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Archive through July 23, 2007

The TVClubHouse: Big Brother 8 ARCHIVES: Big Brother 8 - Part 2: Dick Hellish Day: Archive through July 23, 2007 users admin

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Lurkin
Member

02-15-2002

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lurkin a private message Print Post    
Dick is <57> having a major power trip

I am a daughter and a mom of a 23 &20 yr old , so I am on dicks level

My opinion, Dick lost respect as a parent acting like a 20 something. Working in bars tattoos dyed hair nail polish way he dresses talks. That is not a 40 yr old. Probably from things in their past a long time ago she has no respect.
Respect goes both ways in a parent child relationship.

Look how he talks to Amber and others in the house. Dani said same way he treats her. I wouldnt want to be around him either If she hasnt been able to depend on her dad as a child why should it be different as an adult

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Lurkin, you are a woman, not a man. You are a mother, not a father.

And I'm curious why you can't be a good parent when you work in a bar, have tattoos, dye y our hair, wear nail polish, dress differently, talk differently.

I really want to know... what does THAT have to do with being a parent?

Scooterrific
Member

07-08-2005

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scooterrific a private message Print Post    
I"m 40...so if I get my bb pierced, and a tatoo on my ...well we won't say where...I now turn into a bad parent?

Ecoop
Member

07-07-2005

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 11:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Ecoop a private message Print Post    
YES, Sanfranjoshfan, that's what I've tried to say, but failed. I call that emotional abuse. Who can blame Dani or any of the HGs for that matter, if they are disturbed by his behavior?

Sanfranjoshfan
Member

09-17-2000

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 12:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sanfranjoshfan a private message Print Post    
Sunbeaks, there was an interesting conversation between Daniel and Nick last night in the hammock. She told him that her father has shaped her life, that she is what he made her. Then she clarified that. She said when she does anything, she stops and thinks for a second to make sure she is not handling it the way Dick would. She said she goes out of her way to NOT behave like Dick does.

That was very evident when she and Dick had the conversation in the HOH room. The more he berated her and tried to FORCE her to accept his view of their relationship, the more Danielle clammed up and refused to take the bait.

She realizes that arguing with him only encourages his aggression and pathological need to have her agree that he is always right and she is always wrong. She understands that if she doesn't agree with him, he will continue verbally tearing her down until she breaks.

Personally, I would never continue a relationship with a person like that. It's a lose/lose situation. The more you take that kind of obsessive verbal abuse, the more it will continue....and the more Dick pushes it, the further he pushes his daughter away.

I applaud Danielle for leaving that HOH room.

I never had a real opinion about Dick until seeing last night's ShoToo. A couple of hours watching Dick run circles around himself trying to force his will on everyone is more than enough evidence to declare him a man with a selfish, self-serving, bullying attitude.

Kmjm
Member

05-19-2002

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 12:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kmjm a private message Print Post    
Interesting discussion and in particular your eloquent posts, Sanfran. That's how I see Dick too. I don't know about all the details of their past and I never will. All I see is what has been revealed in the BB house. Last night Dani and Dick argued like they were both 12 year olds. Neither of them looked very good, but Dick has 24 more years on this planet and should have learned a thing or two in that time. By his own admission, he spent years doing whatever drugs he could get his hands on (except using a needle, lol) and a lot of drinking as well. When you do that, you stop yourself from feeling real emotions and dealing with and processing the uncomfortable life lessons that mature us and give us perspective. Dick has also developed defence mechanisms that allow him to dismiss anything he doesn't want to hear. He immediately throws it back and twists it around so he doesn't have to deal with what the person is saying to him.

I agree that Dick needs separate counselling before he can really work things out with Dani. He has a lot of demons to deal with.

Klaw73
Member

08-21-2006

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:29 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Klaw73 a private message Print Post    
Last night, I took the time to read all the post of Nick's son on SS. Having done so, it does put things in a different prospective for me. I don't think it's fair to say that Dick neglected his children, wasn't there for them, or to put him in the classification of a "deadbeat father." While he may not have had custody of them, he was there for them and did participate in their lives. Their mother, on the other hand, is a different story.

It is incomprehensible to me that a mother could abandon her children, have three other children, and rarely acknowledge her first born. I can only imagine how painful it was for Dani growing up without a mother's love. I might be wrong about this, but I thought her brother said they were raised by their grandpa. If that's the case, Dani did not have a constant female role model growing up. Sad...very, very sad.

Clearly, Dick wasn't the best role model and I would imagine he acknowledged that when he gave custody to their grandparents. As easy it is to look at Dick's behavior on the show and say "no wonder Dani's messed up," I don't want to dismiss her mother's own participation in Dani's destructive behavior.

I feel the difference between Dick/Dani and Dick/Vince is that Vince acknowledges that his dad is the way he is, cannot change that, and accepts him for who he is. I believe in time, Dani will come around and be glad that she at least had one parent that was a part of her life, even if it was flawed.

My dad is a lot like Dick. He doesn't look as wild, but his voice is just as loud and scary. He even rages and lashes out on people. Much like Dani, I resented him growing up b/c I didn't feel he supported me emotionally. It wasn't until I was well into my adulthood and had children of my own that I learned to accept that he is who is and I cannot change that. I have also come to appreciate that while he may not be the best when it comes to emotional support, he has been there for me in so many other ways and still is. Despite my dad's faults, he is my dad and I love him. I am sure Dani does too, but has a difficult time showing it because of the built of resentment. She is young and has a lot to overcome...more than any 20 year old should, but it's not all Dick's doing, IMO.

The big difference between Dani and I is that I had the love and support of my mom. Without that, I don't know where or how I would be. I can only imagine how painful that is for Dani. I feel tremendously sorry for her.

I also feel sorry for Dick, but in a very different way. The fact that Dick is at least trying and is willing to participate in family counseling speaks for itself. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot help Dani if she doesn't want to be helped. I believe he really wants to make things better for her. As I said in an earlier post, it's never too late to right a wrong. That's JMO.

Lurkin
Member

02-15-2002

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lurkin a private message Print Post    
Costa- I dont get what you mean about being a woman. I am talking about being a parent

I didnt say he was a bad parent. (although, no he will never be dad of the year)
I said no RESPECT. You can have a good parent but not be respectful of them. I am living proof of that. I have a selfish mom, who always tried to compete with me, be a peer with my friends,put herself first in every situation, the world revolves around her . Total self absorbed (not unlike Dick) She was a good parent, gave me everything I needed as a child exept emotionally . but have noooo respect for her as a parent/adult.

What I mean about Dicks looks and actions. He acts and looks like he is 20 years old. No kid wants dad to compete with them. Seriously, would you want your dad with all the piercings on his face dyed red streaks etc,Painted fingernails? when you are a teen & early 20's , that wouldnt embarass you? Really.
You would respect your dad hitting on a 21 year old girl ?

We go with our kids to Nickelback and Aerosmith concerts. I drink (moderately), listen to Van Halen, ac/dc, etc, husband and I ride Harleys but dress, look and act 40. dont wear a##less chaps , fringe halters and hit on my sons friends.

I'm just saying act your age when you have kids. Respect them , they respect you. My personal opinion, phylosopy (sic) Take it leave it, Worked for me. Got a kid on Deans list, Got a college graduate making 65,000 a year, talk to them all the time. I KNOW I made mistakes not the perfect parent. But never gave them reason to not RESPECT me.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
I missed Dustin calling him out, darnit. Does anyone know if there is a video clip of that anywhere?

Cricket....and anyone else, I've posted some youtube links in the Feed capture/Video clip thread (I cant remember what it is called right this second as it is different than Other years)

xxx000xxxx also posted about Five links about Hell Day in that same thread.

Klaw73
Member

08-21-2006

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Klaw73 a private message Print Post    
BTW, during Dick and Dani's fight yesterday, it seemed like Dani was reprimanding Dick for bad behavior, as if he was the child and she was the adult. She said a lot of things that were right on and what others wanted to say, but didn't. In that moment, Dani seemed more grown up than Dick, IMO. Dick truly acted like a child yesterday who didn't get his way. It will be interesting to see if he heard what Dani was saying and if Dick's demeanor/approach changes at all. If I were Dani yesterday, I would have been embarassed and humiliated. I like Dick and think he has the ability to play a good game if he can control is anger and outburts. Unfortunately, the damage seems to be done and is days are now numbered. He lost a lot of respect after that, IMO.

Klaw73
Member

08-21-2006

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:43 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Klaw73 a private message Print Post    
I saw Dustin call Dick out...it was hard to take him serious though with his costume on...LOL.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
Live Feed Video ../10972/4363769.html"#E7EFEF">
Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
Live Feed Video ../10972/4363769.html"#DEE7EF">
Cricket
Member

08-05-2002

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:49 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Cricket a private message Print Post    
Thank you so much, Sunshyne.

Klaw73, you are exactly right. Daniele was the adult in the debate.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
I've never understood why people are expected to automatically look a certain way because of their age.

I guess we don't know anyone who dyes their hair?

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:52 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
This thread went a little off what I was hoping to discuss but it was interesting.

Something no one has mentioned is Dick's admission of drinking/ multiple Drug use. A parent can be present 'in the same town' but not be present emotionally to a growing child.

I have a feeling that is what has occurred. Dick has proudly declared smoking enough pot to fill the livingroom.

I believe him. His slurring speech and inability to remember what he has said, and what he wants to say....is ruining his game.

The will is there, but the flesh is weak.

On a few occasions already I have noticed that if someone calls him out on his 'blurting' and talking over, Dick will say that he will 'try to remember' what he was going to say in response.

in other words, Dick is aware his short term memory is shot and he knows he is cognitively impaired.

Personally, I think BB producers would be remiss(?) in not getting dick to talk a little about Antidrug use.


Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 1:54 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
jimmer, I think it is the "goth" thing. Most people grow out of that stage. It is pretty weird for me to see a 44 yr old man still emotionally drawn to that stereotype.

I have no prob with the funky dyed hair LOL

But he aint no Brit!! BB1

Jucylucy
Member

08-23-2005

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jucylucy a private message Print Post    
Drugs stunt your emotional growth. I know people that have done drugs for years and they behave in the same manner as when they started on drugs. Dick might be off drugs but he hasnt done the work to move on....with himself and with his family, imo.

Klaw73
Member

08-21-2006

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:06 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Klaw73 a private message Print Post    
A parent can be present 'in the same town' but not be present emotionally to a growing child.

I agree, but to add to that a parent can be present in the same house and not be present emotionally.

Dick's drug/alcohol use is just one more reason to believe Dani and Vince were better off living with their grandpa. I still don't think that makes Dick an uncaring parent though...an irresponsible one definitely.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
dick quit pot 3 months ago he said

You know, I dont think anyone would say Dick (or any other addicted parent) is neccessarily uncaring.

But I think a parent should put the child's needs above their own. Many parents don't. Dick's case is just extreme because of his CHOICE of careers.

and yes folks, it was a choice. I've found that people I know of who do drugs often become apathetic to wanting any change....they are doing 'just fine' how it is now thank you very much.

Everyone else can see it aint fine.

methinks Dick's parents knew it wasnt fine either or they wouldnt have kept the kids from him.

Klaw73
Member

08-21-2006

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Klaw73 a private message Print Post    
I've never understood why people are expected to automatically look a certain way because of their age.

I guess we don't know anyone who dyes their hair?


I agree. My mom always said that when a woman reaches a certain age, she shouldn't have long hair. I know that's quite different from Dick, but I have never understood that either. Some of my best friends dress and look on the accentric/alternative side, one of which is an attorney. I personally wouldn't want the attention that comes with it, but I respect that they are who they are and don't care what others think.

And I admittedly dye my hair...lol.

Sharinia
Member

09-07-2002

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:26 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sharinia a private message Print Post    
Excellent posts SanFran and Klaw. I have to say, I have a lot of sympathy for Dani.

Lurkin, I also appreciate what you were trying to say. Certainly no child wants their parent to try to compete with them, and I did get the impression right away that Dani had some issues in that respect with Dick's name dropping etc (not to say that it was wrong of him).

It's an interesting question as to whether parents ought to alter their desired style of dress to please their children, or least try to be sensitive to what might commonly be perceived as 'embarrassing' -- or if kids should be expected to endure however their parents look and learn to be supportive.

I know that it feels very unnatural as a child to have your parents even hint at competition between you. I can remember being in a mall with my mom when I was about 13 & my mom was 38, and she said something like, "Ohh, men are starting to look at you instead of me!" And I was like "huh???" Thankfully she never took that any further.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    

quote:

What I mean about Dicks looks and actions. He acts and looks like he is 20 years old. No kid wants dad to compete with them. Seriously, would you want your dad with all the piercings on his face dyed red streaks etc,Painted fingernails? when you are a teen & early 20's , that wouldnt embarass you? Really.
You would respect your dad hitting on a 21 year old girl ?




Seriously, I wouldn't have minded. Neither I or any of my friends judge people by how they look or what they do. And tats and piercings don't affect anyone but the wearer.

I absolutely DO NOT and NEVER HAVE judged anyone and I am not embarrassed by anything my parents do or have done.

I do, however, judge people by their actions and their words. And before I judge ANYONE on how they look or what they wear, I try to find out what's on the inside. And for the rest of what I want to say, I'll just self-mod.

Seriously.

Earthmother
Member

07-14-2002

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:36 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Earthmother a private message Print Post    
First of all "pot" has never been proven to be addictive. Secondly I know many many people who smoke pot and drink who are very good parents. To classify a person a "non existent, or bad parent" is not fair, because you don't know. I know mothers and fathers who have piecings, and tatoos who live their outside the confines of a blue suit and high heels who are exceptional parents. Being eccentric or unorthodox in dress, style or habits have not got one thing to do with raising your children.

Dick has taught his daughter to be tolerant of others differences, and obviously he loves her and she knows it. If she were paying attention she would learn from him how to stand up for yourself and how say you are sorry when you are wrong. Those are not the signs of a BAD PARENT to me. He had a temper tantrum yesterday..Any "good parent" here never had a tantrum, that you were sorry for later? I know I have, many, many times.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 23, 2007 - 2:38 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
I absolutely DO NOT and NEVER HAVE judged anyone----I do, however, judge people by their


i dont judge/ I do judge....and I appreciate the honesty voiced above.

We all like to feel that we wouldnt judge, but we ALL do it.

it is part of human nature that many of us battle to NOT stick to our personal biases.