Author |
Message |
Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 10:59 am
Dick is 44 years old. It's really not easy to teach an old dog new tricks. Maybe you should work with Jen then? But realizing that the bully needs a "bit" of work too is not of issue?
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:05 am
Maybe you should work with Jen then? Jen started her bullying day one with her comments about the "old guy touching her"..you don't have to be loud and obnoxious to be a bully.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:06 am
That's not bullying. Stupid and immature, maybe. But that is NOT bullying.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:08 am
bul·ly1 1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people. from Dictionary.com
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:09 am
I've helped develop anti-bully programs also, but I've never seen one that focuses solely on the victims. We do teach kids to walk away and report, and defuse if possible. We also teach them to stick up to each other. But we also work extensively with the very damaged children who bully, in fact, very extensively. There are reasons for their behavior, and they deserve our care, attention and education also. We also are very clear to never *blame* victims for being victims. I just can't even imagine that.
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:12 am
Oh really...trying to get the rest of the house to think the man is so gross that you don't want him to touch you, isn't bullying? Whenever you make it your job to try and ostricize another through personal attack, is bullying. You don't have to yell, you don't have to swear, you just have to round up your cohorts to believe what you said is true, so they will taunt as well. I hope your "strict bullying policy" covers the covert bully as well, or someone is being bullied that you may have overlooked.
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Cndeariso
Member
06-28-2004
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:13 am
lol, 44 is not old by a long shot in my book. copied from the live feed transcripts: Nick says yeah but we signed these waivers and anyone can say anything. and a little bit later Danielle stops Dick in his tracks, so anyone else could do it if they wanted: Dick says Jen is a piece of shit as a human being. Daniele says who? Jen. Oh I thought you were talking about Kail. Daniele says I don't need to hear this and Dick stops.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:15 am
She didn't "round up her cohorts". 44 is old compared to a 23 year old.
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Flyincows
Member
07-17-2005
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:19 am
I would like to have seen what kind of reaction ED (and his defenders here) would have if Jen had dumped iced tea on Danielle.
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Reader234
Member
08-13-2000
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:20 am
I'm juzt in zhock! Dick'z behaviour iz being excuzed az "prank" behavor in the confinez of "game"... OK, what would happen if Jen took and did the zame thing to Dick? Zhe cant! BEYOND belief! (my ssssssssssssssssss key will not work correctly! Very annoying - I apologize in advance!)
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:20 am
He admits it's verbal abuse. In the first minute. http://youtube.com/watch?v=yl7EWNoIXic
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Rubyroo77
Member
08-13-2005
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:21 am
Good posts Jen! LOL Reader- I was wondering why you were writing like that!
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:21 am
I've helped develop anti-bully programs also, but I've never seen one that focuses solely on the victims. I didn't say our program solely focused on the victims, but it is a very important part of the program. Punishment for the bullies behavior has not proven to be a way to stop it. We work with the family dynamics which produce a bully as well as the family dynamics which produce a victim. It's easy to say walk away and tell someone, but once a kid gets out of elementary school that is sometimes the worst advice. At some point there needs to be a confrontation. We provide a safe place to have these confrontations. They have both chosen to play this game their own way, it is theirs to win or lose. All the name calling and headaches created by their behavior on this board is not going to change who they are or how they play.
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:23 am
She didn't "round up her cohorts". Who do you think those comments were meant for? In that house the other hgs are her peers, and if she can get them to side with her they become her cohorts. He stopped it and started bad mouthing her right away..She didn't have a chance to complete her task.
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Yoda
Member
08-11-2005
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:23 am
The whole house yelled at Jen when she told Amber she'd put someone close to her up if she used the veto (when Dani and ED were on the block) so I'm sure if Jen poured tea on Ed they would have had her head.
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Snee
Member
06-26-2001
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:25 am
karuuna, i agree with one of your earlier posts. i, too, think that the bb psychologists would be quite concerned. dick crossed a pretty significant line when he physically interfered with jen. that's scary to me despite the fact that she was not physically harmed.
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Guinevere
Member
03-15-2001
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:26 am
Did Jen say anything about not wanting "the old guy" to touch her? I thought that was in the food comp, and she said she didn't want Dick to touch her. It seems that Jen has issues with Dick's smoking - she's mentioned it a few times. So I took that as possibly the issue - she was grossed out by his smell (I can't stand the smell of cigs on a person, so I sympathized).
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:28 am
One phrase from childhood wisdom keeps crossing my mind as I read this thread and others....two wrongs don't make a right. Was Dick right in his behavior? Absolutely not. But all of a sudden that seems to flip everyone's opinion on Jen. Why? Because she is less wrong? Because she is wrong in other ways? Sorry I don't get this. Here's my take overall; They are all in all the sorriest bunch of HG I can recall. I can count the interesting conversations on one hand. All of them regularly lie, backstab, speak badly against and actively plot against those in their alliance. Jess has been nicer since Carol left, but I haven't forgotten how nasty she was for no reason that first long week. So to me to let everyone else off the hook for Dick's bad behavior is just as wrong as overlooking his BS. They are ALL wrong IMHO. And I'm not going to villify Dick for being wrong in a house where not one person is behaving like a nice, kind, decent, moral adult!
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Yoda
Member
08-11-2005
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:28 am
I sympathized with that too Guinevere, I'm allergic to smoke and have a hard time around smokers.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:28 am
She did not "round up cohorts". He on the other hand has said that everyone in the house hates her, you're not here because others like you, etc. She is not the bully. Please.
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Sanfranjoshfan
Member
09-17-2000
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:30 am
Dick is not innocent. He abuses Jen. Millions of people have seen it. As I understand it, Dick has been warned by BB in the DR....TWICE. Jen has not. Unfortunately, it looks like Jen will have to suffer a black eye or bruises around her throat before BB will finally decide step and do something.
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Bbdi
Member
09-01-2006
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:33 am
{{{SJF}}} I can tell this means a lot to you. I just wanted you to know it does to me too.
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Angelicfairies2
Member
07-19-2004
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:34 am
No she's not a bully, Jen! But she does bait him on, she follows him around etc.. You have your opinion and others have theirs. I don't think he'd physically harm her and pouring tea on someone is so insignificant. I agree the verbal abuse has gone too far but I think both he and Jen handle it in different ways. She is not an innocent victim. She has just as much fault. If this was two women we wouldn't be having these heated discussions but because a 44 year old man is yelling at a 23 year old women everyone is freaking out. <55>
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Angelicfairies2
Member
07-19-2004
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:35 am
Sanfran, you are taking that way to far saying she will need to suffer a black eye. Your comment is crossing the line on this board. I HIGHLY doubt it would ever come to that!
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Sanfranjoshfan
Member
09-17-2000
| Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:36 am
There is no need to "vilify" someone who abuses women like Dick does. It's a given that he's not the hero.
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