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Rieann
Member
08-26-2006
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 7:04 am
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f*cked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f*ckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? From the Movie Goodfellas-Joe Pesci's Character
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Rieann
Member
08-26-2006
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 7:06 am
OOPS! I thought I was in the caption this thread, Mods, will you please move it? SORRY!
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Rosem4243
Member
06-27-2005
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 8:19 am
Actually, maybe this should be in its own thread. This is during the fight he had with Rachel, and in the screen cap thread there are even more photos of his enraged face. I am really frightened for Rachel. I know she's not the most likeable person, and I know that some people say 'well, she feeds into it' - but I really think she has no idea who her 'fiance' really is.
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Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 8:34 am
Rosem, I think there is a bit of truth in both those statements.
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Earthmother
Member
07-13-2002
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 8:46 am
Last night when she stood up to him for the first time, he got way too angry for it to be just about game. She has managed to keep herself in this game and he is a two time loser at keeping himself in this game and so of course he has to remind her that it was "him" who saved her by using the veto on her. The truth is that even if he had saved himself he would have been out last week fighting to get back in, but Rachel has not been evicted. He needs to get a clue that it's his game that sucks, she manages to stay afloat, especially when he's gone.
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Lillian
Member
07-29-2009
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 9:00 am
It's unfortunate that women often do this - they fall in love, and immerse themselves completely in their man's life, often cutting off ties to their old life (family, friends, in Rachel's case her whole life in Vegas), and in this case, encouraged by Brendan who won't even let Rachel take a waitress job. Even when warned or seeing it themselves, women often fancy they are the Only One Who Understands Him or The One Who Will Make Things Different. (see Ashley and Bentley on The Bachelorette) I see this in Rachel in a big way - it doesn't matter what people say to her or that she likely sees some of it herself - it's only likely to make her even more determined to make it work (look how competitive and determined she already is). My only hope is that her family and friends, who have likely already tried, will see what's going on this summer in front of the world, and try again. Telling her to stay away from Brendan will have the opposite effect - what they need to do is support her, be part of her life, not give up, and give her the strength to figure out for herself that this is a bad relationship, and the courage and support to do something about it. Seeing how volatile these two are, it could get ugly, and while I'm sure no one wants it to happen, it might finally be the trigger that gets her away from this jerk.
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Calimom3
Member
07-12-2007
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 9:14 am
I think Rachel finally felt strong/safe enough to stand up to him because of the setting, she knew he couldn't say/do what be does at home during their fights... He always tells her how things "must change" & uses words like "mature" & "adults" when they discuss their future... How/WHY does he forsee change?! I see it escalating in a negative way, their fights are more frequent and more aggressive and UNhealthy. How ANYone can call this "love" is just contributing to the cycle. They are very immature to think a "dream wedding" will fix/end their fights, we see it happen NIGHTLY! He thinks he's the mature, level-headed one. He says he WON'T watch this season------ he should, he may see what WE all see!
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Earthmother
Member
07-13-2002
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 9:23 am
Relationships based on changing that person into who you want them to be never work. Either he loves her for who she is or he loves the control he has over her. Either way it is sick and I don't think it is safe or healthy for her. She is not his barbie doll she is a person with her own personality, so if all he wants to do is change her then he really doesn't love Rachel.
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What555456
Member
06-14-2005
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 9:33 am
I understand all the concern for Rachel, but it is important to remember she is getting something out of this relationship too -- grotesque though it may be. It seems clear it is a dysfunctional relationship -- but only because both are dysfunctional and each is getting something they need by continuing this. Each has something in the psyche that is being satisfied. Unfortunately, I think there is the added pressure that they each want the pseudo-celebrity and are willing to put up with whatever it takes to maintain their 15 minutes -- and they need to stay together to do that. However, when one reads about the suicide of Russell Armstrong from Real Housewives on Beverly Hills, one can see just how destructive wanting/needing that 15 minutes of fame that reality TV gives its participants can be.
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Maggiemay08
Member
08-13-2009
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 9:44 am
This is the definition of a codependent individual: Sounds a lot like Rachel! (this was in the AOL health news this morning) A codependent individual is hyper-vigilant, like a bear protecting its cub. She may also exhibit compulsive behaviors — which can be sexual or come in the form of excessive work, exercise, eating, spending money, anorexia, or nicotine addiction. Here are eight signs of codependency: Having difficulty making decisions in a relationship Having difficulty identifying your own feelings Having difficulty communicating in a relationship Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
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Puttergirl
Member
08-11-2000
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 9:55 am
What I've never understood about Brendon is that he fell in love with "Vegas" Rachel. And now he just wants to erase Vegas Rachel.
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Rosem4243
Member
06-27-2005
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 10:04 am
Yep, Puttergirl, I always say that Brendon is in love with Rachel, he just wishes she was a different girl. They should have never returned to BB. Maggiemay - yes, those signs describe Rachel to a tee.
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Mizinvanccouver
Member
02-21-2003
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 10:06 am
I don't think he fell in love with 'Vegas Rachel'. I think he fell in love with 'Scientist Rachel' last year on BB. The both had science in common and then there was the physical attraction. By the way, I have seen Rachel stand up to Brendon before, last night was not a first.
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Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 10:07 am
WOW... excellent points made by everyone in this thread !!! I wonder if any of those warnings last year by Brenden's former fianceé about his control issues are starting to "click with her."
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 10:11 am
Up until now, I've heard talk of how destructive this relationship is and how bad he is for her. I thought, okay, there's some major codependency there, but it's no big deal. Well watching them on BBAD last night, frankly I was frightened for her. The most troubling moment for me was his continual insistance that she sit down on the bed, and he badgered her until, to placate him, she did. Each time she tried to calm him, and even when she agreed with him, he just ignored whatever he was saying and ratched up his rage towards her. Ugly stuff. His menacing attitude combined with those rippling muscles... I kept thinking well he won't get physical cuz of all the cameras. BUT then I thought, oh mercy, what if they weren't on camera? I truly hope someone who really loves her, sits her down and makes her watch this when she gets home. Praying it will get through to her. She's not stupid, she's just emotionally damaged. I'd like to think that she will shake him loose and wake up before it's too late. That young man seriously needs anger management therapy!
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Mameblanche
Member
08-24-2002
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 10:40 am
Oops... that should read 'he just ignored whatever SHE was saying' in my prev post.
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-16-2003
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 11:01 am
i woke up this morning thinking about how angry Brendan got. Many of us thought he was going to hit rachel back the first time he was in the house, there were pics of him with clenched fists. i was shocked when he actually PUNCHED right beside her leg on the bed like he was hoping she would panic. i was then shocked at Rachel's taunting reaction "Oh arent you a big man?" or something like that. In the real world outside, i think the next punch would have been to the face. Deeply distrubing. DR called rachel away and Brendan starting saying that they were calling her to straighten her out (like a child being reprimanded) mind you, we finally got to see rachel stand up a bit
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Sunshyne4u
Member
06-16-2003
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 11:02 am
maggie's post -stamped
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What555456
Member
06-14-2005
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 11:24 am
Having watched it, I felt that DR called Rachel in because BB themselves were concerned for her safety. It was their way of breaking Brendon's ever-increasing anger.
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Callasin
Member
06-21-2005
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 11:29 am
I watched it this morning. Brendon just kept going on and on starting from the beginning every time she stood up for herself. He would not let go. He needs to shut up and listen to her whether he agrees or not. It's part of growing up and being in a healthy relationship.
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Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 11:41 am
True Callasin, but they are not in a healthy relationship.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-30-2000
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 11:55 am
They may have decided to call her first because of the argument, but they were scheduled to call everyone in to do goodbye messages.
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Lillian
Member
07-29-2009
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 12:47 pm
I don't think Brendan fell in love with Vegas Rachel or Scientist Rachel. I think Brendan is in love with himself, and saw an opportunity to enhance his own self image with a hot girlfriend and a woman who worships him, and that he can control. Rachel is nuts, but she's also a loving, generous person. I think she wants someone to love and care for who will love and care for her back. She's also someone blinded by his good looks (her view, not mine) and education because she wants someone strong and accomplished who she can look up to. Brendan in any relationship is all shades of wrong (see former girlfriend). He will always want to feed his ego, and will continue to seek out women he can control. Rachel OTOH could easily have a long and happy relationship with the right person who will accept all the love she wants to give, at the same time as encouraging her and supporting her to be her own person. Many women have a guy like Brendan in their past, and the experience makes them more ready to recognize the right guy when he does come along, and be stronger and mature enough to make that relationship work.
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Lillian
Member
07-29-2009
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 12:48 pm
PS that screencap above makes me ill.
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Jadajean
Member
03-23-2008
| Wednesday, August 17, 2011 - 1:01 pm
Sorry, don't think all of this is just Brendan. Rachel also needs to work on herself and her numerous issues before she can have a healthy adult relationship.
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