Author |
Message |
Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 5:48 pm
But in Sun's supposition we have added a huge amount of background that we have absolutely no evidence exists. As far as I know, she certainly has never given any indication of that in her conversations about her life before she met Brendon. I would feel very sorry for that Rachel - if that Rachel exists. I just don't think that anyone knows. A lot of people seem angry that Brendon would do this and think it is his fault. Should we feel sorry for Brendon as well? Maybe he was abused as a child? I hope you understand that I'm not being facetious here and making fun of what could be a very serious problem. I do take it seriously. I just don't know one way or the other.
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Lainee
Member
07-19-2005
| Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 5:52 pm
Jimmer, I would never think that of you...and I only used Sunshyne's supposition to show how those "years" could be conditioned from a child. No we do not know that about Rachel...and no we do not know that about Brendon. I have only ever said that I was where Rachel is...how she got there I do not know...how I got there (and got to where I am now ) I could tell yoy, but two years now we have had this topic of abuse in regard to BB and I hope to never have it again! 
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 6:39 pm
Yes, some of this is Rachel's fault. She has such a nasty disposition and such a vile mouth that I bet it's hard for a lot of people to have empathy for her. She treats people as bad as Brendan treats her.
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Costacat
Member
07-15-2000
| Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 6:47 pm
You're also making assumptions in only one direction. If those things did happen to Rachel, it does NOT mean that she would allow someone to mistreat her now. Just because you had abuse at one point doesn't mean you'll still allow it. You are all making assumptions but only in one direction. Rachel is an attention hog. She figured out long ago that she gets to extend her 15 minutes by hanging out with Brendon, her "man." He figured out the same thing about the same time so they did a showmance thing. The sad thing is they are not so co-dependent that I don't think either could be a decent "other half" in any other relationship.j
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-16-2003
| Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 8:32 pm
i only talked about supposition in one direction because of the comments suggesting Rachel had abuse coming to her. and that she deserves it i have no doubt brendan has some extremely serious issues he needs to deal with. This obsessive need to control and belittle Rachel reeks of a Little Boy who is used to getting his way. Commanding massages, Commanding her to Stand up, sit down, commanding to shhhh and then accusing of yelling when She replies in a Normal level of speech he also seems to have a weird idea of what an argument is. i've seen rachel sit quietly and not respond and Br Still will say DONT argue with me if Rach even LOOKS like she is going to say something
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Grendelsmom
Member
07-31-2005
| Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 10:06 pm
It wasn't that Rachel deserves it; the question was whether she has any responsibility here. I don't know how to answer that. Of course we are all responsible for ourselves. Even when we have been set up in every way to be victims by our lives, we (as adults) are still responsible for the decisions that get us into the situations we find ourselves in. The scenario of the "problem child" described above could, with a few changes, be my story. The last mean, controlling, abusive man I got involved with was an emotional sadist and a semi-stalker. I was certainly set up by my life to get into that relationship, but I was still responsible for making the decision. I was also responsible for making the decisions that got myself and my child (finally) away from him, without my son ever having to have lived with him. If I get credit for the latter, surely I have to take responsibility for the former--or else I would be made into an infantilized, powerless person with no self-determination, wouldn't I? I tend to think so.
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Lainee
Member
07-19-2005
| Friday, August 19, 2011 - 2:53 am
Grendelsmom, I am right there with you...I have accepted responsibility for my part in my past and for my childhood...but my childhood is what put me in the place I was...where Rachel seems to be now (NOTE the SEEMS) and I have stated before I have empathy for her.
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Llkoolaid
Member
08-01-2001
| Friday, August 19, 2011 - 9:21 am
Those of us who are lucky enough not to have found ourselves in that position, are only wondering why and putting forth possibilities, none of us has said this is why..., we have said it could be because..../ I find most insight in Grendelsmom and Lainee's posts because they have been there, thankfully are in better places now. Oh and Jadabean, I totally disagree with every word of your post.
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Lainee
Member
07-19-2005
| Friday, August 19, 2011 - 10:05 am
Llkoolaid, I messaged you... 
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Llkoolaid
Member
08-01-2001
| Friday, August 19, 2011 - 10:14 am
Read it and replyed Lainee, thank you
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Lainee
Member
07-19-2005
| Friday, August 19, 2011 - 11:32 am
Oh dear...I haven't gotten your reply...
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