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Archive through July 31, 2011

Reality TVClubHouse Discussions: Big Brother USA ARCHIVES: Big Brother 13 - Part 3: Educate me about Prejudice.: Archive through July 31, 2011 users admin

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Oliviamimi
Member

05-30-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 3:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Oliviamimi a private message Print Post    
Oh Gus, sorry for you and sorry for that little girl. Yes that is a classic example of racism. Being raised in Tenn. I had similar experiences. Some against me because of my complexion. That is very sad. Funny how we remember those things so clearly even now.

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 4:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
I have watched re-runs of "What Would You Do".

I have seen the episode twice where they have an actor stealing a bike that is chained. The use a white guy a black guy and a beautiful blond girl.

The black guy had all sorts of white people telling him to stop.

The white guy had a few people try to stop him.

The blond girl had an old guy help her take it while his wife looked on!

All the people interviewed said the color of the 'thief' didn't matter, but it really seemed to.

What they didn't do, is send their crew into a predominantly black area and do the same thing.

My first thought was maybe it would be too dangerous.

Is this me being prejudice???

I know there are black areas here where black taxi and pizza drivers wont go.

I don't know what to think about myself for feeling this way.

Shenanagon
Member

07-28-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 7:02 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Shenanagon a private message Print Post    
I had the same impression about pit bulls prior to rescuing one by accident. I got my pit at 8 months of age covered in dog bites. A friend that lived in the country brought the dog to me because my 12 year old Rottweiler had just died. I also can't have children and my friends know how much dogs mean to me. So long story short I didn't want the 7 month old pit but agreed to foster until a home could be found. So I take the pit that answered to Brew according to my friend he was the bait dog. I had no idea what a bait dog was. I took "Brew" to the vet and learned alot about "bait dogs". The vet told me that "Brew" was small for his age and was likely the runt of the litter and that people who raise pit's to fight will neuter the runts at birth tie them to a tree once they are weaned and then train the runts siblings to attack it and gain confidence in their fight skills. The runt is worthless to these dog fighters so if it dies no biggie.

Months passed and "Brew" became "Brutus" and a part of my family. He'd been abused, the vet said it was his impression because Brutus would shake and tremble at loud noise and showed signs of trauma, the wounds and his very submissive behavior.

So 7 years go by and he's the love of my neighborhood. He has no instincts to kill anything and lives with a cat.

But that's the thing with prejudice, prior to owning Brutus and learning what a wonderful animal he is I would never have owned a pit.

It's a dog, not a lion, not a demon from hell bent on death and killing. Any dog can attack. Most dog bites do not come from pits they are way down on the list for the most dog bites the problem comes because PEOPLE train them to attack. You can train any dog to attack. You feed it you are it's Master it depends on you for life. Brutus would do whatever I wanted he loves me I love him.

There are many prejudices toward people, dogs, tattoos, gays, and it's all fear and ignorance.

I was ignorant too until I owned one.

shenanagon

Rainlvr
Member

05-28-2004

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 7:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rainlvr a private message Print Post    
I had to jump in and add my two cents here. Most people use words that they hear in their daily lives. My husband constantly says "bro" "brother" "sister", because that's what he grew up hearing/saying. I say it, too, because I hear it all the time! I call friends, co-workers, and occasionally a stranger that I strike up a conversation with in a public place, "girlfriend", because the people around me say it and I picked up the habit. It's not a race thing it's a culture/environment thing! My husband is Puerto Rican, I am Irish/German and live in a very multi-cultural area.

Let's move on to tattoos...lol. I am a white, middle-aged woman and I got my first tattoo 3 years ago. I now have 3--one is a butterfly with my children's names under it on my calf; one has flowers and a vine on my foot; and one has hearts and flowers on my chest. I don't smoke, rarely drink; I work, am happily married, have three children (who are, for the most part, pretty well-adjusted! lol); I am studying to get a teaching degree in between said work and taking care of my family. This is the new face of tattoo wearers!!

Monique
Member

06-16-2011

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 7:50 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Monique a private message Print Post    
First time poster....lurking for years. I thought this was an interesting question.

In reading on of the blogs, it said "Brendon doesn't want a black person to win" (Lawon/Kalia). Does anyone know if he actually said that?

As a black person, I too would be offended if someone said "girlfriend" or "sistah/sister" to me unless they knew me well. I don't think being in the house a few weeks constitutes as knowing someone well. Call me sensitive or "pulling the race card" whatever but I wouldn't appreciate it. }Did Jeff use that term on any other female in the house or just Kalia?

I think all people have some racism in them (to some extent). Maybe not mean (such as the pool incident above) but a little prejudice.

For the people that say "I'm not racist. Some of my best friends are black" or "I don't have a prejudice bone in my body" (the list goes on and on), ask yourself if you would be upset if your "best black friend" had a son that married your white daughter or vice versa. Be honest.

Lainee
Member

07-19-2005

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 7:58 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lainee a private message Print Post    
Hiya Monique and welcome to posting...

I have a son who is in to the shock value of what he says. He came to me one time (he was about 21) and said he was going to marry a Mexican girl...my response "Okay. As long as you love her and she loves you, then I could care less who you marry." He never did marry that girl...but he will still come out with some things designed to shock and my response is always "It's your life son, as long as you happy then I am happy for you." And it is true...as long as all three of my children are happy with the lives they have made for themselves, then I am not particular what they do...as long as it is legal! LOL

Rainlvr
Member

05-28-2004

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 8:20 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Rainlvr a private message Print Post    
It's funny how people have such different perceptions...I started a new job 6 months ago where none of my black co-workers thought twice about calling me "girlfriend" even though they had only known me a few weeks and it felt perfectly natural for me to hear it and respond in kind.

And I don't see inter-racial/inter-cultural marriage as anything but the norm because that's what I live and breathe every day. Racism and prejudices spawn from unfamiliarity because it's easy to fear the unknown.

Lainee
Member

07-19-2005

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 8:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lainee a private message Print Post    
Too true, Rainlvr!

Shenanagon
Member

07-28-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 8:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Shenanagon a private message Print Post    
Nice post Rain :-)

You remind me why I'm so thankful I live in Fairfield California.

At a night course at our local community college our instructor informed us in 2006 that our small Solano Community College had more mixed race students than any other college in California. There'd been a study done based on the selections for race students make on enrollment. He said it's likely because of Travis AFB near by.

Alot of airmen marry women from other countries while they are stationed overseas. My mother is foreign my dad military, all my friends growing up are much the same. As kids in school together in the 1980's we'd meet a new classmate and we'd all guess what their mix was. My best friend had a Japanese mother, she married a mexican guy. I grew up and married a wonderful man that is half black and half french, not Creole actually French, he was born in France and grew up there until he was ten then his father retired in Fairfield like my dad did and tons of other families. We all grew up together there was never one group of folks that outnumbered anyone. I love Fairfield because we are so multi-cultural and I'd never live anywhere else.

Maineiac
Member

08-24-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 8:51 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Maineiac a private message Print Post    
Gusmonster, your story brought tears to my eyes. Did you and Shelly stay friends or did it end that day?

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
For me, my breed prejudice rests more in size than an individual breed. The bigger the dog the worse the bite.

Having said that, give me a pit bull over a chow or rottweiler any day. Most pit bulls are nice.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:08 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
Gus, that story is heart wrenching. Did you and Shelly get to remain friends? If not, have you ever tried to look her up?

Shen, your pictures are too cute for words.

Monique, your post reminded me of something a comedian said. (I think it was Chris Rock but not positive) He said that if a person says 'Im not racist but..' you just know the next thing that comes out of their mouth will be something that would make the Klan proud. I cracked up and then kinda sobered up cuz it's very true and sad.

Oliviamimi
Member

05-30-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:11 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Oliviamimi a private message Print Post    
Monique to answer your question. I have one unmarried son and if he married for love I wouldn't care what color or ethnic background. In my world, community and work this is the norm. My background is of mixed races, indian, spanish and black, so I am dark complected. My husband is Dutch and very fair. He didn't experience what I did growing up but he married me! He would be fine with whoever my son chose.
I am 56 and remember pre 63 vote. My sisters and I were once denied entrance to a movie because we were considered to be of color. < brought up in Tennessee>

Mummy35332
Member

09-09-2005

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:15 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mummy35332 a private message Print Post    
Shen as you said any dog can attack. Make no mistake, even after all this time, if you are ever in danger, that dog (any dog) will defend you as best it can. As you said, you feed him, you are his master, he depends on you. And because of his breed he will be labeled.

No animal is completely docile. Even my birds would go after someone attacking me.

I was asking more about people in this thread rather than different species. I do see what you are saying and I understand what you are saying.

I was just hoping for posts more like Dogdoc's post (can't wait for answers to that) than about animals. I was hoping for more example's of what is the wrong thing to say to other races. From all sides.

I'm treading a thin line here since my first grandchild is of mixed race. I see glances that make me think I have said the wrong thing. I just don't know what it is that I said. I have outright asked and been told that Momma wasn't offended (mixed race also), but her Dad would have been offended. But, I am never told why.

This is why I keep using examples from conversations in BB.

Lazylu
Member

04-09-2010

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:21 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Lazylu a private message Print Post    
It does make it hard to know what to say sometimes. When I grew up, blacks were called colored or negro. I understand now both are racist words.

Maineiac
Member

08-24-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:24 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Maineiac a private message Print Post    
I am the biggest bleeding heart dog lover there is, with that said, I've always been told every breed of dog can turn on you and bite.
I believe a dogs personality is shaped by it's owners.
A year ago in March, we had to put down our 14 year old Chow. He was the sweetest thing ever. When we first got him, we were faced with scrutiny from everyone because we had a baby and one on the way. "How in the world could we own a Chow they are so mean" is what we heard from friends and strangers. It had me a little concerned until one friend said don't listen to everyone, a dogs behavior is determined by how we raise him. Down the road, we had people tell us he was the sweetest, calmest Chow they had ever met. We kept him around tons of kids and people all the time. We loved on him and treated him as good as our own kids. When we had to make the decision to put him down, it was the hardest thing we ever had to do. My 14 yr old daughter won't agree to get another dog becasue she is still grieving and feels like she would be betraying him.

Pamy
Member

01-02-2002

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:44 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Pamy a private message Print Post    
Mummy, 'Momma' is being very mean to you then. She needs to explain why 'Daddy' would be offended. If you can remember one of the phrases in question why dont you post it here and maybe some of us here can try and inform you.

I dont think you have a racist heart and if you are saying things that they have determined are 'slang' racist then they need to school you.

Im married to a black man and have a mixed son. Yes, we still say black, not african american. My husband, son, and son's friends never use AA to refer to themselves.So some people may think I am being offensive by saying blk instead of AA when Im not at all. I asked my son and husband if we should start the transition to the new so called PC term and neither wanted to. Both said they arent from Africa and dont feel that label applies to them. I dont refer to myself as caucasian I just say white.

Dog, to answer your question....I dont care what race he marries, I only care that the girl is good to him and successful at whatever career she chooses.

Jimmer
Moderator

08-30-2000

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Jimmer a private message Print Post    
So much of the reaction to these words depends on the personal relationship of the individuals. If Kalia felt that she truly knew and liked Jeff then her reaction would probably have been completely different.

That's why it is so hard to define many of these words as purely good or bad. It's the intent behind them, how and why they are said and the relationship between the people who are talking that totally affects the meaning.

Oh and to answer someone's question above, I have absolutely no problem with anyone my daughters decide to marry as long as he or she is a nice person (nice people can be hard to find - who cares about the rest).

Mummy35332
Member

09-09-2005

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 9:47 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mummy35332 a private message Print Post    
Yikes, I was distracted by kids so many times while writing my last post, its out of order now.

Shenanagon
Member

07-28-2009

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 10:04 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Shenanagon a private message Print Post    
Don't worry Mummy it happens to me too.

Regarding Jeff's "hey sister" to Kalia....Jeff was smiling, his tone friendly and Kalia smiled. I am guessing Jeff has ZERO knowledge that he offended Kalia. Everyone else may know because she talks alot but I don't recall her saying "Jeff would you call me sister it makes me feel ...."

IMO Kalia is very nervous in the house right now, she feels people don't like her and she is taking it all very personally which alot of folks do on the show.

I hope you find some good opinions here Mummy. I'd love to know more specifically what your question is.

Mummy35332
Member

09-09-2005

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 10:35 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mummy35332 a private message Print Post    
From my second post:


Example: Jeff called Kalia 'sister' while playing bags a while a go. Kalia said it was offensive.


It was two sentences, but they stuck out to me. I guess I do have to explain more. They were playing bags as a team together. No big explosion, it happened a few weeks ago. I can't quote it. Jeff was encouraging his teammate, Kalia, and called her sister. She calmly replied, don't call me that, its offensive. The end. I personally haven't heard Kalia talk about it since, but maybe others have.

Wow turned up the volumn on the feeds, same conversation.....what are you allowed to say and do.

Dogdoc
Member

09-29-2001

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 10:41 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Dogdoc a private message Print Post    
Pamy, I didn't ask any questions about race and marriage.

Mummy35332
Member

09-09-2005

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 10:52 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Mummy35332 a private message Print Post    
Hi Monique and welcome.

Let me ask because it goes to the root of the issue....If you assume everyone is prejudice to some extent, then how can we ever get rid of racism?

If words are said without the assumption that prejudice is involved, then the words, just become words.

With the assumption of prejudice, even if the person speaking the words is not prejudice, they are still perceived as prejudice.

And since the list of taboo words is ever evolving and varies from person to person.....

How can this ever be resolved?

Auntiemike
Member

09-17-2001

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 11:48 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Auntiemike a private message Print Post    
Am I the only one who sees "prejudice" as being different from "racism"? Afterall we can be prejudiced against a whole lot of things that have nothing to do with race. Just sayin'.

Puzzled
Member

08-27-2001

Sunday, July 31, 2011 - 11:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post Send Puzzled a private message Print Post    
When meeting/seeing strangers, within microseconds we all make certain judgements. The great thing about the human race is that very few people fit into stereotypes. As long as we realise this and know that our first impressions are as likely to be wrong as right, I don't think we're prejudiced.

IMO, being prejudiced means that a person sticks to their first impression or what they've been told, no matter what. If a person shows that they really don't fit into the prejudiced person's opinion, the bigot just claims that they're an exception. This way they can be bigots but still say that their best friend is a whatever.

Instead of telling a person who uses a word like, "jimmies" that they're prejudiced, a reasonable person would say something like, "do you know there are other meanings to that word?" I believe that explaining why terms are hurtful is the way to go.