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Big Brother 2 Parodies

The TVClubHouse: Big Brother 7 All-Stars ARCHIVES: Big Brother 7 All-Stars Part 7: Song Parodies 2006: Big Brother 2 Parodies users admin

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Draheid
Board Administrator

09-09-2001

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Donut Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 11:58 am

sung to the tune of "Because I got high"
(with apologies to Afroman)

Bunky:
I wasnt gonna sell them out
but then i just cried
wasnt gonna suck up to Nicole when she pouts
but then i just cried
and now I've been evicted out and i know why
because i just cried because i just cried
because i just cried
boohoohoohoohoohoo

Nicole:
I was gonna kill that f'er Will
but then i just cried
I was gonna take a whole lotta pills
but then i just cried
now i'll never get the half a mil and i know why
because i just cried because i just cried
because i just cried
boohoohoohoohoohoo

Hardy:
I was gonna eat a protein bar
but then i just cried
was gonna cheat with my remote control car
but then i just cried
now my life is ruined by a giant peanutbutter jar,
and i know why
because i just cried, because i just cried,
because i just cried
boohoohoohoohoohoo

Will:
I was gonna poop on a trampoline
until i could cry,
was gonna let Nicole's feet touch my ween
until i could cry
Now I'm shaving my balls clean and i know why
so i can cry, so i can cry, so i can cry
bahhoohoohoohoohoo
("did you catch that on camera?")

Monica:
I'll cosign anything that walks, but i won't cry
I'll never make sense when i talk, but i won't lie
Now its awwwn 'cuz i got the game locked,
and i know why,
Because i don't cry and i don't lie
and my wigs are so fly
yahoohoohoohoohoo


Nutsy Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 12:48 pm
Okay, here's a verse, can't really think of a second one - got work to do y'know. ;-)

(tune of "Oh they built the ship Titanic...")

Oh they built the Big Brother House
That twelve people moved into
They thought they’d have a show
That everyone would tune into
But then Justin went berserk
And Mike Boogie rapped like a jerk
It was sa-ad but he still won HoH
Oh it was sad, SO sad
The raps were bad, REAL bad
It was sad when he pulled out the keys
That left Nicole and Sheryl out to sea


Oregonfire Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 12:54 pm
Okay, I'll try my hand at this:

Sung to the tune of Aretha Franklin's "Respect"

Toes you want
Baby I got 'em
Hot tub talk
You know I need it

All we need
Is just a little sangria
Just a little bit
Just a little bit

Honey, I ain't done you wrong
Talkin' bout the weather
But why'd you still
send that banner?

All we need
is just a little sangria

SAN SAN SAN SAN SAN SAN SAN

Just a little Sangria

S-A-N-G-R-I-A

Checkin' out the weather today!

Sangria

music fades out...


Allyg8r Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 01:11 pm
To the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies...

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Will,
Went to BB house and became Doctor Evil.
Met a girl named Shannon who really was a pill,
She even cleaned a toilet with the toothbrush of Mr. Hill...

Hardy, that is... who wants to be a movie star...

When Chilltown left, Will was all alone,
Everybody thought that he was soon to be gone,
But Will beat Kent and then Bunky too,
Then knocked Nicole off the bed by using it as a "loo".

Pee that is... yellow stuff...(gold for Will)

Now Will has the power to break up the power of 2,
After the HOH comptetion that he threw,
Hardy and Nicole are wondering what they now can do,
Nicole can't seduce him cuz the hot-tub was a boo-boo.

<That was my valiant attempt - sorry if it's goofy...>


Eddiesleg Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 01:16 pm
The Brotherly Willbillies
(sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a doc named Will
Poor Practicioner most people'd pay to kill
Then one day he was drinking in the tub
an up from the bubbles come a foot for to rub.
Nic's ya know, footsie time, sangria style

Well, the next thing ya know, ol Will's a 1/2 millionaire
Roommates said, "Hey Will, ya puppeteer."
Shannon said Californy is the place we oughta be,
so they loaded up his loot, and they moved to Belly.

Bar that is! Boogie's place, so he says!

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Will and all the mice
An' they would like to thank you folks fer kindly peepin' in.
You're all invited back next year to this locality,
T'pay for feeds to help with Shapiro's salary.

Willbilly, that is! Set a spell, Put your feeds on!
Y'all tune in, here


Roxibalboa Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 01:36 pm
lol, You all have me crackin up.
ok, I'll try but not as good as you all

The big brother bunch

here's the story
of a house named brother
with a girl named nic
who will she wanted to smother

all of them they lied and cheated
and some cried
and the one named nic
she wished will died

then the one day when the
hot tub was too hot
the girl nic she got
her self into a spot

that this day would somehow
live forever
as her husband sent the words
i'll trust you never


Mystery Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 01:48 pm
Sorry, another TV song: (The Flintstones)

Houseguests, meet the houseguests
Brought together as a family
By a cruel Big Brother
As a ploy to beat "must-see TV."

One by one, the guests must slowly go
Leaving one to win a pile of dough

That is our "Big Brother,"
It's a show to make your heart rush
Hey! Where's my toothbrush?
It's the Big Brother Show!


Donut Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 02:01 pm
to the Flinstones:

Houseguests, meet the houseguests
They're a really f'd up family
From the town of "Parking Lot"
They're a heapin' hunk of misery
Let's make rainy weather on our street
With the courtesy of Nicole's feet
When you're with the Houseguests
Have a f'ing off the hook time
an evil look time,
We'll have a co-signed time!


Planochick Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 02:21 pm
To Hotel Califonia:

In a dark crowded hallway, cold chill down my spine
Huge swarm of of wannabes, Ready to sign the form
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to sign away my life

There he stood in the doorway;
I heard the call of fame
And I was thinking to myself,
This could be Big Brother or this could be Lost
Then he Shook my hand and he sent me on my way
There were voices in the walls
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Big Brother Compound
Such a Boring place
Such a Basket case
Plenty of Cameras at the Big Brother Compound
Summertime of year, you can see me here

Nicole's mind is twisted, she got the Black rimmed eyes
She's got a lot of petty, petty boys, that she calls Di*cks
How they stretch in the backyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some nap to pass the time, some backgammon to death

So I called up Big Brother
Please bring me my wine
Krista said,'We haven't had Nyquil here since Tuesday of last week
And still those banners are coming from far away,
Make you look up in the middle of the day
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Big Brother Compound
Such a Boring place
Such a Basket case
Plenty of Cameras at the Big Brother Compound
Summertime of year, you can see me here

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The chips on the bed
And he said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's Head of Household,
They gathered for the Kill
Justin stabs it with his steely knives,
But they just can't kill the bi*ch


Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the eviction notice
To the place I was before
Relax,'said Julie Chen
We are programmed to evict
You can vote to exact your revenge
but you can never win


Timwil Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 03:53 pm
sung to the tune of "Send in The Clowns"

Nicole (to Will):

Ain't I a *****
ain't you a creep
me with my foot on your crotch
(through clenched teeth) don't fall asleep-you no good b******

Send in our talk show...

Isn't this hell,
my fault, I fear
Putting you through what I put you
tough ****, my dear

Send in our talk show...

Ratings do soar,
when I'm with you
And even though Jeff, I am sure, has walked out,
I refuse to be blue
Making these genuine threats to your life is a task I must do
it gets me off
ain't nothin new

When we're out there
2 weeks from now
Kelly and Regis will freak out
they'll have a cow

We'll have our own talk show
produced by Shapiro
where is our talk show

Well, **** me, it's here....

(to the camera and sobs) I love you Bunky, Krista, Shannon, Autumn, Sheryl, Mike Boogie and Kent. See ya at Belly!


Donut Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 06:39 pm
jingle bells
will's shorts smell
Hardy seems so gay
oh what fun it is to watch
live feeds all freakin day!

and
the theme to Mary Tyleer Moore:

Who cam turn the world on with a toe
and rub her breasts and sit on you
to see if you will grow?...


Bonnykay Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 07:22 pm
Julie's Isle
(Sung to the tune of Gilligan's Isle)

Just sit right back
And you'll hear a tale
The tale of a fateful show
That started out on CBS
And soon began to blow

Nicole was a big beeatch right off
The rest all fell in line
The houseguests soon began to think
"The money will be mine ..."
(The money will be mine ...)

The guests are evicted one by one
So Julie soon will meet
With Monica
And Hardy too
With evil Will
And Nicole

They're almost out
We've watched them pout
Here on Big Brother 2!


Babyruth Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 08:35 pm
To the tune "Julia" (Beatles):

Most of what you say is meaningless,
But you say it for the paycheck Julie Chen

Julie Chen, Julie Chen
Stands stiff, glued smile
So I laugh out loud at you Julie Chen

Julie Chen, tear-filled eyes, hates her job, worried.
So I cringe inside for you Julie Chen.

Her weak attempts to try
to make this show fly
are fail-ing.

Julie Chen, Julie Chen,
your career, ruined.
So I feel sorry for you, Julie Chen

When you have to play your part...
You can never speak your mind, Julie Chen

Julie Chen, quit your job, leave the set, save face.
So I sing encouragement to Julie Chen, Julie Chen, Julie Chen.


Zed Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 08:50 pm
Sung to the tune of Addams Family:

They're kinky and they're horny
obnoxious and corny
they all obsess 'bout "poor me"
the BB Famiily

The cameras can see all
demented freaks post on y'all
24/7 we're having a ball
watching the BB Family

Neurotic
Egomanical
Freaky

We saw Nic's Hot Tub Toesie
Will's willie she wanted to see
Will then proceeded to flee
Another night with the BB Family!

Eddiesleg} Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 09:32 pm}
This is my tribute to Justin. Which is very appropriately to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

Is this the real life?
Is this just CBS?
Caught in the limelight
No escape from the internet
Open your eyes
Speak into your mike and say....

"I'm just a street thug, I need no sympathy
Because I'm fightin' here, f**kin' there,
A little drunk, little slow
Anyway the game ends,
doesn't really matter to me.....to me"

Justin, just got the boot
Put a knife against her throat
Asked to kill her, now he's gone
Justin, the show had just begun
But now you've gone and thrown it all away

Krista, oooo
He didn't mean to make you cry
If he's not back from the diary room tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really happened

Too late, his time has come
Got Shapiro on the phone
He freaked then sent him home

Goodbye Justin Baby - You've got to go
Gotta leave the freaks behind and face the truth
Julie, ooo -
He don't want to lose
Bet he wishes he'd never been there at all

I see a little poor excuse for a girl
LIESOMEMORE, LIESOMEMORE will you do the fandango
Listerine and Nyquil - very very frightening me
LITTLELIAR, littleLiar,
LITTLELIAR, littleLiar,
LITTLELIAR, Figaro - magnifico

But she's just a sweetheart and everybody loves her
She's just a poor girl from a poor family
Spare her her life from this monstrosity

Banner here Banner there - will you tell the truth?
BBFC! No - we will not let it go - let it go
BBFC! We will not let it go - let it go
BBFC! We will not let it go - let it go
Will not let it go - let it go (never)
Never let it go - let it go
Never let it go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO

"Oh I ain't stoopid, I ain't stoopid, I ain't stoopid don't you know.
Sha-pir-o has a contract put aside for me
for me
for MEEEE"

"So you think you can nominate me cuz I lie,
So you think you can vote me and leave me to cry
Monya baby - they can't do this to me Monya
Just gotta get out - just gotta get kicked outta here"


Babyruth Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 09:50 pm
To: "Why don't we do it in the road" (Beatles)

Why don't we do it in the tub
Why don't we do it in the tub
No one will be watching us
Why don't we do it in the tub


Delilah Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 10:36 pm
My favourite band the Stones so here goes

I saw him today in the hottub
A glass of sangria in his hand
I knew he would meet his connection
At his feet was a footloose gal
No you can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
But if you try sometime, you might find
You get what you need (Will)

I went down to the Diary Room
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing “I’m gonna vent my frustration
Arnie, I’m gonna blow a 50 amp fuse!”
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
But if you try, sometimes well you might find
You get what you need ( a good slap)

I went down to the LA drugstore to get my prescription filled (Xanax)
I was standing in line with Mr. Hardy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a (protein) shake
My favourite flavour, strawberry red
I sung my song to Mr Hardy
Yeah and he said one word to me, and that was “dead” (when Jeff gets you home girlfriend!)
I said to him
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
You can’t always get what you want (Jeff)
But if you try, sometimes well you might find
You get what you need (Will)
You get what you need – yeah, oh baby

I saw him today, in the hottub
In his glass was a bleeding gal (she cut her finger)
He was practiced at the art of deception (Will)
Well I could tell by his blood stained hands

You can’t always get what you want
But if you don’t stop with the feet, you’re gonna get what you need…….


Delilah Wednesday, September 05, 2001 - 10:59 pm
Another fav, "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John, revived by the fantastic movie "Almost Famous"

Big cry baby, B*tchy lady, masseuse for the house
Evil eyed, b*tchy smile, you’ve married a wealthy man
Monica, you must have seen her, rub my d*ck in the tub
And now she’s on me, always at me, her big boobs in my face

Nicole freaks out in the yard
Handing tickets out for foots*x
Turning back, she just laughs
The hottub is not that bad

Will the man, he makes his stand
in the diary room
Looking on, she whines and moans
The F words she knows, the way she moans

But oh how it feels so real
Sitting here with only Hardy near
Only you and you can feel me
When I say softly, slowly

Can you feel my toes now little Willy?
Count the net nerds on the highway
Lay me down in nice warm water
We’’ll have a busy night tonight

Big cry baby, B*tchy lady, masseuse for the house
Evil eyed, b*tchy smile, you’ve married a wealthy man
Monica, you must have seen her rub my d*ck in the tub
And now she’s on me, always at me, her big boobs in my face


Timwil Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 05:28 am
Sung to the tune of THE WAY WE WERE

Krista:

MEM'RIES
OF THEM FOLKS IN THAT THERE HOUSE
KINDA DRUNKEN, HAZY MEM'RIES
OF THE WAY IT WUZ

SO MUCH DRAMA
IT WAS MORE THAN I COULD BEAR
BOOZE AND NYQUILL-MY TRUE ALLIES
IN THE HOUSE THAT WUZ

CAN IT BE THAT I WAS JUST SO STUPID THEN
I BELIEVED THEIR EVERY LIE
JUSTIN TOLD ME HE COULD LOVE ME
AS HE TOUCHED MY NECK
WITH A KNIFE

MEM'RIES
I HAD SUCH A CHANCE TO WIN
HARDY'S GOAL IT WAS TO GET ME THERE
STABBED ME IN THE BACK INSTEAD

STILL I GOT EXPOSURE
I GOT A COMMERCIAL
OK IT'S FOR MALT LIQUOR
THAT'S THE WAY IT IS

UHHHH..THE WAY IT WUZ


Flyonthwall Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 09:25 am
To the tune of: It wasn't me. by Shaggy
Sung by Nicole

Honey tuned in and he caught me red-handed
Creeping with the boy named Will
Picture this we were both half-naked
playing in the hot tub's core
How could I forget
I had given him my okay
All this time he was watcin' the internet
never took his eyes off me

But he caught me in the hot tub
"It wasn't me"
Saw me playin' with a foot rub
"It wasn't me"
I even shaved Will in the shower
"It wasn't me"
He even caught me on camera
"It wasn't me"
He saw the tattoo on my shoulder
"It wasn't me"
Heard the words that I told him
"It wasn't me"
Heard the screams getting louder
"It wasn't me"
He told me it was over

____________________________
Follow up with:
Blame It On The Weatherman by B*witched
(original words...to good to change them)

it's just one more day
no one said
there would be rain again
won't blame it on my self ( yeah )
I'll blame it on the weatherman
Get away for a while
here I am out on my own again
won't blame it on my self ( yeah )
I'll blame it on the weatherman

standing on the shore
calling out your name
I was here before
I could see your face
only clouds will see
tears are in my eyes
empty like my heart
why do ya say goodbye

Chorus
The rain goes on (on and on again)
The rain goes on (on and on again)
The rain goes on (on and on again)


Yyms8 Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 10:15 am
You are all verrrry good! I have literally been ROTFLMAO!!

Though not a song, perhaps some of you creative writers will be kind enough to pen something to "The Declaration of Indpendence BB Style," i.e.,

We hold these lies to be self-evident that all HGs are not created equal, that among these are deceit, back-stabbing and the pursuit of money. -- That to secure these monies, Alliances are instituted among HG's, deriving their just powers from the gullibility of the allied, that whenever any form of Alliance becomes counter-productive of these ends, it is the right of the HG's to alter or to abolish and to institute a new Alliance, laying its foundation on such BS, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their winning half a mil. Greed, indeed, will dictate, that Alliances long established should be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that the Allied are more disposed to deceive, while honesty is punishable,...

(After some collaboration, perhaps we can send it to ASP for BB3.) Just a thought! LOL!


Timwil Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 10:32 am
Sung to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from MARY POPPINS

Nicole:

!@#$%^&*$%&!@#$%^&-ocious,
I don't give a **** it makes me sound ****ing atrocious
I just love to yell it though
it makes me feel precocious
!@#$%^&*%&!@#$%^&*%-ocious!!!!!!!!


Donut Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 11:27 am
Sung to "I Got You Babe
"Dont let them say that i'm a b*tch
even tho i'm always throwin fits
i'm just a sweet goddess playing a game
if things are f'd then i know who to blame
i blame you will , i blame you will
i blame will for my dropping the key
i blame will for making me pee
i blame will for my naughty toe
i blame will for the f'ing snow
i blame will for ringing that bell
i blame will the creator of hell
i blame will for my nomination
i blame will for the wars in all nations
I BLAME YOU WILL!


Mrsp Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 01:22 pm
to the tune of the Brady Bunch theme song:

Heres the story, of an insane lady
who was living in the Big Brother house
She was crying and constantly b*tchy
especially when her xanax ran out

Heres the story, of a guy named Hardy
the biggest bully in the house
they were bored and living all together
but they were not alone

Till the one day when the bully met the b*tch
and they new that it was much more than a hunch
that this groove, must somehow form an alliance
and thats the way they became the bully and the
b*tch

The bully and the b*tch
The bully and the b*tch
Thats the way they became te Bully and the B*tch


Bananabrains Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 01:49 pm
Ok, I've finally got one. It goes to the Star Spangled Banner, "Oh say can you see..."

Oh, say can you see the big brother's new plight
As so proudly Nic wailed as she started her screeming?
What was Will thinking then as he fought back with might
on the bed as we watched when Will started peeing?
And Nicole's eyes red glare, Will's farts bursting in air,
gave proof through the night that he was still there.
Say, when will that star-seeker Will win head of household
We don't think he will because he's too cold.


Weinermr Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 01:50 pm
This is not usually my style, but I can't help myself sometimes. Too much BB2.

Dedicated to Will, sung to the tune of an old show tune "Heart ("Gotta Have Heart") from Damn Yankees

You've gotta have fart,
All you really need is fart
When the odds are sayin'
you'll never win,
That's when the **it
should start.

You've gotta have dairy,
Must sit around and be airy,
Nothin's half as smelly as it may appear,
Don't wait'll next year cause it's scary.

When your luck is making you evil,
Get your towels up off the floor;
Mister, you can be a zero,
You can stink through any door,
there's nothin' to it,
but to do it,

You've gotta have fart,
Miles 'n' miles 'n' miles of fart,
Oh, it's fine to be an evil genius, of course,
but eat that ice cream}
before you start,
First you've gotta have fart.
First you've gotta have fart.


Mrsp Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 02:19 pm
Heres one more to the tune of the Sesame Street theme song LOL:

Sunny Day
Sweeping the banners away
on my way to win 500 g's
Can you tell me how to win
How to win the Big Brothe show

Come and play
being a cheat is OK
11 other houseguests there
for me to deceit

Can you tell me how to win
How to win the Big Brother show

It's an Emotional Roller coaster ride
The diary room door will open wide
to devious people just like you
Devious people like you
What a boring..

Sunny Day
sweeping the banners away
On my way to win 500 g's

Can you tell me how to win
How to win the Big Brother show

How to win the Big Brother show


Weinermr Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 02:39 pm
I'll Be There For You
By The Rembrandts
(theme song from TV show "Friends")
sung by Nicole to Hardy

So no one told you BB2 was gonna be this way [four claps]
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck next to my ear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but

CHORUS
I won't be there for you
(When Will starts to lie)
I won't be there for you
(Even though my eyes won't be dry)
I won't be there for you
'Cause you're (not) there for me too

You're still in bed at Noon and work began at eight
You've spilled your protein shake, things are going great
Your grandma warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell when Will K. has brought you down to your knees

CHORUS
I won't be there for you
(When Will starts to lie)
I won't be there for you
(Even though my eyes won't be dry)
I won't be there for you
'Cause you're (not) there for me too

No one could ever be like me, no one could ever seem like me
Seems you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with, scheme through all the rest with
Someone I'll always rule with
Even at my worst, I'm worst with you
best!

It's like you're always stuck next to my ear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but

CHORUS
I won't be there for you
(When Will starts to lie)
I won't be there for you
(Even though my eyes won't be dry)
I won't be there for you
'Cause you're (not) there for me too


Weinermr Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 03:11 pm
WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE
words and music by Pete Seeger

Where have all the banners gone?
Long time a flying
Where have all the banners gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the banners gone?
Net nerds have flown them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Survivors gone?
Long time playing
Where have all the Survivor's gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Survivor's gone?
Taken $15,000 every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the cigarettes gone?
Long time a smoking
Where have all the cigarettes gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the cigarettes gone?
Gone to ashes every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the toothbrushes gone?
Long time cleaning
Where have all the toothbrushes gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the toothbrushes gone?
Gone into toilets every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the houseguests gone?
Long time plotting
Where have all the houseguests gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the houseguests gone?
Covered by CBS every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?


Donut Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 03:21 pm
To the tune of I DID IT MY WAY

At last the time has come
for us to see the final showdown
and save us from this boredom
since the show has really slowed down
We'd hate, yes really hate
to see a show that wasn't jammin'
Cuz more, much more than that,
WE HATE BACKGAMMON!!


Timwil Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 03:35 pm
Sung to the tune of I'LL BE WATCHING YOU

Nicole: (to Will)

Every lie you make
every jump in a lake
every fart you break
everyTHING, you fake
I'll be stalking you

When you're on the street
you will feel my heat
I'll be on your case
I'll be in your face
I'll be stalking you

Oh, can't you see
you ****ing belong to me, you mother****er,
my pure heart aches
When you eat my cakes

You are in my heart
you are in my head
I can't get you out
I'll take any route
Just to see you...wed.

I'll be stalking you....


Weinermr Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 03:51 pm
Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel

People living their lives for you on TV
They say they're better than you and you don't agree
Another game, another tofu dog, some cussing
A wish in the well, hope your health don't go to hell, well
Another doctor's pill, Nic's lawyer Drew,
Another cute cheap thrill
You know he loves her if Jeff puts up with her too

CHORUS:
Who will save your soul when it comes to the power
Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy
Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?

You try to hustle them, try to muscle them, try to cuss them
Mon wants someone to bust down in Head of Household Room
Another day, another dollar, another HOH, another tower went up where Ophelia had her home
So we pray to as many LF posters as there are flowers
But we call A S our friend
We're so worried about saving our feeds
Afraid that Real Player will take its toll
That we forget to refresh

CHORUS:
Who will save your soul when it comes to the power
Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy
Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?

Some are walking, some are talking, some are stalking their kill
You get a stipend, but that don't pay your bills
There are addictions to live feeds and there are mouths to shut
So you bargain with Dr. Devil, say you're OK for today,
You say that you love them, take their money and run
Say, it's been swell, sweetheart, but it was just one of those things
Those flings, those strings on Shannon's butt,
So get in the showers, boys, and shave your *UTS.

CHORUS:
Who will save your soul when it comes to the power
Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy
Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?


Oregonfire Thursday, September 06, 2001 - 05:24 pm
Coldplay's "Yellow" (I bet you know where I'm going with this one)

Look at the stars
see how they pee for you
on B&B 2
and it was all yellow

They grabbed a key
and sat for hours too
but no one pooed
it was all yellow

I don't know what
what they're fightin' for
Nic's hand moved
and Hardy's out the door
I ask myself
is it worth $20 for?

You know they hate us so

Will's a liar
he threw the comp too
but Nic's hand moved
and now her pill's yellow

I sat and watched
and saw the pee too
but not on B&B 2
now I'm all yellow

It's true
look how they pee for you

look how they pee

Look at the stars
see how they pee for you
on B&B 2
and it was all yellow


Donut Friday, September 07, 2001 - 12:04 am
sung to I COULD HAVE DANCED ALL NIGHT
from MY FAIR LADY

i could have watched all nite, i could have watched all nite and even watched some more
i couldve watched Will sing then watch him boot the king then watched that old front door
i'll never know why i cant leave my laptop,
or why Will's FUPA makes things right-
I only know that I
miss watching Bunky cry
and i will watch til it turns light!

Bothofus} Friday, September 07, 2001 - 07:54 pm}
My attempt....Twinkle Twinkle Little BB Star

Whimper whimper little crier
How can you be such a lier
Sitting in as head of household
Thinking you have won the gold
Hardly Hardly going to win
Now that you have kept Will in.

Timwil} Friday, September 07, 2001 - 08:11 pm}
Sung to the tune of YOU DON'T SEND ME FLOWERS

Nicole (to the sky-and Jeff):

YOU DON'T SEND ME BANNERS
YOU DON'T LIFT MY SPIRITS
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M SO ****ING DEPRESSED
AND I'VE ONLY GOT XANAX TO HELP THROUGH THE DAYS

I REMEMBER WHEN
JEFF WOULD SEND ME BANNERS
THEY WOULD SAY I LOVE YOU
BUT EVER SINCE THAT NIGHT IN THAT TUB
JEFF HAS PROBABLY STOPPED HIS ACCOUNT WITH THE PLANE

IT USED TO BE SO FABULOUS
GETTING ALL THOSE MESSAGES
I KNEW I WAS LOVED
AND I KNEW HE WAS MINE
NOW HE THINKS I'M A Edited
AND I'M FAR FROM DIVINE
BUT I WISH HE WOULD KNOW
THAT WE'RE ALL OUT OF WINE

HE DON'T SEND ME BANNERS
WHERE THE ****S MY XANAX
HE DON'T SEND ME BANNERS
ANYMORE
(007)


Esperanza Friday, September 07, 2001 - 08:40 pm
I Still Haven't Guessed When They're Watching Me
sung to the U2 tune of a similar name

I have clung to the highest morals
I have sat by myself
Only to be true blue
Simply to be true blue

I have seen, I have heard
I've been lied to & I've been cursed
Only to be true blue
But I still haven't guessed
when they're watching me
But I still haven't guessed
when the jury is watching me

I have missed my Brooklyn pack
Felt their praise upon my back
It burns like fire
This money desire
I have spoke with the tongue of gibberish
I have saved a lying devil
It's been hot in LA
I've been cold every day
But I still haven't guessed
when they're watching me
No I still haven't guessed
when they're watching me

I believe The Money will Come
The evictees I respected will vote me home
But yes I'm still wonderin'
She called me 'explosive'
She said I'm a cannon
She said I'm angry
I am ashamed
I am ashamed
You know I believe Sheryl
But I still haven't guessed
when they're watching me
No I still haven't guessed
when they're watching me


Sharla Friday, September 07, 2001 - 08:54 pm
To the tune "Misty"

Look at me
I am sitting here in someone else's pee
Somehow my shoulder is wet
I'll vote out that threat
Take a shower & be on TV


Timwil Friday, September 07, 2001 - 09:15 pm
Sung to the tune of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Nicole:

EVER SINCE HE LEFT
I DON'T FEEL COMPLETE
HE'S THE ONE I NEED
HE'S THE ONE I FEED
HARDY WAS SO SWEET

TONED AND BUFFED AND YOUNG
DOWN TO EVERY STITCH
WE'RE THE PERFECT PAIR
IN EVERYBODY'S HAIR
BEAUTY AND THE B****

BUT WILL THREW HIM OUT
I CAN'T STAND THAT LUG
I MIGHT HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING LIKE A STEW
MIGHT GIVE HIM A BUG

HARDY COULD BE BACK
TRYING TO GET RICH
BACK HERE BY MY SIDE
THEY'LL HAVE TO DECIDE
BEAUTY OR THE B****

WE'RE THE ONES TO BEAT
THEY CAN KISS OUR FEET
BEAUTY AND THE B****


Timwil Saturday, September 08, 2001 - 09:27 am

sung to the tune of BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Nicole:

HARDY'S SUCH A HUNK
BRONZED AND BUFFED AND YOUNG
BUT WILL THREW HIM OUT
HE WILL PAY, NO DOUBT
I'LL KICK HIM IN THE LUNG

WE WERE QUITE THE PAIR
DOWN TO EVERY STITCH
MONARCHS OF THE HOUSE
FLAMES NO ONE COULD DOUSE
BEAUTY AND THE B****

TIL WILL DID HIS THING
ON NATIONAL TV
WHAT am I TO DO
PERHAPS I'LL MAKE A STEW
MAKE WILL SICK, OH GEE

HARDY'S THEN BROUGHT BACK
THEN WE'LL WIN THIS THING
I'LL BE ONE, HE'S TWO
THE REST CAN EAT POO POO
BEAUTY AND THE B****

WE'LL PROVE TO THEM ALL
WE COULD NEVER FALL
BEAUTY AND THE B****


Sharla Saturday, September 08, 2001 - 09:57 am
To the tune of "Crazy" By Patsy Cline

Lazy, why is our Monya so lazy?
Lazy, why can't she get off her feet?
I know, she'll probably take home the jackpot.

She's lazy, not cryin',
Yes lazy, not lying
She moves not but avoids defeat!

Same song(sorry, stuck here) Jeff to Nicole

BB, why is my wife still on BB?
Screamin & constantly cryin' boo-hoo?
She's nuts, but I bet that's just what they wanted
Good God, I gotta find someone new!

Furry, why does she care if they're furry?
Shavin', shavin' their butts & yahoos?
Oh no, she's toeing that kid in the hot tub!

Well, she says he's lyin'
But live feeds are pryin
And Xanax is running out, too!


Timwil Saturday, September 08, 2001 - 03:58 pm
Sung to the tune of MOON RIVER

Mike:

BIG BROTHER
MAN, I SHOULD HAVE WON
I THOUGHT IT'S IN THE BAG FOR ME

SHA-PIRO
HE SAID I KNOW
BUT I CAN'T KEEP THOSE FOLKS
FROM CANNING YOUR A**, SO

I'M AT
BELLY
DOING WHAT I CAN
TO GET MY ASSETS BACK ON TV

SO JEFF VARNER PLEASE
PUT ME ON YOUR SHOW
DON'T LIKE LAYIN LOW
I'LL SPILL ON WHAT I KNOW
BIG BROTHER
YOU BLOW


Sharla Saturday, September 08, 2001 - 10:10 pm
To "No Business Like Show Business"

There's no bitchn like Nicoles bitchn
There's no bitchn I know

Everything about it is apalling
Everything the censors will allow

Nowhere can you go to hear such bawling
Why is Will crawling and eating crow?

Yet he's lying while she's crying
And Mons just laying low

Thursday they will find out whos left in the race
And who'll lose face
And then the votes will be told

Let's go on with the show!


Goatgirl Monday, September 10, 2001 - 09:25 am
Will is the "One" (U2)
**********************

Nic was getting bitter
Hardy felt the same
Monica was head of household
Who's the guy they blame
Nic say...

Will lost
Will lies
When the banner shows
Nic cries
Will spins
I didn't say fat
You don't need xanax, you need a
Straightjacket

I did disappoint you
And left a bad smell in the house
You wiped my pee off of the floor
But you want me to wash the towels
Cuz its...

Too heavy
Too hard
To drag the basket into the yard
I'm Will, and I play the game
I get to
Betray the others
Betray the others
Will...

I have come to ride in copter
I have come to soil the bed
I have come here to play doctor
Saved a pig from drowning dead

I did lie too much
More than a lot
Took the mystery prize
PB jar's all I got
I'm Will
And I play the game
When we
Met Survivors
Thought their stories were lame
I say
Laugh with Doc Evil
Laugh at them all
Laugh with Doc Evil
Laugh at them all
With my thing for shaving
How come my hair's so tall
And I won't be moving on
To Julie Chen
Til all of you are gone

Will's bad
Will's good
Will lies
I had to do what I could

Will wins
Over ***holes
Hardys
Nicoles

Will wins
Cause I played the game
I got to
Betray the others
Betray the others

Will...

Will...


Donut Saturday, September 15, 2001 - 09:30 am
Sung to that old overused favorite THE FLINSTONES (which i am}
watching right now)

When your name's Will Kirby
and you are lactose intolerant
You should not eat ice cream}
Unless you want to hear your stomach grunt.
Now here comes a really foul breeze
from the courtesy of some swiss cheese
When you're with Will Kirby
have a really, really fun time
You've got the runs time
you'll have a poopy time!


Donut Saturday, September 15, 2001 - 09:20 pm
sung with deep admiration to the tune of ALLISON by elvis costello

well its so strange to not be seeing you
after so long girl
and the way you look is off the hook
and we are all impressed
We've heard the words you've spoken all this time
and think you're just the best
Monica
I know this world is thrilled by you
oh Monica
your aim is true


Donut Saturday, September 15, 2001 - 10:56 pm
sung to her favorite artist's song BEN

Mon, the BB Fans need look no more
you're the winner we were looking for
girl, you really had it awwwnn
and we're so sad you're gone
we think you shoulda won
we have a friend in Mon


Weinermr Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 10:20 pm
Layla (by Eric Clapton and Jim Gordon)
as sung by Will Kirby
(Derek and the Dominoes version)

What'll you do when you get angry
And nobody's scheming by your side?
You've been brushing and scrubbing much too long.
You know it's just your foolish pride.

Shannon, you've got men on their knees.
Shannon, I'm begging, darling please.
Shannon, darling won't you ease my Evil mind.

I tried to give you consolation
When your young Jim had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned Big Brother upside down.

Shannon, you've got men on their knees.
Shannon, I'm begging, darling please.
Shannon, darling won't you ease my Evil mind.

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I drive Nicole insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me Chilltown's in vain.

Shannon, you've got men on their knees.
Shannon, I'm begging, darling please.
Shannon, darling won't you ease my Evil mind.

Shannon, you've got men on their knees.
Shannon, I'm begging, darling please.
Shannon, darling won't you ease my Evil mind.


Donut Monday, September 24, 2001 - 07:42 pm
just couldnt bear to see these guys leave and they were the last thread at the end of the page doomed for disappearance..

oh no, i guess i will add one while i am here:

sung to:
Theres a place for us (from West side story)
(sung by will and shannon)

Theres a part for us
somewhere a part for us
I'll show money (W)
and I'll show skin (S)
film directors will
call us in
someday, somewhere
i'll find a soap that wants hairless (W)
I'll find a film that wants rearless (S)
someday
there'll be fame for us
we'll make a name for us
tho we didnt get publicity
and mike upstaged us down on his knee
someday somewhere
They'll all love me cuz i'm funny (W)
I just love you for the money (S)
someday, somewhere, sometime!


Donut Thursday, September 27, 2001 - 10:35 pm
sung to MELLOW YELLOW

We're just mad about Will's shirt
and Will's shirt's mad about us
we're just mad about Will's shirt
and Will's shirt's causing a fuss
Is Will's shirt Peach or Yellow
Quite rightly
Is Will's shirt Peach or Yellow
or just unsightly?


Weinermr Tuesday, October 02, 2001 - 03:53 pm
The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme

Who can turn the world on with his grin?
Who can take a nothing House, and suddenly make sure he's going to win?
Well it's you Will, and you should know it
With each smirk to every other houseguest you show it
Lies are all around, no need to waste them
You can have the bucks, why don't you take them
You're gonna win it after all
You're gonna win it after all

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, boy this time you're not alone
'Cause it's Shannon you started loving
It's time you let someone else do some groveling
Lies are all around, no need to waste them
You can have the bucks, why don't you take them
You're gonna win it after all
You're gonna win it after all