Author |
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Sanfranjoshfan
Member
09-17-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:33 pm
I know there has been a lot of discussion about how Dick has behaved in the past....and how his past relationship with Dani may or may not have been abusive. I don't really see his past as an issue. Some think he was abusive to Dani, others say "we don't know that". I agree....we don't know how he was with Dani in the past. However, we DO know how he is NOW while in the house. He may never actually "**** Jen in the *** until she bleeds", but the very fact that he SAYS that is, by definition, VERBAL ABUSE. The fact is, in the BB house, Dick is extremely and pathologically verbally abusive. It's unacceptable and I feel sad that Dani is in that house with him. She hasn't looked secure or content since she she saw him walk into the room her first day. She knows better than all of us that at any moment, Dick can walk into her room, intrude on her emotional state and go on a verbal rampage and then blame her for not wanting to participate in his cruel venting.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:37 pm
I respectfully disagree. Verbal abuse requires at least another participant. Every single person can either get up and walk away, or tell Dick that they don't want to talk or listen.
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:37 pm
Well not gonna debate it cause truthfully I CAN honestly see both side, I don't love everything out of Dick's mouth, but I still would take that over the truly meanspirited behavior of other HG. What I did want to say is that I think part of the problem SanFran is no one is up for an intelligent chat/real debate with him. I saw him several times when we first got the feeds attempt some good, deep convo's and this group, like you know, like somehow, didn't like get into them. ARGGH. He showed he was well read, and I think it actually intimidated some of them. But given the lack of anyone to have an intelligent debate/discussion with, I think we only get the mouthing off part. As for his blog, there were a couple crude comments but I thought most were quite funny, his assessments of the other HG were for the most part spot on, and he picked on himself as fairly as others. All in all I found it one of the most amusing HoH blogs ever and quite well written most of the time. Last, I saw those old heavy metal links yesterday or the day before...assume they are the same. Consider that type of forum. Folks act certain ways w/certain people and since he promotes concerts and has run metal clubs, well I think that's more his job than something I would judge him on. Oddly, it makes me think of a personal comparision. Some of you know my boyfriend died thanks to a DUI quite a few years ago. He was a pro-hockey player who was coaching at the time. If you saw him out with the boys, he was your typical jock, and truthfully I don't think most folks thought he had a lot of book smarts. But as I on many occassions I would tease him in private w/comments like, "Yup, you're the world's dumbest economics major." I could go on but you get the gist I'm sure. With one crowd he acted on way, but there was MUCH more to him. Also, in a similar comparison, he tended to get away with what he could when folks let him. Sound a bit familiar?! Granted no the gross talk like Dick, but I still think it's similar in behavior.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:38 pm
Verbal abuse requires another participant?
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:38 pm
SF we all know what happens to hgs who do this kind of stuff. They rarely win the game, and they ruin their reputation when they get home. This is the choice he is making for himself. He has gone over the top many times and I think lost focus on his game because of it. I just think he is playing the role of "EVIL DICK" and hasn't really paid a lot of attention to his script and how much it can hurt him. I don't for one minute think he is abusive, a bit out of control..perhaps.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:40 pm
EM, but I think we aren't debating what is going to happen to him in the game, but how his behavior is as a person, not a game player. Eddie did win S1 though, and he was a pretty mean dude. 
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:40 pm
Jimmer, know what I think would make him stop with any person in there? If they sought him out privately, called him on his shit firmly but nicely, set some boundaries and stood up to him. In some way both Jen and Kail had done that early on, and he really backed off for a long time, until his 'game' needed it lol. Also they, esp Kail, changed their behavior, and directly challenged his game (I believe him that he would have honored his deal with her, but she had to become the BB town crier). But I'm willing to bet he would respect someone that talked to him and told him to cut the shit.
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Kmjm
Member
05-19-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:43 pm
Lurk, just to clarify, I was talking about Dick's MySpace blog. I haven't even read his HOH blog, which would have been censored by CBS anyway if it was over the top. We're talking about two entirely different things!
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Moderator
Moderator
06-30-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:43 pm
Many posts have been removed from this thread for baiting other posters. Any continued posting in that manner will result in a suspension.
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:43 pm
Jen, I agree w/that. If someone is going at me, and won't stop, if I walk away then they are left telling off a wall. Rather infuriating for them eh? I agree some in the house are playing right into him. If they did walk away, even if it took several times, he would be forced to stop. Also, I've never heard him go off on Jessica, Jameka or others. So I do feel it is a combo of strategy, being brutally honest, and who will take it.
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:45 pm
Eddie did win S1 though, and he was a pretty mean dude. Eddie was never mean..he said what he thought. The only time I even remember him saying something that caused a stir was when he said he'd like to clotheline Jamie. To be honest "I wanted to clothesline Jamie." By the way I think Dick's behavior is his game, so we are not debating something different.
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Lurknomore
Member
07-07-2001
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:45 pm
Kmjm...not sure how censored it was since he called Julie the "Chenbot" in it. LOLOL you should go read it...it was amusing. And I think it gives some insight into his real personality.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:46 pm
I'd be a lot more impressed if someone (other than Jen or Kail) in the group that he is saying all of this stuff to, stood up and called him on it. However, no one seems willing to do that and worse, last night most of them were willing participants in the conversation.
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:47 pm
Exactly Jimmer, they were playing the same game as Dick, just not to their faces.
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Jen
Member
07-27-2003
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:48 pm
Agreed Jimmer. But I think they know that as an emotional player, Dick would be on them then too or they would then be his target. I'm curious as to the reaction when he said that about Jen. Who all was out there and was there laughing or just what was their reaction.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:49 pm
So if the others were willing participants in Dick's conversation, are they not as bad as he is? Or are they are held to a different standard? Does the fact that Dick looks different make a difference in how he acts? If he looked like a jock (for example, like Nick or Mike), would he be held to a different standard? Dick is playing a game. All we know is his personality IN THIS GAME.
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Skydiver6
Member
07-21-2006
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:50 pm
I don't think Dick's behavior is his game. One of Dani's first statements was that he was like a really mean friend.
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Sanfranjoshfan
Member
09-17-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:53 pm
"Verbal abuse requires at least another participant. Every single person can either get up and walk away, or tell Dick that they don't want to talk or listen." Walk away to where? Dick will follow them to the ends of the earth.....er, um.....I mean back yard! Dani has tried on several occasions to walk away from Dick's verbal abuse, but he manipulates her and blames her and she loses her courage. He is her father and she gives him at least a modicum of respect for that, even when it's to her emotional detriment. Yes we could blame Dani for not having enough of a backbone to tell Dick to **** off, but Dick is still the one doing the abusing. "What I did want to say is that I think part of the problem SanFran is no one is up for an intelligent chat/real debate with him." Intelligent debate has nothing to do with Dick's verbally abusive personal attacks. I think Dick is a small insignificant man that only feels big by making others feel small. He has done that to Dani several times, to Amber, to Kail, and tried to do it to Jen, and Mike and Jameka. I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the others he uses this tactic on.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:53 pm
My memory is a bit hazy and I wasn't watching the feeds, but from what I understand the group was playing a game. If I remember right, they had to say someone who they would marry, someone who they would have wild sex with and someone who they would throw off a bridge?
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Kmjm
Member
05-19-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:54 pm
I have always complained about all the guys who act like Dick in any season, no matter what they look like. And I didn't witness the discussion last night, but I wouldn't have approved of it either if the others acted like Dick does. However, this is a thread about Dick, which is why I am sticking to talking about him. And I agree with the comments about verbal abuse not being a two-way street. The victim's reaction does not define whether a comment is abusive or not.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:56 pm
They can walk away. They can go into the bathroom. They can go into the diary room. All they have to do is not engage. And really, just say they didn't want to talk any more. But no one has stood up to him and asked him to stop.
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Skydiver6
Member
07-21-2006
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:57 pm
They can walk away. They can go into the bathroom. They can go into the diary room. And he'd just grab them again when they came out!
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:58 pm
And then they can say they do not want to talk. They want him to stop. If he is acting as a bully, stand up to him. Don't just stand there and take it.
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Kmjm
Member
05-19-2002
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 12:59 pm
Actually Dani has said to Dick multiple times that she has not wanted to talk to him and he has ignored her. She has also walked away from him more than once. I've seen and heard Kail do much the same thing, although less aggressively. It doesn't stop him.
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Spunky
Member
10-08-2001
| Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 1:02 pm
Back to see what's happening here, still no POV.. Anyway, about Dick's attitude in the house... Dustin put him in his place in the HOH room just recently, telling him what he's doing wrong, jumping the gun too many times and then come back again and again trying to apologize only to aggravate the situation... Dick interrupted him a few times but Dustin kept saying "let me finish"... then at the end Dick admitted: "You are absolutely right" (about Dick's flaws in the game)... However, since then Dick seems wanting Dustin out very very soon.
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