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Archive through July 30, 2007

The TVClubHouse: Big Brother 8 ARCHIVES: Big Brother 8 - Part 10: Kail's snobbery: Archive through July 30, 2007 users admin

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Castleexplorer
Member

08-10-2005

Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 9:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Castleexplorer a private message Print Post    
Bastable,

You said the word that I have been searching for. Instead of "snobbish", I think that "self-rightous" describes Kail best. She sees a lot of things as black and white, and hasn't reached the place in life where most things are not so well-defined, they are just different shades of grey.

Jucylucy
Member

08-23-2005

Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 9:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jucylucy a private message Print Post    
Kail has no problem with gay people that promise to put her up as a pawn period

Watching2
Member

07-07-2001

Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 11:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Watching2 a private message Print Post    
Again, her DR on the show about Dustin's family "accepting his lifestyle choice," ticked me off. *sigh*

Sanfranjoshfan
Member

09-17-2000

Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 11:58 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sanfranjoshfan a private message Print Post    
Me too, Watching2.

One of these days people will understand that the only "choice" we gay folks make is whether or not to live a lie in order to appease those who live their lives in ignorance and/or bigotry.

Seamonkey
Moderator

09-07-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Seamonkey a private message Print Post    
Kail represents a real barrier!

Kail's DR ticked me off, too. But then most of what she says ticks me off.

Sunshyne4u
Member

06-17-2003

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:32 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Sunshyne4u a private message Print Post    
i think you guys may be misunderstanding her words.

We all have a choice of how we want to live. we all have wants and needs but it doesnt mean we HAVE to act on them.

Dustin has chosen to live a gay life, not a celibate life, not a heterosexual life, not a bisexual life.

never have I seen or heard Kail say that actually BEING gay is a lifestyle choice.

living a 'lifestyle' however, is pretty broad spectrum and doesnt really "SAY" anything about a person as an individual.

strangely, I wasnt offended by kail's comments, but it is not a pet peeve of mine, nor am I touchy about the wording.

Zachsmom
Member

07-13-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Zachsmom a private message Print Post    
sunshyne, lifestyle is not defined by sexual orientation.

i could have the same lifestyle as a gay man. wait no that doesn't work.

a gay male, lesbian,straight female/male, bisexual male/female could all choose to live the same lifestyle. but none of use choose our sexual orientation.

Scubalass
Member

07-01-2004

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:53 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Scubalass a private message Print Post    
Our sexual preference it not a choice .... it is how we are born. Dustin has not chosen a "lifestyle" He is who he is, he cannot do anything about it.

People like Kail are ignorant and are the cause of discrimination and prejudice

Castleexplorer
Member

08-10-2005

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Castleexplorer a private message Print Post    
I think that by Kail saying that she would be disappointed if her son was gay said a lot about her. I don't care who my daughter loves, as long as she loves someone who is good to her and who keeps her happy.

I don't know, that's not fair to Dustin/people who are gay to not get to "choose" to act upon his/their natural instincts. He should live alone because of an endocrinalogical or biological reason?

Why would he "choose" to be gay. It is much harder to come out and be gay than it is to follow the "normal" tradition and be "straight".

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 7:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Dustin has not chosen anything. He is gay. And he lives his life. Period. The ONLY choice he made was to come out and stop living a lie.

Technically, I could be living a gay life. I'm single, own my own home, live in a gay community, have gay friends. But guess what? I'm not gay.

People who are gay do not choose it. Some men I've known who've had a really tough time being accepted by family have said "why would I *choose* this? why would I choose to have my family hate me?". It's not a choice. And it sure as heck is NOT A LIFESTYLE!!!

Kail rubbed me the wrong way the first episode, and she has yet to say something that does not sound self-righteous or bigoted (in some way). I only hope she learns something (although I suspect Dustin is not much of a teacher), and comes out of the house a little more tolerant.

Marameko
Member

07-15-2002

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Marameko a private message Print Post    
Preach Costa.......Kail must go.

Kmjm
Member

05-19-2002

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:18 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Kmjm a private message Print Post    
As bad as Kail sounded choking out those words about Dustin's "lifestyle choice", I felt that for her, it was a step forward. I bet she's been thinking a lot, as she gets closer to Dustin and is forced to rely on him in the game, about what she would do if one of her sons was like him. If Dustin's parents could be so accepting, maybe it is possible to have a happy loving family when one of the sons is gay. I felt that way off on the horizon, Kail had a peek at another possibility in life that she would not have been open to before.

I do totally agree with all of your comments about the obnoxiousness of calling sexual orientation a lifestyle choice. Maybe I'm giving her too much credit, but I did read Kail's comment as a small but important shift in her perspective.

Castleexplorer
Member

08-10-2005

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Castleexplorer a private message Print Post    
Never mind, I've had my turn at the podium.

Bastable
Member

07-09-2002

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:19 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Bastable a private message Print Post    
I'm not misunderstanding Kail's words, either. Not at all. In fact, I seem to understand them better than she herself does. Who you're attracted to is not a "choice," being gay is not a "lifestyle" any different from anyone else's, and gay people shouldn't be expected to live alone for all their days rather than act on their love.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:26 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
Castle, I really don't know. It's not something we really talk about any more. Alos, my community is becoming less than it used to be... lots of "families" are moving in (and ask me how much I love sound of screaming kids... NOT!).

I do know that when my mother came out to visit me years ago (when I lived a block down the road in a Melrose Place type apartment), we had more gays than straights living there. We were all quite close and all hung out together. Mom said, when she went home, that she was glad she'd gotten to know my friends, because she felt as if I was surrounded by family. Of those guys, most of them were accepted by their own families (I think only one in the 20 wasn't).

OTOH, I have a cousin who lives in SF, has lived with his "business partner" for years, and yet has not come out to our family. I know he's gay, but I think he's afraid of his mother. So his mother looks the other way and doesn't question.

And a really close friend's brother is gay. His family? Again, don't ask/don't tell, for years and years. He finally came out to his family because he was tired of living a lie (he always brought his partner to family gatherings, and had to endure the "where's your GF" questions). The response when he came out was odd... kinda like they ignored it. They just continue to act as if he's not gay, as if his "friend" is just that. Really odd.

Castleexplorer
Member

08-10-2005

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:30 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Castleexplorer a private message Print Post    
Sorry Costa,
I thought I'd blabbed too much and removed my question. Thanks for your quick response!!

I asked Costa what percentage of people who were gay in her community were shunned. I told her my cousin is gay and that in his community, Seattle, it is about 80%. He is accepted by our family, and his friends are welcome to join us at any time. If he has a partner, the partner is also welcome. The hardest adjustment for me was to accept that he probably wasn't going to have kids.

That's funny about your friend's mom ignoring it, as if it's going to go away. lol

Lucas
Member

07-01-2005

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:34 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lucas a private message Print Post    
I think Kail is a bit off in her thinking, but again she does not say things in anger or hate ie about gays, only ignorance perhaps. But one thing is clear, BB is putting her into a role with the questions and editing. Jameka has made a few less than positive comments about gays, but that has yet to make the show. Kail is being portrayed as the snobby southern rich woman. I think she is actually pretty nice for the most part, certainly has her bias for sure, but no more than the rest of them. What I do not see is her spewing hate, just her honest thoughts. I don't particulary like Kail, but in seasons pasts very much loved houseguests said some pretty racist and gross things. Kail's main problem is that every word she says is being talked about because she is annoying and grates on viewers and the other houseguests.

Costacat
Member

07-15-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Costacat a private message Print Post    
The thing about BB asking questions in the DR... these people are all adults. They do NOT have to fall into the traps BB sets for them. Kail could say "I don't want to answer that" or "That's not a question I can answer" and then what would BB have? Nothing. Instead, she steps into it herself by responding. (BTW, have any of you noticed how she talks in the DR? Her eyes are going every which way. Everyone else pretty much talks into the camera, but not Kail. And yes, it kinda freaks me out.)

Tera
Member

08-10-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 8:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Tera a private message Print Post    
Yes I have noticed that, Costa. She has those twitchy eyes. She also phrases all of her answers in the form of a question. Listen to her, it sounds almost like she is asking a question at the end of each sentence.

Hamsteraddict
Member

06-28-2005

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 10:09 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Hamsteraddict a private message Print Post    
Much has been made (on the CBS website and in DR sessions) of Kail being a "business owner".

After listening to her spew ignorance and naivete, and slaughter the English language on a daily basis, I'd avoid her "business" like the plague. If she presents HERSELF so poorly, what can I expect her to do for my home in a real estate market?

Sheesh!

Swannanoa
Member

07-09-2007

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 11:29 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Swannanoa a private message Print Post    
However, she still believes that they are making a choice and it is the wrong choice. I think Kail represents a very tough barrier for gay people to overcome.

I don't think that any gay person should have to overcome whatever barrier Kail has about this. I think Kail needs to overcome her own ignorance.

I found her remark about Dustin's parents offensive. I, myself, have a son who is gay. He didn't make that choice. Why would he? It took him a long time to tell us and we love him dearly. Had I heard Kail say that in person she would have heard me ask her the following questions: When did you make the choice to live a heterosexual lifestyle? If sexual orientation is a lifestyle and a choice, then when did you make yours?

The answer I'd hear would be "I was born this way" and I would respond "And so was my son." People like Kail can't have it both ways. They like to think they do, but they don't.

<93>

Jucylucy
Member

08-23-2005

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 11:42 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jucylucy a private message Print Post    
oops meant to post this in here....

Kail's ignorance about gays is a testament that she has no idea what goes on in the world except when it directly pertains to her. She doesnt understand because she doesnt bother to understand. It shows a selfish trait.

In this day and age, there is no reason for it. She is amazed that the pictures of Dustin's parents are smiling in spite of Dustin being gay.

If Dustin didnt offer her an alliance, I really doubt that she would be as accepting of "his lifestyle choice". (I know gay is not a lifestyle choice) In her acceptance, she still doesnt get it.

Bbdi
Member

09-01-2006

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Bbdi a private message Print Post    
Forgive me for not reading every single post in this thread, but a thought has been in my head since hearing Kail's comment about the gay lifestyle. If BB asked me "How would you feel if your child chose a gay lifestyle" my answer would probably be the same as Kail's "I would be heartbroken.". Not because I disapprove, but because of the inherent hardships that come with being gay, i.e., the gay bashing, the discrimination. That would cause me to answer that way, I would be heartbroken that my child would be facing these things from our society.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:55 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
You see, I would respond that my child didn't "choose" it, anymore than I "chose" to be a heterosexual.

Bbdi
Member

09-01-2006

Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Bbdi a private message Print Post    
Oh, I agree, I don't believe it's a chosen lifestyle either, but I still may have repeated the question back to them as they asked. Anyway, not everyone has the same response to immediately say "it's not a choice" and they might just answer the question as asked.