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Archive through April 26, 2005

The TVClubHouse: Amazing Race ARCHIVES: Amazing Race VII: AR Teams: Uchenna & Joyce: Archive through April 26, 2005 users admin

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Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 1:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I still think most men would hesitate too. Most people have some vanity to them. But, I am not saying that they wouldn't cut off their hair for a million bucks. LOL

Spygirl
Moderator

04-23-2001

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 2:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Why does it have to be strictly about appearance? When someone cares a lot for their garden does it automatically mean they are concerned only for the aesthetic value it has? Is it assumed that the only reason a person would spend so much time and money on their lawn is for the way it makes their property look? Or that because it might be the reason some people do it, then it has to be the reason everyone does it?

So, then following that, the only reason I would care about a hail or ice storm bringing down a tree I planted and took care of would be because it makes my house look bad to have it removed. I mean, what would people think??!

It just doesn't ring true for me that my reluctance to shave my head would be out of a shallow desire to look good. Just like a tended yard, it includes the benefit of making the place look groomed, but it isn't the primary reason I would be emotional if I were asked to give it up.

The saddest part is that no one will believe the words I just wrote. I have been made fun of by others since the show aired and I mentioned how tough it would be. I have been told repeatedly, "It is just hair, Spy! Get over it!"

It is ironic - we are such a shallow society that no one can actually believe it isn't about appearance.


Babyjaxmom
Member

10-20-2002

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 3:19 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Spy, I agree with you. Though we certainly are a shallow society, I think hair (especially for a woman) is a big--BIG--part of our identity. It goes deeper than how much money we spend or wanting to look good. I think all of our lives we obsess about our hair--okay, not all of us, but many, many--dare I say most of us? We brunettes secretly (or not so secretly) desire to be blondes, blondes sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a sultry brunette, and those of us with curly, long for straight, smooth tresses. Likewise my friends with beautiful smooth hair wish they had more "body" and spend big bucks on mostly awful perms. It's a lot of who we are, as much as eye color, how tall we are, how fat or thin we are. Even though Joyce's hair may not have been all her "own" (and I always say, "I guess if I paid for it, it's mine now!"), it was a big part of her identity and she was so very brave to just let them cut it all off. Whether or not we would do it for a million bucks, it would still be a big deal. God bless Uchenna for understanding that and crying with her! (Gosh, here I am getting teary again! What a sap!)

Had to look this up, cause it was bothering me:

"And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head--it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head." 1 Corinthians 11:5-6

[I'm not quoting that passage to say it's a "disgrace" for a woman to shave her head, but just to note that the importance placed on a woman's hair goes back thousands of years, and not just in our society. It's ingrained in our psyches.]

Merrysea
Member

08-13-2004

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 4:21 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Spygirl, I totally understand what you are saying! I have long hair, even though I look better with it short. I've cut my hair a few times over my life, but I always let it grow back. I just feel better with long hair. It's not about appearance.

Legalboxer
Member

11-17-2003

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 4:37 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I totally agree with Spy that one should not assume that hair is just based on appearance. Our hair, regardless of gender, race, culture, etc is a huge part of our identity and to me, there is a difference between appearance and identity. Appearance can play a part in our identity but it is not the same as identity and I agree with the commentators who cite that hair represents our identity. And for that reason, having to make the sudden choice to lose our hair is like feeling as though a piece of our identity would be taken away – a piece of who we are inside as well as what people perceive us to be. It is not always about making our hair look a certain way to look good, but to portray who we are to others. I grew out my hair in the 11th grade because I was sick of people calling me a boy because of my short hair – I didn’t care about how I looked in terms of being pretty or attractive, but I wanted to make sure no one ever confused me for a boy again and I still have those thoughts whenever I consider cutting my hair (probably the reason I still only cut it twice a year.) I didn’t care if I was seen as a tomboy but I also wanted to be identified as a girl and so making sure my hair was long enough played a huge factor in that.

There is a site about a very interesting study which cites how "Our hair is one of the first things others notice about us and one of the primary ways we declare our identity to them." “…hair can play this role for three basic reasons. It is personal, growing directly out of our bodies, It is public, on view for all to see. And it is malleable, allowing us to change it more or less at whim. As a result, it's not surprising that we use our hair to project our identity and that others see our hair as a reflection of our identity.” link

In many cultures, hair can show marital status, social status, age, - identifying who the person is and not just how he or she looks. I personally do not think our society is as shallow as it appears – but I do think a majority has the perception that we are a shallow society. If someone cares about what their hair looks like for appearance reasons, it is because appearance is part of their identity – but I think there are many other reasons someone would be protective of their hair, just as they would be protective of their lawns (as spy gave an example of) or clothing or houses or cars etc… it would destroy me if I ever lose my Carolina hat that I got in 1995 – not because it is pretty to wear since it is anything but that (probably the dirtiest and most worn out hat you could find) but I wear it because it is part of who I am, my identity, and all my friends know that and know what it symbolizes, just I would think having to suddenly shave off hair would mean having to risk losing part of your identity – not your beauty or looks but something that you made the choice to be seen as and now suddenly that is gone. And for me, there is nothing shallow at all about fearing the lost of your identity,

Karen
Member

09-07-2004

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 4:57 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
The thing about my long hair is not that I like they way I look better with long than with short - I actually found out I look pretty good when it's cut short -- but my hair is one of my only creative outlets. I love playing with it, braiding it, tying it in knots and pinning it... It's not so much an accessory that makes me look better, it's an extension of who I am, (much like the gaudy yellow sweater I love to wear!)

Babyjaxmom
Member

10-20-2002

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 6:18 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Very nicely put, Legal. You must be an attorney! Our hair is so much more than about appearance, although that certainly plays a part.

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 6:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Okay ... I started to write something here but I changed it because there is no point.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 7:03 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Hey Jimmer-I agree with you. I think people do put too much emphasis on outside/external beauty.

For a million dollars, I would for sure shave my head! And I love my hair. I have red hair that is very thick and wavy and it is one of my best features. But I would lose it for a chance at a mil.

And even though it has identified me since I was a tot, (I was always the redhead. I could never get away with anything cuz all someone would have to say is the redhead did it-and I'd be caught!), I still don't feel it is that much a part of me...

Jadarville
Member

07-01-2001

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 7:48 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I had extremely short hair (which some of you have seen a picture of) for several years even though most of my family implored me to grow it back ("you have such pretty hair" says dad) and when I say short, I'm talking maybe a half inch all over, and not spiked, no matter what I tried to do it would never spike well :/ anyway, I digress. I kept it short more as a statement than anything else. a statement of "accept me as I am if you dare" no one ever did, really. ah well... it's to my shoulders now, and I'm not really comfortable with it yet, it's been about a year and a half. I feel like I'm betraying (not really right word, can't think of a better one) something inside by having it long. kind of odd.
I was cheering Joyce on every step of the way, and Uchenna was awesome. I love them both and hope they get their baby, either birth, or adopted. She seemed very touched by the orphanage. My best friend and her husband went to China and adopted a little boy (unusual for China) they debated and decided to adopt overseas because of the whole legal issue with adopting Stateside. They did not want to have to contend with the possibility of having to give it up

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 7:50 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Thanks Julie. I’m just trying to show another perspective. Without going into further details with regard to what I was going to say before, I do not remotely mean to imply that people should be slobs regarding their personal appearance or their lifestyle.

I photograph a lot of people and I always try to help my clients feel good about themselves and show their personality and what defines them as an individual. Not everyone is beautiful on the outside (as defined by today’s standards - not mine) but many have an inner beauty that I try to capture.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 5:27 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I would shave off my hair for a million dollars too. Doesn't mean I wouldn't cry, but I would do it. Wouldn't do it for $1,000 bucks though....maybe as low as $50,000.

Legalboxer
Member

11-17-2003

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 7:46 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
SONNET 130
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.


Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 9:54 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ah the wonderful William Shakespeare. That is a beautiful sonnet. Thanks for posting it.

I hope everyone understands that I am not unfeeling. I do understand that a person’s hair is in some respects an extension of their being and that it is generally more meaningful for women than men (though some men can get pretty tense about it ). I also think there is nothing wrong with caring about your appearance. Providing it's not an obsession, it is a good thing.

So I think there's nothing wrong with her being upset or finding it hard. I’m just not sure how much praise and adulation there should be for crying about shaving it off to win a million bucks though? As far as we know, she is a relatively young and healthy woman and there are worse things in life than that.

I still love everything else of what we have seen of Uchenna and Joyce.

Seamonkey
Member

09-07-2000

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 11:03 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I'd shave my head for two reasons.. a million bucks would be one (or something like that), or, in solidarity with a friend who had chemo, if it seemed like it would be a helpful thing for them.
My hair is too short to add a third, for Locks of Love, though that just requires going from long to short hair, usually).

Frankly, my opinion is that the head shaving "task" is just mean.. I thought so when it cropped (pun intended) up last season on TAR and I thought so when it was part of The Mole (although in that show, refusing to shave, which a young woman who was also plannning a wedding, did, could be part of the game of "who is the mole")

Jimmer, I'm sure Joyce would count not being able to become pregnant much worse than parting with her hair.


Babyjaxmom
Member

10-20-2002

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 11:37 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Jimmer, I don't think anybody here believes it was the end of the world for Joyce to shave her head, just that it was kind of traumatic (and of course there are worse things than losing your hair!). It was just hard to watch her sob and be so emotional like that without being caught up in the drama--especially with Uchenna being so sweet to her. I'm sure part of her crying was probably due to the exhaustion of the travel, which probably inflates a lot of otherwise trivial events into big deals. You know how tiny things can set you off when you're tired or hungry? It was just very moving to watch her power through when you could see how hard it was for her at the time.

Karuuna
Member

08-31-2000

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 11:45 am   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I think many of us are trained from an early age that our appearance IS such an important part of who we are. In addition, so many studies have shown that it is easier to be successful in this world if you are attractive.

I freely admit I have some hair issues. I honestly don't know if I could shave my head for *any* reason. So many years, so many people have complimented me on the long blonde locks, I just don't know if I could do it. In fact, I even told a friend once that I would have a hard time saying yes to chemotherapy to save my life, knowng that I'd lose my hair. Hopefully I will never have to make that decision.

I admire people who are not so attached. I had a friend who shaved her head once and went without wearing makeup for a year to strengthen her spirituality. I was so impressed, and partly because it was something I didn't think I could ever do.

So, I am very impressed with Joyce going through with this and I appreciate how difficult it is. I also have to say, she looked amazing without her hair. She and Uchenna are a very impressive couple, for many wonderful reasons.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 12:27 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I am not sure why, (maybe I am evil!) but I like when they do the head shave as a task. I guess I think it will show those who REALLY REALLY want the money.

Texannie
Member

07-16-2001

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 1:16 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Well said Babyjax!

Seamonkey
Member

09-07-2000

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 1:41 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Karuuna, if I had your hair, I'd be less likely to part with it!!

I know if you ever do require chemo, you'll deal with it.. heck you could even have a wig made of your own hair! And of course pray that you NEVER have to even consider that option.



Konamouse
Member

07-16-2001

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 2:02 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Ah, Locks of Love. When konashark & were discussing if we would do that FF (he would easily, it would be much harder for me), I said "it would have to be saved for Locks of Love". Even if I had to drag it around with me through the rest of the journey (but I'd bet that one of the AR producers would take it off my hands).

'squeek'

Seamonkey
Member

09-07-2000

Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 2:35 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I thought the same thing, Kona, but Pamy may be right and they may be store bought braids, in which case.. well I might also want to save them or maybe she did!

Gidget
Member

07-28-2002

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 6:31 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
i love watching u&j interact with the locals. their respect for everyone always shines thru. i bet in some of the smaller locations it is the first time some of the locals are up close with americans. i am glad we have ambassadors like u&j. i really hope they win.

Julieboo
Member

02-05-2002

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 7:04 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
Very sweet when Gretchen told Joyce that she was beautiful.

Jimmer
Member

08-30-2000

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 7:28 pm   Edit Post Move Post Delete Post View Post    
I was happy to see Joyce without the scarf. She should be proud of what she did and not at all concerned about how she looks. And, in any event, she does look beautiful (more beautiful IMO than she did with all that hair).