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Smokey
Member
07-08-2003
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 4:27 pm
I would never let it go with my child. I would never want them to believe I gave up on them and I never would give up on them. A difference in people, I suppose.
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Nicedupa
Member
08-18-2007
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 4:28 pm
This relationship is very much a tragedy. He's trying, she's not. I pray they mend their hurts and spend some of their winnings to go to counseling together and as individuals. They both will benefit from it. My fingers are crossed for happiness not loss.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 4:49 pm
LOL @ Wink. The Dr. Phil house would have been a better choice. Honestly, since they can't resolve the money issue before the final vote, my guess is that it will end driving them further apart also.
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Nycsoho
Member
08-11-2007
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:05 pm
I'm telling you, if they share the winnings they will have to pay double taxes. It has nothing to do with who wants to share or who doesn't.
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Tresbien
Member
08-27-2002
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:20 pm
I don't consider it giving up; it's shifting direction because what Dick is doing is not working. One of my favorite sayings is: if what you're doing isn't working, try something different. I'd like for him to ask her what he/they can do to begin to heal the hurt between them. Both people have to be willing to try, and that's not the case here. Just because he wants it right now doesn't mean it's going to happen right now.
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Smokey
Member
07-08-2003
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:47 pm
Scribe, you made a very good point about Dick being needy. This is a man who contacted her 30 times without getting a response and was not deterred by that. He wants what he wants and is bullying her likes he does everyone else only he's less crude about it with her. This is the part I was responding to. I just don't see where phone calls is being needy. I also think that's a good thing that he was not deterred by her non-response. I also do not, at all, see him as bullying her to get her to respond. I did see him bullying others, so I'm not blind to it. I just never saw that towards Daniele. I see him as a parent who desperately wants communication with his daughter and it's like banging his head against a wall. I agree that it isn't going to happen right now. I don't know if he does or doesn't want it right now. I just see him as frustrated in attempts at communication with her.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:51 pm
I don't think you can judge the success or failure of their relationship while they are still in the house. They ARE still playing the game, and they both ultimately want to win. It's obvious that Dani's head is still in the game. I think they need time to decompress, and then I do think they their relationship will be repaired and on the road to recovery.
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Tvjunkie64
Member
09-04-2007
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:52 pm
Let's also remember, D/D have talked about how they have been in an "alliance" since the beginning - so I believe Dani's professions of wanting her father out were just to side track people.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:54 pm
Sorry, I disagree. I do believe her when she said "she didn't care if he was evicted in the first weeks or not." And their "alliance" was the "enemies" thing that BB created.
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Scribe
Member
08-16-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 5:57 pm
I just came back to this thread - have to agree with Sassy above - Dani's reaction to Dick is very typical of parent adult child interaction - most adult children no matter how good the parent child relationship is do not want to hang around their parent 24/7 and would as Sassy says be driven out of their minds after a while. I dont see anything really wrong with the 30 e-mails to Dani - its not bullying so much as an indication of how needy he is of her approval - I wish I could find the site for the Blog I read that he wrote and posted back in 2005 but it gave me a lot more insight into him and what he has gone through in the past and why probably he is so needy - but anyway I know that most all of you are not DD fans so I wont go on here - just suffice it that I think they have made headway and once out of the house with some geographic space their contact will continue no matter who wins the big prize -
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:06 pm
Dick's MySpace page.
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Smokey
Member
07-08-2003
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:12 pm
Costa, I completely agree with you about not being able to judge their relationship in the house. I just wish them the best with it.
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Scribe
Member
08-16-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:16 pm
THanx Costacat but I think there is another longer more complete and from 2005 Record or Blog that he wrote and that a reporter or such posted in its entirety after the reported commented on how once he/she read this it gave him better understanding of what Dick had gone through - I found it searching Richard Louis Donato but cant find it now.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:19 pm
Scribe, it was there in his MySpace page.
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Scribe
Member
08-16-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:24 pm
COsta dont know why I cant find it but I found it in something called TV Grapevine - it was really touching - seems longer than the notes in the myspace page but I could be wrong - Im not great with navigating through myspace. Thanks for the help. http://72.14.209.104/search?q=cache:QGeR-PNsn3sJ:www.tvgrapevine.com/index.php%3Ftopic%3D11313.msg73477+dick+donato+9/9+divorce+&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
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Scribe
Member
08-16-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:27 pm
Costa you are right - the site I put in sites to the myspace location - but what I found wasnt as long and involved as this - maybe I didnt go deep enough into the myspace - anyway thought the piece was well written and very touching.
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What555456
Member
06-14-2005
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:40 pm
Does Dick really want a relationship with her? Or does he want her to tell him all is forgiven so he can assuage his guilt? I said early on this summer that Dick's need for reconciliation is all about making Dick feel better and has little if anything to do with what Dani wants for her life. If she were to forgive him, he'd stop his interest in her and he'd be off living his own life with little thought to her the way he did when he abandoned her when she was young. But he would be able to stop feeling guilty -- an emotion he richly deserves. Dick's desire for reconciliation is simply for himself, nothing more.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 6:41 pm
You don't know that. You can't know that. All you know is what you have seen on the TV show or live feeds. I think Dick truly wants a relationship with his daughter. He has one with his son.
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Tresbien
Member
08-27-2002
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 7:09 pm
Interesting article. Thanks for posting the link Scribe.
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Scribe
Member
08-16-2000
| Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 8:11 pm
Tres glad you found it interesting ... so did I... guy is really deep ... made me like him even more ...
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 9:14 am
Dick has to come to grips with the fact that "loving" someone won't make them mature. Dani uses guilt to get Dick to give her what she wants and if she doesn't get it then she ignores him which she knows hurts him. She has said repeatedly that her Grandmother is the only one she cares about..Could it be because Grandma doesn't put up with her crap, and holds her feet to the fire?? I'd venture to say "yes". There comes a point in every relationship when one person uses less than honorable tactics to get what they want to stop. It's called "tough love"..I've been through it as many of you have I'm sure. In my case it wasn't my kids but my sister. She is much younger than I am and always looked to me to provide her with what my parents couldn't or wouldn't. I admit I created a monster. She guilted me into giving her what she wanted for years even after having her own children and I bought into it hook line and sinker. She would want something and cry and I'd fall for it and then she either wouldn't speak to me until she wanted something else or blame me for her mistakes by claiming I controlled her, and treated her like a child. She continually told me how grown up she was and that she could take care of herself and didn't need my lectures everytime she needed money or someone to watch her kids. I finally agreed that she was a grown up and stopped the gravy train. She didn't speak to me for 18 months, but she grew up (quickly). We now have a wonderful relationship and good deeds are reciprocated. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but it paid off in the end.
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Chippy
Member
08-16-2007
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 9:26 am
It saddens me that society keeps raising the bar on being a grown up. She's 21 years old. When is the maturation fairy gonna pay her a visit exactly? The girl has her own life, has made her own choices, works for her own money, and has proven she's not without a brain so, I just don't get the maturity factor. She can be 40 and remain a self centered, whiney brat just as her 44 yo father hasn't waivered much from his teenage years.
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 9:29 am
By the way, I didn't call her. If she wanted to talk to me she would have to call me..I didn't want to be accused of checking up on her. If she did call (which she did for a about a month after I cut her off) and the subject changed to "I want", I would tell her I had to go. I wouldn't offer nor would I let her ask.
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Tresbien
Member
08-27-2002
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 9:34 am
Thank you for your most eloquent post, EM. I think many people could benefit from your experience with your sister. Enabling only hurts both parties and prevents personal growth. That must have been a difficult time for you to be out of communication with your sister, but you gave her and yourself the greatest and most loving gift of allowing her to learn her lessons and grow from them. Well done, well said, and thank you for sharing your experience.
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 9:37 am
Chippy, my granny is 92. We just had this discussion when she came to stay with us last fall with my mom. Granny says none of her children or grandchildren seemed like fully fledged mature adults in her eyes until they hit 40. So I guess it all depends on your perspective.
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Earthmother
Member
07-14-2002
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 9:42 am
Thank you Tres..yes it was one of the hardest times in my life. Funny thing is the the other 2 hardest times in my life (happened in this last year) she was by my side, supporting me.
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Tresbien
Member
08-27-2002
| Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 10:00 am
I'm sorry for the challenges you faced this year, EM, but am glad to see that the road you paved with your sister led her to your side through it. The song in my head this afternoon is Aretha Franklin. R E S P E C T Our dynaminc duo of Donatos could use some of that IMHO.
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