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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 1:31 pm
I am also glad Steve and Linda are out. It was aggravating seeing a woman "thank" her own husband for being kind to her for a change. To me it felt as bad as if she was thanking him for not beating her that day. Me too. I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. Like she/they live in another time and place for that to be said.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:04 pm
Well I have to admit that I was pretty sleepy when I watched the show so I probably missed some stuff. Can someone refresh my memory about how Steve was abusive to Linda? Was he nasty or mean to her when she totally went off course and finished that challenge so far behind everyone else? What things did he do and say?
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Scooterrific
Member
07-08-2005
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:06 pm
I'll shut up because I know I will be in the minority here.
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Pashine362
Member
08-20-2005
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:34 pm
FYI: I don't know if anyone cares about this, but when Jimmer said that he was pretty sleepy while watching the show - Here in Northeast Ohio, every Friday night at 8:00 pm, the Travel Channel shows the previous Sunday's Amazing Race episode. So, if anyone who gets this channel does miss an episode for some reason, check out the Travel Channel and you may be able to catch the previous episode on Friday! I really enjoyed re-watching the first episode this past Friday! And now back to lurkerville - and the recliner - nap time! 
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Calamity
Member
10-18-2001
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:37 pm
Pretty good tasks so far this season! I'd have liked to see more of the Segway obstacle course Detour but was really, really happy that the wind changed so at least one Racer got to do the Paragliding Roadblock. That must have been exhilarating (and I'd love to try it - ziplines & paragliding are on my dream TAR task list but bungee jumping and skydiving and stunt planes are definitely not!). Such beautiful scenery too - it makes me sad to think of all the ugly, homogenized blandness and overdevelopment that have disfigured so many American towns. So far I like all the teams - some more than others but there aren't I dislike. While Steve was somewhat critical of Linda's slow pace during the first leg, he apologized for that. Linda's reaction after getting lost didn't give me the sense that there was anything wrong between her and Steve - I just thought she felt pretty overwhelmed by the Race and also very bad that her mistake could get them eliminated. I felt just awful when they both burst into tears at the mat although I'll admit part of me was a little relieved because Linda just seemed to be struggling so much that it was difficult to watch her. I'm not sure what the eliminated teams do but I hope they got to see some sights because this was probably a once-in-lifetime chance for them. I still love Phil. (I just hope his coat isn't real shearling. *Baa*)
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Auntiemike
Member
09-17-2001
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:47 pm
The highlight for me last night was watching Phil's eyebrow go up! We all got a good chuckle by his "signature" look when people come up to the mat.
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Calamity
Member
10-18-2001
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:52 pm
So far I like all the teams - some more than others but there aren't any I dislike. Just correcting my post, I accidentally left out the word "any". There's probably another typo I missed though, lol.
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Hermione69
Member
07-24-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 2:57 pm
Jimmer, if your post was directed at mine, I never said he was abusive. I could never say that based on the what, ten whole minutes they were on my TV screen. I thought I was clear that there was simply a dynamic there in how overly grateful she was to him for not being mad at her that reminded me of my abusive marriage in which I was always grateful for the times he treated me kindly which made it uncomfortable for me to watch them. I will say that she was so concerned about keeping him happy and not mad at her and that didn't strike me as healthy. When she was lost, she was so worried about him being mad and it was making her even more agitated.
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Hermione69
Member
07-24-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 3:02 pm
Scooter, you should never be afraid of being in the minority. Spill.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 5:45 pm
I thought when Linda was lost and whimpered that "now he will hate me" that sounded like she really feared him. He was pretty unkind to her in the first episode, so much so that he was moved (or moved by the producers) to go on record as apologizing. I guess the vibe I got was that I would be uncomfortable around them and walking on eggs, not really wanting to hear their bickering. I DO hope that the rest of their time will include more fun travelling because they really were taking in the beauty of the area and without being on the race, there is so much they might be able to see. But if all they do is go to a sequester type gorgeous home like teams did last year, they should have a nice vacation.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 6:11 pm
There's no doubt that she was very upset about disappointing him. I have some questions about whether that can be extrapolated into an abusive relationship as this sort of thing has been common with many players in completely different relationships (mother/son, father/daughter, sisters, friends, etc.) over the course of many seasons of TAR (of course those relationships could be abusive as well). I can see that possibility though.
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 6:22 pm
He looks much younger than she does, is there a big age gap between them? I also got the abuser relationship vibe from her. I half expected her to say 'Hope he don't beat me when we get alone tonite' but then at the end when he was crying my vibe kind of went away. I was sad to see them go, they seemed very sweet and in love. Wish them the best
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Pamy
Member
01-02-2002
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 6:24 pm
found the answer to my own question Linda Cole (52); Steve Cole (43)
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Punkinsmom
Member
02-13-2009
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 7:25 pm
Well I for one liked Steve and Linda. I wish they would have stayed longer. I really wanted Christie and Jodie to go home last night. Talk about a couple of loose screws WOW!
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Christy358
Member
07-10-2007
| Monday, February 23, 2009 - 9:56 pm
I wish Steve and Linda had done better as well. I kind of got the idea that he might think outside the box on some of the challenges... (he kind of did on the cheese one) As far as her reaction to him, seems to me she acts as a person who was abused, but might not have been him and might not have been physical. Just someone in her life she could never please.
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Hermione69
Member
07-24-2002
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 5:59 am
Again, Jimmer, I specifically said I would not extrapolate abuse from the little time I saw them on my TV screen. I was simply sharing that the dynamics between them, particularly on Linda's part, reminded me of myself when I was in an abusive relationship and that they made me uncomfortable for that reason. We all filter things through the lens of our own life experiences. Christie and Jodi make me laugh. They seem to have a sense of humor and it was funny when they made the dumb blonde comment. I'm glad they squeaked through, but they need to step it up. I think Luke has a crush on the redheads! Boy, he really got frustrated during the pie challenge, but he and his mom seem to have a good way of responding to each other. His mom is amazing. She tackled that downhill run like she was 20 years younger. I like the stuntmen and I like the father/son. Having to wait for the wind to die down really paid off for the latter. I think Tammy and Victor are definitely going to be the team to beat. It will be interesting to see how the friction between them plays out on the upcoming episode.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 7:49 am
I can't decide if I'm glad that Stephen and Linda are done or not. I found them to be a fascinating couple; and my heart was just aching for her when she was so alone and lost. Bless those folks who picked her up and drove her back around. She strikes me as someone who really lacks self confidence, and as very anxious. Whether that's her general personality or a factor that gets exacerbated by an impatient husband is really impossible to tell with so little knowledge. It's probably a both/and kind of thing, rather than an either/or.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 8:43 am
I agree. I know the old expression of "where there is smoke there is fire" so it is possible that their relationship is abusive but as we all have been saying, it is impossible to tell with the brief evidence presented by a few minutes on a TV show, especially since Steve seemed so much more supportive and non-critical in the last episode. She may be insecure as the result of events in her life prior to meeting Steve and this has just continued on into their marriage. As Karuuna mentioned it may be a combination of these things. I also agree that we all tend to filter things through our own life experiences. For example, I thought it was rather sweet and complimentary when she said that the thing she loves the most about Steve is that he loves her so much. Other people viewed that as demeaning herself or a sign that Steve treats her badly. However, it may be a sign that other people have treated her badly in the past and her experience with Steve is different. The good thing is that seeing things from a different perspective is part of what makes these discussions so interesting. We often see a lot of tension in teams where the capability of one of the team members greatly exceeds the other. The more capable teammate is often at best demanding and at worst critical and the less capable member is often very concerned about letting down his or her teammate. Nothing new there.
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Nerovh
Member
06-12-2005
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 9:17 am
I think Linda probably has had some experience with abuse, whether it was physical, verbal, or mental at some point in her life. I don't necessarily think that Steve was the one who caused her to act this way, though. Somebody I am very close to was in a marriage for 20 years with a man who was verbally and mentally abusive to her. Everytime I was around them, I was on pins and needles just waiting for him to explode at her or one of the kids. She finally divorced him, and is married to a really nice guy now, but it took her a long, long time to realize that this husband was not going to react to things the way her first husband did. For a long time, she would apologize for being late or doing some little insignificant thing that would have made her first husband furious and her second husband would ask her what on earth she was apologizing for. She's been married to her second husband for over 10 years now, and she still says she can't believe how good he is to her. Watching Linda was stressful and painful because it set off all kinds of alarm bells for me. Apparently I'm not the only one who felt that way. I just hope that Steve is the good guy he looked like on the second episode and will help Linda overcome some of her fears and self-esteem issues.
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Hermione69
Member
07-24-2002
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 9:41 am
Very nice post, Nerovh. Thanks for sharing.
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 9:47 am
I'm also not going to judge Steve, but I also don't think it's just past relationships for Linda. I mean at the beginning of the show, Steve is going on and on, crying, about how he is going to try to be nicer to Linda during this leg, and then Linda is crying during the whole show about how mean Steve usually is when she screws up with something, and how worried she is about it. I mean it was spelled out for us, by them, and we didn't even have to guess or assume anything.
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Calamity
Member
10-18-2001
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 10:06 am
Maybe I'm just oblivious (I have been known to be from time to time) but I didn't interpret Linda's reaction to be fearful or pleading. To me, it seemed like she was so upset on the trail because she was tired, fairly overwhelmed, and realized she had probably made a huge and pretty stupid mistake that was likely to cost her team the Race. If I had been the one to miss the route marker, I'd feel just terrible and I don't say that to dump on Linda. She made a mistake, that's all. As for her comments to Steve while in the car - more than anything it made me think of how sometimes when someone screws up, he/she goes on and on about feeling awful about it and about how the other person is just so great which tends to short circuit any criticism from the other person because he/she then feels obliged to say it's okay. It's actually kind of manipulative but not necessarily malicious. Who wants to hear that they've messed up, especially when they know they did? It really is all just perception as we just don't know the truth. I'm simply not comfortable with thinking the worst based on what I saw. But I could be wrong though so please don't anyone take that as me dismissing different opinions. I've certainly felt insecure, stressed, and disappointed in myself so I really am sympathetic to Linda.
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 10:10 am
Linda actually said that Steve usually gets very mean and angry with her when she screws up. I took it to mean in life, not the show. That's the only place I am putting my own interpretation...As to where/when this anger/meanness happens. I have no idea as to the "degree".
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Calamity
Member
10-18-2001
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 10:38 am
Yes, but I can consider Linda's claim in a variety of ways. Maybe Steve is just a mean and angry man. Or maybe he's become frustrated because Linda is repeatedly screwing up. Maybe Linda exaggerates Steve's temper as a way to deflect blame because she knows she's always screwing up. Maybe Linda's experiences have made her very (perhaps overly) sensitive to criticism. Maybe Steve is a dolt who doesn't realize that his comments and attitude are hurtful to Linda. And so on. I can't say because I don't know. *Sigh* What I do know is I should have limited my comments to the paragliding, the Segway, and how attractive Phil is (but not his coat, if it's real) and just stayed out of this discussion.
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Naja
Member
06-28-2003
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - 10:40 am
Why should you have limited you conversation, Calamity? I hope you aren't taking my posts in some kind of horrible tone. Really, in my mind as type out my posts, it's just a conversational friendly tone. Nothing to run from, really 
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