Author |
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Zachsmom
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 9:38 am
ecoop, that is not dicks story, but his sons story. he has a wonderful relationship with his son. vincent has debunked the money issue as a reason for their fallout. like i said, if she has not talked to her brother for over six months or so now because he said 'no' then that says something about HER character.
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C1mag
Member
07-12-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 9:39 am
Lyn I agree. We are never going to know the whole situation and we don't have that right. At the end of the day I do think they have a chance to find an amicable resolve to the past. It won't be achieved in that house but privately it can happen.
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Zachsmom
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 9:43 am
Doublethink, do you have kids? honestly, i don't like my mom sometimes and she doesn't like me, but we still love each other. if you do have kids and you have a falling out, can you imagine you saying 'i love you' and them turning your back on them?
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Beffylou
Member
04-21-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 9:46 am
I think my sympathies are more towards Dani .. and some Dick. See... in this relationship Dick is the PARENT and the ADULT. Dani was barely 18 when she borrowed the money and she's barely an adult now. What 18-year old borrows money and thinks cohesively about paying it back? I can understand Dani being frustrated about the whole thing and I can also understand Dick not getting it. Neither of them is quiet long enough to listen to the other. (though, I must admit if Dick went on and on like he does with me I'd tune him the hell out too.) Can you imagine growing up hearing constantly what is wrong with you? (much like he has with Kail and Jen?). I've been a Dick fan. But I'm over him and ready for him to leave.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 9:55 am
"Dani went to talk to Dick about how his behavior is affecting others in the house and he turned it around to something personal, AGAIN. That is why I said my sympathies lie with Dani. Just sayin'." That's how I saw it, Ecoop, because he was still steaming over their words earlier in the day. Daniele has made it clear she doesn't want to discuss their real life issues in the house, while Dick wanted them both on the show thinking they'd have to get through their real-life issues. They are coming from two different directions and rather than listen to her about what he's doing in the game, he takes what she is saying personal and it went downhill from there. One or both of them might realize for gamesake it might be in their own best interest to get the other one out, before they become such a huge target everyone wants both of them out.
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Doublethink
Member
08-23-2006
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 9:56 am
Zachsmom - as I said family relationships are complicated - I'm glad you and your mother have that sort of relationship. Not all families do, some parents do things that make it very hard to let them back into your heart. My relationship with my mother is more like a friendly acquaintance. I've made my peace with how we are. And no I don't have kids, I doubt that I would have been a good mother based on my upbringing. Although I do adore my nieces and nephews, and we all say we love each other.
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Bonbonlover
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:02 am
if you do have kids and you have a falling out, can you imagine you saying 'i love you' and them turning your back on them? Oh my gosh it happens all of the time . . . especially with (a) young kids, or (b) teenagers. They are in the moment and into themselves. Most parents, however, know that even though the child doesn't say it, they do love them. "I love you" is a very difficult thing for some people to say. I believe that Dani is extremely guarded with her love and Dick is fully aware and understands. Yes, I am sure it hurts him, but he understands.
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Zachsmom
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:09 am
i lost my father at 17 and would give anything to say and hear 'i love you' one more time. why one child have a good relationship and not another? because it's all about her. everything is about her. if her grandparents raised her, isn't that more a reflection on them then him? should they have not encourage a healthy relationship between child and father? he reaches out, she says f* you until i need you. and again it's not about money.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:12 am
I know people who deeply love their children, and yet find it almost impossible to say the words "I love you". And I know people who have good reasons for not "loving" their parents, yet who still treat them with respect. I agree that family relationships are complicated, and this one between Dani and Dick is mostly invisible to us. We only see what they are now, and not how they got that way. Memories are highly subjective, just as we see that Dani sees the relationship with Dick very differently from how her brother sees it. Then again, fathers often treat their daughters differently than they do their sons. So, we don't know more than we know. All I can say, is the same I wish everyone, that they find a way to value each other, and at the very least, treat each other with respect. That may be a difficult, if not impossible, task in the middle of a game that relies highy on deceit, as well as shifting alliances, to win.
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Bonbonlover
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:12 am
Yes, I do believe that much of Daniele's behavior is a reflection of her grandparents...and I think I heard Dick say that he would try to visit the kids, or have them come visit, and his mother would not allow it. (???? Don't know if it was simply a dislike for his lifestyle, or other stuff going on). I don't pretend to know what went on in that family, but I do know that in any situation where the children are split from their parents, it is very important for the custodial "parent" to speak of the parent with respect and not demean the parent. When that is done, it only hurts the child...
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Oddsygirl
Member
07-11-2006
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:13 am
Doublethink, He suggested the family counciling before he did a diary room. It was after he had calmed down and Dani had stopped crying. Zachsmom, I think that there is a huge difference between the child/parent when you are the child and a child/parent relationship when you are the parent. Both of my parents have chosen their own actions and I have chosen whether or not to continue to communicate with them. It has a lot more to do with how they choose to communicate with me. It has more to do with the choices that the parents make. But I am a parent of an almost 20 year old son, and we have a much different relationship. We went through a rough period, but we went through several years of family counciling and now have a very open friendship with my son and we talk about just about anything. I was willing to go do what ever I needed to to break the cycle so that my son never had to feel like he was on his own in this life.
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Lainee
Member
07-19-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:14 am
I never knew my dad and would have given anything to hear him say those three little words just one time! I will never hear them now since he died in 1973 before I started trying to locate him and I can't remember my mother ever saying them.
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Doublethink
Member
08-23-2006
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:19 am
Oddsygirl - thanks for the timing information on Dick's family counseling comment. So I was being a bit too cynical - lol
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Bonbonlover
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:19 am
So do we suspect POV ceremony will be later today?
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Scooterrific
Member
07-08-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:20 am
Bonbon...yes it will be 
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Oddsygirl
Member
07-11-2006
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:20 am
Doublethink - You are welcome
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Hypermom
Member
08-13-2001
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:25 am
With a lot of this, I think it is Daniele's approach. Last night, instead of standing at the door lecturing Dick, I think it would have been better if she sat down with him to tell him. She could have said, "Listen Dad, you need to tone it down because you are making people upset." When she's done this before, he listens. At times, I think Daniele likes to push to set him off....she like the confrontation. Right now, she knows she has the upper hand. She knows that she can manipulate him because he wants a relationship and has to walk on egg shells with her. IMO
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Ecoop
Member
07-07-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 10:43 am
I can see from all the input that opinions about the D&D situation are based as much on what we know/don't know about their situation as our own life situations. My situation was much different from zachsmom, for example. I never felt emotionally "safe" around my mother. We got along fine if I never disagreed with her, even on the most minor issue. If I did, she went ballistic. My father had a more gentle nature, but never took up for us kids (8 of us). I guess that's why I react the way I do with Dick. He always has to be right and have the last word. Like my mother.
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Bonbonlover
Member
07-13-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:14 am
Ecoop...did you say 8 kids. Wow!..Now I no absolutely nothing about you or your mother, but I gotta guess that she was exhausted!
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Sanfranjoshfan
Member
09-17-2000
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:25 am
Dick's hellish day is of his own making. He is really passive/aggressive. He seems to genuinely want to talk with Danielle, but he always ends up yelling at her and berating her because she doesn't see things the way he does and he doesn't know when to back off. You can't FORCE your way into an open discussion with an unwilling person and then expect it to be an honest or civil one. When he walked to the hammock to tell her that he would do counseling with her, he said "I really need it." Uh, don't you care what your daughter needs even a tiny bit? I think he should go into personal intensive counseling for his cruel and controlling behavior and only then, IF he learns to control his aggressive behavior, maybe his daughter won't feel so reticent to approach him. He was on ShoToo a lot last night. He approached Amber because she was upset at his constant demands to know everything she does and says when he's not around. He would ask her to just tell him she wants to talk but he refuses to talk with her until HE wants to. He berated her and somehow got her to apologize to him for misunderstanding his behavior. As I saw it, she understood his behavior perfectly but couldn't handle his manipulative behavior as he kept turning everything back on her. He finally "won" by breaking her down and then hugging her to comfort her. It's as if he verbally slapped her around and then comforted her to make himself the good guy. He isn't the good guy. Dustin spoke with him about Jameka being upset and he immediately interjected himself into the situation by running to Jameka and telling her everything Dustin had just said. Dustin actually called him out about it and Dick finally apologized, but he qualified that apology by justifying his behavior. It was an "I shouldn't have done it, BUT I had a very good reason to" type of "apology". After that conversation with Dustin, he ran directly to Jameka and said "I just got in trouble"! At one point he bemoaned his position saying something like "I'll be so glad when my HOH is over, it's exhausting". Huh? All he has to do is the POV ceremony and his HOH work is done! It's only "exhausting" because he can't stop trying to control every single thing that everyone in that house says or feels! LET IT GO, DICK! JUST LET IT GO! Dick's hellish day was created by his own manic need to control everything in the house. He berates the HGs for not seeing his point of view, even though he refuses to even try to see anyone's else's! He can't be trusted to keep his mouth shut and then he gets upset because people don't want to talk to him. Dick is a master at being passive/agggressive and he's way too obsessive to play this game with any finesse at all. He doesn't have a chance to win this game. I can't wait to see him booted!
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Missyb
Member
07-28-2004
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:28 am
One thing about Dick, he hardly ever lets anyone complete a sentence. Even when he demands an answer to his question. He is way more interested in giving his imput on a situation. Sometimes you just need to be quiet , sit and listen. One doesn't always talk to someone for advice. Sometimes just an ear will do. I think that is what Danielle would like. She hasn't hadher fathers imput for years. Doesn't really need it now.
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Sunbeaks
Member
07-21-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:44 am
I may be wrong, but a thought just hit me.... Danielle IS Dick's daughter - flesh & blood!. It stands to reason that not only does she, in my opinion, have a strong physical resemblance to him; so maybe, just maybe she may also have a bit of his personality, which could cause conflicts & problems between them. Dick has his quirks & unique ways, but I actually like him.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:49 am
Excellent post, Sanfranjoshfan. For awhile there, I thought I was watching different feeds, because I was seeing Dick exactly as you described and others weren't. When Zach confronted him the other night, he threw a towel and said he hated being HOH. You nailed it about what he did to Amber. He did something similar with Kail earlier in the week. I missed Dustin calling him out, darnit. Does anyone know if there is a video clip of that anywhere? Good for Dustin.
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Ecoop
Member
07-07-2005
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:50 am
Yes, Bonbonlover, she definitely was not emotionally equipped to have 8 children. I can see that as an adult, but was never able to overcome the years of negative conditioning. We were still very much like passing acquaintnces who didn't like each other very much up until the day she died.
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Guinevere
Member
03-15-2001
| Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:50 am
I am more inclined to be sympathetic to Daniele in the Daniele/Dick situation. She is 20 years old, and appears to be a young 20. I am a great advocate for adult children coming to terms with their parents' behavior when they were growing up, and either accepting and moving past it, or severing the relationship if that's what they feel the need to do. But I don't think Daniele is adult enough at this point to expect that kind of maturity from her. I was watching last night's Showtime feeds this morning, and she was talking to Amber about being afraid of her father's anger when she was growing up, and how her father would get in her face and yell at her. This resonated with me. I think Daniele has a lot of resentment that she hasn't worked through yet. If she were a 30-year-old or even a 25-year-old acting the way she acts with him, I'd have a lot more judgement about it. As for Dick, I don't hate him, but he is definitely flawed. He seems very self-centered and egotistical to me; whenever he gets into a conflict he seems to have the need to "win" at all costs. Again, watching the Showtime feeds of his conversation with Amber last night - I did not see the original conflict, but the way he talks to her is very controlling, passive-aggressive and condescending. Also, I'm not a fan of someone who can't control their temper, and then tells others "that's just the way I am; you need to let me calm down and then we can talk." You should act like an adult, and when you don't, you need to apologize for your behavior and try to do better, rather than just expecting people to put up with it, because it's "just the way you are." Dick's a fairly smart guy; he reminds me a bit of Roddy (who I loathed) in that he uses his smarts and his relative articulateness to manipulate the other HGs and talk rings around them. It's not something I really like to see.
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