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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Monday, September 20, 2004 - 8:25 am
Our baby gate is outside his door, so he can exit his room but can only go to the bathroom or our room from there. He's never tried to climb it yet and hasn't climbed out of his crib for weeks. It was just something he tried a few times. He's very interested in the big boy bed, especially since he got the Hot Wheels comforter set for his b-day, but I don't want to change too much too soon, so that will come later. It's Day 11 in our potty training world and I can tell you all I am SO happy to be back at work today. The 3 of us have been spending way too much time together and really getting on each others nerves. We ventured out for short outings this weekend and that went well. I think it's time to turn him over to others now and see how they do. He's still not at the point of telling us BEFORE he has to pee, but always tells us after. He's just now started to say pee pee before he lets go so this is a definite good thing. As long as we remind him and get him on the potty every 1.5 hours or so, all goes well. I think it will be a long process.
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Danzdol
Member
04-21-2001
| Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 2:15 pm
SO far it's working pretty nicely. Remember DYlan slept in his crib from Day 1. When he started attempting to climb out, he also got sick and started school at the same time so after 2 years of sleeping on his own, he slept with us for like 4 days straight. When we assembled his bed, I showed it to him and layed in it and read him a book in it. I could tell he was anxious and nervous about this new change. I immediately showed him how to exit the bed since it's against the wall with a side rail on it. He did it great the first time. We started by letting him fall asleep with us and changing him to his bed and for day naps, he falls asleep on a huge stuffed hippo in his playroon after bath time and I carry him in. 4 out of 5 times he stays and sleeps his usual pattern even if he wakes up in the middle of it. THere have been a couple of incidents where he wakes up and comes to us like last night or wakes up and cries until I carry him and he falls asleep again. I then transitioned into going into bed with him until he fell asleep. I am still not at the point where I say "beddie by bye and he goes". Before I used to just put him in his crib awakw and all and he fell asleep. Little by little I guess. But for the most part he has welcomed the freedom. The best is seeing him wake up where he lingers in his bed and talks and plays. This is a good sign that he feels comfortable there. School is fine, we just started him from 3 days to 5 days this week because he is still crying 2 out of the 4 hours 
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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 6:12 am
Sounds like you've got it going well Danz. Nate loves laying on his bed (it's in the loft right now) and we tell him that he can sleep in it when he has no more accidents, if he would like to. He seems to understand that. He went back to his nanny yesterday and it went well with the potty stuff. I'm so glad. Here's a recent photo of Nate, and another of Nate and his cousin Ava.

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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 6:24 am

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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 6:22 pm
Too cute Enb! Amazing how fast they grow. Here is a picture of my new niece, born just 11 days ago. (yes, on 9-11). She was born 4 weeks and 2 days early, but is doing great!!!! Notice her little head is just a bit bigger than as a baseball!!!

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Hippyt
Member
06-15-2001
| Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 6:37 pm
Aww,how sweet and tiny! Nate and Ava are such cuties!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 3:54 pm
What Makes a Happy Child? Ten things that you can do to raise a happy person. By Lorraine Glennon For a new parent, then, the burning question is "What can I do to increase the odds that my child will have these things?" Part of the answer is fairly obvious: Accept your child for who she is, not who you think she should be. Be attentive to her needs, take her fears seriously, and really listen when she speaks to you. Above all, make sure she knows that you love her without qualification. But these principals, worthy as they are, are somewhat abstract. What a parent really wants is a concrete way to achieve these ends. While we can't offer a foolproof recipe for happiness, we have come up with a top-ten list of not-so-obvious ways to steer your child toward her place in the sun. 1. Tap into tradition. Whether it's eating dinner together, observing birthdays and holidays, or reading bedtime stories every night, nothing is more valuable to your family than establishing rituals and traditions. Capital-T traditions -- lighting Sabbath candles or making Christmas cookies from a recipe passed down from your great-grandmother -- are important because they lend meaning to your child's life, reinforcing the bonds among family members and anchoring her to something beyond the purely temporal. Equally precious, however, are the small, seemingly inconsequential customs and rituals that are unique to your immediate family -- the fact that you order Chinese food on Friday nights, say, or compose a funny poem for your child's first day of school each year. The familiarity and predictability of these routines make a child feel safe. 2. Say it with a song. Claims that listening to classical music will make your child smarter are greatly exaggerated, but there is no doubt about music's mood-altering qualities. In ancient times, music and musical instruments were believed to have powers that healed both the body and the mind. In modern times, countless teachers have documented the therapeutic effects of song (in one 1996 study at the University Hospitals of Cleveland, children who listened to "I've Been Working on the Railroad" while getting an inoculation felt less pain than those who didn't have music played for them). And most of us know from everyday experience that a great song lifts our spirits and eases stress. After all, it's pretty hard to be in a bad mood during a rollicking rendition of "Old McDonald Had a Farm," especially if the whole family joins in. 3. Be community minded. Active participation in your community sends at least two important messages to your child. When you coach a Little League team, for example, or pitch in at your preschool's fund-raiser, your child realizes that what matters to her matters to you. And that gives her confidence a powerful boost. But on an even more fundamental level, your involvement underscores the value of community itself. It makes kids feel that they are part of a larger whole, and that individuals can affect others in a positive way. Not surprisingly, research has also found a strong correlation between altruism and happiness, so why not get your child involved in helping others? Take her along when you volunteer at a local soup kitchen, or join in a neighborhood cleanup. Even young kids can discover the satisfaction of giving back. 4. Curb your cynicism. We live in an age of ironic detachment, so you may not always be aware of the corrosive effect your flip comments have on your child. Yet a cynical attitude can take a huge toll on your child's sense of security, a crucial component of happiness. Kids need to believe that the world is a good place and that people are basically decent. Never mind that you have concluded that your child's teacher is an idiot or that your elected officials are incompetent. When you voice these opinions, you undermine your child's faith in the people and the institutions around her. As a result, she may begin to view the world as a scary place. 5. Encourage your child's passions. Happiness researchers agree that being truly absorbed in a challenging task is perhaps the surest route to happiness. Being completely caught up in an activity can be achieved through all sorts of endeavors, from stamp collecting to painting to automobile repair. That's why it's important to expose your child to a wide range of experiences to see what appeals to him. This is not, we hasten to point out, an endorsement of the frantic overscheduling that has befallen so many children. The idea is to make your child aware of all that's available, allowing him to gravitate toward one or two pursuits that are meaningful to him. Even if your child throws his intellectual and creative energy into what will almost certainly be a passing fancy -- collecting Pokemon cards, for instance, or playing basketball morning, noon, and night -- the ability to totally immerse himself in an activity he loves will give him a leg up on happiness throughout his life. 6. Raise a nature kid. In today's high-tech world, most of us don't take enough time to enjoy Mother Nature. Yet an appreciation of the natural world, with its dazzling array of everyday miracles, nourishes us in innumerable ways. Nature engages all of a child's senses, encourages reflection and acute observation, and helps stimulate the recognition of a just and purposeful existence. In other words, the inherent order we see in nature gives rise to a similar feeling in us. The certainty that each year the snow will melt and make way for crocuses, and that the green leaves of summer will deepen into orange and brown, provides a vital antidote to the frenetic, high-tech world most of us inhabit. 7. Bring home a four-legged friend. Deciding whether to get a pet can be tough for parents: The commitment of time and energy is huge and (your child's assurances to the contrary) most of the pet care will end up being your responsibility. Still, there's convincing evidence that taking it on is worth the effort. According to Gail F. Melson, author of Why the Wild Things Are: Animals in the Lives of Children (Harvard University Press, 2001), pets often provide reassurance when kids are worried and afraid. And kids absorb crucial lessons about empathy, loyalty, and attachment from the animals they love. Through nurturing pets and investing emotionally in them, children learn to care for and look after others, says Melson. In addition, pets make children feel valued and competent. Remember that a pet doesn't have to be a dog or a cat; guinea pigs, rabbits, and even small reptiles make lovely and relatively low-maintenance pets. If a pet is out of the question, your child can still get exposure to animals through visits to a zoo or nature center. 8. Make your house a home. The advice to sharpen your housekeeping skills may seem trivial, but maintaining a pleasant domestic environment for your children is more important than you might think. If your house is disorganized or messy, kids are less likely to want to have friends over. Keeping things neat and in place give kids a feeling of peace and contentment. However, you don't want to turn into a compulsive neat-freak. Comfort is a big part of happiness, and kids need to feel free to run, jump, get dirty, and be occasional slobs in their own homes -- by themselves and with their playmates. 9. Serve happy meals. As adults, most of us are aware that eating healthily, under pleasant, unhurried conditions, makes us feel better in both body and spirit. Children, though, rarely have that much insight into themselves. That's why it's up to parents to make mealtime a positive experience from an early age. That means turning off the TV, sitting down together as a family, and eating nutritious foods. The difference in kids' dispositions (not to mention their health) can be dramatic. In February 2003, ABC's Good Morning America reported on a secondary school in Appleton, Wisconsin, that saw its discipline problems plummet after it overhauled its lunchtime routine. Round tables replaced the standard rectangular ones in the cafeteria to create a more relaxed, convivial atmosphere, and the menu began featuring fresh fruits and vegetables, whole-grain breads, and additive-free entrees instead of the standard pizza, soda, fries, and vending-machine junk. To the amazement of the school's principal, discipline and behavioral problems decreased dramatically after the new program was introduced. Just imagine how your kids will benefit if you do this same thing at home. 10. Get physical. This advice cuts two ways. First, show your children lots of physical affection: hugs, kisses, back rubs, tummy tickles. Apart from demonstrating that you're crazy about them, touch has the power to relieve stress and elevate mood. Second, you get your kids moving. Whether it's because strenuous activity releases feel-good brain chemicals such as endorphins (as one of the most popular theories maintains) or simply because meeting a physical challenge confers a positive feeling of achievement, a mountain of research has established a link between regular exercise and psychological well-being. In addition, children who are physically fit have a more positive body image than those who are sedentary. Finally, it's just plain fun for kids to run, jump, swim, ride bikes, and play ball -- ideally, with you joining in. After all, isn't having fun the most basic definition of happiness?
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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Friday, September 24, 2004 - 12:20 pm
Great advice. I like that. Cute photo of your neice too Julie. It's Day 15 of potty training and huge strides have been made. Nate has not had an accident for 2 days, wakes up dry from naps, doesn't protest the potty and has told us a few times he had to go pee pee beforehand. He's even used the potty for BMs which is amazing!! The M&Ms are beginning to get phased out now. He doesn't ask for them anymore and seems to enjoy all the hugs and high-fives more than anything else. I'll keep my fingers crossed that we're well on our way now!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, September 24, 2004 - 1:57 pm
Did you see the Dr. Phil primetime show that had the one day toilet training? They had Vanessa Marcil/Brian Austin Green and their son as well as Holly Robinson (i think that's her name) and their son. The boys were both about 2 and they said it worked. In one day. Basically it is very simple. you get a baby doll that wets and then you have the kid teach the baby doll how to use the potty. When the baby doll pees in the potty, the baby dolls gets hugs, kisses and also the baby doll gets a phone call from somebody that the kid really likes (like Nemo). then the kid notices all the positive attention, etc... Seems too easy to me, but they swear it worked. Also, they said it was important to not force the kid on the potty or have any kind of pressure or negativity.
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Kimmo
Member
05-02-2003
| Friday, September 24, 2004 - 3:06 pm
Julie, I was wondering if that would work for Rowan, since he is now going to be 3 in December and only going potty when he wants to. I originally looked that up on the Dr. Phil site a few months ago, but it seemed too elaborate and labor-intensive. Then I wondered if he would really buy into it. I know he can go potty since he did it consistently for 2 weeks, and we had been on and off since May...I just never made it an issue that he had to go potty if he wanted to stay dry. I guess I should just try underpants and see what happens.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Friday, September 24, 2004 - 4:44 pm
You could try the doll thing. Maybe it does work. Sounds too fast/easy to me. With Ryan, I really didn't care. They say by the time a kid is in kindergarten, they are out of diapers. Which sounds goofy, but the point is that kids will pretty much potty train themselves by a certain age. Some moms don't want to change diapers after a certain age. I didn't care and I wasn't gonna pick this fight. I had to fight enough with him eating. Maybe he would have been trained earlier, but like I said, it was not a big deal to me. And I didn't want to pressure him or force him.
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Kimmo
Member
05-02-2003
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 10:24 am
Thanks, Julie. I was getting a little down on Friday thinking about how lazy I have been with toileting-- But I did not want to force it or make it a big party, either. With the Dr. Phil thing, I do like the doll part, but the "big potty party" and special phone call seemed geared for really young toddlers. I felt like we were really behind! This weekend we just stayed at home all weekend wearing no diapers and he went every time-- That seemed to be "it" as Teach related earlier. Now we'll just be doing that every night and weekend and then work up to wearing underpants. My only concern is that this morning, he woke up desperately yelling that he needed to go use the toilet-- He made it sound so life-or-death, I don't know where that desperate feeling came from. Maybe it suddenly clicked that if he is big enough to go potty, he shouldn't be in a crib? When we move to the new house (fingers crossed, mid-October) he'll have a bed and we can keep the potty chair in there for him at night. Thanks for sharing the details of Dylan's new bed, Danz! Everyone has such cute pictures...Nate has so much hair, I am still wondering if Rowan's will ever get thick like that. Both DH and I had lots of hair at that age, oh well. And the little niece-- Makes me think I can't wait to have a new baby!
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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 10:24 am
We saw that show, and also saw the Dr. Phil Train in 1 day process a year ago. I don't believe those 2 kids were trained in 1 day. There's no way. Perhaps a kid who's 3 or older it might be that simple, but the 1 kid was 22 months old. There's no way in my opinion.
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Kimmo
Member
05-02-2003
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 10:35 am
Lisa, I agree....Holly Robinson-Peete said on the show that "privacy was key" for their toddler, and that was totally unrelated to Dr. Phil's process. But I doubt a 3-year old would buy into a TV character calling on the phone or really profit from the big "potty party" for each tinkle-- Those things seemed really geared to young toddlers who had no idea about the value of using the potty, and like it was really to jump- start them into wanting to learn. If you don't want to start that early, it seems like there'd be no point in doing it that way.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 10:37 am
Kimmo, if you have a kid under 5, it is impossible to be lazy. The kid just won't let you!!! Take it at whatever rate works for you. If you want to train him this early, go ahead. Nothing wrong with it. But if you don't feel like attempting this feat, don't feel guilty. Nothing wrong with diapers on a 2 or 3 year old... Do what feels good for your family. Good luck to Rowan and Nate. They'll both be out of diapers before you know it. Then you'll be tackling printing, bike riding, cursive, math, etc. before you know it. Oh, and baby number two to toilet train!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 10:40 am
Did ya like how Dr. Phil suggested cutting the door in half. Yeah, right. Or how he suggested getting rid of 99.9% of that little girl's stuff? Don't you she'd feel like she was being punished? I think a little at a time would be good. I agree she should end up with losing 99% of her stuff, but over a longer period. Or tell her she just gets one room for her stuff. (she had like 3 or more rooms of stuff) Her mom was the one with the problem...
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Kimmo
Member
05-02-2003
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 11:02 am
Aw, I didn't even watch the whole special-- My parents called that night to tell us to watch the upcoming potty training segment (hint, hint)! So we just turned it on and off for that. Of course MIL also asked us if we watched it. 
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 12:34 pm
Why do they care? That actually ticks me off!
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Kimmo
Member
05-02-2003
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 12:56 pm
I don't know-- I think it is that they think Rowan is so "advanced" (not my words), that they are wondering why he isn't using the toilet yet. Or, they think if I knew what to do, I would have potty trained by now. I have explained that Rowan has been refusing to go even though he knows how. One of the grandparents even said one kid wasn't potty-trained until she was 4 and it was no big deal, so I don't know why it's an issue. Oh well... The "pressure" wouldn't bother me except DH has been saying, "Maybe we should do what my mom did" (basically force them on the toilet), which I know wouldn't work. He'd be upset about being forced to sit on the toilet, he wouldn't care whether or not it "worked". The last thing I want Rowan to be traumatized about is going to the bathroom! Thank goodness just not wearing pants worked (this weekend), at least that makes sense.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, September 27, 2004 - 1:50 pm
Boy, that is bad--forcing the kid on the toilet. Why would he even suggest that? Anyways, Rowan will do it when he is ready. Sounds like he's off to a good start.
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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 5:34 am
I agree that kids will likely want to use the toilet when they're ready, but I also think parents can help them get ready a bit quicker than if we just left it up to the child to decide. With Nate, we only did it now because we're expecting in 7 weeks and our winters are horrendous. But we didn't force him on the toilet, just gave him incentives and rewards, which by the way, he doesn't need anymore at all - (I really didn't like giving him M&Ms but they really worked!!!) The thing with Nate is if we asked him "wanna go potty?" it was an automatic "NO" as is most things these days, so we stopped asking him, and changed the words to "it's time to go potty", "show daddy how you use your potty". This worked way better. We've also taught him that we go potty first thing in the morning and before we go out, bath, etc. So now there's no persuading in the morning, he just will go willingly. It's been a process but only 2 1/2 weeks so I can't complain. But I swear for the first week I asked myself every minute of every day what the hell were we thinking, and only stuck to it because Neil was so certain we were making progress. 
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Kimmo
Member
05-02-2003
| Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 11:58 am
Lisa, I agree, I wouldn't leave it up to Rowan to decide-- We've been "setting the scene" since May and I probably should have done the "no pants" thing earlier. The two "Now I can pee anywhere" incidents in May/June scared me off! I didn't mean to imply that you were doing any "forcing". If I had a baby coming in 7 weeks I'd step it up, too! I'm glad there's another 4 months for us. If this is successful, then there is just enough time to regress!
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Enbwife
Member
08-14-2000
| Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 10:34 am
I didn't take it at all that you were implying we were "forcing" the issue Kimmo. Good luck with Rowan. I'm sure it will be fine. My sis is expecting twins in January and is starting now with my niece as well.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:06 am
How is your sis doing, Lisa? I've been wondering about her since she had some problems early on. When I was potty training Dakota, I remember talking to a group of women at work one day about how it seemed to be taking much longer than Caleb. He'd been so easy, just deciding he wasn't going to use diapers or pull ups anymore. One of the women related to us how she'd had her kids potty trained by the time they were 4-6 months old. We set there staring at her for a minute, and finally one of the ladies had to ask how, lol. She said by the time they were that old, she knew their schedules. She'd strip them down at the right times, run them into the bathroom and hold them on the toilet. I thought, dang, that's not potty training, it's parent training. LOL, I don't know why that story has always stuck with me. Hang in there guys! I know sometimes it can be frustrating for you as well as the little ones, but soon they will have it down pat and then they'll be locking you out of the bathroom, lol. Believe it or not, one of these days you will find yourselves missing this time in their lives.
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Maris
Member
03-28-2002
| Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 4:56 pm
I took this approach: I have never heard of a 5 year old in diapers.
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