Author |
Message |
Wilsonatmd
Member
01-23-2001
| Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 5:15 pm
Adam & Rebecca are an ex-couple that met at a spinning class. Rebecca's first impression of Adam was that he was gay, but after he pursued her for months, he proved otherwise. Both of them are spinning teachers/personal trainers. Both say that they share similar sensibilities, are very competitive and are both interested in fitness, but are different in every other way. She is social, he isn't. She's outgoing, he's not. He is practical and prefers routine, while she is spontaneous. Rebecca says she's doing the Race because she could use the cash, but Adam says his main motivation for doing THE AMAZING RACE is that after years of sitting on his couch watching the Race and saying, "I can do that," he wants to prove that he really can.
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Wilsonatmd
Member
01-23-2001
| Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 5:51 pm
He who wants to prove he really can Race usually ends up in Sequesterville for an extended stay....
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Seamonkey
Member
09-07-2000
| Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 8:01 pm
And exes are usually exes for a reason..
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Bbfanatic
Member
08-14-2000
| Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 11:51 am
What is up with his hair???
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Kitt
Member
09-06-2000
| Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 12:12 pm
I think he's got little devil horns!
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Weinermr
Member
08-18-2001
| Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 7:45 pm
After he pursued her for months, he proved otherwise? LOL
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Twiggyish
Member
08-14-2000
| Tuesday, November 16, 2004 - 4:36 pm
Maybe he spun a little hairdo.
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Tntitanfan
Member
08-03-2001
| Tuesday, November 16, 2004 - 9:40 pm
I am not liking the horny do!
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Hummingbird
Member
08-21-2002
| Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - 4:17 pm
I am dating myself here but he looks to me like a cross between James Cagney in Yankee Doodle Dandy and Bonnie Braids from the old Dick Tracy comic strip. I find this couple endearing somehow and hope they last longer than the team that was making fun of them for being short. Yes, the hair is ridiculous.
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Lycanthrope
Member
09-19-2002
| Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 11:44 am
Adam is a child. He needs to grow up. He doesn't deserve a woman like Rebecca. I don't know if I'm rooting against Adam or for Rebecca. Later in the game I'll have a better idea(if they stick around).
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 12:12 pm
Adam seems to me to be the classic 'drama queen'. He seems to view his world as 'black or white', in that there is absolutely no gray area, no room for compromise. When Rebecca calls him out on his childlike attitude, his immediate solution is, "Oh, should i just jump onto the tracks then? Would that fix the problem?" He's always jumping to the other extreme when she tells him that his behaviour is inappropriate. Meet her in the middle, somewhere, Adam, and you guys might make it. ??
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Weinermr
Member
08-18-2001
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 2:47 pm
Everyone's all up in arms about Jonathan and Victoria, and rightly so. But that doesn't negate the verbal abuse Adam has received from Rebecca. She seems to think that emasculating him in public is appropriate. And he puts up with it, and then throws tantrums. Another winning pair. And Lycanthrope, what do you mean that Adam doesn't deserve a woman like Rebecca? What is so desirable about someone that doesn't treat you with respect?
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 2:51 pm
Excellent post, Weiner. What's even more upsetting is that people find Adam's abuse at Rebecca's hands FUNNY!
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 2:56 pm
I don't look at Rebecca's behaviour as abuse, not really. Adam is 27 going on 12. It's hard to treat your partner as an equal when he's obviously not at the same emotional or intellectual level as you. I wouldn't have the patience to put up with his whining and his tantrums and his I-need-my-mommy routines. I think that Adam emasculates himself, and yes, she encourages it... but I'd be doing the same thing if my race partner was constantly such a baby. JMHO.
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 3:05 pm
I think it goes back and forth between these two. Am I recalling correctly that Adam was the one struggling last week in the salt task? I might be remembering wrong, but I thought she was yelling encouraging comments to him and he was being rather ugly back to her, and even told her to shut up. At the same time, I do remember this week he was being rather silly making brats which I thought was hysterical. Yet she was mean and ugly toward him, which I found very offensive. A little maturity would go a long way for both of them. 
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 3:31 pm
Last week, IIRC, she told him she was tired of babysitting her girlfriend. She also berated him because he complained about his back hurting while he was doing the salt task and feminized him in various ways throughout the task. I think she's a classic emotional/verbal abuser, which makes the fact that he begs her for forgiveness--his tearful "I don't want you not to love me" a couple weeks ago--even more tragic. I wish Adam had someone to help him out, but I think we tend to minimize verbal abuse like Rebecca doles out when it comes from women and we construe the target as somehow deserving of it.
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 3:47 pm
I didn't interpret his "I don't want you not to love me" as begging. I read it as more of his whiny, needy attitude. Note that he didn't say, "I don't want to be without you," or "I don't want to do anything to upset you," it was just that he didn't want to NOT BE LOVED. She's his lover, not his mother. And he expects her to play the 'mother' role when his real mommy is not there to blow his nose for him. I agree, Tish, that there shouldn't be any difference between a man abusing his woman and a woman abusing her man. But it's a fine line as to what 'verbal abuse' is, especailly when you have a character such as Adam, who, IMO, needs a good slap upside the head to bring him back to maturity. If a mother were to tell her 12-year old that he was acting childlike - whining, having tantrums, etc - it would not be considered 'verbal abuse', it would be called parenting. And again, she's his LOVER, not mother. So why is it 'abuse' when it's a grown man acting like a child?
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 3:57 pm
Needs a good slap upside the head? I'd never advocate physical violence, especially when he has to contend with verbal and emotional abuse from Rebecca already. His pleading came after yet another one of Rebecca's rampages about his shortcomings as a man, etc etc. That's what made it tragic and somewhat pathetic to me. Of course reasonable people can disagree about such things.
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 4:55 pm
First, I should apologize for the 'slap upside the head' comment. I don't condone physical violence either, and I use the phrase figuratively, as an expression, nothing more. As for him being berated during Rebecca's rampages on his 'shortcomings as a man'... all I can say to that is... Sometimes the truth hurts. The only 'tragic and pathetic' part I see is that he needs to hear these things at his age. I, too, am happy that we can be reasonable people and disagree respectfully.
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Babyruth
Member
07-19-2001
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 5:04 pm
I think her berating and rampages on his "shortcomings as a man" only serve to display her shortcomings as a decent person. She could have taken a more mature approach to her inability to accept him for who he is, if she had such maturity.
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Weinermr
Member
08-18-2001
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 6:26 pm
<But it's a fine line as to what 'verbal abuse' is, especially when you have a character such as Adam> I don't agree. Abuse is abuse. His behavior is irrelevant. If my friend, lover, partner, spouse, parent, child, relative, or even a stranger talked to me like Rebecca talks to Adam, we would not have a relationship any longer.
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Seamonkey
Member
09-07-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 6:43 pm
You make an excellent point, Weinermr.. and this couple is an EX couple for reasons, I suspect.. and he's very irritating to her, well then.. don't team up with him because it isn't like you are married or a current couple and clearly you don't respect him, so get out of his life. and to him.. watch the tapes and evaluate if you need to grow up a bit, but then find someone who thinks you are wonderful and go in that direction.
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Karen
Member
09-07-2004
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 7:18 pm
Ok, Ok, I don't want you guys to think I'm trying to be abrasive and start an argument here, but at the same time, I feel like I'm alone on my island here. Yes, Babyruth, Rebecca needs some work herself, I don't deny that. I do have a problem with defining their relationship as 'verbally abusive'. Maybe it is... what do I know? Yes, they are rude to each other. Yes, they insult each other. But so does every other team on the race. Sure, A&R do it more than others, but not as much as some. I've heard insults from my BF, from my mom, from my boss, my friends... and I've returned insults to them. Does that mean I've been abused? Does that make me an abuser? I'm tired of the hyper-sensitivity of this world we live in. A man lets his eyes slip while at the photocopier, and he's slapped with sexual harassment. I wish my neighbor a "Merry Christmas", not realizing his Jewish faith, and am labelled a bigot. There is a fine line. I agree, Weiner, abuse is abuse. But in this day and age, when we can't say "Merry Christmas" for fear of insulting another culture, in an age when any negative trait I have can be called a 'disease' and fixed with a prescription... I refuse to take away from those who are actually being verbally abused by labelling their petty arguing as verbal abuse. We are all so sensitive, and we are all so quick to pass the buck and take no accountability for our actions, it's so much easier for Adam to cry foul than it is for him to look inside himself and realize that he's acting like a baby. Now, I don't want to open a whole new can of worms by saying that 'he brought it on himself'. Rebecca could -- and should -- be nicer to him, I agree with that. But, to yell "abuse" every time someone offends you with something they say is downright rediculous, especailly when there might be some truth in what they're telling you. Truth hurts. Deal with it, learn from it, move on. And just to make note that these two are exes. They've already said goodbye to any respectful relationship they might have had.
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Karuuna
Member
08-31-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 7:34 pm
First of all, why do we still live in a culture where equating a man with a "girlfriend" is an insult???? Secondly, verbal abuse, as I posted in another thread is a character flaw. Doesn't make any difference if it's a woman making the derogatory comments or a man. Wrong is wrong. Finally, there is a big difference between the intent of someone saying Merry Christmas to someone, and someone making insulting comments. BIG difference. That's not being overly sensitive IMO, that's just being sensible.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 7:40 pm
Kar, I think the "girlfriend" comment was an insult because it is part of Rebecca's drive toward emasculating Adam at every opportunity. Besides, the way she says it certainly makes it clear she intends it as a derogatory comment--she fairly spits commentary like that in his direction every Tuesday night. I just wish Adam didn't put up with her verbal abuse, but he has to find it within himself to see that she is a bad partner for him because she is unwilling to show him respect or allow him any personal dignity.
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