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Eazyeast
Member
09-02-2004
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 12:24 am
On Monday my little Jessie started her 1st day of 2nd grade. She was already disappointed because she didnt get the teacher she wanted. Her new teacher is a man and new to school. I dont have a problem with her having a male teacher in elementary school as long as he can teach. When I picked her up I asked my normal questions on what she did, what she ate for lunch and breakfast and how she liked her new teacher. She said everything was fine and she liked him and that she didnt eat breakfast. That really threw me off that she didnt eat because I know what kind of appetite she has. BTW I pay for her to eat breakfast as school because last year they started having breakfast in the classroom instead of the cafeteria and I didnt want her to have to watch other kids eat. She is very sensitive and would probably cry. Back to the story. I asked her why she didnt eat and she became very hostile and then said she got in trouble for talking too much and the teacher wouldnt let her eat. Well at this point I cant believe what she is telling me. I tell myself not to get mad thinking about this situation and not to believe every story a seven year old tells me. I decide to go into school with her the next morning and talk with the teacher to find out exactly what happened. Tuesday comes and I do just that. I talk to the teacher and ask why she didnt eat, after all I had payed for her to eat. He told me that when class started he asked the students who ate breakfast and she didnot raise her hand. I went along with that reasoning and explained to him that my Jessie has a speech problem and it does affect her listening as well. She has been in the school speech therapy since Kindergarden. To be honest Im still feeling a bit upset. I understand that the teacher is on his first day at the school but you would think that he would have a little bit of a background on his students and the lunch envelope she gave him before class which clearly stated lunch and breakfast would have keyed him to the fact. I know this might sound a bit silly but to be honest that was probably the first meal my Jessie missed in her whole life and I can just imagine how she felt watching the other kids eat in front of her when I know she was hungry.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 9:06 am
Poor girl. Now I remember eating at school, and whoever paid ahead of time, the teacher had a list and knew who was going to get to eat a school lunch. I can't imagine a second grader going without breakfast. As much as little kids run and play. You need to go talk to the principal, kids can't go without eating.
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Escapee
Member
06-15-2004
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 9:06 am
BTW welcome to TVCH!!!
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Danas15146
Member
03-31-2004
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 10:22 am
I think that I would have a talk with the principal also. I can only speak for my school -but any child who is considered special needs (speech therapy, ESL, or physical disability) the teachers that they are assigned to are well aware of the situation. He did also have the envelope with your money in it and her name on it. I hope that the rest of Jessie's week is going better and that you can get this straightened out.
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Yuhuru
Member
09-27-2001
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 12:14 pm
If her special need is listed only as a speech issue, the teacher wouldn't know that she has a listening issue as well. I think that you should cut the teacher some slack. You've spoken with him. So now he is aware. You're also assuming that she didn't hear, and was too timid to mention to him that she's supposed to eat. Maybe she didn't want to eat. Based on what you wrote, it seems to me that your daughter sensed that you were not pleased that she hadn't eaten. So instead of letting you know that she shared some of the responsiblity for not eating, she made up a story to blame the teacher. You've spoken with the teacher. Have your spoken with your munchkin about her account of the events? I could be totally off base, but your intro leads me to believe that you're not pleased with her having a new, male teacher that she didn't want. This could be affected your view of the situation. Hopefully everything went smoothly this morning.
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Eazyeast
Member
09-02-2004
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 12:29 pm
Yuhuru, I agree with you and you are mostly right except for the part about not being pleased about a male teacher that she didnt want. I probably should have rephrased my intro so that it wasnt mis-leading and I see now how it could be. To be honest i feel Mr. Not Hisname will probably be the best teacher for Jessie because she needs someone who will not be nice and friendly all time and Im hoping that he does have a strict disipline code. Im sure he was very nervous on his first teaching job and couldnt quite think of everything he should have. The rest of Jessie's week has been fine and she has told me that she really like him and so do the rest of the kids. Escapee:Thanks for the welcome, I have been lurking here for a couple of years and have just never joined until now. There seems to be something interesting going on here everyday and I drop by the forums at least once every day.
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Kady
Member
07-30-2000
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 12:32 pm
He told me that when class started he asked the students who ate breakfast and she didnot raise her hand. If that was the way he asked the question...who ate breakfast...to me it sounds past tense as in already eaten. She may have just misunderstood the question and thought he meant who has already ate breakfast.
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Yuhuru
Member
09-27-2001
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 1:21 pm
Eazy, I'm glad it's working out. I'm also glad I had that part incorrect.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 1:51 pm
Welcome eazy - my dd is also going to 2nd grade, we're up here near Great America btw... I'm a substitute teacher, and it always amazes me how first year teachers try so hard to make a stand early with their class... BTW I wouldnt assume just because Mr Not hisname is male, doesnt mean he'll have more discipline - our 6th grade male teacher is so very laid back some people assume his class is so undisciplined, when quite the opposite imho!! Its hard being a parent and try and figure out the "rest of the story"... I have 2 older boys with speech and hearing issues, so I do understand from a practical btdt standpoint. Sometimes it makes a difference if you do take an active role, finding out, not assuming, sometimes, it just doesnt matter with some teachers. you dont want to go overboard and make your childs experience worse. My son now lol at how I get involved - and I have from Pre school thru to college, most of the time it makes little or no difference in the situation, it makes a huge difference in my son, and how he believes in me, he knows I'm there for him, you have to be your child's advocate. By starting a dialogue that is not accusatory, or demanding (like your post here!) it helps the principal get to know and trust you, as well as the teacher - most of the time depending on how big the school is the principal isnt in on day to day goings on in the classroom... I look and think your best bet for you daughter may be the speech teacher? Does she get pull out services? In our school we have a full time speech teacher that works with the kindergarten class, and then follows them in the different grades, she is a great friend to the kids... we also have special needs teachers that pull out kids for work (that would be for gifted programmin as well as needing more help in math and reading) she also gets to know the kids that have emotional needs too, and checks up on them. I think if there is anyway you can help your daughter find someone else in her school she can trust... my son used the nurse as an advocate in 4th grade come to think of it... that it gives her more power, so she doesnt feel helpless... Good Luck
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Sillycalimomma
Member
11-13-2003
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 5:57 pm
uh oh-first year teacher?Don't get me started! LOL-most of the members on the board here can probably remember my frustrations last school year with dd new teacher. My best advise-have patience:remember that teaching is a very hard job and try and help out if possible (and wanted) Don't be affraid to voice your concerns, but be aware of your approach. The best thing IMO is continue communicating with your daughter about her days and let her know that you care. Good luck to you-hope this school year goes well!
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Eazyeast
Member
09-02-2004
| Friday, September 03, 2004 - 10:47 pm
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and advice. I really appreciate it. Reader234: Im not really sure where Great America is. Im assuming northern Illinois. Jessie's school has only one speech therapist and she is only at the school 2 days per week. Unfortunatly the speech therapist has changed to another school and Jessie doesnt know it yet. Jessie's Kindergarden teacher and speech therapist were really the only people she could get close to at the school and they both helped her so much. Now neither is teaching at the school anymore. When Jessie started Kindergarden she was at the bottom of the class and it showed badly. Once her teacher recommended speech therapy and it started up she shot straight to the top of her class and has made me very proud. Last year during 1st grade all the 1st graders took some type of non-verbal testing and after it was over I got a letter from the gifted department at the local middle school that Jessie was identified as a gifted student. She makes me so proud but she deserves all the credit because of the extra hard work she has to put in because of her speech problem. I do have to admit that she was mad at me this summer because on the last day of school last year we visited the 2nd grade teacher to get some practice work for the summer and the teacher hooked me up with unused workbooks that kept her busy all summer.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Saturday, September 04, 2004 - 3:09 pm
Well, good for you - and great for DD!! I too have ds that were "gifted" but hard of hearing, so often clueless well meaning teachers tried to place them in the Learning disabled group - very frustrating... Yep, I'm up in northern IL... with a small school, and with a speech teacher there only 2 days a week, its tough, so your daughter is definately going thru changes, and think how hard change is for us adults... I just hope you are able to communicate with the school, mayhbe just a chat with the principal to see what kind of "day to day" helpis available. Most schools work on the "no child left behind" theory, but in practice its debatable... I would wonder what programs are available for 'gifted' students? And you have to be careful that the first year teacher isnt 'threatened'... or feels like he's being 'judged'... Bottom line, you are your daughters advocate, and you have to be there for her. No matter what. Never assume one way or the other, keep communication up... its just not easy!! But it is so worth it!! Oh, does the previous speech teacher or kindergarten teacher have any ideas for you? Sometimes if you can touch base with them and just tell them how important they were to your daughter, and you are wondering how you can help your daughter transition???
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Saturday, September 04, 2004 - 3:09 pm
oops dble post...
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Eazyeast
Member
09-02-2004
| Saturday, September 04, 2004 - 11:40 pm
Reader234: speaking of the kindergarden teacher gave me a laugh. At the end of the year my Jessie bought her teacher a 25 dollar gift certificate to Texas Roadhouse with her own money as a thank you for all the nice things her teacher did for her. Well her teacher sent a real nice thank you card and wrote her phone number down if she ever wanted to talk during the summer. Big Mistake. Jessie called her everyday of summer and sometimes would talk for 30 minutes. I always got a big kick out of that. LOL. As far as communicating with school. I have always done that and volunteer quite often. Instead of Jessie's class having a room mom they have always had a room dad. Im at the school quite a bit and volunteered for the Math Cadre which meets 2 times per month to discuss ideas to bring up math skills and grades. Im also a member of the PTA but cant make very many meetings due to work. BTW I would never make the 1st year teacher feel threatened or make him feel like he is being judged but I will come talk to him when Jessie is having some type of problem and talk as adults rather than me believing everything a 7 year olds says.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 6:05 am
I believe that, I'm just speaking from a different perspective, when you think you're just opening up the lines of communication, sometimes first year teachers have the lack of experience to realize just that, and have taken it the wrong way. And hopefully its just a moot point anyway, as time goes on everyone will get in a comfortable groove, and no more 'situations' come up... I had to lol at your daughter and the telephone - my daughters 2nd grade teacher last year (we do a fly up ceremony the last day of school the kids get to go to their next years classroom)well my daughter was handed a raw deal imho, and the teacher felt bad for her, and told her to email her this summer - and dd did every day ! DD is now in charge of taking pictures and making the video yearbook for the 2nd grade - and no they have never had that before!! Its fortunate for dd that this teacher does think outside the box, and does work very hard to find each child's needs, and interests. I also dont attend PTA meetings, very important business, but hard to manage with my schedule, so I also work within the building volunteering, and of course substituing. Subbing has given me a unique perspective, and apparently hit too close to home, as they have moved me to another building!! Since your dd teacher is new, you wont have anyone on staff to give you a perspective of his personality (I'll never forget the one year I had a new teacher - a friend of the principal, he was awful to me, no one believed me, and I survived, years later I returned to the school to find out that none of the staff liked him, he isolated himself and he was awful to some of the kids - the principal sat and talked to me, and in the end apologized to me for that!! You just never know, this was in the 70's, but in one of our buildings a teacher that has tenure, a 2nd grade teacher, is so autocratic that many of the kids end up with nightmares, one friends dd started wetting the bed, it was a horrible situation, with no resolution, she ended up pulling dd out and having to put her in a private school) You may not believe everything a 7yr old says (having a 7yr dd that 'lies' all the time so I understand that perspective she lies on little things to her older brothers btw!) but please, make sure she knows you are her advocate when it comes to school. I've found with my son with the hearing/speech problems, that it was a tremendous source of strength for him... One time my 16yr old ds was "suspended" for fighting. You can imagine how hard we came down on him. It happened on a Friday, so he suffered our consequences all weekend, but he let out one interesting tidbit... "why didnt you walk away?" his answer "I did". hmmmmm and like layers of an onion, there was a "rest of the story". Something he decided that he knew he was wrong, so he didnt try to whine, and defend himself to me... and yet, it turned out when I got the "whole" picture, I rushed to his defense... and left the principals, social worker, and gym teacher speechless... so either way, never assume. Its hard for them being in 2nd grade, and how scarry to have a big tall male as a teacher, day by day more trust is developed, but again, communication is the key!
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Danas15146
Member
03-31-2004
| Tuesday, September 07, 2004 - 4:07 pm
Our first day was today. This was Justin's first time taking the bus home from school. Transportation department said he was first stop coming home - and the school is only two blocks (if that) away. I waited at the stop for over 1/2 an hour in a total panic. Called the school, called my husband, called the transportation dept. Turns out they never put him on the schedule to come home so he was just driving around. He and one other child. At least Justin knew what to tell the bus driver when she asked where he was supposed to be dropped off. The other little boy told her to look for his mom's white car. All turned out fine -- but wasn't a good school day for me! Justin had a great first day of school. His class was the lucky locker winner (each class gets a prize bag in there locker on a different day), bought his first school lunch and had lots of fun. He said his day was great - but the bus ride was not. He is going to take the bus to school, but try walking home (with my mom waiting at the end of the road of course!).
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Tuesday, September 07, 2004 - 7:23 pm
How scarry for your son, but good for him, he kept his wits about him!! My son went to a hearing impaired school when he was 4, they would drop him off in the driveway, I got stuck in traffic, and they had to keep him on for the drivers next route, then take him to the police station - I had called and was told to go to the police station, it was not a good day!! I also have to say that I so appreciate that the buses in our district now have radios, so when a mom calls the school, the school calls the transportation center, and the center finds the bus, and the info is all relayed back to us moms!!
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Danas15146
Member
03-31-2004
| Wednesday, September 08, 2004 - 5:10 am
Reader - we have that also. I was on hold with the school while they were calling the garage to get ahold of the bus driver. Right when she pulled up her radio was beeping with them looking for Justin. The other little boy - they just took him back to the school and tracked his mom down to come get him - turned out he got on the wrong bus.
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Reiki
Member
08-12-2000
| Wednesday, September 08, 2004 - 11:54 am
Today was our districts opening day of school. We often say we wish we could beam the children to and from school as transportation is always one of the major problems we deal with. Late buses, no show buses, children transported to the wrong school, children transported to the wrong drop off, buses never set up at for some reason. 80% of the calls we handled today were transportation related. Just keep the lines of communication open and be as patient as possible. Good luck to everyone on a new school year!
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, September 08, 2004 - 12:27 pm
And if it's the same at other schools at ours, its not just dealing with the bus problems but the parents picking their kids up. People stop in the middle of the street to wait for their kids, park in the fire lane, the bus lane, pull out in front of each other, and speed down the street like there's not a child in site. I've started leaving 20 minutes earlier just to avoid the mad rush at pick up time and usually take my time getting out of the school to avoid them all leaving at the same time. I took Dakota's bus riding classmates out twice one week and helped them get on the right buses and those poor kids were getting mowed down by parents who were in a rush to get out. I only had six kids to keep track of but it was a nightmare.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Wednesday, September 08, 2004 - 1:35 pm
hmmm war, that sounds like a disaster in the making, have you and other parents thoughtfully asked the principal or superintendent to review this - it is a safety issue, and if the school has a clever motto, insert that in the discussion!! Right now we have our recess ladies (paid position) help with the pick ups/drop offs, as well as one teacher - then we also have teachers and aides that are paid to do duty to help the kids on the buses - Our school tries different pick up/drop off patterns, cars get in a circle, kids line up at the sidewalk and are walked to cars... it seems insane, but at least we try and control the parents dashing in and out...
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Djgirl
Member
07-17-2002
| Wednesday, September 08, 2004 - 1:41 pm
I have a cute story from my childhood regarding bus rides. We lived out in the country but I was one of the first to be dropped off the bus on the way home. We lived on a dirt road that was about a kilometre long. We were near the far end, but my mom was a stay at home mom and would come to the corner to pick me up after school. One day, I was in kindergarten and the bus dropped me off, but my mom was running behind. She was doing something at home and didn't realize the time. There is a campground just down the road a little with a payphone. My mom said that she was working away in the house and the phone rang. When she picked it up, she heard the operator asking if she would accept a collect call from DjGirl. She was mortified that she'd forgotten about me, and mystified! She couldn't believe that I had remembered our number, and even knew how to make a collect call. She bundled up my brother and hopped in the car and picked me up at the campground.
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Wargod
Moderator
07-16-2001
| Wednesday, September 08, 2004 - 1:52 pm
Oh, they're working on it. Where the buses park, there are 3 gates. They've now made the first two into bus gates only and the third for parents and walkers. Instead of walking straight down the path to the classes, you now go around the backside of the classes and come out in front of them. That takes care of the kids getting confused and getting on the wrong bus and them getting run down. We have two duty aide's who pick up the kinder bus riders from class, walk them out, and actually walk them onto the buses. Then they organize the rest of the bus riders into four lines for the four different buses and get them on, all the while running out to tell people they can't park in the fire lane or bus lane. We also have TWO! pickup areas where parents just pull up and have their kids run out and get in the car. Problem is that all of the first grade classes are on the backside of the school, closest to the bus area. School policy is that 1st graders (along with kindergarteners) are not allowed to be dismissed on their own. Either a parent has to pick them up from class and the teacher walks the bus kids over when the rest of the kids are gone. It wouldn't be half so bad if the parents who didn't have kinders and 1st graders went to one of the other pick up areas unfortunately this one is the one that leads to the two streets out of the neighborhood so everyone parks over there to get out easier.
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