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~MORE THAN ONE CHRISTMAS~

The TVClubHouse: General Discussions ARCHIVES: 2004 Nov. - 2005 Jan.: ~MORE THAN ONE CHRISTMAS~ users admin

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Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 6:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We have three different Christmas events to go to this year! One is at our house, one at my parents who live in a different state, and one to celebrate after Christmas. My daughter is young and I am wondering how I am going to explain to her how and why Santa is coming to each place on different days...

Also, the "big" gift day will be at our house first and I wonder if that will lead to disappointment when the other two events are on a smaller scale (yet most important because they are with family).

Does anyone else have a crazy situation, and how to you handle it? We could be dealing with this situation for years to come...

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 6:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We sort of have that. For years my inlaws would come here and my folks would come over Christmas am to open presents and do Santa, then later in the day the rest of the family would come over for Christmas dinner.
A few years ago, my inlaws stopped being able to travel so we would go up there either a few days before or a few days after. This year, I am having my dad and his new wife come over Christmas eve to open presents, then Christmas am it will be just the 4 of us. Christmas dinner will be everyone at our house later in the day. Two days after Christmas we are going to go to the inlaws to celebrate Christmas with them.
A very long way to say.......my kids know that Santa only comes to our house Christmas am. Yes, it does dillute the presents somewhat when you split it up between places, but it's also nice to have it sort of spread out. We have been able to really take time opening presents instead of the mad ripping festival it was when everyone was over and there were mounds of presents. We have started special traditions exclusive to my inlaws so that helps them not feel 'cheated'.
We also do stockings for everyone. My dh does them. He usually goes to the dollar store and really comes up with some doozies! LOL Everyone looks forward to seeing what they get.


Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 6:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We always had multiple Christmases. Santa came on Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning at whatever relative we stayed with.

Mom's close family always opened presents on Christmas Eve night (Scandanavian tradition) after church. Big family get together with Dad's Mom's extended family on Christmas day.

We also met with Dad's family usually on the day after because it was my aunt's birthday. Sometime in there we would meet with mom's extended family.

No confusion for us as kids. Except the one year when we had bad roads, and Mom hung our stockings over the back seat of the car cause we were still driving late on Christmas Eve.

SANTA comes only once....the others are gifts from family. Some are big, some are small....no big deal. Just explain when the big gifts are, and that the others will be small.

Frankly, I miss the big family gatherings. I think that it would be boring to only have one Christmas gathering at home.

Schoolmarm
Member

02-18-2001

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 6:56 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ooo, and when Mom was packing all the presents to take with in the trunk of the car, ours for the stocking were in color coded foil so she knew which went where. I didn't realize this until years later. I thought that Santa used foil wrapping for everyone! LOL!

Freckledgrl
Member

08-27-2003

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 9:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We did the many different Christmas get togethers too and every one of them had gifts from Santa..lol. My parents just explained it away as we must have been really good that year. And grandma always told us that she had a special deal with Santa because she loved us grandkids so much.

We never thought it was odd because Santa had always found a way to get us presents without a chimney, so if he could do that then he could go to granny's house too

Wargod
Moderator

07-16-2001

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 1:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We do several different Christmas get togethers with family. A few days before Christmas we get together with hubby's famiy. Then Christmas Eve we spend some time at a friends house and follow that up with going to my sisters where a bunch of us get our families together and Santa comes to visit and pass out one present for each of the kids. Christmas day, we each start at our own houses, opening Santa gifts and our gifts to each other, then they all come to mine where we exchange a second set of gifts and have lunch. They all leave, we clean up and get the kids ready and head over to bil's uncles house where we have Christmas dinner.

Santa only comes to the house the kids wake up at. Rest of their presents are from family. The single exception is that my mom buys each of us one gift from Santa. He leaves those gifts at her house and she brings them over to give out.

Kids just think it's one big party, lol. They get to spend a couple days with all their cousins in one place and they are usually so busy playing they don't think too much about getting gifts all over the place and having so many celebrations.

Jagger
Member

08-07-2002

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 5:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We've always done the Santa thing several times, we always had the "family party" where most of the brothers and sisters and their families get together, this is always the Saturday before Christmas.

We always have a santa show up, than he'll show up at other parties that people go to. It is generally told that the santa's that show up are just his helpers, that the real Santa is the one that shows up on Christmas eve. Once they were old enough to figure out this was a farce they were told the story of who santa really was.

Reader234
Member

08-13-2000

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 5:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
"farce"? Farce"? bah humbug!!

Santa comes, Santa lives in the hearts of those that believe... Yes Virgina there is a Santa Claus, and my 19yr DS knows this in his heart!!

mumble grumble, no Santa farce harmph

Resortgirl
Member

09-23-2000

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 6:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
LOL Reader! Jordan is 14 and has never admitted he doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
We've always had to do several Christmas' due to divorces in the family ect. I had decided years ago to be absolutely flexible when it comes to this, because my ex's mom was so UNFLEXIBLE and it always caused resentments. So some years we have traveled on Christmas eve, some years we have delayed Christmas with certain family until the weekend after Christmas, One year we only had Jordan on Christmas Eve because the older two went to their dads side (I have to admit, that was tough on me, but I put on a brave face) As far as questions about Santa, we told them that he delivered early if we were celebrating before, late if we celebrated late.... and he always knew where we were, so they didn't have to worry about not getting there gifts. They bought it!

Danas15146
Member

03-31-2004

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 7:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
We also have to do the several Christmas deal due to both sets of parents being divorced. The only gifts that are from Santa are the ones that are at our house on Christmas Morning. The others are from whomever they are from.

Are kids never seem to be disappointed in the difference in the amount/size of the gifts. They are just excited that the gifts never seem to end .... We normally are having family "Chirstmases" until the beginning of January.

Ladytex
Member

09-27-2001

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 7:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
it's amazing how long kids believe in Santa when they know that he stops coming when you stop believing in him ... lol ...

Cablejockey
Member

12-27-2001

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 7:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Years ago we would spend Christmas morning at in-laws and dinner with my family and have to switch it around next year so not get anyone mad. It felt like you spent the whole holiday on the road just pleasing others. By the time I had our second child, I put a halt to the whole thing. The kids would spend Christmas Eve at home in their own beds. If anyone wanted to see us, they could come to our home, and that included dinner. Its much more relaxing.

Secretsmile
Member

08-19-2002

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 8:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Our family is like many others here, both my parents and my husband's parents are divorced and remarried, that made 4 sets of grandparents that wanted to see my children on Christmas.

Early on we decided "Santa" would only give each child one gift, and that one was always made of wood or cloth such as an elf could make. I know, that's so corny. I wanted my children to learn to thank the family members that bought them presents, to understand why some of their friends had less under the tree than they did, and to be honest why some years were more plentiful than other years.

Marm, I did the same thing, I wrapped each child's gifts in one color, and the gift from Santa was in a totally different paper. I started doing the individual colors when they were too young to read their names on the tags so a faster unwrapper wouldn't open their siblings gifts.

Last year I thought they were all too old to do the stocking thing, boy was I wrong. I have strict instructions this year right down to the orange in the toe!

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Wednesday, December 01, 2004 - 9:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
These are wonderful stories, thank you for sharing!

Our situation is a bit different. We have a little house up north three doors down from my mom. We visit there three to four times a year, and stay in the house and visit in hers. Mom puts up a tree for us every year inside our house. So on Christmas morning there are a few gifts under the tree for our dd. We love going north for Christmas to see the snow because we live in the south where it never snows. My daughter wants to make "sand angels" in the snow this year!

I guess what we will be doing is having Christmas in Florida one week early, drive for two days to Michigan, have a Christmas Eve dinner at my aunt's house, do Christmas Day with the whole family and then have Christmas again when we return.

Whew!

When I moved to Florida I told my mom that I would always be home for Christmas...

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-21-2004

Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 9:39 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Growing up, santa only came once. It was to whomever's house we were at for the actual day. But you also have to keep in mind that we would have around 40-60 people staying in one spot. There would always be more than one side of the family there for all of us and the host family dad would always play santa (unless an older male relative was visiting from India) and just about every single person would get their picture taken sitting on his lap. I never really thought about the fact that my Santa was always SO much darker than the ones at the mall, but that's probably because we knew who was under the suit.

Most of the time we celebrated with my mom's side of the family. But one thing is for certain, we have an unspoken rule that if we don't see you during the holiday season, we don't buy you presents (unless you are a sibling/parent/child). Nobody's feelings were hurt by this, because the gift part of Christmas was always a minor thing for us. Both of my families have traiditions of going to a performance of the Messiah, going Christmas caroling in the neighborhood, having a talent show, making Christmas ornaments, re-enacting the manger scene (yes we would do a live nativity OUTSIDE in front of the house every year for everyone to walk by and see). . . but my extended family is CRAZY - most of them are performers or are crafty types and when a family gathering is so large you can't worry about gifting every single person. You'd go broke.

DH's family is American - they do not celebrate like we Indians do at all. For DH's family - especially my MIL and DH's aunt - it's all about gifts. They make such a HUGE thing about exchanging Christmas lists at Thanksgiving and my MIL is to the point that if you don't get her EXACTLY what is on her list (the brown sweater with 1 bird - not 2 on it) she will complain.

The result is one get together for DH's dad's side and one get together for DH's mom's side. Since we have always traveled a distance during the holidays and this is DS's 2nd Christmas, multiple Santa appearances has not been a problem. DH's family leaves santa gifts up to the parents - SIL does complain that she likes to have her family "Christmas" on the morning of when santa leaves gifts and it's too hard to go get to multiple homes the night before and then that evening. So she has made it a rule for her parents that if they are going to have separate celebrations they must be a few days apart.

I understand having more than one celebration when the 2 sides don't mix (esp. when there is a divorce) but DH's family does mix - for every birthday AND for Thanksgiving. Needless to say, for us the chaos of figuring out where and when each family is going to celebrate is too much so we normally try NOT to come out here for Christmas and just celebrate with my family. But his family still expects us to send gifts for everyone. I'm not sure what will happen this year since we live out here now - but we've already made it clear that we may or may not be around and to plan stuff without worrying about us.

ps I realize not all American's celebrate like DH's family but when DH complains to his family that they make things too complicated they always tell him that this is how ALL Americans do it and that my family is foreign. nice, huh?

Peronsonally I always liked the fact that Santa came to our house and spent a little time with us - even if we knew it was just a suit.

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 10:36 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I guess I have some guilt over not having Christmas at home, but if I didn't see my parents and brother for Christmas I would have even more guilt!



Sewmommy
Member

07-06-2004

Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 12:15 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
At first this thread really didn't pertain to me, but today it does.My MIL informed me this morning that last year while brunch was good, they were really hungry at about 4:00 when they got home last year. So she said she would be happy to make all sorts of "normal" Christmas dinner food and bring it over and we could celebrate later in the afternoon. So We get to celebrate 2 Christmases in the same house with in hours of each other.
It's been a huge step just to get them to come to our house for christmas anyway, you know, where their closest grandchildren live.
I am sorry for griping, but this really irks me! I don't get to see any of my family(we are in IL, they are in CA)for the holidays. Let our family have some of our own traditions!

BTW, Grace, I love the sound of your family traditions. It sounds absolutely wonderful. We had big family gatherings when I was growing up, and even when we lived in CA. Its' more important to be with family, not the presents. But you need to like your family, right?


Graceunderfyre
Member

01-21-2004

Thursday, December 02, 2004 - 6:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Sewmommy - so are you saying MIL doesn't want you to get together with your own family?

I may be a bad person to talk to tonight. DH and I got into a big fight because I opted out of a Christmas Tea that his mom and sister sponsored a table at for their church. I feel very uncomfortable because my MIL is so excited to have us living here now and is always showing off about how great I am and it makes me feel . . . I don't know how to describe it. . . I guess stupid is a good word. I also get embarrased because SIL gets pushed aside and I hate seeing it. I also hate being around a bunch of people that I know MIL has told all sorts of details about me to that I wouldn't normally tell to others on my own. So in answer to your question, yes family gatherings are much more important that the presents but you def. do need to like your family otherwise you need those gifts to distract you.

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Friday, December 03, 2004 - 7:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Speaking of MIL's, mine still has not accepted the fact that every year we live here we will be going to MY family who lives 1200 miles out of state and sees us rarely sees us.

Although this is the fifth year in a row we have done so, she still comments with, "Oh, you aren't going to be here for Christmas?" with the intent of laying a huge guilt trip on her son.

Who she can see every darned day if she wanted to.

Reader234
Member

08-13-2000

Saturday, December 04, 2004 - 2:38 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Holidays, all about pressure and stress!!

When I was growing up my dad's company had a Christmas party, and the man that dressed up as Santa was a friend of my dad, and he managed to get info on many of us kids that sat on his lap, how we were doing in school etc.. I KNEW he was the real Santa, one year we were in a horrific car accident, and Santa (from dad's work, the one and only!) came to our house!! We got to open our presents with SANTA! On Christmas Eve!! I was so excited I forgot all about the reindeer, till he was gone... that memory was so precious I honestly believed in Santa thru the 6th grade, and when it dawned on me, the "farce" (*ahem) that I slid into the hole spirit of the season, what can I say it worked for me, and I tried to uphold that feeling of love, and spirit of giving in my own family!

So the year we stopped going to IN (and my mom moved to Fl and mil =dont ask!) and started our traditions, my oldest wanted to "play" too, he waited and waited, and finally told us to go to bed so he could do something special - so around 3am Santa delivered, and we went to bed... DS wrote a letter to DD from Santa, and ate the cookies, and left a sugar heart... so special

When my parents and inlaws lived 12 miles apart, I tried to do 2 Christmas Day traditions, it was hard seperating Santa's gifts, I gave up trying.

I always bought special wrapping paper, with Santa's on it, to seperate the gifts in my mind, and I would use a big black sharpie marker with thier first initial on it, when they couldnt read their names, they knew their first initials!!

It just dawned on me this year, ds's will invite their gf's over. We've never had anyone over here at Christmas, so now decorating knowing someone is coming over has really hit me!! Its one thing if its just us, but now, someone will see... so I'm wide awake, and its 3:30AM!!! lol

Graceunderfyre
Member

01-21-2004

Saturday, December 04, 2004 - 9:42 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
DeeSandy- I know exactly what you mean. We have always tried to come and visit my InLaws for Thanksgiving because well, they are American and we Indians just don't do it right. But Christmas has always been so special in my house - DH was just saying today that he can't remember the last time we went to his family's for that week. But EVERY year, MIL & FIL try to guilt us into coming out to their place and EVERY year I have to remind them that we have a gazillion other people we'd like to see. MIL sometimes accuses me (without being totally upfront about it) of sabatoging her son into not liking family events. But the truth of the matter is, my DH has ALWAYS been antisocial and has NEVER liked family events (mine or his). So since I know he'll be miserable no matter what, I just choose to go where I am happy. What's wrong with that?

Deesandy
Member

08-12-2003

Thursday, December 09, 2004 - 2:13 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I just found out that my MIL will not be bringing her mom (my daughter's great grandmother) to our NYE Christmas Present exchange because she doesn't want to be bothered with her on that day.

Now I have to figure out yet another time to try to celebrate with her and our family!

Why can't things just be simple?