Author |
Message |
Amykat
Member
07-24-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:22 pm
Karuuna, that one got me. I know how I feel after reading what you wrote. I can only begin to imagine how you feel.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:24 pm
i can understand what you are saying amykat but i was talking about something a bit different. your description of how people use the "n" word is not what i meant by an offensive ethnic comment and it is my fault that i was not clear. first of all you are speaking of an area with two distinct groups and i would expect there could be polarization under those circumstance. i am very sensitive to the uniqueness of some areas like where i have lived in nj because i have lived in other places where there was NO diversity. i can literally walk around the town my folks live in and find, without exaggeration, at least 25 distinctly different ethnic groups. and it is not unusual to hear the s word or the d word or the p word. it is how they are said that is important. and a distinction that is lost in today's politically correct world. one man's racial slur is another's innocent slang. and context is king. you can use the word as slang and it is recognized as such. or you can use it as a slur in which case you are right. you would not make it out of the walmart.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:30 pm
Mame, I certainly agree that those who risked their own lives have my greatest admiration. But honestly, I can't fault those who did what they had to in order to survive either. And others who did what they had to in order to protect their children. I think of my parents as little children, fleeing across thousands of miles of eastern Europe in wagons with whatever they could grab as they fled their homes. And again, even as they told those stories, I couldn't quite grasp it until I saw tv reports of families fleeing Bosnia, across the mountains on foot, and the haunting video of a little girl, face covered in dirt, dragging a little doll behind her - her only belonging. Her little face was just blank, her eyes so empty. And I read that over half of these children still suffer from PTSD as adults. I think we all would like to believe that in such circumstances we would do the right thing. I think none of us really know unless we've been faced with it. Horrorific situations have a way of disabling us, freezing us into shock and unable to think, act or comprehend them. In fact, our own biology often triggers such inaction, by flooding us with endogenous opioids, drugging us into a stupor like state when faced with what appears to us as an inescapable nightmare.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:32 pm
oh and just as a side note i do not personally use ethnic slang unless i am using it as a slur and i am mad about something. and i am wrong to do it. and i am human and i am okay with being human, not a saint. nor am i afraid to try to remove the slang from the language of my friends. one of my favorites is to inquiry when someone uses the term "colored people" is to ask what color they are. it is usually older people that use that phrase and by calling them out on it i am not disrespecting or correcting them. i am simply trying to make them aware of their own thought process and how silly they sound. if i thought they were trying to be mean i wouldnt likely say anything. nor continue to associate with them. i am not trying to stray from the topic of adam. i am just saying i have spent a lot of time in the same environment he has and i do not believe he is mean. in fact i believe he is one of the kinder hearted contestants i have ever seen on this show.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:34 pm
Frankly I'd probably become so disheartened by any horrific turn of events, that I'd probably kill myself, and save the bad guys the trouble.
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Amykat
Member
07-24-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:34 pm
Actually, I meant if I also used the word as slang. No slur. It would not be taken as anything other than a slur. And that is because of the color of my skin. No other reason.
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Webchiq
Member
07-11-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:37 pm
I've been to NY and NJ and I've seen what you're describing, but that is very rare. If those same terms were used, even claimed as slang, in most other areas of this country, by a clearly white person, it would not be okay.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:39 pm
exactly.. thank you webchiq.. i am the worst at expressing myself in writing sometimes.
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Amykat
Member
07-24-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:39 pm
Gidget...I had to chuckle...my response to anyone who says "colored people" is to put an innocent look on my face and say "Did someone use crayons on them?" That generally brings a bewildered look and then I gently explain what I mean. I live in the south. You are right, it's always older people around here who say that.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:41 pm
oh and this is not just about color... every single nationality has some slang/slur attached to it. when i first moved to nj i was like a kid that spoke another language. i had never even heard 99% of the words.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:42 pm
amy, you do what you can. i wish we all lived together in peace and harmony but the world at hand makes me wonder if that is even possible.
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Amykat
Member
07-24-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:42 pm
Oh no, I think you explained yourself well. I just was going sideways with it! LOL!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:42 pm
Thx Chewi, I knows ya luv me! xox
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Amykat
Member
07-24-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:43 pm
EXACTLY!!!!!!
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:45 pm
(((( Mame )))) Me too. Unless I had to protect my kiddo. Then I'd be a mountain lion mama!
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Amykat
Member
07-24-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 12:52 pm
Well, I popped over to the live feed discussion thread and it seems Ryan has made a remark about the French. I think I need to step away from BB for a while. Love to you all and I really thank everyone for this discussion!
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Nyheat
Member
08-09-2006
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 1:04 pm
I can't speak to what Adam said, because I can understand people being upset. I also don't think that was his intention. He was telling a story, and in the language that he uses everyday, which can be pretty rough. Still, he's on Big Brother, and people will see his words, so you'd think he'd be aware of that. I did spend time in Israel on a kibbutz. While I was there, I went to see Schindler's List with a kibbitznik (the word has Russian derivative), who was of Iraqi Jewish descent. He kept making little jokes throughout the film and plying me with soft drinks and popcorn. Israelis live with the memory of the Holocaust, but they turn to laughter because living in the moment, and enjoying life, is the point of it all. Sometimes laughing about atrocities is the way to deal with the enormity of an issue. I also tend to make jokes when talking about my dad being in a mental institution (the loony bin, the nut hatch, the crazy house, fruit of the loom) because it takes the edge off and makes people (and me) more comfortable. I don't want people to feel bad about it and to keep things relatively light.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 1:07 pm
that was interesting nyheat... i wonder if that is where they got the episode of seinfeld when everyone is on his case because he was making out with his date at schindler's list.
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 1:18 pm
(((NYH))) When all is said and done, I have to admit, that this conversation has ultimately brought most of us TVCHers CLOSER together and that's always a good thing, right? Earlier today I was feeling isolated and (surprisingly) defensive about this situation, but so many of you have gone out of your way to be so kind and understanding. Much thanks!
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Nyheat
Member
08-09-2006
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 1:19 pm
I think it's a "guy on the make" thing. The world could be ending and some guys would still try to be gettin' some! Hey, gotta repopulate the earth somehow! I checked the root of kibbutznik--it's actually orginates from Yiddish, which I think is mix of Hebrew and German. My bad! Mame, glad to see you are feeling better! 
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 1:20 pm
ETA, I tend to use self-depricating humour - usually about my being overweight. A few years ago I went shopping with another chubby gal, and we were in a large-gal's clothing shop and I was on a silly joke roll, and she was offended by everything that came out of my mouth. I said I can either laff or cry about having to shop here. I'd rather laff, thank u very much! Bring on the muu-muus! Mooooooooo! (See I can put myself down so easily, almost too easily. I don't need any help in that dept. LOL)
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Lajonesin
Member
03-22-2008
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 5:07 pm
I think the point is that in the privacy of a conversation between friends, you can feel comfortable enough to say anything because you assume the person knows your heart best. Poking fun at yourself with a friend for being chubby is a great example. However, if someone else had a transcript of the convo it might appear bigotted. I don't think Adam is black-hearted. He should be given the benefit of the doubt since we aren't his friend personally and shouldn't judge his remarks out of context since we are eavesdropping in effect. I think he's just talking with a friend about a horrific life event he grew up hearing and he meant no disrespect. Of all people, he can understand the plight of Jewish people having lived with his grandfather's story. He's just 'Baller' and needs to learn some tact at the least.
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Steeltoe
Member
05-19-2007
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 5:23 pm
Okay, back to the house. I think that Adam needs to finally put Sheila in her place and tell her that if it is a tie she better keep Natalie. Sheila has been trying to pressure Adam the entire time in the house...I just wish he would tell her that it is in their, not just her, best interest to stick with the previous plan.
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 5:29 pm
I agree, Steeltoe That would be wonderful!
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Peepinagain
Member
07-23-2005
| Monday, April 14, 2008 - 6:26 pm
I think I have to relisten to what Adam said. I thought he said 'flinging jews' into a pit, meaning their dead bodies after they were gassed.
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