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What Life Lessons is Dick Teaching Hi...

The TVClubHouse: Big Brother 8 ARCHIVES: Big Brother 8 - Part 6: What Life Lessons is Dick Teaching His Daughter? users admin

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Archive through August 17, 2007Kmjm25 08-17-07  12:17 pm
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Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Friday, August 17, 2007 - 12:20 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
I think they're playing a game!!!!

Kmjm
Member

05-19-2002

Friday, August 17, 2007 - 12:32 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kmjm a private message Print Post    
I do not agree that any and all behaviour is justified by the fact that it is a game. Some things are going too far, even in the BB house. Dick is teaching Dani that anything goes if it benefits you personally. Others have crossed the line too, but Dick has done so as his main strategy in the game and he and Dani have even plotted such behaviour together.

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Friday, August 17, 2007 - 12:34 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
Dani has already learned her lessons...she well past being an impressional adolescent.

Mocha
Member

08-12-2001

Friday, August 17, 2007 - 12:44 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mocha a private message Print Post    
Learning does not stop just because you are past puberty.

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Friday, August 17, 2007 - 12:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
You're right Mocha it doesn't...and with that I'm going back to my room :-)

Tre34
Member

08-17-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 8:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tre34 a private message Print Post    
Dick is reinforcing the following lessons to his children in the BB game:

1. There are no limits;
2. Others must let you have your way no matter who gets hurt;
3. Speak to others using foul language;
4. Accept others when they speak to you with foul language (as seen when Nick emulate Dick's language);
5. Whinning is a good thing;
6. Be anti-social and only socialize with those you like or can use;
7. Speak ill of everyone and lie to their faces about how you have never done anything wrong;
8. Family is only important as long as you can use them to further your personal causes;
9. Never forgive and never forget;
10. For his daughter - you will always need a man and all women are jealous of you.

Ambi
Member

08-11-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 8:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ambi a private message Print Post    
What's on Dick's Myspace?

Toolhound
Member

06-22-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 8:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Toolhound a private message Print Post    
This is a game, not school , not family conselling, and not Father knows best. Just a game.

Boberg
Member

10-04-2002

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 8:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Boberg a private message Print Post    
True Toolhound...BUT how you compose yourself in front of your children is always a life lesson.

Smokey
Member

07-08-2003

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 8:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Smokey a private message Print Post    
She'll learn exactly what she needs to learn to become the person she's meant to be.

I certainly don't think we can judge something like this.

The father of my children did many things that weren't the norm. I used to worry about it when they were young, but have changed my mind.

They are far more adaptable than most young people their ages because of what they've had to adjust to with their father.

Danielle will do the same.

I feel Dick tries very, very hard to express his love to her and she rejects it. We don't know what went on in their private lives, but this is what I've seen on the feeds. He seems willing to do anything for her and she seems to expect it.

Castleexplorer
Member

08-10-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 8:59 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Castleexplorer a private message Print Post    
Great post Smokey. I agree 100%.

Skydiver6
Member

07-21-2006

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:07 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Skydiver6 a private message Print Post    
Kids learn a LOT from games! Playing games is one of the best teaching tools for kids. EVERYTHING in life is part of teaching.

I'm into dog training and one of the biggest problems I see is owners who think as long as they work on things during training sessions that the dog will do great. What they need to understand that all day, every day, their dog is learning.

Messalina
Member

06-19-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:12 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Messalina a private message Print Post    
Smokey: He seems willing to do anything for her and she seems to expect it.

I don't doubt for one minute that ED loves his daughter. As for his willingness to do anything for her...I do have doubts.

He appears, to me, to be unwilling to do the single most important thing in parenting and that is: Set A Good Example

Castleexplorer
Member

08-10-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Castleexplorer a private message Print Post    
It's too late for him to set a good example. He isn't all good and he isn't all bad. It seems that a lot of people want to paint him black or white.

Dani is who she is by now. She will learn more as she gets older, like what is and isn't acceptable in the workplace, etc., She might choose to ignore what she's learned, too. Some people just keep banging their heads into a brick wall until they figure what they're doing is not working any more. Then hopefully they'll choose a different/better way of doing things and move on. Of course, there are some people who appear to like pain and continue to bang their heads into a brick wall until they die.

Toolhound
Member

06-22-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Toolhound a private message Print Post    
My Dad always said "Do as I say not as I do" He was an alcoholic that chased women his whole life. I do not drink and have been married to the same woman for 38 years. You don't have to be like your parents. I know many other people who are not like their parents. Being like your parents is an easy way out. I don't think Daniel will be like Dick.

Messalina
Member

06-19-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:25 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Messalina a private message Print Post    
Castle, I agree with 99.99999% of what you are saying.

But it seems to me if Dick wants to mend his relationship with his daughter he might give a little more thought to how he behaves so that she will look at him with pride and think she's got the greatest Dad in the world. Instead, she seems to have an expression of utter distaste when he goes off into one of his tirades.

She apparently enjoys that he can help her get farther in the game but on a personal level she must be cringing inside.

Nyheat
Member

08-09-2006

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Nyheat a private message Print Post    
Hey Ambi--What I didn't like on Dick's mySpace in particular was his rant against women. He sounds like a lunatic with arrested development. Since I've seem more of him on the live feeds I actually think he is more mature than his mySpace tirades. His love for his daughter is apparent and I just wish he thought it was as "cool" to represent himself on mySpace as someone who loves his daughter and respects women.

Nyheat
Member

08-09-2006

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Nyheat a private message Print Post    
Adding that since Vincent posted Dick's HOH blog, it does show the side of Dick that I wish he would exhibit more often--that he loves Daniele and Vincent and would do anything for them. That is more recent than the "all women are crazy" rant. Please take that off there. What is even worse is women going on there and saying "oh I completely agree! But I'M not like that!" What a load of crap.

Messalina
Member

06-19-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 9:57 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Messalina a private message Print Post    
Toolhouse - "I do not drink and have been married to the same woman for 38 years. You don't have to be like your parents."

Good for you. It's seems likely you had someone in your life who helped guide you in a positive way.

Sure, setting a good example is not foolproof. I've known parents who seemed totally wonderful and their kids turned out to be horrific messes.

But it is a pretty basic truism. Set a good example for your children and if it works the gates of heaven will open up. If it doesn't, then at least you won't reproach yourself for having done a bad job of it.

Messalina
Member

06-19-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 10:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Messalina a private message Print Post    
I've been wanting to say something but I don't know which thread it should go in and so I'll put it here.

I don't post often and when I do it is almost always to say something negative about Dick. I don't like him and I make no secret about it.

However, there is one thing I'm going to be 100% on his side about. If he ever finds out what Eric has said about him and Daniele, I hope ED will take Eric apart both verbally and physically. I'm ordinarily a non-violent person but if Dick takes Eric's head off I'll be cheering him along.

Just thought I'd put that on the record before it happens. Dick will find out eventually and it won't be pretty.

To stay on topic, this is a life lesson Daniele will be forced to endure and I hope, if it happens, she will be able to see that Dick will be there for her during a difficult time.

Missy2
Member

07-31-2001

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 10:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Missy2 a private message Print Post    
She's an adult - and this is a game. It's all good.

Dbald
Member

08-04-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 10:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dbald a private message Print Post    
At some point our children are responsible for their own actions & cannot blame their parents for doing things. I tell mine...you don't like something that I do...don't do it. Its as simple as that. I can see the sparkle in Dick's eyes when he speaks about her, you can hear him choke up whenever she shows any kind of, for lack of a better word, love towards him. Seriously, she is 20 years old, 2 years ago, she from what I have picked up on different boards, stood up to him and he let her know he was her father and she would treat him with respect and from experience and viewing teenage actions & attitudes she probably thought to herself, "oh, ok, think you can still tell me what to do well I'm an adult & we'll see how you feel after I ignore you for a while" & then it probably got away from her, days led to weeks then to months & years, others got involved & something that was probably small escalated to a separation between the two. Yes, he is bending over backwards for her and she is totally taking everything that he is doing, but from what I have been seeing lately...she is willingly accepting it & he isn't having to force his desire & need to show her how much he loves her & that she is more important to him than himself. IMO

Personally...I think CBS was out of line on this one...Dustin/Joe, Jessica/Carol, that was trivial crap...Dick & Dani is real life & whether or not they knew ahead of time...who was the brainiac at CBS who looked at this scenario & said "oh yeah, these two are going in that house". It is great tv, but it was just wrong. Again, IMO

Smokey
Member

07-08-2003

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 11:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Smokey a private message Print Post    
I don't doubt for one minute that ED loves his daughter. As for his willingness to do anything for her...I do have doubts.

He appears, to me, to be unwilling to do the single most important thing in parenting and that is: Set A Good Example


Messalina, now we are getting into changing the parent for the children. Dick is who he is. I don't see him changing who he is to please his daughter. Nor should he. I am not excusing his behavior, either. It is what it is, good and bad. It's obvious he loves his kids, which is far more than many kids ever get.

Not all parents are text book perfect or fit into a certain mold. My point is, the children will learn what they need to learn from each parent in order to become who they are meant to be.

I could go on about my own personal experiences, but won't. All I know is I've learned that all experiences in my life are part of the tapestry of who I am.

Same with Danielle.

I just don't get how we think we can judge.

Dbald
Member

08-04-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 11:16 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dbald a private message Print Post    
Bravo Smokey Bravo!!!

A year ago I had not spoken to several close members of both mine & my husband's families because of their disagreement with a personal medical decision I had made. One morning I woke up and said to myself "why". I called every single one of them and said I won't discuss the past situation, I will not give nor will I receive any explanations, I just want you to know that I love you & I miss you in my life & I recognize that we are all different people with different feelings and opinions and I may not agree with you but it is small compared to not having you in my life anymore. Sure we still disagree but we move on and everyone is traveling to my house to December for the holidays and a farewell visit with my nephew before he is deployed. And, in my heart, I know joy.

So, Smokey, your are right, I am guilty of it myself, but judging others is like a disease to a relationship

Messalina
Member

06-19-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 11:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Messalina a private message Print Post    
Well put, Smokey. You've made a very reasonable argument and I will give you the winning points in this particular discussion.

I suppose my assumption (erronously maybe) is that Dick wants to go back in time and try to start parenting as though Dani was still a child. It's far too late for that. As you say, he is who he is.

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 11:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
I don't think Dick should change to please his daughter. I think he should change because it will be better for both of them. He wants a good relationship with Dani, and that's great. But the way he goes about it is standing in the way. As Messalina says, he is trying to parent her as if she is still a child. He needs to be her dad, but also see that she is an adult and treat her respectfully as an adult.

So, yeah, I think he needs to change in order to achieve his own goals. What he is doing now is not working for his own desires.

Smokey
Member

07-08-2003

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 11:33 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Smokey a private message Print Post    
I've had to swallow a lot of crow as far as holding onto my own ego-beliefs in regards to people in my life. Especially the father of my children. I've seen they have learned a great deal from him despite his parenting being not how I would have designed it to be. Sometimes learning from what seems to be negative behavior, is what we need.

Just my .50 cents worth. :-)

What555456
Member

06-14-2005

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 1:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send What555456 a private message Print Post    
I can't count the number of men I have met in my life who have rejected and ignored their children as the children were growing up and then once the work and expense is done -- when the kid becomes an adult -- suddenly become all emotional and concerned and want to be the father they never were.

It is always someone else's fault, never theirs, even as they admit they have "some responsibility", they lay the greater fault on others, just like Dick has/is doing.

And inevitably these men think they have some right to all the love and benefits of fatherhood because they provided the sperm 20 years earlier and now are being so good to their child whom they claim to love (and claim they always have loved) so much.

Dick is just another one of these men -- only he wants to use mending the relationship he earlier destroyed to get his 15 minutes of fame on TV.

If he really wanted to resolve things, he would not have done so here. This is just another way for him to get the attention he wants without any real concern for the damage it might cause Dani.

Swannanoa
Member

07-09-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 1:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Swannanoa a private message Print Post    
As a parent, I see how much love Dick has for his daughter. I also notice how she plays with that love--only returning it when she wants to and cutting him off when she wants to. That's pretty sad.

For me, we raised our children to make their choices and if they were the wrong choices, they would have to accept the consequences. We raised them to treat ALL people with respect and dignity, but that doesn't mean you have to like everyone or that everyone has to like you. As a parent, it was always important for us to love our children unconditionally through the good, the bad, and sometimes, the downright ugly. I am proud to know that my children are not ashamed of me and that family means more to them than anything else. I can also see that my DH and I have made an impression on our oldest who has children of his own.

Life lessons in the BB house? It isn't reality so what life lessons does one expect Dick to teach Dani? She's an adult. She makes her choices. She also shouldn't be held accountable for the choices and/or actions that her father makes/does. It's that simple and that complex.

Mac
Member

07-08-2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 1:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mac a private message Print Post    
I am new this year on these boards and really do not post much, but, after reading all the speculations about D/D's relationship, past and present, I have to say that I am confused as to what BB is all about. Is BB becoming a Dr. Phil show? I do feel sorry for Danielle and her father and hope that after the show they reconcile their differences. I am not a fan of either one, plus I am getting very tired of all the airtime given to the two. CBS needs to get on with the game. The D/D show needs to stop. I do agree that ED is not setting a good example for his daughter, but this isn't about good or bad parenting. I think he should be evicted soon so we can see how the other houseguests compete for the money. At this point in the game I would like to see Zach win. I haven't been a fan of his and think he is weird at times, but he hasn't really hurt anyone, and is somewhat considered a nobody. He has lasted longer than I thought he would. He should at least make it to final two. I don't think he is as dumb as he acts. Boring, yes, but I think his personality is coming out more and more; talks alot without really saying anything, but I think he is just trying to belong. I don't want to sound heartless about ED and Dani, but I've been there, and know how hard it is to grow up without a father/mother. I grew up in foster homes (since age 3) and can relate to bad and good parenting from all the foster parents I encountered in my life. I just don't think that D/D''s relationship belongs on BB. Anyway I think I have said enough on this post, and hope you all can see where I'm coming from. Thanks for listening (reading). MAC

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Saturday, August 18, 2007 - 1:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
One of the things that makes a show like BB entertaining and interesting like nothing else we ever see on TV is our ability to watch these people so much. It may not be 24/7 as CBS advertises but we get to see these people more than anyone else on TV.

So we think we know them and to a certain degree we do know them. And we get emotionally invested. And we identify with them and equate them to people we have known in our lives and to our own experiences.

I don't know Dick personally. I have observed him for a large part of the summer. I can make some sort of assessment based on what I have seen, however, I can not read his mind. Even more so, I do not know enough about his past to assess what motivated him to do what he did back then.

He appears to care about his daughter now. He may not be doing the right things (in my estimation) but he does appear to care. He can not do anything to make up for the past but he can go forward.

Tobor7
Member

07-19-2002

Sunday, August 19, 2007 - 8:24 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tobor7 a private message Print Post    
The joy of doing something with the same goal in mind.

A rare thing for a father and daughter.