. Altho he has several teams that compete there to stay on top of their game, and it's the only indoor soccer venue in town, so that will hurt him some I suppose. I just continued to be outraged that he was teaching his kids to try to and purposefully physically hurt our kids in order to try to win the game.

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 3:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Yeah, that's why I suggested getting the officials association involved. Sometimes that has more of an impact because usually the association is in charge of more than just that league ...

Lancecrossfire
Moderator

07-13-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 3:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kar, I agree completely that cheating si cheating at any level. My intent of the suggestion was to try and not have a serious team disrupt the concept that your son's team plays under--that for more of a fun thing.

I do understand what you said about providing competition though to get better.

The other thing I have found being involved at various levels of competitive sports is the things that are ok by the majority of the players and coaches. I bet you will find that many of the teams they travel and play against do the very same things.

Many won't too. It is VERY common at the high school football level for the line coach to teach how to hold a defensive player and not get caught. There are other things that go on. Now the issue of hurting other players on purpose goes a bit far for any age.

That may be the thing that hangs him at some point. I*n any event it's clear he has lost the respect of the game--and the true concept of what competition is all about. That will hurt his kids over the years.

Kar, I'd be pissed off too though.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 3:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
yeah, and I'm prettty sure that calling the ref a f**king idiot is against most rules too.

I sent an Email to my son's coach to see what else we can do. My poor kid's knee is a swollen mess today. By the way, that slam into the boards against my son was what got the other coach's son thrown out of the game. It's going to give me nightmares for some time.

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 4:12 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hugs to your son, Kar, and to his mom. I hate that you're having to go through this.

Zachsmom
Moderator

07-13-2000

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 4:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Someone needs to go shit on that mans porch!

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 4:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Kar, my heart goes out to you in your frustrated state. You did better than I would have.

I have a gripe. In my local paper, you can send in a picture of your family on vacation or just having a good time sort of thing. Each day the paper posts one of the pics with a brief caption. I open the paper the other day to see a 5x7 of two men with their kills(deer) all laid out dead. You could see the blood! I'm not against hunting but am very glad my husband is not into it. (pretty sure I would not be with a hunter guy) I just don't think the newspaper needs to object it's readers to that.