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Archive through September 15, 2007

The TVClubHouse: Big Brother 8 ARCHIVES: Big Brother 8 - Part 10: Dick and Daniele.. Relationship Success or Disaster?: Archive through September 15, 2007 users admin

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Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 7:45 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
Milosmom, I appreciate it. Dani did ask her dad if she wanted him to use it and he said no. So I believe he was happily surprised when she used the veto on him anyway.
It's really kind of sad and maybe I'm reading it wrong but it sounds like some people don't want them to have a successful relationship. It's not up to us.

Onlymytulips
Member

07-17-2005

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 8:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Onlymytulips a private message Print Post    
The intrigue of the relationship between D&D should be cashed in by CBS. I think it would make a great weekly show of what they did with the money, who went where and how much stuff Dani bought. (Or could not buy)

Onlyhuman
Member

08-04-2001

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 8:39 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Onlyhuman a private message Print Post    
It's not that I don't want them to have a successful relationship. If they go to counseling and do the hard miles that it takes to examine your own behavior and how it contributes to your interactions with others, then I wish them all the best.

What I refuse to do is get all mushy over a dysfunctional relationship that feeds on their mutual dislike for others in their vicinity. When they are happiest is when others are down or when they are ripping on someone else.

As for their support of each other, they are related so they have each other's backs. My mother, as abusive as she was when I was growing up, ALWAYS defended me against others, even when I didn't deserve it. Sure, she would yell and scream and hit me in private, but SHE was the only one allowed to do so. Dani and Dick have each complained about the other to other HGs, but as soon as someone else says something negative, their hackles are raised.

I would love for this to be a positive experience for them, to learn and grow from the experience, but all I've seen is that their most negative behaviors have been reinforced. Their positive interactions are few and far between. Right now they are bonding against a common enemy, but when that is gone, will there be anything left? Not as far as I have seen, but that's just my opinion.

Gaylestorm
Member

08-25-2005

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 8:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Gaylestorm a private message Print Post    
Excellent post, Only.

The dysfunction in the D's relationship is what always stands out to me. They certainly don't put the fun in dysfunction.

Mandana4evah
Member

07-08-2005

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 - 9:09 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mandana4evah a private message Print Post    
Only, well said.

I totally feel after the game is over they will only have whatever money and shared experience as any common sharepoint, nothing really long lasting.

I've just been sad for their past, their present and their future.

I hope for the best, but from what they've said, from how they act, from what seems to be...it don't look good.

:-(

Kep421
Member

08-11-2001

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 3:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kep421 a private message Print Post    
They are now even.

With respect to the veto gifting of each other, this statement (I think) is the real reason Dani gifted the veto to her Dad.

When Dick gave the Veto to Dani, Dick fully expected to be voted out. He sincerely thought he was giving up his place in the house so Dani could get farther in the game. Dick's sacrifice was real...even tho it turned out in their favor anyway.

I'm sure Dani realizes this as well.

I can't see Dani allowing herself to be "beholding" to her dad...she can owe him money, but goodness forbid she should ever have to show gratitude...

Dani cleverly found a way to "pay him back" with absolutely no risk to herself.

Dani is one smart cookie...

Dfng
Member

08-04-2005

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 4:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dfng a private message Print Post    
I don't have a great relationship with my dad (I have written all about it before so I won't now) but my dad helped me build the family room addition on my house. We almost killed each other through the process. We don't talk a lot now because of something that happened but I can tell you that when we do talk we often chat about the times we bonded building the addition.

I think the same will be true for Dick and Dani. Is the show going to solve their issues... heck no. But they now have this bond of going on the show togther and have a neutral territory in which to come back to each other and talk about.

IMO. Dani's gesture of taking Dick off the block was symbolic. She knew it didn't matter game wise but I think she did it because like any normal person it was the unselfish thing to do. It's the little things like that gesture that make me think Dani is gaining some maturity.

Now if Dani didn't take her Dad off the block I feel viewers would be saying how selfish and self centered she was. If you don't like Dani then she was in a lose/lose situation.

Seattlemom
Member

05-10-2005

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 4:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seattlemom a private message Print Post    
Dfng My sister and I also do not now get along with our Dad Long story! But I agree at least the show will give them something to look back on and talk about and share a laugh! So all I can say is Ditto to your whole Post ((hugs))

Christina
Member

08-07-2005

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 4:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Christina a private message Print Post    
I just have to say, that I feel the only time the relationship is going well between the two of them, is when they are ahead in the game. Just my observations.

Dfng
Member

08-04-2005

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 5:14 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dfng a private message Print Post    
Thanks for the hugs Seattlemom... right back at you.

I agree Christina. When a relationship is rocky likes theirs then stress is going to play into their weakness and when they are winning - less stress and they get along better. I find the same thing happens in my relationships at work and at home (just not to their level as I'm able to walk away from the stress).

Milosmom
Member

06-10-2006

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 5:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Milosmom a private message Print Post    
I want to apologize to those that have or have had family problems. I was lucky in always having had a wonderful relationship with my parents (both dead now), and I may have been insensitive to your feelings. I just always try to look on the optomistic side of things, but I see why some can't.

Chippy
Member

08-16-2007

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 6:06 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Chippy a private message Print Post    
Excellent post, Only. ICAM.

Seems to me their relationship (in the house) has its UPS (when they are "winning") and DOWNS (when they're at any risk). Real life doesn't enter into any of it so far. But, from what we've seen of both of them, I cannot imagine any healing happened. As far as judging them, hey, they've put themselves center stage...

Earthmother
Member

07-14-2002

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 6:13 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Earthmother a private message Print Post    
To me it says a lot that Dani has admitted that she trusts her dad. This is not something that a battered or abandoned child would say. Dani is very young in some ways and old in others. I personally don't know any family that hasn't got some dysfunction when viewed by others. They have a pattern of guilt guiding their relationship and I have found this true of many parents and children from broken homes. Dani will grow up eventually and see that trust is the most important part of any relationship. My parents weren't perfect and neither am I, but sometimes it takes being a parent to realize what is truly foremost in life. Going through a selfish period is common, for someone her age, but she loves and trusts her dad and that is the basis for being a family. They will grow from this experience because they not only will have a bond but I think they will realize that no matter what happens neither of them will stop loving each other. It boils down to being mature enough to accept the things about each other that you don't like. Seeing the tapes of this show will definately help each of them see what the part they have played in messing up their relationship. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Allietex
Member

08-16-2002

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 7:53 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Allietex a private message Print Post    
Sorry to be negtive about their relationship, but I, like so many others see an up side only when they have won something and are bashing on others.

Yes, she trusts him. He is her Dad and is making a real effort to mend relations with her. That does not mean she wants a relationship with him.

They never discusss anything shared in the past like most family members would do in this situation. They never discuss hopes and dreams for the future. I am not talking about deep personal things, only superficial stuff.

The others in the house, total strangers share more than these two. They only share game. It was only in the last week that I ever saw her hug him. show after the endurance contest

But if they do not win the big money, she is going to blame him, and I see little hope for the future. I sincerely hope I am wrong. That is the only area where I have any sympathy for either of them. But I have seen little evidence of a reapproachment between them.

Other than the concern she showed him after the endurance come, she seems just as cold toward him as she did the first night.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 8:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
Good post by everyone! You all make very good points. I appreciate those of you who don't like the Donato's, at least saying that you hope you are wrong in thinking that their relationship will not flourish.
I know I sound like a sappy woman but I am very compassionate when it comes to living beings. There is already enough negativity in this world without me adding any negative thoughts into the mix.

Misosmart
Member

07-03-2005

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 8:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Misosmart a private message Print Post    
They are both incredibly bright and incredibly capable. If they both want to do the hard work, get into therapy and work it out -- it's doable:-)

Allietex
Member

08-16-2002

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 9:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Allietex a private message Print Post    
Den, I am usually sappy also. I tear up at sentimental commercials. I love reunion shows. But there is just something about these two that leave me cold.

I think part of it is her coldness toward him and his needy but agressive attempts to rebuild their relationship. I just find both of them lacking in empathy, so my empathy gene just stays dormant.

Denecee
Member

09-05-2002

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 10:31 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Denecee a private message Print Post    
Allie, I see where you are coming from. For me, I just get the feeling that Dani is very guarded, doesn't want to be nice to her dad because she feels like that would make her vunerable to what he might say the next time they argue. I also feel like Dick says a lot of stuff in the heat of the moment that he doesn't really mean. I know it makes him look bad and it is up to the offended person to forgive him.

Bbnut
Member

06-12-2006

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 11:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Bbnut a private message Print Post    
Milosmom...no you didn't offend me in the least...both my parents are still alive and still married 56 years...I get along fine with my mom, but my dad never had a good relationship with most of my siblings and me.

I would die to have a dad that cared about fixing a broken relationship, as Dick has sincerely offered to Daniele. She is still very young and has a lot more to learn about just how precious that opportunity is.

In fact, Milosmom, I am grateful you see these things that I do and I'm sorry about how you must feel missing your parents.

Jeanne
Member

07-15-2005

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 11:43 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jeanne a private message Print Post    
Allietex, Daniele seems like a very private and introverted person to me so I am not surprised that she doesn't want to speak intimately or even that casually about her family affairs (or feelings) in front of millions of viewers or even the other HGs. Dick, on the other hand, seems very extroverted and open to me, so I think he would likely talk on just about anything, but is trying not to in order to respect Dani's (or even his family's) wishes.

I also think her comments about Dick "yelling nasty things to her face when she was a little girl" has been pure strategy (since Vincent has stated publicly that this isn't true).

Karuuna
Board Administrator

08-31-2000

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 11:56 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Karuuna a private message Print Post    
Honestly, given how Dick has behaved in the house, I find it totally believable that he was nasty to Dani when she was young. I also understand completely how different children both perceive their parents differently; as well as are effected differently, and remember things differently! That shouldn't invalidate the other child's memories. In fact, if there is to be healing for them, her memories do need to be validated.

Dani has seen yet again how her father can be when he doesn't get his way. She doesn't trust him. One of the most valuable lessons in my life was learning that how someone treated *other* people was eventually how they would treat me. We are foolish to think otherwise.

That's not to say that Dani doesn't have her own issues. She's still quite young, IMO.

But most importantly, I do truly help they will get professional help. Both of them could find that to help them make major improvements in their relationship styles, and have healthier relationships with everyone in their lives, including each other.

Realurker
Member

08-10-2004

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 12:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Realurker a private message Print Post    
When Dani encouraged ED to verbally insult Zach during the competition, that showed how unhealthy this relationship is. Zach told Dani after the competition how it hurt him and Dani just made a face. She didn't apologize. What terrible things she has learned from her Dad.

Loppes
Member

07-12-2002

Thursday, September 13, 2007 - 12:46 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Loppes a private message Print Post    
Reallurk ITA!!! Daniele clearly signalled to Dick to start verbally bashing Zach. She did that at a point when she was starting to realize, she wouldn't be able to endure the comp. Of course, I have seen countless situations where she uses Dick to prompt ugly behavior or responses.

Having said that, Karunna, I also agree that they probably need major counselling. But much as I hate to admit it, I could really never see it helping them, for the one reason that their track record shows that they ALWAYS put the blame for everything on someone else. They both work together in a most unsettling way, to totally put down anyone around them, including the BB staff.
I have this eerie feeling if they were in a counselors office, they would both find a way to blame the counselor for being incompetent.

The ONLY type of person that possibly could break through to them a tiny bit would be a Dr. Phil type of person. But to be honest, I don't know how much even his style would affect them. Some people in life, I guess I've come to realize, will never change their behaviors because to change one's behavior a person needs to feel deep down in their soul that they really want to. I think Dick and Dani will skate through the rest of their lives without any visible efforts to improve themselves.

What blows me away moreso, is how few people actually get the strength to stand up to them, and even further how many people seem to condone their actions. Sure those people will justify it by saying ,"it's only for the game" etc. But from where I sit, they are clearly the same in the actions in their real lives. People view them in different ways - I choose to view them as a clear example to myself, on what it can be for a human not to have some level of moral values and respect for other humans. If someone had said to Daniele, "I would like to rape you until you bleed to death, then have sex with your corpse" like Dick said of Jen, I can't imagine what that man would do to react. He has no brain capacity to realize his same own vicious words, could easily be said by someone else to his daughter. And in this respect, I question how much respect he has for her and for himself.

Mssas
Member

08-04-2006

Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 3:49 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mssas a private message Print Post    
ITA Loppes. Those 2 brought so much negativity in the house. I believe that's what Jen said when she nominated them early on in the show. Jen was right on but no one believed her.

Looks like their new found "relationship" won't last too long outside the house. Dani is already back to acting like he disgusts her and she doesn't want to be around him. Where's the "love" now for ya Daddy Dani????

Of course if he wins the 500G's I'm sure she can muster up a lil more "love" for daddy!

Mssas
Member

08-04-2006

Saturday, September 15, 2007 - 4:55 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mssas a private message Print Post    
Very good and true article. After Dick won final HOH I turned off my TV and didn't watch anymore. I found this article and had to laugh at what happened afterwards.

http://realitytvcalendar.com/shows/bb8/bs/bs-114-9366-p1.html

And yet another Truthful article:

http://realitytvcalendar.com/shows/bb8/commentary/eb-9364-p1.html

I love it!

I love it!