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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 12:50 pm
I agree tht you have to deal with people who are provoking you, even if it is by smiling. The problem here is that Luke can't hear what they are saying to go along with the smiling, which makes it very hard to determine an appropriate response. I imagine he's very good at reading body language, and their body language was derogatory. But except for his mom's translating that's all he had to go by. For all he knew, at the time, they could have been calling him a 'b-' again.
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Seamonkey
Moderator
09-07-2000
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:00 pm
My thought was that the first smile and laughing was out of sheer stress/embarrassment. But frankly, people are going to smile.. deal with it. I think the smile happend and THEN, L/J said that yeah, it would probably piss off Luke and too bad. I really don't think they had planned it.. oh we will go to the mat and Phil will ask about the situation and Luke and Margie will explode and so we will laugh/smile to get at them. And I don't think Margie planned to, ahead of time, start shouting that because they are black they should somehow be more empathetic to Luke and willing to cut him more slack than with someone else. And what was Luke doing? having a physical tantrum.
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Karuuna
Board Administrator
08-31-2000
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:06 pm
Actually, they did plan to smile to provoke him. There was a clip showing them saying exactly that.
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Gidget
Member
07-28-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:08 pm
Jimmer, I have heard that lip reading is not as precise as we are led to believe on TV and such. Signing is much more useful. I know I would like to lip read if I were deaf. I actually try to do it now because I have some small hearing problems in certain situations. I would say I can make out a word here and there but not enough to be of much use.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:10 pm
I think that, because LaKisha is a lesbian, Margie should be more empathetic. It's identity politics run amuck.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:18 pm
I've heard that being deaf does not automatically mean lip reading. Some deaf do not. Just last Friday I was at a book signing by Marlee Matlin. Her interpreter was there. After she signed my book I said something that didn't call for much of a response. Her interpreter signed what I said to her.
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Roxip
Member
01-29-2004
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:23 pm
Why is anyone's sexuality worthy of being such an issue?
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Carmenv
Member
04-14-2006
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:36 pm
Tishala, I agree with the point you made about Luke saying that it wasn't cool to call the DEAF boy a b*tch. It just isn't nice to call ANYBODY a b*tch. I didn't like the way Luke qualified it. For me, HE made it about deafness in that statement alone, when it really didn't have anything to do at all with him being deaf.
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Tishala
Member
08-01-2000
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:40 pm
Roxip, I don't think it does. My comment was about the "deaf and gay" stuff with Luke, which can be turned on its head when we start referring to LaKisha as "lesbian and African American." My point is that the identity politics of the whole kerfuffle is specious to me. And it was precisely this kind of identity politics that infuriated me about Margie's rant--the "because you are black" thing or her insistence that the hearing world always treats deaf people in X or Y way. If Jen had said that the white world treats African Americans in a particular way (without any equivocation), I suspect people would have objected in the most strenuous way possible. Anyhow, sorry. I held my tongue about Luke and Margie for a long time, but last night pushed me over the edge.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:47 pm
Wait, is Luke gay?
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Hypermom
Member
08-13-2001
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:51 pm
Julie, yes he is.
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 1:55 pm
Didn't know that. Doesn't factor in here really. He has his share of "minority" statuses. And he really has a "helicopter" mom. Can't say I would be too much different as I am so close to my son. He is 9, but I know already I need to back off and let him fall...
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 2:21 pm
Julie, I have an 8 year old. DH says I protect him too much, but he's my one and only, so in that way I can relate to Margie. She is a "helicopter" mom though. 
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Lexie_girl
Member
07-30-2004
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 2:22 pm
Lakisha is gay? I've got to get my gaydar checked. I didn't pick up on that. I would be happy with either a Tammy/Victor or Jen/Lakisha win!
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Julieboo
Member
02-05-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 2:30 pm
Me too Lexie. Either one of those two. I really really wanted to root for the mom/son (cuz my 9 yr old sometimes watches it with me and we root for mom/son together.) I was delighted when they won the "first team to arrives." But last night I am glad my ds did not see a grown up act like a baby.
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Jimmer
Moderator
08-30-2000
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 2:37 pm
While I think that Luke could have behaved better, I do empathize a little with him (or at least as best as I can as someone who doesn't face the same sort of obstacle). It must be frustrating to have so much difficulty communicating with people at the best of times and it must be monumentally frustrating in intense situations where he is trying get his point across and make others understand him.
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Colordeagua
Member
10-25-2003
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 2:40 pm
I've been thinking exactly that too, Jimmer. But Margie is a "helicopter" mom and that doesn't do Luke any good.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 2:46 pm
My point is that the identity politics of the whole kerfuffle is specious to me. Oh my, Tishala, what a great sentence! As an English Lit. major, I just enjoyed the sound of that sentence. Kerfuffle is such an underused word. Seriously! I'm a fan! Back on topic, how on earth would Luke manage to communicate with them if Margie weren't there? He's not able to verbally speak for himself, so I guess she's just used to stepping in. She really did escalate that situation, though. I never would've told my son someone called him a bad name . . . but then he's only 8.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 3:33 pm
Babyjaxmom, I have been wondering the same thing. What is Luke was going to do if he is ever somewhere without his Mom. It sure seems like he should develop some alternate methods of communicating (which I realize would be very hard)but I wouldn't think his Mom is always going to be with him, it does worry me that he is in real trouble if they were to ever get separated.
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Spear
Member
08-06-2001
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 3:46 pm
I think they've shown Luke communicating through a notepad.
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Babyjaxmom
Member
10-20-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 4:09 pm
It would be really hard to write on a notepad if you were as upset as he was at the mat. I think even Phil was taken aback by the drama. Wish there was somewhere we could go to see more. Did it really go on for 45 minutes?
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Auntiemike
Member
09-17-2001
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 5:05 pm
They NEVER called Luke a b*tch, they said, "It was a b*tch move." That's something way different than actually personally calling him a name. They were giving name to his action.
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Dipo
Member
04-23-2002
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 5:10 pm
ACutally, auntiemike, I believe Jen said b*tch to him at the box and then called it a bitchmove in the car.
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Legalboxer
Member
11-17-2003
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 5:25 pm
We have seen luke use a pen/paper to communicate before ... and again i just want to bring up its all about INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY - its just as hard for some to speak out loud and converse when that upset in the same way it may be hard to write or sign when that upset- its all in your demeanor and how you react to such situations...and as for alternative forms of communication, anyone can find to communicate (both ways) if they have it in their personality. We have no idea how Luke is on his own, so we cant make assumptions about him specifically but i do agree it doesnt help to have a mother that overprotective in the way Margie is PORTRAYED.
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Keldogg
Member
08-12-2005
| Monday, April 20, 2009 - 5:33 pm
Remember, folks, when it all boils down to it, we're watching a "reality" show, where what is shown and what isn't shown is all in the hands of the editors. We all see things through our own "life experience" glasses, and though I might criticize someone's behavior, I'm not going to make the leap and decide I know what their relationship really is, based on some editor's whim.
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