Author |
Message |
Bonbonlover
Member
07-13-2000
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:09 am
Spunky...ITA. Thinkgs can't always be like the Norman Rockwell painting depict...
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Suzsmarmie
Member
07-26-2005
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:12 am
JMO, fwiw, sometimes it takes one party growing up and getting past the "Peter Pan" lifestyle and the other party growing up past the "Spoiled Child" stage to finally find a spot to meet in the middle. It will happen, although it may not be until (as others have said), Dani has children of her own or matures enough to realize you cannot carry that baggage with you all of your life.
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Nyheat
Member
08-09-2006
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:14 am
A lot of relationships happen in the house because of the artificial situation, so it's hard to judge while they're still in there. They'll have to figure out for themselves when they get back to the real world and are not forced to be together 24/7. That being said, I'm really sick of their storyline and couldn't care less whether they reunite or not.
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Boberg
Member
10-04-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:26 am
In regards to the Dick and Danielle fight last night...it was over Dani making a deal with Amber, that Amber would not nominate her if Amber got HOH. Look at the TV show Tuesday night...in the bathroom where Dani pulls ED aside and tells him her plan to ask Amber for a deal that Amber will not nominate her if she gets HOH. This is BEFORE Dani and Ambers talk in the HOH where the deal is given to Dani on a silver platter with all the trimmings. Daddy thinks it is a good idea and says so. So what is daddy all upset about when he finds out Dani made the deal???
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Beruthiel
Member
08-07-2000
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:32 am
Danielle is punishing her Dad for whatever wrongs she believes he committed in the past, because HE'S the one doing all of the work, and the grovelling, and the apologising, and yet, despite all her protestations of how bad he is, she knows she can trust him and does so. She knows he'll take care of her interests in the house, and doesn't only let him, but seems to expect him to, and never gives him credit, and watches out only for herself. She 'hates' him, and having to deal with his presence, but she doesn't want him gone, because as she said herself he's the only one she can count on. However messed up their relationship, she shows by her actions that she knows he loves her, and she has all the power, because he's the petitioner and she's the Queen who can say yea or nay. I sincerely hope that at some point Danielle can forgive and drop the chip from her shoulder, because there'll come a day when Dick won't be around, and it will be too late, and that's the tragedy of parent-child relationships. Clinging to past pain is hurting Danielle as much as it's hurting Dick, if not more so, because she's allowing it to sour her life. He's trying, and she isn't. I hope she gets the time to forgive, it's so much easier than carrying a grudge.
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Boberg
Member
10-04-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:42 am
Beruthiel...there is a lot of truth and mature understanding in your above post. Anger and bitterness usually ends up only hurting the one who holds it. But how many times do you forgive and let someone back in your life who continues to cause you pain because they "are who they are" and "am not changing for anyone" they "know they are an a@@hole"? Just because Dick loves her doesn't mean it is good for Dani to have him a part of her life. That said, we do not know where all this anger and bitterness comes from and do not know if the cause of it is a pattern of behavior from ED.
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Zachsmom
Member
07-13-2000
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:46 am
dani hasn't just done this to dick, she does it to the rest of her family as well. is her whole family this way? dani keeps saying :you don't see my side. yet when dick asks her to explain, she just shuts down and walks away. i think she likes his begging. she behaves very selfishly and has no regard to other peoples feelings. this is not to say that dick is blameless, but it's not all him.
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Hotfudge
Member
07-03-2005
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:48 am
But Dick is willing to change. He is willing to go to counselling. Dani is not. I went through a lot of crap during my childhood. All 3 of my sisters and I did. I could choose to live my life blaming my parents for everything they did and didn't do. Or I can get past it, realize that they were young and probably not ready to parents themselves and had their own screwed up childhoods where they never really learned how to be good parents. And yes I did resolve these feelings at a very young age, probably 18 or 19.
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Cricket
Member
08-05-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 9:49 am
Cricket, I don't think Alison was looking to solve family problems, she was looking for drama. I agree, Onlyhuman. It's just too bad all the others are having to pay for this drama. It would have been soooo interesting had they played against each other, instead of playing, squabble; playing, squabble...and on and on. Predictably boring.
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Nutsy
Member
08-14-2001
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:00 am
I agree Zachsmom. She has no relationship with her brother, her grandfather, her mother or her father. What's the only constant? In watching the latest argument it is so clear to me that she just doesn't seem to have the communication skills necessary for good relationships. Clamming up and shutting down will never resolve everything. I really hope they do get counselling once the game is over. When things are good between them it is easy for me to believe that there's hope.
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Marameko
Member
07-15-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:15 am
Her being the constant figure makes me think that she is not only clueless about her relationships but also selfish.
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Mrsmel
Member
07-04-2007
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:16 am
Dick is the kind of person who says very mean things (we all have seen that these past couple of months) and then says hes sorry and he is over it. Dani holds a grudge. Thats as simple as it can be. I completely understand that thinking about the grudge because I am the same way. Forgive maybe but never forget. Yea it would be nice to get over it, but you are who you are and sometimes you can't. Dani can't. How he treated all the ones he has degraded ( Kail, Jen, Dustin, Amber, Jameka, Eric ) is probably how he has at some time or another treated her. Its just now starting to show by the things he has been saying about her and to her the last couple of days. It doesn't mean he doesn't love her, he obviously does. Its just how they are and I don't see that changing.
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Zachsmom
Member
07-13-2000
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:20 am
exactly marameko, look at how she is treating her own boyfriend! talking about nick all the time, wants a letter or phone call from him etc. i can just see it when she gets home and he starts saying how much it hurts him, she'll turn it around and say 'but you don't see it from MY side'. then she'll leave him and never talk to him again. it almost seems that she just sees and wants/expects people around her to be perfect and treat her perfect, yet she cannot do what she expects others to do.
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Milosmom
Member
06-10-2006
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:31 am
There is a lot of truth in that post Zachsmom. I wish so much this relationship thing had not been played out on BB. Dick is vilified for what he is perceived to be, so of course HE had to be the problem maker. So sad to see him being called the names he is, well it wouldn't bother him, but it bothers me!!
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Marameko
Member
07-15-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:33 am
Good point Milosmom I never even think of the poor boyfiend.I just plum forgot him , and lord knows I should since she always talks of Nick and then I remember " she has a man ", yet she acts like she has known Nick forever.
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Marameko
Member
07-15-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:34 am
oops I meant Zachsmom !
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Mssas
Member
08-04-2006
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:39 am
Well, you forgive then wait until you piss him off again and then he says he's sorry AGAIN and expects you to forgive, it's a vicious circle for abusers and their victims if you keep enableing them and don't hold them accountable for their actions. She has every right, be it right or wrong to feel the way she does...she's lived it. ETA: I've never been abused myself, but have read articles in magazines and this seems to be the MO for abusers and their victims.
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Beruthiel
Member
08-07-2000
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:44 am
Thanks for the response, Boberg. The trouble is, that one can choose one's friends, but one can't choose one's family, and no matter which way one cuts it, they're a part of you. You share the genes, and sometimes that's the trouble, family members share the same faults and it causes conflict, such as stubbornness, for example, or a quick temper, or a tendency to hold grudges. Even if one walks away, the problem still exists and festers inside, one can't walk away from one's self, so Dick is right in hoping to at least try counseling to get things out into the open and issues resolved, as best they can. That would be good for Danielle as well as the rest of the family. You can bet that if Danielle has separated herself from everyone but her Grandmother, then Dick isn't the only one who's sad that they've lost her, and it points even more towards Danielle as having some responsibility in the problems in the family dynamic. There's a lot been said about Dick's shortcomings as a father, but I have to wonder about the grandmother's role; since she was the real 'parent', can all the blame be laid at Dick's door? If Danielle doesn't resolve her dilemma, it'll eat at her all her life, and after Dick's gone, her chance to heal will go with him. I've been there, done that, with my parents, who've been gone for a long time now. I thank the powers that be for having made peace with our past before it was too late. No parent is perfect, they mostly just do the best they can, and realising that, and accepting it, makes a child an adult.
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Mssas
Member
08-04-2006
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:49 am
She has said she has a great relationship with her Grandmother now since she no longer lives with her.
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Milosmom
Member
06-10-2006
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:50 am
I just rewatched the whole Dick/Dani fight and I have to be on Dick's side for this one. He never made deals without Dani, she did. She even mentioned voting him out at one time. And then on to the personal stuff. Not much that can be said about that is she needs to grow up fast, and learn to live in the real world. It's not all about her. If she was so abused, she wouldn't have gone on with him, plain and simple. No, she didn't have a stable family relationship. A lot of families don't these days with high divorce rates. Then she pulls out the "I didn't ask to be born" card. She uses Dick's love for her to continue to stab him for what happened in the past. The past is the past, either get over it, move on, or don't apply to be on BB with Daddy! Simple enough.
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Carmil
Member
07-17-2005
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 10:57 am
Milosmom, I agree with every word you wrote. I'd also like to add that it wouldn't surprise me if she lets Dick loose very soon to ensure he's on the jury as a vote for her. If she wins, she'll take the money and run. If she loses, it'll be "her dad's fault".
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 1:56 pm
okay you guys are looking at the fight from the time that I posted. NOT one word was about amber or anyone else. I'll try to find it as it is THE fight I am referring to. that other one was hours earlier
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 2:01 pm
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ghYRc4L0sCQ when you listen, keep track of how Dick keeps flipping it all back onto her shoulders. He has a huge wall up as far as looking at his history. I also take great exception to his 'lets pretend everything is fine' routine. That is classic for abusers.
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Loppes
Member
07-12-2002
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 2:07 pm
The sad thing is after that fight, they had even a huger meltdown with each other later up in HOH, which left Dick going to his bed and literally sobbing.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-17-2003
| Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 2:10 pm
i just watched the youtube. It doesnt seem half as bad today. How strange! maybe because it was so tense last night. Some dialogue is cut off at the end.
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