Author |
Message |
Amchess
Member
08-27-2002
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 8:51 am
A few of us had someone who pestered the heck out of us during BB1 or 2 in the chat rooms (we always went to Room 2 or 5). I don't remember how we finally got rid of him tho! I do remember that he said he was from Miami.
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 9:11 am
Kar, can you give us an example of the type of personna a person will assume on the board to fool us? Is there a way to detect a pretender by their posts? I feel comfortable with posters that I have met in real life and a few others that I have not met yet. If someone is willing to attend TVCH meetings, is that an indication to you that they are who they say they are? Very interesting subject.
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Graceunderfyre
Member
01-21-2004
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:20 am
I haven't had problems here and I often wonder about that because I know I've divulged WAY more info about me and my family here than I ever have before. I was stalked twice - both times in college. Once by an IRC guy who somehow figured out what college I went to and sent me roses and notes and stuff like that. (It was a small campus at the time, and I was 1 of 2 Indians the other being my male cousin, so it got to me eventually) My boyfriend put an end to that guy - I think the fact that I had a boyfriend was all he needed to step back. Another time, I forwarded an email to a friend that was just horrible - it was trashing blacks or colored people (I say colored because I am brown). I was just telling her I couldn't believe there were people that ignorant in the world and the lab supervisor heard us talking about it so she hacked into my friend's email account to read it. She was so outraged that she forwarded it to ALL sorts of people - the problem was, I had intentionally erased ALL previous names & emails when I sent it so it looked like it originated with me. The next day I had half the black community talk about me and then death threats started being emailed/called in to me on campus. IT WAS PURE CRAZINESS. And you know, I really don't think anything other than a warning happened to the nosey lab super.
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:23 am
Rosie, I'd be hardpressed to give you an example, except to say that it is easier for someone to hide serious mental issues on line that would be more obvious in real life. I've gotten pretty good at detecting that something isn't quite right by a person's posts, but it's taken a lot of time and a few horrible mistakes to learn. I'm not sure how to explain it. Meeting people face to face does help, however, some people can act a role for a weekend or a few days as well. I'd be especially wary of any potential romantic involvements, or anyone who seems very interested in the details of your personal life very early on. Or, anyone coming across as especially needy, and tugging on your heart strings, and most especially if they spend a lot of time complimenting you. It's hard to cover all the ways folks can be deceptive, or just downright nutty. The best advice is just to be far more cautious than you would be meeting someone in person. And if your intuition makes you feel a little squirmy about someone, be ten times more cautious. Don't know if that helps any. Oh, and don't forget to be especially wary of anyone with really odd, inexplicable names. Um, like juju2bigdogs. Hehehehe... 
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:28 am
Thank you Kar. That does help. Acck, I met Juju and Bigdog in real life. (They both are great!)
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:30 am
I was on an ivillage message board (in its very early days!) and someone pretended to get sick, she wanted to be a moderator, but often incited posters to get upset, so then she posted she wasnt healthy, and she was alone, then "she" (an assumed name tho) posted she died, and it was all our fault for flaming her posts, and not believing her, and some of her "friends" posted keeping the board very active, then one of the computer savy people got hold of her isp# found out the city of origin, went thru death certs, and newspapers and no suicides, or deaths listed, so she called her on her "death"... it was very involved... Made me realize there are some very clever people out in internet land, and dont believe everything you read! I too divulge too much, sometimes I realize I make posts to get it out of "my" system, and I forget that people interpret things I write different than how I say them as I type!! I am really glad tho that I got to meet quite a few "axe murderers" and cant wait to meet more in FEB!! {{HUGS}}
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:43 am
Kar, on a serious note, some of my decisions have been based on how a poster relates to someone that I have developed a trust for over the past year. For example, if Tess trusts Juju, then I feel safe meeting Juju in real life because I completely trust Tess' judgment. Make sense?
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:46 am
I'm glad this discussion has come up because I think it's very necessary. Personally and this is just me and I'm not saying that everyone should think like me(far from it) but I tend to not trust anyone at first and I am especially wary of people who are here one moment and then disappear for months on end and then pop up again. That's just me.
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Graceunderfyre
Member
01-21-2004
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:47 am
I think I feel the same way Rosie.
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 10:51 am
Mocha, good point. Had not thought of that.
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Danas15146
Member
03-31-2004
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:09 am
Reader - similar situation on a true crime newsgroup I belong to. I am obviously not a computer genius - but I would bet dollars to donuts that there is one person with several ids starting stuff. Anytime things get quiet - more drama pops up. I had gotten a couple of rude emails related to that situation but just blocked the email addy and reported to yahoo as harassment. Never thought much more about it and steered clear of that group!
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:20 am
Faking illness (often serious illness) and/or faking death are actually quite common on the internet. It's shocking and disturbing. Rosie, I agree to a point about basing trustworthiness on other relationships. However, some people I know who are very trustworthy and wonderful folks have been taken in by some real creeps. I think you really have to look at the whole picture. And just be careful!
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:29 am
Thanks again Kar. I don't see any compliments in my folder and not one suggestion of a romantic involvement so guess I don't have to worry for now. 
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Seamonkey
Member
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:32 am
Being careful is good.. I also rely to some extent on people who have met other people.. and I was lucky that my first experiences meeting people from online (or before that from snail mail groups) has been quite good. There's a person or two that I might not want to meet again but on the whole, I've had great experiences. Of course I'm not talking about dating or romantic hookups and such; that's a whole other level.. I will say that no one should be afraid to meet Rosie!!
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:39 am
Aww, thank you SEA. The scariest thing I ever did was show-up in Vegas and walk inside to meet all new people. Went ahead and met some of them again - like SEA
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 12:08 pm
LOL, Rosie. Vegas was great! Just remember about the faking illness and death stuff too. It can really be devastating to find out you've been caring and worrying about someone that you've never met only to find out they were playing you.
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 12:15 pm
Like a violin. Vegas, brings back great memories.
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Landi
Member
07-29-2002
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 12:48 pm
i agree about meeting people. i remember being terrified about meeting my first "online" friends many years ago. although i thought the meeting went well, i soon found out, what others thought about the trip was not exactly what i had. some severe stuff was posted, and it made me extremely wary about meeting people again. THEN, i came to TVCH a few years back. i didn't meet anyone until earlier this year. my first TVCH'er was juju and her husband bigdog. again a feeling of terror filled me. at first making the plans was exciting. but the dread i felt, would they like me, would i meet their expectations, etc. was terrifying. i decided to go ahead with the meet, because other people had met them, and they "seemed" all right. well, lo and behold, they were MORE THAN ALL RIGHT!!! they were wonderful!! this gave me the confidence to meet other TVCh'ers. i even went to a event in reno. what a terrific time i had there! i have gotten so confident with tvch'ers that i even recently had a special one (seamonkey) over to my home. although i am perceived as a "bubbly" personality, i can be skittish when it comes to meeting people in person. my own opinion of myself is not as high, as others have given me, on this board. i appreciate them for the time that other tvch'ers have given to want to meet me. I HAVE NOT MET A STALKER IN THE BUNCH!
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Texannie
Member
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 12:55 pm
Reader, that same thing happened on a parenting board I used to go to!!!! It's funny. I moderate another board, have been for over 8 years. They 'know' alot more about me. I have met several of the posters too, but I have been very hesitant to share my kids' names and pics with them for some reason, but here I haven't had a problem.....go figure.
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Legalboxer
Member
11-17-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 1:04 pm
interesting - umm maybe i should disappear for a few months and then pop up in mocha's folder and scare her hehehe o was never stalked but i had to change my aol name in law school because of my classmates tracked it down and always was IMing me and her friend started IMing me too every time i would log on - nothing dangerous but just so so annoying and dependent-like
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 1:23 pm
Legal Legal Legal, I could've had you bagged and tagged when you were visiting my city some months ago for that job interview. 
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Legalboxer
Member
11-17-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 1:24 pm
i visit your city weekly mocha - who says i dont know exactly where you are every day hehehe
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 1:25 pm
And vice versa.
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Rosie
Member
11-12-2003
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 6:29 pm
Mocha, why do you think people disappear only to return much later?
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Mocha
Member
08-12-2001
| Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 6:41 pm
Danged if I know lol.
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